Selamat beramal

A few days ago, adalah i baca from FB, Dr Maza mendoakan kesejahteraan  Tan Sri Zeti yang sedang 'berjihad' memerangi you-know-what...
I suka tengok komen si polan2...dah boleh expect antara mereka ni mesti ada ustad ustazah jadian yg cannot see beyond tudung / no tudung.
So, adalah si polan ni membuat comment, something like buat apa mendoakan orang yg tak ikhlas pun dengan tuhannya. Ewah..kes itu pulak! It's like ko apa kena? Yg komen tu laki...it's like sakit betul mata dia tengok TSZ tu tak bertudung...macam bajet diri lebih suci pulak dpd TSZ yg tak bertudung tu.
So i really nak tau, kenapa ye? Selagi sorang tu tak bertudung, macam hina sangat sorang pompuan tu? It's like pompuan yg tak bertudung tu memang sah2 akan buat orang laki2 masuk neraka. What about lowering your gaze first? Dah terjaga sangat ke solat si polan tu? Ikhlas tanpa rasa terbeban...tunggu masuk waktu solat atas sejadah? Masuk waktu bekerja takde pi minum2 kopi ke...surf internet ke...(tulis blog ke...)...jaga kebajikan mak bapaknya..berbuat baik pada jiran...tak sakit hati orang..or takde layan tenet tengok gambar pompuan vogel ke....

Pasal ustad ustazah jadian ni jugak le puteri sultan johor tu tutup IG account dia.
Yg had ustazah jadian ni pulak..kenapa susah hati sangat awak bila nampak pompuan lain tak bertudung? Betul2 ke uols ikhlas masa menegur tu ataupun ada sikit perasaan tak puas hati that the woman has the audacity to not cover her aurat? Janganlah pulak cakap i ni yahudi ke eahabi ke ye...i tak pernah menidakkan yg menutup aurat tu is wajib but at the same time, dah you bertutup aurat, jagalah jugak tingkah laku adab  tu. Because..bila pakai tudung tu, lima batu dah orang tahu you tu muslim.

I have non-muslim friends yg bertanya kat i napa akak kat office weols ni yg bertudung labuh berstokin kaki tangan semua boleh marah kat orang jerit2? Yg sungguh melambangkan salah satu dpd sifat munafik ye...Yg adik k1k1 ketuk kereta uncle tu bukan pakai tudung ke?

Ok wait...i'm not going into that cliche statement i.e. tak semua orang bertudung itu baik and tak semua yg tak bertudung itu jahat. But apa yg i nak cakap ialah, kalau dah you decide to pakai tudung, uphold your 'sincerity' to Allah. Jagalah akhlak, jaga mulut..jangan kat belakang dikeji dek orang2 non-muslim. Lepas tu kalau ye pun sedih, terkilan sangat ada pompuan ni tak bertudung, doa je dalam hati supaya dia diberi kekuatan to don the tudung one day. Tak payahla nak buat statement kat fb bajet bagus.

And why i said kekuatan to pakai tudung is because from my personal experience, wearing the tudung for me at least means a change of lifestyle, something has got to give. For a start, pakaian..pastu dah membawa image sebagai seorang muslim takkan nak terkinja2 tak tentu pasal kan? Takkan pulak nak pi ladies night kat nightclub pulak lagi? Takkan nak lepak2 bilik budak2 jantan main terup lagi? This i'm talking masa kat obersea dulu. It's not the tudung ok...it's about berhijrah. Mungkin itu yg some of us tak ready lagi. So, kalau pun nak menarik orang2 ni, secara lembutlah...bukan sindir2 style pu&*%$#.

I remember masa i free hair dulu. Mintak maaf ye..pakaian i masih sopan..takde yg tayang dada, ketiak or kaki. Pakai pun skirt panjang or seluar ok. Kekanda i masa tu sibuk terjuih2 mulut menegur i because dia bajet suci setelah bertudung...tapi pi pasar pakai tshirt lengan pendek yang ikut bentuk badan. So i asked, what is this? Kalau nak buat benda, buat betul2..takde half half ye...Ish katanya, dia pelan2 la..sikit2...padahal yg i tegur masa tu dia dah beranak dua...dia start pakai masa kat uni...pelan2 apa tu?? Setan sangat tau! Sama jugak cam Setazah Besar yg suh i pakai because dia cakap dia malu kat kengkwannya...caittt!

So uols yg bajet2 suci sangat ni, renung2kan lah ye cakap Mufti Menk kat atas tu. I pun ada dengar kat radio IKIM yg Allah sayang sangat kat Rasullullah SAW not because of ibadahnya but because of his akhlak...so..jomlah kita jaga akhlak masing2 ye and belajar sikit cara2 diplomasi nak tarik orang ke arah kebaikan. And mulut serupa tah hapa2 is not one of them.

Kontraktor kelas S

Ho`la!

Tonight i feel like writing..

Actually, a lot has happened since like forever..gua sungguh malas menulis sekarang ni..

For a start...rumah agam * i yg tak siap2 from like nearly 3 years ago. Mula2 beli rumah...we planned to live in it. Not for investment whatever. Our present house at that time was just to small for my growing kids..be it i like its location better. Dekat dgn kedai, public transport, petrol station and not overly sunyi. Nevertheless, we had to sell it in order to renovate the new one. The latter had cost us many arms and legs, left us with nothing at the end of the day. Our first agent was not aggresive enough..took her over one year plus and she still couldn't sell that house. The second one managed to sell it in just 3 days. By Jan, the new owner had received the keys to the house. We had to pay her rent since then until we were 'evicted' in May. Renovation rumah baru tak siap then (until now actually but at least i can see the end now). Was supposed to complete by March.

Well, what can i say? When i was in the UK, dulu ada rancangan ni regarding contractors from hell. What do u know...we had one. Ni semua kes nak bagi peluang pada bangsa sendiri. Track record according to MG was not bad. I had my doubts even from the beginning...nak start renovate pun bertangguh tangguh. Memula tu, pekerja ramai. Pastu tengok sorang dua org je...patut start kerja pukul 8, kul 11 baru sampai. Sebelum kul 4 dah chow. Btw, when we had to move out from our old house, we moved to one only about 100 m from our new one. So, i kan kerja flexi hours...so i dok sekodeng bila workers datang and balik.

I listened to MG rant about them. Ada wasap group with the contractors. At the beginning i staryed out of it..ya laa...MG dah biasa manage projects...takkan rumah weols dia tak boleh manage sendiri kan?

My dasar tak masuk campur changed when one morning i nampak wasap masuk siap dgn pic sekali. MG was politely asking the contractors what the hell his workers were doing mixing cement on timber flooring. Masa tu memang segala bulu on me naik tegak. Dah la mak masa tu tengah geram...kita sibuk mencari rumah sewa utk short term..call sana sini homestays and all. Mostly bumis la..they either don't return your calls..or their wives reply your wasap and bunyi nada wasap tu macam kita nak mengorat laki dia.

Anyway, back to the cement on timber thing, i actually wrote a long and sarcastic and nasty wasap to the contractors. If i were to get something similar from my boss i think i akan nangis 7 hari 7 malam. But of course, sebagai isteri mithali (kadang2), i asked for MG's permission dulu before i sound the contractors. Si setan tu tak jawab pun...the wasap group was quiet...after 2 weeks i tanya MG, uols dah tak berwasap ke? MG cakap err...the contractors created another group and excluded me. setan ke tak tu?

Anyway, that was just the beginning. MG was busy all the time. So i thought i'd better jadi lady boss jugak. I wasaped the guy..mintak dia jumpa at 630pm on A friday. I want him to go through with us apa yg dah siap, belum siap n bila nak siap. Berkejarlah i ni balik dari ofis and by 6.15 dah terpacak depan rumah baru. Tunggu sampai 6.35 tak de...6.45 baru setan tu called MG up and cakap tak jadi jumpa pasal dia kena ambik anak dia kat asrama somewhere up north. What????!@#$#@!

I dah melompat2 kat situ, so MG passed the phone over to me.You know what...i have never been thaaattttt angry! I meletup macam mesin gun...i langsung tak bagi dia cakap. All those pent up anger because of rumah tumpangan yg panas takde aircond, takleh bukak tingkap pasal takde grille, having to live out of boxes...cari benda tak jumpa...atok Monty yg trauma dgn new surroundings plus nanti kang nak kena pindah lagi...i guessed i laharkan semua masa tu. Then i passed the phone back to MG. When i called the setan tu tak professional bec cancel meeting last minute...dia pulak tuduh i yg tak professional bec main wasap je...apa salah call je dia katanya...wah wah wah...nak sangat dia tu i call dia 24/7 ye? He hasn't seen crazy yet..! Pastu MG macam cakap pelan2 dgn dia...dia macam mengadu n MG cam pujuk dia pulak. So we met the next day. I macam clerk mahkamah...siap catit sepanjang 2 jam nengok2 rumah tu..the guy just avoided eye contact with me. Professionallah sangat tu kan?

In the end..it was not worth it....setan tu punya attitude camtu jugak. No change at all. Taunya mintak duit, duit, duit. MG called them to the office..nak sack pun...but they didn't turn up...some of their building equipment ada tertinggal..including the cement mixer. What do you think happened to them? :)  Panggil atok datang...atok datang habis diangkutnya balik. Selamattttt...

Now we have a non-bumi dependable albeit cakap banyak laki bini cam Phua Chu Kang. Gembiranya hati i tengok ada perubahan day to day...

Anyway, bulan 11 ni kena evict pulak dari rumah tumpangan ni...what to do...hidup merempat camni lah. But at least..ok la...even though we are so broke now, tak tau nak cakap.

To the contractor setan tu..kalau ikut hati memang rasa nak name and shame je dia, biar bisnes terlungkup...but kesian anak bini dia yang tak bersalah..well, i hope he experiences ED**.

*Rumah agam hanyalah gelaran..
**Erectile dysfunction

What's sauce for the goose is not always sauce for the gander

Hi uols!

Yes i know it's bulan poser and all but hati ni masih tergaru2 berdegil jugak nak membebel pasal orang.

Ada akak ni, bila bukak mulut je akan kluar hadis2 or ayat2 quran. Memang she's the type of person yg akan bersusah payah google potongan ayat2 suci yg bersesuaian dgn fb status you, copy n paste. And you akan terkesima...waah! Banyaknya masa dia! Kat dalam meeting pun camtu...pantang orang cakap tak ber'bau' islamik sikit, mesti dia akan berhujah membawa si polan tu ke pangkal jalan. Paling mild pun dia akan cakap, 'ingat...you pun ada anak...'. Akan tetapi, terbongkarlah juga cerita bagaimana akak 'setazah' ni menggunakan kuasanya utk menyekat orang yg dia tak suka. Sampai jadi petty sangat...!  Sesuci-suci hatinya masih ada taik jugak...just like the rest of us.

