But alas, that post may never see the light of day.
Tonight, though, my mind overrunneth with words I'd like to share with you. I'd like to share a few thoughts with you this evening about GUILT. Some say it is a useless emotion...but it is strong. It is powerful. It is life altering.
Some of us are more suceptible to guilt than others. Take Catholics for instance. I, personally, am a far cry from Catholic. I have, though, had a plethora of Catholic friends during my life. One thing I've observed that they all seem to have shared is their intense feelings of GUILT.
I ask you, HOW CAN THEY NOT struggle with this??? The emotion seems to be a building block in the foundation of the religion. Hello?...CONFESSION? PURGATORY? The very structure of the religion lends itself to creating a population of guilt-sufferers.
I, on the other hand, am apparently just one of the lucky few who are genetically predisposed to suffer from this so-called "useless emotion". Take, for instance, my dinner this evening.
I've been making an effort to cook more dinners during the week. I'm resolved to cutting the cord that binds my family to the convenient, yet unhealthy, fast food options that surround us. As a cook, however, I bore easily. I seldom make the same recipe more than twice, excepting a small selection of favorites. I'm also trying to force encourage Fire Daddy and my little princesses to like fish. So, this weekend, I dug deep into my memory and culinary "expertise" and decided I'd grill some teriyaki swordfish, with a side of Asian style rice and vegetables. Sounds yummy, right?
Until I found myself thinking about the sustainable seafood guides I'd seen recently....and Happy Feet...and Earth...and I began to wonder how my dinner rated on the "eco-friendly" scale.
Turns out, according to the Monterey Bay Aquarium's seafood guide, chances were 4 out of 5 that my fish was at least OK -- environmentally speaking. I felt the need to air my own dirty laundry, though, so I made this tweet on twitter on my lunch hour.
All I wanted to do was air my guilt, right? Confess and you shall be forgiven. I'll learn from my mistakes and do better next time. My "Cyber Cuz" thought differently.
He proceded to send me a virtual barrage of guilt-inducing tweets in reply to my pitiful plea for forgiveness and understanding. One tweet even included this link, which I proceded to watch and become even more depressed as a result of my own, self-inflicted guilt and the unexpected discovery that orange roughy is has also been black balled in the world of seafood.
Gee. Thanks, Cuz. I totally appreciate your furthering my guilt. Got it. Lesson learned. I know I should be thanking you for educating me (thanks, really...no joking), because I did learn something, but can I just tell you (and everyone else reading this) that the stinkin' fish didn't even taste good!?
Before I got home this evening, I thought about tossing it - scrapping my dinner plans (especially after I read about the mercury risks...Did you know it's recommended that women and children do not eat swordfish at all and men eat it only a maximum of once per month??) and coming up with a more Ecologically Correct "Plan B" for dinner (a.k.a. leftovers).
That is, until I thought of all the starving people in this world....(I would say China or Africa or somewhere else like that, but then I feel guilty for overlooking the poverty issue in the United States) and I decided I'd better not waste it. The damage was already done, right?
Ha! Our fish this evening was palatable at best.
We ate it.
It sustained our life for a little longer.
But, let me confess: I, for one, did not enjoy it.
...And I'm not even Catholic.
