Q & A- Living with Harlequin Ichthyosis.

I've been asked to do a video answering questions about living with Harlequin Ichthyosis. I've also been asked to write an article on being pregnant with H.I seeing as how I'm literally the first person whose ever been pregnant that has this skin disorder. I'm honored to be an educator on this topic but in order to answer questions, ya'll have to ask me questions. I've already received more than I expected but I'm always welcoming more. I've said a billion times, I'd rather someone ask vs. assume.

So ask any question you'd like! Personal is fine as long as its respectfully asked and not vulgar. Aslo, Curt will be answering questions as well. Questions for him? Ask away!

To ask us questions click on our:
Formspring anonymously or add your name. 
Stephs twitter, Curts twitter,
 YouTube Channel, Facebook or as a comment on this blog! 

A mothers love begins before the child is born.

"A mothers love begins before the child is born." I've often heard this quote, liked it but never knew what it truly meant... Until now.

September 21, 2012- My life changed completely. The way I thought, looked at life, loved, appreciated life all changed in an instant. It was almost like God grabbed my face and said "You're gonna be a mommy now, in control of someone else's life. They're gonna depend on you and need you.". As I've said many times, Curt and I both wanted a baby SO bad and we were taking the needed steps to have a baby but it was still such a shock when the two pink lines showed up.

I loved my sweet baby as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I remember asking my momma if it was normal to love someone so soon, we're talking hours after finding out. I fell even more in love with him after going to my first doctor appointment and seeing his bean-butt on the screen. Then my second appointment was even better, I heard his heartbeat! The best sound I've ever heard in my life... So strong, healthy, loud. I wanted to record it, put it on a CD and listen to it constantly, forever. No words to describe hearing my sons heartbeat for the first time. Last visit was my third one, I was 17 weeks. We heard his heartbeat again which was just as wonderful as before but this time we saw him. He went from bean to boy in a few weeks! He's the cutest 17 week old (Currently 19) fetus I've ever seen. No mistaking either, hes all boy. He made sure we knew that! Lol.

I never knew it was possible to love someone so much. I worry about him constantly if hes not moving or if I get a weird feeling then as soon as I get to the point where I'm almost in tears, he'll kick or move and make sure I feel it. Hes already rotten! Kinda like saying "Gotchya momma!" lol. I'm only halfway done (or a week away from being halfway done) but I feel like I know him. Is that normal? I mean, I feel like a really know him. I dont know how to explain it, I guess just really really bonded with him.

He's so funny cause my momma is crazy about him and he'll kick for his daddy, momma and aunt (my little sister) but when my mom puts her hand on my belly he'll quit instantly. I'm telling you, he's a butthead! haha!
Curt will sing to him and talk to him forever... He's an absolute wonderful daddy! He makes sure I'm eating right and often. He gets us whatever we want (or whatever I'm craving), he's amazing! But I knew that before I even got pregnant. :) As soon as we went to my 3rd check up, the nurse took us back to the ultrasound room and we saw his sweet face, hands, feetsies, theeennnnn I heard Curt scream "ITS A BOY AINT IT!?" lmao! Funniest thing ever! The nurse said "Yep, he's a little boy!" we were all crying and laughing.

Little Mason Drake Turner makes me the happiest mommy ever and he doesn't even know it yet. I'm so blessed that God chose to put two of them sweet Turner boys in my life. What would I do without them?

 Meet Mason Drake 9-17 weeks. :)

3.2.1 get ready

Lately I guess I've lost the reason and "umph" that I had to post videos and/or blog. I became so busy with my own life that I quit doing what I enjoy.. I've always wanted to make a difference even in the smallest of ways. When someone new learns about Harlequin Icthyosis because of me, I feel SO accomplished. I don't just mean the basics of H.I but the fact that people with it are just as likely to live a "normal" life as anyone else. Sure, it may not be as easy but who said life was easy? Anyway.... I've always enjoyed putting my life out there hoping someone new (or my dedicated subscribers) view it as a positive thing. Like "no matter what obstacles you're given, you can stay positive." by no means am I saying I don't have bad days or that I have the worst life ever. I have a great life and I definitely do have bad days!

I lost my "umph" until I was on facebook this morning and saw Harlequin Ichthyosis moms ranting about a picture of a H.I baby posted on facebook for "likes". We have enough critics in life without ignorant people exploiting us. I didn't see the picture myself nor the comments but I'm sure they're horrendous, just watch YouTube videos and look at some comments. It's all completely ridiculously ignorant, selfish and just cruel. That picture was someones baby, grandbaby, sister or brother put out on display without any purpose at all  other than to gain attention. The majority of it was negative especially since no one had any information to go on.

Luckily an  extraordinary momma of an extraordinary little girl has a popular blog that she updates regularly. As soon as some people saw that Facebook picture, they commented directing other people towards Blessed By Brenna. I'm SO glad she has that blog and educates so many people. People were saying how they're glad too since thats where they got their information from after they saw the picture.. She's not the only mom who has an educating blog on H.I, De has a great blog as well that talks about her two year old son Evan.

If these women didn't have a blog and weren't up for educating people on they're babies condition, a lot less people would know about it now. Which brings me back to my point, if I up and quit videoing and blogging what am I helping? Nothing AND I'm missing out on doing something I love.

So yall get ready for some blogging and videoing.. Ps. I got a new laptop & that doesn't hurt either. ;)

Sweet Ev-man :)

Ho ho hat Monday

Today I woke up, rushed to get  ready so I could run errands with my momma. I got ready in about an hour which was pretty quick for me, I was getting it! As I was putting lotion on, I realized I left my hair in Curts truck backseat. Betchya hadn't heard that many times? Since it was in the truck, Curt was an hr away at work & I rushed like a mad woman to get ready I wasn't about to just stay in all day. I decided to throw on a hat and go on about my day.

Everyone in my town knows I wear a wig & I'll post pics on social sites without any hesitation but going out in public without it is new for me!.. As a matter of a fact I hadn't done it since 1st grade when I first started wearing wigs.


The day is just starting out, I'll update tonight or tomorrow morning and let yall know how it went. :)


My "ho-ho-hat". :) Pink Realtree camo!

Vlog vs. Blog. (& an update!)

I've said it a million times, "I just don't have the time or energy to vlog today".. (Vlog; video blogging)
It seems I say that daily. I want to keep ya'll updated with everything but more people watch my videos than read my blog. I've come to realize its about quality not quantity. I knew that before but I've always wanted to reach out to as many people as possible. Here lately I've been under so much stress and I've just been plain ole lazy & tired. Recording and editing videos ain't as simple as it might seem like.  I've decided that I'm just going to keep my blog updated since I can do that from my phone or anywhere, really. Plus I can post pictures & keep up with other people w/ Ichthyosis or "mommy to be's"!

All about my pregnancy! 

