Feathers/Scales

A few years ago scientists began to put together the idea that birds were descended from dinosaurs and when you look at baby birds, there seems to be a definite resemblance!

There are also similarities between feathers and scales.

My next warp (once the one I just put on the loom is done) again uses blue hues.  Somewhat reminiscent of peacock colours, I am using this 'scale' design and will be crossing the light/medium value blues/blue greens with that dark cotton that appears to have not aged well.  Not well enough to use as warp, at any rate.

It will serve just fine as weft for towels, and I think it will make a very nice textile. 

And that is what life is all about, too.  Compromises.  Plan Bs.  Accepting something less than 'perfect' when it is 'good enough'.

Yesterday the local Community Arts Council announces that it was not going to hold the biggest craft fair of the community.  I was disheartened that so many people were making really negative comments, saying they would never support the fair again.  They said they were going to boycott because they were 'supporting' the artists.  Um, how does boycotting next year's fair support the artists who will participate - when it is safe to do so?

Instead the CAC will work at holding an on-line event.  If they offer consignment sales for their members, I will participate that way.  The fibre arts guild will be exploring if it might be feasible to hold a sale in the guild room, as we usually do early in December.

Just because there is a pandemic doesn't mean we can't do things.  We are just going to have to do them in a different way.

I am just back from the cancer clinic where I had my blood draw.  I am now on tenterhooks until Monday when I get the results back.  I think, I hope, I am still in remission.  But I will know on Monday.  

Show #2, Day 1

Yesterday we arrived at the hall and got set up, heading home to deal with trick n treaters.  This morning we arrived in time to finish 'fluffing' the booth, turn the lights on, get the till ready and generally say hello to some of the other exhibitors with whom we are friendly.

Most of them are in our age bracket - or close enough - and all of them congratulated me on the upcoming retirement.  One said that the time is coming for her as well.

The booth directly across of us is a young man who works with metal making mostly wall plaques/art pieces.  Some of his things are made from recycled sawmill saw blades - about 3 feet in diameter.  While it wasn't too busy this afternoon I had a chance to chat with him.  He and his two helpers were so cheerful all day, it was refreshing. 

Doug and I tag teamed and I was able to spend some time in the guild booth and visit with guild members I have seen very little of since the conference.  It was also nice to see the work of the members, attractively set out.  Next year I will try not to inundate the booth with my stuff - who knows, maybe by then there won't be much left and it will only be new work?

I made a sign saying 'Farewell' and letting people know I'm not doing shows in my own name any more.  A couple people made the assumption that I would be going back to having weaving as a hobby again.  I explained that it's never been a hobby for me, but now it will be.  :)

Several people had no idea of my age and while expressing disappointment I won't have my own booth, understood why I was retiring.  Several mentioned that they had textiles that had to be easily 25+ years old that they still used daily, in some cases.  Most were astonished that I've been doing this show for 40 years - 1979-2019 - not a bad run!

Since it wasn't terribly busy for me, I even had a chance to visit with a few people - something I will miss.  But maybe I'll have more time to meet friends for coffee, or even attend guild drop ins/meeting/seminars!  What a concept!

The first show was two days, fairly short hours.  This one is three days, with somewhat longer hours.  Then we have a week to rest, drive to Calgary and do Art Market - four days with longer hours and a much bigger show.  It's all coming to an end.

And then close down the business and see what happens next.  It's an adventure!

The Learning Journey

Life, as they say, is a journey.  So is learning. 

As always one to think ahead, plan ahead, I'm beginning to think beyond the current crop of deadlines.

The next six months looks like this (for me)

Craft fair/vendor hall for the Hospital Auxilliary conference in April.  It won't be very busy most of the time so I'm thinking of what I can bring to work on/demo during the slow times.

May 6-10, level two in Tenino, WA.  One of the benefits of taking the Olds College program is that students are not confined to one campus.  You can take level one at Olds, for example, then move to another location for level two.

June will be pretty much taken up with conference.  Our guild has the stairwell at the public library for the month, so we can set up our display before the conference begins and take it down after the conference ends.

During the conference I will be wearing way too many hats, but that's pretty much standard.  Doug will man my booth in the vendor hall while I deal with conference stuff including presenting seminars and so on.

Still waiting to hear about Fibre Week at Olds College and if I will get to teach, but I'm holding the dates, just in case.

August 6-10 I'm booked to teach level two at Yadkinville, NC and 12-16 level one.

September I'm scheduled to do The Efficient Weaver at the John C Campbell Folk School.  I have no idea if anyone has registered for this class yet - I think, like the Olds classes, I need 8 to make it 'go'.

