I have this one thing to do but sampai la ni tak siap2 lagi. Once i hand it in to my SV, probably then i can take a few days off. Meanwhile, everything else has to be put on hold. Ini termasuklah acara2 berjumpa kengkawan, desperate hoswipe cousins or do things i normally like doing like mengabihkan duit sendiri (of course kalau dapat mengabiskan duit laki lagi ecstasy kan?) Anyway, di sebalik me being very selfish with my time, it'd be a lot of help if makhluk2 kenit do not decide to berjaga malam just because hidung sumbat then dua2 main cak2 dari pukul 2pagi sehingga ayam berkokok. Bagus tak kita yg sayangkan laki ni decided to amuse the kids kerana kesiankan laki yg kononnya kena masuk kerja the next day (and he hasn't got his own office AND a couch to have a snooze)so biarlah dia yg tidur and tengok2 he was on leave anyway???! (macam mana le kau boleh tahan tak berlaki Esah oi especially diaorg ni la yg menambahkan perisa (dan tuba) kepada kehidupan seorang pompuan melayu terakhir).And we have to drive all the way to our office because we need sometime away from home to kononnya do some work but the couch at our office beckoned and in the end satu kerja pun tak dapat buat? Then ada pulak puak2 yg nak makan best ajak pi KayLCC and pi la ke kedai Pencuci Mulut ni...really the opposite of makan banyak..the creme brulee came in mangkuk yg ukur lilit besar sikit dari hidung i and it was 8 inggit. Sepanjang makan tu mulut i dok mengomel kat my friend yg rekomenkan kedai tu, the fact that i don't mind paying for the price but boleh tak portion besar sikit? Ni nak kena makan 5 crepes baru rasa puas hati.
Dah tu, ada pulak sorang kawan ni (set2 yg cuma timbul masa cuti sekolah) sms mintak tolong tengok kan anak2 dia. ye lah sempena cuti sekolah (oi! lagi 2 minggu nak bukak baru nak contact i ke?). i could have said, err sorry, i can't squeeze your kids in anywhere because it's a bit too short a notice and i don't see clients anymore because i'm on study leave. Before i went to have a shower, i was tempted to send that type of sms, but keluar dari shower, i pulak hantar sms apologising that i can only see them this Thurs, so sorry takde hari lain? I am such a wooz! Why can't i just be mean??
My bro sms me 2 weeks ago saying this NY jom pi makan seafood. FYI, the last two 3 day weekends have seen me dok ngadap my laptop and papers. I'm so not in the mood to socialise when my work tak siap2 lagi ni. I boleh terbayang when we meet up he's gonna tell this joke bangang lagi puaka yg why is it that even though my job only involves me to fiddle with these 32 small 'items' i take such a longgggg time to complete my studies? (oh sorry, kalau bebudak lagi sikit, ada 20 je). Pas tu gelak2 macam funny sangat. (padan muka 3 minggu lepas one of his 32 'items' sakit and memang dia rasa cam nak mati sangat dah. Belum lagi expect dia beranak tanpa epidural kan? So i replied his sms, we'll see if i finish my work in time. Pas tu dia cakap, ala, apa susah sangat? makan, sembang2 pas tu baliklah. Hmm..camna nak cakap yg i don't want any company RIGHT NOW or do any socialising save for a few people yg tak menaikkan darah i (ppssstttt..Miss AA, engkau sudah boleh kunyah ka? i fancy some hummus kat kedai pak arab belakang rumah kau)
I so want to be TaylorSwift right now: Romeo take me somehwere where we can be alone (or something like thatlah she said)..
Tapi ni Romeo i dia yg nak alone2 shopping and tido...seriously Esah, apsal la ko tak berlaki?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Finally
Yeah, yeah...i know...this telenovela is becoming a pain in my arse..hehe. Selalu rasa guilty bila nak update. But the mood isn’t always there. Firstly because banyak lagi tugasan lain yg tak siap2..plus, lepas that fall out with the siamang, obviously la nak dapat mood balik utk tidak mengingatkan pada benda2 yg menyakitkan hati tu susahkan? Anyway, it’s 2 more days to christmas. Mintak maap banyak2..tiada unsur2 syirik di sini but Christmas time always transfer me back to negara benggali putih. Dengan berdozen2 cite ala2 christmas yakni it’s all about love, forgiving, families being together, miracles as opposed to our ‘pondok buruk’, rosyam noor buta (or is it gila?), nangis tak berenti2, anak durhaka, mak mati celik bijik mati or lawak2 yg tak kelakar. All those Xmas movies on tv then would keep me occupied being sebatang kara kat sana, no one to cuddle up to (kucing kurap pun takde!), kengkawan/colleagues semua balik kampung masing2 and the lack of shops that stay opened (except newsagent kipas yg mahal nak mampuih) or public transport. Somehow, kengkadang terasa di hati cam nak go back to that place, that time...tempat jatuh lagi dikenang, kan?
