Opening today, the best movie almost no one in America will get to see

If you'll allow me to vent a little bit, easily one of my favorite books of all time, "The Damned Utd," has been made into a movie (with the final word stretched out to United), but I now find it's opening today, but not ANYWHERE near me.

I checked Access Atlanta just in case an hour drive would deliver it to me. Nope. I checked the movie release schedule to see if it's ever slated to play wider than L.A. and N.Y. As far as I can tell, nope. Sheesh.

If you've never heard of this book, I really can't recommend it highly enough, whether you are a soccer fan or not (and don't even get me started on just how we're getting screwed with Saturday's U.S.-Honduras World Cup qualifier.) The piece of historical fiction by David Peace gets inside the mind of football manager Brian Clough for the ill-fated 44 days he led Leeds United, a team he admits he hates even as he takes the helm.

Though the Clough family has taken issue with both the book and movie, Peace's work is a fascinating psychological portrait, and it keeps up a brisk pace as it jumps back and forth between Leeds and Clough's earlier triumph at Derby County. And just in case you're reading this and do happen to live in a place lucky enough to get this flick, here's a little more incentive: It stars Michael Sheen as the manic Mr. Clough and features a screenplay from Peter Morgan, writer of "The Queen" and other works.

For the rest of us, I suppose it's just "Couples Retreat," but I can't imagine there's any chance you'll catch me anywhere near that one. It's more than a little depressing that something that looks so stupid was written by Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau, making it, I suppose, their "follow-up"-of-sorts to "Swingers." Oh well. I'm sure they all had fun filming this in Bora Bora or wherever with Ralphie from "A Christmas Story," and as for me, I think I'll take the chance to catch up with Ricky Gervais' "The Invention of Lying" before it surely leaves theaters after this week.

And, since at least my Friday is a little better with a little "Damned United," here's a four-minute-or-so clip from the flick of Brian Clough's first day on the job at Leeds. Enjoy, and catch this if you can. Peace out.

Take a free listen to the "Where the Wild Things Are" soundtrack

You know, I guess I shouldn't be terribly surprised that the Coen brothers' newest flick, "A Serious Man," isn't opening anywhere near my little corner of the world this week (not counting a 90-minute drive to Atlanta, which just really isn't in the cards.)

Even though the new flick is apparently a very black comedy about Judaism and life featuring no stars to mention (though I really like that Richard Kind), I was still hoping that the brothers' sway as filmmakers would be enough to get a pretty wide release, but I was mistaken once again.

Oh well. Even so, this is still a pretty good week for movies, with Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page's "Whip It" and Ricky Gervais' "The Invention of Lying" opening everywhere, plus, though I don't think I'll bother to sit through this, a 3-D double feature of both "Toy Story" movies.

And two weeks after that, just in case you've never been here and heard me constantly obsessing about this one, Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are" opens everywhere, and you can listen to the entire soundtrack by Karen O (of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) and the Kids, courtesy of Imeem.com and right here in the sideboard of this very blog (I'm really not too much for widgets, so Barack Obama and this soundtrack are the only two things to get that honor.)

The soundtrack, as I'd imagine the movie will be, is an odd affair, and took a few listens to grow on me, but it's pretty addictive once you adapt to it. Be warned: The Kids are indeed just that, and they sing, wail and howl throughout the soundtrack. I really thought that would have no appeal to me, but it certainly fits the spirit of the story.

The songs range wildly in emotion from the wrath of "Capsize" to the elation of "All is Love" (the first single, which I dismissed on first listen, but have grown to enjoy quite a bit) and of course, in the middle, a rumpus to start. Click the widget just to your right and give it a listen.

And, also fitting the spirit of the movie and the music, We Love You So, the "Where the Wild Things Are" production blog of sorts, has been running a Where the Wild Things Ought to Be contest that has produced some very funny results. Here are my two favorites, but it's well worth checking out a slide show of them all and much more here. Peace out.

