My Superbowl Day That Was Not So Super

Well as most of you know my Steelers lost to the Packers 31-25 in yesterdays Superbowl. I had hoped that the Steelers would have pulled it out and won, but they didn’t. I am not sad that they lost, nor am I angry or bitter that they lost; after all they were in the Superbowl when 30 other teams wished they could have been there. And the game itself was a good close game, which even in a loss is still a good thing as it was a great game in my book.

My life is ruled by the 10% theory, so it should be of no shock to you that my day was not a good one (in addition to the Steelers losing).

Saturday my daughter came down with a bad case of the flu plus strep throat. She was up all night puking and coughing. And when I woke up on Sunday morning in addition to my daughter being sick, my son had also came down with the flu as well. Oh and my ex was also sick with the same stuff that my kids had, so when she came over I had 3 people useless sick people laying on my couch all day.

Because they were all sick, I had to clean up my whole house, do all of the laundry, shop for the game, cook all of the food, clean the post party mess, and pretty much do everything all by myself. And since my kids were sick, I couldn’t have all of the company over which I had planned on because they all have kids and well I just didn’t feel like serving them great food along with a few cases of the flu as well.

I also made the mistake of watching the Pittsburgh Penguins hockey game in the early afternoon. They got blown out 3-0 against the Capitals so I guess that in addition to my kids being sick, this should have been the writing on the wall for my day.

I also would like to say that I blame Ms Miley for the loss of the game because she said last week that the Steelers would play like crap. You should check out her blog and leave her some damn hate comments on her blog as she is sometimes funny and she needs more readers.

I was also kind of disappointed in the Superbowl commercials. They seemed to lack imagination in my mind. I did like the “Bud Light home remodel”, the new VW beetle one, the “Pack it in the boot” from Mini Cooper, and the “House” one where they played off of the old Mean Joe Greene Coke commercial.

I was highly disappointed in the Pepsi one where the guy was saying out loud that he wanted to sleep with his date. Seriously Pepsi kids watch the damn Superbowl and are impressionable. Shame on your for showing that commercial because both of my kids saw it and laughed. I covered my kid’s eyes and ears during the Go Daddy commercials, but I didn’t think I had to do that with a fucking Pepsi commercial. So yea Pepsi I am done with you and my 15 year love affair with Mountain Dew now. You will get no more of my money, and I will lose 50 pounds as a result.

The real reason I am sad today is that the future of the NFL is uncertain. You see the greedy NFL owners and players can’t come to an agreement to come up with a new contract for the players. I think both sides are pissing me off and just being fucking greedy. Oh well if there is a lock out they will just have pissed off a lot of fans, me included. At least the colleges and high schools won’t have a lock out next football season.

But Sunday was not a complete wash; I got a Super Blog award from Peachy. I guess she thinks I have a Super Blog. I don’t think my blog is award worthy (especially one of this significance) maybe historians one day will judge me better than I judge myself.

The best part of my day came after the game as me and my kids sprawled out on the couch together and watched Airplane (the edited version for those of you who read my rant about the Pepsi commercial) together. There is no better way to end a rough sad day than to curl up with your kids and watch a classic comedy. I always say that humor is the best medicine.

I hoped all of you enjoyed my week of Superbowl posts that I posted all week long.

Yes Nikki this is my last Superbowl related post till next year so I hope you can sleep good tonight.

Best Superbowls

Well this is the last of my Superbowl week posts. And I saved the best for last, my top 5 Superbowls that I think are the best.

Number 5 – Superbowl 27 which had the Dallas Cowboys beating the Buffalo Bills. I liked this Superbowl because I was pissed that the Bills knocked the Houston Oilers out of the playoffs as I was hoping for an all Texas Superbowl. But that didn’t happen so it was great to watch the Bills get destroyed.



Number 4 – Superbowl 42 had the New York Giants beating the New England Patriots. Since I hate the Pats I was just happy to see them lose. David Tyre’s catch towards the end of the game is in my opinion the second greatest play in Superbowl history.



