Maybe I Told You This.....

Once upon a time (1970's) I was a speechwriter for the late Gov. Tom McCall. This does not seem to impress people. Why not? Well, for example, they ask if I wrote this: "Come visit us again and again. This IS a cool, green vacationland. But don't come here to live...."

Isn't that neat? Here is a state governor dis-inviting people to live here. He took a lot of heat from the home folks, but out-of-state people praised him mightily for telling it like it is: Go home and fix up your own pesthole; don't bring it here.

"Did you write that?" I am asked. "No," I say shamefacedly.

So what else did you do?, they ask. Kill babies? Torture rats? I try to go for the laugh scene, and I told them I wrote this: "Once Tom was asked what he thought of the idea of using cow manure to make methane gas, which we then could use to power our cars," I (Tom) wrote. "Great!" I (Tom) agreed. "I'd love to be able to go into the service station and say, 'Shovel 'er up!"

Snicker, chortle, wheeze.....So this guy asks if I wrote the lines about the industry down south (not far enough south -- it was only 23 miles south of the Capitol) that was a well-known air polluter. "That (paper) plant is outrageous. It's a stinking cancer on the broad green bosom of the Willamette Valley." Well, just guess: Did Tom write that, or did I? (You didn't have to guess, did you?)

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When I wasn't writing speeches for the Governor I dreamed about a squirrel obstacle course, which you can now see in person, right here.

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Okay, what's the speed of dark?

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My favorite word today is bored. N., but not like a post-hole. Def.: If you see two people talking and one looks like this, he's the other one.