Annika's First Date (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Annika Hansen

As this is my first date in the real world, after being in the computer generated one, it;s quite an event. However, Reg Barclay is a rather neurotic type. We are in Ten Forward, about to have our first drink, but Reg is having difficulty getting Guinan's attention to order it after she greeted us initially.

"GUINAN!!" I shout at the top of my voice; everybody looks round and the El-Aurian comes to us.



"Sorry I was a little late in getting to you." she whispers quietly, "Can you keep it down a little?"

"When we get a little better service!" I snap back. Actually, I'm amazed at my response, as I would never say something like that to anyone. I wonder if some of Seven's agression has come through on to me.

Guinan slams the drinks on our table.



"Annika!" blushes Reg, "You'll get us t-thrown out of Ten Forward!"

"A little better service would have been appreciated." I tell him, as I knock back my drink in one go. "Come on, let's go."

The two of them go to my quarters, where I serve him a beautiful drink. Reg is looking around, feeling rather nervous.

"L-look." Reg starts to say, "T-this is a beautiful drink, b'but I don't t-think I can....

I go and change into a flimsy outfit and sit on the sofa. Reg looks quite panic stricken.



"Sit with me, Reg." I quietly say,then I hear myself saying "Resistance is..."

"....Futile!" he adds, "You're Seven, not Annika!". He runs out faster than as if he were going to be assimilated by the Borg Collective.

"Seven!" I say, "You promised you were going to stay quiet."

"So I was." my other self replies, "But you were just using your body to get what you want. I had to stop that"

"If you don't let me have time to myself, you won't get it either." I remind her. Seven grumbles.

"Very well." she answers. "I shall stay quiet. You can go and get Reg Barclay back."

"I don't think I'll get him back, Seven." I answer, "He was neurotic enough as he was!"

Annika's First Date (Part One)

Guest Poster: Annika Hansen

Tonight is a big night for me; I'm going on my first ever date.

While it's not exactly my first date, it is in the real universe. I had lovers in the computer-generated Unimatrix Zero. Now I am free from that, I can live a comparatively normal life, although I still have to share it with my other consciousness Seven of Nine. However, as she thinks that romance is irrelevant, she has agreed to stay quiet throughout our date.

As I was told he was still unmarried, I asked Reginald Barclay if he would like to go out with me. This resulted in a lot of stutters before he accepted. Deanna Troi warned me that he has this nervous habit.

We decide to meet in Ten Forward, where we are going to have a drink on our date. I see him sitting down.



"Hello Reg." I say cheerily, "I'm looking forward to our date."

Reg looks shocked, and eyes my body from top to toe.



"You look s-sensational, Annika!" Reg nervously stutters, "Errr.... it IS Annika isn't it, and not t-the other one?"

"It's Annika." I assure him, "Seven won't be making an appearance tonight. She's not too interested in my romantic life."

"T-that's good." he tells me, "I always found her rather intimidating."

"I know what you mean." I answer, although I'm anxious not to annoy Seven and make her appear, "Let's talk about you and me instead." I suggest."

"W-why did a beautiful woman want to go with me?" Reg asks, "I mean you could have any m-man."

"Thank you, Reg." I smile, "That's a lovely thing to say. In fact it was at Deanna's recommendation. She said although you can be a little nervous at times, you are a very good and decent person."

I stretch out my hand and hold his. Reg looks panic-stricken.

"L-lets order a drink." he hurriedly says, and gestures towards Guinan to come on over and get our order.

I might have to have chat with Deanna later on about her date recommendation!

To be continued.....

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Four)

The Party is going well, with us now into Day Four...

Shiara is here in a beautiful red dress..



The Changeling Of Christmas

I was invited by my boyfriend HS to a Christmas Party on board the Enterprise...
It was amazing... Especially the Sands Nightclub...

We danced and had fun... While resting our feet I meet a couple. One of which was a Shapeshifter... His name was Odo...

First we asked about each others physiology and then we just began talking about shapeshifting...

He demonstrated some of the things he could become...

"Tarkalean Hawk..." He said and then change...

Because he is liquid he changes faster than me... To become the Hawk I have to use my muscles to retract some of my bones... but I soon then become the bird...

"Try this... A Vorchan from Centauri." I turned into the predator...