Number 3 – Superbowl 44 was the New Orleans Saints playing the Indianapolis Colts. I enjoyed this Superbowl because everyone in the media had picked the Colts to win and they didn’t even come ready to play. The Saints destroyed the Colts with superior play and coaching. And the win finally got the “monkey” off of the Saints back and made the city of New Orleans forget about Hurricane Katrina.



Number 2 – Superbowl 13 was my earliest Superbowl memory. It was a pivotal matchup between the Dallas Cowboys and the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers beat the Cowboys in a shootout that saw Terry Bradshaw throw four touchdown passes and was the games MVP. A lot of people have said over the years that Terry Bradshaw was a dumb quarterback, but if you look at some of the passes he threw and completed, he is a damn good quarterback.



Number 1 –Superbowl 43 was in my mind the best Superbowl ever. It was the Pittsburgh Steelers against the Arizona Cardinals. The Steelers played a great game and was able to pull off the win by going on a "length of the field" come from behind touchdown drive that ended with (in my opinion) was the greatest Superbowl play in history when Santonio Holmes caught the touchdown pass on his tippy toes to win the game. Also James Harrison ran an interception back for a touchdown 100 yards at the end of the first half which set a record for the longest touchdown play in Superbowl history. Even if you disagree with me on the ranking of this one, Santonio Holmes play at the end of the game has been ranked by a ton of people as the greatest play in Superbowl history.



So there is my list of the Top 5 best Superbowls. I hoped you enjoyed it and I hope you enjoyed my week of Superbowl nonsense.

Best Superbowl Halftime Shows

Since it is Superbowl week all week long here on my blog, I thought I would give you my list of the top 5 best Superbowl Halftime shows of all time.

Number 5 – I had to include Michael Jackson since this was at the peak of his career before he became an old creepy guy.



Number 4 – The Rolling Stones, enough said.



Number 3 – Now I know that he did the “pre-game” performance, but I love me Santana. And Michelle Branch is just drop dead beautiful so I threw it in here. And I love her voice.



Number 2 – I thought the tribute that U2 did to the events and victims of 9/11 was beyond very classy.



Number 1 – Nothing says “Divine” intervention better than this one. Prince was singing “Purple Rain” while it was raining and there were purple lights on. It was just meant to be.



Well there you have it, my list of the top 5 Superbowl halftime shows. Hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane.

Best Superbowl Commercials

In keeping with my theme of Superbowl for the week, I give you my top 5 favorite Superbowl commercials. I am sure that there are ones which you feel are better than these, but keep in mind this is my list and what I find funny.

Number 5 – This is the ad that Lindsay Lohan sued over. I still find it funny. Milka-what?



Number 4 – Who doesn’t like Betty White?



Number 3 – Terry Tate was hilarious in this commercial.You will have copy and paste the link for this one since the "embedding" was disabled.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbSpAsJSZPc

Number 2 – Now of course I had to have a Steelers related commercial on this list.



Number 1 – This one is hilarious. No comment is necessary for it, as it speaks for itself.



I hope you enjoyed this little list of my favorite Superbowl commercials.

Happy Groundhog Day

I would like to take a moment to tell you about one of my favorite days of the year, and that is February 2nd, which to us “Yankees” is Groundhog Day.

All the people who live up north in the United States know all about Groundhog day and swear by it, but some of you outside of the Northern part of our country (or outside of the United States even) may not be aware of this days actual vital importance dating back to the 18th century.

As some of you may have heard about, each year on February 2nd in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania the whole world descends on this tiny little town (two hours north of where I grew up) to see the ultimate weatherman. The town’s people drag a little furry guy (ie groundhog) out of a wooden stump. And according to legend if the groundhog (named Punxsutawney Phil) sees his shadow because it is sunny and clear outside, then that means he runs back inside his stump and proclaims there to be six more weeks of winter. However if the ground hog comes out and it is cloudy, then it means an early spring.

