Wednesday, October 31, 2007; 11:01 PM

mel just came home! YES. MEL WASTED 6 HOURS OF HER LIFE ACCOMPANYING BAKA. lol. we were supposed to study after econs and before her JMC meeting. but both of us were feeling so sick that we started to emo at that time. i have an emo partner! hohoho. yah so basically we didn't get any work done. =.=;;

baka told me to go for her JMC meeting coz one of her members is doing a presentation on 'korean stars going to japan'. and guess what? she obviously talked about TVXQ. hahaha. she talked about BoA, TVXQ, K, Yoona and SS501. she played 2 MVs each. baka and i were bored to death. =x watching those MVs make me feel so SEH.

after her JMC meeting, we decided to go for dinner! lol. so we went to the marketplace near her house. amazing there were so many people eating at 9PM. i had dessert while baka had her porridge. hohoho. i forced her to eat coz she has a sorethroat!

oh yes, JERRY IS MY 訴苦 FRIEND NOW! (x coz i was complaining and complaining to him. and being the nice guy that he is, he listened okay! but i haven't told him the whole saga yet. told him to come here and read it instead. coz i was too lazy to rattle everything out to him on the bus. hahaha. so, HELLO JERRY! when you read this. =x

oh yes, TODAY IS DOMMI'S BIRTHDAY! (x happy birthday dearie! when you come back, i'll give you your present! hahaha. =x eh you didn't reply my message you horrid girl! and i wanted to call you at 9AM your time but when i dialed your number, i realized that i can't call overseas coz stupid M1 doesn't allowed roaming for my number just because i'm under 21! wtf. i'm so sorry dearie! i really wanted to call you! you are missed horribly okay! )x come back soon! even better, call me when you're free! hohoho.

my darling FIVE. (x
i miss going out with them.
shu and dommi are overseas. cristal and liz died.
i'm glad i still have mich!


yup, i have decided to spare everyone the agony and not post any D pictures today. though i'm really tempted to. see, i'm so nice okay! i'm sacrificing one day of not seeing RUIZA, HIDE-ZOU AND HIROKI! i miss them already. )x

i was telling baka amber and rynryn were introducing jrock to me in february this year coz we were at amber's house to 拜年. i watched the MV and went 'OMG. THEY ARE SO SCARY. I'M NEVER GOING TO LIKE JROCK.' and see what happened to me now! sherman also didn't expect me to like jrock coz he tried to introduce to me last time as well. lol. but then again, baka did choose the right band to introduce to me. coz D is really not scary. right people? look at their photoshoot! it's so decent and they look absolutely hot! and their songs are really awesome. which makes me wonder how i could think jrock music was noisy? english hardrock metal is the damn noisy one!

ohoh, isn't the banner pretty? baka did it for me! she said she's going to do the background for me too! wahahaha. i love baka! really, i do! although i keep telling her that i hate her. LOL. =x my fellow D and sick friend, get well soon okay! i don't want you to lose your voice or else i'll be very bored during lectures!

--

ace` HAHAHAHA. come to me for D's songs! (x

ziping` ZIPINGYY!

esther` ehhhh. which one do you want as your daddy? HAHAHA. the bassist's eyes are HUGE. yes hide-zou is damn cool right? i like!

shu` eh very sad meh? what else do you want to know? lol.

mich` coz they will look weird!

xingyi` yah i know! not fair right!

van` ehh you stick to your ruiza! dont come to my hide-zou! lol. O.O you brought the clubroom people to my blog? hahahaha. ruiza is lame indeed. =.=;;

alice` i can't wait for it to come out either! i've been good! how about you? never talk to you for so long already! )x

esther` oh really? hahaha.

gwyn` YES I KNOW I'M OUTDATED.

shuting` yah lor. jiejie didn't expect to go siao over jrock leh. T.T

lydia` HAHAHAHA. yah but if you hear the bassist's voice, you'll go O.O.

--

this is baka's PM.
"We used to screw (school) there." - Mel ;D

ehhh. long story. come ask me on MSN if you want to know. but then again, i don't think it'll be funny for you guys. lol.

; 12:31 AM

DRASTIC CHANGE IN BLOGSKIN COLOUR. yes i know i know. but i can't possible put D's picture against a hot pink background! =.=;;

anyway, darling baka's doing the banner for me! yay.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING. =.=;;

a shoutout to 문니!
문니 언니...
술퍼지마라...
울지마...
나... 너의 곁에서. 알아?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007; 10:36 PM

mel promised not to come online today. BUT apparently mel couldn't keep her promise. but then again, mel finished her CM1111 and EC1301 tutorials! and i finished studying for horrible vietnamese! so, i should be allowed to come online for a while! lol. i promise i won't watch any D videos! really!

oh, i got back my vietnamese test! 86.5! hohoho. i got an A! ^^ mich got 95! my dajie is so clever right? hahaha. i think next time she can go vietnam and work or get married there! =x i'm sure she'll survive just fine. wahahaha. ok mich dont kill me after you read this. i know you want your danson and arron. LOL.

went to eat pasta mania with mich after school! it's nice to have 30% off! hahaha. we are still considered STUDENTS. i am still young! speaking of which, IT'S DOMMI'S LAST DAY AS AN 18 YEAR OLD! she's going to join the 19 year old club tomorrow! hahahaha. but she'll rebutt me and say 'you'll always be 32 days older than me!' =.=;; bite her!

now on to my favourite part! PICTURES! hohoho. baka found more pictures for me! it's their photoshoot for their tafel anatomie live concert! but they look soooooooo good. yes, including asagi and tsunehito! (x

帥死了!
멋있어! 예뻐요!
너무 너무 좋아해! ^^


okay. let me fomally introduce D to everyone who reads my blog. LOL. and of course i'm not that crazy as to memorize all those information about them! i koped it from their official website of course. i suddenly feel that my blog has become their mini fansite. =.=;; the order is according to how they always introduce themselves.