Akak yg kedua....dia pun fefeeling setazah besar. Kalau bercakap tu tak sah kalau tak dikaitkan dgn 'what would the prophet pbuh do'. Kita pun fefeeling jugak kalau dapat bercakap dgn dia tu, rasa macam dilahirkan suci balik. Well, something happened to me. Or to be more precise, i was there when it happened. So i cerita le balik kat dia...saja bercerita...The next thing i knew cerita tu dah sampai ke sinun. Dari sebesar semut halus jadi besar semut api. And takde sapa yg ada connection dgn sinun kecuali i dan dia. But sebusuk2 perangai kita on normal days, i masih bagi peluang kat dia utk defend herself. So i asked her, ada tak dengar cerita apa2 pasal haritu while you kat di sinun? I said because orang kat di sinun sibuk bercakap pasal tu. Thing is, kalau tak kitaorg berempat i.e. i, qarin i, dia, qarin dia, takde sapa yg tau pasal tu and ada connection dgn orang2 di sinun. Akak setazah tudung labuh ni terus berinnalillah....then she went on and on how people should go seek the truth from the source and jangan buat andaian sendiri etc. etc. Bangang ke dia or dah kena alzheimer's? Padahal mengikut sumber2 dpd orang2 di sinun, akak tu yg rancak menjadi tok dalangnya...sampai pi maklumkan kat pihak tertinggi! Watdeferk sangat...!

Ok cerita yg ketiga...sorang akak ni..suka pompang2 kat fb, twitter etc. bila tak puas hati sini..., tak puas hati sana ke, mesti akan luahkan perasaan kat laman sosial. Huh, just imagine time PRU13 ritu.... Pada suatu hari, dia menjadi bahan ketidakpuashatian orang lain di laman sosial. Terus sentap 3 bulan. Kalau tanya dia, motonya ialah 'you tell it as it is', Straight to the point, Ala2 mat saleh gitu. Dia kata, kalau orang tu defensip, meaning she's something to hide. Haish..so holier than thou.. But when the tables are turned, dia pulak yg over2 sentap sampai 6 bulan, Mulalah rasa dirinya diperlakukan dengan kejam sekali...kenapakah ada orang yg tidak bersimpati akan dirinya ittew...gitu. And she's also the type yg biarkanlah apa orang nak buat ikut sukahati. Live and let live katanya....jangan kongkong2...jangan paksa2..very subject centred lah. But dia jugaklah yg later on decided on someone else's behalf, that just because she thinks she's gone fat, dia rasa that someone pun patut lose weight jugak. Kata jangan paksa2, jangan kongkong??? Yenna??!!

The 3 akaks, it used to do my head in, but now..whateva! Bukannya i ada hutang dengan you pun, kan?

Miss i tak?

Harooooo....!

Tak tau nak buh tajuk i...but u miss i taaakkk???

Haro uols....I've been away for so long.
Piah jolok2 i cakap 'update la yanggg...update laa...'
Lembut betul bahasanya...kalau depa berdua tak hapdate lama, mesti i akan wasap and tanya, 'korang dah mati ke?'..keji kan?

Well, i told her that dua, tiga menjak, mood i sungguh tidak baik.  And i hate to write when i'm angry because bila baca balik esok2 i akan terkesima dgn 'pencernaan emosi' i kat blogspace ni. Pastu fikir..eleh..awat emo sangat..pergh!

Anyway, i ni dari 3 tahun dulu cakap nak pindah tapi tak pindah2..but last month memang jadi betul2 weols pindah. But no no no uols...bukan ke rumah 'agam' i ye...rumah agam i masih tak siap renovate lagi...merasa weols pindah ke rumah yg lebih agam tepi tasik..a few days ago, Piah was over at my place and dia cakap rumah sewa weols tu ada fefeeling wisteria lane uols..so like ong kaya gitu. Fefeeling la weols berdua kul 3 pagi kat balcony meneman si Piah bunuh nyamuk.

When we said goodbye to the old house, what took place on that day was really not what i had imagined. I fefeeling berjalan dari satu bilik ke satu bilik bersama MG dgn tangannya merangkul pinggul i (yes, tangan dia memang panjang dan cukup sesuai to merangkul my balak of a pinggang)..reminiscing about the good and bad days in that house (fefeeling je kerja kau ye). lap2 air mata gitu. Non hado! 

We got movers to do the packing and they worked from 10 am until like 9pm...i yg sekadar tengok ni pun pancit. Sampai 5 trips. Sib baiklah rumah sewa not that far from the old house...As at the moment, we are living out of boxes. Rumah sewa is rumah pinjaman semata2..meaning...the house is not meant for rental but we asked to pinjam and pay cheap rental..merasalah pasang sendiri lampu and kipas..aircond takde ye! Balik rumah rasa nak bolen je. The good thing is, it's only a bout 200 metres from our new house so can keep an eye on the contractors.

OMG...that's a different story altogether! Rumah yg tengah renovate tak siap2! Lembab! At one point,  sorang je kerja..At first for so many months, memang i tak masuk campur hal renovation ni. Sekadar dengar MG pok pek pok pek kat i and also in the wasap group between him n the contractors. That included me kononnya supaya i ambik kesah. Which for a very long time i hadn't until tuan rumah weols yg baru nak pindah masuk and we had to vacate our old house. Pening cari rumah sewa for short term tambah dgn satu pagi tu MG wasap gambar the workers at our new house dok bancuh simen atas our timber flooring! Tak ke mak tukar jadi mummera? Lub dub lub dub jantung i! I mintak permission kat MG untuk 'bahasakan' contractor tu on wasap. Dah lama dah i tanya MG, bila2 you perlukan utk i memainkan peranan as 'nyonya cerewet gila' just let me know bec i can do crazyyyy...

So i bahasakanlah kat wasap tu...sampai siap threaten nak viralkan gambar2 tu kat fb (plus they did other damages as well yg weols sabaaarrr je sebelum ni). I cakap boleh tak jangan jadi one of the stats yg rata2 org kata contractor bumis are lousy. Ni orang bagi peluang ni...Pastu wasap senyaaappp for about 2 weeks...tak menguit pun. I tanya MG..what happened to the group...he said the contractors bukak group lain and excluded me. Cait!!! Berani deme!

Tu satu. Pastu ada incident lain yg i personally spoke to the contractor tu. I said, we've got to meet up and go through apa yg tak siap lagi. I said sekarang ni, they have to report to me also. Ok, so we set uplah sekian2 hari dan waktu nak berjumpa kat rumah baru. I tunggu like 40 mins and bulu hidung pun tak nampak! Pastu tepon laki i to cancel the meeting pasal sebab keluarga. Uols rasa mak tak hangin ke?? OMG! Tak pernah i menjerit kat sesapa macam tu. I buat sign kat laki i suh pas hp kat i..seriously i never thought i had it in me to bercakap like 200km sejam gitu. I called him tak professional..kalau tau tak boleh datang, habaq mai la awal2. Orang berkejar balik ofis in KL awal to be there on time. And...he had the cheek to call me unprofessional bec asyik wasap dia je ..napa tak call saya katanya. Ooo..ko nak sangat aku call ko every 2 hours ye??? Dia cakap he was going to meet MG pun the next day, so he thought he tak yah la jumpa pada tarikh yg we all dah plan tu. So i said, you think what? You can telepathic your decision to me? Bongok!

Anyway, the next day we met up at the new house. Me dgn buku catatan..jot down everything can secretary. Pastu suh semua org sign n put no IC. I said i nak pi matikan stamp. Kita dah agree tarikh bila nak siap ni..lambat sila bayarkan sewa rumah weols...buat ngok ngek siap ke mahkamah la kita berjumpa. Si mamat kontraktor tu masa berjumpa sikit pun tak pandang kat i, buat macam i tak wujud..hehe...aduhai....bertambah uban i kena deal ngan org2 camni..how la people can be project managers ni?

Tata..itu je cerita buat masa ni..Nak balik dah..nak kejar dr raden.

Moral support lah sangat...

Baru-baru ni i pi mesyuarat PIBG sekolah anak2 i. Little D dah masuk jah 3 and i baru first time terbit. Well, masa dia jah 1...i was just lost in my own world. Satu benda pasal sekolah dia i tak tau...tau2 je dia ada baju sekolah, buku sekolah yg semua elok berbalut, school badge semua berjahit etc. That's how 'lost' i was in my PhD world. 

Then naik jah 2 fuse i yg terbakar dah ok balik sikit...masa tu memang i merancang nak beraktif dlm hal ehwal anak and their school matters ni. I hated the vending machine at her school with passion. I rasa cam nak cekik orang2 kantin yg menjual tah hapa2 and entice her to spend her RM 1 yg dia ada. Yup...i bagi dia singgit je duit belanja bec dia bawak bekal. Btw, with singgit she can still get nasik lemak, mee etc. Tak tau la banyak mana, kan...but still dia tak pernah complaint. One day a week tak yah bawak bekal and she gets more money to spend to hee heart desires. 

Anyway, i so wanted to attend last year's pibg meeting and talk about healthy diet...but i had a case of low self esteem..me talking about healthy eating?? Look from where it's coming from..kata suara2 sumbang rekaan kepala otak i. On the pibg day itself i chickened out. I conveniently forgot about it.

And then this year...with Baby X entering jah 1...something has got to change. So i dragged MG along untuk moral support. I told him that i want to raise some issues. Not forgetting the much hated vending machine..issue lain was when going through the booklet on the school's past year's activities, takdak satu pun yg berbaur2 charity. The most the pupils got in terms of menengok kesusahan orang lain was if they were to watch 'Bersamamu' on tv. Pastu, the other parents asyik membuat usulan pasal kelas tambahan...parking tak cukup utk drop their kids off...cikgu besar yak yak pasal misi nak dapatkan status SBT..

You know...i ni bukanlah jenis yg sikit2 nak angkat tangan bagi opinion dlm meeting etc. I'm more of a do-er belakang tabir. But i think on that day i couldn't help myself. Obese or not obese, i've to put forward my motion. Lagi2 sebelum tu ada bapak budak ni pun sentuh issue kanti jual junk food. I tengok dia pun taklah hot mana pun..but lengkaplah dia memberitahu dia kerja as pensyarah etc. 

But vending machine punya hal jadi issue kecik pulak pada i masa tu. I was more triggered by the fact that kecemerlangan akademik je yg depa kisahkan..baik parents or the cikgu besar. Its all about how to make the school a more condusive place to excel in their studies. Ok..but is that enough??

So i got up...well actually i menggelitis angkat tangan and rushed to the mic. Of course i mentioned a bit on the vending machine...but i raised the issue of us i.e. Kids, parents and teachers giving back to society. I mentioned about the lack of activities berunsur kemasyarakatan such as melawat rumah org tua, anak yatim, oku, furry sanctuary etc. Berkobar2 i bercakap pasal how kita ni mendidik anak bukan saja utk excel dlm akademik but utk menjadi pemimpin juga. 

I thought i saw MG cringing in his seat...prolly pretending that he didn't know me. Itupun dia dah escape masuk kereta and i fished him out the first time.  I berucap gaya ketua wanita hamno (ni perasan i je lah...MG said i sounded so frigid - not quite sure what he meant). MG pura2 jawab tepon...pastu dia leboh* sekali lagi. Talk about moral support ler sangat, kan?!

And then came to the pemilihan ajk for this year. The bapak budak that cakap kerojenya pensyarah tu got elected for some post. Dia reluctant pun org pujuk...yg aku ni?? I was just one fat makcik walaupun cakap berapi2! (Idak dipandangnya dek deme -aiyok terus kluar cakap cam Pah Bedah).

On hindsight, should have pakai my title when introducing myself. Lagi bagus cakap kerja mana jabatan apa semua...cam pak budak tu...i was just a plain Puan on that day. In fact they even got my name wrong..tetiba je aku jadi Cik Piah! My colleagues said, should have told them yg i ni dlm panel pemilihan utk masuk IPTA...yes folks...we don't pandang A's yang berkodi2 tu ye...klau anak2 uols pi cuci poopoo kat rumah orang2 tua or kandang harimau kat zoo, she'd be laughing and skipping all the way to a place at 'this' IPTA. So, kecemerlangan akademik bukan tiketnya semata2..