He then Mimicked.... Then he turned into a pig thing.... "What is that I exclaim.."

"A Klingon Targ" said Lt Worf...

I then tried and we continued... Then Odo turned into something I couldn't mist...

He changed back to his Humanoid form.. "What is wrong.."

"I can not change in that... Only animals and then I can only go so small... " I smile

"Well how big can you go?" He asked...

I laughed, "Pretty big... I am a Dragon... "

We had a little laugh and then I returned to dancing with HS, one last dance outside under a holographic moon...
We looked up at the sound of bells and magically mistletoe appeared...

"Galen.." I sighed and then we heard a giggle and saw a little woman wiggle her HI-NI and say...

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

We then kissed...

It was a perfect evening... I woke up the next morning to find my master, Galen had not returned from the Party...

---------------------

Here is Ciera who was with Fluke Starbucker on Day Two.



"Sweet," I exclaim as I view the text invitation that arrived on my cellphone. I missed last year Christmas party on the Enterprise as I was still busy contemplating murder of the ex-boyfriend who had broken my heart, but I wasn't about to miss it this year! Leaving the confines of the tiny room in which I work, making sure the newspaper of the early 21st Century gets to press on time. Finding my favorite pressman Kirk (yes, you read that right), I find myself at a loss for words.

He adjusts his glasses as he looks at me and says, "What?"

Like an idiot, I thrust out my cellphone and show him the invite. "It says I can take a guest... want to come?"

"I don't know," he replied. "How're we gonna get thee?"

"I'll call up Fluke Starbucker and he'll shuttle us there...it's an awful short trip, time travel wise, and we'll have lots of fun."

"Well...ok."

So...fast forward shall we to that night? Cellphone/communicator slipped in my elegant handbag...a light purple with diamond accents that matches my glittering purple gown with thin straps instead of sleeves, I adjust my up-swept hair, excited at the prospect of dancing the night away with Kirk. As I knock on his door, chilly beneath my white lace wrap that is more holes than anything else, my cell chirps and I answer it.

"Hey babe, taxi's here..." comes Fluke Starbucker's almost insolent voice. "You ready?"

"Almost."

I can almost hear him roll his eyeballs at me. "You're not still doing your makeup are you?"

"No, I'm waiting for him to answer the door!"

"Oh, well why didn't you say so!" I hear a few clicks. "My sensors show that he's going to answer the door...now."

The door opens. Kirk is wearing jeans and a t-shirt and has a day's growth of stubble on his chin. While I absolutely love this look on him, I know that this look would not go over well at the Sands nightclub. Vic would kill me, and might just have Worf toss the two of us out.

"Uhm," says I.

"Wow," Kirk says. He looks me up and down appreciatively.

"Wow?" I reply.

"Can we go now?" asks Fluke over my cell.

"You were supposed to dress up," I manage to tell Kirk. "You didn't forget did you?"

"That's tonight? No, I hadn't forgot, but..."

"Fluke," I say into my cell. "You got any spare tuxes in your closet?"

"Weeellll......I happen to be wearing mine as I'm gonna crash the party. You're not getting away with just having me be the taxi this year," he scolds. "But I think there might be some old ones in Sprok's."

"Ok, beam us up. We'll..."

Words were lost as the transporter beam grabbed us (the look of surprise on Kirk's face was priceless).

There was no Sprok to greet us. Concerned I led my dazed date to the bridge and asked Fluke, "Where's Sprok?"

"Sprok?! Sprok!! Sprok?!?!?!? Why is it that is all people can ask me?!?! No 'Hey, been missing ya Starbucker'...no 'nice to see you'...just 'Where's Sprok?'" Fluke pounds his panel as he screams.

"Look, if you don't know, just say so!" I reply.

Fluke yells insanely.

"Is he ok?" Kirk asks.

"I don't really know. Fluke, just get us there, ok?" We leave him pounding at the controls angrily and, a touch insanely I might add, and wander back into the ship. I open every door that is open-able to try and find Sprok's old room. Some rooms...well, let's just say that it's been a while since some of them have seen the light of the overhead lights! I'll spare you the needless details of getting Kirk ready, but we finally found a tux that fit him, and shiny black shoes...though I decided to leave the stubble on his face. What can I say...it's 'shexy'!