We found out September 21st that Curt & I were going to be mommy & daddy! I found out pretty early, the first week of my missed period. I was 3 weeks pregnant. We called my dermatologist the following Monday so we could find out which high risk OBGYN she recommended. She set me up an appointment in Little Rock at UAMS with a WONDERFUL doctor who I love so far.

I went in to see my sweetpea at 9weeks exactly. Everything looked great! At 7weeks my butt was already becoming wide and my belly was getting bigger as well as my boobs. I went from a B to a big C (possibly a small D if I wanted). I haven't wore jeans since my 7th or 8th week. My feet are also too fat for my Ariat boots so I'm wearing house shoes everywhere. Looking real classy. 

My pregnancy symptoms were real fun at first! I became super sick the very week after finding out that I was pregnant. I was throwing up everything every time I ate and when I wasn't throwing up my stomach was tore up. Very dangerous since I lose so much nutrients through my skin already... Luckily I stopped getting so sick after my 6th week, the dizzyness lasted my whole first trimester though. 

Last Friday I noticed I am urinating alot more frequently, now I'm to the point where I'm convinced my baby is line dancing on my bladder. At night I'm steadily making trips to and from the bathroom and it seems like I can never get enough to drink! 

I'm currently 14 weeks 5 days (as of 11/28/12) and my skin is stretching great so far! No skin problems at all other than the usual drying out quicker since its cold outside. No cracking or infections at all so far. We're all pretty excited about that! My skin is sore more since the weather is ranging from mid 60's to 27 degrees within  less than a week. I also haven't gotten my flu shot yet, I'll be getting that Dec 17th. 

Last time we went to the doctor Nov 15th, we heard the heartbeat. It was absolutely the best sound I've ever heard in my life. The feeling I felt when I heard how loud and strong is was, is unexplainable. To know that my own little miracle is just hanging out, growing and living in my belly is crazy! The heartbeat was 159, the doc said that it was perfect! December 17th is when we go in to find out the sex of the baby. I honestly don't care what the gender is as long as its healthy and happy. 

The only problem that has happened so far is the fact that I'm losing weight pretty rapidly. We're talking about a little over 7lbs. My tummys getting bigger, my butts getting wider but I'm losing weight. I've cut way back on drinking cokes which canceled alot of incoming calories but I really haven't had an apatite. Plus I lose alot through my skin too.. I'm supposed to be gaining a pound a week but first I've got to keep my weight steady! I'm trying to eat more though and snack too. High calories and healthy. 

 I took this yesterday!

 Maxman always cuddles up on my belly! 

Already protecting his little bubba or sissy. :)

Everyone has a story..

Do you ever question your faith? Do you ask yourself how do you revolve your whole life around someone you've never seen? I have. Honestly, I think all Christians have. The way we keep revolving our life around God is by having faith. Faith to me is knowing God has a plan and in the end good will happen. Jeremiah 29:11 says; "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". 

I was raised in a Baptist church until I was about 6 or 7 years old then we slowly strayed away from going. As I reached my teen years my life was desperately seeking Jesus. I was 14, I started dating a boy who wasn't Christ-like at all. He stated many times that he believed in God but then he'd listen to awful music about molestation, killing, pedophiles, etc., he was a very dark and sad person. I was very impressionable at 14 and I was very glad he thought so highly of me, which I knew he did because he so often told me. He started talking about how the world was out to get us and made everything seem so scary and sad. Soon I was contemplating suicide. I had it all figured out, how & where. What stopped me? My curly haired 5 year old sister. I knew she looked up to me... What would she do if she came in my room and saw me? How would that change her life? How would it effect my mom? Plus we fought all odds just for me to survive, God took his time to put thought and effort into creating me then I'm gonna put an end to it all? No. He made me, gave me the life I have and helped me overcome all my struggles since birth for a reason. I know that now. 

15 years old was a pretty hectic time in my life. After seeing a counselor for a while and finally getting on depression medicine and getting stable, I guess I figured it was time to rock the boat a little more. After being on the internet constantly and watching YouTube videos of people and killing time on chat sites, I decided I was gay. So my mom brought supper home and she gave me my food, I handed her a note. It basically said "Mom, I'm a lesbian. I've prayed about it but nothings happened. I know you're gonna be disappointed in me but I can't change who I am." She wrote back "I love you no matter what and I'll pray for you."... Was I really a lesbian? Of course not. I was so wrapped up in wanting a place to fit in and be accepted especially after the whole suicide ordeal. The LGBT community is a great place to feel like you belong somewhere! I was trying to "find myself". I believe its hard for any teenager to know where they belong unless they have a boat load of high self esteem, I obviously didn't. I met my absolute best friend in my time of self-searching and made a few more good friends! I'm not knocking the LGBT community, I'm impressed by how accepting they are. But when it came down to it, I knew it wasn't right for me. That just wasn't what God had planned.  

 At 16 I was reunited with a guy who I dated previously and had very strong feelings for. We started dating again and soon fell "in love". After about 9 months of seeing each other on a daily basis he proposed. It wasn't the fairy tale proposal that little girls dream about by any means.. Actually, it was over the phone(even though he lived less than 10 minutes away from my house). I said yes. We were great for a while, even attended church a time or two! We got an apartment together and planned on getting married the weekend after my 18th birthday. As time went on we quickly fell apart... Fighting constantly, lies were slowly building up and a wall was formed. After a year of being together we were over in an instant. Suddenly we had a fight that ended us completely.. I thought my life was over. Our first Christmas, Christmas tree, Thanksgiving, family get-together's, rainy nights watching movies in our very own apartment, I really liked his family, I assumed he liked mine.. All that was gone. I dropped out of high school because he was 4 years older than me and when he was off work he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend/fiance` and I was in school or sick. Granted, he never told me to drop out but I didn't want him finding someone else to spend his time with. I thought we were in love and was meant to be. Now I know that I loved him as a person but was never IN LOVE with him. I know what love is now.. I was so used to him being there and it was comfortable to be with him. It wasn't anything like I'm experiencing now with my husband. At the time our relationship ended I was sure I'd never find anyone else and that my whole life would never be the same, I'd always be miserable... Boy was I wrong! 

I met an amazing man at 18 years old. He was shockingly sweet right from the start. We met up on New Years Eve, I was a little under the influence and he was sober. He didn't try anything inappropriate at all even though I put myself in a potentially bad situation. We left the party we were at and went back to my parents house, he, my family and I were sitting around the fire talking and cutting up. He instantly warmed up to my crazy family and they loved him! As the night went on and I sobered up little by little things steadily became better, more fun. I was crazy about him from night one.. We saw each other every weekend for a few months then we ended up living together. Three months into the relationship he picked me up a gorgeous diamond ring, took me out to the land where his family was raised and lived for a long time and got down on one knee and said "my family's life began here and ended here... I want mine to begin here too." I started up the water works and he was so shaky but managed to put the ring on my finger. As soon as the ring was on, it started pouring down rain so we ran back to the truck. That was the happiest day of my life!... Until two months later we randomly got married in the courthouse without warning anyone. I was wearing my Mossy Oak camo sweatpants, Ariat boots and Arkansas Razorback tshirt. We were an hour away from either of our home towns and I was exhausted from planning our dream wedding, making budgets and what not. He asked if I wanted to get married then and there so two hours later we were Mr. & Mrs. Turner! It all happened so fast but if you know you've found the person God intended you to be with, why wait? We're young but we're completely head over heels in love! No doubt in my mind he is my soulmate. 