Ok enough with the selingan...christmas time 9 years ago was most eventful, to say the least. Only 3 years before that, on Boxing Day, siamang dumped me (masa tu bulan pose kalau ikut bulan islamnya la). Well, according to him, he didn’t dump me, ‘we mutually called it off’. Ceh! Kalau dah jantan yg you berpacaran lebih setengah dekad idak gak nak move forward, that means he’s just not into you, kan? Well, not really into you sampai nak jadikan you suri di hatinya (yg will end up masak, jaga anak dan sewaktu dgnnya and will end up si suri ni mengutuk lakinya jugak nanti, chenta tak chenta pun).
So 9 years ago, 2 days to Xmas i pun berkejar ke travel agent kat sekolah i masa lunch. Sib baik i datang masa tu because they were closing after lunch. In fact ada keluar notice CLOSED lagi but i banged on their windows. Sib baik the agent pun memang ternanti2 for me to come to collect my ticket. Kalau tak, takde le cite telenovela madras mari ni. I think it was the last Friday before Xmas. So the ticket to tempat Siamang was secured..btw esah, aku naik BM tau kan easypeasy jet. Kopak gak la pocket student ku masa tu. Kalau i kumpul la semua duit yg i laburkan kat british mercury, british rail, ring ring card, tiket katebang etc. i boleh buat downpayment rumah kat ulu kuang nun tau! So the next day, i board a mid morning flight. Dalam hati gedebak gedebuk...one because i risau once i reached Ffurt, i have to get on a bus to where he was and it was an hour away. Two, ye la, nak jumpa balik dgn jantan yg merobek hati kita, pijak2 pas tu kutip bagi balik kat kita (damn, i am a sucker for punishment).
When i reached my destination, it was already dark walaupun baru kul 3 petang. It was Xmas eve. I turun je dari bas, there he was, tercegat (idak le dia buat aksi2 nyorok belakang tiang ke). It was bloody awkward. He took me to the Xmas market..and bought me some cheese (dengar tu Esah..me n cheese, tak boleh dipisahkan). Then he took me back to his place. He was sharing this apartment with another guy from his office (in Msia) whom i knew and he had his wife with him for the hols. I segan jugak because that guy knew our history, macam terngiang2 di telinga mungkin dia cakap, apa le minah ni nak lagi kan? But i guess, masa zaman muda2 dolu, we take chances kan? Lantak pi apa org nak cakap, janji i never want to live the rest of my life wondering ‘what if?’
We didn’t do much on Xmas day (nothing to do also) except pi makan kedai Turki, he cooked nasi biryani and he showed me around town. I found out that he was seeing somebody. Akhirnya tecapai jugak cita2nya nak berpacaran dgn budak mentah yg masih belajar kat IPTA yg masa tu belum bertaraf universiti lagi. I asked him, cemana you boleh start ngan budak tu? He said someone tried to matchmake kan dia dgn kakak budak tu and cemana tah dia boleh tersangkut ngan adik pulak. He also said that among all the girls he dated, minah ni je yg ada staying power..maknanya takdelah dia nak blah anytime and that suited him. Malas i nak cakap kalau budak yg ada 2G element camtu (genit n gedik) memang la ada staying power...sapa taknak brag ngan kengkawan yg she’s going out with a working man yg much older...the fact that pergi dating dapat makan buffet kat hotel or paling koman masuk restoran mamak yg beraircond rather than balik2 restoran FC kat kompleks tu je? Ish jahatnya aku ni..But what the hell was he doing with me?
Actuallynya, kitaorg sempat bergaduh lagi tu...dua hari dua malam tak bertegur sapa. Tapi yg kelakarnya still pergi sightseeing sama2 because of course i takkan nak membazir duit i terperap je kat rumah dah datang jauh2 tu. We argued like we always did and that time it was about benda2 yg tak puas hati when we were still together (see the pattern? Ada je issue yg tak habis2). Bila mengenangkan yg i only have a few days at his place, bukannya sebulan dua, we made peace. We went to Heidelberg and tah mana lagi i can’t remember the name of the places. We had more turkish food (tu je yg halal kat situ gamaknya), went shopping, looked at some swans, watched at the falling snow from his apartment’s balcony and it was time for me to leave.
