Tuesday Night Recommendation #2

She Hulk #8

Why should you buy it?

a) It's a Civil War tie-in! Those are always fun. Uh yeah, ignore that one.

a) Dan Slott. Marvel's answer to Geoff Johns. The man knows continuity, knows superheroes, and knows how to find that quirk, that angle, that makes you look at them in a whole new light.

b) She-Hulk! She's a seven foot tall, drop dead gorgeous looker, who is also a green giant of infinite strength, who is also a lawyer specializing in the vagaries of superhero and superpowered law! How can you beat that?

c) The Thing. Which was excellent. Which was also written by Dan Slott. Was cancelled. Because of you. Because you didn't buy it. Murderer.

Don't let another excellent Marvel book die. Because you know they'll just replace it with another X-book.

(maybe they should re-title the book X-She-Hulk, but maybe that sounds too transsexual.)

Does Lex Luthor Do Drugs?

No, really. Does Lex Luthor get high? Ride the powder? Kiss the sky? Take a long ride with Lucy is the Sky with Diamonds? Smoke Smoke?

Obviously, I'm talking about post-Crisis Luthor, the powerful businessman, not the pre-crisis Mad Scientist. That guy was clearly on something. I mean, look at him!

But post-Crisis Lex acted a lot more rational. On the other hand, he was also a lot fatter.

That's a man that indulges his appetites. Though we never really see him put away a large deep dish pizza, we do see him smoke and drink fine wine and aged scotch. He openly lusts after women and usually gets them. And legality never seems like an issue to Lex.

So why wouldn't he? Or rather, why do I have trouble actually imagining him doing drugs? I certainly don't see him rolling a joint. And maybe the Michael Rosenbaum young, hip Luthor might pop a tab of E before hitting a rave, but it's hard to imagine Superman's most deadly nemesis tripping out like that. Heroin seems a little... scruffy for the bald baddie. I guess I could imagine Lex snorting cocaine. It seems like a rich man's drug.

But I guess I can't imagine Luthor getting addicted to anything. Despite the amount of alcohol he seems to have in his desk, I never read a story with him drunk. He lights his cigars only when he wants to look non-chalant. And though he has pursued many women, he has always had a goal in mind beyond sex (which makes Lex one of the few male villains who use his sexuality as a weapon).

Drugs would be a thing he craves other than power. And since Lex trades on the desires of others, giving himself such a weakness seems... out of character.

So, while I can imagine The Penguin inhaling a line with that impressive nostril, The Cheetah being blissed out on H, or the Flash's Rogues passing around a fat doobie while reminiscing about the good old days, I have to think that Lex Luthor would just say "no."

(I think the Joker would say "no" too, not because he'd get addicted, but because there really isn't a drug out there that would make him more crazed)

Tuesday Night Recommendation #1

For my first Recommendation, I'm going to give you an easy one.

Fell #5

Why should you buy it?

a) It's only $1.99. You can't even get coffee at Starbucks for $1.99.

b) It's a done-in-one story. So even if you haven't picked up the book before you can get in at the beginning of the story, and ALSO get the ending. All for $1.99!

c) It's by Warren Ellis. The man has a good track record for thought provoking, boundary-stretching material. So you not only support a good comic, you support the effort to expand what comics can be!

d) It's a really good series. Detective Fell is the last good cop in a bad part of town. There is literally a crime going on everywhere he turns, and he seems to be the only one left that cares. Dark moody art contributes to the haunting atmosphere, but the book is really carried along by the sharp dialogue. Even in the muck, it seems, you can't lose your sense of humor.

e) Because I told you to. Really, that's all you need to know.

So, when you head down to your local comic book retailer this week, your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to buy a copy of Fell #5 and read it.

Because saving good books is too important to leave to someone else.

Where Was I Again?

Huh, look at that. A month and a half.

If you've been wondering where I've been...

Okay, you haven't been wondering where I've been, because if you're reading this you probably followed a link from a comment I left on your site. It's easy to post a comment from work (shh) but more difficult to write a real post, particularly if I want to use images. Still trying to figure my blogging schedule (one a day, right?) and wondering if I should get a scanner.

But enough blogging about blogging. Today I want to talk about the "unjustly" cancelled. Two titles I enjoy, two titles I learned about because other bloggers recommended them, were cancelled today. The Thing and Manhunter.

