Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Sunday, December 25, 2011
A Birthday Card For Jesus
The Fire of Christ burst into Keegan McFly's breast last night and impelled him to create this glorious message of peace to share with cartoonists and lesser folk everywhere.Merry Christmas!
(thanks to Keegan, Christ, Zeus, Zoroaster, Jehova, Buddha, Clampett, Allah and the rest of the pantheon of immortals)
Saturday, December 25, 2010
YULETIDE GREETINGS
I hope you have a warm wonderful holiday with lots of presents, turkey and cartoons.Your pal,
John
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Christmas Solutions
OK, folks here is my prototype for a new kind of online store. Click the damn thing and enjoy the fun.
WARNING: There is background music, so if you are in a quiet place turn down your volume first....
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Kali's Xmas Wishes
May God bless all cartoonists with Kali's talent.
May Santa bring the gift of tongue to every tree.
and leave a vintage dusty old Knickerbocker toy in his own used sock for every child who craves love from the inanimate denzions of the earth.
Blessed be even the bipolar of all nations, genders and social strata.
Grant a downy coat of cuteness to all torturers of the weak
Frame every child with a balance of warmth and discipline.
May we all get along in peace, harmony and mutual tolerance.
Let us all believe in a variety of lesser Gods and decorate pagan rites with graven images of them.
Let all hippies be spray painted green and pray for a second eye to be found under all his hair.
Oh and lastly, may every marker that runs out of color halfway through a picture be damned to eternal and everlasting torments.
May Santa bring the gift of tongue to every tree.
and leave a vintage dusty old Knickerbocker toy in his own used sock for every child who craves love from the inanimate denzions of the earth.
Blessed be even the bipolar of all nations, genders and social strata.
Grant a downy coat of cuteness to all torturers of the weak
Frame every child with a balance of warmth and discipline.
May we all get along in peace, harmony and mutual tolerance.
Let us all believe in a variety of lesser Gods and decorate pagan rites with graven images of them.
Let all hippies be spray painted green and pray for a second eye to be found under all his hair.
Oh and lastly, may every marker that runs out of color halfway through a picture be damned to eternal and everlasting torments.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas
Here's hoping all you curmudgeons have a wonderful Christmas!
If you're lucky, maybe you'll get a nice doll in your stocking like this.
Thanks to Frank for the lovely photos.
We open on a stage with the curtains closed. "PONTIAC PLAYHOUSE" is printed on the curtains:
Narrator: "AND NOW, FROM HOLLYWOOD..."
Warmth From The Pontiac Cast
This’ll be a sincere thank you to the George Liquor audience and a wish for happiness in the coming year for everyone who believes in the American Way and 32 miles to the gallon.
Narrator: "IT'S THE MAN OF THE HOUR, GEORGE LIQUOR HIMSELF!"
The audience applauds wildly.
George: LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE PONTIAC PLAYERS!
The curtains open to reveal...
Characters in front of curtain
George, Jimmy, Sody, Slab ‘N’ Ernie, Mabel’s Butt, Donald Bastard and Cigarettes the Cat are standing in front of the curtains on the stage.
They are wearing Christmas stuff.
The Pontiac Vibe is on a tall pedestal in the background. It is bedecked with Christmas ornamentation. Santa is tied to it.
The sponsor stands there with the gang - in a suit, wearing gold rings and smoking a huge cigar. His thumbs are under his lapels and he is beaming with pride.
George: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE AT PONTIAC, WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OUR SHOW ON THE INTERNETS EVERY WEEK.
There is a Christmas Tree
Let’s have a week of peace
George is sweating from putting on such an energetic show.
George does a preamble:
“Listen up here, will ya? I got sumpin' important to say.
This is the season of peace for all mankind. Peace, love and mutual understanding. Let’s all set aside our Goddamn differences and put down our guns for a week. Deal?"
Cut to a cave. Inside are a moose squirrel, raccoon, duck and cockroach watching Pontiac Playhouse on a big computer monitor.
They all breathe a sigh of relief.
George: "Next week we can all go back to killing each other….and I got a list!”
George wishes Audience a Merry Xmas
“So on behalf of our wunerfull sponsor, Pontiac’ Vibe, we’d all like to wish you a Merry Christmas!”
