Posts
- Going out a lot and having tons of activities throughout the week... will take a toll on me. By the end of the week, I ended up to be the best zombie ever and perhaps even a little autistic. I did not want to do anything, talk to anyone, and going out makes me impatient. Listening to people's stories makes me impatient and want to go off soon. Next time, a good sleep, good rest, and some time alone is what I need to have after a long, crazy week.
- I can drive around and find a place without relying on GPS. Hopefully, this will encourage development of my spatial skills and my sense of direction.
- Never, ever sleep with a full stomach. When I woke, I looked like 5 months pregnant.
- Doesn't hurt to learn a little bit of femininity and hairstyles does make quite a bit of difference. Self-esteem is boosted, which leads to boosted moods, which leads to a smiling face.
- To understand that sometimes, another person's extreme behaviours, may be cause of stress. Yeah, it could be wrong, disgusting, out of the ordinary, but in the end the environment and crowd is the only thing the person could turn to when he or she has nothing or no one else. If only I can help take it away...
- Enjoying simple things like window shopping and experimenting with sights, sounds and smell is a really nice mood booster too. It's a plus when someone else is there to enjoy it with you.
- When you really feel too tired to socialize, it's just time to go. Make the initiative to say, "Guys, I gotta go. Sorry." Who cares about their long faces? Your health is more important.
- You cannot let other (rude) people spoil your morning, especially when you are in church. I did feel a little pissed off, but the good thing was to walk away instead of fighting.
- With certain people, the larger the crowd, the better the outing experience. Accepting other people to just slip into your plans is sometimes a blessing and an added fun.
- Good breakfast is a good mood booster.
- Laughter still remains the best medicine.
- When you're upset, do not show it. Pretend to be happy. Eventually, you will be happy. It's no use bringing other people's moods down, especially with large crowd (But allow certain very, very tiny outlets for satisfaction).
- You have no control over another person's life no matter how much you do not want it to deteriorate or spoil. Best you can do is just to be there when they need it. Offer a calm, quiet support. Sometimes in these situations, it's all you can afford to give.
- The potential to do a last minute good looking hairstyle is awesome. Creativity is the asset.
- The importance of taking loan and avoiding high taxes.
- The benefits of taking risks, but with logical thinking (for me, this part may need some work)
- Gambling is for entertainment purposes. Mindset needs to be set to- there's a budget, and do not expect returns. Be prepared to lose all. It's mainly about luck and not being stupid.
- Money is purely a tool. You gain it, you lose it and you gain it back. It is so much easier to control it when it's viewed as a game. Also, being generous with it makes this view even more possible. Never be afraid of having no money. There will always be a way.
- Benefits of buying things (e.g. cars) under company name.
- Being rich means inviting other parties to watch you. If you want a luxurious life (e.g expensive property, awesome cars), be prepared to be targeted by the government, the bank, the thieves. Or, be rich, live life as a normal, middle classed citizen and spend money elsewhere (e.g. travelling, education, food). Mmm... the latter sounds good.
- Learning Cantonese: just continue asking, "What does _________ mean?". Doesn't matter if you eventually annoy the heck out of people.
- Be not afraid of wearing more bright coloured clothings. Polka dots, sequins and colours that are almost neon are a must!
- Knowledge, knowledge, knowledge in both spiritual and the world. I shall not have a stunted mental growth.
- Action, action, action. Knowledge is useless if it lies there in the brain without anything done with it.
- Aim for a money worthy car. Remind self that owning a high end car is not really the priority right now. There are other things to do with that extra cash.
- Organizing and planning skills. Being less indecisive and careless would help save a lot of time.
- Save the heart for someone who really matter, but it doesn't mean pushing people away.
- Trusting my intuition on people instead of other people's perspective. Most of the time people tell me this and that about the other person when my intuition tells me otherwise. In most cases, my intuition turns out right. Learning to trust my own judgement is definitely something that needs work.
- Health and Sleep. I have neglected you in 2012, I will try my best to treat you better in 2013.
- Do something about my boring hair.
- Finish what I started years ago. Ideas and writing shall not go to waste.
- As always, the best way to welcome in Christmas (or any other special day), is with laughs.
- Getting to know new people, their opinions and the way they take life is a good part of learning about life. Whether they are extremely quiet, noisy or in between, they each have something to teach you, big or small.
- No matter how much you are hurting with your own misfortunes, there are other people whom are experiencing worse. In comparison, your misfortunes will look like petty complaints.
