Stanley (1972)

Stanley (1972)
Director: William Grefe
Starring: Chris Robinson, Alex Rocco, Steve Alaimo
Format: DVD

Plot: A young Seminole Indian uses his rattlesnake to take revenge on all those he believes have wronged him.


Florida regional B-movie maker William Grefe is best known for helming some of the worst films of all time, like Death Curse of Tartu and Sting of Death. Given that reputation I went into this - a lesser-known nature revenge flick - with extremely low expectations and came out pleasantly surprised.

Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't a great movie. In fact, the first two-thirds are for the most part pretty boring, as we meet ex-Vietnam Vet and Seminole Indian Tim (Robinson), who has shunned society to live in the Everglades with his pet rattlesnakes (including the titular Stanley). We also meet local crime boss Thomkins (Alex Rocco from THE GODFATHER), his slutty daughter, a variety of Thomkins' henchmen and assorted other locals. When Tim finds out that Thomkins' men killed his father he gets revenge on them, but things don't really pick up pace until another henchman slaughters some of Tim's scaly friends.

Once Tim goes into full-on revenge mode Stanley becomes good fun to watch, full of zany, weird action as only the 70s could provide. Unintentional humor abounds. Among the highlights are Tim explaining about the death of his "family" to a stripclub bouncer, Thomkins diving into a pool full of snakes, the way a henchman named Psycho keeps saying "Yeah Mutha!", and the wacky ending. There's plenty that'll have you shaking your head with a wry, confused smile on your face.

Part Willard (man uses animals to get revenge), part Billy Jack (Native American fights back against evil white men) and part Copperhead (killer snakes), Stanley is worth watching if you're in the mood for an offbeat 70s b-movie.

31 Nights of Terror 2015 #27 - The Relic (1997)

The Relic (1997)
Director: Peter Hyams
Starring: Penelope Ann Miller, Tom Sizemore, Linda Hunt
Format: Netflix

Plot: A homicide detective and an anthropologist try to destroy a South American lizard-like god, who's on a people eating rampage in a Chicago museum.

I was looking for something to watch on Netflix and came across this one, which I hadn't seen since the time it came out. I remember back in 1997 there were two big-budget monster movies that came out at the same time - Guillermo del Toro's Mimic and this one. Both even had woman scientists as their main protagonists.

In this one the role of museum scientist is played by Penelope Ann Miller, what ever happened to her? It seemed like she was in a few things for a while there, but I haven't heard much from her in recent years. On the other hand the downfall of Tom Sizemore is well documented - he went from landing biggish roles to low budget obscurity thanks to his vices.

Sizemore is perfectly cast here as the slightly-grumpy old school cop, who pairs up with Miller to track down a monster lurking in a large museum. Wisely the creature is kept off screen for most of the running time, but even when it appears in full it's impressive (designed by the late great Stan Winston). The story around how it ends up in Chicago is fairly well thought out, while the rest of the plot is pure monster movie. The kills don't get very graphic, but there's a decent amount of kills and blood.

The more cynical out there have referred to this as nothing more than Alien in a museum, and that's not far from the truth, but it works. Another comparison I would throw in is Jurassic Park - it has similar cinematography and music and that big budget polish. If you like your horror move gritty and less refined, you'll probably want to pass by this one. Otherwise it's definitely worth a watch, particularly if you like monster movies.

31 Nights of Terror 2015 #9 - The Barrens (2012)

The Barrens (2012)
Director: Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw 2-4)
Starring: Stephen Moyer, Mia Kirshner, Allie MacDonald
Format: DVD

Plot: A man takes his family on a camping trip and becomes convinced they are being stalked by the legendary monster of the New Jersey Pine Barrens: the Jersey Devil.

Another $1 DVD I picked up from the video store that closed recently in my town, I'd seen the cover of this one around and the synopsis was intriguing. I like horror that takes place in the woods, and am intrigued by rural legends like Bigfoot (or the Jersey Devil as is the case here).

Rather than being a straight-forward monster movie, The Barrens is something of a psychological thriller mixed with elements of nature-run-amok. It keeps you guessing the whole way, and just when you think you've figured it all out, it changes the game. One interesting aspect of the plot is that our main protagonist has been bitten by a rabid dog, sparking his descent into apparent mental breakdown. Rabies isn't a plot device I've seen too many times (outside of something like Cujo, where it's a dog that gets bitten), and made for a nice change of pace here.