Lawyer Ruins Christmas - Donald Bastard to the rescue
A corporate Lawyer slithers in and whispers to George....
Lawyer: “You can’t say that any more! You have to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so we don’t offend non-Christians!”
George is Outraged, starts screaming at the lawyer
George: "Whattaya mean we can't say Goddamn Merry Christmas anymore? What country do ya think we're in???"
Donald Bastard bites the lawyer on the butt and tears off a piece of fabric.
The cigar chomping sponsor spits out a chunk of cigar and comes between George and the lawyer. He calms them down and suggests a compromise.
Sponsor: "Tell you what, as long as you cover everyone's holidays you can say Merry Christmas."
We pan down the group of characters as each one wishes a happy holiday to a different ethnic group.
Sody: Merry Kwanza!
Donald Bastard: Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Ernie: Jolly Bullies week!
Jimmy : Hug a retard!
Slab: Joyous Suicide Bombers!
The lawyer: Happy Devil Worshippers, folks!
we fade out on ridiculous greetings as we pan up and over to the Pontiac Vibe gleaming with holiday spirit.
Or if you're even luckier...
Thanks to Frank for the lovely photos.
HOW CHRISTMAS COULD HAVE BEEN
Ep09-Good Cheer From Pontiac
We open on a stage with the curtains closed. "PONTIAC PLAYHOUSE" is printed on the curtains:Narrator: "AND NOW, FROM HOLLYWOOD..."
Warmth From The Pontiac Cast
This’ll be a sincere thank you to the George Liquor audience and a wish for happiness in the coming year for everyone who believes in the American Way and 32 miles to the gallon.
Narrator: "IT'S THE MAN OF THE HOUR, GEORGE LIQUOR HIMSELF!"
The audience applauds wildly.
George: LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE PONTIAC PLAYERS!The curtains open to reveal...
Characters in front of curtain
George, Jimmy, Sody, Slab ‘N’ Ernie, Mabel’s Butt, Donald Bastard and Cigarettes the Cat are standing in front of the curtains on the stage.
They are wearing Christmas stuff.
The Pontiac Vibe is on a tall pedestal in the background. It is bedecked with Christmas ornamentation. Santa is tied to it.
The sponsor stands there with the gang - in a suit, wearing gold rings and smoking a huge cigar. His thumbs are under his lapels and he is beaming with pride.
George: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE AT PONTIAC, WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OUR SHOW ON THE INTERNETS EVERY WEEK.
There is a Christmas Tree
Let’s have a week of peace
George is sweating from putting on such an energetic show.
George does a preamble:
“Listen up here, will ya? I got sumpin' important to say.
This is the season of peace for all mankind. Peace, love and mutual understanding. Let’s all set aside our Goddamn differences and put down our guns for a week. Deal?"
Cut to a cave. Inside are a moose squirrel, raccoon, duck and cockroach watching Pontiac Playhouse on a big computer monitor.
They all breathe a sigh of relief.George: "Next week we can all go back to killing each other….and I got a list!”
George wishes Audience a Merry Xmas
“So on behalf of our wunerfull sponsor, Pontiac’ Vibe, we’d all like to wish you a Merry Christmas!”
Lawyer Ruins Christmas - Donald Bastard to the rescue
A corporate Lawyer slithers in and whispers to George....
Lawyer: “You can’t say that any more! You have to say ‘Happy Holidays’ so we don’t offend non-Christians!”
George is Outraged, starts screaming at the lawyer
George: "Whattaya mean we can't say Goddamn Merry Christmas anymore? What country do ya think we're in???"
Donald Bastard bites the lawyer on the butt and tears off a piece of fabric.
The cigar chomping sponsor spits out a chunk of cigar and comes between George and the lawyer. He calms them down and suggests a compromise.
Sponsor: "Tell you what, as long as you cover everyone's holidays you can say Merry Christmas."
We pan down the group of characters as each one wishes a happy holiday to a different ethnic group.
Sody: Merry Kwanza!
Donald Bastard: Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Ernie: Jolly Bullies week!
Jimmy : Hug a retard!
Slab: Joyous Suicide Bombers!
The lawyer: Happy Devil Worshippers, folks!
we fade out on ridiculous greetings as we pan up and over to the Pontiac Vibe gleaming with holiday spirit.
Merry Christmas to the troops!
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