After things got settled down and we got our new apartment fixed up and he got a great job, things seemed great! Our love was only getting stronger, financially we were doing alright and we had the cutest puppy ever.. What more does a person need?...A baby! We eventually started discussing kids and if it was even safe for me to have a baby since I have this skin disorder. Of course there was no way of knowing since I'm the oldest girl one in America with Harlequin Ichthyosis. No one else has ever been pregnant according to doctors. We talked about it millions of times, prayed about it constantly. We talked to our families, friends, doctors, each other but mainly God. We decided we were gonna go for it! I've never let my skin hold me back.. I went to public school, was a cheerleader for 4 years, was a girl scout, I go to the lake in the summer, I have friends, go out, hunt, fish, I do anything any other girl does. I've proven statistics wrong my entire life with the help of God, momma and doctors. I told Curt this and he agreed that if I felt that strongly about it and knew the risks and were willing to take them then he'd be behind me every step of the way. Afterall, he wanted to be a daddy too! 

We began to pray every night that God would let whatever he wanted to happen, happen. Whether that meant getting pregnant or adopting. Within the first month I had missed my period! I was so nervous because before we tried getting pregnant, we had been irresponsible before and we had a pregnancy scare but then a few days later I started my period. Even though we weren't trying then I still couldn't help but get a little excited.. This time, I realized I missed it so after I was a week late I took a test with only my momma knowing and it came back POSITIVE.... All seven of them did, haha! Curt and I were both overwhelmed with excitement, both crying like crazy, kissing and hugging. 

This all sounds great and probably doesn't sound too odd to you. But add this into the equation; after my I had unprotected sex with my ex fiance and I got a little wild after we broke up. Never did I get pregnant. I also had unprotected sex with Curt for a little bit until we came to our senses, never got pregnant. It took praying, being in love and getting married for God to bless us with our little miracle. It happened at just the right time!... Almost. 

I became very sick, puking all the time, head hurting and dizzy. I was expecting it to be an awful pregnancy. Turns out there was mold in our apartment so we had to move out quick! We had no choice but to move back in with my parents, which is no fun. I love my momma with all my heart but I'd much rather just live with Curt and my pupdog. Weeks went by, hormones are getting crazy, I've become a big ole baby and ended up getting pretty depressed. We always seemed to be broke even though Curt had a great job and I make money myself. We didn't have a house, every single one we looked at in our price range was pretty bad and everyone seemed so on edge plus Curt and I were fighting more. I began to pray like crazy... Praying for the baby, praying for my marriage, praying for my family, praying for everything. I talked to Curt about going back to my old church, he was more than willing! We started going to church, we started praying and one night while I was crying, my phone rang.. It was my grandparents telling us a trailer that we previously looked at, loved and could afford came through! We should be moved in my Christmas. 

Theres no doubt in my mind that God rewards them who follow him. Them who make a point to have God in their lives. God has always been there for me even when I couldn't see it or wasn't even asking him to be. He knew I needed him, I always need him. You always need him. I hope and pray that my story has a positive effect on atleast one person. I felt like I needed to share it so here ya go! 

Luke 10:27   He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Pregnancy Update!

Today marks my 12th week! We're so close to the 2nd trimester, I can taste it!  I haven't had much energy to do anything.. I do good to get out of the house a few times a week... I'm always so tired and sleepy! I haven't actually thrown up since my 5th or 6th week, thank goodness!  

My skins doing GREAT so far, much better than I expected.. Especially for me to be so big. Sometimes I can feel skin tightening around my belly button but I put Baby Oil on it or Aquaphor and it fixes things right up. I usually put Baby Oil on my skin every night, it helps so much and smells good too. :) 

I go to the doctor Wednesday and Thursday (14th & 15th) in Little Rock to see my new dermatologist (while I'm pregnant) and then Thursday I do to see my baby doctor. I'm pretty sure this baby doc app will consist of blood drawing & listening to the heartbeat. Super excited to listen to the heartbeat.... Not so much getting blood drawn. Eckk!

I've gotten pretty big, pretty quick! I'm wearing my mommas pants she wore on her 9th month pregnant with my little sister, I'm 3 months and it wont be long until I have to get some bigger britches! Shirts are fine for now, some are a little snug buy most are good.... Boots on the other hand are different! I've been having to wear house shoes because my boots are too tight on my feet. 

I've had the usual pregnancy problems so far but none are near as bad as they could be and they'll all be more than worth it in the end. I love my little sweetpea  SO SO SO SO SO SO SO  much! I never knew it was possible to love anyone this much, esp someone I technically haven't even met yet. S/he already has my heart completely! We should find out if it will be a little Ellie Faith or William Lee Curtis in 3 or 4 weeks. 

Things thats helped me so far..

• Nausea? Spice & pickles.
• Dizzy? Don't close your eyes. 
• Headache? Tylenol 

        Our sweet little pumpkin at 9 weeks! Heartbeat was so good!

I'm so hood.

I've been a little behind on writing here lately, I've had lots of stuff going on. As I have mentioned before I live in a "not so good" neighborhood, crime ratings are high. We moved in July 7th, already there has been a break-in right below us, sirens all day everyday, gunshots almost daily and we watched the apartment in front of us get broken into by cops because the people stole a car. Not to mention alot of people that live around us are big druggies.  I could go on but I believe you get the point!

On the inside isn't too swift either. Mold is taking over the inside of our walls, leaks are all over our ceiling, its just a poor put together place. For a while I was very sick to my stomach and head was killing me, we blamed it on me being pregnant. I went to Wynne for 4 days and by the end of the first night there, I was feeling GREAT. Last Sunday I went back to our apartment and walked to the bedroom and threw up again! I've been there all week and all week I've been sick. It's obvious its that place! Sadly, our lease isn't up until 1/7/2013 but we're gonna try to get our landlord/manager to fix the problems and if they don't, we'll be forced to break the lease somehow or another. I refuse to put my baby, myself and husband (& Max) in a mold infested apartment for 3 or 4 more months, ain't happening!

Since I've felt AWFUL  staying there, I'm now back in Wynne for a while... They're supposed to be fixing everything Saturday but we'll see if that happens. Needless to say, they're not very good up keepers of the place! On the plus side, I'm down here with my family! Negative side, I'll be away from Curt until Saturday night... Another upside? I should be making a YouTube video if I get to feeling any better. :)

Positive Polly at your service!