ASAGI (vocalist)
birthdate: 29.08
blood type: A
height/weight: 178cm/59kg


RUIZA (guitarist)
birthdate: 18.02
blood type: A
height/weight: 5cm/1 tonne (yes he wrote that =.=;;)


HIDE-ZOU (guitarist)
birthdate: 19.11
blood type: O
height/weight: 172cm/55kg


TSUNEHITO (bassist)
birthdate: 05.03
blood type: ?
height/weight: 169cm/48kg


HIROKI (drummer)
birthdate: 20.07
blood type: AB
height/weight: 178cm/60kg


introduction over! omg. i better go and study! rawr.

--

lydia` yah. it's not fair right! how can men be so pretty! anyway, ruiza looks like who? O.O

esther` OF COURSE THEY ARE PRETTY! ^^

wenting` unnie nobody dares to fight with you. hahaha.

xingyi` i want the album too! but it's so freaking ex! T.T

melly` hahaha yeah. i'm majorly obsessed now. =x

jac` VERY PRETTY!

wenting` HAHAHAHA. your wife and friends! eh your wife, my woman and friends okay!

rynryn` AH RYNRYN! i miss rynryn too! faster jio me out!

van` eh i never expected myself to go crazy over. i used to hate jrock like mad can. lol. and i thought they were REALLY SCARY. and look what happened to me. =.=;;

mich` YAH YOU GOT THE WHOLE WORLD SHAKING THEIR HEAD. lol. of course they're hot! wenting and i have good taste! lol.

Monday, October 29, 2007; 10:44 PM

HOHOHO. i'm very proud of myself! i finished revising my CM1101. up to lecture 16 okay! and i was lagging since like lecture 9. oops. =x but now I SEE THE LIGHT! hahaha. i like molecular orbitals! i think they're really fun. VB-MO theory is damn easy! i hope this will come out during the end year exams! (x

baka and i went REALLY HIGH today. like seriously high. i dont think i've ever seen baka this high in my entire life. HAHAHAHA. i was damn bored during CM1101 lecture today (yes, this is why I WAS LAGGING SO BADLY). so i decided to search for D videos at youtube. was watching those random photoshoot videos. they always amuse you coz you'll definitely get to see the people go mad and retarded. =x anyway, i decided to watch their live performance. i mean, might as well since i have nothing better to do right? so i told baka to watch with me.

and...

OMFG. THEIR LIVE WAS DAMN GOOD. IT WAS AWESOME. shit man. you know we were just watching on youtube but we seriously felt like we were AT THE CONCERT ITSELF. shit. asagi is really damn freaking good! his voice is damn powerful! AND IT REALLY SOUNDS LIKE THE CD VERSION. wtf! he sang '闇より暗い慟哭のアカッペラ、バラより赤い情熱のアリア' really well! he could reach all the freaking high notes! shit man! baka and i practically went O.O! we were so damn amazed! so we decided to watch all their live performances from their tafel anatomie live tour 2006. OMFG. their live. THEIR LIVE ROCKS. omg.

i told baka 'whoever who comes and tell me that TVXQ concert is damn good, i will tell them to go and die. their concert is NOTHING compared to D's.' ok, no offense to my darling TVXQ fans. =x

it's amazing how 5 of them can really coordinate together and play so damn well! ruiza's scaling is AWESOME to the extent that it's scary! hide-zou plays the melody and it sounds sooooo good. tsunehito's base is damn cool! hiroki is amazing on the drums! and ASAGI! ahhhhh. damn nice vocals!

after watching, baka and i were like 'WE HAVE TO SEE THEIR LIVE CONCERT!' we went to the clubroom coz the library had no space. baka went into their official website to see when their concert is going to be. THEY'RE HAVING THEIR CONCERTS IN DECEMBER. wtf. baka's going to america for holiday! and i'm not going without her! she's my translator for goodness sake. rawr. she said we'll have to wait for the next one. but i'm certain i'm going to love NEO CULTURE! oh wells. hopefully if we go next year, sherman can come with us too! ^^

i told baka that all 5 of them are irreplacable! NONE OF THEM MUST LEAVE. if any of them leaves, i will cry. i honestly will. not even tsunehito okay! i love tsunehito now! he's so freaking cute behind the scenes can! he and hiroki can go around acting so damn retarded. omg. we were watching this interview thing. then the guy asked them 'what will happen to you guys after 10 years?'. they all answered '10 years from now, i hope that D will still be together.' OMG. I NEARLY CRIED WHEN BAKA TRANSLATED THAT PART TO ME. omg. the 5 of them are so close! it's so sweet! yes, i hope they'll never disband! i will go and strangle them if they were disband i tell you! )x

mel really wants to fly down to japan now!

--

xingyi` ehh dont be sad! i let you play my PSP! when i get it. =x

mich` eh shake too much your head will drop! but ruiza is really very pretty right!

wenting` dont shake already lahhh.

lesley` *chases after lesley* FOOOD!

shuting` hahahaha. cute little meimei! (x

van` of course he's the prettiest!