Beaming onto the Enterprise, we [all three of us} are greeted by an ensign whose name escapes me. They're all disposable and expendable, so I guess it doesn't really matter.

"If you will follow me..." the ensign says, looking confused at the guest list before him.

Along the way, Kirk slips his hand in mind. I smile, thinking he's being romantic, but he shrugs and says, "I don't want to get lost."

He looks serious...but I never can tell when that man is joking.

Inside the holodeck, things are already hopping. No doubt Fluke's tantrum set us back some and made us fashionably late. Vic is on stage, singing "Home for Christmas" which was a little out of character for the period, but it was Christmas so who really cared? I was a bit perturbed at missing the first dance, as the Captain always lets me have the first dance with him. Actually, now that I think about it...I vaguely remember showing up last year for the first dance, slamming back a couple of Romulan Ale's...and remember nothing else.

Shaking it off, I loop my arm through Kirk's and I peruse the room as we make our way in deeper to the Holodeck. Nearly everybody is here...Riker and Deanna are off dancing in a corner, him nibbling on her ear while she glares across the room at Worf and Jadzia who were having drinks. Data was attempting to dance with Jennifer, but she kept stepping on his toes...a sight that was amusing to say the least. I couldn't spot anyone else for the crowd, so I turned to Kirk..."Do you want to dance or have a drink first?"

He shrugged.

I hate it when he does that!

"Excuse me," came the pleasant voice of the Captain. "Lt. Commander Ciera...I missed you for the first dance."

"Fluke was having some sort of tantrum kind," I explained. "He's upset because he can't remember where he misplaced Sprok."

"Well, given the size of this crowd, he just might find him." Picard looks at my date. "I see you brought a guest."

"Yes, Jean-Luc this is Kirk..."

"Did somebody say my name?" slurs a slightly inebriated Captain James T. Kirk as he approaches us.

"Uhm, no," I replied, wondering which time circuit he had flown in on. "I was introducing my date to Jean-Luc."

"I'm not your date," Cpt. Kirk replied. Then he looked at me. "But we could change that."

"No, I'm happy with..."

Cpt. Kirk looks at my Kirk and says..."Who're you?"

"Kirk."

"No - that's my name. No need to get cocky, sprout!" Cpt. Kirk draws himself up. "I was commanding starships before you're grandpa..."

"Ah, Jim...he's from the early 21 century," I interrupt before he could finish his tirade. "He was printing newspapers before your grandpa was a twinkle in your grandfather's grandfather's eye!"

"Don't you start too," Cpt. Kirk says. "You're pretty but you're only an ensign, Lt."

"What?" I look to Picard for help, but he's too busy hiding his laughter.

"What do you do, Twerp?" Cpt. Kirk asks my Kirk. "What department do you serve in?"

"I'm a pressman," my Kirk answer, looking irritated. Uh-oh. I know that look. That's the look he gets when the paper on the press comes undone. I hope he doesn't start swearing.

"A what?" Cpt. Kirk rolled his eyes.

My Kirk refuses to answer.

"I don't know who you are, but you're a poor imitation of me." Cpt. Kirk took another swallow of his drink and turns to me. "Why don't you come with me and we'll find something better to do?"

"Uhm, no." I say decisively.

"Suit yourself." He hiccuped and walked away. "People have no idea who I am anymore...young upstarts..."

As his muttering fades away, I turn to Picard. "You were a lot of help!"

Still giggling, Picard says, "He arrived early and was already like that."

"As I was saying, Jean-Luc...this is Kirk. Kirk this is Captain Jean-Luc Picard."



The two men shake hands. "Kirk," Picard says. "Do you mind if I steal your date for the rest of this dance?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Just give her back." Kirk looks around. "I'm gonna go get a drink." He smiles at me and wanders off.

"Stay away from the Romulan Ale," I warn. He waves at me. I sigh. "He has such a nice smile," I say to Picard.

"Quite." Picard hold out his hand and soon we are dancing to a highly spirited version of "Jingle Bells". "So, you do remember last year's party."

"Not really...it's a little fuzzy," I reply in between breaths.

"I don't doubt it...after the Romulan Ale, you started in on the Fuzzy Navels."

"Oh Lord...please tell me that's a drink and not the name of the band last year!"

Picard laughed pleasantly. "It's a drink."

"Good."