People, including myself, are quick to name the negatives of their "illness" or "problem" but hardly ever the positives! I believe with every ounce of my heart that with each negative there's atleast one positive... Although it is alot of the times  VERY tough to see! I thought I'd give you a little jump start!

Positives about having H.I (my opinion)-

1.) Brought me closer to God.

2.) I talk to God frequently throughout the day.

3.) When girls have to pay money to go tan so they won't be so pale come summertime, I'm spendin that money on cute bikinis. ;)

4.) Girls have to blow dry their hair, which could take forever!... I put mine on the wig head, put it infront of a fan & go on about my business!

5.) I'm soooo in tune with my body, that could save my life one day!

6.) My state SEC football team are the Arkansas Razorbacks. Their main color is red! Lets just say- I'm a huge razorback fan! ;D woooo pig sooie!

7.) My skin got me out of doing P.E.

8.) It was an easy A for me in English class when I wrote a paper on it.

9.) I've learned to stick up for things & people that I believe in.

10.) I'll talk to anyone regardless of what they look like... Unless they drive a white van with no windows. ;)

People BS too much about pregnancy!

So I'm not trying to be a cry baby but these are NOT fun times! I'm only 5 weeks and 2 days and I've stayed sick since I woke up yesterday! Dizzy & sick to my stomach, bad!

I'm much better when I'm laying down not moving but as soon as I raise my head up, its bad again. I can't even get on Facebook, Twitter, etc. because as soon as I start scrolling up/down it maximizes times 20!  This is gonna be a loooong 8 more months if things don't get a little better.

Don't get me wrong, I looooove my little bug but she/he's kicking my booty! 5 weeks, two days &-
> Steadily sick to my stomach
> Dizzy
> hot
>gotta have air blowing on my face
>I'm crying about stupid stuff

Can't wait to see what else happens week by week! Lordy! Lol. Just keepin it in my mind that the end result will make everything more than worth it. :)

Bugs already givin us a heartattack!

About 5pm yesterday I started having alot of discharge then last night cramping began, it felt like I was going to start my period but a little more painful.

After attemptin to wake up Curt & failing, I called my best friend & asked if she'd take me to the ER, it may not be anything to worry about but I'd rather be safe than sorry when it comes to bug..

Chels arrived at our apartment about 7 minutes after I called.. She raced in the bedroom, woke Curt up with hardly any effort at all (probably had something to do with the fact she was yelling at him, haha!) we were headed to the hospital in no time. The hospital its 5 minutes away from us, tops! We were signing papers by 10:45pm.

After the nurse took my temp, blood pressure, random questions & asked a million rude questions about my skin, we were put in our room. They are the slowest ER people ever! Pretty good hospital but very slow.. Eventually I peed in a cup & gave blood TWICE. Here's a side note for ya, the second lady that took my blood had to be the rudest nurse I've ever seen in my life.. Let me tell ya! But this one by far outdid herself in the bitch contest.

First of all, I hate doin blood work, I always have! The first lady who attempted it, messed up so the hag-lady came in & gave it a whirl. My arm doesn't stretch out all the way, she obviously didn't understand that even after I TOLD her. She kept pulling my arm out to the point where it was hurting my skin & bone. Nurses never have too much trouble taking my blood from my arm! Then I told her jokingly "I'm a big baby when it comes to takin blood so I'll have to look away." She said "um if you're having a baby you'll need to be tougher than this" said this about 4 times in the 15 mins she was in my room. Okay, 1. I wasn't crying and acting stupid, just simply looked away and clinched my opposite fist! 2. I AM tough! I've been through more in my 19 years than people could imagine. Its not her job to decide whose tough & whose not. I'd like to see her fighting for her life multiple times because of something she has no control over & still maintain a positive attitude!

Anyway, hours later the blood work & urine sample came in & my hormones were good but they thought I might be having a tubal pregnancy. 30 mins later I was in the ultrasound room seeing my angels home, the gestational sac. But the baby was too small to see since I'm only 5wks 1day.

The doctor eventually came in after looking everything over and told me everything was perfect! Everything looked very healthy! :)
We're super blessed no doubt! Now I've gotta wait 24 days to go to the actual baby doctor, I'll be about 8 weeks then! Going on October 19th. Excited, excited, excited!

Lightening bugs & fireflies

I posted a quick entry stating that I'm pregnant but added very little detail so here it goes-

I'm PREGNANT!! :D According to my last period I should be 5 weeks, 4 days! Excited doesn't even come close to what I'm feeling. I've been on an emotional roller coaster since Friday... Crying because I'm happy, crying because I'm terrified, crying because I've not stopped crying. Haha its been crazy but great!

I've stopped dipping, taking my anxiety medicine & drinking coke all in one day just cold turkey. Between stress, hormones & my cold turkey approach- my body is hating me I bet! But it'll have to get used to it, its all for my little lightening bug!

I already love him/her so much its unreal (I'm almost sure its going to be a girl!). This is so much better than I ever imagined.. To know a whole other life is steadily growing in my tummy, feeding off me, relying on me is just so nerve racking to me.. Don't get me wrong, its fantastic but honestly I can't control my body except how I take care of it.

Here's another thing that makes me nervous, twins run in both of our families! Holy moly! 2? No way Jose, my nerves would be dangling on dental floss! Haha! If we have twins or if we don't it'll be greater than words could describe either way.

I've decided to start a pregnancy journal just encase my little sweetpea wants to read it when he/she grows up! Just documenting how the day went, how I'm feeling, what we're thinking, etc.. I figured it'd be a great keepsake! I'm also taking pics of my tummy every Friday.

In the spirit of babies I figured I'd post pics of me when I was little! :)

There's a baby in my tummy!

Friday night (9.22.12) we found out we were pregnant! 5 tests later we were 100% positive... I couldn't believe it was true! After adding everything up, I should be 5 weeks, 4 days. Excited!!!!!

I'm absolutely in love with my little lightenin bug already! I didn't even know that was possible? I knew it was after we seen the ultrasound but as soon as I found out? Woah. I'm making a doctors appointment for the beginning of next week. I'll be going to Memphis.

I can already tell in going to be an over protective mom. I'm quitting dipping (obviously), drinking coke since I'm prone to UTI's anyway & eating fast food that's meat isn't frozen- I'm not taking a risk of undercooked anything! Call me too careful if you want but this is my baby, I'm the momma & Curt couldn't agree more. We're soooo excited!
Keep us in yalls prayers please!
Ps.I bet it'll be a girl ;)

Living with Harlequin Ichthyosis

Disorder not a disease

I've written a post similar to this I think but I thought I'd get into more details now since I have time..
Living with H.I is no easy task... From my first appearance into this world I have been doubted, as soon as I was born the doctors told my mom that I wouldn't make it through the night, if I did I wouldn't last much longer.... After a few weeks they said I'd be VERY limited to what I could do and couldn't do. I stayed in the hospital for a good while since I was so prone to infections, dehydration, etc..I came home and  my momma took fantastic care of me, as well as my grandma.

