TWQ: Scariest Horror Movies

As it's Halloween, many of us will be watching a few scary moves. TWQ (The Weekend Question) is asking which are your favourites.

Which movies did you find really scary and are your favourites in that category? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

The Mist
Let The Right One In (Swedish vampire movie)
30 Days Of Night
Halloween
The Orphanage
Orphan
Wolf Creek (Australian)

Now it's over to you...

Deanna & Will At The Galaxy Fair (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

Have you ever had the impression that you're left hanging in mid-air?

That's what happened to Will and me. We've come to the Galaxy Fair, where I had a lot of fun in the bouncy castle. Then Will got me a kewpie doll from the shooting gallery. Everything seemed to be going peachy when we started going up on the ferris wheel. Once we reached the top...it broke down!

------------------

"Can't they do anything, Will?" I ask as I sniffle away. The cold wind is approaching, the wind is increasing, and the seat we are in is rocking.

"I'm sure they are doing everything they can, Deanna." Will answers.

"Well they look frantic down there." I say in a slightly sarcastic way, "The organisers are running around frantically as if they are ants whose farm has just had a bucket of water thrown over it! Can't they beam us off?"



"No, they can't" he answers, "This planet is noted for having an old-style 20th century fairground. They are not going to implement any present day equipment like beaming technology. It took a lot of persuasion to get them to allow our shuttlecraft to land on the outerlying city."

"So what are we gonna do?" I ask, "I don't need my empathic abilities to tell me that everyone one on the wheel is very worried...and that goes for me three times over! Why did I let you persuade me to come here?"

"Deanna" Will exclaims, "It was YOU who wanted to come here. I was content with a holodeck version."

I mutter to myself then keep quiet. It's what I always do when I know he's right. It's a woman's privilege to sulk in these instances.

"Can you see that?" Will points, "There's a hook where the mechanism is all caught up. All it takes is that to be freed today and we'll start moving again"

"Have you lost your mind!" I exclaim, "You'd have to climb out and,,,"

"I'm going to do it." he decides.



He clambers out of the seat, which makes it start to rock even more. If you've ever wondered if a Betazoid can turn green when they feel ill, the answer is yes.

Will slides down the pole below and unhooks the tangled rope. After a few grinding creaks, the ferris wheel starts to move around again....with Will hanging in the centre!

I scream out, but as the seat lowers down towards the ground, he manages to gradually ease himself on to the seat we had.

"My hero!" I say, and give him a big kiss.

When we disembark, all the passengers congratulate him on his daring rescue mission. A policeman approaches.



"I'll have to ask you to leave the Galaxy Fair, sir." he states in a pompous manner.

"Why?" Will asks, although after the incident, I'm more than ready to go.

"I'm the Health & Safety Officer for this park." he answers robotically, "By leaving the ferris wheel seat, it was in clear violation of the rules that are stated when embarking."

"But he saved everyone on the wheel!" I protest.

"That is no concern of mine." the Officer continues, "You breached Health & Safety."

He gives Will a ticket and tells him he is banned from future visits to the park.

"I think we'll stick to holodeck versions in future." I tell Will, as we walk out, "And make sure there isn't a Heath & Safety Officer in the program!"

Deanna & Will At The Galaxy Fair (Part One)

Guest Poster: Will Riker

"We might as well have set up a program on the Enterprise holodeck." I complain to Deanna as we walk towards the Galaxy Fair, "It would have been just the same...and a lot cheaper. The entrance fee was extortionate!"

"Don't be a whiner, Will." Deanna replies, "The Galaxy Fair is the best in the whole Federation area., "It's countless attractions just can't be duplicated within a starship. I want the real thing!"

"Sure." I say halfheartedly. I know there is no turning back once Deanna sets her mind to it. I might as well go along with it.

We look around and suddenly my girlfriend screams excitedly.

"Look Will!" Deanna exlaims, "A bouncy castle!"



She drags me along to it, and eagerly pays to go on.

"Come on, Will!" she shouts, "This is gonna be SO much fun!"

Reluctantly, I am forced to join Deanna, and the two of us bounce away. She screams and laughs. I am hoping that no one has a picture to show Captain Picard how his Commander and Counselor are spending their time.