- Seeing someone, who is depressed and stressed out on a supposedly beautiful day is sad. Seeing them light up with laughter and joy when they are with you or around you is a really blessed thing to feel and experience.
- Drowning in all your sorrows will only make you come to depreciate Christmas now and in the coming future. It is a beautiful, meaningful day and we should preserve it.
- Being drunk on Christmas time does not equate to a Christmas time well spent.
- Spending time with people that matter and spreading love and cheer does.
- I want a baby grand piano in my house too.
- Once you feel lonely, take a good look around and see that there are people who sincerely care for you. The only thing you should be feeling is gratitude.
- Although there was no family to spend Christmas time with, friends became family and you can find a similar kind of happiness there.
Is bullshit.
Not now. I'm just not ready.
I keep wanting to turn back. Can't tell if I'm being stupid.
Jokes we make together can actually hurt sometimes. I pretend the hurt isn't there, but it dangles itself in front of me and laughs because it knows I can't reach out to it and swipe it away.
Then sometimes, there's this look he gives me. I don't understand. I have lost the ability to read his facial expressions. That long stare, with no smiles. Was he missing me or was he just wondering if I was coping well?
And people said I look strong or that I seem to be coping well. I've successfully fooled them. It was just me putting back the bricks of my defences, one by one, only to hide inside that fort to just curl up and shut my eyes real tight when a canon hits.
Being friends with an ex feels like the story isn't over yet. Like when one fantastic blockbuster movie comes out and people anticipate a sequel. Then the waiting game. Will or will not there be a sequel?
It was 8:30p.m. Around the dinner table sat my mother, my sister and me. We were having a simple meal, nothing much, just rice, egg and stir-fried baby long beans which my mother had cooked. It was a Sunday night and normally people would be out eating, but it was a relaxing one at home with just the three of us and no fussy requests, a simple meal to fill our stomachs was set on the table.
“Did you cook this?” I asked my mother as I chewed on the vegetables.
She nodded. “Yeah, why? It tastes different?”
“There’s a difference between Mama’s veggie and other people’s veggie.” I replied, to which my sister nodded and smiled in agreement.
The taste of the food that filled my mouth, into my taste buds was something that I missed very much. It brought nostalgia to me, bringing me back to the time when my whole family were still together, having my mother’s home cooked meal together as a family every day and night. It was a routine my parents had implemented; all members who are home, eat meals together at the same time.
In the present, normally my mother would not cook as a house-maid was employed lighten my mother’s burden. For two to three years, my mother had not cooked much. It was very rare if she did. Tasting her cooking again on that Sunday night made me realise how time had passed since I last enjoyed her cooking. So much has happened with promises of much more happening and I feel like I have not got the time to slow down.
My mother, the person who had cared for me and had once cooked meals every day for the family is no longer as young as I perceive her to be. One moment she was 40 and now she is already 60. This night has made me realise how much I took her for granted. Her kindness, her worries for me, her cooking, her sacrifices and the times she kept quiet when my bitter words and actions hurt her… all of them I took from her and then went about my business, thinking that I would have them for a long, long time. However, the fact is it won’t be long before it all stops. One day soon, she would have to leave this earth. All of us could die anytime. We could die tomorrow, or the day after, or the next week, or even years later. But despite the length of time, when a person goes, or when something stops, we would feel as if it was so sudden and time had passed so fast.
Like fine sand that you hold in your hand, first you have a tight handful, but then it would slip through your fingers, running until you’re left with just the residue that sticks to your palm. On the event that my mother goes, I don’t want to experience the death and then suddenly realise that I have missed the chance to get to know her or appreciate her or show her I love her or make her proud. I don’t want to realise that I’ve forgotten to say sorry for the times I’ve caused her pain or have no time to help her out when she needed me. Or when she would tell me things that I think was empty only to realise they were things I wish I would have paid more attention to. I don’t want to be left with that residue when everything is gone.
This was the mistake I have made with my father; remembering all the bad qualities about him, but failing to remember all the good ones that came together until it was too late. Going through the same mistake again with my mother would definitely be a shame on me. My mistake, my loss.
Mother, you are important to me and I love you.
The One. What does that even mean? The right person who completes your physical needs? The right person who completes your every whim? Or the one person who seems to (scarily) know you inside and out like a twin? If the person spoils me to death, bringing me happiness every step of the way, is he the one?
