Why the TSA is So Terrible

It's always been terrible.  Now it's just more terrible.  Abolish the entire thing and hire private security measures.  

Another TSA Christmas

This is from last year, but it's still as hilarious as ever.  My homeward journey this year was a complete mess, and my hatred of the useless, annoying TSA remains unabated.

TSA = Terrible Shenanigans Again

As everyone travels to spend Christmas with family and friends, here are two giggles to help you on your way if you're flying:

~TSA = Taking Sense Away according to this blog by a former TSA screener

~Remy is back with another holiday TSA video (recall his hilarious 2011 offering?):

Quote of the Day: Surveillance Society

Absolutely:

It’s anyone’s guess how we are supposed to stop terrorism by focusing so much of our energies on monitoring the activities of people who will never be terrorists.

Not unrelated: the execrable (and useless) TSA, along with everything we've ever said about the encroaching, intrusive, snooping government playing fast and loose with civil liberties and every rant ever about how we are citizens, not subjects.

Headline Involves "TSA"

Oh, yeah.  I'm sure this will turn out just freakin' awesome.  

A Study in Contrasts: Security Issues

The "TSA is an Expensive, Epic Fail" Infographic

I've ranted before repeatedly about the ludicrous and useless "security theater" that's making travel utterly miserable, but it's even worse than you think it is:

Rhode Island Bakery Creates TSA-Compliant Cupcake

In response to this idiocy, one enterprising bakery has created a TSA-compliant cupcake!  Check out the Silver Spoon Bakery's cheeky advertising image.

TSA Doubles Down on Cupcake Confiscation

Remember this bit of idiocy?  Well, the TSA is defending its actions.  You should click on the link if only to see the snarky PhotoShopped accompanying  image.

Satire Alert: Grandma Got Indefinitely Detained (A Very TSA Christmas)

Here's another gem from Remy:

The Search and Seizure of ... Cupcakes

Controlled substance.

In case you needed another reason to hate the TSA: Officious, inconvenient, useless petty tyrants are now confiscating your cupcakes.  No, really!  Of course, perhaps the guy just wanted a yummy red velvet cupcake-in-a-jar.  Dude, you could've friggin' asked. 

 I've ranted endlessly about the TSA and security theater.  I'm sure this ludicrous war on desserts is really going to protect us from terrorists.  Don't touch my junk?  DON'T TOUCH MY GORRAM CUPCAKES.  Where's my Fourth Amendment?!

Oh, wait!  Maybe this is the unholy marriage of TSA overreach with Michelle Obama's annoying preaching that we should all eat healthier things.  It's now the Food Police.  GEORGE ORWELL, CALL YOUR OFFICE.  

TED Talk: Bruce Schneier on Security Issues

Friday Fun Video: the TSA Pokey Pokey

A Foreign Correspondent Considers the TSA

Check out this piece by Richard Engel of NBC.  To his credit, he filed a complaint.  More thoughts here.  For goodness sake, stop the ever-growing useless TSA security theater antics.  You of course remember this and this.

I add this bit from Engel's essay, which leaped out at me since I know academia all too well:

I was in the subway in New York a few days before traveling to Los Angeles. I grew up in New York. I always read the advertisements on the subways – there's not much else to look at. Generally, they're for acne treatment or public service announcements. 

This time, one of the advertisements caught my eye. It was for quick, inexpensive associate degrees. One of the majors advertised was in accounting, which has long been popular. There always seems to be a need for accountants. The other major was in "homeland security." Standing there, looking up at the ad as I jostled in the subway car, I realized what a growth industry security has become in the United States. 

Uh oh.  And that means that it's going to be rapidly more interested in self-perpetuation than actual effectiveness.

Quote of the Day: "foolishly exchanging an essential liberty for an illusion of security"

Physician Paul Hsieh has some related comments on both pharmaceuticals and the TSA.  As Malcolm Reynolds did say bitterly, "That's what government's for -- to get in a man's way."

Awesomeness: The Best Comment Thread Ever

Via Transterrestrial Musings comes this link. Oh, the actual blog post doesn't even matter. What you want is the comment thread on it. The first commenter left this statement:

As much as I hate the recent developments in airport “security”, I feel sorry for most TSA personel. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his dog now hates their a**. 

Aside from a couple of perverts (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job. 

…and seriously, where are you going to go if the TSA fires you!?

In response to this silliness, other commenters left gems like these:

As much as I hate the recent developments on Alderran, I feel sorry for all those stormtroopers. They didn’t ask for any of this and they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and wookie now hates their a**. 

Aside from a few real sith lords (who are to be found pretty much everywhere) most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire Empire against their choosing, or being frozen in carbonite. 

And seriously, were are you going to go if you get choked to death on the bridge of a star destroyer?
***
As much as I hate the recent developments in Mordor, I feel sorry for most Orcs. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man (and dwarf, elf, and hobbit) and his dog now hates their a**. 

Aside from a few Uruk-hai (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire hoarde against their choosing or being eaten by their comrades. 

And seriously, where are you going to go if Sauron loses the War of the Ring?
***
As much as I hate recent developments in the time-space continuum, I feel sorry for most Daleks. They didn’t ask for any of this. They probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Time Lord and his K-9 hates their a**. 

Aside from a couple of Skaro cultists, most of these guys get to choose between “Exterminate! Exterminate!,” or losing their jobs to Cybermen. 

And seriously, where are you going to go if The Doctor shows up in his TARDIS?
***
As much as I hate the recent developments at Initech, I feel sorry for Lumburgh. He didn’t ask for any of this. He probably realizes how pointless his work is, and how Michael, Samir, and Peter now hate his a**. 

Aside from efficiency experts and consultants who love to fire people (and are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of the people at Initech get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or being downsized. 

And seriously, where are you going to work after Initech? Flingers?

The entire comment thread is full of comedy gold.  It's delightfully smart comedy gold too for the most part, with references ranging all over pop culture and history and literature and current events to include, among other things, the Battle of Rorke's Drift, Château d’If, Beowulf, and the emperor Nero.  My absolute favorite two, though, are after the fold.

The Art of the Venn Diagram

This is the most fun you'll have with Venn diagrams all day, I promise.  Bonus: poking fun at the TSA.

Satire Alert: Emily Post Meets the TSA

From the ever-delightful humor blog Dr. Boli's Celebrated Magazine:

Latest TSA Public Relations Win

This is descending into farce.  So apparently the TSA is going after pilots and passengers and everybody except terrorists.  The pilot, 50-year-old Chris Liu, is pushing back.  Good on him.

Dear TSA, Read my T-Shirt. KTHXBAI!

Check out this bit of "protest art" -- or, more specifically, "protest wear" designed to open more dialogue.  What do you think?  Here's the official website.  I rather like the idea!  This is how one of the metallic-printed shirts appears inside one of the TSA's new scanner machines.  Hello, Fourth Amendment!  And you're exercising your First Amendment too -- even as you don't have to say a word.  

You read my T-shirt.  That's enough social interaction for one day.

RELATED POST:  Creative protest art in the modern age of ever-increasing governmental and bureaucratic lunacy is a gorgeous thing.  Every joke is a tiny revolution, after all!  Remember this splendid example of Aktionskunst from Germany?