Now, am I upset that these titles are cancelled? Yes. They were fun, and knowing that I won't have much more fun with them is disappointing. Am I upset with Marvel and DC for canceling them? No. Both titles had abysmally low sales despite critical acclaim, and despite the opinions of some, comic book companies are not in the business of keeping your imaginary friends alive. They are in the business of making money.

Do I even blame the fans who bought every X-Men comic, just to complain about how horrible their X-Men comics are? Nope. Because they don't know better. I blame myself. Why?

Because I didn't do enough to get other people to buy these books. I could have recommend them. Well, not here, 'cause no one's reading yet. But on my other blog, which some people read. (Eeek, I need to update that, too).

I have friends who are only sorta-kinda into comics. I could have told them about it. Spammed my friends with the latest book they just had to try. Heck, I could have been the crazy guy in the store, shoving copies of Ex Machina and Y-the Last man into people's hands. (Okay, those books don't need my help, but they're quality books nevertheless).

So once a week, I'm going to make my Tuesday Night recommendation. I will look at what's coming out tomorrow, and based on mostly pulling things out of my ass, I will tell you what to get. Just one issue. All it'll cost you is 3 bucks. That's like giving up half a Big Mac. For quality entertainment, it's not a bad investment.

Besides, you could lose a few pounds.

It Had to Be Said #1

Batman/Robin slash fic and jokes are disturbing not because of the gay, but because of the pedophilia.

That is all.

She Wanted Out

Some people think Wonder Woman is a lesbian, just because she grew up on an island of only women. And is really strong and tough and ready to fight. And used to shout out "Suffering Sappho" when surprised.

But I don't. Oh, I'm sure she dabbled a bit in college (or the Academy as she probably called it). But look at how quick she was to get off her island, where she was a princess and had her pick of any of the immortal and impossibly beautiful Amazons that surrounded her, the moment, the second, a man washed up on her shore.

Ironically, considering that she herself was sculpted, not born, Diana was the only breeder on the island. And the thing she craved more than anything was something her sisters just didn't have to give her. Something she could only find in Man's World.

Ads

I bought four comics today (reviews to come).

While I enjoyed all four, what caught my eye the most was what I found on the back of the DC books this week:

A Ponitac Solstice ad.

A car ad. For a $20,000 car. On the back of a Batman comic book.

Someone, somewhere, thought that someone reading Batman, or Manhunter, or, (I'm guessing) Robin might be in the market for a mid-range priced car.

About time. About time someone put money down on the proposition that adults read superhero comic books. Successful adults at that.

As I was leaving the local comics store, I passed three men in business suits. There were lots of people in the store, coming from a range of socio-economic backgrounds. I'm not sure everyone in the store could afford to buy a car, but they were all old enough to drive one.

Compare that to She-Hulk. The plot is about a rape trial, which is a perfectly good plot for the book. But the ads are for candy, video games, action figures, and more candy. The ad going for the oldest demographic is The Benchwarmers, the latest Rob Schneider movie, which is capping out at 15, most. If you're young enough to want a Ring-Pop, you're not old enough to read this book.

So for all out moaning that comics aren't just for kids anymore, and haven't been for decades, nothing will really change until more people are willing to put their money where there mouth is and pony up the dough. So the Pontiac ad is a good start.

One day I honestly hope to see a comic book with ads for shaving equipment, retirement options, and Viagra pills. Maybe then I'll believe comics aren't just for kids.

Superheroes and Politics

I think superheroes should be more openly political.



Like my man GA Superman did, I want them to deal with real issues and nitty gritty problems, using fantastic powers and extra-legal means to achieve real ends.

Now, this doesn't mean I want them to have my politics. I don't need to be flattered by having Green Arrow be right all the time. I love issues where Captain Atom's conservative, pro-government stance is the correct one, or The Question's terrifying Objectivist libertarianism sounds almost convincing.

And I don't want them talking politics all the time. I came to see them hit stuff. But instead of alien slave masters, how about smacking around a sweatshop owner, or a drug dealer.

