Happy Independence Day!

Hey, everybody! The asshats around me are starting to fire off their rockets in the middle of the fire season. Isn't that CUTE? Will we be forced to flee our homes at some ungodly hour, in our pajamas, cats tucked under each arm?

Tune in tomorrow, same time same place, assuming we fucking survive.

Don't you hate that shit? Boom, boom, boom. I guess the people enjoying this stuff have never lived around, you know, actual guns and bombs going off and people getting all shredded and stuff. Because lemme tellya, ever after, your shoulder blades twitch when you hear that noise. I'm expecting shrapnel fragments.

No, I'm not. The neighbours are idiots, but more in a non-malign, stupid, poleaxed, well-meaning, friendly, idiotic sort of way than actual redneck goobers who run around trying to kill people and other living things. They'll burn all our houses down around our ears, then fling themselves on our shoulders and sob about the loss. Dumbfucks.

So Mitt Romney's big fundraiser in London was held by disgraced and recently-resigned Robert Diamond, former head of Barclay's Bank? Do the teabaggers not see any irony whatsoever in the would-be president of the former colonies going to the Mother Country to raise funds from the SAME FUCKING PEOPLE the first Americans fought against to establish this nation? Where are the cries of corruption and foreign interference when Mitt Romney courts the British banking establishment, on fucking INDEPENDENCE DAY? Where are the cries when the biggest contributor to the Republican party is a guy who makes money off whorehouses in China?

Meanwhile, over at the ongoing Republican War On Women Headquarters, we're reliably informed that yon lout in that pitcher up there, one NY State Senator Marty Golden, is finally ready for the onslaught of the 15th century. Someone please tell him it's actually the 21st.

Because this benighted son of a poop-eating bottom-feeder is proposing to WOW the LayDeez of his constituency by teaching them the fine art of "feminine presence." I have no idea what this fucking "feminine presence" is. Is it another term for poontang?

Mind you, this asshole is one of those guys who think the Fair Pay Act doesn't even deserve a hearing, and votes against increasing the minimum wage or giving the Nice Laydeez some fucking maternity leave or elder care leave, paid, so they can do their OTHER fulltime job as well.

But wouldn't you know the Feminazis got to him, and he has now canceled all those nice classes, boo hoo. No word if he's considering any bills that might actually help low-paid women, but at least he's not gonna make taxpayers cough up to teach people how to climb fucking stairs for chrisake.

And that fucking sack of fermenting poop, @RepJoeWalsh, is actually attacking the military service of a woman who lost two legs and an arm rescuing her mates in the Iraq war. Please feel free to contact his office and tell him to go suck dick. Well, no. Be polite. Just because he's an asshole is no reason for anyone else to act that way.

I can't believe this worthless fucking putz. He wouldn't pay to keep his children fed, clothed, and housed. I mean this guy owes $200,000 in child support, and his kids had to go on welfare at one point. That's TAXPAYER MONEY that he shoud have been paying. He went to court to fight his duty to pay for the children he fathered. He would rather run up lawyers' bills than feed his own kids.

And he wants to take care of his constituents? A man who can't take care of his own fucking children can't take care of anyone else. Don't be fooled, peeps. This guy NEEDS TO LOSE his election. He's a swine who won't even pay his own children's bills.

Enough, I'm done ranting. Here's your Libertarian/Republican paradise, all you assholes. You can just suck it, srsly.

Alright, alright, I've been a beast. Here, listen to some terrific music and get ready to spread 'em for the bankers. Geez.

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Ron Paul Just WHAT?

 Sweet Lawdy Jebus. It looks as if Lepry Kon Ron Paul just won the Iowa AND the Minnesota primaries. All that wah-wah about RMONEY winning after spending bazillions of dollars worth of the loot he looted from Bain and his Wall Street buddies looted from, I dunno, starving infants everywhere in the world? All bushwah. The eight votes that cost RMONEY a million bucks a piece? Vanished into the ether. Either Paul WON, or he's as close as makes no never mind.

And just think, Mittens spent Tagg, Tigg, Togg, Tick, and Tock's inheritance to buy those lousy eight votes and STILL didn't make it.