That's all this fat makcik has to say.

P/S

Uols tengok wasap kat atas tu...cubaan MG utk melesapkan diri. First time i berjaya panggil dia masuk meeting balik. Lepas i bercakap, leboh terus! Pandai salahkan i yg beranak pulak 😠

*leboh = lesap

Sent from Samsung Mobile

Mother of all rants (well, almost)

Writing is good...writing is the chicken soup for my soul.
Writing is good when other people's kebongekan are doing my head in.

Ok, first story. Ada laki orang tu beli handbag mahal2 utk bff dia. Memang betul bff, tiada unsur2 berscandal. Tapi tak tahu la satu masa dulu dia pernah minat kat pompuan tu ke tak. Fine if he has tons of money...fine if he is as generous to his wife and mum as he is to his bff...generous ke? Non hado! Dgn mak berkira..nak campak 50 inggit setiap bulan pun tak...dgn wife? Masa bercintan cintun dulu generouslah..la ni bila dah kawin? Lepas pampers pun anak pun dah cukup bagus agaknya. What is it with men? Their need to impress their girly friends but with their wives, kedekut pait.

Yes, Palestinians in Gaza have won..yes, they won the war (this time round) in spite of the massive destruction that surrounds them. At least bumi Gaza masih milik Palestine, tak kisah la in whatever shape or form. If you were one of them, wouldn't you also be taking to the streets and have a street party (pun intended) and what not? Of course i tak la sokong them totting guns masa bergembira tu...but moral of the story, they were outnumbered, Israel had better weapons  but Gaza still belongs to them. So, janganlah kata apa yg nak syok sangat when Gaza is a pile of rubbles..

There's this lady who did the TokTi...she mentioned that she would not want to die now and leave her kids with a mak tiri...err..terlupakah dia yg sebab dialah jugak yg his kids have a mak tiri..which is her! Is this subconsciously insinuating that bila dia bertugas sebagai mak tiri sebenarnya dia tak ikhlas?? (MG suka berjoke2 nak memaktirikan anak2 weols sementara i masih hidup ni..mungkin satu masa dulu response i dalam hati would be to cekik2 dia..but now i terfikir after ditazkirahkan oleh my colleague yg alim and cakap cinta sejati tu hanya dari Dia semata2....bagus jugak..let me go berbakti elsewhere while my madu looks after my kids. Let me go to Gaza..if my kids' mak tiri si Sopiah tu, she'd want to come with me to Gaza..sayang SoPiah! (err..sapa nak jaga anak2 kita pulak yang??)

Women who complainssss too much of having to work when they'd rather be looking after their kids at home. Well..it's like this...i'm quite judgmental when it comes to this. I love my kids...but i want them to grow up with a mum that also contributes to the society. Camnilah...kita pulun study. Mak bapak kita menaruh harapan utk kita bawak balik ijazah, dapat kerja best2, jadi contoh pada orang kampung, sedara mara...kita pi study overseas menggunakan tax payers' money..we were the creme de la creme..ditatang bagai minyak yg penuh by the pegawai MSD. Nak apa? Belajar main golf, naik kuda? Music? Pi attachment luar negara pengajian, semua gomen support. Then belajar sambung kat uni, buat courses yg critical yg sekarang nak dapat punyalah competitive! Pastu sambung buat professional degree..and then...bila dah kawin dapat anak semua, opted to be a SAHM. Salah ke?? Tak salah if you guna duit FAMA you untuk study...tak salah if you tak deprive another person of the scholarship that could have been hers/his. And i think these people should be a tad embarrassed because you dah pecah amanah! Bukannya sibuk berwhatsapp dgn masalah for e.g. kat mana nak meet up for brunch...cuti sekolah ni nak pi holiday mana...anak hantar sekolah mana...Deyyy! Kalau takat gitu je cabarannya, tak payahla tax payers bayar pengajian awak berjuta RM ye...I was one of those students and now i had the opportunity to be one of the 'penentu' masa depan students..tau tak how competitive it is? 10 people after 1 single place..go figure.

To end my rants of all rants (just for tonight obviously)..
Kalau ada kat luar sana tu...clinical doctorate is not a PhD. Satu klinikal, satu purely by research. If you during your clinical doctorate tu ada buat research (which is the norm), your research tu bukan Phd standard. Jangan samakan and insult people yg ada PhD. And err..mostly PhD 3 tahun, 4 or more...2 tahun?? Tidak ye adik2..kat mesia ni takde ye..Masters yes....Or did you make a mistake thinking PhD ni macam juara masterchef punya ke? Yg takde angin, takde ribut, takde airmata, penat lelah tut tup, eh, dah dapat! Apa komen Puan Dr Lurpak?

Sekian terima kasih.

Rasa

It's not good. It's sending my gastric juices somersaulting right up into my oesophagus.
Before raya, Darthvader buat hal..i cried so much..first for gaza, then re. DV..then the MH17 incident happened. At one point i didn't know what i was actually crying for. Spoke to Him...the boss (at work) intervened and later ObiWan (coSV) consoled. So all was well by Raya.

Two weeks after raya, a friend called. Cat at her office was found to have become emaciated. Asked help to bring it to the vet. Found her a forever (hopefully) home with our in-house psycho-trist.

Two nights ago, heard kitten mewing from the playground from midnight till morning. Had a restless night..couldn't wait till morning so that i could go look for the kitten. Found not one but two kitties underneath a car parked near the playground. As big as my fist - roughly around 1 month old. Both huddled..the nights have been cooler these past few days. Fished kitties out..brought them home and fed them with wet cat food. Apparently belonged to a neighbour 5 doors down. The said neighbour is away on vacation. No bibiks were instructed to look after her cats - many, i was made to believe. Apparently tinggalkan banyak makanan dlm sangkar with water kat porch..tak tahu masih ada lagi ke tak...tak sampai hati nak pi check. Asked my maid to go check and assist as necessary. Hati terasa sakit sangat...sampai hati tuan buat camtu. The two little kitties escaped from the sangkar because jaring2nya lebar. They could have been penyek-ed by a car since they had to cross the road over to the playground. Imagine kittens only as big as your fist. Or mauled to death by stray dogs....apa2 pun malam tu walaupun tak hujan tapi dingin.

Found out that the tamil speaking cat that i took to the vet on his tuan behalf got killed in an accident. Died in UPM vet hospital after 2 days. Three weeks after our encounter. I thought he was the sweetest, most manja cat ever.

On the way to work today, for the third time bertembung dengan van jenazah..all white and shiny..about ten or more, enroute to KLIA. Raptai to sambut ketibaan para mangsa MH17.....tetap keluar air mata walau dah kali ketiga..

Ada staff ni i selalu tegur pasal melayari internet masa time kerja...(err..ok la..i'm guilty of that too but buatla sorok2 jgn bagi clients nampak or..i nampak!). And yesterday, he just collapsed and died...youngish, slim je..anak satu, toddler lagi. All i could think of...i tak sempat mintak maaf kat dia pasal salu tegur and report kat boss dia. (I also mentioned to siapa lagi kalau bukan kawan sehatijanam i yg we should go mintak maap kat SerapMuslim. Ternyata beliau berbahagia disamping kedua2 isteri yg jugak nampak bahagia laga2 pipi and anak jadi cam anak patung between the both of them).

Last week dapat balik simptoms pening, loya, pedih ulu hati..lepas makan muntah keluar balik. Gastric is back...stress tak tentu hala. I feel too much.  And i don't want to feel..takes the 'energy' out of oneself. Ada sesapa tau doa untuk 'mengeringkan' hati?

Whatever it is, don't forget to kibarkan jalur gemilang...bendera and batang mop boleh beli kat Mydin..or any bookshop for eg Pustaka Rawang (the flag, not the batang mop). As a nation, we need it, it's time to heal.


* Melepaskan batok di tangga...most of us know what this peribahasa means..but bak mai i nak bagitau what 'batok' here actually is..It's not batuk uhuk uhuk i.e. not that thing to do with your tekak or lungs but it's actually the tempurung yg dikat pada batang pemegang yg orang melayu dulu2 letak kat luar rumah. Untuk kita basuh kaki sebelum masuk rumah. That is batok. So, lepas basuh kaki pi main campak je. Apparently from Melayu bertulisan jawi to rumi it sort of got lost in translation. There you go! (I excitedly told my mum about my discovery..makcik also got excited. I asked her last time when she was a guru bahasa, takkan dia tak tau?? She said all this while they really thought batuk is batuk uhuk..

**Supposed to be a poignant post..cemana boleh jadi macam ada unsur lawak pulak??

Kita bobbit kan jer..

Hola uols!

I feel like male bashing tonight. No, no, no...tiada kena mengena dgn yg hidup atau mati di no. 31 ni. So you don't go get your knickers in a twist.

Anyway, sejak dua menjak ni i cam anginnn je kat species tu..i ni bukanlah membenci lelaki tapi i benci kat jejantans yg pembuli bini.

Kat ofis..cewah kemain lagi ..dia lah mr charming, dia lah mr hercules...kalau kat rumah tu, mr chipmunk pun tak tentu lepas lagi.

They say, behind every great man, must be a great woman..but behind every great woman??? That woman must be a superwoman!

Ambik case ni. Bebaru ni adalah cik minah ni datang jumpa i...tengah stress gila2. Kena submit assignment...the final one utk menentukan 'hidup mati' dia for the last 4 years. Buat kerja depan laptop sampai terlelap. Celik mata tengok semua crash. Tak boleh retrieve langsung and back up? Yilek! Pi jumpa kapla yg in charge assignment ni, kapla ngamuk gila! Cakap yg I DONT CARE apa2 pun u kena submit jugak. Kapla tu pun satu...dey yenna?! Shit already happened...tak payah la nak agro2 memburukkan lagi keadaan. Katanya pasal budak tu is the weakest link. Lerr..ko pernah tanya ke cemana dia boleh jadi the weakest link? I sound kat kapla..i said that you already are biased against her..you are just waiting for her to screw up ..tak ke tempting fate namanya tu? And when she did ko pi tayang perangai kluar dari filem tamil ko..

Alkisahnya cik minah ni...well...what can i say? Lakinya perangai ada serhopa....tak tau nak cakap....bini nak further her studies katanya takde halangan..ok jerrr...TAPI!...make sure kepentingan dia dgn anak2 tak boleh sikit terjejas pun. Pukul 7pm je haaa..u ngadaplah muka i saja...u belailah i saja...u  je lah basuh berak anak2 kita...u sajalah yg masak...you you you! Maid no touch yeah..although cik minah tu ada maid. Dah la akak tu kerja macam full time, pastu study lagi..kengkawan boleh stay back utk siapkan assignment but she? No no no...bersedialah before 7 pm dah mesti ada kat rumah untuk garuk kurap kat belakang siamang jadian..(marah betul cik kiah ni).

Heran kan..laki camni masihhh jugak nak berbinikan pompuan bijak pandai berkerjaya semua...dah nak mintak bini ngadap muka awak dopohpatjam,  ever ready je nak disuruh buat apa2 and dah tu kena pretend tak pandai pulak tu, uols jejantan ni kawin dengan budak tak pas spm kali yg ke 45 je boleh tak?