I want to see them dealing with "real world issues" is because they seem oddly detatched otherwise, particularly modern Clark Kent. The guy works for a major metropolitan newspaper and his wife is a feminist icon, in the real world and the fictional one. So the fact that he doesn't seem to have a political philosophy, let alone belong to a political party, strikes me as rather naïve.

Couldn't Batman do more to bring down the crime rate as Billionaire Bruce Wayne than a phantom of the night? And Wonder Woman's supposed to be an ambassador who seems to have no interest in international relations.

The big punch outs against mad gods and sinister secret societies are fun, and they should remain the focus of the plots. But the characters should, at least in their off time, have some interaction with the problems of the real world. Otherwise they really do look like children fighting amongst themselves while the grown-ups do all the work.

Supervillain and Writers

On my other blog, I posted about how factions of the Republican Party match up pretty well with Superman villains.

But thinking about them, the villains, I though about how I would write them. And I realized that I would writer each in the style of a different writer.

For example, Lex Luthor, I would try to write him a Garth Ennis would write him. Ennis's villains are all over the map, Starr, the head of religious secret society, Ma Gnucci, the harridan head of a crime family, God, but they share certain characteristics. One, they weild an incredible amount of authority over other people. They are supremely arrogant. And though they profess to have only the highest ideals, in reality they are motivated by survival and satisfying their most basic desires. All of which fit Luthor to a T. But more than that, Ennis knows how to write a complete bastard that we really, really, want to punch in the face. If Superman isn't at least tempted to throw Luthor through a wall or two, then he's not Luthor.

Brainiac, the alien intelligence, I would try to write as Warren Ellis. Ellis writes bastards too, but his bastards tend to be the hero. Ellis's problem is that, though he pretends otherwise, he cares about people. His best villains, therefore, are monsterous intelligences, like the Four from Planetary, forget their own humanity and consider other human beings noticeable only as resources and playthings. Brainiac not only is an alien, but he moves away from his own biological original form, and away from anything Ellis or the reader could feel any sympathy for.

Mr. Mxyzptlk (which I spelled right on the first try... I am such a nerd)

Anyway, Mr. Myxzptlk is a fifth dimensional imp who not only can do anything he wants, he knows he's in a comic book and can bully and cajole the editor into shaping the story as he would like. That kind of fourth wall breaking meta-commentary is right up the alley of Grant Morrison.
Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head, and as far as I know, none of these writers have not written these characters.

Are there any other characters that should be written by certain writers, but haven't been yet?

Mascot

So, it seems, I need a mascot for my blog. My hero, my sure-sell.

Dorian has Wildcat.

Scipio has Vibe.

Chris has OMAC.

I'm being a greedy bastard, and I'm taking Superman.

I guess I should be more specific. I'm taking this Superman. Golden Age Superman. Doesn't fly, doesn't have super vision, or super pets, or anything, Superman. This guy is all man.

And he wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty. I mean, just look at him! He sees evil and he goes right after it. He's so tough, he's scares the Iron Cross of Der Furhur!

Cause that was what this Superman did. This Superman fought for The People. He took on government corruption, unsafe mine conditions, war profiteers who reap a fortune off a senseless war. You know, things we couldn't possibly relate to in 2006.

And he did so as both Superman and Clark Kent. Because he knew that some jobs were jobs for the news media, and then his greatest power was the ability to write The Truth™.

And some jobs were jobs for Superman, and then it was time for the fists of steel!

What he didn't do, right away, was fight aliens and mad scientists, and he certainly did not come up with elaborate plots to protect his secret identity. Hell, he'd tell anyone who would listen that he was a reporter, if it would help his story. And he never, ever, ever, beat someone just because he represented goodness. It was either the typewriter or the fists. One or the other.

And I should also add that I do NOT mean this guy:

Earth-2 Superman is NOT the Golden Age Superman. He's an old version of the Silver Age Superman pretending to be from the Golden Age. And you know how I know?

For the past 20 years, E2 Superman has been watching Earth, pissed off that bad things happened to the superheroes.

GA Superman couldn't give two shits about what other superheroes were doing. Superheroes weren't The People. No, he'd be fine with that.

But if he had been Golden Age Superman, he would have broken out of there the moment the 2000 Election happened, and proceded to beat the shit out of the Supreme Court, the Bushes, the Republican Party, and the entire state of Florida.

Cause that's how he rolls.