Basically in addition to the prediction of the end of winter, the town also has a huge festival to go along with Groundhog Day (think Mardi Gras but with Polka music, and no boobs shown for beads because it is too damn cold). The town parties for a week before and a few days afterwards. It really is a huge event. I want to travel there one day both during the festivities and during the summer when it is actually warm.

I am sure some of you are asking well what the hell does this have to do with the Superbowl since you said that all week you were posting about the Superbowl. Well I will tell you.

You see this morning Punxsutawney Phil came out of his wooden stump and saw a shadow. But it was not his shadow that he saw. Phil saw the shadow of the Lombardi Trophy (the trophy given to the winner of the Superbowl). Sometimes Phil predicts the outcome of the Superbowl in addition to the weather (in years that the Steelers are in the Superbowl). And this year he saw the shadow of the Lombardi Trophy. You see Phil is not just a weatherman, but he is also a Steelers fan since he lives in Pennsylvania.

Sorry my “Yankee” friends but the Steelers are winning the Superbowl and you have 6 more fucking weeks of global warming winter because Punxsutawney Phil saw a shadow.

I would also like to recommend that if you have not seen one of my favorite movies “Groundhog Day” then you need to go and watch it (why the fuck haven’t you seen this movie-it is FUCKING GREAT). It has Bill Murray in it and it is the best movie Bill Murray has ever done, and he has done some great ones. And if you saw the movie and didn’t like it, please remove the stick from your ass and go watch it again because it is fucking hilarious.

Great Inventions #4 – The Superbowl Edition

Well here is another in my series of Great Inventions that have come about during my lifetime. I didn’t invent these things, I am just writing about them to remind you my reader of their greatness. And this week we are focused on the Superbowl.

Big Screen Televisions.

Big screen televisions were invented solely for Superbowl Sunday. If you don’t believe me, then why is it that most of the televisions sold in America are sold in the two weeks before the Superbowl? Exactly, there is a reason for the large number of televisions sold in this country. The first reason is the Superbowl and all of the other reasons don’t matter to me. The big screen television was invented because everyone wanted to see the game on something bigger than a 36” television. This guy who invented the big screen is my hero and I don’t even know who he is (although it would be funny if he were Japanese and didn’t even like football).



Instant Replay.

Now I know some of you are thinking that instant replay is not a good thing, but I think it is. I would rather have a blown call on the field get reversed by instant replay even if it goes against my team as long as it was the correct call. Hell if instant replay existed back in the 1970’s, the “immaculate reception” would have never have happened as it would have been called back. But needless to say most of the time, instant replay gets it correct in the NFL. If it were not for instant replay I am pretty sure the refs would have blown the best catch ever in Superbowl history two years ago when Santonio Holmes caught that ball in the corner of the end zone which allowed the Steelers to win it with 45 seconds to go. Enough said.


 Inflatable Chairs.

Now if you have never watched a Superbowl from an inflatable chair, then you just ain’t living your life correctly. Back when I was a young college bachelor, I went through tons of these chairs. They even got better as the years went on. Some models started including beer holders in the arms of them. The companies who made them even started using better materials so that they lasted longer. I went at least eight straight years with one of these in my apartment. They are cheap, easy to move, and make for great pranks when you want to push someone out of a chair during the game.




Helmet Salsa Holders.

There is no better a way to put salsa or cheese dip in than a football helmet. You can incorporate your favorite team into your snacking during the big game. They literally have hundreds of different football teams helmets made into salsa holders. Not only are you supporting your team with one of these helmets, but you don’t have to get up as many times to refill it since it holds a lot of salsa.


Women.

I know what you are thinking here, "Hey Trash, women weren’t invented during your lifetime." Yes I am aware of that fact, but someone has to do the cooking of all the damn food for the big game. And for this fact alone, women are a great Superbowl invention. 








Well there you have it, another post in my series of great inventions.