Lets skip to Kindergarten- I started school at 5 years old and hated it at first! It had always been me and my mom so leaving her side for 8 hours seemed like torture to me. I cried every single morning then a little boy who I thought was the greatest boy ever because he made me laugh, bought me a Cabbage Patch Doll to cheer me up in the mornings.. I still have it! Kindergarten went fine, I learned to like it since I had no choice (haha!). The only negative comment I remember hearing was when another girl told my friend not to play with me because "I was yucky and if we touched the same things, she would get what I had." soon after hearing it another friend of mine quickly snapped back "WHATEVER! You're just a b*tch! Thats not true!!!" She said as she touched my arm. Probably not the best way to handle it but I believe she made her point.

First grade I started wearing wigs because I felt like it was easier to blend in.. Well the shiny red skin isn't too obvious, right? Shoot, put a blonde almost yellow wig on a red kid you'll hardly notice her! Before that I wore hats that matched my outfit perfectly! I grew up in the 90's so big floppy hats were my moms pick. Thanks momma. We talked to my teacher on the first day of school and she talked to the class before I went into class... Keep in mind I attended a very small public school that the same kids I went to Kindergarten with were the same ones in my Senior class, give & take a few.

Going out in public was and still is an adventure. My mom used to get SO mad at people when they'd stare, point, gasp, etc.. She would get very rude with them quick. I'm her baby! No mom wants their kid to have to endure humiliation, rudeness, down-right meanness. My momma def. didn't put up with it and would always tell me I have to stick up for myself no matter what and to not care what people thought of me because God made me how he wanted me and theres a reason for everything.  My hometown is VERY small so word got around over the years so when I'm home no one really looks at me too different anymore.

As I got older I started having a social life. Hanging out with friends at the local skating rink or bowling ally was a pretty regular Friday night activity for me. The nearest mall was 45 minutes away (in the town im living in now) and its a pretty big town. Needless to say LOTS of stares, gasps, whispers and pointing. As I got older it never really bothered me much but when it did, it 'ticked me off' more than it hurt my feelings. I've always been pretty quick to defend myself but when I was at the mall with friends or out to eat my friends are the ones that jumped to my defense. I still have to tell Nikki (one of my longest best friends) to calm down, I got this!

Its always frustrating in a new town because my skin condition is so rare, hardly anyone knows anything about it. I'm all about spreading knowledge about my skin disorder to anyone, thats the main reason for my YouTube channel and this blog. The problem is people dont ask, they assume! You know what they say about people who assume, dontchya? ;) They  alwats think I'm suburned, stayed in the tanning bed too long or have an awful spray tan.. Theres a million and three other assumptions out there but we're not getting to all of them! Very rarely does anyone actually ask about my skin without being a complete ass. Honestly, I'm not sure of a particular "nice" way to ask but nudging your friend to gawk at the red girl then whisper is a sure way NOT to.

In my old age of 19, I've learned some sure fire ways of getting them to stop with hardly any communication at all.. Because frankly, after you experience some peoples ugliness you just don't have the strength to nicely educate them on your disorder without throwing a few choice words in the lesson.
1. Most of the time if you make it obvious that you see them staring, they'll stop due to embarrassment of just how much of a jerk they are. So look at them back.
2. If number 1 don't work because of some reason such as, they're too mesmerized by your beauty to even notice you're looking back, googly eyes work as well!
3. If the first two don't work- flipping 'em the finger almost always works!. Since my fingers don't stretch out all the way my middle one of course is a little bent but I promise you it does its job well! It's a trooper. :)
4.If none of the above work, its time to get ugly. haha! Kidding!...A little.

I've wrote about the negatives but there truly are positives!

I appreciate peoples personalities.
I'm so much stronger than I think I would be if I didn't have this condition.
I'm very in tune with my body.
I appreciate the small things.
I try my best not to judge people until I get to know them.
I've forced myself to be outgoing.
I've realized I love teaching people about my disorder.
I've learned to defend myself and other people.
I'm very opinionated.
I'm very close to God, although I could def. be closer.

Theres so many other positives but thats all I could think of at this very minute. It may be hard for some people to understand but I do consider my skin disorder a blessing, not a curse. I believe I'm meant to make difference and thats what I intend to do somehow or another. Questions or comments? Let me know! :)

 

Bloom where you are planted..

This ain't an week for me at all. I'm supposed to be hitting that "TOM" this week, I'm already pretty sure this month wasn't  our month and even though I've known that all along, it still sucks. Also, another girl I went to school with is now pregnant... Are you kidding me? She'll be a great mom, no doubt but geeze everyone that comes up pregnant, feels like a slap in the face for me!

On a semi-positive note, Curt and I had a long heartfelt conversation Monday night and we decided that we're going to wait on the fertility & ovulation apps because right now, that's only hurting me. We're just letting nature do its business I reckon... Its hard but that's what's best... Atleast for now.

Our apartment isn't good for a child, its barely good for me, Curt & Max! Lol... But I've been thinking alot and have decided I've GOT to get out of this negative funk! I've never been a negative person & I refuse to start now. I've got amazing people in my life, a roof over my head & food in my belly.. That's more than some people will ever have. I'm so unbelievably blessed so I need to quit all this whining and get it together! That's just what I'm going to do! :)

I hardly ever get on Pinterest seeing as how I don't have a crafty bone in my body, haha- but I did today and found this little picture & loved it! Really fits me right now. :)

Blog here, blog there.

So I'm beginning to fall in love with blogging, its a fantastic way to vent, spread useful information and kill time. I'm trying to decide if Blogger is THE blogging site for me. I was thinking about trying out Wordpress? I'm planning on creating an account on there as well.as doing research today on the site. What exactly made you choose this particular blogging site? I'd love to know any information on any blogging site. Thanks :)

Not a happy day in this neighborhood

I hate our current neighborhood! We went two streets down to the closest grocery store around us, all we needed was milk and bread... Well Curt went in, me and Maximus stayed in the truck... I saw 12-15 kids ranging from 5yrs to 18yrs old go in all at once and soon they started coming out two at a time, of course it looked suspicious to me but I didn't think much of it, it wasn't my business. When Curt came out he told me he saw them stealing. What the heck? I can't stand thieves! We, my family, friends and husband (I'm a stay at home wife) work damn HARD for our money they're steadily making the cost of things get higher because they didn't wanna fork out 75 cents for a Hersey bar. Ticks me off! 

A week ago we heard a gunshot that was obviously close by then sirens almost immediately after. The apartment right below us was broke into a week before that... THEN we recently watched three cops arrest three people in the set of apartments in front of us for car theft. Needless to say we're both ready to get out of here asap.