Sambung cerita...Pastu acik marah la kan bila kapla nak agro2 dgn budak ni..ko jantan. Ko tau apa? Shadap u! Kapla ni pernah bagitau kat i..bininya mintak permission dia nak PJJ. Dia boleh cakap, you nak kerjaya ke rumahtangga?? Podah la ko! Datang dari planet mana gamaknya? Pastu salu ngadu kat i, my wife doesnt smile...doesnt really want to chit chat with me...

Well you think kalau kat rumah peel ko serhopa raja swaziland sinun yg terdador* je kata orang Perak, nak ke bini ko bermanis muka? Dah la chauvinist nak mampus...sekali tu dia bercerita kat i yg dia klau otak weng pasal kerja, he'd be walking around aimlessly from one room to another at home. I said to him, dah alang2 you kulu kilir tu boleh tak you pegang mop sekali? At least ada jugak pekdahnya = bersih rumah! Tak yah la bini you bangun kul 430 pagi nak mengemas!

Ada sorang senior colleague ni..lakinya tak tau bawak kereta. So dialah yg drivekan lakinya pergi kerja, hantar sana sini semua..jadi drebarlah kan..And acik bukan calang2 orang hokay..set2 CEO punya. Satu hari tu dia cakap kat i, kita ong pompuan ni, must take care of ourselves and anak2..simpan duit, simpan harta! Orang laki ni, makin tua makin selfish! Terbayang i muka lakinya yg rhope neinnn** je tu (kata org perak lagi) dok sebelah dia yg kena drive. Aik??! Bawak kereta pun tak reti harapkan bini, ada hati nak berselfish2?

No wonderlah orang tua2 dulu cakap, belajar tinggi2 sampai mana pun, kat ceruk dapur jugak kita pompuan ni kena end up..kalaulah sampai sekarang pun masih mentaliti camni, gimme the likes of chefwan uols!! Masak pandai buat lawak pun kerlasss...kena tahan lah telinga sikit, kan?? Tak yah la nak cari calon swomi yg lelaki sejati sangat uols...laki2 sejati ni salunya baru je kluar dari planet (of the apes) depa and tak habis evolve lagi..sanggup?? Kerana chenta adik2 kat luar sana tu kata....6 bulan je uols...pastu kentut pun berbau semula ye...

Tata! Jangan ada laki2 yg terasa...but frankly speaking, you think i care ah?

Istilah

*terkangkang tak buat apa2 serhopa cam telur dadar.

**muka nerd

Sent from Samsung Mobile

Update

Can feel the tinggle in my fingers.
Will be right back!

Katanya....
Namun apakan daya...i've lost my mojo.
Started off with the MH370. How to write gelak2 or complain about things when they're so insignificant compared to what the families are going through?

Mood hilang esp. When there were some people baru sehari kejadian berlaku dah sibuk2 update kat fb re. Apa nak masak hari tu, nak pi jenjalan mana, bergedik selfie and worse, asking around nak balik kampung nak naik airline apa since MAS....

Pastu ada yg tak puas hati selepas i menegur secara rawak i.e update my own status je pun..nampak sangat sekati cili dia makan. Ada aku kisah?

Well, itu saja. I lost my mood to write back then.
Anyway, kita masih doakan kesejahteraan those involved in MH370...

Jangan biarkan sodalam bersimpul

Salam and good morning uols!! 

Meh sini acik nak ngomel sikit. Sikit je...tak boleh banyak2 di pagi hari ini..pasai nanti adalah orang tu kang bising kata acik makan gaji buta (Kita mogok kang tak mo hapdate, baru tau!) Yelah...mentang2lah she's her own boss yg kononnya sokmo sibuk. Tapi kan..woi..sibuk sangatlah kan tapi sekejap2 ada je hapdate status pesbuk dgn gambar dia terlentang atas sofa dengan anak bulunya sekali. Dah2 la tu skodeng instagram adikputrak..buat2lah membaca forum penjagaan anak2 bulu ye...ada jugak pekdahnya.

Adalah i masuk fb page kelab diet ni...ada sorang follower tanya satu soklan yg takde kena mengena dgn diet. Nak mintak pendapat katanya. Dia cakap mak dia dah 2 hari mulut berdarah. Bila baring, lagi banyak keluar..apa dia patut buat? Apa ke vengongnya awak dik oi...mulut mak kuar darah without any triggering factor macam kena parang ke, cucuk sembilu ke..perlukah tanya lagi apa nak buat? Pi la bawak mak ke sepital dik oi!! Mesti la serius and ada underlying factor tu..

Yg tak tahan tu dr2 yg tak bertauliah memberi comments. Ada yg kata..haaa..kurang vitamin C dik non. Wah! Tanpa mengambil history and check mulutnya, boleh dah bagi diagnosis? Common ke penyakit scruvy kat mesia? Ada sorang pulak nyampuk...dia suh cari apa tah ubat ni...dia kata tu mesti barah gusi tu..dulu dia seminggu kena barah gusi..pas buh ubat tu terus baik. Aiyo...nak je mulut i ni berkata2..barah gusi? Have not heard of it esp. bab yg buh ubat sapu je pastu boleh baik. Am wondering why pencipta ubat tu tak dapat nobel prize for coming up with a cure for kanser/barah gusi..btw, kanser mulut ada..gusi je..takde. ish ish...comment2 yg diberikan sungguh la tak masuk akal uols!

Pastu ada yg tanya 'err...saya tak makan breakfast, lunch saya makan sikit je seperti yg disarankan and malam saya minum air kosong je..ok tak diet saya ni?' ..aiyaiyaiyaiyai...dik...sebelum nak buat sesuatu yg baru, adik pi la bertenet..cari informasi..baca banyak2 dulu.. Mana boleh diet cara cenggitu. Sama jugak ada sorang acik ni dulu pernah bagitau kat i. 'Kita minum oat je pagi2...tengahari tak makan apa2..petang je baru makan nasik. badan tak mo gak kurus2!'. Lerr makcik....kalau kilang tak dapat bahan mentah, boleh kah kilang berfungsi? Sama gak ngan badan kita..kalau takdak makanan to provide fuel, camna metabolisme nak berjalan? The body goes into starvation mode lah..maknanya metabolisme becomes slower. How to lose weight like this? There you go, lesson on human physiology sikit. (Dan awak...dah dah lah suh saya jadi maun je...). Ok back to the question akak yg tak makan tu, adalah orang2 yang comment. 'Eh..kalau awak dah biasa camtu, ok lah tu' . Haiyaaaa..sebelum beramal, kita kena berilmu...where to get ilmu? Go read up..

Pastu yg budak mati and a few other sakit because makan ayam tercemar with Salmonella tu. This came from Berita...i thought newsreader kena buat research sebelum be on air? Salmonella is not a virus ye...check your facts la dulu...Tegak bulu roma i mendengarnya..setegak camna i dengar sorang correspondent kat Hinglen ni pronounce Notting-em as Notting-ham..bila Esah tanya dia (btw, Esah ngaku yg acik tu idolanya), dia kata..oh mesti kesilapan tu during voice over. Piraah! Memang sah suara dia..and i'm not yet deaf as we speak.

Last but not least...this group of people yg really, really against modern medicine..of course news yg few days ago agak tidak membantulah...about this boy yg naik rashes, ulcers and what have you lepas makan ubat yg dr prescribed. Ada sokabar tabloid mana tah pi buh title besar 'Doktor beri racun'. Boleh?? Of course it didn't help with the pak budak pi buat report polis. Dalam kes camni, janganlah kita biarkan *sodalam kita bersimpul ye...buat kajian dulu...tunggu pandangan dari pakar..Takkanlah dr yg siuman nak bagi budak racun kut...what this boy had was severe allergic reactions to the drugs...it's called Steven Johnson's syndrome. Takkan dr tak tau..you may say. Well..unless the boy has had it before, no one would know. In the future, kalau dah ada known history and parents inform the dr and dr still bagi ubat yg sama, haaa..yg tu barulah boleh cakap 'DOKTOR BERI RACUN'. Tak cukup font size16, buh 44!

Oh yes...let's not get started with the anti-vaccine group....memang bagus ikut pemakanan sunnah..memang bagus makan habbatus sauda..tapi uols tak fikir ke yg vaccines are also a form of ikhtiar? Kalau anak you suffered from some form of adverse reactions from any vaccine, janganlah terus perang habis2an dgn segala jenis vaccine yg ada di muka bumi ni..he may be the unlucky 1 in a 1000 (katalah) to suffer from the reaction. And please, baca dgn lebih mendalam lagi before forming an opinion, please read scientific articles also..eh..read these first sebelum baca blog2 yg of course came from biased opinion. 

Lagi satu...masa i kena demam denggi dulu and temperature dah 39+ celcius, of course kena makan panadol macam kacang putih. That was the strongest anti-pyrexia i could take since i'm allergic to all other types. One day tu sampai misi2 suh i mandi air sejuk basah rambut semua (bayangkan di bilik beraircond..idak ke menggigil sampai ke tulang sumsum? Pastu, siap kena neb pasal semput pulak). Someone queried..dia kata..cer kurangkan sikit makan panadol tu...cer try mop je badan and minum air banyak2. Hmmm...OK..untuk informasi semua ye..if body temperature terlampau tinggi and you don't do anything fast to bring it down, the effect on the body is similar to heat stroke ye..Imagine budak2 yg mati lemas kepanasan terkunci dlm kereta..metaphorically speaking, the brain gets fried. So nak ke kita benda ni terjadi pada anak2 yg demam kat rumah and ibu bapa refused to bagi panadol or sewaktu dengannya kerana tak termasuk dlm pemakanan sunnah??? Yes, you boleh mandikan, mop badan dengan air, letak bawah kipas etc..but how fast? So think again.

Whatever it is, berilmulah sebelum beramal.

Sekian, terima kasih.


*jangan biarkan sodalam bersimpul = don't get your knickers in a twist = jangan la cepat gabra

I'mmmm every womaaannnn

We're going through a dry spell. Panas mengetit2 kata orang...segersang2 bumi, gersang lagi blog i ni...dah lama tak bersiaran. Nothing to talk about, boleh?

And then i tertengok KL drama festival what have you on tv last night....cameraman asyik dok zoom in kat Kek Foo...which btw, last week Esah dok keriau2 wartawan kat Melody pronounced nama Keith Foo jadi Kek Foo. Tetengok, MC semalam pun asyik dok Kek Foo, Kek Foo....Kek pun kek lah...tidak mengurangkan tahap kehensemannya..taste sungguh tau!

Tetiba je i terfikir pasal ArianaRose BNS* kawan si Esah..and also why worms should remain in the can bak kata makaji kita tu. Cemana orang yg beranak pinak sanggup meruntuhkan mahligai sendiri dan masjid orang lain just kerana chenta.

Well....chenta itu best...sapa yg tak pernah berchenta...ataupun paling kurang pun gila bayang kat somebody and we are convinced that person at least notice that we exist? Chenta sungguh mengasyikkan and lepas dapat tu, boleh high je macam lepas makan nasik kandar Kudu kat Jalan TAR. But in real life, perasaan jatuh chenta dan dichentai ni tak boleh sustain lama2...imagine kalau asyik dok nyerongen je sepanjang hari. aka mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena..physiologically human body cannot sustain maaa..

Anyway, mukadimah melalut2.

Bila kita kahwin, kita haraplah yg panas sampai ke petang. lepas dah jadi mak pak orang semua. OK la, some marriages are set to fail from the start e.g. pasangan panas baran, kaki pukul, berjudi etc. But then ada yang nampak macam oookkkkkk je...takde gelombang yg rock the boat...calm waters all the way.
Tapi.....mana tau one partner tu rasa cam hambar je. If laki hambar? Apa susah, masih ada pilihan yang dibolehkan..if pompuan?

