Housebound (2014)

Today's film is Housebound.  It comes all the way from New Zealand.  This is one of those movies that I can watch over and over and still be entertained.  It is great!

One of the best aspects about this film is that is seamlessly mixes horror and comedy.  Are there ghosts in the house?  Or is it something even worse?  Our main character is trapped in the house due to being on house arrest.  She may be going stir crazy from being trapped in there, but she is definitely not alone in the house.

There are also many plot twists in this film.  Some you will never see coming!   Even after you watch the film the first time, and you know all the twists, the movie is still fun to watch.  As a horror movie, there are many scary elements, but as a comedy movie, we know it will have a good ending.  I highly recommend watching this film.  I will give it a 9/10.

Safe (1995)

Today's film is Safe.  It's about a wife who is sick and tired of being sick and tired.  And I can relate that.  I haven't watched any films in over a month because I am expecting a baby!  The fatigue and nausea makes it hard to stay up and focus on anything, especially long movies.  We don't know if it is a boy or girl yet, but we will find out in a few weeks.

Carol the housewife is easy to relate to because there's nothing unique about her.  She's a generic housewife with a great house and a great husband.  She develops a mysterious illness out of nowhere.  Is it depression?  Is it allergies? What could it be?

Carol later finds out that the chemicals of modern living are what is making her sick, so she goes to a retreat out in the country to find healing.  Personally I think her symptoms are psychosomatic, and maybe a few weeks in the fresh air will do her good.  We last see her looking in the mirror saying "I love you".  That is the first step to feeling better.  She may need treatment for anxiety as well.  It may take her a while to get better, but health is always a journey.  I like how it doesn't present her illness as some weird science fiction disease, but leaves it open to interpretation.  I will give this film a 9/10.

Hanyo (The Housemaid) (1960)

Today’s film is Hanyo, The Housemaid.  It is a very interesting example of early Korean horror as well as a moralistic lesson.

The film opens and closes with a husband and wife discussing a newspaper article about an affair between a married man and the family housemaid.  The film is an imagining of such an event and how it can destroy the entire family.

The husband, Mr. Kim, works as a piano teacher in a factory full of young female workers.  Since he is one of the few males they ever see, several of them are going to like him.  It’s just nature.  A worker makes her friend pen him a love letter, but she gets suspended and later kills herself in shame.  In response, the worker goes to his house to take piano lessons, but she has a plan.

Mr and Mrs. Kim both want a housekeeper.  They just purchased a larger new house and Mrs. Kim is about to give birth soon.  The worker suggests a woman who seems unbalanced and they hire her as their housekeeper.

The whole movie ends up being like Fatal Attraction if the crazy lady lived in their house full time.  The housemaid takes advantage of Mr. Kim and becomes pregnant.  She uses her condition to manipulate him until Mrs. Kim convinces her to abort it by “falling” down the stairs.  In retaliation, she also kills their older son the same way.  It is a common trope in both Korean and Japanese horror for victims to die by falling or being pushed down stairs.  It is interesting to see it exists as early as a film from the 1960’s.

Nobody expects the housemaid to be as  cunning and manipulative as she is.  She becomes convinced she must kill herself and she wants to bring down the husband with her.  Neither Mr nor Mrs. Kim ever call the police for anything she’s done and essentially let her get away with everything.

Then at the end, the husband and wife, who were discussing the news, turn to us and explain that this could happen to anyone.  Yeah we know we literraly just got done watching it.  We don’t really need the school lesson at the end.  I will give this film a 7/10.

Carnival of Souls (1962)

Today's film is Carnival of Souls.  It used local actors and a tiny budget, and has a quaint charm.

It focuses on Mary, who is in a car that is drag racing. The car drives off the bridge and crashes into the water.  The cops drag the water but find nothing.  Later, Mary emerges from the water unharmed with no memory of what happened.  She then moves to to new town and finds work as a church organist. No matter  where she goes, she encounters a creepy man with a white face and black eye area. He appears out of nowhere to her.  She even sees a doctor, who believes these apparitions are a result of survivor's guilt.  Throughout the film, she is time and time again drawn to a mysterious building.

