Too Many Hats on Too Thin of Ice...

Hey. It's my blog. I can mix metaphors if I want to.

Teacher=

• The stuff people think of when you say teacher. Up in front of a group of teenagers, trying my best to keep them on task, learning, engaged, paying attention, not sleeping, not bored, not poking at each other, off their cell phones...

• Preparing to teach. Reading, researching, making lesson plans, making work sheets and handouts, deconstructing a book or an article, creating review games, creating assessments...

• Assessing student work. Grading quizzes and tests, checking homework for completion and understanding, writing notes on their writing, writing notes on their classwork, inputting grades into a grade book (required by state law to have a hard copy), inputting grades into electronic grade book...

• Calling parents/ guardians. Informing parents that their child is failing/not doing homework/not keeping up with the school reading program/has done something inappropriate in class, getting stuck on the phone with parents who ask silly questions instead of working with me to get their kid back in the game, getting cussed out by other parents.... and, sadly not often enough letting still other parents know that their child is doing wonderfully and it is such a pleasure to have them in class (these calls are usually at Christmas when I make myself make time).

• Keeping track of an entire grade level for school wide reading program. Printing weekly reports, inputting grades, staying in at lunch to create a reading study hall.

• Committee Attendee. Teachers serve on all the committees a school has in place to run said school. It is endless. If you are actually reading the small print and still here I am amazed and will spare you the details of the 3X a week meetings and paper trail of these meetings and implementing all the shit decided on by these committees.

• Recorder of all things in triplicate. In addition to just doing what I do, I need to prove it. I need to have a binder with all my lesson plans, aligned to state standards and school wide initiatives, a binder with notes and data from all those meetings, a data binder of student test scores and other indicators of learning, as well as post in my classroom student work with exemplars and rubrics once a month...

• My own personal assistant. A couple we hang with once asked me why I did not have an assistant to make copies, file, make parent phone calls....this same couple also would complain more than a bit about the costs of public education. The irony eluded them. So I pointed it out.
  

Wife/Mom/One who does the most in the running of the household =
No bulleted list needed here. You all know what this means, then just add a dash of unbloggable goodness and a sprinkle of people who pretend they cannot feed themselves and you have the pretty picture.

Woman Who Tries to Exercise

Woman Who is Attempting to Stay Centered Even if it means getting up at 3-fucking o'clock in the morning, I WILL have my zen time - those one to two hours of meditation, prayer, journaling, yoga, reading, and centering myself have become the standard of my day. And yes, it may not be coming through on this post, which is coming off a bit more bitchy and a lot less tongue in cheek than I had in mind. But if I leave the draft for revising it will probably not make the publish button any time soon.

Business Woman Yes, this is about the home business I started a few months ago and is turning into the THING I LIKE TO DO THE MOST AND YET SOMEHOW IT ALWAYS GETS PUSHED TO THE SIDE WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN AND EVERYONE IS NEEDY.

Blogger Sporadic at best lately...

I am blessed beyond measure to have so many activities in my life, and yet... and yet.

The work from the business I began has captured my heart and attention. Meeting new people, learning new skills, a chance to create an income I will never see as an educator...

So while the juggling continues (third metaphor for those of you counting), the ball most often dropped is blogging. I have thought about stopping completely, but have decided I would rather be a bad blogger than no blogger at all.

And there you go.

Just for Fun

I went to Zumba with Daughter on Thanksgiving and Friday.

Zumba Jen added a new song and Daughter prepped me by showing me the video ahead of time.



So much fun. I laugh my ass off every time I watch this and I had a smile grinning like a crazy rotting Jock O' Lantern through the whole number in class.

Which is saying a lot because I am usually swearing under my breath about what the fuck I was thinking half way through the class when I would like to quit early but all the ladies even older than me are acting like its a cakewalk.

Reach Out and Touch

These are four of the nicest people I know. The dad, Joel, worked with me at Roy's back in the day. His smile was ever present, his laughter came through even on the most stressful of days, and his love for life was contagious.

Kirsten came to work with us at Roy's later. She is one of the coolest women I have ever known. Smart, funny, kind, and compassionate. And a whole lot of fun. One time I managed to slip out of motherly and wifey routines and escape with Kirsten and another friend to Maui for the weekend where we attended a workshop and stayed at a friend's house.