We now have a plan- Our lease should be up in December so until then we're not going to make trips to Wynne or Newport unless its necessary (holidays, doctor, emergency etc..), we're not going to eat out at all and we're gonna try our best to save money! It's definitely hard to save money when you're just starting out but I don't have a doubt in my mind that we can do it... I  know we can! Hell, we have to.

If worse comes to worse and have no other choice to stay here, we're investing in more locks and guns. To alot of people, that sounds extreme but thats because you haven't been living with us. I, of course, wouldn't ever ever never ever use a gun unless I needed to (a break-in) but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Luckily I'm a pretty badass shooter. ;)

Curt starts night classes for his job in October which makes me even more nervous. He wont be getting home until late. I don't think you should ever feel unsafe in your home! I will not even consider the option of raising a baby here... The town isn't too bad, I'd much rather live in Newport or Wynne but I'd settle for here if need be, just not in this particular area.

  

Mommys best friend!

If you follow me on any social site, you know I L.O.V.E my Weenie Dog (Dachshund), Maximus. I've recently been told more than  once that I am "too attached" to him... I beg to differ. You've got your kids, Ive got my puppy. If you've ever really owned and spent time with a dog you know that they all have their own personalities just like humans. You've got to take him outside, make sure he has food and water, make sure hes eating and drinking enough but not too much (esp for dachshunds) and make sure he has playtime.

Max and I stay home all day until 3:30pm by ourselves, it's safe to say Ive grown pretty attached to him! Hes just like a baby- even sits own his butt leaned on the back of the couch to watch TV & crys and looks out the window when his daddy leaves. If you have spent time with a dog and not cared about it at all, you may need to seek a therapist.. Honest.

He's so much more than a "dog"... He's my best friend, dairy, son and sometimes my dress-up dog ;)..
So to say I'm too attached? You're probably right. I think God that I am because he and Curt keeps me sane in this old apartment. Love them!

You can't have a testimony without a test

Its the little things that hurt...

As you probably know, we're trying to concieve (ttc). Well tonight my grandma called me and told me that someone I used to be really close to and its my age is pregnant! As if its not already HELL for me to get on Facebook, twitter, YouTube, etc. because everyone is having babies. Its to the point that I'd much rater send curt into Walmart by himself cause its hard for me to see someone else with a beautiful little blessing that I may not can have.

We've only been trying a little over a month but every week drags on and I'm 99.8% sure that nothing "took" this month. I've done all kinds of research, downloaded fertility apps, prayed, prayed & prayed. It irritates me to no end how 14-16 year old girls can have sex with some random "Joe Blow" over there and get pregnant so easily! Before you get your undies in a knot, no I'm not saying young moms can't be great moms (my sister in law is a teen mom and is doing a GREAT job!), I'm just saying its so easy for them.

The girl I mentioned earlier is on drugs, we aren't just talking about pot & she's pretty far along. She's steadily in jail, so is the dad & she has no job. Are you kidding me?

Am I jealous? Hell yeah I am! Not jealous of her life by any means but of the baby that she gets to love and hopefully take care of! No matter how much she hurts that sweet baby before its even born, it will still love her unconditionally. If ya ask me, she doesn't deserve it. That's not for me to decide, everything is in Gods hands. I truly wish the girl and baby the best if luck. No baby deserves a strung out mom or harmful substances in its system. I really do pray that the girl gets her head on straight!

All this plus the fact that I feel awful due to weather change makes it almost impossible to keep my head up but I have God, my family, Curt & Max to be happy for so I really have no choice. It may not seem like it reading this post but i really do love my life!

I have a fantastic family, husband, perfect puppy & I'm steadily trying to improve my relationship with God... Even though I may fall back more than I should.

Anyway, please say a prayer for us tonight! Thank you very much.  :)

I'm not sure who wrote this beautiful poem but i love it!

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

Sex and ghettos.

<p>I have 2 apps telling me when I'm fertile and ovulating, I've never figured an app would get it right but since they both have the same days, I'm alot more convinced! All my days were last week, needless to say it was a heck of a week! TMI? Probably! Haha</p>
<p>We've decided we're getting the heck out of Jonesboro ASAP... This town is way too big! We like our apartment pretty well (if you block out the ghosts and crap, ha!) but the neighborhood is awful. It started out pretty good then went to crap very quickly. It's a college town and we live right beside the college. It's gotten much worse since school gas started.</p>
<p>The apartment right below us got broken into and we hear police and ambulance sirens atleast twice a day, no exaggeration needed. Then get this- we were cooking supper, talking, minding own business then we hear gun shots down the road....then more sirens. Are you kidding me? </p>
<p>I'm home alone during the day with Max so I'm pretty jumpy about noises outside.. Yesterday I was putting lotion on and heard a bunch of racket outside so I rushed to put on my Eyore footie jammies, grabbed my gun, locked Max in the bathroom and went and checked outside. Luckily it was only our neighbors fighting but could ya imagine breaking into an apartment and ur faced with a 5'2" red girl in footie pj's aimin a gun atchya? Yeah, I'm pretty much a badass. (<- true story)

Obviously this is no place to raise a baby so we'll hopefully find a house in my hometown by the time our lease is up.. 3 months left!

Also, it's my little sisters birthday Saturday! The big twelve years old! I love her SO much, I can honestly say she's one of my BEST friends! To me, she'll always be that curly afro headed baby that used to come in my room crying, holding my hand after I got in trouble & got a whoopin! I was a smart mouth haha. But in reality she's growing up, I hate it!

Me and Curt went with her on a date last Friday & met her BOYFRIEND! He's a great boy but come on now, boyfriend? Ugh. :(  I def. grilled him though - "Do ya like school? Grades good? What kinda music do ya like? How many siblings? Do you smoke, drink, dip?" He's 14. I might have gotten carried away a little but can't have a delinquent dating my sister! But thank God he seems pretty dang good! So sweet to Hailey which is my main worry! Hes passed the test so far! Haha.

Problem number one.

So here's the deal... I have petty bad depression/anxiety issues. I've been taking Paxil but a whiiile and been doing really good! But since we're trying to have a baby, I'm slowly getting off of it. I was on 40mg then reduced it to 20. I also quit dipping cold turkey, one of hardest things I've done.

Yesterday I woke up and it was like pulling teeth just to get out of bed to go pee! I was so down in the dumps.. I thought i might be sick until i realized that i might have thrown myself for a loop without even realizing it.

I got a little baby dip yesterday and felt a million times better but I dang near refuse to dip while I'm pregnant. I WebMd'd smokeless tobacco while pregnant, it said alot of women turn to it instead of smoking because it us safer than smoking but its still not SAFE. It can cause a breathing condition that causes random brief pauses in their breathing at night.

The thought of that terrifies me! The site also says the baby sometimes grows out of it but the thought of my baby having ANY health issues due to something I did or didn't do makes me sick to my stomach. Especially if i know better, ya know?