We find that the building was once a carnival, and now houses the souls of drowning victims.  Through this, we can easily predict the ending, that Mary actually did die in the water after the crash.  I think the whole thing was a dream right before she died.  Like she was sort of aware she was dead but not fully.  I remember having to read An Incident at Owl Creek in high school and it focused on this same issue.

Even thought the movie was very predictable and not very well acted, it had a genuine creep factor so I will give it a 5/10.

Pumpkinhead (1988)

Happy Halloween!  Today's film is Pumpkinhead.

Way deep in the country,  there is a place where a freaky alien-looking demon thing will chase after anything you want it to.  Everyone knows about it and is terrified of it.  

A man named Ed Harley lives with his young son (his only child) that he loves very much.  He works at the only grocery store for miles.  One day, a group of teenagers go up to the country to go dirtbiking.  Ed has to leave the store to get something from home, and just leaves his child alone in the store.  I have a five year old and I don't leave her alone for five minutes.  Especially if there's a group of strangers right outside.

So, the boy doesn't stay inside like he was told to, big surprise, and gets hit by one of the dirtbikes.  Not accepting that it was an accident, Ed wants to wreak revenge on the teenagers.  With the help of a country witch, he summons the demon Pumpkinhead to kill them all.

One thing I noticed is that all the country people are dirty.  Their faces are dirty, and it seems that no one owns a washing machine in the area.  My inlaws live out in the country, and they will go from the pecan orchard straight into the house to cook and eat, and they don't once wash their hands.  They are so gross.  Most country people are not like this honestly.  Most farmhouses are impeccably clean, and they are a source of pride for most people.

Ed regrets unleashing the demon, but it is too late to stop him.  He learns the hard way there is only one way to stop the demon.  I found this movie a lot more sadder than I found it scary.  I will give it a 5/10.  

Hausu (1977)

Today’s film is Hausu (House).  It is a very strange film.  It is not
the strangest film I have ever seen.  That would probably be Naked
Lunch.  Also, Mulholland Drive was strange, but it made me angry.
This film did not make me angry.

I have heard many things about this film, but it was near impossible
to find.  But surprise! It randomly appeared on demand for one day
only, so I seized the opportunity and watched it right then.  It was
nothing like I expected, and I have seen plenty of Japanese horror
films.  But, there is so much humor in this film as well.

I believe that Evil Dead II got a lot of its inspiration from this
film.   The gross out humor, body parts, lots of blood, strange magic,
all of this are found in both films.  It starts off as a normal film
where we are expecting horror elements, then goes off on a tangent of
bizarreness.

One of my favorite parts is where the guy doesn’t want any watermelon,
instead he wants bananas, and in the next scene we see he has turned
into bananas!   The girls in the film all go by nicknames.  Melody
loves to play piano, and she gets eaten by one while her fingers
continue to play.   Everyone is going to be killed in strange ways.
There are also elements of magic and witchcraft at play as well.  This
film was unique and very amusing.  I will give it an 8/10.

Candyman (1992)

Today's film is Candyman.  It is based on an urban legend.  I used to have a book of urban legends which I would stay up all night reading because I was too scared to sleep.  If you look in a mirror and say "Candyman" five times he will appear and kill you with his hook hand.  Or, you can summon Bloody Mary or the Bell Witch the same way.  Do urban legend people have nothing better to do than hang out around mirrors?

 Helen is a college student working on her thesis on urban legends. What on earth is she majoring in?  She is most interested in Candyman because he haunts the Cabrini - Green area, and may be responsible for a few deaths there.  She believes the murders were committed by gang members who are using the legend to frighten people.

She finds out the murderers came in through the wall where the medicine cabinet was. I too have a hole in the wall where a medicine cabinet should be.  It was hidden behind a photo frame when I bought the condo.  Helen also discovers that her apartment was supposed to be housing projects.  Which is hilarious because she is standing in the biggest apartment I have ever seen.

All this attenting to him summons the real Candyman,  who sets out to destroy Helen's life.  Candyman actually enjoys his urban legend status and wants her to join him.  He makes it so she doesn't really have an choice in the matter.  I like this movie because it brings ghost stories into more modern times, has no screaming teenagers and little gore, and acknowledges modern urban legends.  All ghost stories don't have to be in Victorian times.  I will give this film a 7/10.