Once home from that it will be craft fair preparation all the way.  It's already March (tomorrow!), the AVL is waiting for repair parts, I'm setting up the Leclerc for more place mats, I need to do shawls because I'm out.  I was also surprised at how few tea towels I have in inventory when I last looked - my goal of stash/inventory reduction was apparently quite successful in 2018!  But that means I need to find my round tuit and get weaving...

Developing a Line

Since I am a production weaver, one of the things I do is work in series - or a 'line'. 

This is a photo of some of the table runners that I wove for the craft fairs last fall.  I wanted them to be thicker than towels so instead of 20 epi, which is what I use these yarns at to make towels, I increased the epi to 24.  A good example of making different qualities of cloth of exactly the same yarns by changing the density and the weave structure.

I began by deciding if I wanted the main focus of the table runner to be the centre, or along the sides.  In this case I chose the sides, so these stripes are repeated on the other selvedge and the middle is plain.

Using Fibonacci, I worked up a stripe sequence I felt was pleasing, fiddled with it, and then started working on the colours I would use.

In each case the variegated yarn was chosen first.  There are three sizes of stripes in the runners, one stripe an outline of two threads of a solid accent colour, and then the background another solid colour.

This is perhaps most visible in the two top runners - the very top one is less orange in real life and more of a 'rose'.  As it happens the variegated yarn is the same in the top two runners but with such a big difference in the main solid, the variegated stripes look quite different, especially once the weft crossed it.

In the upper runner the weft was a rose the same hue as the background.  In the peach runner, the weft is pretty much the same hue as the background.

The rose is darker in value than any of the colours in the variegated so the variegated yarn stands out more than in the peach because the value of the peach is much closer to the same value of the colours in the variegated which tends to subdue the variegated.

Most people would have to look very closely to see that the variegated yarns in those two runners are the same yarn.

I wound up weaving 10 different warps, all with different colours but all in the same stripe design.  

Engagement

This morning I commented on Facebook that one of the things I was bringing to the craft fair was my knitting.

Someone objected that craftspeople who want to sell their things must not do such things because they must engage with their customers.

Happens that I agree completely with that observation.

I always take a corner position (when ever possible) and set up so that there is good flow through traffic.  My textiles need to be hung up as much as possible.  I always have a mirror so that potential customers can see how a scarf/shawl will look, worn.

I try very hard to say 'good morning' or 'hello' at the very least, pointing out the mirror for try-ons or volunteering the information that the place mats and tea towels are machine wash and dry.

But I am an introvert.  Engaging with so many people all day long, in noisy, sometimes crowded venues?  Is very wearing on me.  It sucks the energy right out of me.  And then the times when it's so quiet that people are not even coming into the booth I get very anxious.

Over the years I have found that if I just bring my knitting bag with me - even though I may never actually touch the knitting - my anxiety is much less.  I might only knit while I am on a break.  I might pull it out and knit during the first or last hour of the show because I'm usually buried in the back of the hall and it takes about an hour for people to walk through the show and get to me.

Even if I do succumb to the knitting, I never bring anything complicated, nothing that I can't put down mid-row, nothing that I have to count for decreases or yarn overs.  The kind of knitting I bring to a show is straight knitting aka garter stitch.  If I can keep my hands busy fidgeting with needles and yarn, I can focus on the task at hand instead of wishing I were anywhere but there.  And I can easily lift my eyes and say hello - and keep on knitting.

I also do not sit in an 'ordinary' chair.  We keep a tall stool that we perch on.  This allows us to take the weight off our feet but still remain close to eye level.

So while I agree wholeheartedly with the admonition to engage with the customers?  I also know how to sooth my nerves while I do so.

Ultimately, until my textiles are sold, the job isn't done.

Details

The colour of these shawls is more green than grey but apparently my ipad didn't 'read' it that way.

When I fringe twist, I don't hemstitch on the loom.  I just weave in 'waste' yarn to keep things in place until I can get the twisting done.

After wet finishing, I then trim the frayed bit off to make the fringe look neater.  The untrimmed fringe is above, the trimmed below.

Doug got a lot of pressing done yesterday so today I'm trying to 'finish' as many things as I can because he needs to start packing the inventory up into shipping boxes for transport to our first show - Artisans of the North at UNBC Oct. 27/28.  The following weekend will be Studio Fair Nov. 2, 3, 4.  Both of those shows are here at home.  We then have a week to prepare for the show in Calgary - Art Market, Nov. 15-18.  The 'final' show of the year will be the guild room sale.  This is where I will deeply discount end-of-line designs, 'seconds', as well as offer some current work at 'regular' price.