--

NEO CULTURE! releasing on 07.11.2007!
the cover is so freaking pretty! i want!
it's pink-ish!


my lovely boys!


of course, I MISS CSJH A LOT!
their jap album 'graceful' cover!
SUPER PRETTY CAN! i love it a lot!
it's sooooo pink!


I MISS KARA A LOT TOO!
eh i just realized that they're wearing pink as well. lol.


동생들!
SNSD'S NEW IMAGE!
so pretty!
and their skirts are pink! (x


HAHAHAHAHA. 4 out of 5 pictures are pink. OMG.

Sunday, October 28, 2007; 11:12 PM

'you know i told myself if he pissed you off, i don't care if he's christian, i'm going to beat the shit of out of him.' -nelson.

OMG. seriously, where on earth would you find such a great cousin?! shit man, i feel like he's done so much for him and i never do anything for him! ): i remembered sometime in secondary school, during my birthday, he bought me a $30 bracelet. walao. my grandma come and tell me coz of that bracelet, he didnt eat the whole week leh. OMG. and now he's getting a PSP slim for me together with my other 2 cousins. damn it lah. i love them to bits can! i feel so loved! (x it's good to grow up in a family of guys! ^^

my darling cousin was waving his imaginary fan and pretending to be like asagi today. hohoho. i got him addicted! (x and now milton thinks ruiza is damn cool too! yay.

today focuses on HIDE-ZOU and RUIZA! (x

van's pretty ruiza!
van you can have him to yourself for a while! lol.



MINE MINE MINE! (x
shuai-ness!




baka is spamming me with pics of ruiza and hiroki! it's raining PRETTY MEN! ^^

--

xingyi` nice to see right! hahaha. eyecandy!

lesley` I LOVE YOU DONGXI! (x

esther` yay. daughter must support omma! hohoho.

jac` AHMA!

shu` HAHAHAHAHA. SOMETHING MEL HAPPENED TO YOU!

shuting` wow i didnt know EMAX has so many fans! lol.

mich` that was a sudden emo moment! no more already!

van` i hope we both get in! then it'll be so fun!

gwyn` VERY PRETTY RIGHT! ^^

; 12:37 AM

currently listening to gazette's 'CALM ENVY'.

sudden emo moment.

no people, i'm not sad. just those suddenly emo moments. if you get what i mean.

read lesley and wenting unnie de blog. and i realize, i really miss them a lot. ): really really really miss them. ):

and now i desperately want to go japan. ):

Saturday, October 27, 2007; 11:10 PM

there is one thing i must announce!
LEE SUNGMIN LOVES A HAPPY LESLEY LEE! (x
so lesley must smile okay?

i seriously think i'm turning crazy. i have been doing crazy stuff for the past 2 days.

2 days ago, i emailed JYP.
just a minute ago, i applied for some l'oreal photoshoot. van, you should know about this. if you read your NUS email. lol.

my gosh. someone save me.

too much jrock isn't very good. hahaha.

NOW ON TO D PICTURES! ^^

my all time favourite MV.
桜花咲き染めにけり! love this song to bits.
note the pretty ruiza and cool hide-zou! (x


hide-zou really grows on you. lol.
love love love!


he looks GOOOOOOOOD.
my drummer boy! (x
BIG LOVE!


this is dedicated to VAN! (x
who is currently in love with ruiza!
hahahaha.
RUIZA IS BIG BIG BIG LOVE!


i seriously love this pair.
THEY MUST BE TOGETHER FOREVER!
asagi cannot come in between them!
i will personally chop him up! rawr.


oh yes. VAN'S INTO D NOW! hohoho. or more like she's into ruiza. hohoho. van next time i send you all their songs and PVs and ruiza's solo album okay! the files are huge i tell you. they take up like 3GB. lol.

--

dommi` ehhh i'm not! i'm NORMAL. rawr.

mich` eh that's a good idea. please send him back! i will be very happy. ^^

shu` because i'm mel! shu you dont talk so soon. later something mel-ish happens to you again. hohoho. i will laugh.

shuting` HAHAHA YAY. meimei is a fan! (x

lydia` hahaha. yeah they are visualkei. but i think they're pretty!

gwyn` oh you like ancafe! hahaha. gazette's song are not bad!

van` van you die already lah. hahaha. fight with me for ruiza. T.T

gwyn` HAHAHAHA. go back to your junsu!

xingyi` of course. i'm your mama! i know what you're thinking!

; 12:44 AM

today is yet another high mel day. LOL. omg i have so many things to blog about today. i better start to blog them down before i forget! hohoho.

i was late for lecture for 20 minutes! again. hahaha. okay ever since i've started school, i have never been on time. coz it's lecture. lol. and usually for the 1st half an hour or so, the lecturer will spend that time revising on the last lecture. but then again, i dont listen to the last lecture. oh wells. i will study them again. soon. after my pub wave. lol.

so baka and i started going crazy again can. omg. JROCK freaks. =.=;; we listened to the 'SEH' song, the 'I AM RUDER' song, the 'GIRL SCREAMING' song, the 'GLITTER' song... hahaha. and we sang along to D's songs. omg. so much for wanting to pay attention for once during my maths lecture. i feel so sorry for choi gonggong. i always go there but my mind isnt there. hahaha. nevermind. at least i make an effort to appear in his lecture! not say i have a choice also. rawr.

after lecture, baka, lijun and i 'followed the footsteps' on the floor to the clubroom. yes, tara, lijun, mich and i pasted the stupid footstep on the floor yesterday. by the time we were done, it was 8.30PM already. omg. talentquest is taking up all my time. bleh. anyway, after mich came, we decided to go in and do up the boards for tomorrows pub wave.

we were happily doing our stuff until 2 random guys came to sit in the meeting room too. i recognized one but i havent seen the other in my entire life before. =x after a while, juliet and vanessa came. then the 'i havent seen him in my entire life' guy commented 'this is the first time i've seen pub comm girls doing work'. O.O omg. he's damn lame can. =.=;; and that totally didnt make any sense. hahaha. i told him to go and buy 4D. AHAHAHA. so when we tied up one board, that guy was saying, 'you can paint yourself in gold and stand like a statue with the boards for 2 hours!' O.O i really have nothing to say. lol.