The music ended, thankfully before I passed out! "Thank you for the dance, Jean-Luc."

"Anytime, Ciera. Now, go find your date, some mistletoe and I'll see if I can't get Vic to sing some slow songs."

"And I'm sure you'll be finding Bev for that as well," I say with a cheeky smile.

"Of course!"

I make my way through the crowd, finding my Kirk surrounded by a bevvy of beauties at the drink table. He sees me and smiles. "There she is now," I hear him say.

The women turn to me as one. "Where did you find this adorable man?" the one in the strapless red dress asks.

"He is just so darling!" remarks the one in the barely-there blue dress.

"In the press room," I say coolly, not letting my jealous irritation show. "You ought to see him when he's covered in ink."

The women laughed. "I'd looove to see that," cooed the one in a sparkly pink dress.

"Well, if you'll excuse me..." Kirk extracted himself from their midst. "Let's dance."

I let him lead me back out onto the dance floor as Vic began to sing a slower Christmas song. I didn't recognize the song, but as Kirk put his arms around me, I kind of forgot to think about it.

"They're holograms," he said.

"I wasn't jealous," I replied.

"Uh-huh...you had that look on your face that you wear when Christina brushes up against me at work."

I don't say anything.

"I told her to stop."

I smile at him.

"As fun as this is,what do you say we bale and go home early? " Kirk suggests.

"I like that idea...but first we'll have to find Fluke...he's our ride home..."

"Oh...we might be a while then. He went that way," he pointed deeper into the Sands, "A while ago with a girl...."

"I see...well, then, let's just keep on dancing, shall we? We're time traveling so we have all the time there is..."

It ended up that the Enterprise had to return us home because we never did find Fluke.

As I stand just inside Kirk's door...no longer shivering, he holds up a sprig of mistletoe...

"Where did you get that?" I ask, a smile blossoming on my face.

"Your futuristic Captain slipped it to me..."

"Jean-Luc is such a matchmaker," I mutter.

"No," he said. "The other one."

"Kirk?!"

"Said I shouldn't let you get away." He holds it over my head, and leans in and kisses me.

-----------------

I can see Seven Of Nine getting excited, as her terminatrix friend Sky is here. Time to triple Security!


The Borg Who Stole Christmas

My friend Seven of Nine invited me to this years Enterprise Christmas Party. I planned on coming with my boyfriend, Anthony Stark Jr.

Seven said that Captain Picard first stated I could not come because it was a "Black Tie Affair"

After my research I realized he meant he was issuing a dress code...

I informed Seven I would have the right attire and he reluctantly agreed to my presence. I think the fact that Seven threatened to assimilate the crew helped change his mind...

While I was preparing to go, Tony Two, my right hand man came up to me and insisted on being allowed to go. I permitted it. My Tony and Tony two glared at each other but were silent.



I greeted Seven and introduced her to my boyfriend and my right hand man... Both men in their Tuxes extended their arm for me.. I walked past and took Seven's arm leaving them standing there in the Transporter Room.

Seven and I watched the Party while Tony drank and Tony Two glared at him. Soon Tony was hanging on the chandeliers and had a lamp shade on.

Seven and I then saw something interesting. A funny little fellow.



Seven: Do you see him, Sky?

My response: I see him.

He had the panels pulled open and was messing with the Holodeck... When he saw us he grabbed the Christmas Tree and ran.

Seven and I tried to pursue but one of the Holodeck wires crackled and sparked....

Shutting down power systems...
5
4
3
2
1

I opened my eyes, it had been a while since I had dominance over Sky. I am not sure how long I was pushed down so deep in her conscious. I looked around. Someone approached....

"Hello." She said.

I turned to her, "Hello." She looked forward.



"I am Annika Hansen, Welcome to Unimatrix Zero." Ann stated.

I shook her hand, "Dr Katelyn Shane Basil. I then tried to figure out what happened."

It took me sometime but with Annika's help I discovered that somehow a power surge from a holodeck had linked Sky and her friend Seven, who were both currently unconscious.

I looked around and smiled, "How would you and everyone else like to come to the Christmas Party?"

Annika became excited, "I would love it."

I forced myself free from this real subconscious realm and to the Party.
I see Seven of Nine unconscious and the sparking wires to the holodeck...

I work with a few adjustments and no one notices that I bring Unimatrix Zero to the Party.