Is this, indeed, the single worst movie weekend of the year?

You know, I finally got around to watching the series premiere of ABC's "Flash Forward" last night, and it was excellent. It certainly was annoying how fast everyone seemed to figure out what had happened to them, but it has several potentially interesting stories going forward along with the big mystery.

"Dollhouse," also, was much improved over last year, and with Salisbury, Md., native and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" vet Alexis Denisof most likely the big bad this year, I'm definitely gonna keep watching. Here today, however, its not about TV, but about just how wretchedly bad this weekend's slate of movies is out here in wide release land.

In my actual paying job, I lay out the Friday entertainment section each week for The Telegraph, and I usually look for the movie reviews on Tuesday afternoon. That early in the week usually means Roger Moore of the Orlando Sentinel, since he works faster than anyone else we have access to, and that's just fine with me, because he's really good.

This week, however, I waited until midday Wednesday, and still, none of the three movies opening this week - "Fame," "Pandorum" or "Surrogates" - had been reviewed. Never a good sign, and only the second time this year we had to go with no reviews (the other one is listed below.)

So, does that make this the single worst movie of the year? Well, it's gotta be close, at least in the category of offering movies I have any interest in seeing. From what I've now heard, "Fame" - even if you, like me, generally like musicals - is nothing but bland, "Surrogates" gives away all its mystery in the opening act and, as for "Pandorum," I've still heard nothing at all about that one.

It all got me to thinking, and though this is quite far from a scientific study, here are my nominees for the six worst movie weekends so far this year, in only chronological order, but I'll crown a winner at the end.

Jan. 9:
"Bride Wars"
"Not Easily Broken"
"The Unborn"

"Bride Wars" just looked like a thoroughly hateful little piece of junk, and I take my Tyler Perry straight up, not cloned, so it was easy to just say no to this weekend.

Jan. 23:
"Inkheart"
"Underworld: The Rise of the Lycans"

Having barely managed to sit through the latest "Mummy" installment I just couldn't take any Brendan Fraser family fare, and I just have no idea what a Lycan is, so couldn't see jumping into the "Underworld" realm at this point.

Feb. 27:
"Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience"
"Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li"

This was the only other weekend of the year when nothing got reviewed in advance, and I can see why. I've made it this far in life without seeing any movies based on video games, and I think I can keep that streak going just fine, thank you.

March 13:
"The Last House on the Left"
"Miss March"
"Race to Witch Mountain"

I haven't been able to smell what the Rock's been cooking on the big screen for - well - just about ever.

July 24:
"G-Force"
"Orphan"
"The Ugly Truth"

I know I'm just not the audience for "G-Force," which made a ton of money with the kiddies, but I just can't stand to even look at Katherine Heigl at this point, even though she is a stunningly beautiful woman. I did, however, enjoy seeing all the histrionics about making an orphan the villain in a silly little "horror" movie.

And finally, this weekend.

And the winner is: Feb. 27, with Street Fighter and the Jonas Brothers, though this weekend was certainly in the running.

Take heart, however, because good things are surely on the way. Next week we get both Drew Barrymore's "Whip It," starring young Ellen Page, and Ricky Gervais' "The Invention of Lying." (By the way, I hear tell that Gervais made the big "lie" for his flick the existence of God, so it should be fun to see just how that goes down.) And two weeks after that, the big one for me, Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are," which I think I'll actually drive to Atlanta to watch in glorious Imax.

And this weekend? I still can't decide if I'll take a chance on "Jennifer's Body" or not, but I do know that at some point, I'll be watching Spike Lee's "Passing Strange," which is available on my cable box on demand. A good Spike Lee movie? It's been a while, so I'm really looking forward to this one. Please feel free to let me know if any of the movies I've dismissed without seeing them above are actually any good, and have a great weekend. Peace out.