EVERYONE KEPT ASKING ME 'eh who's wearing the board'? RAWR. i think they all knew i was going to wear the board. =.=;; evil science club people. DIE! lol.

did something stupid. i accidentally dropped the damn board onto my foot! and it hurt like mad okay. imagine, a HARD PLASTIC board, with a SMALL SURFACE AREA, hitting your foot, it's my bone okay. walao. hurts like shit. now my foot has like this red line and it hurts to touch it. T.T that evil 'i havent seen him in my entire life' guy kept laughing at me! rawr! stupid boy! bite him! at least the 'i recognize him' guy was nice enough to ask if i was okay!

after i was done with the boards, i had a cut on my hand, a cut on my arm and that horrible bruise-like thing on my foot. i told mich that by the time pub wave ends, i'll kill myself. hahaha.

another stupid thing happened today! i turned on my ringing tone while i was doing the boards coz i was afraid i wouldnt hear my phone if vanessa or juliet called. so i forgot to switch it back to silent mode. but then again, you won't expect anyone to call right? but NOOOOOO. ben just had to call in the middle of my vietnamese class! O.O suddenly i heard 'DIE FOR ME! FOR ME!' and i went 'who the hell is that weird person singing?'. then i realized that the tune was damn familiar. THEN I REALIZED THAT IT WAS MY PHONE. OMG. damn embarrassing! T.T so i picked up the phone and told ben i was having tutorial. he still continued to talk to me. =.=;; men. haii.

had driving. I KNOCKED DOWN THE POLE WHILE PARKING. hahahaha. omg. i didnt even know i knocked it down until my instructor had to knock on the window so many times to tell me that. =x i was basically stoning while parking. =.=;;

today is mel's malu day.

was talking to like 4 different people on MSN. and in every single window, i was going high and arguing with people. =.=;;
with mich - we were fighting over the BAO icon. =.=;;
with baka - we were just fighting. as usual.
with ziping - to see who can rawr louder and who's crazier. =.=;;
with van - how bully = love.

my current nick on MSN is freaking random. those who have me on MSN would know. unless YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO MY NICK! rawr.

OMG. I CANT STAND MYSELF TODAY. hahaha. i'm still high by the way. i think it's coz i'm too exhausted already. i shall go and sleep after blogging. i shant watch my PVs and the making of 'sleeper'. i must control myself! haha.

OH YAH. I WENT MAD LAST NIGHT TOO. i emailed JYP entertainment. HAHAHAHAHA. okay xingyi you may give me the O.O look now. i really went mad. but they havent replied yet. i actually dont expect to be replied as well. LOL. well, we'll see how things go. i wanted to email YG but i couldnt find their email. =.=;; DSP's website has only korean. so obviously i wouldnt understand a single thing. SM... forget about it. LOL.

you can't expect me to end off my post without D pictures! (x

hohoho. my favourite MV! pretty flyer!
ruiza is so pretty! hide-zou is so cool!
hiroki looks uh weird. T.T
tsunehito looks tsunehito.
ASAGI IS JUST EXTRA. (x


when D was 4 people. lol.
the main person to look at is ruiza.
i dunno why they made hiroki wear TIGHT shorts. =.=;;


doesn't hide-zou look so damn freaking cool?! *screams*
i fell in love with his coolness!


PRETTY AND SEXY RUIZA! *screams again*
MINE MINE MINE! (x


he looks uh gay. HAHAHAHA.
but i still love hiroki okay! *screams yet again*


MY BELOVED THREESOME! hohoho.
they are love! BIG LOVE! (x
*screams screams screams*


okay enough blogging. i think i will go mad if i blog somemore.

--

xingyi` okay we meet up soon!

shhhh` O.O?

wenting` hahaha. you want her to buy CSJH de CD ah?

mich` MICH HELP ME GET RUIZA! (x

van` hahaha. yes manager! eh ruiza is mine! hohoho.

shuting` yes! EMAX! haha. hello meimei!

ace` eh EMAX has fans okay! hahahaha. i'll be the EMAX fatty with you!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007; 11:40 PM

EMAX RELEASED #2 SINGLE 'INTO THE NEW WORLD' YESTERDAY!

a brief information for those who dont know about EMAX.

sorry, pictures are currently not available. lol.

Name: Eve
Birthdate: 10.02.1991

Name: Mel
Birthdate: 28.09.1988

Name: Ace
Birthdate: 05.02.1991

Name: Xingyi
Birthdate: 04.07.1991

discography
16.08.2007 - #1 Break It
22.10.2007 - #2 Into The New World

okay, i have no idea what else to put here. =x
and i just realized, I AM SO OLD.

i am really crazy today. omg.

; 10:23 PM

been feeling so much better these few days. (x

really big thanks to everyone who cheered me up! you are much loved! mel will never forget what great people you are! many loves!

more pictures of the people who make me smile!