The Changeling (1980)

Today is the first day of Fall!  I am very happy about this.  For the past two months, it's been over 100° every day.  And I have to be outside a lot.  This morning, it actually got down to 84°, but then the sun came up, but there's still hope!

When it gets cold outside (maybe even all the way to 70° people)  I like to stay in and watch horror movies.  So today's film will be The Changeling.  It showcases my most favorite genre which is haunted house horror movies.  Where even the house itself can be considered a character.

It starts off with a man, John Russell (played by George C. Scott) losing his wife and daughter in a car accident.  He moves across the country to start his life anew.  He wants a house to practice his music, and he is offered a chance to rent a historical mansion.  Of course it is haunted!

 I really enjoyed how everyone is rational in this film.  The ghost isn't trying to murder everyone, and Russell and his friends are genuinely concerned with what is happening and do a lot of research. The lady who rented him the mansion, Claire, helps him with the research.  Claire was played by George C. Scott's wife, Trish van Devere.  They found out a child died so they hold a seance.  But what happens surprises everyone!  The child that was hit by a carriage was just a red herring.  The ghost was actually a small boy that we murdered by his own father.  His father found an orphan to replace him so they could get their inheritance money.  This orphan grew up to be the senator.  

After some more research, they find the child's body, or what's left of it. Russell goes to confront the senator.  How is the senator supposed to take this news? That his father, that loved him very much is a murderer?  And that's not really his father?  And that he's not even himself,  just someone else's replacement? 

When I first saw the title, changeling, I thought of fairy lore.  But the reality is more rational.  The senator is the changeling, a replacement for the murdered child.  The ghost shows the senator a vision of his murder,and he collapses.  The ghost also sets the mansion on fire, but lets Russell and Claire escape unharmed.  Now the ghost is free to leave his prison.  This is the best haunted house movie I have ever seen.  Everything was well thought out, and no one did anything extraordinarily stupid like in most horror films. I will give it a 9/10.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

Today's film is The Abominable Dr. Phibes.  I love movies with Vincent Price! He can make any movie entertaining.  He knows exactly when to be funny and when to be creepy or scary.  He is everything  that Tim Burton wishes his movies could be. He tries to be cute and creepy and funny at the same time, and it never works.

 There are so many questions unanswered about this movie.  Why did Dr. Phibes use the legendary Egyptian plagues as inspiration for his murder spree? Who exactly  is the beautiful  Vulnavia? She never speaks, and is always there to assist Dr. Phibes.  What is her relationship with the doctor? Did she know his wife personally?

The weirdest part was that clockwork band. Did Dr. Phibes make that? Was he a real medical doctor? I mean he had to be to know how to do blood transfusions.  He also had a degree in art, a PhD in theology, and he was a concert pianist.  Why did it take him four years before he killed anyone, and how did he keep his wife so perfectly preserved?

I like to think of this movie as an early predecessor to Se7en.  Because that guy uses the seven deadly sins to murder people, whereas Dr. Phibes uses the plagues.  However, two of the plagues were replaced with rats and bats for visual reasons. You have to give him credit for being super creative though.

And not only that, he wins.  He always stays two steps ahead of the police, and succeeds in almost everything he sets out to do. I will give this film a 7/10.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

We've been on vacation for a few days to celebrate my daughter Azalea's 5th birthday.  Before we left, we all watched A Nightmare on Elm Street together as a family.  Unfortunately this coincides with the passing on Wes Craven, so we dedicate this review to him.

 So, the plot is really simple. Teenagers fall asleep and Freddy Krueger kills them in their dreams.  As I saw in the realistic documentary The Matrix, if you die in your dram, you die in real life.  My theory about this film is about this film only and does not apply to any sequels, however many there are.

I had a hard time gleaning any information  about Freddy Krueger  from this film.  The explanation from Nancy's mom seemed really quick.  If Freddy kills children, why did he wait until everyone was in high school?