I thought that there was a sure answer to this, but then I found out it’s too subjective. Reason being is that when life condition changes, your criterions for “The One” changes as well. For example, now I can be thinking that “The One” needs to be tall, buff, handsome, understanding, sweet, etc. etc. Later, as these qualities become less important to me, I would want someone whom I simply can share my life with (I know, too general. Joanna, please be more specific).
So I spent a little time reflecting, what does “The One” mean to me generally? Surely there are patterns throughout my life that I look for the most. Maybe I have not made enough mistakes to truly know and point to a person saying, “He’s the one.” Or maybe finding Mr. Right, is not really as important right now. I guess I may just be waiting for him to fall from the sky and give me an epiphany.
Regardless of the many variables that may constitute my “The One”, here is what I think “The One” is:
He’s “The One” when I don’t need to pretend I am someone else.
He’s “The One” when he respects me and I respect him.
He’s “The One” when he knows my weakness and accepts me. Better yet, try to help me become better.
He’s “The One” when there’s still things I can learn about him.
He’s “The One” when there’s nothing more to learn about him, that I continue to love him.
He’s “The One” when he loves me and continues to love me no matter what happens.
He’s “The One” when I can accept and live with his weaknesses.
He’s “The One” when we learn things in life together.
He’s “The One” when he just is.
Screw requirements, screw check lists for future husbands. If we love each other, we will surely work to improve ourselves for each other. We will surely change for the other person, although it may take some tears, some arguments, some time and some heartache. In fact, why are we making things so complicated? The term of “The One”? What, do we think that the perfect person that we think we can spend the rest of our lives with, the one that we’ve built in our heads will just fall on our lap, custom made?
In reality, “The One” does not exist. No matter perfect you think the person is, he/she will always have this weakness that you will eventually come to dislike. Oh, he’s so messy. Oh, he’s not treating my mother well. What the hell, doesn’t he know how to care for the baby? Why can’t he help with the house chores? He’s not taking me seriously anymore! He’s so boring, we used to have a lot of fun. Crap, he doesn’t have enough money. He can’t drive me around, he doesn’t understand me, he thinks I’m fat, ZOMG he’s flirting with that GIRL! etc. etc. And then, if things don’t get talked out or solved soon enough, we eventually stop loving.
That’s our conditional love, dear humans. If the other party don’t give us what we want or meet up to our expectations, we stop loving. Fights happen, break ups happen, and divorces happen. “The One” that you so happily married, ended up being “The Zero”. Loser. But really, is it 100% the other party’s fault? Hmm…
If you think you’ve found “The One”- perfect person you can’t even believe you have him/her, well, good for you! I sincerely wish you happiness in the years to come with each other, proving skeptics that love can lasts “’til death do us part” and that perfect people really do exist- or that you just found a way to handle weaknesses and negativity from your partner.
Commitment and Faith is all you need (and other subcategories in between). That’s “The One” for me.
Note: Double post! Wut? Also overdue 
How is it that time passed so fast? Was it because of the partying or the constant not-being-at-home? I was supposed to finish composing my short story during the holidays but it never got finished due to my lack of discipline and love for procrastination. Now holidays are almost over and I’m finding myself getting nervous everyday, anticipating my results for last semester (which I predict will be bad or very, very bad).
On another note, I noticed that people has been writing down what they’ve done in 2010 and what they wish to be done in 2011. I thought it would be fun to do the same, but changed my mind because that’s just plagiarizing in some way (don’t want to do it now) and also I cannot remember much of what happened in 2010… okay, I’m lying. I’m too lazy to think back.
I am sure many things happened between 2010 and 2011, good and bad. I need to remember to learn from the bad parts and throw them away. The good parts, I hope I keep them. I’m not about to make a list of resolutions, simply because:
1) I am never good with following listed goals.
2) Because of #1, my resolutions always fail.
3) Pointless.
However, I do want to send out a message to the people whom had a significant impact in my life. These people are my family, my high school friends, my Psycho Family, my yam cha friends, my used to be admirers, my online friends, my exes, my besties, my Goat and my guinea pigs and ex-dogs (who say pets don’t understand, hah?). Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for making my life more colourful than it is. Though there are times when we exchanged negative feelings, motive of caring and of love is always there. Life wouldn’t be the same without you bunch of people. I hope the 2011 will bring you more blessings and improvement in yourself and things around you. Piece of advice is to not trust fortune tellers, horoscopes, palm readers and all those sorts. They do not make your life, you won’t get rich if you just wait for it and you won’t get bad luck if you’re careful with what you do. Don’t ever go to read them or find out anything, because once they get in your head, it will directly or indirectly affect the way you live your life and therefore in the end, it happens. All the best!
