I’m tired and feeling lazy. It’s been a long week but I have what one would call ‘Friday obligation’ i.e. to make an entry (however nonsensical or pelik the ebtry might be) or risk incurring kata2 nista dan cela sorang ni.
Anyway, it’s gonna be a quick one because I vow to leave this place by 4pm. If not dok la aku kat sini kang sampai time dekat2 hantu berkeliaran.
1. My bro’s pertunangan went OK instead of him bringing a cake yg masih dlm secret recipe punya box and masih terlekat lagi pisau plastiknya pun. This is what happens when we leave it to a man (excluding my Mr Gig yg arty farty of course) to deal with benda2 pompuan ni. Not entirely our fault because dia yg cakap, dia dah order cake and this was like a month ago. I’m sure the brownie cake tasted heavenly but presentation is important..just imagine plain choc fudge icing without any decoration whatsoever. Kadawale kadawale! Seperti yg biasa berlaku, time2 kahwin ni la org2 yg pernah terkilan or wanting to relive her weeding moments akan volunteer nak in charge anything to do with the wedding..so I sort of offered (or demanded more like it) to be in charge of his gubahan hantaran. Not that I’m arty farty but ada duit semua boleh jadi ma! If only he’d tell me how many dulang he plans to have, what they consist of and apa warna tema…nanti kang last minute baru nak cakap. Oh yes, forgot to add, my dad came to the engagement eventually. He sold off two goats, footed the bill and now plan to hold a wedding reception back home (selain dpd yg my bro plan kat KL).
2. My future sis-in-law’s engagement ring was diamond (tak nampak lak berapa bijik batunya) & platinum and cost 3X more than mine..hehe..tak puashati i! Started to merengek balik kat MG tagih my kononnya 5th wedding anniversary punya diamond and ruby ring. But he came up with excuse entah apatah why I didn’t get it last year…tak ingat pun apa sebabnya. Apa2 pun 6th wedding anniversary is just next month…so…
3. I still haven’t told ustazah munah my best friend about this new baby coming…and I haven’t spoken to her since October. Somehow I feel that she knows….
4. Just to clear things pada sesapa yg ingat I kena kawin paksa dgn Mr Gig. I pretended macam I kena paksa tapi sebenarnya I syok gak kat dia. I actually spinned my web around him from the first time I saw him. Ceritanya begini….his mum and my cousin were teachers from the same school. My cousin has been trying to marry me off from A-Levels lagi. Termasuk MG, in total she introduced me to 3 guys. I have always been interested in other people termasuklah Encik Sri Siamang sebab tu la yg lain2 tu tak menjadi. MG pulak was over 30 and his mum must have been worried tengok anaknya kononnya macam tak bergofren padahal dia tak tau yang jantan tu pernah ada sejarah berdating dgn ex-schoolmate I from home yg also happened to be berbau2 petai ngan I and jatuh hati dgn my cousin yg masa tu telah berpunya you all! Main lagi scandalnya! Nasib baik I got to know all this after kahwin..kalau take eeiii..tak sanggup you!!! Habis semua kaum kerabat I dia usha dulu!
Anyway, my cousin pun bagi la email add I kat mak MG utk disampaikan kat anak terunanya (ye ke??)…tapi katanya email dia asyik kena reject…pas tu my sis sampaikan pesan my cousin mintak my add pulak pasal mamat tu komplen pasal email tak jln. Selang 2,3 purnama dapat la postcard (masa tu I tgh buat Masters)…masa tu I dok pikir, sapakah mamat 30an tahun yg desperate ni..But what the heck, I pun takde hobi nak mengisi masa lapang masa tu, so balasla balik dlm bentuk email. Yg lecehnya mamat ni tulis sebulan sekali or paling rajin pun 2 minggu sekali..dia kata sibuk tapi rasa2nya dia sibuk mengusha sedara mara aku le tu! Anyway, no harm because aku pun mengusha org lain kan..?