In between Calgary and the guild room sale I will head off to visit with my editor to do the final line edits, make sure everything is as 'perfect' as we can make it and then - deep breath - push publish.

Once I'm home from that trip I have promised to weave some more samples for Tien Chiu's on line class 

In the meantime work on the conference continues.  We are still looking at opening registration sometime in January.  

Work Flow

My dining room this morning.

Foreground - last of the green shawls being fringe twisted.
On chair - shawls ready for wet finishing.
In bucket - four shawls to be fringe twisted.
On bucket - stack of table runners needing to have their tags attached and pricing affixed.

What is just out of sight on the blue chair is a stack of knitted shawls that need to be blocked.

Waiting in the wings - my chequebook to be reconciled to my bank statement, stack of bills waiting for cheques to be written.  Then a trip to the bank to pay them.

In the studio - well, lots more, because I'm still trying to weave more for craft fairs.  But also a box of homework to be packed up and mailed.  And, oh yeah, mark to be submitted to the college - next on my list, I guess.

One of the reasons I keep track of how long it takes me to do tasks is so that I can allocate my time in order to get everything done that needs doing.

The creation of textiles is labour intensive.  It takes time.  Lots of it.  Right now I only have so much energy so I have to conserve what energy I do have in order to focus on the things that require being done on a priority basis.

Weaving (designing, preparing warps, dressing the loom, actual shuttle throwing) is just the first in a long list of steps.

Dry finishing.  In the case of shawls and scarves, fringe twisting.

Wet finishing.  Getting things through the washer/dryer (or done by hand, as appropriate).  Then further dry finishing such as hemming.  And then a 'final' press.  For the twisted fringes, a final trimming of the fringes.

Last but certainly not least, tagging with legally appropriate cleaning instructions and fibre content.  And pricing.

I work in batches because once I have my work station set up it's just a whole lot easier to get all of that bit done before I clear the decks for the next task.  So this morning I finished fringe twisting the green shawls, then cleared the table so I can deal with banking.

The end of September marks the end of the third financial quarter of the year.  I have to report any GST (goods and services tax) collected and paid out.  I also need to review my finances because I have been carrying debt (travel and show fees) and need to make sure I can pay the current crop of bills. But in order to report the GST I have to finish entering my financial records into my ledger, balance it and figure out the figures to submit.  Not my favourite job.

So I keep track of what needs doing and try to keep the work flow logical.  And timely.

Dates on a Calendar

I keep two planning calendars - one for this year, one for next - to record events and remind myself of deadlines.

Even though I am cutting back on teaching by no longer accepting guild workshops, it seems I still manage to fill my calendar with dates.  These are just the potential teaching events coming up that I know about.  Of course they all depend on getting sufficient students to 'go'.

Olds Master weaving level 2 and 3 in Cape Breton in May, the conference here in June, for which I'm scheduled to do three seminars (in addition to the organizational duties of co-chairing - which ought to be pretty much over and done with prior to the event - one most fervently hopes), Olds level one (I haven't been asked yet, but I'm reserving the dates in case) and John C. Campbell again in September.

In addition to that I have craft fairs in October and November - how many and where are yet to be decided.  I'm old enough now that I tend to reserve that decision until after this year's shows.

Technically I have Jan-April for production for next years shows.  Which really doesn't leave me a lot of time to do much in the way of designing new lines.  So I expect that I will extend the current line of scarves I've been working on, maybe come up with a new kitchen towel design, finish the tea towel warp on the AVL and do another (mostly) natural white warp in order to use up the cottolin (already have that pretty much designed - another Snail's Trails and Cat's Paws to sell at the ANWG conference where I will also have a booth - and thank you to Doug for manning it).

I have come up with a shawl design which I may crunch today even though I have six more scarf warps already wound.  I am 'out' of shawls and really ought to have some to offer.

Today I need to write a 1200 word article for publication.  It has a really tight deadline and I need to find my words rather quickly or I'll miss it.  And it's for a magazine I haven't written for in quite a long while - plus they have agreed to mention The Upcoming Book.  It's an opportunity I don't want to fumble.

But my body is three hours out of sync and I'm feeling tired.  So the first thing I am going to do is carry all my studio stuff down to the studio.  And maybe just beam a scarf warp onto the Leclerc Fanny.  Because that really doesn't take a lot of thinking

Currently reading - oh the book is in another room - author is Dana Cameron.  A 'light' mystery that is just about the right degree of engagement.  I'll look for other of her titles.  Seems she also writes urban fantasy type books, too.

New Normal

It feels like my 'normal' for the past 10 years is trying to weave down my stash.  So what's new about that?