Great times. Absolutely wonderful memories.

******

Kirsten and Joel became best friends before they became serious. Their relationship started off on solid ground and turned into something huge and enduring.

My son was the ring bearer at their wedding. It goes down in my memory as best wedding ever. Everyone stayed until the end, dancing the night away in a hotel ballroom with a view of Waikiki and Diamond Head.

*****

I left Roy's to teach full time.

Kirsten went on to earn her Master's degree in clinical psychology.

Joel went into management.

Kirsten and Joel moved several times as he managed different restaurants. They ended up in Seattle with two beautiful little boys.



A year ago Joel was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer.

Since then, Kirsten and Joel have been fighting hard for his life. He has been in remission and out and in remission again.

Then last week, the doctors told Kirsten if Joel wanted to come home and spend time with his friends and family, now would be the time. His liver cannot take any more chemo. They have been told that hospice might be the best choice right now.

Joel's come home to Hawaii.

We hope and pray for a miracle.

All prayers, visualizations, good wishes, are needed and welcome.

Joel's friends have set up this website to help the family out. Please visit. Offer them your love and prayers and if you can help them out through this most difficult time,

Thank-you.

And tell a friend.



This will be my photo essay for the Spin Cycle this week.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Mark Twain

Well then.

Why is it that my capacity for remembering pretty much each and every conversation with my students is greater than several of the students’ capacity for remembering one sentence that comes out of my mouth?

You’ve been absent more days than you have been here. Here is a list of your missing work. I highlighted the assignments you will need to do in tutoring so I can help you. Please get started on the first one (as I hand it to him) and let me know if you have any questions or need help.

Three minutes later.

Miss. Ahhh. MISS.

Excuse me...

Mrs. Pseudo, I need help.

I get up from my desk and walk over.

What am I supposed to be doing?

The assignment I handed you.

Oh.

Phone conversation with irate mom.

Why does my son have a “0” for not turning in the form for free or reduced lunch?

Because he did not turn it in.

We don’t qualify for free or reduced lunch and there are a zillion forms at the beginning of the year. It takes me all night to fill out the ones he has to turn in. Why should I bother with something that isn’t mandatory?

I totally agree with you on this. Unfortunately, I have to keep a record of each of the zillion forms for every single one of my homeroom students. Otherwise, the front office sends me memos with lists of students I need to hound for those forms. The free or reduced lunch one is important as the powers that be use them for the data on the percentage of disadvantaged kids. The points are a way for me track if and when each form comes in. Besides,the points for that form don’t count for real. I told your son that.

Irony.

Whole chunks of my memory (I think it was good stuff too like names of cool people and random encounters) have gone missing to make room for the 10,000 conversations I have daily with students, parents, colleagues, and administrators.

Not Quite There Yet

Spring Break was helpful.

I had been running behind on all things life to the point that the mere uttering of phrases like, “did you remember to,” or “if you have time could you,” or, God forbid, “I neeeeeed you to….” could cause an instantaneous panic attack.

But I digress.

Over Spring Break I graded EVERYTHING. And inputted the grades.

Yeah Baby.

I prepped the three classes I teach for 4th quarter. First two weeks in detail, mapped out the rest.

Fucking righteous.

I caught up on the paper trail of accountability and data analysis that lets the school/state/ whatevers know what I am doing in my classroom. In triplicate.

In your face.

I also carved out an inch of space for me time. A hike. An afternoon with a friend. A book and some gratuitous television watching.

I wish it had been two weeks, but I was ready.

So, last week Monday, I set my alarm at 3 AM, did my morning rituals (not blogging anymore, but nice stuff nonetheless), and got ready for work.

A little bit of make-up.

Check.

Bus money in my pocket?

Check.

Lunch and water in the backpack?

Check and double check.

I was READY.

BRING IT!

At 5:45 AM I walked down to the bus stop, climbed on in, deposited my $2.50, took my transfer from the driver and proceeded to talk story with him a bit as I am the first stop of his route.

He seemed a bit different, but I figured he was picking up on my “Don’t I have my Shit together” vibe.

As the bus moved its way through the dark and then the dawn, I noticed that most people boarding had an extra smile for me. Odd.