So what the heck, for one last time (berpuluh kali dah one last time nya), i told him. We had fun, obviously ‘something’ is still there..so choose me, pick me, love me bak kata Meredith Gray on Gray’s Anatomy. I cakap yg tinggal 9 bulan je lagi before i finish my masters. I cakap pejam celik pejam celik the last year went so quickly, so what is another 9 months? He said dia tak sanggup...anything can happen within that time. That was what he said before i left for the UK a year before. I supposed if he had agreed, i would have had him commit...no more pasang gopren sana sini and he knew that was the way with me. I accepted that was it...all the way from his place to the airport, airmata i turun cam air terjun. In a way i knew takde apa yg nak ditunggu lagi. With him i developed thick skin, i asked him twice but he said no. You can’t really force someone to have you. My sis pernah cakap kalau kitaorg ni ada jodoh, it wouldn’t be so damn hard. Before i left, he told me that he’d be back in Germany in April for 2 weeks. This time round he didn’t get in touch with me (sib baik!). Last2 i dengar he got engaged to that 2G girl. I got back dgn mata yg bengkak. My BFF came up for the hols so new year was bearable. I went home for 10 days during Easter hols just to bakar, buang all his letters, cards, cassettes (kalau dulu tak dub lagu memang tak sah). My BFF said that ‘cleansing ritual’ is vital if you need to move on and that’s what i did. Oh yeah, during that hols jugak MG came over to meet my parents and the rest is history
P/S Two weeks before i got married, siamang came over to my house. He was still not married then He said that letting me go was the biggest mistake he’d ever made. Pperghh!
Ok enough with the selingan...christmas time 9 years ago was most eventful, to say the least. Only 3 years before that, on Boxing Day, siamang dumped me (masa tu bulan pose kalau ikut bulan islamnya la). Well, according to him, he didn’t dump me, ‘we mutually called it off’. Ceh! Kalau dah jantan yg you berpacaran lebih setengah dekad idak gak nak move forward, that means he’s just not into you, kan? Well, not really into you sampai nak jadikan you suri di hatinya (yg will end up masak, jaga anak dan sewaktu dgnnya and will end up si suri ni mengutuk lakinya jugak nanti, chenta tak chenta pun).
So 9 years ago, 2 days to Xmas i pun berkejar ke travel agent kat sekolah i masa lunch. Sib baik i datang masa tu because they were closing after lunch. In fact ada keluar notice CLOSED lagi but i banged on their windows. Sib baik the agent pun memang ternanti2 for me to come to collect my ticket. Kalau tak, takde le cite telenovela madras mari ni. I think it was the last Friday before Xmas. So the ticket to tempat Siamang was secured..btw esah, aku naik BM tau kan easypeasy jet. Kopak gak la pocket student ku masa tu. Kalau i kumpul la semua duit yg i laburkan kat british mercury, british rail, ring ring card, tiket katebang etc. i boleh buat downpayment rumah kat ulu kuang nun tau! So the next day, i board a mid morning flight. Dalam hati gedebak gedebuk...one because i risau once i reached Ffurt, i have to get on a bus to where he was and it was an hour away. Two, ye la, nak jumpa balik dgn jantan yg merobek hati kita, pijak2 pas tu kutip bagi balik kat kita (damn, i am a sucker for punishment).
When i reached my destination, it was already dark walaupun baru kul 3 petang. It was Xmas eve. I turun je dari bas, there he was, tercegat (idak le dia buat aksi2 nyorok belakang tiang ke). It was bloody awkward. He took me to the Xmas market..and bought me some cheese (dengar tu Esah..me n cheese, tak boleh dipisahkan). Then he took me back to his place. He was sharing this apartment with another guy from his office (in Msia) whom i knew and he had his wife with him for the hols. I segan jugak because that guy knew our history, macam terngiang2 di telinga mungkin dia cakap, apa le minah ni nak lagi kan? But i guess, masa zaman muda2 dolu, we take chances kan? Lantak pi apa org nak cakap, janji i never want to live the rest of my life wondering ‘what if?’
We didn’t do much on Xmas day (nothing to do also) except pi makan kedai Turki, he cooked nasi biryani and he showed me around town. I found out that he was seeing somebody. Akhirnya tecapai jugak cita2nya nak berpacaran dgn budak mentah yg masih belajar kat IPTA yg masa tu belum bertaraf universiti lagi. I asked him, cemana you boleh start ngan budak tu? He said someone tried to matchmake kan dia dgn kakak budak tu and cemana tah dia boleh tersangkut ngan adik pulak. He also said that among all the girls he dated, minah ni je yg ada staying power..maknanya takdelah dia nak blah anytime and that suited him. Malas i nak cakap kalau budak yg ada 2G element camtu (genit n gedik) memang la ada staying power...sapa taknak brag ngan kengkawan yg she’s going out with a working man yg much older...the fact that pergi dating dapat makan buffet kat hotel or paling koman masuk restoran mamak yg beraircond rather than balik2 restoran FC kat kompleks tu je? Ish jahatnya aku ni..But what the hell was he doing with me?