After a while, we leave the castle, Deanna looking really pleased.



"Wasn't that a blast, Will?" she exclaims, "What shall we do next?"

"I don't know." I reply. Deanna pokes me in the ribs.

"Don't be a stick-in-the-mud, Will!" my girl orders, "We came here to enjoy ourselves, so let's do it."

I must admit that she has a point. I know I'm not a traditional fairground type, but while I'm here I might as well show some interest.

After sucessfully shooting ten successive ducks with a phaser pistol and getting a kewpie doll for Deanna, I think it might not be as bad as I thought.

"Look!" Deanna points out, "There's the ferris wheel. Let's go on that!"



We embark, and are soon heading towards the top, where it stops.

"Isn't this romantic?" Deanna coos in my ear, "The ferris wheel has stopped right where we are at the highest point."

"Yes" I tell her, but then look down, "I don't think it's deliberate. Judging from the panic below, I think it's broken down."

To be continued.....

TWQ: Halloween Fancy Dress Party

Apologies for the lateness, but I have just returned from London.

Next Saturday is Halloween, so TWQ (The Weekend Question) is getting ready to pick a costume....

If you get an invite to a Halloween Fancy Dress Party, what would you like to go as, if money were no object in selecting the outfit? It doesn't have to be anything creepy.

My answer is :

I would probably be spoilt for choice, but a French aristocrat, in an elegant outfit and wig. As an addition, I might carry a basket with a false head in it!

Now over to you...

Conversation With Queen Diana

"Incoming call from Wondawowman, Captain." Worf informs me as we sit on the Bridge.

This wakes me a little, as I was in a semi-doze state. After all, then the Enterprise is travelling through space, things can tend to look a little monotonous after a while and send anyone into a sleepy slate.

"I'll take it in my Ready Room, Mr Worf." I inform him, and go there.

I switch on the viwer there, and Queen Diana, leadfer of the Amazon race, comes on. When she sees me, she looks somewhat disappointed.



"Greetings, your majesty." I say in my best grovelly voice, "I hope you are..."

"Oh, it's you." she says flatly, "I was hoping to speak to a female in authority, preferably Karena's mother in law Beverly, or if she is not around, I will settle for Deanna Troi."

Though irked at this, I do my best not to show it.

"They are both away, Queen Diana." I say, "As I am the Captain, can you tell me what you wish to discuss?"

She sighs.

"Oh very well, please convey the message to Beverly." shew says, as if I am an errand boy, "We on Wondawowman are sorting out the preparations for the Christmas Party to be held here that will accommodate the Enterprise and my daughter and Wes' ship, the Rhode Island."

"That's excellent." I reply, "Are there any details you are not sure of which I can help you with?"

The Queen looks amazed.

"Of course not, Captain." she tells me, "You are just a man and have no idea on this sort of thing. The women on your ship, together with the amazons on our planet will make sure it all runs efficiently. Just don't get in the way."



"Perhaps if the seating were man, woman, man wonan, it will be a good way of breaking the ice for people who don't usually have a chance to talk?" I venture to suggest.

"That is out of the question, Captain." she replies haughtily, the women will all sit together, while the men will be placed at the back. Occasionally an amazon will bring them some food over if she is not busy and the women have all had theirs."

"But...your majesty." I try to say.

"We are rumnning the party, Captain." she tells me, "Therefore it will be done the way we want to. Please forward the message to Beverly Crusher. Goodbye."

The screen blips off. I walk back on to the Bridge.

"Anything wrong, sir? asks Data.

"No, Mr Data." I tell him, "I think I've just been demoted to Errand Boy status."

How did the party get given to the amazons? It sounds like it will be a heap of fun this year!

Jennifer & Ro's Away Mission (Part Five)

Guest Poster: Ro Laren

Jenny Baxter and I are in the throes of saving the universe right now. I'll let you know if it all goes wrong. Although even if I do, there won't be too much point in telling, as everything will be in ashes.

It all started very easily when the two of us were scanning a nebula. We got drawn into the other universe, where this crazy alien, who looks like he escaped from Roswell tells us he's going to send a tri-cobalt megatron bomb through to our universe then take over.