Annika appears in front of me, "Merry Christmas. If they hadn't had the party in the holodeck I wouldn't have been able to do this."

"How long will it lasts?" My new friend asks

Taking two glasses of eggnog I offer her one and say, "I don't know, nor do I know how long I can keep Sky suppressed, so let's enjoy it while we can."

Soon we were interrupted by Tony slurring as a large warrior like security guard dragged him away... "Ladies... come Mr Worf is taking us to a private room to celebrate."

"Would you like me to demonstrate a Vulcan nerve pinch, " Annika grins.

"Sure!" Tony said and then she quickly had him unconscious.

As we watched him be carried to the brig, Annika and I had another toast.

-------------------

Merlyn Gabriel is the next guest I see in the group of people.

I arrive on board the Enterprise with my date. Already the beaming technology has made him raise his blue-black eyebrow twice.

"We are here for a party, not to steal technology." I hiss in his ear.

"Indeed, my dear." He purrs in my ear, "But it doesn´t hurt to observe."

I sigh and shake my head. I suppose I should be grateful Thrawn accepted to come along as my date to this shindig, he´s not really the partying type and it took some convincing to get him into the suit which I am told is called a tuxedo. It might have been a bigger argument had he not seen my dress first, slinky, low cut and it clung to all my curves. I must admit he looks very dashing in his clothes.

We are met by Commander Data who, much to my surprise remembers that I was here last year. I keep forgetting he is an android and has a perfect memory.

"Good evening Miss Gabriel it is so nice to see you again. The Captain was very happy to hear you had accepted the invitation."

"Hi Data, this is my date, Thrawn." I say quickly before Thrawn can mention rank or anything else that would require lengthy explanations about cross galactic travel and alternative universes.

"Pleasure to meet you, sir. If you will follow me..." Data says looking at Thrawn in a puzzled way. "May I say that our doctor could replace your antenna should you wish?"

Thrawn looks at me and then at Data and asks, "Antennae?" in a manner which usually makes people back away mumbling apologies. Data wears an expression that is a cross between puzzlement and looking as though he swallowed a bug and wisely keeps quiet. The Enterprise is a stunning ship and I know that as we walk through her impressive halls and ride the turbo
lifts, Thrawn is taking mental notes. I begin to wonder if I should have asked Shiv to come along instead. We reach the holodeck and already even before the doors open we can hear music and laughter.

"Are we late?" I ask.

Data shakes his head. "Not at all, this year´s venue is a nightclub based from the 1960´s in Las Vegas. Loud is normal." And with that he opens the door.

I tug at Thrawn´s sleeve because the sight of an utterly different world behind the holodeck doors has occupied his attention. We don´t have holodeck technology in our galaxy. He smiles at me, remembering that this is a Christmas party not a fact finding mission and we enter the room. It is remarkable. A live band plays up on a small stage, with a grey haired man singing.



His voice is very pleasant and the beat from the song already makes me want to dance. I scan the room and see Florence waving madly, weaving our way through the crowd we finally make our way to the table and the seats she has saved for us. She looks fabulous and as we do that
obligatory kiss kiss thing I give her the present I brought with me. I introduce Thrawn and she smiles.

"Pleasure to meet you, I have read a lot about you." She grins.

I make an `I´m innocent face´ and Thrawn smiles politely then swipes two drinks from a passing waiter with all the grace of a Russian ballet dancer.

We have not been seated more than a few minutes when the Captain comes over to greet us, making the rounds in the large crowded room. I am so delighted to see him I jump up and give him a huge undignified hug which he tolerates. Then I introduce my date and they shake hands.

"I do not mean to be rude of anything, but we have a fabulous doctor on board who can do wonders for your ah... antennae problem." He says.

Thrawn looks more and more puzzled.

"Miss Gabriel, you did not tell me you were dating an Andorian." The Captain says.

I shake my head. "Thrawn isn´t an Andori-whatsit he´s Chiss."

"Ah, so he isn´t missing any antenna?" Captain Picard says with a relieved smile.

"No, he isn´t missing anything." I grin. Thrawn pretends to be very interested in the table decoration and the Captain tugs on his uniform jacket.

"Well that is good to hear. Andorians take their antenna very seriously."