 Here is my theory.  The entire film is Nancy's  dream.  The scenes of reality or dreams are simply various levels of consciousness, including  lucid dreaming near the end.  It's really obvious  when she goes to visit  her friend in jail.  Why else would she be able to see his date at the hands of Freddy and know to go there in the middle of night? Or how did she grab his hat and bring it back to the "real world"?  That's because she didn't,  it's just a dream.  Also, she keeps escaping him but no one else can.  It's apparent that it's the work of one dreamer, not multiple  teenagers doomed to die.  That's why it's called A Nightmare on Elm Street, not Multiple Nightmares by Various People. Anyway, we all enjoyed this film (mainly for all its wonderful 80's special effects), and I will give it a 7/10.

Halloween II (1981)

Is this some sort of joke? I've been trick-or-treated to death.

You don't know what death is.

Today's film is Halloween II.  This is ironic, because I watched this a few days ago.  While at work, I was rushed to the hospital (I have a crappy heart).  The movie takes place in a hospital and I'm in a hospital. Wow.

So, I've seen the first Halloween several times as a child thanks to my mom, but never the second one.  My mom explained that Michael Myers was chasing Laurie because she's his sister, but I never understood how she knew that.  Watching the first one again, it is apparent this is never mentioned.

The film starts off immediately after the first film, where Laurie has knocked out Michael and tells the children to run for help.  Dr. Loomis comes and shoots him 6 times, which doesn't stop him.  Why is Michael Myers unkillable?  Laurie is taken to the hospital to tend to her injuries.

Michael goes to the hospital to hunt down Laurie, first killing all the nurses he sees.  The movie is particularly scary because we perceive hospitals as safe places.  Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis and the police are scouring the town for him.  They think they might have killed him when an officer runs over a masked teenager.  The officer shouldn't have been driving so fast on a residential street in the first place.  They learn that the masked man couldn't have been Michael.  The officer who hits the teen is played by the same actor who plays Michael Myers.

This film ramps up the blood and gore scenes, because the former director inserted gory scenes without the new director, Rick Rosenthal's, permission.  The former director, John Carpenter, wanted it to be more like the other money-making slashers that were so popular at the time.  So this makes the film less suspenseful, and more predictable.  People will do stupid things, and Michael will kill them.  Also, the sheriff doesn't get wind of the murders until he is told by someone else, despite having a radio in his car, and the story already being on the news.

Almost everyone gets killed in the hospital, except Laurie who runs quite well despite a broken ankle.  Also, the paramedic who has a crush on her survives despite being knocked out a few times.  The cops never even consider looking for her or protecting her until the last minute, where they miraculously arrive just in time to save her.

How do we know Laurie is Michael's sister?  A nurse appears out of nowhere, and tells Dr. Loomis about a hidden file that states Laurie is Michael's sister, and she was adopted by another family.  Out of nowhere.  She was supposedly sent by the governor to fetch Dr. Loomis.  Why didn't the governor send a freaking SWAT team to destroy Michael is beyond me.  Also, why was Dr. Loomis, the man who took care of Michael for 15 years, not allowed access to his files?  So many questions.  Also, Michael has a lot more screen time in this film, which actually makes his less scary.  His lack of screen time works in the previous film because of what I like to call the "Jaws Effect".  In Jaws, there is evidence of the shark (the fin, the music, the bodies), but the shark doesn't show in its full glory wreaking shit until the end.  Same way with Michael Myers.  In this film, he leaves the Doyle house and goes merrily on his way to the hospital, killing people who stand in his way.  There's too much of to be a shadowy scary figure.  I'm giving this film a 5/10.

The Wolf Man (1941)

Today's film is The Wolf Man.  It's not the best werewolf movie ever, nor is it the first, but it is the most well known.  Also, a lot of the myths surrounding the werewolf came from this movie, not from folklore.

While watching this film, I kept wanting something more.  It wasn't what I expected.  The man who becomes the wolf man, Larry, visits his dad's house in Wales.  He hits on a local girl almost to the point of being creepy.  During this time, everyone talks about wolfs and wolfs-bane and all this, and  it seems out of place, but there's doing that as super obvious foreshadowing.

Larry and the girl, who sold him a silver tipped cane, go visit a gypsy encampment together.  The gypsy dude turns into a wolf, attacks Larry, and he beats him with his cane.  Once the wolf dies, he turns back into a man.  What's weird too is that Larry's wound heals super quick.