Setelah beberapa bulan (can’t remember exactly), I pun balik la utk summer holiday dan bertempeklah I kat rumah Ustazah Munah tu kat KL. I thought OK la, meh kita jumpa this guy. And tepon la dia utk ajak dating…the thing was, masa org dah sibuk2 berhandphone keliling pinggang, dianya takde hp. Kena phone rumah dia, pas tu dia tension bila the mum and sis pasang telinga (kalau I pun akan pasang telinga arnab lagi). So, dia kata takpe, call me at the office trow (sanggup dtg office hari Sabtu tu pasal nak kan privacy..apa kata beli je hp kan???) to finalise the place, etc. So esoknya I call and we decided to meet up at KLCC, tunggu kat depan B0dyshop. Pas tu dia letak phone. I had to ring him up again to ask, helo!!! What are you wearing, how can I recognize you?? (ish ish ‘green’ betul laki aku dulu atau pora2??). So he said he was in blue jeans and black top. Tengah dub dab dub dab menuggu tu I got confused..or was it black jeans and blue top…? Pas tu nampak some guy fitting that description, tambah ngan perut gendut and bermisai lagi..ye la..i masa tu masih twenty something lagi, so kalu yg over 30 ni I mesti kaitkan dgn perut gendut and misai melenting (no offence to anyone!!). Why haven’t I asked for his picture before? Entahlah, sama dgn case org minyak dulu pun I tak mintak gambar..probably because I would rather like the person for his mind (or wits) and not by the way he looks. (Damn, which reminds me cite org minyak tu tak habis lagi). After 10 mins, datang la this guy yg tersengih2 kat I and terus cakap, jap ye, I nak pi toilet. What? No introduction nothing..kut2 tersilap org ke…but since I thought he was cute, I stayed on la…kalu gendut bermisai cam MGR tu, I would have done a runner while he was in the toilet! Kan MG ni jenis lelaki pemalu (ataupun tangan nak bergarpu ke??..ish tak nah terfikir lak masa tu) so, he suggested that we went for a movie, so tak yah cakap2. After the movie baru makan. Then masa nak balik tu I was going to my car and I vowed dlm hati I am not going to ask for a 2nd date, kalu dia nak, seniri tanya. Nasib baik dia tanya and esoknya we went out again and kali ni gi i Subang Par@de. MG didn’t talk much (and he still doesn’t)..habis dah cerita..tak tau apa nak bagitau lagi sampai masuk bab2 kambing bapak I yg namanya Benny yg suka minum susu botol, kucing I Chot yg makan kena bersuap…ish!
To cut it short, I went back to UK again in Sept..we all tulis2 email lagi although he made a lousy email friend. Kucing sempat beranak sementara menunggu replynya. Then April the following year I came back to Msia again during a two week break. We met up twice kut, satu tu he came all the way to my parents’ house dgn 2 org bodyguardnya (yg bukak cite pasal kerang berbulu?? Apa ke mendanya??). I really spinned my web then, sampai siap baca2 jampi (legal punya la) lagi hehe..When I got back to the UK, ada sekali tu dapat email jiwang dari MG (as jiwang as he knew how to be)..but did it increase the frequency of his email??? Tak langsung! I tell you..nasib baik I ni pompuan yg sabar dan tabah (dan desperate???). Then I came back to Msia in Oct, I’ve finished my Masters, tunggu nak sit for my specialist exam je…I also had a job offer that was so lucrative..tapi kerana jantan blur sorang tu, I balik la gak. TAPI!! Even though dah mula tulis email feeling2 kat I, bila I balik tu tak la pulak feelingnya! Masih blur camtu. So I gave myself 2 months..sampai Dec..kalu takde apa2, memang I blah balik ke UK.
But of course when all this was happening, I macho je ngan my parents. I buat2 cam I tak suka kat MG. Bukannya apa, I taknak keriau2 because to them sapa pinang je I masa tu, dia akan kahwinkan. Mana le tau tiba2 I tak berkenan kat MG? Honestly speaking all I knew about him then was that he was 32, anak nombor 2, adik beradik 3 org and kerja so and so. Other than that, zilch! Then Nov came and this guy cam tu gak. Kita org keluar dating, I cakap pasal kambing2 and kucing2 I and dia sengih..that’s all! (but sib baik dia dah ada hp masa tu). Then December came and I was getting restless and frustrated…bila la mamat ni nak ‘declare’??? I pun book la flight through the internet nak balik UK, so I told him…muka dia seposen je you! Cis! That was it! Pas tu he said, eh, tak dapat ke bday card yg I hatar you? Camna nak dapat oi, kalau you tak postkan??? (ni macam trick basi je ni). So, dia kata ok, tunggu card. Ghope2nya dia confess kat dlm card tu…I tergelak besar..nyaris guling2 atas lantai lagi. Selang 2 minggu pas tu on Boxing Day I think, his parents dtg merisik and on Feb 16th we all kawin. No tuning nothing you all! Koboi sangat kan?? My parents taknak tunggu lama2 pasal takut I changed my mind. I pun takut tunggu lama2 in case I changed my mind also. If I were to do that harus my parents disown me because diaorg termakan dgn muka MG yg innocent itu. I could have gotten married to anyone off the street because even on the big day, all I knew about him was that lah..umur dia, etc. Oh yeah, and that he knew what alpha-hydroxy acid was..
That was history..and after 3 anak bulu, 1.5 anak togel later, MG still sengih more than he talks.
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