Nia Ilemor

     It stresses me out that my previous blog posts seem to reek of hopelessness. Oh dear God I swear I am so much livelier in real life haha. Kinda wanna delete them but hey, those are the witnesses of my Khalil Gibran melancholic days. So I'm kinda proud of them and now I have subtle attachment to those feelings as well. Well . . .      Anyway, It's already October. And we're nearing the end of 2017, just to welcome 2018 with (more hope, more melancholy, more heartbreaks, more aspiring goals) *underline relevant answers*      The time does not make sense does it? How can time flies so fast. How can a year passed just like that? End of year is my favourite soliloquy in reverie time. I get to observe how has my life changes within this one year. And oh, I have learnt so much, a lot more, about myself this year as well. I kinda wanna talk about it but it also means risking some vulnerabilities. Since these writings would require an immense level of political correctness,

How many times have you found yourself saying "I'm fine" when there are clearly things that are bothering you? Do you remember what's your default answer to "Is everything okay?" You probably don't because it has been so much ingrained in your brain that it becomes automated. Uttered by your mouth, summoned from the subconscious that you can't even reach. Is your life really as good as how you portray it on Instagram? Do you spend as much time improving your life as how you spend the time editing your photos? Erasing all the flaws. A bit more bright colour on saturation. Get the temperature down a lil if it's too hot to handle (literally speaking no pun intended). And oh, the caption. Don't forget the caption. Do you have enough vocabs to mask your honest thoughts on Twitter to be politically correct, putting a disguise on your fears, decorating your crisis so that they would come across sounding like an article instead of honesty. Pro

Yo so I found a draft of min logged back in 2013. By the look of it this was back in semester 4? I think. "Let's sit down, lepak and talk about life like teenagers do." And we did.      Though life is so tough sometimes, even you are not sure how do you cope with it. But those moments when you are doubtful and full of insecurities in breaking the cycle of normal life, that is actually the time when you would start learning about life. Yes, life is hard. But that doesn't mean that the right thing to do is complain and whine about it. You learn to cope with it and appreciate little things. Like; -A drive to a random place on cloudy days with best friends. -Late night supper date of a drive through of some random fast food restaurant. -A conversation about life at a water fountain, sipping the icy milo and tea, bracing the cold of life. -A random midnight movie trip and ending up having to watch a horrible movie, struggling to preserve our conscie

     I am sure that in some moments in our life, we would have some friends who, when they complain to you about their problems, you just can't seem to make the head or tail of it. I mean, you understand the problem, yes. But you don't understand why do they do, what they do. Ye follow me? I have one friend like that. On some departments in life, we totally see things eye to eye. I mean, in dealing with things in life, I'd like to think that we're pretty rational (except when the decisions are about scrumptious food or cute guys- exceptions). But in some departments, I will just go 'wha-' at this friend's decision. Honest to God, I just can't seem to understand why would she decided as such. Sometimes I feel a bit tired because, it doesn't seem that she's even listening to me. But I know that there are no malicious intention in that for when one is in an enigma, they might need more time to compute things.       When pain is a constant state, t

Oh my God! It's already April :'D      Wrapped up March with 9 books read into the year heheh. Should have been able to read more actually given the free time I am blessed with (Jia You Ain). I am aiming to read 50 books this year. I am not sure if I can do it, but I will definitely try my best as my unreads even go as far as three years back, as in, purchased, and they are in the tsundoku band.      You know, I realized that earlier this year, that I have been a pretty melancholic person along 2016. So as 2017 greeted us, I decided that I'm gonna try catch some upbeat vibes into my life. First off, changing my playlist (check). Next is, to shut down unnecessary overthought thoughts (still working on it, long way to go). Third is, to think of as much of positive thoughts as I can possibly can, this includes not talking about other people (negatively) and lastly, to maintain the little progress I am trying to make in my hablumminallah department (very difficult to mainta

How do you explain pain As you woke up trembling Trying to remember last night's dream That has already escaped your consciousness Leaving you with the heartache you couldn't quite explain Just like when you hear his name passes in the wind

Does anyone still blog even?      2017 is here and it's already March. I am typing this from the comfort of having too much time to waste from being jobless :'D      Anyhow, I finally ventured into school. Still waiting for the posting. Constantly feeling dreadful on the prospect of where would I be posted. Anticipating nothing short of an exciting adventure in teaching (May Allah ease). Some can say that I am pulled in by the vortex of social pressure and succumbed to the fear of uncertainty as I finally applied for the job I vowed to never go into (that was last year). You are probably right but I will never admit it haha. I have so many thoughts I wanna pen down, but this year is the year of controlling my thoughts, and I guess, I would prefer to start on focusing only on positive thoughts. Let the negativity be only whispers picked up by the wind, when the human's senses are lulled  into deep slumber. This is gonna be though, because I, for one thing, like to have d