P.S.: I really don't have much of a taste for apocalyptic movies, but I used to really love the Hughes Brothers, so wish them nothing but success with "The Book of Eli," their upcoming return to the big screen after a very long time off. Here's the second trailer for the flick, which stars Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman and Mila Kunis, and is set to come out in January.

Just how long can "Watchmen" really get?

You know, I think I'm almost alone here, but I almost unconditionally loved what Zack Snyder did with "Watchmen".

Now, of course, there are always going to be complaints from fans of the funny book by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons about what was left out, and it seem that Snyder has now taken just about all of those complaints to heart.

After a director's cut, which I bought, that clocks in at a you-would-think-long-enough 178 minutes or so, he's now about to release "Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut" on Nov. 3, which will run for what you would have to hope would be an exhaustive 3 hours and 35 minutes. Whew.

I'm not enough of a sucker to buy this again, especially since my company is offering us furloughs as the latest incentive to keep working there, but I do think I'll at least rent it, because it does seem to be just about as close to the graphic novel on screen in its entirety as we're gonna get (though I know I'm being naive here, and there will surely be an "Ultimate, Ultimate" edition coming sometime soon.)

In this new version, "Tales of the Black Freighter" will be interwoven into the movie, as it should be, but Hollis Mason's autobiography, "Under the Hood," will only be available as a standalone extra. Perhaps coolest of all in the extras will the entire motion comic, which I'd really like to see.

Anyways, call me a sucker if you want, but I think I can spare three-and-a-half-hours or so of my life for what has apparently turned into "Watchmen: The Miniseries".

Two doses of "News of the Weird"

With apologies to Chuck Shepherd, whose News of the Weird we publish most Fridays in the Telegraph, as far as movie news of sorts it doesn't get much weirder than these next two tidbits.

After, and I never would have guessed there were this many, FOUR direct-to-DVD sequels, it seems that "Bring It On" is about to get yet another life on stage as a musical. And no, I'm not making that up.

Now, I will admit that I'm a big fan of the original with Kirsten Dunst, Gabrielle Union and Eliza Dushku, and I've even sat through most of some kind of sequel with both Hayden Panettiere and Beyonce's sister in it on a Saturday afternoon, but I can't imagine any scenario in which I'd pay Broadway prices for another dose. However, if a touring company brings this to Macon's Opera House someday, I have to admit I'd at least be curious.

And in possibly even odder news, Werner Herzog, whose most recent flick was a new take on Abel Ferrera's "Bad Lieutenant" (because Lord knows the world needed that), is now offering classes in "guerilla filmmaking" for $1,450 a weekend.

If I somehow had $1,450 to blow through and was in Los Angeles from Jan. 8-10, I actually bet this would be a lot of fun, especially since he's describing it with typical bravado:

"The Rogue Film School is not for the faint-hearted; it is for those who have travelled on foot, who have worked as bouncers in sex clubs or as wardens in a lunatic asylum, for those who are willing to learn about lock-picking or forging shooting permits in countries not favoring their projects. In short: it is for those who have a sense for poetry. For those who are pilgrims. For those who can tell a story to four-year-old children and hold their attention. For those who have a fire burning within. For those who have a dream."

The beginning of the end for Jay Leno?

Actually, I'm well aware that he's probably indestructible at this point, but it's still interesting to see how he fared with the key 18-49 demographic on Monday night, one week after his big debut. Here are the numbers:

6.5 House
4.6 Big Bang Theory
4.4 Two and a Half Men
4.3 CSI Miami
4.1 Dancing With The Stars
3.5 How I Met Your Mother
3.2 Accidentally On Purpose
2.7 Heroes
2.3 Castle
1.8 The Jay Leno Show
1.2 One Tree Hill
1.1 Gossip Girl

Now, I will admit that I watch "Gossip Girl" as exactly the kind of mindless fluff I need on a Monday night, so I certainly think it's great that Jay not only finished dead last among the shows from the big four networks, but also just barely managed to beat the CW's two offerings. Predictably pathetic. Please keep tuning out!