Pardon me while I laugh my fucking ass off. This is just too rich. Go, Paulians!

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Don't Forget To Give Thanks!

OK, this has to be an act of genius:



Really. Thank Fuck you very much, teabaggage.

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Sing Along With Me, Children

Sweet mother of GAWD, the Republican lineup for the 2012 elections is getting worse by the minute. I'm afraid to laugh as hard as I want to in case I piss myself.

Then along came Ms. Mollybean1 and posted SadnMad's delightful little ditty that sums the motherfuckers up pretty accurately, don'tyathink?



I mean, Christ, look at this pack of dimbulb stooges! The President can just phone it in at this rate, yes?

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Is It Just MEEEEEE?

Or are the protestors in WI drowning out the Witch of Wasilla?



Something like 6,500 people showed up in WI today. Why? Skanky Wailin'Failin'Bailin' Palin was giving a word-salad speech. AP (worthless corporate cocksucking shills that they are) claims that "hundreds" of te@b@gging Kochroaches showed up, and were met by "hundreds" of union supporters. But, if you look at this clip, it's pretty obvious that "hundreds" of teabaggers might have showed up but they were completely and totally outnumbered by THOUSANDS of union supporters. Who managed to shout Skanky's speech down. Go, WISCONSIN! Show us how DEMOCRACY'S DONE!

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What The FUCK Is Happening To This Country?

Unbelievable. Glenn Blech has just attacked a volunteer debate moderator from the League of Women voters.

What is it with these people? Fucking everybody is fair game? What are these fuckers up to? Ever since the day our President was sworn into office, Glenn Blech, Flush Rimbowl, and Pox Noose have been attacking him, and those of us who support him, despite the fact that 65,182,692 of us voted for him.

If you didn't want to click the linky, these are the linked incidents:

• FL gunman shoots exchange students;
  
• List of far-right politicians inciting violence;
  
• Murder of the Holocaust Museum guard;
  
• Murder of Dr. George Tiller;
  
• "Dirty bomb" materials found in RWNJ's home;
  
• TN skinheads arrested for plot to murder President Obama;
  
• Assault on WA activist Christie Stordeur;
  
• Assault on KY activist Lauren Valle;
  
• Arrest of a Democratic voter at a session for Eric Cantor;
  
• Intimidation of elderly black voters in TX;
  
• Attempted voter intimidation by teabaggers in TX;
  
• Reports of teabagger targeting of minority voters for harrassment coming out of many states.

There's lots more, not covered here. In OH, a McDonald's franchisee sent his employees a flyer telling them that if the Republicans win, they can expect bonuses and raises. Otherwise, fugaddeboudit. And, face it folks. This 24/7 demonization of anyone who isn't a fucking rightwing nutjob has gone too far.

It's one thing to attack your political opponents. But when you start attacking the fucking majority of your fellow-Americans because they voted for a black man in the White House, you are going TOO goddamned fucking far. For eight years, y'all told us, "Suck it up. Your side lost. Deal. You're either for us or agin' us. America — love it or leave it."

When does it get to be your turn to fucking suck it up? Y'all lost TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO, and all we've heard since then is threats, abuse, and promises of violence. And Pox Noose is at the heart of it all, spreading a seething discontent by feeding the fantasies of the worst of the worst. All along, y'all have been able to claim that none of you instigated this violence, this assault on the Constitutional liberties of the people. But now, stuff like this starts happening all over the place right around the elections, and it becomes clear to the rest of us who aren't stark barking mad, as the denizens of the TeaParty (what party? They're not registered as a party) appear to be.

Srsly. I don't want people who look or think like these pignorant dorks in charge of the country. Do YOU?

Raw Story commenter Sue Wilson says:

It's time to realize that Glenn Beck has 14 million radio listeners compared to 2 million Fox viewers. Radio airwaves are publicly owned, and we the people can and must demand accountability from broadcasters. Early next year, I am launching a project to empower communities to challenge stations' licenses. Why? Read here: http://retwt.me/1PsNH How? http://retwt.me/1PkA I need your help. I need specific instances of inciting violence on the radio. Not hate speech, our lawyers say it has to be inciting violence. I need date, time, host name, station call letters, and most importantly - audio. You get me these, I will challenge the stations' license. We the People are Taking the Media Back!