We've managed to elimate the energy dampening field that was preventing Jen's multi phase disruptor from working, so now we have to work fast.

-----------

"Come on, Ro." Jennifer urges me as we run through the corridors towards the Control Room, "Commander D'Arta is counting down the release time to the bomb."

We head in and see D'Arta walking around, while his minions work on various control stations.

"The doorway to the other universe is open for five minutes, Commander." I hear one of them say.

"Very well." D'Arta says in his best screen villain mode, "Release the bomb."

"Jen....." I stutter, "Are we too late?"

"It's never too late to prevent the end of the universe." she replies, and gets the disruptor ready to fire.



The disruptor beam shoots out all over the complex machinary, and sparks start flying as if it's the Fourth of July and New Year's Eve all rolled in one.

"You foolish females!" shouts D'Arla, "Now the bomb will not be released in your universe, but instead will destroy this one."

The two of us look at each other swiftly. And know only one course of action.

Run to the shuttlecraft!!

When we get there, the announcer is saying in a slightly panicky voice "Two minutes to detonation."

We get in the shuttle and leave for the nebula exit



"Put the booster thrust on, Jen!" I shout, as I know it's going to be one of those last-second events we seem to get away with. The rift is closing, and the detonation is any time!

The shuttlecraft just gets through, and as the rift seals, I hear the beginning of the explosion in the other universe.

---------------

"So." says Captain Picard, as he talks to us later in his Ready Room, "Commander D'Darta, in his bid to destroy and rule this universe ended up blowing him and his own up?"

"Yes, sir." Jennifer concurs, "The bomb would have exploded had I tried to destroy it with my disruptor."

"Quite so." he tells me, "Well, it's good to know that both of you are on the Enterprise again. I was worried Data might not speak to me again after I let you go, Jennifer."

"I can take care of myself." she boasts, "I may need to adjust his male chauvenism circuit next time I see him."

We all laugh.

Jennifer & Ro's Away Mission (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

This doesn't look like it's going to be my day. After a simple Away Mission with Ro Laren, it looks like the two of us will be viewing the end of the universe from a parallel one which we were drawn into while in a shuttlecraft.

Commandader D'Arta of the Vern Armed Forces is a complete universe-destroting nutcase. He wouldn't win any beauty contests either, unless all the contestants happened to look like those found in Roswell in 1947. Even then a dead one would probably win against him.

Anyway, he's sending a tri-cobalt megatron bomb through to our universe to do the damage. I think it sounds worse with a fancy title, though I wouldn't like to be around when it goes off.

-------------

"What are we gonna do, Jen?" says Ro as we are led away by a couple of minions. I think that is fast becvoming her catchphrase..

"I don't know, Ro." I reply, "But I know we've got to destroy the energy dampening field so the my multi-phase disruptor can get to work. We can't let that bomb go off."

We get thrown in the jail. Time for Ro and I to discuss strategy. Two guards stand outside.



"We've got to do something, Jen!" pleads Ro, "We can't just sit here and watch our universe burn to a cinder."

"Calm down, Ro." I tell her, "I think we'll have to use Operation Honeytrap."

"What's that?" she asks, and I whisper it to her.

A few moments later, I seductively call out to the guards.

"Hey fellas." I start, "Would you like to keep two lonely women company? You both look so hunky and strong. Ro and I are keen to have fun with you."

A few seconds later, the two alien minions come in, obviously very eager.



Ro stands there, about to but her arms round one, while I hide behind the door, knocking one unconsious. As the other one turns round, Ro hits him and lays him out.

"Well done, Ro!" I tell her, "Let's get that dampening field switched off. It must be on the Bridge."

We head that way, careful to avoid any of the Vern race. As we near the Bridge, we see a notice on a doorway.."DAMPENING FIELD CONTROL"

"Very convenient." I comment.

We look around and see that there is an OFF, an ON and a SELF DESTRUCT.

"I think we'll go for the last one." Ro says, and we both laugh.

We run out of the room just in time for the machine to blow up. I look at my disruptor and smile. It's ready to work again.

A voice over the speaker announces "Bomb countdown in progress."

"All right, Ro." I say, "Time to save the universe."