Actuallynya, kitaorg sempat bergaduh lagi tu...dua hari dua malam tak bertegur sapa. Tapi yg kelakarnya still pergi sightseeing sama2 because of course i takkan nak membazir duit i terperap je kat rumah dah datang jauh2 tu. We argued like we always did and that time it was about benda2 yg tak puas hati when we were still together (see the pattern? Ada je issue yg tak habis2). Bila mengenangkan yg i only have a few days at his place, bukannya sebulan dua, we made peace. We went to Heidelberg and tah mana lagi i can’t remember the name of the places. We had more turkish food (tu je yg halal kat situ gamaknya), went shopping, looked at some swans, watched at the falling snow from his apartment’s balcony and it was time for me to leave.
So what the heck, for one last time (berpuluh kali dah one last time nya), i told him. We had fun, obviously ‘something’ is still there..so choose me, pick me, love me bak kata Meredith Gray on Gray’s Anatomy. I cakap yg tinggal 9 bulan je lagi before i finish my masters. I cakap pejam celik pejam celik the last year went so quickly, so what is another 9 months? He said dia tak sanggup...anything can happen within that time. That was what he said before i left for the UK a year before. I supposed if he had agreed, i would have had him commit...no more pasang gopren sana sini and he knew that was the way with me. I accepted that was it...all the way from his place to the airport, airmata i turun cam air terjun. In a way i knew takde apa yg nak ditunggu lagi. With him i developed thick skin, i asked him twice but he said no. You can’t really force someone to have you. My sis pernah cakap kalau kitaorg ni ada jodoh, it wouldn’t be so damn hard. Before i left, he told me that he’d be back in Germany in April for 2 weeks. This time round he didn’t get in touch with me (sib baik!). Last2 i dengar he got engaged to that 2G girl. I got back dgn mata yg bengkak. My BFF came up for the hols so new year was bearable. I went home for 10 days during Easter hols just to bakar, buang all his letters, cards, cassettes (kalau dulu tak dub lagu memang tak sah). My BFF said that ‘cleansing ritual’ is vital if you need to move on and that’s what i did. Oh yeah, during that hols jugak MG came over to meet my parents and the rest is history
P/S Two weeks before i got married, siamang came over to my house. He was still not married then He said that letting me go was the biggest mistake he’d ever made. Pperghh!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Mood bengang
I have been busy and yes, stressed out. Dah la tu kan, hari ni mood tak baik, rupa2nya kawan baik yg dah lama tak menjenguk (agaknya hilang sebab stress jugak) tiba tanpa bagi warning dulu. Perut keroncong sebab sibuk mengadap laptop sampai tak ingat nak makan. Then the smell of pizza wafting into my room menambahkan lapar lagi...rupa2nya neighbour sebelah (kat office la) order pizza. But kengkadang perangai orang kat sini ngalahkan kat tadika lagi: i kawan baik dgn you, so you tak leh kawan baik dgn org lain. Kita fren2 duaorg je...Get it? It doesn’t matter that the decent thing to do is to pelawa jugak org yg tercium bau ni kan?? Lagipun, bukannya kita pernah gaduh ke apa, kan? But ni because ‘we all dua org fren2’ la ni and 3’s company. Pas tu boleh lak ada org dari London sinun buat joke bangang on pesbuk pasal me needing attention???! Haaa? Aku kecik hati tau! (dah la pizza memang makanan kegemaran i). So i packed up my stuff, left and went home.
Anyway, i wanted to hand in my research proposal last week. My SV cam tau2 je, dia hantar email asking everyone under his supervision to come and meet him for a short presentation. So i cam kembang kincup hidung boleh bayang betapa bangganya i nak menyerahkan benda tu finally, the next day. So the day before i spent a marathon of 8 hours dok menaip benda tu tanpa henti. I took a break during late afternoon and ingat nak bega2 sikit before i turned in that night...so what do you know? My netbook crashed! Tak leh bukak langsung! And i kan terlebih optimistic..i didn’t back up my work! So all 8 pages and 8 hours of work went down the drain. Ingin ku humbankan je netbook HancurPunah tu. Keluar semua peluh jantantino, berdoa bercupak tapi apa nak buat, nasik dah jadi bubur. All i could do that night was to write down whatever i could remember and esoknya awal pagi lagi dah masuk office pasal nak retrieve my old Bell laptop (yang selalu i ingat dol je tapi berjasa jugak dia ngan i). Meeting yg kononnya petang dipercepatkan sejam lagi pulak..aisey man! I could only reproduce the methodology part je..intro langsung gone. But must be my doa bercupak tu, my SV was in a good mood....so i didn’t get slaughtered.
