Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? I am.

“George, who is out somewhere there in the dark, who is good to me - whom I revile, who can keep learning the games we play as quickly as I can change them. Who can make me happy and I do not wish to be happy. And yes, I do wish to be happy. George and Martha: Sad, sad, sad. Whom I will not forgive for having come to rest; for having seen me and having said: “Yes, this will do”. Who has made the hideous, the hurting, the insulting mistake of loving… me, and must be punished for it. George and Martha… Sad, sad, sad.” ― Edward Albee, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

My plans for getting a theatre job out here are in motion.  Week 1 - drop off my resumes at every theatre. Week 2 - Begin making appointments to shadow the Stage Managers.  Week 3 - Start Shadowing.

My first show to shadow was Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.  This is probably the best way it could have worked out.  It is a very low key show with no set changes and not a lot going on backstage.  So I was able to walk through all of their pre show while they explained to me what was going on.  I think it also helped that the Stage Manager is based in Chicago and just came out to Broadway for this one show.  So he was able to point out the differences between LORT theatres (where I've been working for years) and Broadway.

The show was also amazing.  It's the longest I've ever been to.  There are 3 acts and 2 intermissions (do you still call it intermission if there are 2?).  I'd never read it before so I was pretty enthralled the whole time, even with listening to the stage manager calling the lights and only watching it from the wings/on the monitor.  Those actors put so much into that show, I can't imagine how they feel at the end of a two show day.

In the coming week I've got appointments to shadow at Jersey Boys, Rock of Ages, Mary Poppins, and Lion King.  The goal is that I'll learn some things, make an impression, and be remembered if any jobs pop up in the coming weeks.

I guess this is what chasing dreams feels like.  Jealous?

“I said I was impressed, Martha. I'm beside myself with jealousy. What do you want me to do, throw up?” ― Edward Albee, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

someday i'll be living in a big old city.....

Well.  I made it.

Hurricane Sandy delayed me for a week, but that meant I got to spend some more time with my family and friends.  I also discovered that I REALLY wasn't ready to leave on Monday.

But by Friday I was ready.

Hurricane Sandy made everything a lot more complicated, but I was able to fly into New York and get a shuttle to my apartment.  It took a little longer than it usual, but at least I didn't land to disappointing news like all of the people on my flight who were coming in to run the marathon.  They announced it was cancelled while we were flying.  I felt so bad for them.

Tali and I were supposed to spend a whole week together.  Instead, she weathered a hurricane while I stayed home with babies.  We had one magical night in the city together before she flew home to Cleveland and I tried not to panic. 

I took this picture just after Tali got in a taxi to the airport.  Suddenly I was alone in the city.  I live here now.  It was a weird feeling because I wasn't scared, but it also didn't seem real.  I walked around for a while taking pictures, then went back to my apartment to unpack.

The rest of the week has been pretty busy with job hunting.  It takes like a million years to get anywhere or do anything in this city.  I'm sure I'll get better at it and it'll be easier when all the trains are running (hurricane sandy did a number on the transportation out here), but at this point in time I feel like even the simplest of errand turns in to at least a 2 hour escapade.  

There have been a few times when I've caught myself thinking, "Remember this Lizzie.  This will be a good detail to include when you are old and tell stories about your first weeks living in this city."

For instance.  I was interviewing for a job at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  It is just two days of work, but I thought it would be A - nice to have money, and B - a cool way to spend my first Thanksgiving in the city.  When "telling about myself" during the interview I explained that I was brand new to the city.  As in, three days.  The man interviewing me was very surprised and asked what my plan was.  I told him that I'm just looking for work to do until I find a way in to the theatre scene.  He was like, "but this is only two days."  I know.  That doesn't mean I don't want it.  The next thing I know, Maurice is calling in some other guy to see if he can get me a job in another department because it'll last at least until Christmas.  "Listen.  I'm a father.  If my daughter moved to New York City without a job, I would be like "SOMEBODY HELP MY KID!"

Unfortunately the job through December didn't really pan out, but I will be able to work on the parade, which I think will be a cool experience.  That moment in his office taught me a lesson though.  This city isn't only full of mean crazy stressed out people.  There are also people that want to help out, even when you aren't necessarily asking for it.

I've been fortunate to have many interviews and job connections this week.  So far none of them have much to do with theatre, but I'm still gonna need to get money somehow!  I've spent a good portion of every day calling, emailing, or interviewing for positions.  Last night I put together packets to drop off at theatres.  I can't believe that would work, but people get jobs that way so I've got to at least try.

I live in Inwood, which is at the very top of Manhattan.  Every single store I go into I am greeted in Spanish.  Sometimes I try to play it off like I know Spanish and totally belong here, but they often ask me questions so I just have to respond in English.

I went and saw this show for free.  The Union sent out a message on facebook saying we could go to the matinee for free.  That's what happens when there isn't a large crowd and they have to fill the seats. It hasn't opened yet and I think this was one of the very early previews.  I could definitely see moments when some of the characters were not very comfortable with their lines or some of the actions.  Still, I saw a Broadway play for free sitting on the fourth row.  

The play was about someone trying to get out of the capitalistic society in New York City and back to the comfort and kindness of Ohio.

Are you kidding me?

leaping into the unknown

I've been getting the question for years, and I've been trying to put it off for the same amount of time. I work in theatre. New York City is the theatre hub.  So I guess it's time for me to take a risk.