Sounds like a wonderful idea. When do we start?

If you like what Sue Wilson has to say, you can follow her on Twitter at @sueblueswilson.

And get your ass out there bright and early tomorrow and FUCKING VOTE. Unless you really want pignorant acephalic swine making the laws that will affect you and your children for the next 4-10 years.

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What YOU Can Do To Make The Elections Better

In case you didn't already know it, ABC has invited Andrew NotSoBrightBart to give a live election analysis on Tuesday.

Yes, that Andrew NotSoBrightBart. The one who characterizes himself as "Matt Drudge's bitch."

The one who peddled an edited video of Shirley Sherrod that resulted in a wave of wingnut hysteria, with addled teabaggers calling their radio and TV stations to express their horror and outrage that a black woman whose father and uncle had been murdered by white men, once experienced a certain prejudice towards white people. (Of course, they edited out the evidence that she had overcome that prejudice and remains a lifelong friend of the white people in question, who are still very grateful to her for her efforts on their behalf.)

So, if all those incidents in NotSoBrightBart's past bother you — you know, like James O'Keefe pretending he dressed up as a pimp taking Hannah Giles dressed as his ho' to destroy ACORN, an organization that represented poor people and helped them resolve housing disputes and exercise their voting rights — or whipping up race hatred against Shirley Sherrod; or trying to illegally tap the phone of a sitting US Senator; or attempting to set a reporter up for something closer to rape than seduction; you might, you know, want to let ABC know that rewarding a known serial prevaricator and provocateur, and fanning the flames of sectionalism and antipathy right around the elections is, like, not nice at all. And you will kick their fucking asses to the curb. Politely, of course.

Please contact ABC News and voice your opinion:
ABC News
147 Columbus Ave., New York, NY 10023
Phone: 212-456-7777

General e-mail: netaudr@abc.com

Here is a link to Disney Corporate feedback form:

http://cor­porate.dis­ney.go.com­/responsib­ility/feed­back.html

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Arizona Racist? You Decide

OK, remember when the State of Arizona and its Queen of Prunes, Jan Brewer, passed SB 1070? That hideous piece of legislation that basically criminalizes all brown people who might cross the State borders or dwell therein? And Jan Brewer even dragged Scary Failin' away from her special-needs child to come help whitewash the law?



Less than a month after that, Brewer signed into law HB 2281, which will ban ethnic studies in that benighted state. No more Native American history classes for the half-million Native Americans living in Arizona. No more Mexican history classes for the 2.x million American citizen Latinos who comprise one-third of the state's population.

Meanwhile, the state has begun targeting teachers "with heavy accents." The state has not specified which accents it finds unacceptable. However, the fact that Latinos are being audited, and white teachers are not, makes one go "Hmmm."

Given that during the 1990s, Arizona hired native Spanish speakers from Latin American nations for its bilingual-education program, one can't help but wonder what the difference is between those apparently well-qualified yet accented speakers then and now.

The year George Bush was elected, Arizona voters passed an English-only bill, and bilingual teachers switched to English-medium classes. Those teachers have, apparently, been teaching their students just fine for two decades. But what a coincidence! Now that SB 1070 is law, their performance has miraculously degraded in a mere matter of weeks to an unacceptable level. These teachers will be "reassigned" (to what? If their accent is deemed to be incomprehensible to their students, what purpose is served by reassigning them, and where will they go? And if it is not incomprehensible, what purpose is served by such reassignment?) or fired. Of course, the fact that Arizona is facing a dire shortage of teachers is not even mentioned. Does that rate another "Hmm"? Hell fuckin' yeah. In fact the number of "Hmms" these actions have, and should, cause has us all here sounding like fucking hummingbirds.

Together, the Latino and Native American population of Arizona comprise approximately half the total population. And that, apparently, has some Bush cronies really worried. Apparently, Arizona racists like Russell Pearce, AZ state senator who thinks Latinos breed like bunnies, is hoping that by creating this legislation he will force undocumented migrant workers out of the state, and bugger all the documented American citizens who end up thrown in jail or out of the country because they don't have their papers on them.