Ituje la citenya..
Anyway, i wanted to hand in my research proposal last week. My SV cam tau2 je, dia hantar email asking everyone under his supervision to come and meet him for a short presentation. So i cam kembang kincup hidung boleh bayang betapa bangganya i nak menyerahkan benda tu finally, the next day. So the day before i spent a marathon of 8 hours dok menaip benda tu tanpa henti. I took a break during late afternoon and ingat nak bega2 sikit before i turned in that night...so what do you know? My netbook crashed! Tak leh bukak langsung! And i kan terlebih optimistic..i didn’t back up my work! So all 8 pages and 8 hours of work went down the drain. Ingin ku humbankan je netbook HancurPunah tu. Keluar semua peluh jantantino, berdoa bercupak tapi apa nak buat, nasik dah jadi bubur. All i could do that night was to write down whatever i could remember and esoknya awal pagi lagi dah masuk office pasal nak retrieve my old Bell laptop (yang selalu i ingat dol je tapi berjasa jugak dia ngan i). Meeting yg kononnya petang dipercepatkan sejam lagi pulak..aisey man! I could only reproduce the methodology part je..intro langsung gone. But must be my doa bercupak tu, my SV was in a good mood....so i didn’t get slaughtered.
Ituje la citenya..
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Monogamy
Shame on you TigerWoods! Apa nak dikatakan lagi? Nasik dah jadi bubur lambuk (yum yum). Esah has written about this and i'd like to add my 2cents.
I'm sure he's feeling very sorry because he got caught and shamed. Kalau idak tu, mau selagi terdaya nak angkat secupak beras (kata opah i)he'd be swinging his tool wherever and with whomever he pleases (of course la Esah and i kecik ati we were not on his list, kan Esah??). What is it with men? What do you guys want actually? According to my once upon a time org minyak friend, he said, men are easy to please. Good food on the table and...of course he didn't finish the sentence but it'd probably sound something like 'good sex in bed' or wherever one fancylah kan. I don't think men are monogamous in nature. Serial monogamy yes..Tak usah haraplah diaorg ibaratkan burung swan atau pigeon or lobster yg will mate for life (watched too much Nat Geo). I'm sure when they say 'i do' or 'aku terima nikahnya', they mean it wholeheartedly but along the way, there are many more fish in the sea to kail, many more flowers to smell...ibarat Monty yg makan biskut kucing kering..memang berkhasiat with all the vitamins lah what have you, but cuba campak ikan tongkol rebus kat dia...bye bye biskut! It doesn't matter that the latter cuma sedap tang tu je tapi takde all the extra vits and minerals that he needs and certainly in the long run buat dia jadi overweight (don't i know it). How many men yg kita tau dump their good, dependable, takde cacat cela wives for a bimbo?
Sometimes we see a couple that makes us wonder. The wife's successful, easy on the eyes, takde le pulak nampak ciri2 suaminya kena mentally or physically abused, but the husband still pasang lain. Obviously being a guy yg tak gentleman (kalau dah sorok2 and tipu bini namanya gedikman, bukan gentle) dia akan cakap bini sibuk selalu takde kat rumah. Kalau yg dapat bini dok rumah pulak, si jantan akan cakap bini tak pandai bergaya. Bini pakai lipstick kat rumah kang kata nak mengorat si mamat afghanistan jual carpet or paling kurang pun panggil bini gila. Pastu pulak ada yg jenis anak setaun sekor pasal nak tunjuk betapa gagahnya si laki but bila dah nampak org lain akan cakap stretchmarks macam caramel pudding yg pecahlah, lubang dah looselah, *toot* dah loyotlah whatever lagilah. Why can't men just admit it to the wife or say it this way, 'yes, i was in love with you when we got married, yes, i still love you now (just) but what to do i also terfall in love lah with this other woman. You have been as good a wife as i've been a husband'. habis cerita. If your wife can accept it and even see the humour in it, bagus. Kalau dah kena kapak and kolluinna, at least you die a gentleman and not a spineless cicakman.
Many, many years ago when i was still in the UK, i attended a friend's wedding. The groom was a catholic and you know, diaorg i supposedly tak leh divorce2 (shame on you also MelGibson yg kononnya RC tu). Mendengarkan sermon si priest prior to akad nikah membuatkan i berfikir panjang...he said 'to fall in love is an emotion but to stay in love is a decision'.