The old gypsy lady knows what's happening, and she gives him a protective amulet.  He gives it as a gift to the girl.  He is so stupid.  That was for him, and plus, she already told him she has a boyfriend and he still won't leave her alone.  So, he hits on her, and now is giving her gifts despite knowing she's already with someone.  He is such a creeper.

He turns into a wolf man, which somehow involves him changing clothes without actually changing clothes.  Also, wolf man is a far more appropriate term than werewolf because he's just a guy with a really hairy face.  Plus he strangles his victims.  Or, strangle/bites them.  Wolves don't strangle their prey.  Anyway, he dies so that's the end of that.  I'm gonna give this film a 5/10.

Ringu (1998)

Today's film, Ringu, comes to us from Japan, and basically started our obsession with Japanese Horror films in the '90s.  It relies on tension and mystery to carry the story.  There are no jump scares, and no gore.

It starts off as an urban legend, anyone who watches a certain film will die within a week of seeing it.  Reiko Awasaka is a reporter researching the deaths of the teenagers that watched this film.  Her niece passed away of an apparent heart attack, which we know really came from watching the film.

Throughout the film, we follow Reiko as she uncovers the mystery of the film.  She also watches the film. So, she knows the film will kill her, but she watches it anyway.  She also makes a copy for her ex to watch.  They learn about who created it and where they last live, so they go up there.  Reiko's ex uses his straight up magic psychic powers to look into the past and see Sadako, who created the video as her curse.  Also, their son watches the video because they didn't lock it up properly like they should have.

They see that Sadako's dad pushed her into a well, which they determine is close to the site where the video was found.  They go there, and enter the space below to find the well. They decide to go into the well to find her body.  So, yeah, it's pretty gross how she's done there when she finds the skeleton.  Reiko's time is up, but she survives.  As a result, they believe that they have broken the curse.  But they didn't.  So, her ex dies and Reiko realizes why she lived and he didn't.  She had made a copy and he watched it.  So, to free yourself from the curse, you have to make a copy and make someone else watch it.  She has to find someone to watch a copy in order to save her son.  That's where the name Ringu comes from, it has nothing to do with an actual ring, it refers to the cyclical nature of Sadako's curse.

This movie was okay, but I think I already knew too much about it anyway.  So, it really didn't affect me as much.  I haven't seen the American remake yet, either.  I am giving this film a 7/10.

Profondo Rosso (Deep Red) (1975)

Today's film is Profondo Rosso.  After seeing a few of Dario Argento's films, I have realized that they are pretty predictable.  Or, they follow a certain pattern.

In this film, a British musician's psychic neighbor is murdered, and he sets out to investigate.  Meanwhile, more people are being murdered as well.  I had a hard time keeping up with all the people.  It was like they just threw in extra characters so they could be murdered.  The musician is helped by a reporter.  It's not a bad movie.  It is a good mystery, especially with all of its plot twists.  I will give it a 6/10.

I wondered why the psychic's house is covered in all those creepy paintings.

Onibaba (Devil Woman) (1964)

Today's film is Onibaba, meaning "demon woman".  Not surprisingly, the demon woman turns out to be the mother-in-law.

A long time ago, in 14th century Japan, a man named Kichi has been forced to fight in some samurai's war.  He leaves behind his wife and mother in the grassy wetlands.  The war has destroyed everyone's livelihoods.  No one can even grow food because the farmers are either fighting in the war or don't want to be killed in the fields while others are fighting.  So, lots of people are starving.

Kichi's wife and mother make a living by ambushing weak soldiers, tossing them in a pit, then selling off their belongings.  One day, Kichi's friend and fellow soldier, Hachi, returns from war.  Unfortunately, Kichi has been killed in war.

Later, Mrs. Kichi, now single, starts going out with Hachi, much to her mother-in-law's disappointment.  She does everything to prevent this relationship, but it doesn't work.  I think she is afraid of being alone.  Mrs. Kichi sneaks out every night to have hot sex with Hachi,

The mother-in-law meets a samurai wearing a demon mask.  She kills him and uses the mask to scare off her daughter-in-law from meeting Hachi.  She truly believes it is a demon and is terrified.  But, soon she finds out the truth about who this demon really is.