Well, my energy levels, for one thing.  One of the adverse effects of the cancer drug is to feel tired.  Even on the lowest possible dose I feel tired all day long and this summer has seen me struggling to overcome that feeling and carry on anyway.

The good news is that the fatigue brain fog is gone, and now that I'm well into the new scarf design, the colour combination possibilities just keep coming.  I currently have six warps wound waiting to go into the loom and ideas for at least another dozen.  I just happen to be out of time right now to do much because I leave tomorrow for a two week trip.

While I am very happy to get out of here and hopefully away from the smoke, it is with a pang as I leave these unwoven warps to await my return.  (Yes, I have packed one wound warp and yarn to wind another - because where I am going there are looms and one of them has my name on it.)

:)

One of the ways I am finding to cope with the Tired is to try let go of my expectations based on my old 'normal'.  My body is not well and in order to stick around I have to take this drug with all its adverse effects.  As usual, if there are 10 adverse effects, I will have 7 of them - to a greater or lesser degree. 

I have also been dealing with the stress and emotional reaction to writing a book, smoke allergy and conference planning.  The fact that I am getting anything done in the studio at all needs to be seen as great progress, not as a failure on my part because I'm not able to weave 3+ hours every day anymore.

So I post here a photo of two of the cones that have been emptied - one yesterday, one this morning.

Every journey begins with a single step.  Every cone emptied is a step in the right direction.  Because it is all progress.  And accepting that this is my new 'normal' - for now at least - means I don't beat myself up because I cannot do what I could, even five years ago, even three years ago.

Currently reading A Tale of Three Cities by Bettany Hughes.  I don't have time to finish it so I may have to request it from the library again once I'm done all this traveling!

Warps in Waiting

Earlier today I wove a couple of tea towels, but as much as I would like to get that warp finished, I am also getting concerned about my other craft fair inventory.  I'm very low on scarves, and since I have boxes and boxes of various kinds of rayon in my stash, I switched to winding warps.

Now, when I say I have boxes and boxes, that doesn't mean I have a lot of choices for colour.  In fact I have depth of stock in a limited range of colours.  Since I'm wanting to have as large a range of options for customers to choose from, I'm winding warps just long enough for two scarves, changing the colour options in each warp.

For some of the warps I will use two different wefts in order to increase the options even further.

People come to a craft fair to get unique items, not see dozens of the same thing in the display, so even though I'm making the same quality of cloth, it's a good thing to have a wide range of colour combinations for them to choose from.

Since stash reduction is a priority, I'm forcing myself to work with what I have on hand.  This also forces me to be a lot bolder in the combinations I put together.  And that is also A Good Thing.

Will I like any of these scarves, personally?  Not necessarily.  They just have to be appealing and look good generally.  But as it happens, most of what I have left are 'my' colours.  So I'm taking the opportunity to play with how they go together. 

But time is running out, quickly.  I leave on the 27th for TN/NC, back on the 8th, then leave again for a week after (our) Thanksgiving, coming home to the first craft fair of the season.

The goal is to have as many of these scarves ready as I can possibly get ready. 

Fingers crossed!  Because I also have about 8 hours of conference planning to do and shifts at the fall fair this weekend.  And we have been in the smoke plume from the wildfires throughout the province for a week.  It's getting more and more difficult to keep going.  

Two By Two

When it is feasible, I wind warps holding two threads. Winding two ends at a time means winding goes twice as quickly as winding one at a time.  I prefer a 2 x 2 cross, especially when the yarns are textured, as in this warp.  Textured yarns may tend to grab onto their neighbours and this can sometimes cause problems during beaming.

This warp is two different yarns, both rayon, both 'wobbly', both textured, one more than the other.

When winding a warp with a 2 x 2 cross, the ends must be kept together.  If the loop is separated, this will prevent the cross from being transferred.

With this warp at 16 epi, wound two at a time, I am using a four dent reed putting four ends per dent.  If the warp was wider (this is a 'short' reed, plenty long enough for the 12" wide warp) and I had to use the longer 8 dent reed I would still put four ends per dent, but would then leave an empty one in order to achieve the spacing needed for the cloth.

During threading I will be random in how they go into the heddles.  I find this gives a more interesting look to the cloth as the threads do not alternate, but sometimes the ends might be side by side, or alternate. 

The only thing I do with this yarn is make sure the end in the outside heddle at the selvedge is the less textured of the two yarns because that one is stronger than the more textured one.

This warp is another prototype warp.  I will wind up with two scarves that I will weave with two different wefts.  After wet finishing I will choose which weft I will put into production.  While I'm pretty sure I know which one will be the 'best' weft, I won't know for sure until I get the scarves woven and wet finished.