SLEEPER. i love this.
hiroki looks GOOD. ruiza always look good. (x


i have no idea which PV this is.
BUT. hohoho. i love D.


and you see tsunehito! lol.
the current loves of my life. (x


i dont know whether to thank or curse baka. lol. she got me into this whole visualkei thing. T.T first she showed me the 'acapella' song to let me see how drama asagi is. after watching, i went 'eh the guitarist is damn good'. okay. that was it. then one day, during maths lecture, she started watching the making of 'sleeper' PV. i was damn bored as well so i decided to join in. OMG. hiroki looked SO good in there. love at first sight! so i kept asking her 'who's this? who's that?' lol. then she let me watch more MVs. and ruiza looked SO GOOD in all of them. then i fell in love with him too. especially in the '桜花咲き染めにけり' MV! ruiza in kimono = SO DAMN PRETTY. i thought hide-zou was really scary at first when i watched the making of 'sleeper' MV. then i saw him in the '桜花咲き染めにけり' MV and he looked so COOL. omg. many many loves! i'm going high.

hiroki, ruiza & hide-zou are love! ❤
pretty men who has excellent guitar or drum skills are big love. (x
my lovely 3 uh men!

ah, i got one of my cousins hooked on to D too. hohoho.

in a short span of 2 days of saving their pictures, i currently have 100 over pictures. O.O this is why my comp is dying on me already.

mich is going to japan in december! which is not fair. T.T i told baka. baka is jealous too! so we've decided that WE'RE GOING TO JAPAN DURING OUR 3 MONTHS BREAK. hohoho. she's going to see if D's going to have a concert or showcase during that period of time! (x if not, maybe we can go and see gazette! hohoho. oh, baka and this community's trying to get gazette to come down to singapore! so exciting. i want to go! ^^

I LOVE MY 3 COUSINS!
why? they are buying me a black PSP SLIM plus memory card for christmas. (x

i feel very loved now.
and i feel in love. HAHA.

this is such a lovey post. omg.

Sunday, October 21, 2007; 9:21 PM

고마워요.

those who showed their concern.
those who called. especially the 2 from overseas.
those who messaged.
those who talked to me on msn.
those who encouraged on my tagboard.

shu, mich, dommi, shuzhen, wenting unnie, van, amber, ace, gwyn, shuting, lydia, xinmei, xingyi, rynryn, ad, random anon...

thanks.

although i'm feeling horrible again now.
i need anti-depression pills.

Saturday, October 20, 2007; 1:22 AM

i think before all this shit happened, i was a relatively happy girl in NUS. but i can't change that right now. i want to quit so damn badly, but i can't abandon the rest of the exco. i dont think i have ever felt so depressed in my entire life. yes, even worse that during my prelims. have you ever had the feeling that you want to cry every second for the whole day? well, today's my day. my eyes are currently swollen. O.O <- yes like that.

1. telling me that he and tara are doing everything for me and that i'm not doing any work. and saying that now that he's busy with all the sponsors meeting, he cannot help me do my stuff anymore
2. blaming me that all the publicity materials are not up when he's the one who doesn't want to print yet. tara told him to print on wednesday but he didn't do a damn thing. now when i want to print, he said not yet. and after that, telling me that i don't have to consult him or tara and just print it on my own accord.
3. blaming me that publicity wave has to be postponed AGAIN.
4. blaming me that there are no posters and postcards. i did 6 posters for him. and he doesn't want to use any. and he blames me. postcards... he wants use his damn photoshoot pictures. how the hell do you want me to do it when i'm not like jerry, a photoshop pro, and he has all the photos with him?
5. telling me that he has to get a PUBLICATIONS MANAGER coz i can't do posters. fine, go and get someone else to do. he can be the publicity head for all i care.
6. telling me that he's tired of defending me in front of all the seniors when they say everyone's taking my work and i'm not doing anything.
7. telling me that all the other comm heads are so tired because they're doing all my work. note, i didn't even ask him to pass my work to them. my comm members were contacting the schools and he just told ziping to take over. how in the world is that my fault?
8. blaming me for not being initiative enough to come up with publicity wave proposals and that i have to turn to him for help all the time when he INSISTS that i send the proposals to him before i can do anything. how can i take initiative when he doesn't want to listen to whatever i say and suggest?
9. telling me that he's tired because he's the one coming up with website design coz my comm wouldn't do it. i already told him upteem times that nobody in my comm knows how to do it. it's not our fault that we have never learnt it before. blaming me that ziping's friend has to help us do.
10. telling me that he's tired of promising sponsors that our publicity waves will be big when it is not because i'm not doing anything.
11. blaming me for inefficiency, like during photoshoot, nobody brought lamps. the funny thing is, my comm members brought all the other props and he didn't even freaking use it.
12. blaming me that my comm is not doing anything.
13. claiming that jenna has gotten all the venues for TQ when that is completely nonsensical. jenna only got zouk. is that all the venues?
14. well, basically implying that i SUCK, i'm USELESS and INEFFICIENT.

he doesn't stop to think whatever he has said. does he honestly think i haven't done anything for TQ? not to be arrogant or whatsoever, did he ever think that without me, he would be able to get 98.7fm to sponsor? everytime he wants connection, he comes to me. when he doesn't, he just blames me. sure, put all the blame on me.

have you ever been shot at with so many things in just 40 minutes? well, i have now. and let me tell you, it doesn't feel good at all. not after when you have done whatever you can.

yes, after he told me all those, i wanted to cry when he left can. mich was just sitting there and being a bystander while he shot everything at me. i freaking knew he was going to do that when he said he wanted to talk to me. walao. he practically ruined my day.