To be continued...

TWQ: Best New Inventions

With so much new technology around nowadays, TWQ (The Weekend Question) is asking about new inventions.

What has been the best new invention for you over the last few years? List more than one if you wish.

My answers are:

The VCR has allowed us to see programmes when we wish, rather than when the company says . This has also led on to the SkyPlus (British equivilant of TiVo) and latterly the DVR (digital recorder)

The digital camera has allowed us to take as many pictures as we wish without committing to film.

Now it's over to you...

Jennifer & Ro's Away Mission (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Ro Laren

This Away Mission that Jennifer Baxter and I are on seems to be going from bad to worse. It started simply enough when the two of us did an easy scan in the Aurora shuttlecraft of the Coral Nebula. Then a rip in space opened up, taking us into this other universe. We have been drawn to this warship. Jenny did her usual, coming out with her multi-phase disruptor, but it has no effect because of an energy dampening field. Now a booming voice is telling us that our universe will soon be destroyed.

---------------

We wait for the voice to show himself.



"That voice sounds so hammy." complains Jenny, "He's like a movie villain who says "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!""

"It might sound hammy to you, Jen" I remark, "But at this moment we ARE in dire straights!"

The two of us look around to see the owner of the voice.



Yuk! Not a pretty sight. He would scare the children away, although I must admit it would make a good halloween costume.

"I am Commander D'Arla." he declares, "I am leader of the Vern Armed Forces in this universe. I am pleased to say that our plans are going well so far."

"And what might that be?" I ask, in the hope that he does what all villains do, and that is tell the good ones what his plans are so that they can be thwarted.

"You may as well know." he continues, "As you cannot do anything about it. Our race have been trying to get a temporary entrance into your universe."

"For what purpose?" Jenny asks.

"To destroy it, of course." D'Arla laughs, as if the answer is obvious, "We send a high powered tri-cobalt megatron bomb through it, then seal the entance. It will destroy all life in a billion lightyear radius. We will then go in and take over. Here is the bomb."

We look over to see it.



"It looks nasty, Ro." whispers Jenny, "We've got to stop it from happening!"

"Take them away!" D'Arla orders to a couple of his minions, "Time for the countdown to commence!"

To be continued after the TWQ...

Jennifer & Ro's Away Mission (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

This is a fine pickle!

Ro Laren and I were making a routine scan in the Aurora shuttlecraft on the Coral Nebula when a piece of space opened up in front of us and drew our craft in then closing up.

I know Data will be frantic over my disappearance; he left his emotion chip on after kissing me and wishing me good luck.

------------



"What are we gonna do, Jen?" asks a worried Ro, "However are we going to get back?"

"I'm not sure yet, Ro." I reply, "But the first thing I have to do is change my clothes."

"Why's that?"

"I've a feeling that I might need my leather fighting outfit here." I tell her, "Fortunately I also packed my trusty multi-phase disruptor. I never leave home without it."

"Good thinking." laughs Ro, "The trouble is this ship is not operating by itself. It's been drawn somewhere."

Eventually, we see where our shuttlecraft is being pulled to....a large warship.



As it lands, I get my guns already. I'm ready to ventilate a few nasty aliens that brought us into this universe.

We run out, me with my disruptor ready to shoot. I don't mind asking questions later.



As I start to fire, I realise my disruptor isn't working.

"Do not try." says a booming voice, "Due to the energy dampening field in this ship, your weapons will have no effect. Consider yourselves lucky. From this ship, you will be able to witness the destruction of your universe."

To be continued...

Jennifer & Ro's Away Mission (Part One)

I call Ensigns Jennifer Baxter and Ro Laren into my Ready Room.

"Ensigns." I start, "You have both remarked that you haven't had enough Away Missions to go on, so I'm sending you on one in the next few hours.



Jennifer's face lights up, as if she and her boyfriend Commander Data have been given a weekend pass to a Spa Hotel.

"Thank you, sir." she replies, "I'm grateful to be given the chance. What do you wish us to do?"

"The Coral Nebula is approaching." I tell her, "We need someone to go close to it in a shuttlecraft and scan it. We should have some excellent results from our findings."