And before y'all get all self-righteous on us with "That would never happen, the law says no racial profiling," go read these here links and then make up your mind.

Let me tell you just how bad things are right now: Some fucking witless bunch of teabaggin' ball-slurpers in fucking Ohio has announced a contest. Winners are invited to spend a week in Arizona "chasing aliens," and are reminded to "bring their green cards" with them.



This is why we all need to protest whenever shit like this happens, people. The idiot who dreamed up this incredibly insulting racist shit got his quantity of assholes increased by several as irate citizens contacted his radio station. The station manager has since apologized for this piece of shit (who has yet to offer his own fucking apology, by the way). So keep it up. You might not think you're being heard, and you might not think that you make a difference. But you are, and you do.

Without your calls and emails and letters, these fuckers would just have carried on being the fucking fuckety fucked fuckacious assholes that they've always been and will always be. At least now they know we're listening and if they don't want multiple rectal orifices, they'll quit spewing shit out of them.

Mind you, this is far from over. Just this month, artists painting a mural at a school in Prescott were told by the principal to lighten the skin colour of the pupils that they painted in the mural to a lily shade of white. Excuse me, what the FUCK? WHAT? These are actual real fucking live fucking children who attend this fucking school, the mural is part of revitalizing the downtown area, funded by a private organization and depicts the actual fucking children for christ's fucking sake!



How crazy fucking insane do you have to be to insist that black and brown children who attend this school be depicted as white? FTA:

City Councilman Steve Blair spearheaded a public campaign on his talk show at Prescott radio station KYCA-AM (1490) to remove the mural.

In a broadcast last month, according to the Daily Courier in Prescott, Blair mistakenly complained that the most prominent child in the painting is African-American, saying: "To depict the biggest picture on the building as a Black person, I would have to ask the question: Why?"

You would, you fat wrinkled rapidly aging bigot. Jesus. Holy quacking duckshit! What kind of people are these. It never occurred to me (or to any of you, I'll bet) to ask the question "Why" someone decided to paint a black face in a mural. Of course, the principal is now claiming this was simply a question of art, not actually whitening the children. Yeah, right. Just like your fucking laws aren't racist, Arizona.

You'll be happy to hear that the parents and teachers love the mural as it is. Upon questioning, the principal admitted that he had received a whole three complaints about the mural. As for those miserable fucks who drove by to scream epithets like "Nigger" and "Spic" at the kids who were helping on the mural, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves, but you're troglodytes, so you aren't. Fortunately, there's not as many of you as you thought. You pigs. Oh, wait, that's a terrible insult to pigs which are actually very nice animals.

At any rate, a big thank you to those of you who complained. Steve Blair has been fired from the radio show. Your right to free speech has not been infringed, Mr. Blair. You're free to get on your soapbox in the local park anytime and yell your hate speech. You're not free to use the public airwaves to felch the haters though. So fuck you very much, and may you live the rest of your life in a bitter oblivion, you anal afterbirth.

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OK, What-All's in the Water Down South?

Anybody know?

Because, yaknow, we here at La Casa de Los Gatos are having some serious problem understanding what the fuck is going on.

ICHC

Let's start with last week's little fiasco. A math teacher in Jefferson County, Alabama apparently decided the best way to teach his students about geometry was to give them a hypothetical about the correct angle to use when attempting to assassinate the President of the United States.

President of the United States in the Oval Office

Excuse me, what the fuck?

They finally put the sum'bitch on leave, but I'm willing to bet it was paid leave. And it took them forever to do it. Apparently the only reason the school put him on leave at all was because they were flooded with irate calls from all over the country. However, you'll be relieved to hear that the Secret Service did pay the little asshole a visit, which probably gave him diarrhoea for a week or two. Here's hoping it left teh burn of overuse and chilli dogs on his hemorrhoids. Fecking eejit. The school has not released his name. Wonder why? For those of you who care, his name is Gregory Harrison, and he teaches, or taught, at Corner High School.