The movie overall wasn't scary, but it was creepy and atmospheric.  It also shows that there are other good Japanese films that are not Kurosawa films.  I will give it a 7/10.

Vampyr (1932)

Today's film is Vampyr.  Yes, it is another vampire film.  Yes, I am totally over watching all these vampire films.  Our hero, Allan, is interested in vampires and other supernatural things.  His travels take him to the countryside.  While staying the night in an inn, a random strange man unlocks his door, leaves a package for him, and leaves.  I would be so freaked out if a stranger came in my room like that.

The package says "To be opened upon my death".  Well that's creepy.  Meanwhile, Allan walks around the inn and sees many strange things.  A shadow climbs up a ladder, but there is no actual person climbing the ladder! There is other shadow work that is well done for the time.

Throughout the film, we see a large old woman, and a doctor that looks like Einstein, so I'm calling him Dr. Einstein.  Later, Allan sees someone shoot the strange man, and runs to help him.  Unfortunately, it's too late.  The strange man had two daughters, and one is mysterious ill and anemic.  We know it's the work of a vampire.

Allan opens his package, since the strange man is now dead.  It's a book explaining the vampire legend and how to kill them.  So, Allan and the house servants set out to complete the task.  Only when the vampire are killed can the daughter be freed.

The only thing I didn't like was all the reading.  It was almost like a silent film with all the title cards and writing.  Otherwise it was okay.  I will give this film a 6/10.

Phantasm (1979)

I told my dad that I was watching lots of horror films this month, and he suggested a movie to me.  He remembered that he watched it in college, and it had a silver sphere that floated around and killed people.  So I researched ‘70s horror films and found out what it was.  Today’s film is Phantasm.

What, I don’t even know the deal about this movie.  The plot is just everywhere.   There is a mortician called the Tall Man, because you know, he’s a tall man.  He takes corpses in his morgue and shrinks them into midget zombies to do his bidding as slaves in a parallel universe.  The gateway to the parallel universe is in the funeral home.

The sphere, I think, is guarding the parallel universe gateway.  It also prevents anyone from getting near the midget zombies.  It shoots spikes at people and can kill them.  It doesn’t appear as much as I thought, especially since this is the only thing my dad remembered about the movie.

The main villain is the Tall Man, rather than the sphere.  He attacks the main character, his brother, and their best friend that happens to be an ice cream man.  This also somehow works into the plot.  There are not enough drugs in my house to fully appreciate/understand this movie.  I am totally baffled.  I will give this film a 3/10 for poor writing, but it was somewhat entertaining.

Strangers on a Train (1951)

In horror films, the plot progresses because the main character/s make bad decisions.  If they would have made a good decision, there might not even be a movie at all.  Today's film is Strangers on a Train.  If you are thinking, wait, this isn't a horror film, just trust me.

Our main character is Guy, a super hot tennis player caught in a bitter divorce with his ex-wife.  He's riding on the train when approached by a man named Bruno Antony.  He seems okay, and is a fan of Guy.  So, being a sports celebrity, it is relativity easy to find out about him.  It's not like today, with facebook and instagram, where everyone puts there info online and it's incredibly easy to stalk anyone.  Bruno knows about Guy's ex-wife and how he feels about her.  He then proposes his amazing idea of the perfect murder - to switch murders so both parties have no motive yet get rid of their victims.  Now is the time to scooch away as far as you can.  But, nope.  Guy makes a bad decision and condescendingly nods and listens to Bruno's grand idea.

Bruno wants to kill his father, because his father wants him to get a job.  So, murder is totally the best route here.  But, Bruno knows he will be arrested because of his motive.  So his idea is to kill Guy's ex-wife while Guy kills his father, so neither will be caught.  Guy just entertains his idea, not realizing he is 100% serious.  I think Robert Walker's performance of Bruno is probably the best part of watching this film.

So Guy goes to see his ex-wife, who is the town bicycle (because everyone's had a ride).  His ex-wife is pregnant with someone else's baby.  She decides that since Guy finally has money and fame from his tennis career, she's going to refuse to divorce him, ruining his chances to marry his girlfriend.  She is such a slut bitch and Guy is furious.  He yells that he wants to strangle her.  Bruno, meanwhile, stalks her for a bit, and then actually strangles her.