Huggies! <3
Just a slight intermission between updates. Just so I can have a chance to blab out stupid insecurities, nonsensical ideas, and probably some disturbing facts. This won’t be anything else but rants and complaints. Okay so here goes.
I believe I might be close to a panic attack or a break down. Not the metaphorical, imaginative ones everyone talks about in times of stress and they are just saying it to relieve themselves, but the real one. You know, the one where you actually have physical symptoms and need some sort of technique or clinical help to calm you down?
I feel like I am so screwed right now. About a week from now, on the 29th of November 2010, final exams will be here. I have over 4 subjects to cover with about, I think, 12-14 chapters each and tons of journals to read through. I had started studying on the 2nd week of November, fooled around a bit (quite an understatement), and oh lookie, happy me, covered only 1 topic of 1 subject. I haven’t done any other. And oh goodness, the journal that I am reading right now never seems to end! Why can’t researchers just bloody get to the point?!
Every time I take a short break from reading or to do something (like what I am doing now), I feel like there’s this sense of impending doom. I’m doomed. I have this little stress that I carry in my head throughout the whole entire day and it doesn’t go away.
The worse is that after resting a little bit, when I look at the books, I feel like I just want to quit. I want to stop studying, stop working (which I will be doing later tonight), just stop everything and lie down and do nothing. Yup, nothing. I. am. so. tired. Geez, and classes keep going on even if lectures are over. Lecturers, PLEASE GIVE US A BREAK!
I am really not looking forward to 29th November, even if it meant exams are here and it will be over soon so that I can enjoy myself, because I am not ready. I feel like I’m the most not-ready-for-exam-student among all my friends (whom seem to be doing very well with their studying so far). I want a hug, I want to procrastinate longer, and I want everything that doesn’t deal with freaking finals.
And here I thought this would be a short post. Alright, time to go.
Granny/Nana/Nanny Vanessa
She's the oldest (according to family rank), the most long winded, most detailed, most "ma fan" person I know. Also, she likes to over use quotation marks. Leave them alone, Vanessa!
Relax, granny, relax.
She's really cheerful and bubbly. Her laugh is contagious. It sounds like a wicked witch, but nicer. There's this one time when I was feeling really low to the pits. I checked my mail and there's this mail of hers with a link to her blog(!only those with researching background may attempt to read her blog!). It cracked me up and made me laugh. So thank you, Granny, for that bit of insanity and laughter. Besides her insanity, I do think she gives good advice as well. I've seen her in action. Therefore, find granny when you need some opinions; she's got loads.
Uncle Ian
He's granny's first son. He's the uncle that splurge and brings back stuff from China for the whole family. He talks a lot and have the most questions next to granny in lectures. He likes pretty and sexy chicks only (ahem, ahem). Just joking (= He likes all women.
Opps, did I flip the pancake too hard?
Did I tell you he likes cooking and designing? What a great uncle! Due to three particularly horrible incidents, some of us had to remind him during an exam, "Check your pockets!". He's always offering to get things for us when he goes China. One time he gave me a pocket mirror for my birthday because in class I was looking for a mirror. Thank you, uncle, for that.
Auntie/Sister Fizah
In the same rank as Uncle Ian, we have Auntie Fizah. Sometimes she acts like a younger child and she thinks she's our sister (we still call her aunty). The confusion is probably due to Mommy and Daddy picking her up from pasar malam and never really establishing her role in the family. Therefore, she has identity crisis.
Emo-ing...
Quite pretty for a pasar malam auntie, eh? She always like to emo. But nowadays, it seems she has dropped her emo habit because apparently, "I've been looking for a lost key to unlock my very tiny heart~~ Finally, I FOUND it" (Noor Hafizah, 2010). Sudah cite, mak cik. She's very caring. I remember when I was doing my assignment last minute (one day before due date) and then she lecture me because I haven't even started the Introduction/Literature Review. She gave me an SMS to remind me to start it and finish it. Next morning, get more scolding from her because I haven't finish it yet. Ganas oh this auntie.