Yet, maybe it was a sign that when one is ready to take on the world, the world notices one.

I smiled back.

Before I knew it, I was at my transfer point.

Two kids from the school where I work were also there, as usual. Sweet, yet mischievous boys. I always enjoyed waiting for the next bus with them. The ride up together. The small talk with the young ones.

As I walked over they both stared at me.

And smiled.

Ah, Spring Break had done me well. No more panic attacks or frenzied last minute lesson plans. This was the beginning of the me I used to be before I switched schools.

“Ah…. Ms Psuedo????”

“Yes?”

One of the boys was pointing at his forehead, but looking at me with furrowed brows.

“You have a curler in your hair…”

Ah, well.

There’s always Summer.

Lists are cool, sometimes...

Beach Barrettes
All hand made by my daughter from shells we have collected over the years.

My to do list for Spring Break:

• Grade, grade, grade, input 3rd quarter grades.
• Prep 3 classes for 4th quarter.
• Do the fucking taxes.
• Sit outside for a sunset cocktail most evenings.
• Hike to someplace that reminds me why I am lucky to live in Hawaii.
• Get together with friends.
• Read at least one book that has nothing to do with work.
• Get back to blogging.
• Advertise my daughter's Etsy Store.

I have two more days left on break and this post knocks two of the items off of my list.

The only thing left is the fucking taxes.

Miss you all. I'd say I see a light at the end of a dark tunnel, but don't want to jinx anything.

Hello Again....

OK. What the fuck was THAT?

Truly, I had no intention of staying away from the blog and the blog world for this long...

However. What the fuck was that?

I'd ponder it out here in virtual space, but it is mostly unblogg-a-licious...

Maybe someday. See, it's not really my unbloggable. Well, mostly not mine. There is some mine, as in work related stuff that I am not comfortable putting out here.

And maybe that's the thing. Most of my life that is worth writing about is, for now, unbloggable.

That being said, some totally bloggable events have rocked my world. As in blog friends and blog relationships.

This post is for Tera at Olive Hue Designs. She ran a contest, I am guessing around Christmas because it was before I took my unanticipated leave of all things Internet.

And I won.

And I was a horrid. Because I was so away from the Internet that it took me awhile before I realized I won and even longer to get back to her... some time after that to show my appreciation for winning such an amazing prize.

Tera is an amazing artist. I love her stuff and have been coveting something from her Etsy store for a long time. For my prize I was allowed to pick out something.

I love so many of her pieces, but I knew what it would be. The first time she posted it, I felt like she had snuck into our backyard.
And seen our swing....

This is the amazing artwork that Tera sent me. It is called Polka Dots and Moonbeams.

It is so me.


It's on my dresser for now, soon to be hung on the wall above the dresser.

I love it.

Thank-you Tera.

Please visit Tera's blog or Tera's Etsy store.

XOXO

Pseudo

Preoccupied

The challenges of getting back to a regular blogging schedule are a bit overwhelming.

And that's only if I count things I have to do. Have to as in things for work and daily living. Grading, prepping, going to meetings, showing up... Eating, sleeping, having clean clothes to wear.

Then there are things I like to do. Walking BC. Hanging out with my kids and friends.

Well. I have a new one. Helping daughter with her new thing.

I have bags and bags of shells I have found during the summers when I go snorkeling on the North Shore. We have shells surrounding our candles, bottles of shells in the bathrooms...

Daughter and I went to the craft store and bought stuff to make shell barrettes and refrigerator magnets. So far, I have been so busy with grading and what not, the girl has made all of our inventory.

Most of the barrettes and magnets are wrapped in beautiful little boxes and ready to give to her friends as Christmas gifts.

These are the ones she made today.


The shells are all from our own stash. But we went to the bead store and bought some beach glass and seed pearls.


We are thinking about selling them down the road. What do you think?



This one I'm keeping. I was actually saving that big shell to make a necklace with someday (someday as in the shell has been sitting in my bag for two or three years). But I remember vividly when I found it. I threw a small fit when I saw it glued to a barrette so Daughter kind of had to tell me I could keep it.

Each of these pretties gave me a thrill when I claimed it out of the ocean. The beach we go to has a strong current and to dive down and grab the shell while it is tumbling with the undertow requires both timing and tenacity.