Hambar camna?  Read on.

Ada orang komplen laki jeles nak mamps...ada laki yang bini pakai seluar katanya sebab nak tayang bontot kat mamat afghan jual carpet. Ada laki yang dah kena kencing manis (paham2 je lah), umur pun dah dekat 6o tapi bini komplen yang dia asyik kena dicuit ramas sana sini, walaupun depan anak2..and laki asyik dok kata eiii..geramnya i tengok you ni. Boleh?

Well....what if your hubby gets more excited of Candy Crush ke, kayu golf ke or kepala paip rather than the sight of you? You can be dancing naked in the rain and dia akan continue baca sokabar or belek Ipeknya. And you know what, to have your partner not see you as a woman...well, it's kinda depressing..

Ustad2 pun kata..ong pompuan ni nak dibelai2...nak dipicit2...whateverlah kan. Pujilah sekali sekala even if you have to lie through the teeth. Ada orang tu boleh notice staff2 pompuannya asyik2 buh lotion kat tangan...bini yang bertepek2 45 jenis serum and moisturiser tiap2 malam tak notice pulak? I wonder who this husband thinks the wife is doing it for? 

Yes, i think that's what is happening to AR BNS...she has transformed into this being yg husbandnya dah tak nampak. But still orang kata..apa ke halnya sampai nak pi ikut jantan lain? Not everyone is strong or has kepala yg firmly screwed on. Mungkin yg sound or kuat pegangannya akan tunggu je lah bidadara kat sorga (got such thing ka??) atau tak pun tunggu je lah Kek Foo lookalike kat sorga nanti. But people do succumb to temptations..kengkadang rasa desperate sangat that Bangla cleaner kat office senyum kat dia pun dah kata Bangla tu syok kat dia...or pi medical checkup and boleh tangkap cintan kat dr yg buat examination tu...kata lembutnya tangan..sopannya..Or Indon kerja renovation depan rumah jiran yg usha dia pun dia rasa tersipu2..Or ex-boipren saja nak bukak can of worms by asking her to buatkan kek utk si jantan pun boleh buat pompuan middle age tu tersengih2 mengimbau kenangan lama. Why? And these are all married women i'm talking about dan adalah cerita benar. Nothing is worse to a woman than her husband yg dah tak sedar dia tu pompuan. Orang jantan ni asyik nak ungkit2 pasal oooo..berdosa kalau isteri tak mau melayan suami di ranjang...if vice versa apa pulak hukumnya? Tak pulak ong pompuan nak keriau2 pasal tu kan...pasal malulah dikatakan asyik nak nakkk je...Sorry la..masuk bab 18sx pulak. Actuallynya idaklah pompuan nak sangat yg wham bam thankyou maam but what we want is...noticelah yg saya ni pompuan, ada boobs, suka melawa, suka beli baju baru, tukar pesen rambut, tukar kaler2 rambut...wangi ke tak bila dah berperfume tu, kurus ke tak bila seminggu dah tak makan nasik..susah ke?

My mum and dad had a really turbulent marriage. Pinggan, penyapu, periuk, apalagi yang tak pernah melayang?  Lari dari rumah, pak i pi kejar..apalagi? Memang pasangan padaiyappa ammapoddi tulen. Kenkadang dulu i pernah terfikir,....adoii..kalau asyik nak bercakar je, pi la dok asing2. Pastu bila baik, cakap berkias2 saja yg bila dah besar panjang ni baru i compute. I do think the sex must be good...(phwoarrr cakap dah tak berlapik!) Ye la..kalau tak takkan la at the age of past 50, my mum boleh suh i tolong carikan dia Ky jelly..(i did test her kot2 dia tersilap and nak vaseline utk buh bibirke...oh tidak ye..tiada kekhilafan di situ..sampai laa ni i geli geleman bila ngenangkannya). If not for that, i think mum prolly would have bungkused a long time ago. And i kid you not, she's not the type yg takut ada 'gelaran' or takut tak leh tanggung diri seniri, anak etc. My dad, for whatever his faults were..yes, he did notice mum. Org tu pakai baju apa, yg mana yg lawa, bini orang mana yg lagi gemuk etc. I tell you, it made mum felt very much like a woman.

OK, back to AR BNS..mungkinkah lakinya begitu? I told Esah...macam set2 pak BridgetJones. quiet dependable type...bagus in a way but... B.O.R.I.N.G...!.Well, the mum did run off with another man kan? And she did say yg dia rasa dirinya tak disayangi dek pak BJ.

OK, menyelit sikit pasal AR yg sebenar..i geli geleman nengok episodes 2, 3 yg terakhir. Asyik merajuk, pujuk, imam i, imam i tak habih2! All throughout, kepala i dok bagi ulasan selari..bila AR letak kepala atas riba  Adam...hmmm...dlm 2 tahun kawin boleh la kut. Pastu mesti AK akan komplen berat la...panas la...and tah hapa2 lagi. Saying that, i have a friend yg cite pak dia sampai sekarang akan baring letak pala atas mak dia...awwww...sweet sangat! But the pak is ustad yg bukan calang2 orang...ikut sunnah nabi lah tu..Kalau ong jantan kita, dia nak letak pala bukan atas riba existing bini, dia nak pi bersunnah kawin lagi satu baru nak buat sunnah letak pala atas riba tu.

Back to AR BNS...mungkin their marriage can still be salvaged..pi la counselling laki bini. Orang laki ni dia taknak dengar bila bini yg cakap..cakap keling botol lagi dia percaya dari cakap bini. Also, not to mention ego..I kesian kat AR BNS sebenarnya..she must have been so desperate that dia rasa ni jelah jalan keluar untuk dia rasa cam pompuan.

Ngertik?

*ArianaRose Bukan Nama Sebenar

Kena kencing

Cerita kena kencing i ni takde kena mengena dgn hantu langsuir (atau langsuyor kata ong kampung i). Although stories of hantu langsuyor yang suka mengencing  orang dari atas pokok would have made a more interesting read.

Kencing mengencing can happen to an individual...or boleh juga berlaku secara berjemaah.

Masa i kat tadika, i ingat lagi sorang budak ni. Dia jadi kapla ajak main tepi longkang. But bila kena tangkap dgn cikgu kitaorang, dia boleh pura2 buat rhope nerd and join bebudak lain yg tengah main kawin2. So, tinggallah i ngan kawan i sorang ni je yg terkebil2 kena dengar lecture berjela2 dari Miss Ammapoddi, class teacher kitaorang. Lepas tadika, oooiii tak terkiranya banyak adegan kencing mengencing ni right through primary and secondary school. But bila dah develop conscience, kita pun wise up lah kan bahawa sesunggunya mengencing orang tu adalah perbuatan yang sungguh keji.

It happened to a friend masa tengah masters dulu. We all had soo many assignments to do. Some smart alec cadangkan yang sorang buat A, orang tu buat B and tah sesapa lagi buat assignment C. pastu tukar2 and copy lah secara berhemah (dan pandai..janganlah plagiat sebijik2 ok!). I was not involved pasal bukanlah kerana i ni terror or ArianaRose sangat orangnya but purely due to the fact that kursus derang lain uols! In the end Miss X and Mr Y ni je yg berkomplot...so what kan...bukannya masuk peksa pun. No big deal. One fine day, they were both called to the dean's office dgn tuduhan yg sungguh berat ya itu...i pun tak paham sebenarnya...mengopy each other??? Like i said...it was not during examination. And i'm sure they copied intelligently, apa bezanya if they were a part of group discussion? Points would still remain the same kan?. They were let off with a strict warning. But kecoh la..sampai SV, dean semua terlibat. The question until today, sapa yg pi kencing derang?

At my previous post, kita orang semua one happy family. Cam adik beradik, gelak2, makan sesama, baik jantan tino. Because they were just us, takdak staff lain lagi masa tu. One day, a few of the guys kena warning dengan the big boss, kononnya berkelakuan tidak mencerminkan diri mereka yg semuanya swomi orang. Haaa?? Sampai aktiviti2 tertentu boss boleh tahu..(err..bukan scandalous activities ye...but those like makan ABC kul 11 pagi, bawah pokok kind of thing). Lainlah CCTV ada merata2, kan? So..the question until today is...siapakah yg telah pass urine on his friends and kenapa?

In my second job, the big boss cakap berkobar2...janji itu ini...janji untuk mencari staff2 baru utk mengurangkan kesengsaraan we all yg terpaksa jadi sotong sana sini. What do you know? Rhope2nya dia bapak penipu paling besar...at the same time dia mengepalai  pledge aku janji setiap naik tahun, dia jugak berkomplot utk menubuhkan company baru...menggunakan waktu pejabat dan sumber2 sedia ada utk had yg lagi satu. Konon nak carikan staff baru, staff yg sedia ada pun nak dicopetnya dengan janji2 manis mu. Sungguh la tiada rasa perasaan bersalah orang tua tu...bila terserempak kat mana2 (well the fraternity taklah sebesar mana), dia pulak yang ignore kita buat cam tak nampak and taknak tegur. Pergh!

Baru2 ni, kena kencing berjemaah..both yg kena and yg buat. People always say niat takkan menghalalkan cara...but in this case, niat yang tak betul tapi tengah terkial2 utk buat cara tu jadi 'legal'. Come on lah awak..kami bukan budak bodoh. I hope you are mighty pleased with yourself. Tak payah la nak cari 10000 alasan trying to justify your actions because at the end of the day, you are only accountable to god. Apa yg dalam hati awak, cuma Allah saja yg tahu.

Merapu

Bila tengah malam, i tend to merapu. Layan je lah...

Kawan2 ketat i ajak i berjimba slumber party di hotel mewah, kata mereka tadi. Waduhhh! Saya sudah tiada stamina...semalam tido cuma 4 jam kut...slept around 2am, and woken up around 5 something by MG. Itu time dia biasa bangun...tapi pakcik tido kul 9pm! Dia bukak tutup lemari pilih baju apa dia nak pakai pi kerja pagi tuh...saya pun terjaga.

Tadi memang tingin jugak nak ikut kengkawan saya...tapi...saya nak rawat laki saya...ish ish...rawat la Esah! Bukan santau! Walaupun kengkadang tu...hish...tak baik pikir yg bukan2!

Kakinya macam ada kuping2...sebelah kakinya bengkak from the knee down. Rhope2nya dah berhari2 camtu but pakcik tak cakap kat saya. These past few days, people around me dropped dead like flies...just like that. I am sooo disturbed by it that it sent me straight to the supermarket and got myself 2 big packets of oatbran. Satu letak kat rumah, satu untuk office. Macam magic beans pulak..bagi superhuman power.

With kaki MG, all sorts went through my mind..yes, i'm a hyperchondriac. But pakcik ni pulak, bila suh pi sepital, oh esok tak boleh, ada meeting. Khamis tak boleh ada ...whatever! So i told him, i don't want you to die now bec anak2 kecik lagi and i taknak rheta yg tak seberapa ni habis kena bayar hutang2 you. Some people needed the shock tactic. I even took the day off to accompany him...he went off to work afterwards, and i went to take a nap. Drained...but not before si swomi cakap i ngabihkan duit kerajaan buang masa tak habih2 phd lagi dgn tidooo, boleh? Kalau biarkan je kata tak pedulikan pasal dia...buat masa utk dia kata buang masa pulak. 