Sometimes you do need to do a 'full size' sample.

Plus I need to weave down my stash, so I'm trying really hard to only work from my stash!

After the Party...

...comes the clean up.  And the return to reality...

In one way writing The Book was a trip down memory lane as we mined my sample collections for textiles to serve as illustrations for the weave structures I chose to write about.  Partly it was an exercise in a certain level of anguish - what to include, what to cut?  With the stated aim of not trying to write a 'how to weave' book but a 'how to weave better' book, I didn't really want to repeat everything Mary Black wrote about in her tome. 

What I wanted to do was explain some of the whys that don't get discussed as well as some of the background information that isn't usually included in most 'learning to weave' presentations.  So my approach was to say "here is what I do - choose what might work for you".

It was also a way to share my designing thought processes, which I did for one of the projects.  I didn't want to flog the horse (so to speak) but just share some of the back and forth thinking that I do in terms of designing a textile for a particular purpose.  As the purpose changes, so does the thinking about the various considerations.

In the heat of the moment, boxes and bins were opened and turned out with samples being selected or rejected as we felt suited the purpose. 

Now I'm left with heaps and piles of samples that need to go back into their appropriate bin/box.  Which means sorting through them all again to make sure they go back into their proper place.  Mainly so that I can find them again, next time they might be needed.

Today is being particularly challenging because on top of continuing to deal with the adverse drug effects, the emotional let down of completing (my part of) a rather large project that took way longer than it should have, but was delayed due to health issues, we are also facing an invasion of wildfire smoke that is getting, quite frankly, awful.  Others have had it worse for longer, so I am trying very hard to be thankful it has taken this long to get this bad, but my allergies are kicking up a fuss and I feel wrung out for a number of reasons.

Not to mention knowing very well that not everyone will be pleased with what I've done.  I just hope that all those people who say they can't wait will not be disappointed.  But that anxiety isn't unique to me - it's true for pretty much every person who has ever set pen to paper (fingers to keyboard).

However, a firm publication date has been chosen.  I have booked a flight to visit with Ruth the end of November where we will go through the ms one last time looking for typos, things left out (we cut a bunch of stuff as being available elsewhere), make sure the last few additions go into the ms gracefully. 

What is left?  Final photo edits and the insertion of the new photos into the ms replacing the old and in some cases slightly blurry, ones.  Drafts to illustrate some weave structures.  Project notes for several projects. Two more contributions by friends to be received and processed.  Final text edits that we didn't get to, because photos were the priority - Ruth can do text edits at home but had to do the photos here.  A cover needs to be designed.  The ISBNs for the different formats have been applied for and then included (usually on the back of the title page with the rest of the publishing info).  A friend has agreed to write an introduction and three people have been approached to consider writing cover blurbs.  So they have to have copies when the ms is closer to 'complete' so they can review the ms fairly, then write their blurb (if they feel comfortable doing one).

So - while we are at 95% completion, there is still quite a lot left to do.  Considering I am now into the sixth year of trying to get this book 'born', another three months is basically 'not much'.  But that last 5% is absolutely necessary.

However, with the purchase of my flights there and back, and a 'firm' publication deadline, I can now look at what is next on my job list.

In no particular order:  workshop drafts/yarns to be prepared and mailed for the workshop in October.  Craft fair production.  Continuing to develop new textiles - if not in time for this year's craft fair season, next.  Get ready to leave on the 27th for TN and NC.

Oh yeah.  And clean up the studio so I can actually do those things.

Another Trip Round the Sun.

Celebrating another trip round the sun by...dressing the loom again.  :)

As I have been reflective about my weaving, I have also been reflective about my life. 

Over the years I have made mistakes - and hopefully learned from them.

I have tried my darndest to think about the end result of decisions that I make - both in weaving and in life.  Sometimes I'm right.  Sometimes I'm not.

With each journey around the sun it becomes more and more apparent that our time here on this orb is limited.  I don't really want to spend whatever time I have left on doing things that don't - in some way - enrich me and others.  And by that I'm not just talking about money, but on a more personal level.

I like to surround myself with people who are positive, who see a problem and immediately move to try and fix it.  I want to have people around me who can laugh and see the silliness of the things we do.  Who look for silver linings.

Not to say I don't sometimes fall into a funk - but the people in my life generally allow me my funk while not allowing me to wallow in it.  They remind me of the rainbows that come along with the silver linings hidden amidst the clouds.

Over the past few months my health issues have been a daily challenge.  Right now most of my problems are a matter of comfort, nothing dire.  But with an aging body, comfort becomes much more important.