The Captain says then smiles and wishes us a pleasant evening but before he can leave to greet the next table of guests I make him promise to save me a dance. This night club party is fantastic and the music which fills the air is perfect for dancing. I look at Thrawn who is engaged in conversation with Florence, they are talking about the meaning and cultural significance of toys and I can tell this will be a great evening. I sit back, sip my drink and return the smile that the singer, Vic, has just given me. Yep, this is going to be great!

--------------------

Now who invited The Borg Queen? She wasn't on my Guest List. I think we have a gatecrasher, but who is going to volunteer to throw HER out?



I thought I'd invite myself along to Locutus' Christmas Party after the events of last year. There is no better way of studying human behaviour than at a party. The speed at which they intoxicate themselves is quite amazing.

I try to get in contact with Seven via the Hive Mind, but strangely am unable to do so. Perhaps her connection is on the blink for some reason? I know she is around here with that terminatrix friend Sky somewhere.



Strangely, the girl in the blue dress with that other blonde looks VERY familiar!

I have one of Guinan's vol-au-vants, and some Romulan Ale and walk over to one of the crew. He looks very panic stricken when he sees me.



"Wha...what d-do you w-want." he says.

"I recognise you, Reg Barclay from last year." I tell him, "You are in no danger of being assimilated due to the Christmas Party Truce Agreement."

He looks relieved.

"What are these?" I ask, pointing to some paper tubes.

"T-these are C-christmas crackers." he tells me, "Th-they were very popular in the 2oth and 21st Century, e-especially in England. T-two people p-pull them and the one with the most g-gets the contents, which are a p-paper hat, a plastic toy and a joke."

"You will pull a cracker with me, Barclay." I tell him, "I wish to win the contents."

"I-I'm s-sure you w-will." he tells me."

We pull the cracker, which splits with a bang. I happen to win the contents. I get a blue paper hat, which I put on, a plastic Borg Cube, plus a piece of paper.

"T-that is the joke." Barclay informs me. I then read it out.

"Question: What did the Borg clown drone say to the newly captured victim? Answer: You will be a-silly-ated."

I look blankly at Barclay.

"I do not understand this joke." I say.

"Err...well, cracker jokes are always p-poor." he replies.

I then take him on the dancefloor to do the Foxtrot, while still wearing my blue paper hat.

Humans can be very fascinating.

-------------------------

With that, the Fourth Day draws to a close. Be back tomorrow for the Fifth and Final Day!

Seven Of Nine Dates Reg Barclay (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Reg Barclay

What did I let myself in for?

Seven Of Nine has ordered that she and I go on a d-date at The Sands holographic nightglub so that she can start a relationship and learn about human behaviour.

I-I was so t-taken by surprise I could not say no; as the date is tonight, I'm p-panic stricken.

I talk to Deanna. She is always a good person who can help me.

"You do have a problem, Reg." she says, "Why don't you just be yourself? I'll admit that Seven isn't your average woman, but she is a human under all those implants."

"I s-see what you mean, Deanna." I reply.

"Just compliment her, Reg." she continues, "Don't think she might assimilate you when when the night is over."

This makes me even more terrified. Deanna tells me not to worry, and I leave her office.

I'm sure I heard the sound of Betazoid laughter after I closed the door.

------------

A few hours later, I show up at Seven's door with a bunch of flowers. She opens the door.



"Hello Reg Barclay." she states firmly, "What are these flowers for?"

"T-They're for you, S-Seven." I say hesitantly, "A man likes to give a woman flowers, especially on a first date."

This provokes some anger from her.

"I am not a woman, but a member of the Borg." she dictates, "The Borg are supreme."

"Y-y-yes" I reply, "But you are learning about human behaviour."

Seven considers this.

"You are correct, Reg Barclay." she says, "Thank you for flowers,"

"Y-you're welcome, Seven." I tell her, "You look very err.... pretty tonight."

-------------

We make our way to The Sands, where the hologram Vic Fontaine is playing a set tonight. Everybody stares at us in amazement.

"Stop staring at us, or you will be assimilated!" Seven tells them.

I must admit, I smiled to myself about this one.

Vic Fontaine sings a couple of numbers and comes over to us.



"Hi, lovebirds" he says to us, "It's always a pleasure to see romantic couples here at The Sands."
I go bright red, and Seven stands up.