Anyway, bila nak ke spital, he asked me which one? I said, lets not go to so and so bec i rasa dr2 dia cam tak pandai. But ended up kat situ pasal MG nak dekat and cepat (ye lah meeting petang kang bisnes million2 rupiah ngalahkan tengku adam). The dr prescribed antibiotics lepas cakap  ' allergic ni'. Ish! I didnt go into the surgery with him. No blood test done. Aiyaaa! Kalau camtu je, i pun boleh tenyeh2 kat kertas, cop and pi beli antibiotics kat pharmacy je.

Nanti kang if i bawak balik jarum, tube, torniquet semua kang mesti dia tak confident pulak bininya nak ambikkan darah hantar for testing.

Dah tak pergi berjimba malam ni, i mintak nak nengok kakinya. Seperti biasa MG akan protest ala2 manja gitu. Dia salu sangsi yg i nak ambik kesempatan atas dirinya. Feeling2 Ariana Rose sangat dia kan?  I nak letak ubat gamat kat kudis/bisul?? ...i kan ong kampung je...sikit2 minyak gamat. He asked, why gamat? I said luka cepat kering and tried and tested a good anti fungal. I said i should know...mujarab on Abang Kuning - kucing kurap kat luar rumah tu...:) I ambik gambar...buh duit syiling doposen sebelah lesion tu utk compare size. Pakcik sangsi..i cakap, nak le evidence pre- treatment camna (dan nak wasap kat Baung and En. Sotong mintak pendapat. Depa pandai2...dalam kelas dulu depa pay attention lebih gamaknya). Dia cakap no wonder la bila pi sepital dr2 salu ambik masa lama. Errr..dr tak bertauliah kat rumah ni je yg buat camtu. Memula2 sangsi pastu lebih2 pulak semua yg rhope cam bisul/jerawat kat kaki dia suh bubuh minyak. Kawan ketat i tu cakap yg i takut kat laki. Hmmm...bukan takut...sayang sangat i kata..(nak pi clear the throat kejap).

MG suka grunt grunt je dgn i...but once dia terlepas cakap that 'i rock his world'..hah? Ulang sekali lagi? Sekali tu je la...suh ulang pun tak hingin. But the next day he said 'gila aku buat dek bini'. :)

Bear with me je la...this post banyak pasal mati, mati, mati...Esah cakap i mungkin get to go before MG..bec she said i'm selfless..haa? Selfless is like kawan sorang tu yg salu volunteer buat mercy flight..like Esah yg salu bagi discount perkhidmatan dia.  Yg sanggup esok2 nak masuk kg orang asli hantar donation...me? The spirit is willing but the flesh takut pacat..

Satu hari tu ada uncle jatuh motor lepas kena langgar..about 10 feet away from my car which was stationary. I froze...masa muda2 dulu, masa apa yg pernah belajar masih fresh kat otak, i cakap kat MG: kalau ada accident berlaku depan mata kita, you have to stop. I am under the obligation to provide assistance semana yg boleh. Kekwat....

Dah tu, suddenly one happened right before my eyes and i froze. Uncle baring terlungkup. I fear kalau ditelentangkan...what if muka tersagat atas jalanraya? I rasa cam nak menyorok. Mula menyesal napa la aku lari dari 'kerahan tenaga' dulu.....but then, it could have been my father. Who did jatuh motor, and went home all bloodied, on his own. Takde orang nampak...hence no one helped. That got me started..the thought of my dad. The least i could do was to call for an ambulance. Which i did. I keluar kereta...mana ler budak dua orang ni...they would have been more qualified than me to perform...whatever. Sorang has first aid skills right at her finger tips...sorang lagi? Tanpa sthethoscope gantung kat leher pun ong boleh percaya dia dr..apatah lagi baru2 ni i dengar dia pasang catheter atas katebang lagi! But at this moment, kedua2nya hampeh! Entah apa buat dlm toilet lama sangat!

A few men came to help...dpd eh what should i do, i boleh jadi supervisor lak kat situ. Support head, jangan bagi dia pengsan, keep talking to him, kata i. The uncle takde nampak luka mana2 pun..sib baik bec any blood yg bukan dari mulut sungguhla menakutkan i.

Then, ambulance sampai...elok2 kawan i dua orang tu turun dari 'kayangan'. 'Eh, ko bagitau diaorang ko doktor ke? ' kata kawan i tu (sapa lagi kan? Cer teka..)

Shushhhh! I said...At the same time i'm telling the ambulance driver dgn assistant dia yg uncle tu kena bawak pi checkup kat spital walaupun takde nampak darah (and he could communicate by then) pasal tadi adala dlm 2-3 minit dia LOC ye..Oops!

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Cleanliness 101

Nothing interesting to tell, so i mengomel kosong je lah ye?

I made mushroom quiche to be brought to the office today. I like baking. I like feeding people with stuff that i have baked. Sapakah lagi yang akan mengappreciatenya kalau tak orang2 kat ofis ni yg suka makan? But of course i buat utk orang2 kat rumah dulu...Baby X semalam kata suka and makan sampai 3 ketul..hari ni dah kata tak suka pulak. Little D makan satu utk jaga hati i. MG cakap mmm sedap tapi takde pulak dia berebut2 mintak second helpings pulak? So bila i buat utk ofis pagi ni, dia kata, ni nak impress kawan2lah tu...sheesshhh! He just doesn't get it that someone yg suka baking cam i, the pleasure of seeing other people devouring what you have cooked with gusto as opposed to orang bila kita tanya, sedap tak? Sedaaaapppp...bunyi macam tak ikhlas and pastu terpeleot cam kononnya kita buat utk orang laiiiiin je and bukan utk dia (complicated kan??). 

I secretly aspire to be a part time baker...suka kalau ada orang tempah suh kita bake something. MG cakap i ni baking ala2 'seasonal' je...ye lah...satu ketika dulu i baked cuppies left, right and centre. siap dgn icing lagi. Paksa dia bawak gi office..the operative word is paksa. I then had to eat most what i have baked because pakcik bagi banyak alasan kalau suh bawak...piled on 5kgs. So I had to stop baking. (ingatkan tadi nak meluahkan perasaan thru blogging tapi bila kenang balik rasa geraaammm sangat ni). Esah kononnya nak jadi supportive ...but she only eats oxygen and drink diet coke..OK la, the occasional kipap...i think during her thyroid surgery, something must have happened to her...dia dah tak kuat melantak (bring back the old Esah yg boleh tambah nasik lapan kali!). Yes..i love baking ...kalau ada sesapa cakap kat i, tingiiiiiiiinnn nak makan bingka labu for e.g....kalau tak esok, lusa i bawak. The excitement starts from looking for the perfect recipe on the internet, reading the reviews, going to the supermarket looking for the ingredients and making it. I must love baking as much as i love napping in the afternoon.

Tadi i jadi toliet monitor. I keluarkan notice etika penggunaan tandas. Mentality orang Mesia. Bila kata masih tahap dunia ke3, marah..but toilet etiquette? Last week i poo poo kat public toilet kat this shopping complex. Nak basuh tangan kat sink tengok dgn rambut and plaster di buang dlm sink. This group of young girls asyik dok kirai2 rambut depan cermin and sibuk berselfie. Hampa punya rambut la kan????!!! Tisu basah biar je tepi sink padahal the bin is only 2 feet away. Back to toilet kat ofis ni, orang basuh bekas makanan and sink tersumbat because of the sisa pepejal. Aku la yg dok curah garbage enzyme down the sinkhole to unblock it. Sampai nak habis la supply G.E i!

Sometimes i terfikir, manalah depa letak otak depa ni? Dia ingat the sisa2 nasi tu would just disappear down the drain pipe kut. This reminds me when i had to share a house with some juniors. Lepas breakfast pagi2 depa just tinggal breadcrumbs on the table and sekitar toaster. Did they expect the crumbs would just disappear into thin air given time? When i asked them to clean after themselves, depa dok kuis crumbs tu ke atas lantai. Bila sink tersumbat, depa kept on gunakan the sink. Otak letak kat lutut pastinya. Masa i masters pulak, i pulak joined these group of junior medical students. A house without any duty roster, boleh? Kalau ada sorang yg memnag rajin and volunteer to clean the house, tak pe jugak. Ni? Hareeemmmmm! The grime in the bathtub??? Ya ampunnn! When i cleaned it a few days after i came in, i overheard their sembang2..depa cam amazed bathtub berkilat and air laju and tak bertakung dalam bathtub. Future doctors (then) ye tuan puan. Kalau dapat hosmet yg rajin (adalah sekali dua), waaah...best, amannn je perasaan. Kalau dapat yg kerojenya asyik ngulit boipren je..rasa cam nak cekik2 dua2nya sekali.

Sib baiklah laki i bukan jenis yang meninggalkan 'ular sawa berlingkar' or 'pretzels' atas lantai. Or buat dapur kat ruang tamu...Life's little blessings gitu..

CNN

There's this person..acik ni suka bercerita. Kalau cerita pasal hikayat malim deman ke, no harmlah...cite lah sampai ke pagi. Thing is, dia suka cite and takde tapis2. For e.g. Katalah A meluahkan perasaan kat dia. Mungkin ada yg ok dan tak ok pasal cite A. Kalau kita yg peka ni, kita takdelah cite apa yg A luahkan pada another person, lets say B, kerana kita tau B cant stand A. Bukan A mengata B pun, cuma B and A memang takde chemistry. But B ni lepas mendengar cerita dari si polan pasal A, bertambah2lah meluatnya kat A walaupun cerita tu takde kena mengena pasal dia pun.

And there are some things yg bila orang bercerita kat kita about someone else for e.g. Eiii awat dia tembam sangat sekarang or i think she needs to go to the gym. Si acik tu mungkin gelak je bec she found it funny and bukan dia yg kena panggil topui pun. It should just end therelah kan. But oh noooo...acik just had to tell the topui person, si so and so thinks you should go to the gym ...and pastu dia gelak2 cam funny sangat. Of courselah orang tu annoyedlah jugak...bukan kat orang yg menggelar but more to acik CNN bec  dia pulak yg terlebih2 excited.

Lepas tu adalah sekali tu pasal C and D. These two memang sworn enemieslah katakan. C said some unkind things about D. We all yg tau cuma diam je pasal wat apa nak agrokan si D kan. Oh tidak, acik just had to tell D about it and spoil D's moods.

Thing is, acik ni manusia yg kurang sensitip. Mungkin dia expect other people should take things lightly cam dia jugak. And also insensitip to peel2 orang lain...yg si polan ni jenis yg tak kisah so boleh la dengar cite pasal orang ngata dia whereas yg ni pulak kalau bab2 berkenaan janganlah pulak disampaikan pada dia..

And acik blur (or blurriness is her defense mechanism) tak paham2, mode eh i tak buat apa2 apsal semua orang nak tuduh i ni? Duh!

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Selingan

I have only about 10 minutes to celoteh. Ye lah...dlm 24 jam, masa sungguh terhad...kena pandai2 bagikan masa..kalau nak tunggu cukup masa sampai kiamat takkan cukup. Well, dgn fon2 canggih zaman sekarang, we can always hapdate on the go gitu kan...