Pretty soon I'll be living here:

There are more jobs here than anywhere else, so it makes sense.  But the only time I've ever moved somewhere without having a job lined up was when I moved to St. George as a Freshman in college.  I've been playing it safe for a long time.

So I'll be paying thousands of dollars for a closet, walking everywhere, and "living the dream".  I will also be purchasing a small journal which I hope to get filled with entries from all my visitors.

Wish me luck!

The week I've had.

One week ago tonight we opened The Sound of Music. It was a busy and stressful rehearsal process because it's summer theatre so everything needs to happen in a short amount of time.  Only twice during rehearsal was I angry enough to cry or want to quit, which I guess isn't too bad.  In general, everything went pretty smoothly.  Then we opened the show.

This show has:
38 Actors (including 11 college freshman for whom this is their first big show, and 6 children ages 6-14).
10 band members
7 Costumers
2 Sound guys
1 Light board operator
2 spotlight operators
3 Assistant Stage Managers
2 Stage Management Interns
2 Child Wranglers
2 Run Crew
and me.

Also, it's summer theatre.  So we all live together.

I've had two people faint, and one person call out from the show because of a gall bladder surgery.  We've had to have last minute rehearsals to prepare backstage crew to be thrown into the mix or remind the kids of what they are actually supposed to be doing onstage.  There are lights breaking during performances or skunks spraying in the trees right behind us.  One kid has a lot of energy and talks a lot, so at least 4 people complain to me about him every single day.  I've taken to having a pep talk with him before every show to remind him to stand still and not be loud so that he doesn't get murdered backstage.  Then there are the people that I have to yell at because they do stupid things without realizing it, like unplugging the only light we have backstage in order to charge their ipod.  People are getting hurt, costumes are breaking or accidentally getting dyed pink in the washer, and today one actor got so mad he punched a cabinet  then riled up the rest of his buddies.

And just when I start feeling pretty good about myself for handling all these things in stride, I'll get an email from someone critiquing or questioning my decisions.  This is usually a pretty thankless job, but this week it feels even more so.

The good news?  98% of this stuff is completely unseen by the audience.  And I had a few actors comment today that this show is going so smoothly and there are just no issues on and off stage.  So, they don't know it's happening either.

One week down.  One week to go.

How do you say goodbye?

When Mom died and it was Dad with 4 little girls, Granny didn't hesitate to step up.  Then for so long, it was the six of us.  We were all making it up as we went along, and we were all reliant on each other.
(See what my sisters said about Gran here: Katie, Amanda, and AJ)

Granny is so much a part of every childhood memory that I have.  She was always the first car waiting outside the school.  She would be so patient as she waited for us to climb in, but then she'd go crazy trying to get out of the parking lot around all of the other waiting cars.  I don't know if I'll ever meet another person as reliable as Granny.  If she said she was going to be somewhere, she'd be there early.


One of my favorite memories with Gran is when my Young Women's class had a Mother-Daughter date.  It's the only time I've ever been to one of those things, and I went with Granny.  At one point in the evening we played a game testing how well the mother/daughter teams knew each other.  Me and Granny won.  I remember being so proud that night.  She knew everything about me.  She kept my secrets.

For years the signature on my library card was my name written by Gran, because she got us cards before we knew how to read.  She also gave us bags to put books in.  We would go to the library and go crazy with all the books we picked out.  I learned to love reading from those trips.  She never forced or pushed, it was just something we all did together.

When I was on my mission in Vanuatu, Gran wrote to me every single week.  The Elders never delivered mail without giving me something from Gran.  I even got 2 cards from her the day before I flew home.  Every time she would also include an empty card and envelope, so I could just write back immediately.  To some that might sound pushy, but it was just being helpful.  If she could do anything that would make it easier for us, it was done.


The past 5 years of my life have been pretty crazy with moving all over the country.  Every time I called Gran, she knew what the weather was like where I was.  My apartment is full of things she gave me to make the places I went to feel like home.  Refrigerator magnets, blankets, and pens and stationary to write to her.  The first time I moved to Ohio I called to tell her I'd arrived safely and moved in.  I said I'd gone grocery shopping so I should be ok and she said, "as long as you have cereal and milk".  According to her, if I have cereal and milk I can settle in and not feel homesick.  She was so smart.

I was never tempted to lie to Gran.  Most of the time when someone asks how I'm doing, I'll say "fine" or "good" without even thinking, but Gran always got the honest answer.  She could tell by my voice whether I was happy or not, and would always remind me how much she is thinking about me.  I'd be living by myself in a big city and feeling incredibly lonely, but I knew that Granny was thinking about me.

I called her a few days before the stroke.  She picked up after 1.5 rings, as usual.  "Oh hi honey!"  I told her about how things were going with my new job, apartment, and roommate.  She had no idea what I do for a living, but she always listened and was encouraging and supportive.  She said, "you sound happy, I'm glad you like it there."

My stomach dropped when Dad told me she'd had a stroke.  I talked to her on the phone one last time and told her I love her and I'm thinking about her.  She told me she loved me and that she's thinking of me too.  "I love you, goodbye".

Sometimes when she sent cards, she also sent pages of quotes she'd collected.  I found one today, and one of the quotes was: "Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it's letting go."

We all made it up together.  We all needed each other to get through the day to day.  I tried to prepare myself for this, but I wasn't ready.

Granny, I'm sure you already know this, but I'm not doing so well right now.  I don't know what the weather will be like here tomorrow, and I don't know who to tell my secrets to.