1. i had NO appetite for lunch.
2. i had NO mood to go for vietnamese. yes, i ponned by the way.
3. from the time he 'lectured' me, i have been crying whenever i can.
4. i cried on the bus on the way home.
5. i still had NO appetite for dinner.
6. going back to an empty house and crying in the shower.

and i haven't been eating proper meals for 3 days. on weds, i only had lunch at 2PM. yesterday, lunch at 4PM. and today, i didn't even eat a single meal. with all these around, do you honestly think i would have the appetite to eat? i don't even intend to eat tomorrow or sunday or any other day. and i have terrible headaches right now. it hurts so badly. it comes whenever i sit on buses. why? becauase i'm always doing posters and flyers on the bus. and he still comes and tell me that i don't do anything.

i'm hungry now. after 3 days of no proper food. but i just don't want to eat. i really have no appetite. hopefully i'll starve to death or something. i was telling mich that i want to kill myself or get myself into a coma so that he'll feel guilty for the rest of his life.

my life doesn't revolve around TQ only. i have school work, and i'm doing horribly at maths and econs. i have my own family problems. my dad keeps taking money from my mom and aunties like nobody's business. his business in beijing is obviously not going well but he still wants to go back and do it. he's going to be sued by a number of companies for not paying them. and because of this, i am intending to find a job so that i can support myself and not depend on my mom. i have grade 8 theory exam in 2 weeks and i haven't been able to sit down and do my exam papers because i've been spending all my time doing TQ stuff. so tell me, are you more tired or am i more tired? yes, you have to meet sponsors, you have to do your hall activities. but you are PHYSICALLY tired. i am MENTALLY exhausted. so many things are revolving around me. family problems are the worst.

basically, i just feel like shit now. this is seriously the lowest time of my life right now. notice that i'm not typing a lot of 'scolding' words. but inside, i really cannot take it anymore. i'm not appreciated for whatever i have done, for the amount of effort i put in, for the hours i have put in, for the hours i've sacrificed spending time with my mom. so what's the point of me staying in the comm? since EVERYONE else is so successful with their jobscope and i'm not, why don't you just fire me and split the work with the other comm members like what you're doing now? i'm not needed. i'm not important to the comm. why should i stay and continued being blamed by you? i don't care if TQ fails this year.

note, even if i'm 'LOL-ing' with you guys on msn, it means nothing. i don't want to bother anyone about this. so just treat as if nothing's wrong with me. i'd rather suffer alone than affect other people.

pub comm meeting again tomorrow. he wants the pub wave to be big. i dunno how big he wants it to be when he shoots down whatever my comm suggests.

i want my life back. i want to get out of this shit.

i want to quit school.

but can i really?

Friday, October 19, 2007; 3:20 PM

mel is going to rant.

RAWR.

GOLDFISHES SHOULD DROWN! DROWN THEM! (note: i know they can't drown. i'm not stupid.) ok lor. IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FREAKING FAULT! IT'S NOT AS IF I ASK THAT STUPID FISH TO GIVE ALL MY COMM'S DUTIES TO OTHER PEOPLE RIGHT?! WALAO. HE HIMSELF DID IT ON HIS OWN. THEN HE COME AND TELL ME THAT PUB WAVE CANNOT TAKE PLACE BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE MATERIALS. BUT HE'S THE FREAKING ONE WHO DOESNT APPROVE OF THE POSTERS AND TELL ME THAT MORE THINGS HAVE TO BE ADDED INTO IT AND WE CANT PRINT YET. WALAO. COME AND TELL ME THAT HE HELP TO DEFEND ME IN FRONT OF THE SENIORS. HE MUST BE TALKING BAD ABOUT ME! ASSHOLE! FREAK SHIT! STUPID GOLDFISH! wanted to print the posters at the dean's office just now but that asshole told me cannot print yet. no sponsor logos, preliminary round dates, blahblahblah. WALAO. I WANT TO PRINT, YOU DONT LET ME PRINT! ASSHOLE! KENASAI. HE'S THE IDIOT WHO WANTS TO POSTPONE PUB WAVE. NOT ME CAN. WALAO. ASSHOLE!

I HATE MEN! I HATE BOY-MEN! but i like pretty men. (x

AHHHHHHH.
RUIZA!
HIROKI!
HIDE-ZOU!

D is big love! (x





ruiza, hide-zou, hiroki! (x


pretty! wahahaha.


--

mich` come drive with me!

xingyi` eh nonono. i'm not really living in NUS.

wenting` you need to step on her? O.O

mich` whey i'm not living in NUS can. i was FORCED to stay back in school!

wenting` mich is a slacker! =x

Thursday, October 18, 2007; 1:34 AM

i just came home half an hour ago! wahahahaha. praise me people. maybe dommi is right, i'm living in NUS. omg. this is so sad.

anyway, i had a really busy day today.

school from 9AM to 3PM. surprised valerie with shuzhen and darius at 5PM. photoshoot at 7PM. meeting at 9.30PM.

yes, i left school at MIDNIGHT by the way. my dad came to pick me of course. after dropping chooi sum, ziping and alice, my dad went to hometeamNS to give his friend something. so when he went to find his friend, i got out and went into the driver's seat. when my dad came back, HE TOLD ME TO DRIVE HOME! wahahahah. driving at 12AM is super cool man.

oh yes, ben is MAD. he actually asked EMAX to guest star for TQ finals. =.=;;

--

shhhh` why are you popping? lol.

mich` yes that's all i can say. lol.

van` yeah. it's okay now. thanks babe! it was really nice seeing you today!

esther` oh yes! i miss your 'cooking'!

lydia` it's better than me. i know NO jap. hahaha.

jac` thank you ahma!

van` HAHAHAHAHA. now ben says see how. if not enough performers then ask us. lol.