"We are only on our first date." she tells Vic "We are not yet 'lovebirds' as you call it."

"Whoa!" he replies, "I'm sure you two just need a song to get you started."

He signals the band, and they play 'Strangers In The Night.'

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wondring in the night
What were the chances wed be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in you smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away and -

Ever since that night weve been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

--------------

Later, Seven gets up to leave with me.

"This has been a satisfactory date, Reg Barclay." she tells me, "We shall have to decide where to go for our second date."

I start to look panic stricken.

"Err..w-well, S-Seven." I tell her, "Maybe we w-will someday when we've g-got the t-time."

"We shall make the time." Seven replies, "Incidentally, when I mentioned to Commander Riker about our date, he started talking in baseball terminology about first base and second base. Do you know what he meant?"

I panic again.

"I-I really h-have n-no idea." I manage to reply.

Seven kisses me, her eye implant almost poking my eye out.

"Goodnight, Reg Barclay." she says.

I stagger to my quarters and manage to get to bed before I pass out.

Seven Of Nine Dates Reg Barclay (Part One)

Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

The Borg Queen has instructed that in my learning of human behaviour I must interact with them more, rather than being a separate being on the ship.

"You must have a relationship with one of them." she tells me, "In order to truly understand human knowledge and how weak they are."

This was somewhat difficult, as I encounter a reluctance to go on what humans call 'a date'.

Naturally, I tried Locutus first, but Crusher soon strode in, telling me she would undo every nut and bolt of my body if I came near the Captain again.

She's already down for the front of the Assimilation Chamber queue.

I encounter a similar hostility from others. Data sounded the most interesting. With his positronic brain and cybernetic construction, he would be a perfect match in a Borg Dating Agency.

Jennifer Baxter soon strode up to me.



"Listen right now, Seven!" she shouts at me angrily, "No one is taking my Data away from me. You'll be on the Borg scrapheap so fast, it'll make your implants spin."

She is Number Two in the queue, right behind Crusher.

Starting to despair a little at my lack of success, I encounter Lieutenant Barclay in the corridor.

"Lieutentant Reginald Endicott Barclay III" I announce, "I am Seven Of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01. You and I shall go on a date, and start a relationship together."



"Err...ummmm." Barclay starts, "That is, err..."

"Good." I say with satisfaction, "Then it is settled. You and I shall visit The Sands holographic nightclub on our first date. I shall address you as 'Reg Barclay', you may call me 'Seven'."

"Err....ahh...well, all right then...errr Seven." replies Barclay.

I stride off, very satisfied, leaving Barclay staring into nothingness for some reason.

I must have had a devastating impact on him.

To be continued...

Author's Note:

Apologies for the lateness of this post; my ISP was disconnected, and it took a day to be repaired. As a result, Part Two will be on Weddnesday, with the next post being the TWQ on Saturday.

Assertiveness Training

Captain Picard has sent me to an Assertiveness Training Course, as he thinks I'm too nervous in what I do.

Of c-course I am!

All these aliens attacking us, t-transporter malfunctions, a Borg drone on board. It's a w-wonder we're still in one piece.

"Don't worry, Reg." says Deanna, "Just go along and you'll be fine."

"T-that's alright for you to say, Deanna." I reply, "I just d-dont think I can or want to be assertive. I get very nervous when people shout at me. They always seem to."

She smiles and sends me in the direction of Holodeck 2, where the training is being carried out.

------------

I enter the holodeck, and there is a large man there; the sort that could probably beat up Lieutenant Worf without any problem.

"So you're Barclay?" he says loudly, "You do look a weedy speciman, don't you? Well I'm Argos, and I'm going to make sure that at the end of this Assertiveness Course, you'll be a tough individual. Right?"

"Err...if you s-say so, sir." I reply.

Argos looks disgusted and continues.

"Right, Barclay" he says, "In this first scenario, you are in control of Engineering; there is going to be a Warp Core Breach in a few moments. Tell me what you are going to do?"

A simulation of the Engineering Room comes to life, and everyone is looking panic-stricken, running here and there.

"Everybody!" I say to them, "Would you m-mind leaving the s-section, as we're going to have a b-breach in a while."

"MORE AUTHORITY, BARCLAY!" shouts Argos.

He is making me more nervous; as I try and urge everybody to leave the Room, the scenario suddenly vanishes.