Daddy
Note to Daddy: Do you know how hard is it to find good solo pictures of you? I was choosing between a drug addict picture and a picture of your serious face eating cake with cake clinging to the side of your head. After more searching, I gave up, and ended up choosing this horrible one:
Phantom of the Opera's Son
Old picture for the win! Muah ha ha ha! Hm... so about daddy, he's a very concerned daddy. Very fierce and like to scold people. But also very easy to bully because of his soft heart as well as his love for his family. He's creative and lecturers love his brain. They wanted to preserve it, but were agonized when he escaped from their evil plans to extract his brain and went to Korea in hopes they will forget about their plans in 1 year's time. However he failed to realize that his escape plan means leaving 80% of his family behind to fend off the evil lecturers' brain washing scheme. Oh well, at least we're still surviving and still sane... I think.
Mommy
Next to Daddy is of course, Mommy. She has this rabbit in her possession that I just want to pinch, scratch, claw and squeeze due to it's overload of cute-ness. It's a stuffed toy, of course. I will never do those to a live animal. Say 'No' to animal cruelty. She's just as cute as the rabbit.
How to say "I love you" in Korean?
She is very bright, like a star. Always smiling and happy, not bothering people with her problems. In some ways she is also a very blur Mom. I think this is due to her late night sleeps. Sleep early ah, Mommy! Old already need to take care of yourself more.
She likes cold jokes a lot which the children do not understand at all. There was this one time when she asked "What does Bunny do not like to eat?". Me and Arinah came up with different sorts of answers (e.g. carrot, meat), but in the end she said the answer was "Bun". Why? It is because of Bunny's name. After telling the answer, Mommy proceeded to giggle (syok sendiri). However, me and Arinah just stared at each other blankly. I think it took us more than 10 seconds to fully understand it. We ended up laughing not because of the joke, but because both of us had blank stares while Mommy remained delightfully happy with her clever joke.
The Triplets
Finally we get to be introduced to the highlights of the family; the triplets. Below is a picture of the three children in order of oldest to youngest (from left to right).
Arinah, Mei Li, and Me. Clickable.
Nothing much to say about us. Just that we are not normal, I think we need counseling. Arinah Kakak is trigger happy, she laughs non-stop for no reason. Mei Li Jie is a Depressed, Random, Lying Cat (inside joke) and I am apparently a Crab by day, Vampire by night (wth). I do not know why I am the last. It is really sad. I will always get bullied by the other two. But I still love my sisters. *insert big happy smile here*
Here is our family tree that we (the triplets) made:
Slowly figure out which balloon is who
That's all about my lovely Psycho family. The ones who stuck with each other through thick, thin, long and short. Remember our karaoke sessions; how we made Daddy sing "Barbie Girl"? Remember when we wanted to strangle the person who hurt Arinah? Remember the night in the train and that we wanted to send someone off to Thailand? Remember we were so hard working on climbing 300 steps in Langkawi just to reach the waterfall and when we reached, thought that wasn't the place and climbed some more? Remember who broke the bed in Penang and who looked so p-r-e-t-t-y with make-up on? Remember whose facial expressions was so expressive and thoughts were so abstract? Remember who thought that the girl in the mirror was someone else? Remember who was so hardworking in getting to know some pretty ladies *winkwink*? Hehehe.
I hope that by reading this, all family members will smile on your sad days and have a laugh on the good days.
xoxox's.
Then I finally got the mood to work on my assignment that is due tomorrow and started sitting at the computer at 7:30P.M.
Here I stare at the screen (opening multiple tabs as usual) and blink, blink! WTH 11:09P.M! I can actually hear some of you cursing at me in your head, "Then why are you still blogging? Go do your freaking assignment!"
Just wanted to say something... Internet kills your time. A LOT of time, especially when you know what are the right links to click. Okay, enough ranting. Back to work.
Toodles!
If only it were easy as this...
Face the facts; with hard choices, there's no easy way. It's either you do it or you don't. I find myself always and constantly stuck in this period. No matter how much I pray, how much I cry or how much I ponder, I never get far. I thank God that whatever it is, I still have the strength to smile and to carry on my daily life and not cling to the bed, complaining I cannot go on or worse yet, drop everything I've learnt and revert to my old, mundane ways. I also thank God for supportive friends whom are always there, caring and helping me lift my moods.
I hope that I can do something for them as well. No matter how small the deed, I hope that one day I am able to make a better difference in their lives. Hope they don't see that I take their kindness and cares to my advantage. For future implications, if I ever gave that impression, just slap me. I never intended for that to happen.