Monday, October 15, 2007; 11:46 PM

i know i haven't been blogging! i apologize.

i'm busy recording 'Lovin' You' now. coz i made ace wait for like 3 days? i feel kinda bad. so i must faster finish recording by tonight! WISH ME GOOD LUCK! (x

--

lydia` i want to learn jap!

mich&wenting` stepping again. tsktsk.

dommi` ahhh i want to go to london!

alice` ahhh. hahaha it's okay! ^^

xingy` yes join! lol.

Friday, October 12, 2007; 11:57 PM

i am still pissed off by the way. but not as much as yesterday. lol.

I DID 4 POSTERS TODAY! well, mich did 2 with me. i did the last 2 at home. i got onto the 188 and i opened my laptop to do the stupid poster okay! argh.

photoshoot's postponed. yay?

i will post up my posters when they are approved that THAT guy. and in the meanwhile, i can publicize for TQ too! (:

EMAX, JOIN JOIN JOIN! =x

--

wenting` O.O unnie stepping on me very fun hor. i step on your chaeyeon ah!

dommi` yes it does remind me of that. hahaha. and i just talked to yingquan today. how weird. hmmm. dommi come back and bite their heads off!

shu` yeah i should, shouldn't i? LOL.

mich` O.O you and your stepping again.

wenting` and stepping begins again.

mich` eh she IS very free. lol.

jac` YES AHMA! ahma is the best!

alice` yeah photoshoot. not of me though. hahaha.

Thursday, October 11, 2007; 11:35 PM

I AM VERY VERY PISSED OFF AT THE MALE SPECIES. REALLY VERY PISSED OFF. i hate men. I HATE ALL MEN! ALL MEN SHOULD DIE! well, except mich's arron and danson and my taeyang. (:

i dont know why all men can be so unreliable, inflexible, irresponsible and many more. list down all the horrible traits. those describe men PERFECTLY.

tell be dont want photoshoot already. still insist that we have a photoshoot coz the WEB DESIGNER says that the website needs models for the design. and guess what... i found out from tara today, that BEN IS THE WEB DESIGNER. walao. he literally told me 'but the web designer wants models for the design'. kena sai. referring to himself as 3rd person somemore. why can't he just tell me that he's the web designer? stupid shit ass. i'm damn pissed off okay. i freaking want to quit lah. let's see, i'm sure i was given the PUBLICITY HEAD post for a reason right? to come up with ways to publicize for TQ and to come up with poster designs. i told him that we feel that using close up pictures of instruments and stuff will look nicer than using models but he still insists that we use models. note, is INSIST. not even a room for suggestions. well, since i have NO POWER in deciding what i want to do for my poster, i don't see why i still have to be the publicity head, and i also dont see why i have to be in the comm when apparently i'm not needed and he can do all the freaking work himself! wtf. and the publicity proposal... i sent it to him LAST FRIDAY. that was like a damn week ago. he had 7 days to come and discuss with me about the proposal. he chose to get tara to do it today and tell me to change so many damn freaking things. publicity wave 1 is only next week. i gave him the damn proposal 2 weeks before that. giving one week grace to discuss. he comes and tell me what the shit he wants when this week is coming to an end and when i can't do any freaking thing. and another stupid thing is that i told him we wanted to make shirts asap so we can wear for our publicity wave. he has the cheek to come and tell me we need at least 2 weeks to print the shirts. SO WHY THE HECK DID HE TAKE SO DAMN FREAKING LONG TO TELL ME?! and now i'm supposed to find connections to 9.33FM now. wtf. DO I LOOK LIKE I OWN MEDIACORP TO YOU?! shit ass freak. i'm super pissed can.

I'M NOT ONLY PISSED AT HIM. i'm pissed at my other comm member. omg. this guy is the best. he really win. hands down. he did 3 posters i think 2 weeks ago. ben told him to improve on poster2. he said okay. he will. but last week was exam week so ben gave him a deadline. said to improve on it by tuesday. yourong said he can only do it by wednesday night coz he has to hand in lab report and has a test. i said okay, that's a reasonable explanation. so i went to message him this morning, telling him to send ben the poster. he thought i was mich okay. so this is what he said, 'why don't melissa let him see the psoter? i thought all our posters are with her? frankly speaking, i have not done anything coz i don't have any photos yet.' O.O WTF. I DIDN'T ASK HIM TO DO A NEW ONE CAN?! WALAO. BEN TOLD HIM PERSONALLY TO IMPROVE ON IT AND HE COME AD GIVE ME THIS SHIT. WTF. so i replied telling him 'I'M NOT MICH' and tell him i was talking about the poster ben talked to him about last time. and he has the cheek to tell me, 'what's going on?' WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S GOING ON? HELLO? ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT? YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS AGES AGO. YOU SAID OKAY, YOU'LL DO BY YESTERDAY NIGHT. AND NOW YOU COME AND TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?!