How many of us when we get married make the decision that for better or for worse, this is it. You know make a conscious effort to keep a marriage...it doesn't mean setakat put food on the table, clothes on the back etc. Yes we may start off dengan cita2 murni tu but after a while, we take the other partner for granted and not make an effort anymore. Ibaratkan pokok...dok siram je hari2, tak bagi baja (love), tak potong daun yg kering (bad stuff), tak ganti tanah baru bila tanah dlm pasu tu dah keras (tak try to revive)..yes..the plant will soldier on but just..tengoklah pokok tu kurus melidi, daun tak banyak and so sorry looking. Then datang roundup (org ketiga haha), mampus terus! Yes, you think you all je ke yg get bored with married life? You all je yg tertanya2 is this it? Women pun ada, but probably we think less about it because sibuk mengejar anak sana sini, hantar tuition, hantar sekolah, pi kerja, balik masak (or instruct bibik masak), pi buat groceries (or service kereta hehe) and also tengok bebudak cukup ke baju sekolahnya, comot ke, demam ke etc. It's hard work OK! I'm sorry if i tak bersimpati dgn you all punya mid-life crisis atau persoalan 'is this it' tadi.
My close friend just came back from a course yg ada acara2 dlm kelas and also masuk hutan. Apparently ada la mamat ni yg dok so attentive towards her needs lah. My friend's married, so what with some harmless flirtations. It is harmless because she knows the limit..this guy who's also a professional, slightly younger but could tell he got married early (right after bersunat hehe) because anak dah berderet and dah masuk sekolah pun.I'm sure he was also enjoying the flirtations...apparently he was the perfect gentleman lah, masa jungle tracking made sure my friend ni tak jatuh dalam lopak la etc. She is attractive, so which guy yg tak kembang dapat rub shoulders ngan dia kan? I said to my friend, i've seen guys yg oooo so gentleman kat kawan2 pompuannya tapi dgn bini, main lagi cam langit dgn bumi...(ada org tu tengah memboyot 8 bulan pun lakinya lagi sanggup drivekan kawan pompuan dia ke KL and not the wife, OK! Sampaikan org tu trauma nak pregnant lagi bukan sebab sakit nak bersalin ke, kena belah ke, kena banyak cucuk ke but kerana perangai lakinya yg sungguh tak sensitif ngalahkan vontot gajah. Anyway, ni cite lain, sorry..emo pulak). What if my friend were single and memang harapkan lebih dpd kawan setakat pukul2 nyamuk ni? Nantikang adalah yg terjatuh hatilah, jatuh cintalah...and yes, falling in love tu kan best. Tak yah makan, tak yah mandi tapi bertenaga je and perasan bau badan wangi..kalau tak pun, dok diam2 tapi mulut menyeringai je (org kampung i kata menyerongen).
So, kesimpulannya, tepuk dada tanya selera. Kalau sanggup tanggung the consequences, buatlah kan. Tapi jangan le lepas tu buat2 muka sedih keluar sokhabar dgn kenyataan 'i love my wife' lah etc. Pas tu bawak pi makan angin and buat anak cam siBeckham tu.
I'm sure he's feeling very sorry because he got caught and shamed. Kalau idak tu, mau selagi terdaya nak angkat secupak beras (kata opah i)he'd be swinging his tool wherever and with whomever he pleases (of course la Esah and i kecik ati we were not on his list, kan Esah??). What is it with men? What do you guys want actually? According to my once upon a time org minyak friend, he said, men are easy to please. Good food on the table and...of course he didn't finish the sentence but it'd probably sound something like 'good sex in bed' or wherever one fancylah kan. I don't think men are monogamous in nature. Serial monogamy yes..Tak usah haraplah diaorg ibaratkan burung swan atau pigeon or lobster yg will mate for life (watched too much Nat Geo). I'm sure when they say 'i do' or 'aku terima nikahnya', they mean it wholeheartedly but along the way, there are many more fish in the sea to kail, many more flowers to smell...ibarat Monty yg makan biskut kucing kering..memang berkhasiat with all the vitamins lah what have you, but cuba campak ikan tongkol rebus kat dia...bye bye biskut! It doesn't matter that the latter cuma sedap tang tu je tapi takde all the extra vits and minerals that he needs and certainly in the long run buat dia jadi overweight (don't i know it). How many men yg kita tau dump their good, dependable, takde cacat cela wives for a bimbo?