Fincher's "Facebook" takes shape

Most of this was already pretty well known, I think, but Columbia Pictures has now confirmed the cast for David Fincher's flick "The Social Network," written by Aaron Sorkin and based on the rise of Facebook (which I'm on, somehow.)

In the principal cast, Jesse Eisenberg will play Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, Justin Timberlake will play Napster co-founder and Facebook founding president Sean Parker, and someone I've never heard of named Andrew Garfield will play Eduardo Saverin, the Facebook co-founder who fell out with Zuckerberg over money.

Why should anyone care about any of this? Well, I find the subject kind of fascinating, and I've been rewatching a lot of "Sports Night" lately, which is proof that Aaron Sorkin is an extremely witty guy when he gets things right (and, in its own little way, I think "Sports Night" just might be better than "The West Wing" - blasphemy, I know.)

Steve Coogan alert

I normally wouldn't care one lick about any early news about a Will Ferrell/Adam Mckay comedy, but when you cast Steve Coogan, who would certainly have to be in the discussion if you were actually to try and pick the funniest man on Earth, you've got my ear.

Actually, the whole premise of "The Other Guys" sounds pretty funny. The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson will play supercops who constantly show up a pair of bumbling co-workers to be played by Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. I wasn't sold, however, until I saw that the great Mr. Coogan has been cast as the arch villain of the piece.

For the best doses of Coogan I can recommend on DVD, try "24-Hour Party People" and "Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story."

Has Diablo Cody lost "it"?

Now, I'm really not someone to kick people when their down (except for maybe Jay Leno), and I admittedly haven't yet seen "Jennifer's Body" (and I'm not sure I will), but if this really is Diablo Cody's next writing project I think the "Juno" scribe has really hit a wall.

It seems she's not set her sights on "Sweet Valley High," the series of novels about (and I'm going on what the trades say here, not having actually read any of them) a set of identical twins "with dissimilar personalities - the sensitive and practical Elizabeth and the flighty and boy-crazy Jessica - in the fictional town of Sweet Valley."

My God does that sound awful, so if you made it this far you certainly deserve a reward. Ricky Gervais' new film, "The Invention of Lying," doesn't open until next week, unfortunately, but here's an odd bit of marketing that only he could come up with. This clip is seven minutes long (and this is only part one), but I guarantee that if you let it get started for a couple of minutes you'll laugh out loud as Gervais' comedy compadre and punching bag Karl Pilkington tries to first review the flick and then offers his rather unique ideas for marketing it. Enjoy, and have a perfectly passable Wednesday. Peace out.

Yes, I'll watch Ricky Gervais do ... well, just about anything

You know, I haven't been to a Broadway show in many years, but if I were to go wild and spring for one now it would certainly be what Julie Taymor is cooking up.

The stager of "The Lion King" has been working for some time now on a musical "Spider-Man," an idea so crazy that it should almost certainly work. And now she's got two of the main players from among her regulars.

Even Rachel Wood will play Spidey's paramour Mary Jane Watson, and the great Alan Cumming will play Norman Osborn/the Green Goblin. No word yet on who will play the webcrawler himself.

And, as a final word on all that, a formal apology from me to Ms. Taymor: I avoided seeing "Across the Universe" in theaters because it just looked like such a mess, but as happens what seems more and more every day, I was once again wrong. Yes, it's hippy, dippy and trippy, but it's also a heck of a lot of fun, so I'd definitely recommend a rental if you've never seen it.

And from here on out today, it's all about funny, and two flicks I'm certainly looking forward to.

Somewhere out in the desert of New Mexico (or maybe old Mexico, it's hard to tell), veryfunnymen Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have been working on something called "Paul," and it looks like just my kind of thing. Directed by Greg Mottola, whose last two flicks, "Superbad" and "Adventureland," have just been fantastic in my book, it's an American road movie starring the two of them and an alien they somehow manage to pick up at Area 51 on their way to ComicCon.