My elder brother told me and gave me the impression that he thinks I am one that sits down and wait to be pampered. He worries that in future, I could not handle my life. While that may hold some truth, I would never want to be the only one on the receiving end and I have a belief that I can handle my life (the problem is whether would it be the hard way or the easy way). That much, I hope he knows. Although growing older means I have to take more responsibilities I'm not really ready for yet, I'm not as spoilt as he thinks or as weak as he thinks.
As for Hard Choices, I made up my mind that although you are an incredible pain in the back, you are necessary for my growth. And guess what? I'm not backing down and I'm beating you one step, albeit small, at a time.
Scanning through the first few lines, I wondered when I had this particular document. It did not make any sense and there were random people jumping in. Punctuations and grammar were not even in the right place. It had even more action than my other stories. Then, ding! I remembered that I had once woken up in a sense of urgency and quickly typed out what I remember about the dream after washing up. Below is what I wrote...
In a party… when Wayne suddenly got this premonition about the earth quake. His head(near his left eye there is a scar) hurts and he explains while crying that he actually got this when Adeline pushed him down last time. Since then he has been able to tell if there was an earthquake. But it was so minor. Until that day that it was so painful… and he sobbed "We’re going to die."
Just then we saw the ground spilt into a small hole and bright red lava was coming out of it. Adeline and I sprang into action. No idea why we didn’t warn people when we should have… we climbed rooftops and went further away from the scene. I warned Eng Yew through SMS while I was maneuvering through the many rooftops. After that we were on the ground and my brother came with a Kancil in full speed. Asked me to hurry get into the car. We were to escape the lava. I went to get Adeline, told her that I was going, hoping she would follow me. I don’t know if she did but once I got in the car, that was it. My brother drove away and we were headed our way to KL. He took a short cut to save time. But we got to a point (somewhere near Tesco) that further down the road, it was already in fire. There was no way to maneuver around it. Lava was catching up in our direction. It already did and went further up. My brother tried to maneuver around the lava, did a U-turn and returned to the place where we departed from to get his wife and other people?.
I wanted to save Adeline. I asked to return. And we tried to get inside but our path was blocked with lava. I found a way. We used motorbikes. And went underground (secret passage) and up to a… bank? And I was screaming to people to get out to get out. The guards helped me as well and showed the way to the underground passage. Almost everyone was out but I saw someone pass a small thing over to somebody else in a discreet way. I predict a betrayal later on. In the passage, there was this old lady, supposedly a wise shaman of that sort. She has passed out and couldn’t wake up. I asked someone to carry her. We went down a half level and there sat two or three kids. Who had fallen from the flights and supposedly got their legs broken. I checked, slowly… but it was only a twist.
I couldn’t remember what happened next.
I pressume I woke up after that. I also notice that in this dream, I was being the "heroine". Most of the time with dreams such as these, my top priority was running away. There's a theory I came up with that running away from something means running away from problems. If this theory is true, then what I did in my dream would mean I've started face my problems.
It's a good change, no?
Thus, I shall show you an example of a procrastinator- which is me. I actually need to construct a better rating form and e-mail it to someone since yesterday, which is a Friday night. Now, 24++ hours later, I am still chilling around and have not yet even begun constructing said rating form, much less e-mail it to the said someone. Well, if I'm working on my own on this assignment, it wouldn't bother me so much. But I am actually working with a friend, whom much unlike me do not procrastinate, and I am feeling so guilty.
So this is my sorry note, although I know you don't read my blog. Either way, sorry. It's 12:11A.M on a beautiful EARLY Sunday morning. I will get it done by this Sunday afternoon.
Yeah, right. I doubt myself.
I tried making a new layout for the blog, but then it wasn't really impressive to me so I gave it up. Maybe after searching for another inspirational picture, I might get the thing done.
Also, Psychology is becoming more of a pain. The workload is definitely rising and trying to make us poor students "psycho". With that said, ta-ta for now!
This is a little late. But gratitude to you guys are needed!
Though I didn't get showered with presents, the wishes are astounding. I think part of my thanks goes to Facebook. Haha! Thanks to those whom had celebrated and wished me starting from the 27th of June! You know who you are ;). If I left anyone out, I'm sorry. I don't have a super memory.