"What happened?" I ask.

"The ship exploded while you were dithering away, Barclay." replies Argos, "The Enterprise has been destroyed while you have asked people nicely to leave. It wasn't a garden party, or asking a girl to dance. You should have thrown them out then tried to get to the problem via a Jeffries Tube."

"I might have got killed." I protest.

"But you would have saved the ship, Barclay!" shouts Argos, "Now let's see how you get on in this next scenario."

The holodeck changes, and a replica of the Enterprise Bridge appears; all the staff are there, except Captain Picard.

"In this scenario, the Enterprise is about to be invaded." says Argos, "Let's see what you do; you are the Captain here."

While I sit in the Captain's chair next to Commander Riker, Seven and two other Borg drones appear on the Bridge.

"Surrender and prepare for assimilation." states Seven.

"Err...we surrender" I say nervously.

Argos looks livid.

"What kind of assertiveness is that supposed to be, Barclay?" he shouts, "Stand up for yourself!"
The program runs again, and Seven orders us to surrender.

"Err...we will not s-surrender" I tell her.

"Then you will be assimilated first" replies Seven.

I think carefully.

"In that case, I surrender." I say.

The program stops and Argos looks near breaking point. I've never seen a grown man cry before.

"Did it not occur to you to get yourself assimilated as a diversion, while Riker managed to press the self-destruct with Data so that the ship would explode during the Borg invasion?" he asks me through his tears.

"No." I reply, "I have n-noticed that I seem to get killed in both scenarios, though. It doesn't seem to pay being assertive, Mr Argos."

"You're missing the point, Barclay," he tells me, "What you are learning is...oh I can't do this any more. I give up. I'm going to teach Flower Arranging instead."

With that he walks out...

--------------------

"How did you get on with your Assertiveness Training, Reg?" asks Deanna.

"It was alright, I think" I reply, "But I don't think the tutor was the right one. He said he wanted to move to a different area of training afterwards."

"That's too bad." Deanna muses, "Starfleet need to be sure they have the right instructors for the job, otherwise how will we ever learn anything?"

An Unfortunate Accident

.

N-now, I'm er, not sure I should really being d-doing this, but I'm going to have a try. I tried before, and instead I w-wiped off all the records off W-worf's personal log when I did.

For all I know, this is probably not my log, but C-captain Picard's.

Deanna advised me in our last c-counselling session to express myself more and say what I think using the personal log. After that holodeck addiction incident that I h-had I while back, I'll try anything.

Deanna has been very patient with me. She tells me that I'm her biggest c-challenge, which doesn't sound like much of a compliment to me. I did have the good news from her that I've made enough p-progress to be let back into Engineering.

I know Geordi had to have a sedative after the last time I was there. Really, t-though, it was all an accident with the Warp Core.

It was also an accident afterwards when I visited him in Sickbay. My arm touched the bed-moving position, and he suddenly shot forward and landed on the floor.

"It's okay, Reg." he said at the time. What puzzled me is how did he know it was me visiting when he didn't have his Visor on and I hadn't said anything at the time.

A l-lucky guess, I suppose.

Anyway, it's off to Engineering. Geordi will be pleased to know he's got an extra pair of hands to help him there.

I enter Engineering. Five people see me, say "Hi Reg!" rather nervously and quickly leave the room.

"H-hello Geordi!" I call out to him, as he is working on a plasma cell.

He looks round, and gives me a glazed smile.

"W-what are you doing here, Reg?" he asks me, "I thought after that last incident, you had been relocated on the ship."

"T-that's true, Geordi." I reply, "But Counselor Troi thinks I am well enough to return to Engineering ."

"Err...ok, Reg," he says, "Just work on this plasma cell here. DON'T go ANYWHERE near that Warp Core. We don't want a repitition of that last incident, do we?"

"N-no, that was regrettable." I agree.

Geordi walks off and takes a couple of extra-strong sedatives.

"Before you go." I call out, "I've got some theories for a new h-high-powered enhanced Warp Drive. I can bring the plans down, and start to work on them r-right away if you like."

Geordi goes a little pale.

"Maybe some other time, Reg." he groans. He takes two more sedative tablets, and leaves.

I'm s-sure the Enterprise would be going at Warp 12 by now if they left it to me.