Well uols, statement kat atas tu i tujukan pada kawan kita...i said to her, Esah..hapdate la...memula dia kata yes...ada a few drafts dah..Pastu ha...i think i want to blog about that woman....then, i sibuk berniaga ni....last sekali dia cakap malam kang lepas main2 dgn cucu2 bulu, dia akan hapdate. Janji capati buatan padaiyappa betul kawan kita tu! Then tup tup i tengok blognya dah di privatekan this morning. Katanya sebab i salu harrass dia..ces! Ginilah uols, esah cakap dirinya sudah tidak relevan lagi..dia sudah tidak fofuler...she's a has been katanya (this one i put words into her mouth).

Like the title, this is only a selingan..uols pegi la pulak harras (i have to go to the toilet), eh bukan, pujuk acik tu. Bajet diva sangat.

Parenthood

Haritu Esah bercerita tentang anak orang...today i nak bercakap pasal mak pak orang. I ni kan bekerja dgn budak-budak...sometimes (eii no! Most of the times!) i rasa cam nak cubit-cubit tak manja je budak2 tu. But then i think, it's not their fault, it's the parents. OK, ni i nak listkan tabiat2 mak pak yang  salu buat i terkir, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!'. Yes, yes...you may say, eleh, camlah dia tu perfect..eh tak...you can ask MG..Sometimes i lock myself in the room..i pulak yg time out, bukan bebudak tu...anak2 i pun boleh tahan jugak naughtynya but they know i'm the boss and at the end of the day, i rule....ok..paknya some of the times..and when aunty police comes over, she does!

1. 'Tak boleh nak tengok Berita memalam...Abu nak tengok kartun dia..'
In the first place, awat pi bagi budak tu tengok tv ikut sesuka hati time dia? Kalau set2 budak yg dok rumah, does that mean dari celik sampai tup mata ngadap tv je? Baby X and Little D salu komplen, mama Abu kasi dia tengok kartun malam2. OK, go ask bibik to pack your bags and go live with Abu. Itu jawapan i. Malam no tv, siang pun start kul 3pm. Before that, go amuse yourself some other ways.

2. Dopohpatjam ngadap ipek, ipong, tab etc.
Sampai masa makan pun ngadap, pi orang kawin pun muka tak angkat, ramai kawan datang rumah pun tak di pedulikannya. Lagi 'best', bagi anak sorang satu ipek pasal tak nak gaduh. Pastu dok keriau napa anak takde kawan kat taska, tak tau bersosial ngan orang. You think ada tak bebudak kat taska tu muka empat segi and can respond dengan guna jari? Pastu heboh teacher komplen budak tak dengar instructions...cemana dia nak ikut instructions when instructions are audio and the child is so used to visual stimulation. Kids need to hear, feel, touch and see to learn...You feed them with those things kononnya nak expose depa kat hitech gadgets..
Sapa kata tak boleh benda2 tu semua but you have to be in controllah. Say like 1 hour/day ke, weekends only ke...Kids need discipline, they need to learn the boundaries. But tak boleh la umur 4 tahun baru nak start discipline when before that dia dah 'happy hour' sokmo.

3. 'Dia menangis-nangis tak nak'
This can be daripada disuruh tido, tak yah pakai pampers dah, berus gigi or tak yah hisap botol...
so what kalau nangis2? Takkannnya dia nangis sampai jadi kassimslamat. And i'm not talking about toddlers here, i'm talking about kekanak yang dah nak masuk jah satu. Parents balik kerja kecoh2 and taknak bising pening kepala, ikutkan je budak tu. Bila dah terantuk, baru nak terngadah...datang jumpa dentist, habis semua gigi kena cabut. What do you expect? Beruskan gigi anak time raya je, pastu gonggong botol 24/7 and balik kerja bawak sweets tuk anak2. Kalau yang mak pak mampu, minuman ruji is yoghurt drink lah, rebinalah, air gaslah....bila anak2 menyerongen..haaa..tu dia...gigi bak pagar nak rebah..kuning, cekelat, hitam warna semua ada. Bagi sweets tak kira masa, budak2 pun hyper semacam gaya cam boleh panjat siling. Bukan tak boleh semua tu....boleh...but limitlah...weekends only..or once a day je ke...
Yg had2 pakai pampers sokmo tu, rajinlah sikit mak pak oiii..bukannya tak boleh train to go without. Budak cakap dah petah tapi apa kes bontot masih berbonjol?

4. Budak2 yang mak paknya tengokkkkk je apa dia buat
Tanpa larangan. Anak ko dah debik budak lain ke, anak awak pamerkan sikap anti-soc kat palyground ke...ko diammmmm je...lebih teruk lagi kalau ada set2 mak pak yg gelak thinking it's so funny. Selalunya sore je kuat menegur and it ends there. Anak dah melompat2 main lecah or menari2 atas meja makan yg penuh dgn lauk..but the child is so used to dengar sore mak paknya yang cam halilintar..setakat tu je lah kan. No other action taken so budak pun dah tahu, eleh, mak aku tu..
Once upon a time, i went to this birthday party anak kawan. Masa tu i bujang lagi. There was this one boy, around 5. Setiap present yg birthday girl dapat, budak jantan tu yg bukak. Kalau dia tak berkenan, dia pulak yg campak present tu. I ngan kawan i menengok muka dah masam kelubi sensorang pasal geraaaammmm sangat kat budak tu ngan mak pak dia yg ketawa je. Pastu ambik video anaknya. Pastu panggil baby, baby...Ini satu lagi i tak paham...i can just tolerate kalau budak pompuan yg kena panggil baby..but budak laki yang dah past baby stage? You nak anak you jadi sissy ke? Back to the story..and then ada this Siamese lady, dia babap betis budak tu. Ha kau! Terus budak tu tergamam and senyap....jadi little lamb for the rest of the party..(dan dunia kembali selamat..hahaha). Mak paknya pun tergamam jugak..padan muka hang la kan! (Budak ni memanglah 'heronya'. One time tu, dia datang rumah my friend (Sotong aka MSU) and dia nak main dengan my friend's laptop. Sotong tak kasi and dia pi terkam kaki kawan tu and gigit! berbekas tanda gigi 20 kat Sotong punya ankle. Ganas tak ganas??)
Do not spare the rod. But don't babap bila dalam keadaan marah...because the force memukul tu jadi terlebih2..it had happened to me. When i felt the cane myself, ooh..gaya cenggini dah sakit apatah lagi bila tengah marah kan. Explain to the child what he did that was wrong..punishment tetap punishment. Janganlah explain berjela2 cam sistem NHS kat UK sinun, pastu isi borang biru, submit borang merah etc. Punish there and then. 

5. 'Bagikannnn....'
Budak nangis nak something, mak pak atau sorang akan cakap, 'bagikannnn'. This can be from toys to nak main kat playground sampai nak masuk maghrib. Atau bila pi Car4 etc., barang yang dia nak tu je dah dekat penuh separuh trolley. Oh yes it happens...Kids do that kan..napsu membuak2. But sebab tu le mak pak mesti set boundary. Pilih satuuuu je yg paling nak sekali. Kalau pada i, i'm talking about barang makanan...kalau toys..malam sikit lah. Apa kes kalau setiap kali kuar rumah bawak balik soft toy..or tractor ke...yang kat rumah pun tak habis main lagi. Why? Because parents just malas nak 'konfrantasi' dgn anak. Sapa suh? I just don't negotiate.
Ada sorang pak ni terpaksa beli CD hindustan. Why? Pasal anak lakinya yg 4 tahun dah guling peghain atas lantai kedai jerit2 nak CD tu. Orang yang menjaganya salu pasang CD hindustan utk dia tengok. Aiyaiyaiyaiyai...kalau barney ke, upinipin ke ada jugak ampun maapnya.I would have just walked away, cakap kat dia, when you are done, you know where to find me. Biar le orang ramai nak cakap apa pun, sekali tu je budak tu akan buat camtu.

Stop saying, ala..budak2 memanglah camtu. Contohnya kenkadang tengok kat restaurants. Yg had ketuk2 meja dengan sudu, yang lompat sana sini..yg kita merati ni risau dia terlanggar sama waiter yg tengah bawak makanan. Yang makan berdiri kat kerusi..Mak pak sibuk mengadap henfon masing2, idak nak tegur or restrain bebudak tu. Atau depa sibuk makan and expect people to understand that they are just kids. Oh no no no...there are really well-behaved kids out there. Yg jenis kat umah pun tak buat hal, kat luar pun elokkkk je. It's discipline, discipline, discipline. But disciplining your kids mesti la start dari awal.....

Setakat ni, tu je lah...buat masa ni.

Menyengat sikit ye

Just a quick one.

I know these three ladies. I've sort of 'given up' on them. Tau tak jenis yang adaaaa je masalah..tak pernah tanpa masalah. We are not talking about hari ni masalah buat kek tak jadi, minggu depan nak dinner baju tak muat, anak ponteng sekolah etc. Ni masalahnya sama je sejak dari zaman jepun dulu. Bila kita bagi opinion how to get yourself out of that shit, ada je pulak alasannya.

Take pompuan A for instance. Bencik sama lakinya...masalah dari 30 tahun dulu. Laki tak memahami...laki serope laki kelly..very chauvinistic. Laki selalu menangkan anak...At the same time bila mengomel2 ni, boleh pulak holiday overseas sama laki dua, tiga kali setahun. Badan penuh meh intan berlian. Apa nak semua dapat..as long as she knows how to 'menggosok' the husband. But bab gosok menggosok ni dia tak minat (bak mai kat i!). Bila laki bagi peluang holiday obersea dgn kengkawan, bila balik dia boleh komplen tak best la...susah la takde orang angkat beg...takde orang nak suh beli2kan benda...ISH! Kononnya nak menunjukkan kat anak laki that she can be independent but first trial dah fail. Bila dah gaduh teruk sangat, kita pun mendengarlah buat ke 500 kalinya..i said, if you are so unhappy, why don't you leave? Takde duit katanya..duit dlm bank semua laki pegang (dia hoswipe). Errrrr...tu rantai meh cam tali ikat lembu tu? Rantai tangan cam sauh kapal tu? Wouldn't you think kalau orang had dah desperate tu..takde meh, 'sotong kering' lace aku gadaikan! Bila suh jumpa kaunselor utk mencari jalan penyelesaian, dia boleh kata, eh..napa dia pulak nak kena pi jumpa? Bukan dia yg menimbulkan masalah tu. Bongok! 500 kali jugak i dah beritau dia yg jumpa kaunselor is for he to find peace within herself...or tau camna nak cope dgn 'setan'2 kat rumah tu. Tapi leh jawab camtu..how else can you tolong lagi???

Pompuan B. Yang ni..ooooo..i so want to be loved....love me....i want my husband to pamperrr me....kenapa husband i tak pedulikan i lagiiii? Well, case ni lagi chronic. Memula this lady went on and on how she doesn't love the husband anymore. Pastu bagi cold shoulder kat laki...laki nak kena 'gosok' pun dia tak nak (sorry la..banyak betul nak kena guna istilah gosok arini. Nak cakap terang-terangan takut lak anak daras like Piah and Esah kamjat, kan...). Pastu dia cakap, cara lakinya nak pujuk was to buy her handbag mahal2. OK..i don't get this. Laki tersua2 dulu, dia tak nak. Tapi hadiah dari laki, nak..! Boleh? It does my head in. Now agaknya the hubs also jual mahal la jugak kan...it's not as if dia tu jantan takdak 'quality'...now the pompuan pulak bising why the hubs doesn't woo her anymore. So i told her, go sort your marriage out. Sampai bila nak hidup tak happy camni (walaupun happiness is subjective and some people like this one needs someone yg expert (definitely not me) to tell her, oi! Ramai lagi orang kat dunia ni yang ada masalah yg lebih besar, rather than sindrom tak cukup kasih sayang camni). I told her i know this marriage counsellor/psychiatrist, his name is so and so, go call him up to fix an appointment. One fine morning she texted me, 'oh...i cannot la go to this psy...i don't think i can get passed his taik lalat' Boleh? So pundek tau! (tu dia, tercarut i) So i told her, dah, i tak mau dengar masalah dia yang sebegitu lagi....oh, sungguh la dia panas hati dengan i kerana telah dia deleteku dari fbnya..it's ok...i don't think i can stand any longer looking at her pics updates yang sungguh menunjukkan 'kesengsaraannya'.