Surprise Gathering
Fifi
MeiMei
Shine
Arina
Vanessa Ong
Beckham
Andrew
David
Izzat
Thanks for coming and surprising me in Chilli's as well as your cute little present. I really was in shock until I randomly picked something out from the menu to eat (I usually take my time ordering). I was THAT blur. THANK YOU ENGYEW for setting it up. ;)
Facebook & MSN
Qi Kit
Kelvin
Lih Ren
Brandon
James the Taugeh
Anitt
Cynthia
Maryann
Vivi
Yvonne Tomato
Seng Mun (you're old too, you know?)
Hui Lin Baby
Sharon Lai
Archana
Aliza
Prem J
Gillian
Nadia
Goat =P
Kean Pang
Yuen Cheong (did I spell it right?)
Hui Huan
Dharshini
Joseph Tan
Adeline
Christine
Poh Yee
=)
You guys make me feel loved <3. I didn't get a chance to write on everyone's walls, but thanks!
SMSes
Goat (the only birthday call)
Xiao Teng
Adeline
Chipmunk
May Yoong
Charisse
Julie (Hello, sis)
Venessa
Andre
Adrian
Auntie Edith
Weng Soon
Natasha
I don't mind the belated ones so you can take back your "Sorries" =)
Face value
Darren
Fred
Shine (for the Aussie, Malaysian and USA wishes)
Mom
Jeremy (Hey, bro)
Mee Kin
Baby Elisha
Hope I didn't forget anyone. x_x
Patrick!
I'm actually quite glad you guys didn't get me SpongeBob. Patrick is cute.
I HAVE A PIG IN MY HOUSE!!!
Yeah, I have a pet (thanks to a Goat)! FINALLY! And it's an adorable Guinea Pig. Meet, ChocoChip! She's really shy, but she makes so much noise just to get a piece of carrot and cucumber. Sheesh! She gets louder when I start to talk and move towards her cage.
That's it for a birthday! MUAX!!!
I feel so anti-social today. Don't really feel like talking to anyone, or going anywhere. Got mad about something and someone last night and stayed mad. Planned to study for my coming finals but ended up in front of the computer like a geek and sleeping like a pig the whole day.
It's 10:44pm now and I haven't had my dinner. Feeling hungry but there are visitors downstairs. Don't want to go down in case my brother inquire me about my eating habits. The last thing I need is someone nagging me about eating habits. I'm a shy person and rather that no one looks at what I'm doing. That's why I sometimes don't do what I want or have to do, because I'm afraid of people commenting on what I'm doing. Weird, huh?
The strange thing about me being mad though... I wanted to just turn around and hug that person. I wanted to just forget everything that happened. But then how would the person know I am truly disappointed by what's been done? So I pull back myself, and go find something addictive to do. Which doesn't make me very productive. I somehow hate myself.
Currently listening to Neyo's Part of the List. Great song. I wish someone would sing that to me. I'd melt! I think I might even shed some tears. The song's really touching. Or maybe I'm being a little "emo" now. COME ON! THERE MUST BE SOMEONE (preferrably guy) WHO CAN SING THIS WITH HEART! SING IT TO ME!!! Here's Marie Digby's version. I just love her voice and her looks. Her original song called 'Stop Me' is great too. I just love her.
I wonder what time I'll sleep tonight. I went to bed at almost 3a.m. last night and woke up like 12:30 in the afternoon. That's one late morning! But my record hasn't been broken yet. Maybe I should break my record?
Someone save me from myself!!! And bring me food too.
Neyo - Part of the List
Shape of your eyes and your nose
The way you stare as if you see right through to my soul
To your left hip and the way it's not quite big as your right
The way you stand in the mirror before we go out at night
Our quiet type, your beautiful mind
They're all part of the list
things that I miss
things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss
what I notice is this
I come up with
Something new every single time that I sit and reminisce
The way your sweet smell lingers when you leave the room
Stories you tell as we lay in bed all afternoon
I dream you now, every night, in my mind is where we meet
And when I'm awake staring at pictures of you asleep
Touching your face
Invading your space
They're part of the list
Things that miss things that I miss
things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss
what I notice is this
I come up with
Something new every single time that I sit and reminisce
Oh
Will you live in my memories forevermore I swear
and you live in my memories forevermore I swear
They are part of the list
Things that miss things that I miss
things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss
what I notice is this
I come up with
Something new every single time that I sit and reminisce
Whoaaa said whoaaa I whoaaa whoaaaa whoaaaaa
Whoaaa said whoaaa I whoaaa whoaaaa whoaaaaa