A little while ago I made the decision to stop accepting guild workshop/program dates.  Today I had to review that decision and then send an email saying 'no'. 

But it was good to reflect on that decision, review the reasons why I'd made it, and find that all of those reasons were still valid.

That doesn't mean that I won't change my mind in the future.  But I'm no spring chicken anymore.  My energy is limited and I need to be a lot more cautious in 'spending' what energy I have.  It takes me longer to recover from stress - and traveling to teach is nothing if not stressful.

Right now I have three major 'projects' I am working on - The Book, The Conference, The Craft Fair Season.

Regarding The Book - I hired a book editor to help me 'birth' the thing, plus I asked some of my friends if they would contribute book projects.  Both of these things have made it possible for me to stay on the goal of getting the book finished - hopefully by the end of the year.

Regarding The Conference - I have a small but dedicated group here working hard on getting the details sorted.  We meet with the Civic Centre again tomorrow.  I believe we have a small but excellent group of instructors booked and a venue that is user friendly - all within a very small geographical footprint.

Regarding The Craft Fair Season - this year we will do just three shows, this time with a gap between show #2 and 3, which will give me time to rest and recover before heading off to Calgary and Art Market.

As for the Olds program, I'm hoping the homework from the four classes I taught this year will start showing up by January.  By then the conference should be mostly dealt with and registration - scheduled to begin sometime in January - should flow smoothly through the hosting web site.  With so much conference preparation able to be done via the internet, I'm hoping that the administrivia will be minimal.  In any case, I've got a volunteer who will help with the organization of the information and mind the registration booth.

No one knows how long they have here.  I believe that we should make the most of the time we have.  Focus on what brings us joy and eliminate what doesn't.

I still want to teach, but today I confirmed once again that I would rather focus on teaching the Olds curriculum because it most closely aligns with what I feel is important for people to know.  And why I am once again trying to set what I know down in the format of a book. 

Musings

My life has been a roller coaster for more years than I care to think about.  Being a self-employed weaver in the 20th and 21st centuries is...challenging.  Then, for the past 10 years, add in serious, potentially life ending health issues (my allergies and whiplash injuries are not exactly life ending, just annoying), well, there has been plenty for me to muse on lately.

See, being self-employed means a whole lot of things.  Working to deadline.  Bringing in and paying for materials long before you ever see the income from using them up from making fabric to sell.  Accepting commissions and sometimes not delivering what the client wants.  Or making a terminal error because you are rushing, don't stop to think, mess up.

Like I did, recently.  (Yeah, still not perfect.)

My new medication is helping to keep me alive, but at a cost.  Fortunately the adverse effects aren't horrible, just annoying (see comment about allergies/whiplash above).  But one of the things it does is make me feel tired.

I don't have the fatigue brain fog any more - just this low grade feeling of never being able to get enough sleep to feel refreshed.

As some people with chronic illness say - my supply of daily spoons is limited - and I run out long before I'm used to.

I am going to exit my 7th decade in just over two years (I should have said 'exit', not 'enter' in a recent post).  When I chose to weave I thought I would production weave and sell my textiles for the first 25 years, which would take me to 50, then teach for the next 25 years, which would take me to 75.  Well, I'm damn close to that second number now. 

I am thinking I am well beyond 50 and yet, here I am, still weaving for production, schlepping boxes of textiles to craft fairs.  People I know have been retired for over 10 years.  And here I am, still working to deadline, juggling dates, commitments, scrambling to get things done.

As my energy drains out of me at the end of the day (like now) 'retirement' - at least from the production aspect of weaving - seems more and more attractive.  But I have this stash.

So now, I'm thinking that if I concentrate and work with intent on getting my stash woven down, that 2020 seems like a good year to end doing out of town shows.  This year I'm only doing one out of town, the other two are local.  So I will probably carry on doing the local ones - if only to sell down my inventory and reduce that aspect of my stash, too.

It is beginning to feel as though it is time to start winding up the selling textiles part of my career.  I do still enjoy the teaching, but now I am focusing more and more on the Olds program. 

Today I finished the run of silk scarves I wove for the fall sales.  I have some silk set aside for a project for The Intentional Weaver.  I may get that into the loom next.  Technically I only need about 7 projects to illustrate the weave structures I'm including, but knowing me I will want to do variations to show how to manipulate the weave structure to create different designs.  There are also several people who have offered to design and weave projects for me.  Realistically I probably will do, oh, 12?  Myself? 

Given how fast I am, that isn't even a whole lot of work.

I have made arrangements for my editor to come in July to deal with the photographs so I'm going to try really hard to get those 12 things woven over the next 3.5 months, in between marking homework and teaching classes.