Sometimes we see a couple that makes us wonder. The wife's successful, easy on the eyes, takde le pulak nampak ciri2 suaminya kena mentally or physically abused, but the husband still pasang lain. Obviously being a guy yg tak gentleman (kalau dah sorok2 and tipu bini namanya gedikman, bukan gentle) dia akan cakap bini sibuk selalu takde kat rumah. Kalau yg dapat bini dok rumah pulak, si jantan akan cakap bini tak pandai bergaya. Bini pakai lipstick kat rumah kang kata nak mengorat si mamat afghanistan jual carpet or paling kurang pun panggil bini gila. Pastu pulak ada yg jenis anak setaun sekor pasal nak tunjuk betapa gagahnya si laki but bila dah nampak org lain akan cakap stretchmarks macam caramel pudding yg pecahlah, lubang dah looselah, *toot* dah loyotlah whatever lagilah. Why can't men just admit it to the wife or say it this way, 'yes, i was in love with you when we got married, yes, i still love you now (just) but what to do i also terfall in love lah with this other woman. You have been as good a wife as i've been a husband'. habis cerita. If your wife can accept it and even see the humour in it, bagus. Kalau dah kena kapak and kolluinna, at least you die a gentleman and not a spineless cicakman.
Many, many years ago when i was still in the UK, i attended a friend's wedding. The groom was a catholic and you know, diaorg i supposedly tak leh divorce2 (shame on you also MelGibson yg kononnya RC tu). Mendengarkan sermon si priest prior to akad nikah membuatkan i berfikir panjang...he said 'to fall in love is an emotion but to stay in love is a decision'.
How many of us when we get married make the decision that for better or for worse, this is it. You know make a conscious effort to keep a marriage...it doesn't mean setakat put food on the table, clothes on the back etc. Yes we may start off dengan cita2 murni tu but after a while, we take the other partner for granted and not make an effort anymore. Ibaratkan pokok...dok siram je hari2, tak bagi baja (love), tak potong daun yg kering (bad stuff), tak ganti tanah baru bila tanah dlm pasu tu dah keras (tak try to revive)..yes..the plant will soldier on but just..tengoklah pokok tu kurus melidi, daun tak banyak and so sorry looking. Then datang roundup (org ketiga haha), mampus terus! Yes, you think you all je ke yg get bored with married life? You all je yg tertanya2 is this it? Women pun ada, but probably we think less about it because sibuk mengejar anak sana sini, hantar tuition, hantar sekolah, pi kerja, balik masak (or instruct bibik masak), pi buat groceries (or service kereta hehe) and also tengok bebudak cukup ke baju sekolahnya, comot ke, demam ke etc. It's hard work OK! I'm sorry if i tak bersimpati dgn you all punya mid-life crisis atau persoalan 'is this it' tadi.
My close friend just came back from a course yg ada acara2 dlm kelas and also masuk hutan. Apparently ada la mamat ni yg dok so attentive towards her needs lah. My friend's married, so what with some harmless flirtations. It is harmless because she knows the limit..this guy who's also a professional, slightly younger but could tell he got married early (right after bersunat hehe) because anak dah berderet and dah masuk sekolah pun.I'm sure he was also enjoying the flirtations...apparently he was the perfect gentleman lah, masa jungle tracking made sure my friend ni tak jatuh dalam lopak la etc. She is attractive, so which guy yg tak kembang dapat rub shoulders ngan dia kan? I said to my friend, i've seen guys yg oooo so gentleman kat kawan2 pompuannya tapi dgn bini, main lagi cam langit dgn bumi...(ada org tu tengah memboyot 8 bulan pun lakinya lagi sanggup drivekan kawan pompuan dia ke KL and not the wife, OK! Sampaikan org tu trauma nak pregnant lagi bukan sebab sakit nak bersalin ke, kena belah ke, kena banyak cucuk ke but kerana perangai lakinya yg sungguh tak sensitif ngalahkan vontot gajah. Anyway, ni cite lain, sorry..emo pulak). What if my friend were single and memang harapkan lebih dpd kawan setakat pukul2 nyamuk ni? Nantikang adalah yg terjatuh hatilah, jatuh cintalah...and yes, falling in love tu kan best. Tak yah makan, tak yah mandi tapi bertenaga je and perasan bau badan wangi..kalau tak pun, dok diam2 tapi mulut menyeringai je (org kampung i kata menyerongen).
So, kesimpulannya, tepuk dada tanya selera. Kalau sanggup tanggung the consequences, buatlah kan. Tapi jangan le lepas tu buat2 muka sedih keluar sokhabar dgn kenyataan 'i love my wife' lah etc. Pas tu bawak pi makan angin and buat anak cam siBeckham tu.