"Yes, sir!" she beams, pleased at being given the assignment. As she leaves, Data comes in and asks me why she is looking so happy. I tell him.



"I am concerned that Jenny is being such a dangerous assignment, Captain." he tells me, "The Nebula is very dangerous andd unpredictable."

"Switch off your emotion chip, Data." I tell him, "It's a very easy job, just to scan the Nebula. Besides that, your girlfriend is one of the toughest women on the Enterprise. She always beats Worf in the endurance competitions. Don't wrap her up in cotton wool."

-------------

A few hours later, we on the bridge are tracking the shuttlecraft Aurora as it approaches the Nebula.



"Ro Laren to Enterprise" comes the videopicture, "I am nearing the Nebula, and am taking pictures now. The footage is wonderful. Jenny is looking around for the best views."

It sounds like the two of them are taking shots on their vacation!

We can see the Nebula image in front..



"Baxter to Enterprise." Jennifer says in alarm, "I am getting interference on the scanner. Something is happening in front of me."

We see a rip in space start to open up. It looks like the Aurora is being dragged towards it...

"JENNY!" yells Data, "Get out of there....!"

He must have left his emotion chip still on. We all look as the tiny shuttlecraft disappears into blackness.

If we don't manage to get them back, I may vanish on Data's Christmas card list.

To be continued...

TWQ: Bait To Catch Me

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about the bait someone would use if they were going to trap you.

What baits would someone use if they were going to catch you? Be as imaginative as you wish and list as many as you like!

My answers are:

* Cheese

* Lifetime supply of cinema tickets

* Hyperfast broadband access.

* Invitations to fancy dress parties and free use of a costumiers.

Now it's over to you...

900th Post!

900th Post!!!!!



Guest Poster: Ensign Britney:

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I was expecting a bald one to be posting this special 900th Post, but not Brit! She should either be in the brig or having a fun time with T'Pol.

You're right, of course, but the Captain can never resist that redheaded doctor of ours. Bev asks him to a late night showing of the latest movie in the Enterprise cinema , so off he goes, completely
forgetting the deadline for sending it in. The bell goes for sending it in, and as T'Pol and I happened to be passing, here we are doing all the work.



"So what are we gonna talk about, Brit?" T'Pol asks me as I type away.

"I dunno." I reply, "How about what we know most...ourselves!"

"Sounds good to me, honey." I reply, "Cause neither of us were here when the Captain started this Journal four and a half years ago. I've had a look at some of the old ones. This was the first:

http://jlpicard.blogspot.com/2005/04/waking-up.html

"Is that it?" laughs T'Pol, "It's a bit short and there aren't any pictures."

"Well, you know the Captain isn't that technologically minded." I reply, "It took him ages to figure out how to insert pictures."

"He should have bought The Dummies Guide To Writing A Starship Journal." T'Pol laughs, "That would have helped."

"I guess it would." I smile, "But he'd be ashamed asking for it.Anyway, I first appeared in a story called 'Starfleet Spam' when someone had used a picture of me and my mother in a dating agency!"

http://jlpicard.blogspot.com/2007/02/starfleet-spam.html

"I soon sued them after that, I can tell you!" I continue, "Anyway, I first appeared on the Enterprise soon after that in this following story."

http://jlpicard.blogspot.com/2007/02/ensign-britney.html

"Naturally, I ended up in the brig at the end of it." I laugh.

"That's my Brit!" T'Pol laughs, "Still four months later I was on the scene in this story:"

http://jlpicard.blogspot.com/2007/06/mirror-tpol-part-one.html

"That's right, sugar." I comment, "But the best was nine days later when the two of us met for the first time, What better place than the brig? I knew the two of us were soulsistahs."

http://jlpicard.blogspot.com/2007/06/tpol-britney-in-brig.html

"Too right, honey." T'Pol smiles, "What about that time we tried to get into that holiday resort as Janet Smith and Rebecca Jones?"

http://jlpicard.blogspot.com/2008/06/tpol-britneyalias-smith-jones-part-one.html

"That was a riot!" I say, "We are a couple of rowdies, aren't we?"