Which doesn't leave a whole lot of time for production.  So I may be a wee bit thin on the inventory part of the craft fair shows.  But I am going to try to use my spoons wisely and balance my energy so that I can get everything I want done accomplished.

Because I can never seem to dream small dreams...

Retirement

This year my high school graduating class is having a 50th year reunion.

I have mixed feelings about this. 

I was never in the 'in' crowd at school.  I suppose I might have been considered a bit of a nerd.  I actually liked school - for the most part.  I enjoyed reading.  I did my homework.  Usually at the last minute because I've always worked best to deadline. 

The other day I talked to some people in my graduating class and when asked if I would be attending the reunion I said that I might be out of town.  And was met with a rather disparaging, negative comment.  I turned to the person and told him that it would depend because I might be out of town.  "Because I am still working after all".

As a self-employed person for the past 40 mumble years, I have not accrued wealth - or at least not in terms of money - nor a comfortable pension plan.  I get whatever the federal government gives anybody in Canada.  But it's every month, and I have a level of financial security I have not had for too many years to count.

I turn 68 this year.  Many of my peers have been 'retired' for several years.  But why should I retire from something I love to do?  So long as I am physically able, I see no reason to 'retire'.

Or do I?

The past 10 years have been...difficult.  My health has suffered.  I have just come off a year plus episode of cancer related fatigue.  I find it more and more difficult to get up and get going like I used to be able to do.

I run out of steam.

Is this what aging is?  Is this what getting 'old' is?  Is this why people 'retire'?  That they just get...tired?

The craft fair circuit is physically demanding.  The market for hand made goods is changing.  Faith Popcorn predicted it way back in the 1990's - that people are saturated with 'things' and that as the baby boomers aged, they would not be buying material goods but small, consumable luxuries.

Vendors at craft fairs are increasingly selling food or other consumables - like personal care products.  They have enough place mats.  Enough scarves.  Enough pottery.  Art for their walls.  They buy chocolate.  Spices.  Pre-mixed soup makings.  Soap.

This year I will do two craft fairs here in Prince George and instead of Vancouver, I've applied to do the large show in Calgary, Art Market.  I took a sabbatical from that show for two years and feel it might be time to try it again.  Plus I would have a week between the 2nd show here and going to Calgary, to rest after two back to back shows.

Because I don't have the energy I had.  I need to be sensible about my health.  And I need to think about where I want to spend what energy I do have.

So I am not looking at teaching for guilds much anymore.  I am putting my energy into other venues.  On line teaching - perhaps - if it works out (and why I may be out of town in August.)  The Olds program.  Finishing The Intentional Weaver.

I have no children.  My branch of the family tree ends here when I do.  But my ego wants to leave something of me behind.  My textiles will return to dust.  But perhaps some of my knowledge will live on...

Certain Values of 'Finished'

With a craft as densely layered as weaving, there are many stages along the way to 'finish'.

Not only do I weave, I spin and knit.  (I also very occasionally make lace, but that's another story entirely.)

In order to keep myself motivated on the long journey from fluff to fabric, I count 'finishing' stages as a way to measure progress.

Today was a catch up kind of day.  Since lunch I've cleared some clutter off the floor because I have a floor cleaning elf coming.  She needs to be able to see it before she can clean it!

A niece was asking for donations and since I have a bunch of hand spun, hand knitted shawls on hand, it was obviously time to wet finish and block them.  So five of those got dealt with and are now on the floor (on plastic) drying.

The five skeins of yarn that had been plyed were also wet finished.

I worked on the article for Handwoven.  I've still got almost 3 yards of warp left.  Am I done?  Or do I weave off the rest?  Hmm.

Just finished rough sleying a mat warp and needed to change out of my heavy shirt into a t-shirt or I was going to start feeling awfully warm.  The way I beam I can work up a sweat, even in the winter, even wearing a t-shirt.

So each time I 'finish' a stage in the process I have a little happy dance inside, knowing that I'm that much closer to the ultimate in 'completion'.  OTOH, until the items are sold, I'm really not done, done.  But that is a stage too far in the future to think about on a January afternoon...

Cycles

Day one of a new calendar year. The cycle repeats.  

I am already well into production for the new year.  As soon as I got home from Vancouver I started winding warps for place mats. And weaving them.  And winding more.  These are currently in the queue for weaving, while some have already been wet finished and hemmed, more are ready for the water.  

In between a couple of special commissions took some time. 

And of course, the holiday season, although with just the two of us, we never do very much.  Just another potential work day. 

The other thing I have been dealing with is crushing fatigue due to a return of the lymphoma.  After talking to the oncologist and weighing options I will try one of the new targeted drugs.  Knowing someone who is already taking it has given me hope that this blip in my health will be a minor inconvenience, not a major upheaval.  