Update
I've been so busy with you know what. Merasa si Lukmang masuk blog i buang2 sawang in his french maid costume..hehe. My SV cakap, get something down on paper NOW don't just read, read, read...but i ni jenis suka read, read, read...sekali baca satu article will exponentially beranak ke 4,5 papers yang lain because each time i find an interesting one from the list of references, i have to have it. Lebih2 lagi sekarang ni nearly all journals are available online and pas tu boleh download and print (sorry pokok2...i know we're meant to be paperless tapi i still takleh baca atas skrin je, i nak conteng2 kat tepi jugak. When i get my degree i'll make it up by planting some trees or sponsor mana2 ada tree planting activity OK?)
Ni baru early stage of the whole thing but the sacrifices can be seen:
1. I spent my birthday, at home, calculating my sample size, OK?! Tak teringat pun nak berfoya2. Oleh tak kerana cake yg laki i beli the night before i might have forgotten about it totally. Cake saja, you'd want to say. But according to MG when he went to US in April, he got me 2 handbags yg harganya were enough to cover 10 birthday presents he said (cheapskate!). Saying that, birthday dia hari tu pun tak dapat apa2 present dari i..not because i taknak bagi but because he hasn't made up his mind apa dia nak. Latest request was for an all expenses paid trip to KB to go find the ultimate samping songket which of course would be the present. Jangan dia guna samping tu nak pi menikah lagi satu dah. So the trip is still pending, what with Kelantan banjir, MG yg sibuk ngalahkan pak menteri and of course come next year, bye2 social activities for me. (Btw, when MG got the cake and had it lit up and all, i kira, eh, napa the candles were grouped into 3 and 6? I baru nak cakap, tak cukup satu candle la! But i kept my mouth shut in time..laki i memang ingat i ni 3 years younger than him cam baya adik dia..hehe..jangan marak Esah!!)
2. Mataku yg semakin rabun dekat.
3. Miss AA, Esah...jangan marah....but the great GB trip may be off for me..huwaaaaa don't think my SV will sign borang keluar negera (utk foya2) for me. Furthermore, nak tanya bukak mulut pun i tak sanggup you...takut!
4. My friend's hubby had this idea yg buat phd ni easy kacang. Dapat dok rumah memanjang (tha's what my dad thinks also). So he wants his wife to stay at home more to look after the kids (with bibik). So my friend ni cakap to the clueless hubby, 'awak ingat buat phd ni senang?? Cuba tengok si Cik Kiah tu, dah tak rupa macam orang!'
Enough said! (But folks, i'm not exaggerating it but i think it's just me..i'm a sensitive soul. Dah 10 tahun i tak kena tegur ngan cikgu. So bila kena hari tu, 5 hari 5 malam i tak leh tido and muka stress memanjang).
Taraa..nak pi swimming dulu (boleh pulak ye?)
Ni baru early stage of the whole thing but the sacrifices can be seen:
1. I spent my birthday, at home, calculating my sample size, OK?! Tak teringat pun nak berfoya2. Oleh tak kerana cake yg laki i beli the night before i might have forgotten about it totally. Cake saja, you'd want to say. But according to MG when he went to US in April, he got me 2 handbags yg harganya were enough to cover 10 birthday presents he said (cheapskate!). Saying that, birthday dia hari tu pun tak dapat apa2 present dari i..not because i taknak bagi but because he hasn't made up his mind apa dia nak. Latest request was for an all expenses paid trip to KB to go find the ultimate samping songket which of course would be the present. Jangan dia guna samping tu nak pi menikah lagi satu dah. So the trip is still pending, what with Kelantan banjir, MG yg sibuk ngalahkan pak menteri and of course come next year, bye2 social activities for me. (Btw, when MG got the cake and had it lit up and all, i kira, eh, napa the candles were grouped into 3 and 6? I baru nak cakap, tak cukup satu candle la! But i kept my mouth shut in time..laki i memang ingat i ni 3 years younger than him cam baya adik dia..hehe..jangan marak Esah!!)
2. Mataku yg semakin rabun dekat.
3. Miss AA, Esah...jangan marah....but the great GB trip may be off for me..huwaaaaa don't think my SV will sign borang keluar negera (utk foya2) for me. Furthermore, nak tanya bukak mulut pun i tak sanggup you...takut!
4. My friend's hubby had this idea yg buat phd ni easy kacang. Dapat dok rumah memanjang (tha's what my dad thinks also). So he wants his wife to stay at home more to look after the kids (with bibik). So my friend ni cakap to the clueless hubby, 'awak ingat buat phd ni senang?? Cuba tengok si Cik Kiah tu, dah tak rupa macam orang!'
Enough said! (But folks, i'm not exaggerating it but i think it's just me..i'm a sensitive soul. Dah 10 tahun i tak kena tegur ngan cikgu. So bila kena hari tu, 5 hari 5 malam i tak leh tido and muka stress memanjang).
Taraa..nak pi swimming dulu (boleh pulak ye?)
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