Dirty, Disgusting, Filthy, Flea-Ridden Birds

A pigeon is flying around my office. We are on the top floor of a large building and we can't figure out how in the hell the thing got in here. The ceilings are high and pipes are everywhere so this disgusting rodent with wings must think it has found some sort of Disney World. If it shits on my keyboard I'm going to kill it with my stapler.
Ssshhhhh.... it's watching me. This feels very "quote the raven" I can't stand birds.