So kudos to those of you who called. Until you did, the school was going to "have a conversation" with him. Probly along the lines of "Don't say stuff like that again in public, dood."

Martin Luther King's Assassination

Now, back when the Bouchebag Gee, Dumb? Yeah! was in charge, this is how teachers who did anything similar were treated:

Steve White, a science teacher at West Limestone High School near Athens, Alabama, was fired in 2006 after showing a film clip to his class in which President George W. Bush, members of his staff, and conservative personalities were referred to as "a–holes."

Incidentally, White was a Democratic candidate for the Alabama House of Representatives at the time. Imagine that, fired for telling the truth! I mean, how many people on this planet would disagree with the conclusion that conservative personalities are assholes? Geez, perhaps they're not. Perhaps they're GIANT MAJOR FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS SYPHILITIC ASSHOLES! There, I feel better already.

OK, it might look like I'm pickin' on poor ol' 'Bama, what with that story about the right Reverend or whatever you call those Baptist preachers, you know, that guy Aldridge with the two wetsuits and a condom-covered dildo stuck up his ass; followed by that darling little story about the homophobic, anti-sex-toy Attorney General of the State being busted by his wife schtupping his GAYGAYGAYGAYGAY male aide in the marital bed.

But, trust me on this, we're equal opportunity oppressors at mi Casa, just like Dear Old Mum. Catholic, as it were, in our hatreds. In fact, our next story takes place in Lumpkin County, Georgia.

I know. WTF were those dumb lumps thinking when they named the fecking place?

In the event, another fucking high-school teacher in that god-forsaken place apparently decided it was cool for her high-school advanced placement students to study racism by filming themselves cavorting around in — you guessed it, Ku Klux Klan costumes.

http://badgals-radio.com/

Except she didn't mention this little fact to anyone else in the school.

Imagine the surprise of the black and brown kids in the school who are sitting there eating their lunch when in come a bunch of assholes in Klan sheets with pointy hoods. Excuse me, Catherine Ariemma, what the fuck were you thinking? So far so bad, but here's where things take a turn for the abso-fucking worst.

The Klan-costumed kids start taunting the black kids and end up by inviting one of the black kids to join them in re-enacting a lynching.

Lynching

We leave it to you to determine what part the black kid would have played.

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Politics: OUR Free Speech Is More Important

than YOUR free speech.



And here we have the Teabagger, Obstreperous albus, in all its native glory — where glory equals ignorance, of course.

Obviously, not a single one of these yobs pays taxes. If they did, they would have noticed, while filling in the forms, that they're getting shitloads of money back from the government.

They don't want taxes, but they want a strong defense. They're protesting high taxes but they don't want to cut teachers' salaries. How do they think such things are paid for? Do they have the first fucking clue?

Readers, these are rhetorical questions. This video clip proves that they do not think, and they do not have the first fucking clue, either. Nor even the twenty-five-hundredth.

Kudos to NewLeft Media for this fine YouTube production.

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Politics: Freedom of Speech Is Important

... ONLY if we're the ones practicing it.

Photo from Rick Kaempfer's fine blog

Is anybody surprised? Teabaggers are only pro-free speech when it's their free speech at stake.

Your free speech? Hey, fuck you very much. And fuck your free speech too. In fact, if we don't like what you're saying, we reserve the right to call your employer and make such a fuss that they fire you.

The Huffington Post is reporting that firing was the fate of the unfortunate D.C. Douglas, an actor who does voice-overs for Geico. Well, did. Thanks to his call to the FreeDUMBWorks astroturf pseudo-TP (that's Tea Party for those who had their minds someplace grubbier), Mr. Douglas has been fired by Geico.

Well, Geico, you could — and should — have handled this much better. I know I won't be doing business with you ever again if I can avoid it.

If you feel the same way about this ridiculous foofaraw, please feel free to call Freedom works (yeah, right, for whom?) toll-free at 1.888.564.6273.



Update: Mr. Douglas is requesting that people do NOT contact Geico, with whom he says he has an amicable relationship. Therefore, I am removing the contact information for them. Even if I still think they could have handled this better.

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