But if I quit completely its very likely that I'll have no choice but to choke Curt..Which isn't good for the baby either! (I'm kidding!). But in all seriousness, being unbelievably "down" before I'm even pregnant isn't good for ANYONE! So what in the heck do I do? Of course I'll talk to my doctor but I wanted to get a few more opinions too.

Thank y'all for reading my gripe post!
'Preciate it ;)

My dermatologists called back!

I called my derm. a week ago to ask her opinion on how my skin would react to pregnancy. A week later she called me back, better late than never! :) She told me that i was more prone to stretch marks (who cares?) & needed to gain healthy weight (sounds crazy to me since in my opinion I'm a pig lol, always eating!)..
She also mentioned that hydration would possibly be an issue and she didn't know if id carry full term due to my skin might not stretch AS much as needed. Hydration? Hook my butt up to an IV and pump fluids into me! The only thing that really makes me nervous is not carrying full term. But I'm trying to completely remain positive! I mean really, we got this!

It also helped tons that she sounded so positive about everything! She talked about how she's done research like crazy, talked to other doctors from other places and everything. She also recommended a babydoctor in Memphis. Memphis is an hour away from us and is where i was born. Luckily we know a few doctors there and the ones that delivered me are still there! Thank God!

I'm loving all the good news! Here's more!....
-hadn't had a single dip in 2 days!
-I'm done drinking, even when we're all hanging out with friends. (not that we drink alot at all but we'd celebrate birthdays, cooking out, watching football, etc.. With a beer or 5)
-I'm going to start eating healthier even if it tastes awful.

Well that's all the good news for today. :) Any tips? Share em! Don't forget to pray.

Pre prenatal multivitamin

So I've started taking women's One A Day prenatal pills that our friend gave me, she & my mother-in-law both recommended it seeing as how we're ttc (trying to conceive)..

Sunday I started my period. No big let down since we didn't decide that we were ttc until after I had already felt the period symptoms for this month. We already knew I want going to get pregnant this month.

I downloaded an app to help me try to chart my possible ovulation days. It's pretty hard to do though seeing as how my periods are sometimes irregular to begin with. I was told that the typical ovulation days were two weeks after my period...? We'll try it!

Saturday we told Curts family that we were trying, they were excited but nervous just like everyone else we've told. Completely understandable! I wouldn't expect any other reaction..

Tomorrow (Monday) I plan on contacting my dermatologist and seeing what she thinks about it. Even if she gives us an answer we don't wanna hear I doubt that will change much... I've proven doctors wrong my whole life! I know my body. It's all up to God. I sure hope he rules in our favor though! Haha.
Say a little prayer for us please 😊

Paranormal activity ain't got crap on us..

So a few weeks ago 3 dishes had fallen off of the dresser, entertainment center, and table beside the couch. All in one afternoon and all landed right side up. Nothing even spilled! Then the dishwasher stopped working for a few weeks, we called the manager to come look at it. He said he didn't know what was wrong with it but he'd get us a new one..  Then we we're getting ready to go somewhere, i was in the tub Curt was getting  ready in the bathroom with me. Then we heard a noise and the dish washer was on with soap in it! I joked and said "hell, if the 'ghost' is washing my dishes for me, let them!" Not thinking much of it. There has been a few nights Curt couldn't sleep  due to feeling like he's being watched.. I chalked that up as him being a scaredycat.

I've had awful nightmares but i didn't get too concerned with that either. Max randomly starts barking and growling at random places but especially in our laundry room. Keep in mind he's SUCH a sweet puppy but an excellent little protector.

Today we slept in.. Curt was up until 5 this morning unable to sleep. The dream catcher in the corner of our room was moving very quickly on its own. No fan or air was blowing on it.. Curt went to sonic to get food & placed a Bible under my pillow because that's what Curts grandparents told us to do to keep bad dreams from happening. The Bible that was under my pillow was from the laundry room.

Curt got back with food. He was in the living room eating and i was in bed. Max started barking and growling again more than ever, looking in our laundry room. I was very nervous and called Curt in. Curt looked in the utility room and noticed a mark specifically placed.

Also when we moved in we saw there was a crawlspace in the ceiling  that was glued & nailed shut. We talked to our apartment manager and we were told that it was the previous renters that done it and that we could undo it If we wanted.

After so much activity going on today, Curt decided it might be a good idea to see what was in there. I made him wait until after i took a bath and could be in there with him. Almost as soon as i got in the bath (Curt was in the bathroom with me talking) we heard a noise, the night stand drawer came open! He looked out of the bathroom and there were hand prints on the wall above the mirror. Almost greasy-like and pretty dark. Very noticeable! They were in an awkward position. Smaller than Curts hands. I could barely reach the area they were at, plus since my fingers don't stretch out all the way there's no way I done it! Also after Curt began to open the crawlspace and i made him quit, we later (right after we saw the prints above the mirror) noticed what looked like where fingers drug across the ceiling. Our ceilings are "popcorn painted" and have been that way since way before we moved in. I've studied that crawlspace many times wondering why it was sealed shut & I've NEVER seen the finger marks. Keep in mind before we moved in, the manager made us wait a week because they had to repaint and put new carpet in.. Plus every door had a hole in it. We've always known about the doors but we were never concerned about it until now. Then little things started happening, such as chords moved, etc. We called my best friend, Chelsea, to get get opinion. At this point I was in tears! She came over and completely agreed that something/someone was in there. I mean, how could you not!? We were seeing and hearing things! Everything was getting more 'in our face' with each passing minute. It was obvious whatever/whoever it was wanted to be noticed. Curt decided he'd open the crawlspace, against our better judgment. Nothing seemed to be up there thank goodness but the markings still aren't explained, neither are the noises. I could almost trick myself into blaming the neighbors for the sounds. As for the markings? No explanation! We aren't even staying at home tonight, we're staying at Chelseas! This all sounds bizarre and pretty crazy, I know! I've never gave "ghosts" two thoughts until now. I'm not talking about "ghosts" like Casper, Im talking more like spirits. If anyone has similar stories, please feel free to share or any advice!

Having a baby? Final decision!

As you probably know (if you watch our videos) having kids have been a constant subject in our house here lately.. We've talked ourself out of it countless numbers of times for a list of reasons. After praying & praying, thinking, talking, praying & thinking some more, we've finally made a final call.... We're gong to try to conceive a gorgeous little angel on our own- well with Gods help of course!

If something happens and we're just not meant to have a biological baby then we will definitely be adopting. We're gonna try like hell though! Lol.. Please pray hard for us; that we're emotionally strong enough to deal with the failed attempts, that everything will go smoothly and that everyone will be happy and healthy no matter what the outcome might be.

Side note: I also dipped my last dip of Grizzly tonight! If we're going to try to get pregnant I don't want to risk ANYTHING. Congratulations to meeeee! 😊

If anyone has any tips or tricks please let me know!
Twitter:StephOnliine

Happy update!