I have a few deadlines in January, a trip to meet with a book editor and then in February I will focus on my health again, with lab work, consultations, and hopefully approval to start the new drug. 

We live in amazing times with new cancer treatments coming along to help people live their lives.  To make (some) cancer a blip.  Thank you to the researchers, doctors and drug companies working on this puzzling, challenging disease.  

Here We Go...Again

Yesterday was set up day for the other local show we do - Studio Fair.

I have been doing this show, first as a volunteer, then as an independent crafts person for a very long time.  I've watched it grow into the higher end show it now is, attracting artisans from across the country.  I've been here almost every year it has been in business, watched others - and myself - evolve through the decades.

We have refined my booth structure and display as what I make has changed.  Most of it fits on a cart other than a few 'odd' items - like the tall stool and some metal display stands.  Usually while Doug loads the cart I start hand carrying the odd ball items to the booth.

And then we start setting up the booth apparatus, including the lights.

Studio Fair is a 'low light' show but even before it was I always had my own lights.  Because the quality of light in such large halls is pretty terrible, which would shift my colours into something...not very attractive.  I needed my own lighting to wash out the overhead lights so that people could see how my textiles actually looked instead of how they looked under the hall lights.

So this photo shows Doug just after he has arrived with the loaded cart.  A couple of boxes are already on the floor - the cart is usually piled high with display stuff as well as the many boxes of product.

It all fits into the back of our 'mini' van with the seats out in the back.

Now it's down to whether or not enough people are interested in my designs, willing to pay my prices.

Sunday we tear down and pack everything up into the back of the van.  Monday morning, as soon as we can possibly hit the road, we head for Vancouver to do the Circle Craft Christmas Market.

Where we will do this all over again...

One Down, Two...

The first show of my craft fair season is done and dusted.  I have a few days 'off' to try and tame this cold - because man, I feel miserable!  Thank goodness Doug doesn't mind selling.  I pretty much sat in the background and let him deal with it.

The photo is of a traditional design called Snails' Trails and Cat's Paws.  All of these are gone now, but I'm revisiting the design in some soft muted blue/greens.  I intend to get them done as soon as I get home from Vancouver, mid-November.  If I can get them down quickly enough they will go into my 'shop'  on the Circle Craft website.

My shop is 'closed' for business right now, but as soon as I can get unpacked from the Circcle Craft Christmas Market, it will be open.  There will mostly be tea towels, mainly because that is what I have the most of, in terms of inventory.  I may list rayon chenille scarves, too.  Mostly it will depend if I can get photos that are remotely close to the colours in the scarves.

Tomorrow I am going to stay home.  I may (or may not) wind place mat warps.  I doubt I will feel up to weaving on the AVL, although I had hoped to finish the blue weft tea towels, maybe even start on the green cottolin weft. 

But all of that will have to wait and see how tired and miserable this cold is making me.

Satisfied

Yesterday Doug loaded the van with most of the stuff for the coming craft fairs.  There are still a few things left to go in, including the cart we use to transfer all the boxes from van to booth location.

This weekend will be the Artisans of the North at the University.  We once again have a spot in the Doug Little room which is just off the Winter Garden (and Tim Horton's - but I digress).

I'm low on shawls, although I think this one is still available.  It's been a while since I sorted through the stacks and stacks of textiles.  But I know I have very few shawls left.  Never did make it to putting a shawl warp on.

Because it isn't just the weaving of them.  There there's the fringe twisting.  Then the wet finishing.  Then trimming the fuzzy bits off the ends of the fringe to make them look tidy.  Then tagging.

And I just didn't have the time or energy it would take to even think about getting more finished in time.  So, I didn't even try.

Instead I put another tea towel warp onto the AVL while getting a couple more white place mat warps woven.  Yesterday I finished hemming the mats and now I'm working on the table runners I got woven over the summer.  

So even though I'm disappointed I couldn't manage more shawls I am satisfied I did the best I could given how this year started - with mom dying and all that that entailed to get her life wrapped up, then teaching, then all the dental work I needed.  But the dental work is now finished (until next time) and once my mouth settles down I should be able to chew on both sides of my mouth.  Which should help my TMJ - chewing only on one side of my mouth was causing issues with stressing my jaw.

And on and on it goes. 

As Bette Davis supposedly said - getting old is not for sissies!

If I have the time and energy once we return from Vancouver I will update my on line shop via the Circle Craft website and have a 'sale' before Christmas.  Stay tuned.

Currently reading Glass Houses by Louise Penny