And now it's got a Web site you can check out here. It's pretty primitive so far, with only three videos and two collections of flicker pics, but it's still worth checking out and will surely get much better soon. If you visit, among the many things you'll learn is that the flick is set to feature Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader and Joe Lo Truglio, among other funny folks, so keep your eyes on this one.

But the main event here today is the trailer for Ricky Gervais' fall flick, now titled "The Invention of Lying," which he co-wrote and co-directed with Matthew Robinson. It kind of looks like the most generic sort of romantic comedy, but since it's Gervais, I'm still betting it will bring the funny.

If I can make one more video recommendation, although just about no one in the world bothered to see it, "Ghost Town" is just a thoroughly entertaining little flick. Starring Gervais, a charming Tea Leoni and Wiig as a truly maddening doctor, it's well worth a rental too.

And with that, I'm off to enjoy a probably scorching day at Athfest, featuring Bloodkin, Patterson Hood and more, all for free. Enjoy the trailer, and have a great rest of the weekend. Peace out.

Trailers and tidbits

Actually, the best news I could find out there this morning, and it's awfully vague, is that Bryan Fuller has once again left "Heroes"!

Now, I don't really have anything against "Heroes," but I did stop watching it during season two, when they absolutely squandered that potentially great storyline with Hiro in Japan. But Fuller leaving once again has nothing to do with "Heroes" and instead, hopefully, a lot to do soon with some more of the interesting TV that usually springs from his mind.

And to give credit completely where it's due, this quote comes from AICN. Here goes:

"Development was really starting to heat up, And it appears like I may be writing multiple pilots for NBC so that wasn't leaving a ton of room for 'Heroes,' unfortunately."

Now, anyone who bothered to tune in for the whimsical and sometimes wonderful "Pushing Daisies," Fuller's most recent creation for Warner Bros. and ABC, can only be excited about what might come next. Neither the AICN article, Michael Aussiello at Entertainment Tonight or the IMDB had any idea what this might be, but you can believe I'll pass it on as soon as I get any word.

And easily the funniest thing I've come in contact with in the last 24 hours or so is this blog maintained ny Matthew Robinson, the co-writer/co-director, along with Ricky Gervais, of the upcoming flick "The Invention of Lying." Along with tidbits about the movie, you get, in the two most recent posts, "Oh, the maid list" and "Sketch ideas I own," the kind of wildly inappropriate humor ("She must always refer to me as meester") that just makes the workday go by a little faster.

Except for that, today all I really have is a couple of trailers, but they're varying degrees of fascinating. The biggest surprise I heard after Quentin Tarantino's "Inglorious Basterds" (I've given up on checking whether or not I spell that incorrectly correctly) screened at Cannes (after the fact that he finished it at all) was that it really has little to do with the band of Nazi killers that Brad Pitt leads with the ridiculous accent. In this second trailer, we see a lot more of the greater story, which at least in part involves a plot to blow up a moviehouse full of top-ranked Nazis. Enjoy!



This second clip poses, but certainly doesn't answer, what must be a burning question to absolutely no one who bothers to read this, including me: Will I ever see another M. Night Shyamalan movie? The answer is most likely yes, especially since I found his last one, "The Happening," to just be delightfully, deliriously bad in many of the best ways (that scene of Markie Mark singing the Doobie Brothers into a cabin inhabited by aliens, or whatever that crazy movie was about, was just priceless.) Anyways, his next flick will be "The Last Airbender," and as you can see from the teaser trailer below, it just looks like the most generic brand of kung fu. It's actually based on the first season of an animated Nickelodeon show I've never seen, and it somehow stars both Dev Patel of "Slumdog Millionaire" and even veryfunnyman Aasif Mandvi of "The Daily Show." Enjoy, and have a perfectly passable Tuesday. Peace out.