Who is out on their own? We are! Friday we paid the man for our apartment, Friday night the majority of our things were here lol. Safe to say we were excited!
I love it so far.. we live in a neighborhood that has a bad rep but I have my gun and  the apartment complex has been pretty dang good. Plus the manager and landlord are great!

Our new home is no more than 7 minutes away from Curts work. Her loves that. Yesterday he got of at 330, was stripped down to his undies, drinkin a beer and playin ps3 by 340. Lol nope, not exaggeratin! I live being alter too cook what I want, clean and everything having a place to go. I'm a happy camper! :)

Allergic?!

The medicine the doctor gave me seems to be making my skin worse.. I mean come on man! Can't a red girl catch a  break? (said in my ghetto voice) so we're going back to the antibiotics I was on first and time will only tell if that helps...

Also, never take a bath in %50/50 water and vinegar. My dermatologist recommended it... As much as I like her, she's obviously insane. Haha.. We tried it & it pretty much burned my skin, made it raw! Hurt like a son of a gun to say the least.. Needles to say, we'll stick to bleach and water to get the infection off. Burns muuuuuch less, if at all!

Id also like to say happy birthday to my gorgeous nephew! Since I'm so sick I can't make it to his birthday party which breaks my heart but I'm sure he won't mind too much since he has his uncle Curt :). He's a year  old! Well, will be Wednesday. I love him so much.

The picture of my arm is where it made my skin raw, others are my sweet nephew!

We're gonna be grown ups!

Recently, Curtis got a new job working for IBEW. His job site is an hour away from both our home towns so it only makes since to move closer since gas prices are kicking our butts. We spend about $400 to $600 a month just on gas! So we found a place 3 minutes away from his work so we're moving out on our own for the first time. Let me tell ya, I'M A NERVOUS WRECK! An hour away from both of our families makes for a terrified Steph! I'm super excited that we don't have to "house hop" anymore and we'll be able to hang our clothes up in the closet instead of living out of bags but I'm thinking the move will be bittersweet.

I haven't been on youtube in a while due to no computer access. I still film like crazy, I'm just not getting it online so I reckon filming so much is pointless. If you'd like to keep up with us, follow us here or on twitter. I also have an Instagram; TurnerWife101. You can follow me on there too! 

I got the results back on my culture and blood work. I had three different kinds of bacteria on my skin that was making me so sick, Staph, Strepp and something else that I can't spell or pronounce. They gave me two different types of antibiotics to take twice a day. Hopefully I'll be good as new before we know it! 

Other than that, theres not much to catch ya'll up on. Any questions? Contact me via twitter, leave a comment or email me at xxsturner@gmail.com! 

Thanks for reading!! :)

Stephs staph

Alright so Sunday night I started running fever and feeling like crap. Monday I woke up and my skin was hurting very bad and I had red circle-like spots in my inner thigh, legs and a few on my arm. Only on the places that were in pain... I sent pictures to my mom and she told nee to come home so she could "doctor me up"(haha), when Curt and I arrived at my mommas house it was bedtime so as I was getting ready for bed, I got undressed and black dots were covering 87% if my legs from top to feet.

My lower legs usually have thicker (pretty gross looking) skin that's much harder to get off than any other place. But never have I had anything like this. It also spread to my arms, stomach, back and nose on Tuesday.

Today (Wednesday) I woke up to my skin not hurting and the spots mostly faded besides on my legs. I went to the dermatologist this morning and they took
a culture in my skin using a Q-Tip. They also gave me a shot of Rocephin and I got blood taken. Lots of fun today, let me tell ya! My derm. said she thinks its staph, i'm pretty sure I agree with her.

Hopefully the antibiotics and the shot in the  butt does some good! Results should be back in atleast by the beginning if next week. I'll be sure to update! Thanks :)

Summertime

Since last weekend was memorial day weekend Curt, my family and I all went to the lake for the weekend.. Its always crazy going to the lake or going anywhere in public in the summer. Most girls tan all during summer, some over due it. I'm not one of them girls, since I definitely don't need a tan or even out in the sun too long.
Everyone out on the lake always assumes I've been stupidly severely sunburned. I get that on a daily bases but it obviously increases by a trillion in the summertime. Its safe to say I raise awareness by 25378646 in the summer. Haha!

Babies?

People are constantly asking us when we're gonna have kids since before we even got married. We're still very young but we're getting older and our friends, Co-workers and old classmates are popping out kids left and right, of course we feel pressured to have a baby! Don't get me wrong, we both want kids so bad its unreal but there are more steps we have to take before we even consider kids.
I've loved the idea of a baby since I was 15. No, I wasn't taking the necessary steps needed to have a baby nor did I physically want a child. However, I knew id be a great mom and I had so much love in my heart that I wanted to give to a precious baby. I also wanted the "needed to be needed" feelin. Luckily momma didn't raise no fool (haha) so I didn't do anything to put everything in action.
Curt is fantastic with kids! They love him and he loves them. No doubt in my mind that he'd be a terrific daddy...

We've talked about kids many many times. We also realize that since my skin doesn't stretch like the average persons, it'd be very painful, risky and maybe life threatening for me to carry a baby for 9 months. Plus my body does good just to keep itself healthy, muchless another human! To my knowledge there has never been a woman with harlequin ichthyosis have a baby... And as much as I love proving the doctors, science, statistics and sometimes even myself wrong, I'm not able to risk another humans health/life just because we want a baby.

It breaks my heart to know that I can't give my husband the one thing he wants more than anything in the world. It almost makes me feel like less if a woman.. I know Curt would never want me to put me or our unborn child in harms way. He's very understanding about everything of course, what else would you expect from the best husband ever? 

We're very much considering adoption. We checked out the criteria and everything so maybe one day we'll have our own little angel... Gonna do a little praying and money-saving and see how everything goes! For now, our little angel has four legs and devours food when I drop it. :) Ole Max!

Our move.

If you watch my YouTube videos you know that Curts family lives an hour away from mine... 2 Weeks ago we randomly up and moved to my hometown from his because its closer to his new job that he's starting tomorrow. He's recently got hired on in the Union (apprenticeship, electrician).. Well we lived with my grandparents while we were looking for an apartment, having a dog made it ten times harder! Last night at 11:00pm Curt decided it'd be better if we moved back to his town because..... Well, I think he was just homesick. So being the wonderful wife I am (haha), got out of bed, got Max loaded our junk up with the help up of Curt of course and headed an hour away back to his town... Don't get me wrong, I like both towns but id love if we could Getty our own place real soon so we would feel the need to "house-hop". Everyone had made us feel so welcome and at home but id love to have our own place instead of depending on our families. Thank God we're blessed with such amazing people in our life.

So now we're back to living with his parents. We're steadily looking for a house or apartment that allows pets but its harder than you might think. Keep in mind both towns are very small... We're not willing to give up Max right now, if ever. He's our baby! :) Wish us luck!

Meet the family..