I'm not too familiar with True Blood (I've watched one whole episode of it), but Moyer does a pretty good job in the main role. His English accent sneaks through at times, which is distracting, but he handles the job of playing a guy slowly losing his mind well enough. The rest of the cast is also good enough.

Gore-hounds will be happy, with a good amount of claret and chewed flesh on display. Script-wise, the build up to the climax is a tad over-bloated, and could have done with some tightening, but in all I enjoyed The Barrens. It mixes genres, entertains and definitely keeps you guessing.

31 Nights of Terror '12 #6 - Island Claws

 The cover of my VHS copy of Island Claws

Island Claws (1980)
Director: Hernan Cardenas
Starring: Robert Lansing, Steve Hanks,
Format: VHS (Empire Video)

Plot: A biological experiment in Florida goes awry. The result: 8-foot long land crabs which roar loudly and kill everything in sight.

See that plot synopsis above? Short isn't it? But that's about all there is to Island Claws. Sure, there's a sub-plot about a young would-be couple from two feuding families, and another about Haitian boatpeople who are smuggled onto land near the village, but all you really need to know is that crabs run amok.

According to IMDB, Island Claws is the only credit for Hernan Cardenas, who wrote, directed and produced this movie. Not sure why that is - Island Claws isn't the worst monster flick I've ever seen. But it's also nothing special.

Pete Adams (Steve Hanks, who the same year starred alongside a young Michelle Pfeiffer in the TV show BAD CATS) and Jan Raines (Jo McDonnell, Marilyn Munster in the 1981 TV movie THE MUNSTERS' REVENGE) are the aforementioned young couple. We get to know them and several other characters in a small Florida fishing village.

A few familiar old faces appear in the supporting cast. Barry Nelson (manager of the Outlook Hotel in Kubrick's THE SHINING) is a marine biologist; Robert Lansing (who made something of a living from "giant nature runs amok" flicks in the late 70s and early 80s, also starring in EMPIRE OF THE ANTS and the giant roaches flick THE NEST) is a bar owner and father figure to Pete.

I'm not going to lie. The first two-thirds of this movie are boring. They're full of mundane village life, sprinkled with a couple of crab attacks. Not giant crabs though, regular sized ones. These attacks consist of someone screaming intercut with stock footage of crabs scuttling about. Hardly terrifying stuff.

The giant crab shows up for the closing act and brings good cheesy action fun, but by then it's too little too late. I understand not wanting to show the creature in its entirety for most of the movie, but what we're left with is 75 minutes of boring set up for 15 minutes of giant crustacean shenanigans.

31 Nights of Terror '12 #5 - Nightwing

The cover of my VHS copy of Nightwing

Nightwing (1979)
Director: Arthur Hiller
Starring: Nick Mancuso, David Warner, Kathryn Harrold
Format: VHS (RCA Columbia)

Plot: Cattle turn up dead from mysterious bites on an Indian reservation in New Mexico. Native deputy Duran (Italian-American Mancuso) investigates while a rival chief negotiates for a sacred valley to be drilled for oil. A bat expert (Warner, TRON) is sure vampire bats have migrated north from Mexico, and when people start getting killed it looks like he's right. He, along with Duran and his girlfriend (Harrold) set off to find the bats and put an end to their terror.

Up until seeing this movie, I had never enjoyed a killer bat horror movie. Sadly, after seeing this movie, I still haven't.

There's just something about bat attacks that make them more comedic than terror-inducing. Give me killer piranhas, birds, even insects, and I can buy it, but bats just don't do it for me. I'm sure being attacked by a swarm of bats would suck in real life, but on screen it's yawn-inducing.

Even putting that personal bias aside, director Arthur Hiller (who made his name directing TV episodes in the 50s and 60s) has put together a film that offers nothing new. There's nothing special about the way it's shot, its plot (about the only interesting plot point is when Duran eats a hallucenogenic plant and uses Indian "visions" to help find and beat the bats), or for that matter the acting.

There's barely even anything cheesy to make things fun. The bat effects are hilariously bad (a mix of back-projection and fluffy toys), but everything else is rather boring and the ending ("I'm going to close the circle Abner") is predictable and corny.