oh yes, one more very pissing thing. ben was telling me 'split the work among your comm members. don't let yourong do the work.' everyone, please read the above. DID YOURONG EVEN DO ANY DAMN FREAKING WORK? NO. i tell you, ben is super damn biased. what makes him think that yourong is doing all the freaking work and that the others aren't? i got the rest of the comm to call the schools. coz yourong was doing the posters. IS THAT NOT CALLED SPLITTING? and mich and i did the most work thank you very much. all yourong did was that 3 posters and NOTHING ELSE. i can't believe ben said that sentence. that is so pissing. REALLY VERY PISSED OFF. STUPID MALE CHAUVANIST.

okay i'm done ranting. i'm just so pissed off. i had half the mind to walk into clubroom to tell tara that i want to quit. my theory was proven correct coz lijun and mich said they'll quit if i quit. valerie will confirm quit if i go. shuwei and vanessa will quit if mich quit. HOW FUN. let yourong do everything himself! SINCE HE'S SO FREAKING SMART. BEN CAN HELP TOO. mr web designer... =.=;;

so now we have photoshoot on saturday. since tara said he already designed it, i have NO choice, do i? mich, i may go down late for the photoshoot or i may not even go down at all. i have to go see doctor about my condition on saturday. and my mom's not happy that i have photoshoot on saturday.

--

xingyi` jiayou-ing!

lydia` hahaha. it's HWAITING in korean.

mich&wenting` the 2 of you... keep stepping on each other. aigoo. come come, let's all be friends! lol.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007; 8:16 PM

okay. I'M OKAY NOW PEOPLE. sorry for the one sentence post yesterday. went to check my econs results. and obviously, i did damn badly. seriously. and it's 30%. i want to go for SEP so i need to do really well! but looking at this result... my econs die already. and i think i'll fail my maths too. don't tell me i wont coz i know i will.

on the brighter side, my pub comm and i have decided NOT to do a photoshoot! yay. we are so brilliant. taking pictures of people won't look as nice and classy as taking up close shots of instruments. yay. happy now.

out with TQ exco to 'live the dream'! wahahaha.

okay i have CM1111 test tomorrow. i shall go study. it's 10% of the final score. important!

--

mich` you are always bored. lol.

wenting` eh walao. they bluff me can.

lydia` oh no. you are one of the poor things who has tests on saturdays too!

rynryn` yes i drink a lot of water!

van` ooh. maybe our ulcers are twins!

jac` ahma decided to slow down and walk!

alice` orh!

dommi` =.=;; you didnt know you could do that on my tagboard? HAHAHAHA.

shu` i will tell you more details when i have the time to reply your email! haha.

lydia` read above! but i'm fine now.

alice` 沒事了! ^^

--

now i really really really want to get into YG Entertainment. ):
which is highly impossible. ):

Monday, October 8, 2007; 9:45 PM

i'm a screwed up piece of shit.

Saturday, October 6, 2007; 9:05 PM

hello people! i am back! hahaha. after a million years! whee. just finished CM1101 test! yes, i know it's a saturday. rarh. stupid chem department set the test on a saturday. we should sue them! 5 day week!

past few days have been... busy. mugging at cluroom, meeting, tq stuff, more mugging... lol. i'm glad this week's over! now i can rest tonight! or as what baka says 'do nothing!' hahaha.

i was very amused after my chem test. once our lecturer said put your pens down, i was thinking to myself, hopefully they wont miscount the number of scripts and make us stay back for 45 minutes! then our lecturer said, 'this is how we're going to collect the scripts. take your belongings, come to the front and put your scripts in the box.' O.O omg. hahahah. that was the fastest script collecting ever! super fun.

--

wenting&mich` you two... =.=;; got nothing to say.

wenting` quite nice ah? yay. expert say quite nice means good!

shhh` yes i dont have the time to read! lol.

dommi` i'm not living in NUS! it's coz i have to stay back for stuff. hahaha. yay shu's coming back too! we can meet up again!

rynryn` i miss rynryn too!

wenting` YESYES! I KNOW! AHHHH.

van` lol. yes but i'm not in MC! i'm in SC! hahaha. i'm like thinking of what MC post to run for next year can. LOL. =x yay my signature's nice. lol.

--

TODAY IS MY WOMAN'S BIRTHDAY! (x

스테파니언니, 생일촉하해요!

i can't kope new pics coz soompi's down. lol. so i shall post up old pics!







ok i can't seem to find solo steph pictures from my photobucket. lol. =x

I LOVE YOU STEPHANIE UNNIE! (x

Thursday, October 4, 2007; 1:24 AM

my failed attempt in making a signature.


wenting unnie's very pretty signature.
she improved on mine!


i'm SAD. i'm not arty farty. I CAN'T USE PHOTOSHOP FOR NUTS!

--

eve` yes your korean is still good! hahaha.

mich` eh no. i was replying shu as well. that's why you hear me frantically typing!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007; 3:53 PM

i'm supposed to study! but i'm falling asleep! omg. help me. the science library has such a conducive environment for sleeping! the air-con isn't too cold so it's nice! omg. i have to study. T.T

exco meeting at 7PM. stupid ben. if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be in school! i'll be at home sleeping on my comfy bed! bleh.

okay that's all i want to say. i should force myself to study now!

--

wenting` i never lie. you are the best unnie!

alice` yes busy birthday. lol. the muffins are nice! hohoho.

mich` what's with the faces? =.=;;

lydia` why must i plan?! ask leonard to plan.

wenting` yes you will always see mich.

jingyu` you like mr fishy! haha. hands off my kibum!

jac` yes ahma. i will try to sleep more!

wenting` unnie got high over seeing boyeon! lol.