Peace Sign God sent me!

My peace sign from God

It's no secret that I'm a Christian and God is not just a big part of my life. He IS my life.

Some may know I was married for 38 yrs when my husband abandoned me for another woman. This was the biggest shock and most devastating news to me, our children and thousands of people who knew him. People said he was the last person on earth they thought would ever do something like that. I begged, pleaded and cried for a year for him to leave her and since he didn't, I decided I did not want to be with a man who did that to me. I loved him and thought he loved me.

 He just decided he wanted to start living for himself and walked away from everything. I think it was a mid-life crisis but he says it wasn't. I still think it was. Divorce was never even in our vocabulary but after a year, I decided I couldn't live that way, so I did file for divorce. I did not want to be with a man who would do those things to me and even if they broke up, I wasn't going to be his second choice. It has caused so many problems to everyone who knew him. (our family, the church, and our friends) He was their hero. But he's a different person now and lives for someone else, himself. The husband I knew died, and things will never be the same. It's been 4 yrs now and there are after effects that keep me in turmoil. I won't go into detail on my blog, but there are millions of people out there who have gone through what I'm going through and completely understand. I consider myself a widow now, but I don't have good memories, I was abandoned, no life insurance and the rejection is too much to bear sometimes.

The only way I'm still here on this earth is because of God. HE is my strength, HE keeps me going and I've been able to trust and depend on HIM when I didn't think I could go another step. But HOW will I ever be able to trust another man? I am not looking, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I want a partner, a companion, someone I can love who loves me and share life with. I have a lot of love to give but I would never settle for someone unless I knew they were sent to me from God. When I get at my lowest (which is very often) I pray and ask God to give me strength and peace. Usually about 10 minutes later, I have peace.

When I don't dwell on my circumstances, I'm doing ok, but seeing things or hearing things remind me of the worst. And my divorce still isn't over even though I filed 3 yrs ago. So you can imagine why I'm still having to deal with this. I just wish I could go on to the next chapter in my life. He tried to talk to me about reconciliation but I knew he wasn't serious because he hadn't broken up with her yet! That was 2 years ago.

I said all this to say that I often pray for peace, just so I can go on breathing. We had a big storm about 6 wks ago, and a tree in my back yard was split in half and fell to the ground. It wasn't until about a week later that my next door neighbor (sweet sweet Sue) called me over to her yard and said "I want to show you something." She had taken a picture of my fallen tree and said, "Look, it's a peace sign." When I saw that picture it brought tears to my eyes, and I said, "It has to be a sign from God." So look closely at my picture and tell me what you think. My daughter said, "Mom, a peace sign has 3 prongs and that's upside down." She's right, but nobody is going to take that away from me. It's my peace sign from God that everything is going to be ok. Look at the perfect circle. (and it goes all the way around-you just can't see the other side) How could that just be a coincidence?? Let me know what you think!

Flood Damage at my House! How I'm Coping in a Difficult Situation

I just wanted to post about damage at my house due to the heavy rains we've been having this past week. It's been awful and my insurance is not going to cover the damage, since they have declared it flood damage. I'm so upset about that. The picture below was taken after the water was gone. When the water was at it's highest, you could have litterly taken a swim!

Looking down in my garage. I have NO idea where that old Army trunk came from! I think it's from World War I

I haven't been listening to the news, but I've heard that Beavercreek got the worst of the flooding in the Dayton, Oh. area. The other day the front and side streets around my house (on the corner) were under water. It looked like a lake was surrounding my home! Since my garage is underground, and the driveway goes down a hill into the garage, you can imagine what happened. The water had no place else to go, but into my lower level garage. The water was too much for the drain, and my sump pump quit working. What a mess!
The water in my garage was up to the top of my thighs, higher than the top of the metal chair that was sitting upright. A refrigerator that was plugged in and working is on it's side, and I've lost some newer tables and nice lawn chairs. (plus lots of other stuff) To top all that off, my car was in the garage and also flooded. It had to be taken to a carpet place where they could get the water out. My car is still at that shop being dried and cleaned out.

Refrigerator fell on it's side

Since there was so much water, the fire dept. said it was a fire hazard (because of fuel oil and the electric heater being under water) and they had to call the electric company to turn off my power. I was without power for almost 3 days and lost some of the food in my refrigerator and freezer.

Alot of good that WET VAC did me!

I got some other bad news on top of all this, so needless to say, I've been stressed and overwhelmed. I've cried a lot too. I'm also in the middle of packing to move. That's one reason I haven't been posting much on my blog. I'm trying to hang in there but I just wanted anyone interested, to know I haven't abandoned you all! One day, I'll get my head above water!

How I've Been Coping with Trials the Past 3 Years

When we go through trials and negative things that happen in our lives, it's easy to want to give up and say "Why me?" There will always be ups and downs, but knowing that, doesn't always help to ease the stress and mental anguish we go through. If you've gone through similar circumstances that are beyond your control, maybe  reading about my experiences can help you in some way. Below is a list of things that have helped me, since my husband left me for another woman, my house has been foreclosed on, I'm being evicted, my little sister is on Hospice, my mom (at age 89 & 1,000 miles away from me) is trying to recover from another major stroke and other sadness and heartache in my life.

1. There is almost ALWAYS someone else who has it harder than me, and are in a worse situation. I need to be thankful for the good and count my many blessings!

2. I need to be thankful for what I DO have. Don't focus on the things I've lost or I DON'T have.

3. When the mental or emotional pain of my situation overwhelms me, and I feel like I can barely even breath, I try to say, "Can I get through the next minute? Can I get through the next hour? Can I get through the next day?" If I focus on my circumstances and heartache, I fall apart and all I see is doom! So don't focus on anything you can't do ANYTHING about. Just do what you know you CAN do! We all have to have our little pity parties from time to time, but once we get over that, it's energizing to know there are some things we do have control over. Once I get started on the things I CAN do something about, I feel like I'm moving forward, instead of backwards. So take my advice and "Take ONE day at a time!" Try not to worry. As Abraham Lincoln's mother said, "Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere." SO true!

4. Thinking about the bad circumstances or negative things that have happened to you, can eat you up just like a cancer. Don't make yourself sicker than you already are. Stress will make you sick and will also make you feel and look older.

5. If I focus on myself, then I get really down, but if I start focusing on other people and how I can reach out to others who need help, it always makes me feel good and makes me forget about my problems. We will always have problems, but it's the WAY we look at them that makes a difference. Are we going to let our problems defeat us, or are we going to defeat them head on? I have a friend (going through a similar situation) and she said, " I decided I can go through this complaining the whole way, or I can go through it, with a different attitude, and enjoy life! I think that's pure wisdom.

6. Above all, my relationship with God is what makes me have hope in everything. If I didn't have Him to turn to, I'd have nothing. In the worst situation of my life, He has given me joy, strength, hope and peace! It's a "peace that passes ALL understanding."  I really know what that means now. I've lived it, and nobody can take that away from me.  I'm not saying it's fun, but I'm saying you will always have Him to depend on and provide for you. Trying to do right and not retaliate helps my heart to heal. May God bless you too.