(By the way, the part about the women is a joke for those of you without a sense of humor.)

Superbowl Traditions

Well it is the week before the Superbowl here in America, and to honor the holiest of days in my world (ie Superbowl Sunday) I will make all my posts this week Superbowl related. And this post is about my Superbowl traditions.

When I was a kid my whole Superbowl experience consisted of watching the game and eating whatever fucking concoxition (boiled crap soup-what kid wants to eat that shit) that my mother would make as family and friends of the family would be over. But that was not the great part of the day, the great part of the day consisted of me mixing drinks (scotch on the rocks) for my drunken dad. So I never really got to enjoy the games very much as a kid since I was playing bartender.

After my parents got divorced my Superbowl experience was limited to me making food for the game with whatever my mom had in the house. And since my mother hates football, well she never felt it was worth the $100 worth of food to get all of the good stuff for the game. She would make shit like baked fish with rice and broccoli. Who eats healthy food for the Superbowl? The Superbowl by-laws clearly dictate that you have to eat artery clogging foods with the game or you can’t watch it. So needless to say that my childhood Superbowl experiences weren’t anything to write home about, especially since I never could truly enjoy the big game as it is supposed to be enjoyed.

Once I got thrown out of my mom’s house I was able to at least enjoy the Superbowl when it came to food quality. I found the joys of beer, Doritos with salsa, wings, and all the other great foods that are often associated with the great game. One year while I was in college the seafood guy in the grocery store I worked at, decided it would be a good idea to drain the live lobster tank and clean it out. But the dumb fuck forgot to check to make sure that he had the salt water mix to fill the tank again, which we did not have. So he had to steam all the lobsters and sell them off CHEAP. So I put six lobsters in the back cooler (they were $5 each for a whole lobster) and kept them until I got off before game time so I could enjoy them. When I got them home I threw their red asses on the grill to heat them up and melted some butter. It was the best Superbowl food moment I have ever had. I ate six whole lobsters with a baked potato, melted butter, and a 12 pack of beer. I was living the High Life (if you don’t know that where that term comes from then you need to watch more beer commercials).

As I got older, got married and had kids my Superbowl Sunday consisted of cooking tons of food at home. Homemade queso cheese dip with breakfast sausage mixed in, mini sausages cooked in the crock pot with bbq sauce, wings, pizza rolls, celery sticks, mini carrots with homemade ranch dip, a big ass cheese ball and crackers, and tons of other stuff were on the table for the game. We would all get together and have family and friends over for the game the delicious food that we would serve.

Now that I am divorced, not much has changed. I still have friends and family over to watch the game. I even have my ex over for the game as well (hey someone has to cook all the food). Me, my kids, and my brother all congregate in the living room with heaps of food to watch the game. And that is exactly what I will be doing this Sunday. I even set up another tv in the house for my kids to watch Animal Planet as they have the “Puppy Bowl”.

I also watch all of the Superbowl commercials as they are usually pretty damn funny. If you have never watched the commercials that air during the Superbowl, then there is something wrong with you. Watch them. Seriously, almost all of them are really funny.

The most important thing to Superbowl Sunday is the damn game in and of itself. Most years of my life my Pittsburgh Steelers have not been in the Superbowl. But they are in the game this year which means my smoke breaks will all be during the commercials so I will most likely miss the commercials. If this Superbowl with my team is anything like the one from two years ago, then I will be screaming and yelling and cussing to the tv telling it “get your fat fucking ass to the endzone” (actually what I said when James Harrison was in the middle of his 100 yard td interception return 2 years ago). Needless to say I love this game and my team. And this year both my team and this game are one and the same.

I guess what I am saying to you is that my Superbowl traditions are to have a lot of very unhealthy food, have friends and family over, and enjoy the game. Plain and simple is best for me since I am a fairly simple guy who is easily pleased. Even if you don’t like football or the teams in the Superbowl, you should partake in this holy day of American sports.