Bruno waits for Guy outside his house, and informs he what he's done.  Guy is horrified that he was serious.  He wants to go to the police, but Bruno talks him out of it. Another bad decision by Guy.

Later, Bruno realizes that Guy isn't going to kill his father like he'd hoped.  He decides to plant evidence to convict him of his ex-wife's murder.  Guy's girlfriend tries to help, but makes it worse.  She is also smart enough to figure out what's going on without anyone telling her.

The only bad part about this film, which forces me to lower the score, is the carousel scene.  Guy and Bruno are fighting on the carousel and it explodes.  What.  What a cheap ending, all this intriguing stuff going on, and you're going to make a carousel explode.  That makes no kind of sense.  I don't like that at all.  The cops want to arrest them, and Guy wants Bruno to confess.  Bruno dies, and his evidence falls out of his hand.  If Guy would have just gone to the police a long time ago, and explained everything, none of this would happen.  So the moral of the film is, don't make bad decisions or a carousel will explode.  Still not one of the best Hitchcock films, but it's better than Rope cause that movie succkked.  I will give this film a 6/10.

The Amityville Horror (1979)

Well, I just finished watching the most boring haunted house movie.  Today's movie is The Amityville Horror.  In 1974, in Amityville, New York, Ronald "Butch" Defeo, Jr, shot and killed the other six members of his family while they slept.  He originally appeared to be an innocent witness, but as the detectives chipped away at his story, he was revealed to be a sociopathic killer.  I listened to an interview of his, thirty years after his arrest, and he is downright proud of what he has done.

 

A year later, George and Kathy Lutz, along with their children, moved in.  Supposedly lots of weird shit happened, and they determined that the house was possessed.  This was also one of the first famous cases of the "demonologists"/con artists Lorraine and Ed Warren.  Both actors who portrayed George and Kathy Lutz didn't believe the story at all.

 

There just wasn't enough there to warrant being scared of this movie.  Because of the phony demon story, the Amityville house is one of the most famous "haunted" houses of all time.  It recently went on sale for over a million dollars.  I wanted to tour the house, but my husband was much too scared.  Like I said in my Exorcist review, he believes any demon-related story he hears.  I am including this movie in my list of haunted house films, however I think the real story is much scarier.  Butch appeared to be a sound human being, but underneath lurked a darker side, in which he killed his defenseless sleeping family without warning.  He is in prison for the rest of his life.  During his trial, he stated "When I got a gun in my hand, there's no doubt in my mind who I am. I am God." 

 

I think that the whole haunted house story the Lutzes concocted actually insults the memories of the true victims of the Amityville House.  As for the movie, I didn't expect much, but I ended up being bored.  There's nothing scary in this whole movie.  The film takes itself way too seriously, and doesn't have the scare power to back it up.  If you're looking to watch a haunted house film, I would skip this one.  I'm giving it a 4/10.

Christine (1983)

Today's film is Christine.  It's about a car that kills people.  A car.  That kills people.  The reason we're starting off October with this film is to illustrate a different kind of horror film.  Most horror films involve a human or creature killing people, but what about inanimate objects killing people?  How can you stop something that isn't technically alive?

Here in Florida, we have a museum exhibit dedicated to Robert the Doll, a very evil doll, but there's no movies about him yet.  Also, there's the story of Annabelle, the demented Raggedy Ann doll.  There is a movie coming out about her soon, but she's been replaced by super-evil looking doll.  I hope to focus more on films focusing on killer inanimate objects this month, because they are super scary.

Christine is one of those campy films you watch late at night with friends, but doesn't have any real scary moments.  It is said that Christine was a demonic car, but I think it was actually controlled by a virus/parasite.  I say virus in the sense of a computer virus taking over the system, and a parasite which controls its host.  When Christine is threatened, the virus takes over to protect itself.  She is bought by a meek teenager, Arnie, who is also changed by the virus to some degree.

His bullies go out of their way to smash and destroy his car, and I thought, well that's a shitty virus, can't even stop bullies from attacking it.  However, Christine is able to heal itself quite well, and in turn hunts down the bullies. Arnie's friends are concerned with his change, and when they discover Christine is a murderer, try to destroy it.  But how can they kill it?  I will give this film a 5/10.