Dear Brigid:
I'm so upset I just don't know what to do. It started this morning. My husband asked me to take our favorite pistol and drop it off at the gunsmith. Apparently it had an issue with the hammer falling to halfcock when he took it to the range last week and he wanted to have someone look at it. I said I'd drop it off on my way to work and he could pick it up later.
I took his truck as mine needed gas and the stop at the gun shop would add time to my commute. I didn't think he'd mind. On the drive I dropped my cellphone. At a stop light, I reached underneath the seat looking for it. I found a smaller sized pair of women's pink thong panties. Oh Brigid, They weren't MINE!
I'm only 36, we've been married 17 years, with kids that take a lot of my time. I thought maybe it was the weight I put on or the fact we've been together since high school and he was bored.
Oh Brigid, how did this happen? I don't know what to do.
Please help me.
Troubled in Toledo
Dear Troubled:
First, I am so sorry.
But there are several reasons your gun may fall to halfcock. The sear/hammer surfaces could we worn, and you might have to re-cut/sear/hammer bearing surfaces. The disconnector might be binding - just remove any debris that might be causing this, making sure there is enough pressure on the middle finger of sear spring. The sear spring or the overtravel might just need a little readjustment.
Lastly, check your safety - with empty gun cock hammer, engage the safety, pull the trigger (the hammer shouldn't' more or fall) and disengage safety (hammer should not move). If it fails this test I have to tell you girl, get it fixed immediately.
Trust me, I understand your distress, your gun is a finely tuned, precision instrument that is comprised of numerous components designed to function in one precise way. When it doesn't, it is very upsetting. If these diagnostic activities don't help, you DO need to see a competent gunsmith to make the necessary repairs.
I hope this helps.
Brigid
As I was reading the beginning, my mind started churning. . . "now HOW is she going to answer this one!" Quit your day job and just turn to writing!!!
ReplyDeleteBest laugh I've had all day
ReplyDeleteOf course, if she thinks she is overweight, then why hasn't she done anything about it?
ReplyDeleteBut I see what you did there....
She could have handed them to her husband and told him these better fit you or I am going to kick your butt,
ReplyDeletethanks for a laugh today has not been a good one and I needed this.
old oakie - I had a copilot one day that kept squirming around in his seat. I finally said "what IS It?" He sheepishly told me that when he got the 3 a.m. call to cover for a sick pilot he just grabbed the white briefs in the clean laundry basket and put them on. It wasn't until he was at the flight line and awake that he realized they were his wife's hi rise ladies briefs. He said "But they SAID Hanes?!"
ReplyDeleteHer husband is obviously going through a crisis if his favorite gun keeps dropping to half cock.
ReplyDeleteAt least he has not gone completely over to the pastel side.
If things do not improve, she should share George Burns advice about making Who@*ie later in life: "It is like shooting pool with a rope, it can be done but it takes a lot of coordination between both parties."
As a final resort, one can always go metric. The gun that started with a "3" morphs to a gun that starts with a "9". If you cannot achieve altitude you gotta go with attitude.
Now that's funny right there!
ReplyDeleteOh, this is good. Important things first. When that gun works, maybe she will get answers.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the extra money for a coffee resistant keyboard would be a good idea.
ReplyDeleteAnother lesson from the range is, "My sights need adjusting" is almost always code for "I need to blame the pistol for my poor shooting." One of the exceptions being the officer who had dropped his pistol, and the rear sight was knocked almost out of the dovetail.
Another lesson from the range. Look at the cleaning table for pistol parts BEFORE the officers leave the range. And since you asked, the HK P2000 will work normally without the slide stop pin, but a return to battery without the magazine usually causes the slide to leave the weapon and land on the cardboard placed there for the test. (one round of live ammo used after dummy testing and a thorough talk about risks.)
Thank you for starting my day with a laugh.
John in Philly
To paraphrase -- never ascribe to adultery that which is adequately explained by a garden variety kink. Finding the underwear under the seat is such a cliche that my gut says something else is going on besides infidelity.
ReplyDeleteI know a woman who used to sell semi-custom bunny waitress uniforms until Hef shut her down over violations of his registration at the Patent Office (!). She told me once that 40% of her customers are not female. Based on what I've seen trading on EBay over the past 15+ years, I believe that number to be accurate.
See what happens when people text and drive? Nothing good, she could have totally cracked the face of her cellphone dropping it like that. Then she would really have a bad day.
ReplyDeleteThat was an "OH OH" moment that turned funny!
ReplyDeleteMerle
Bright red hair and a tendency to "smart *ss!" You remind me of my Baby Sister!
ReplyDeleteKeep it up!
A few years back, my friend's wife found a pair of purple panties in their truck that weren't hers... my friend claimed they were his... he's been wearing purple panties for eight years now...
ReplyDeleteDann in Ohio
I have one of those!
ReplyDeleteA Sig P220, I mean. ;)
Larry - it's my all time favorite carry piece.
ReplyDeleteIt was a really long day. I'll comment back tomorrow everyone. I'm glad I could make you smile.
B.
Reminds me of the old Ole and Lena joke where Sven asks Ole why he wears ladies underwear.
ReplyDeleteWhen in doubt, go with a quote from The Doctor.
ReplyDelete"His name is Susan, and he wants you to respect his life choices."
(Replace my previous post)