Esah told me that she doesn't tolerate people. But me, i have patience yg sungguh tinggi. But itupun it's wearing thin..maybe it's old age...maybe pasal demam haritu...

One morning i woke up and decided that kalau umur dah nak mencecah 40 atau dah lepas 40 and all you can think off is me, me and me...pastu balik2 kat issue tu with no bunyi2 nak perbaiki keadaan..dah dah la tu i nak mendengarnya. If you can't give back to humankind etc., then, you are just a waste of space. Banyak lagi masalah yg lebih berat kat dunia ni. Maybe these people are so unhappy because all they think of are how people should do this, this and this for them...like Esah said, there's a different kind of satisfaction when you pulak yang bagi, contribute, do something to make this world a better place. Tak yah le tetiba nak jual rumah semua bagi kat charity..maybe can start with bagi kucing anjing strays makan..gi kutip sampah kat park.....buat cake bagi kat orphanage....banyak lagi cara2nya. For once, just fikirlah that the world doesn't revolve around just you.

There, i've said my peace.

P/S 3rd story lain kali je la naaa..

Business minded

Ok, just a quickie since i'm in a rush. Di hari Jumaat yang mulia ini, bukan tujuan saya nak mengumpat, tapi nak bercerita...moga2 kalau sapa yang berperangai sebegitu, silalah terasa makan cili, ye? Ubah2lah perangai tu..

1. Kawan i ni buat part time kat tempat kerja kawan dia ni..contohnya ofis la katakan ye. Then in the midst or serving a customer, instrument yg dia gunakan rosak. Dua, tiga hari lepas tu, kawan dia ni yg juga tuan empunya company tu, tunjuk kat dia receipt cost pembaikan alatan yg rosak tu. She expected my friend to pay cost yg dekat seribu tu because dia cakap, well, it broke down when my friend was using it. WTH &^%^&* kan?! I'm sure like all machines, mesti ada wear and tear kan? Furthermore, it just so happened that thing zonked out while my friend was using it...And dia pun ramai part timers yg lain...so syoknya tuan empunya company tu kan? Zero maintenance fee because, yes...just make your parttimers pay for the damage. Yg kawan i ni, punyalah nak tolong kawan, tup2 gaji dia satu hari tu kena bayar benda yg rosak tu pulak. I told her to refuse..tapi, kawan i ni cakap, if she were to do that, that woman will make her assistants pulak bayar, putting the blame on them kononnya tak tau menjaga alatan tu. Lagipun berapa banyak sangatlah gaji assistants kan.. Pastu, kalau ada client yg company depa bayarkan charge perkhidmatan, this woman would deduct 10% from my friend's pay because dia cakap nak claim dari company2 yg berkenaan selalu lambat...Lambat doesn't mean dia tak dapat payment langsung. Nak katakan orang tak berduit, company sampai dua and lakinya kerja pilot Piah oi..Eiiii! Geram tau orang camni!

2. Ni pulak cite orang buat biskut...kawan kepada tukang buat biskut (TBB) beli sebalang. Lepas tu mintak recipe...katanya sedap. TBB yg tak lokek ni pun kongsilah recipe...Lepas tu, kawan TBB boleh confess pulak yg sebalang biskut tu dia passed off as hers and pi gunakan sebagai sample utk tarik pelanggan. So with the recipe, she will start to generate her 'kilang' biskut pulak. Serious takdak conscience langsung! Gini punya orang pun ada.

3. Once upon a time, i buat part time kat company kawan i ni. Since i work on children, i mesti akan ada token, gifts etc. utk menarik minat bebudak. So i suggested to my friend ni to keep some at her company for the kids. Since i kerja kat tempat dia, dialah patut sediakan, tak? Jadi i bagilah dia this acuan (cam acuan jelly le gitu) for her to make figurines. Bukan dia buat pun, assistant ada. When i mean token, really token..kita tak charge. Kalau charge, itu maknanya business kan? So, you know what this friend did? Dia generate figurines, put them on display and bila budak2 nak, mak pak kena keluar duit. Terkedu i. Dahla i pinjamkan acuan tu solely for the purpose of making 'tokens', bukannya suh meniaga pulak. Really defeats the purpose. This thing happened many years ago, and it still leaves this bad taste in my mouth. Sungguh i tak tahan dengan orang yg terlampau business minded ni.

OK tata...nak pi lunch..dengan Esah..sushi..jangan marah Piah!

A - Z beruang

I'm tired. So, kita cakap pendek2 je lah sentences..maybe it won't make sense..tak delah tenaga nak karang pantun 45 ribu kerat cam MP..kemain lagi!

Banyak nak cerita..but later, maybe. BomBom hilang gitu sahaja. Thanks to N82, Ummisara and Hernie, for your concern. Masih terasa kehilangannya but as they say, life must go on. The same week i lost BB, orang ittew hilang his office laptop. He's upset..some work hilang cam tu je (dropbox people, dropbox!). Saya hilang 'anak'..benda hidup. But then, you can't expect ikan tuna to jadi sotong..the most it can become is probably kerang..dok diam2 and sengih when the occasion calls for it. 

Untuk sesapa kat luar sana...yang berchenta dengan someone that doesn't deserve you...no, i'm not talking about you here, not yet anyway.

Kalau orang keliling kelalang dah dok kutuk2 partner awak tu, take heed..kitaorg kutuk bukan saja suka2..kitaorg nampak tapi mata awak je yg tak nampak kerana masih dalam fasa kentut pun wangi. This is about these two people i care about so much..ok la, kalau masuk awak, three lah.

#1 This guy digoda oleh pompuan gedik. Dia cakap dia nak kat minah ni tapi minah ni kononnya 'im like a bird...'. Nak keluar2 suka2 je..mintak di hantar ke sana sini..ikut ke sana sini...apa je minah tu jual, laki akan beli berdozen2 pastu simpan belian bawah katil buat perkasam. Cinta punya pasal. Minah suka tangkap gambar sama2 meliuk lentuk macam gamat yg takde tulang belakang tu. Tapi bila laki ajak kawin, eh, kita kawan je! Pastu enter a second minah. Seriyes minat gila kat laki ni..dari tomboy berubah jadi model 'dewi remaja' pasal dia ingat gitulah wanita yg diminati oleh laki tu. Tapi ada tulang belakang..bukan cam si gamat tadi. Laki pun rasa boleh suka kat dia. But bila gamat dapat tau, gamat mula beraksi semula...dari gamat terus jadi 'barnacle' (siput yg lekat kat tiang dlm laut or bawah kapal tu). So laki confuselah kononnya...laki..laki...orang keliling kelalang cukup menyampah dgn minah barnacle ni but what to do..kerna chenta..

#2 Ni minah pulak. Minat kat jantan yg sayang diri lebih dari sayang awak. Minah is sotong, jantan is...serupa ikan tuna jugak. Bila minah berhias lawa2, buat surprise bday party semua utk jantan, si jantan kutuk minah kenapa mekap cam ladygaga and buang duit je buatkan party. Oh ye, kalau saya belanja, kita makan kedai mamak je ye..saya nak kena kumpul duit utk jadi kaya sebelum saya 30 tahun. Bila minah belanja, boleh pulak mintak honeycomb candy crush cappucino tah hapa benda. Minah kena hantar saya ke sini sana...pasal pak awak kaya..saya pulak nak jimat minyak pasal kena simpan duit utk bla bla bla...then putus start putus start..the last time putus panggil minah nama macam2..jantan ungkapkan yg dia harapkan hidup minah akan sengsara tanpanya..sial ke tak? Then i heard dah on balik....habis belajar next year nak terus kawin...hantaran tak yah mahal2 yye..5 ribu cukup..lagipun saya nak simpan duit bla..bla..bla..(btw, minah akan dapat rumah sebijik and bank account with 200k in it). Uols tak rasa jantan tu opportunist ke? I rasa cam nak bagi makna nasik tangas kat....minah tu! Tak tau skru mana yg nak kena ketatkan lagi. Kalau jadi depa kawin...menyampah i tengok jantan tu...and i will cut my little finger kalau depa hidup bahagia because i'm very confident that they won't. For a start..she's a sotong and he's ikan tuna kat pasar jepun sinun..yg sejuk beku tu..

Ok la..kena mention jugak case #3 utk pelengkap cerita. Partner serope.....Mr Hyde...tapi takde masa pulak yg dia boleh bertukar jadi Dr. Jekyl. Orang kurang cakap bad things pasal dia depan awak pasal kita sayangkan awak. Lagipun awak kata awak accept dia seadanya...tu cakap bongok for i'm not happy but i want to be with her so i shall stop whining and 'accept'. At the same time perangai partner ada serope bapak beruang..buatttt je ikut suka hati dia. So she wanted out. Once upon a time, ada kawan i ni ditinggalkan dek laki masa anak dlm perut..gitu sahaja tanpa apa2 explanation. Sampai la ni dia tak kawin sesapa and si jantan pun sama. Ex hubby nak balik kat dia but her family said, if you go back to him, that's it!  Putus sedara. Tudia! Laki mesti perangai cam bapak of all beruangs. The gist of the story is...for case #3, if you ever2 go back to your beruang, that's it putus sedara kita..tu dia, bukan saya suka nak mengugut awak, tapi i've been with you all this while and i've seen how she picked you up and discard you ikut suka kepala lutut dia.  Tell me  satu benda walau sebesar atom pun yg dia buat utk awak...when you were in town, idak le pulak dia mengurangkan beban kerjanya and berusaha bawak awak pi makan2, stock barang makanan kat rumah, kemas rumah bagi rumah serhope orang sikit or  kem chickadees yg awak suka pada awak..tak pernah kan? Yg saya tau, awak akan suh kengkawan ketat awak tunaikan hajat awak ...setau saya awak tak pernah suh dia...partner apakah itu? Bila dia tau awak balik, suh awak belikan makanan utk dia lagi ada, kan? Dia tak berusaha ambik awak kat airport atau hantar awak balik....dah dah la tu buat alasan utk dirinya atau katakan yg awak tak suka 'goodbyes'. Kalau awak boipren saya, i would want you to be the first face i see in the morning and the last at night..apa susah nak adjust masa buat facetime kan? Ye..tak susah kerana saya chenta..But when you were around, awak di bawah telunjuk dia. Walaupun dia berpeleseran cam ayam jantan sampai ke dinihari, dia tetap mahu awak berada di rumah cam patung chendana. By hook or by crook awak yg takde kenderaan terpaksa juga usahakan balik ke rumah. Itu bukan sayang...itu serhope orang jaga barangan saja tu..

Jadi utk case #3 i'm harsh because i care. OK, let's berdoa dia patah dua2 kakinya..see..awak kawan saya. Saya akan turutkan apa yg awak nak..kecuali...kalau awak balik pada dia, saya akan ketuk2 awak, lepas tu saya akan tinggalkan awak biaq pi je..