The clam shell came from a bag of shells I moved with me from California. All those other shells are from Hawaii. The two on the outside are made into magnets.


This is a magnet. I might keep it too. Daughter says I cannot keep them all, but I think this one looks like it has a face. The profile is facing you in this shot.

Daughter has also been hand making these gift cards to go with her hand made Christmas gifts.



Can you imagine how behind I will get on the blog when I actually sit down and join her?

Traveling Memory Lane

Partly because I don't have a camera...

Mostly because I have been busy working...

and taking the bus to work because I sold my car this summer....

I thought I'd post a Random Tuesday on Wednesday, but hell, might as well get Thursday up.




It might seem like this blogger is asleep at the wheel...


But the truth is she's trying to hang in there.

Hope to travel with you all though. Any Blogher travels? Summer vacations or staycations?

Link on up...

Spinning Wool, I Mean Words

The Spin Cycle topic this week is words…. Last week it was appearance. Both topics are in my range of interest and ponder possibilities. I looked forward to writing the posts.

But I am having the hardest time carving out my blogging time. My writing time. My computer and Internet time. Since the move these pastimes have fallen off the proverbial cliff. Or rolled down the cliff to a place I cannot get to.

I wish I had the time to really spin this. To reach down into the alleyways and side channels of my mind where words are floating and forming all the time. Where words collide and shift and mesh and come together and fall apart.

Ever read Bee Season? I loved the idea behind the concept of words and their effect and foundations within our minds.

Instead of blogging, for the last six months I have been spending an hour each morning reading spiritual literature and giving meditation a shot. I have not found the mantra that is capable of causing a surcease of thought patterns and words from emanating continuously through my mind. But I make myself give it my best shot each day.

One of these days those utterances, those words, will take me to a peaceful place. I’m counting on it.

So, since I am going with a stream of consciousness type of post and do not have the time to hone and craft and mix and match and come up with a perfectly worded post that gives me a feeling of completeness upon finishing, I am going to finish with the opening paragraph of the novel I am reading right now.

A paragraph so beautiful that it took my breath away the first time I read it.

A paragraph I find so well worded that I have reread it several times and I am only on page 88 of the book.

There is no scatheless rapture. Love and time put me in this condition. I am leaving soon for the Nightland, where all ghosts of men and animals yearn to travel. We’re called to it. I feel it pulling at me, same as everyone else. It is the last unmapped country, and a dark way of getting there. A sorrowful path. And maybe not exactly Paradise at the end. The belief I’ve acquired over a generous and nevertheless inadequate time on earth is that we arrive in the afterlife as broken as when we departed from the world. But, on the other hand, I’ve always enjoyed a journey.

Charles Frazier, Thirteen Moons.

For more wordy spins, head on over to Sprite's Keeper.

Oscars and WTF

I'm heading out in a few minutes to my friend's annual Oscar party. Last year's theme was inspired by the location of Slumdog Millionaire and we all dressed in India inspired outfits. Tonight the theme is supposed to be "Avitar."

Well, one - I have not seen the movie (or any other movie).

Two, I wore my blue shirt to the New Year's Eve party and cannot have two facebook albums with the same outfit.

Three. James Cameron was a fucking duffus at the Golden Globes and I don't care if everyone thinks Avitar is wonderful, I'm not painting myself blue for the likes of him. And if he wins and gets up there and tells me he has to take a piss, I hope someone spits in his drink.

Two years in a row (a couple years back) I won a prize for guessing the most winners. Tonight I have not even heard of most of the movies.

Ah. Well.

Life goes on. Unbloggable and life changes might mess the fuck out of my routines, but new ones are taking shape.

Aloha

Transition

This Weekend

packed nearly the entire kitchen,

work made fun

by my friend coming over to help,

the chatting

making up for the inky, newsprint hands.

Cleaned out and painted two bathrooms....

Our lives

in boxes

organized in the garage

waiting...

for

the next

adventure....

Not Fun

I'm sick. The list grows longer.

Afternoon update. Ah, the list is not of sick bloggers, although there appears to be plenty of us. The list is my "to do" list. Grades, closing out the semester, the holidays, and then there is the whole moving thing. Thank-you everyone for your good wishes.