"Sure we are." T'Pol replies, "It's one of the things I love about you. The recent visit to your home planet of Delta was great."

http://jlpicard.blogspot.com/2009/09/ensign-britneys-parents-part-one.html

"Yeah, I'm glad you met my parents." I tell her, "We'll have lots of fun times together. Hey, what's that buzz?"

"It means the deadline for input is coming up, we'd better send this off." my soulsistah answers.

"But I've got masses to say." I protest, "Like the time you and I..."

"Not now, Brit."  T'Pol tells me, "Just press the SEND....not THAT one, it's the DELETE!"

"Okay...got it.....bye everybody....!." I call out.

Rebranding The Q Continuum (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Q

Has the Head Q lost his mind?

Our leader has told the Continiuum that he has been listening to focus groups and all those types who have suggested that we need to update our image to appeal to younger people. As a result, we have been renamed the Jive Continuum, our leader is the Head Jiver, and we are supposed to called each other 'Jive' from now on.

What a farce!

------------



"Our leader has been under the influence of those focus groups too much." my girlfriend Q tells me, as a group of us meet after the announcement, "We have been Qs since the year dot."

"That's true." says another, "I positively refuse to tell anyone my name is Jive. Instead of being powerful beings, we shall be seen as laughing stocks."

"Especially by Jean-Luc and Kathryn." I point out, "One of the great pleasures I have is needling those two whenever I visit. Imagine their reaction when I tell them what my new name is?"

"What can we do, sweetie?" says my girl to me, "It looks like it's too late to do anything. The Jive Continuum has been created."

"It can be un-created as well." I reply, "The Head Q might well change his mind if the right directive comes along."

Everybody laughs. They know how my mind works.

-----------

Later on, while the Head Q's secretary is on her lunch break, I sneak in and add an official directive, forged by me, but appearing to come from the focus group. It states that the instruction MUST be carried out.



"That'll shake him!" I think to myself.

----------------

A few hours later, there is another Emergency Meeting called by the Head Q. We all go to hear it.



"I have had a change of mind." declares the Head Q, "The Q Continuum will be continued to be called that, and things will be as they were before. I have fired those in the focus groups, as I believe their information was innaccurate."

He walks off and my girlfriend smiles at me.

"That's amazing!" she says, laughing, "What did you do, darling?"

"Oh, it's very easy." I said slyly, "That forged document from the focus groups said the Head Q should resign and make way for a person that appealed to the younger Q-wannabees."

"I'm sure he'd love to do that!" she concurs.

Now I can hold my head up high and pester Jean-Luc without calling myself Jive!

---------------

Editors Note:

Look out for the next post, which will be the 900th of this Journal.

Rebranding The Q Continuum (Part One)

Guest Poster: Q

My girlfriend Q and all the others in the Q Continuum have all been invited to an Address given by our Leader, the Head Q. From the rumours I've heard, ity's going to be a major announcement.



"I wonder what it will be?" Q asks, as she sprays on her Essence of Andromeda perfume, "Maybe he will be retiring?"

"I doubt that sweetheart." I reply, "The Continuum has been in existence as long as the universe, and he has always been in charge. I hardly think he is going to retire to a house in the country and put on his pipe and slippers."

The bell sounds, and all of us make our way to the Hall of Q, where important proclamations are made. I don't always hear all of them as I tend to fall asleep halfway through

With us all assembled, there is a hush when the Head Q steps forward.



As always, I can't show you his face. He is too important for the likes of you to see.

"Fellow members of the Continuum." he begins, "I have disturbing news to impart. There has been a distinct lack of new members in the last 500,000 years. We think this may be the result of the image we are portraying as omniscient beings. After consultation with focus groups, brand image experts and various media experts, I have come to the conclusion that the Continuum needs a facelift, and rebranding to a bright new image that's sellable in today's markets."

There is a gasp of astonishment around the Hall. Things have been cosy for the last......well as long as I can remember.

"The first thing we must do." continues the Head Q is rename the Continuum. From now on it will be known as the Jive Continuum, and you will all be known as Jive."

I wince. Q next to me winces as well.

"I shall be the Head Jiver." says the Head Q, "We shall also have an attractive catchprase..."Geet in tune with the Jivers and dominate the universe."

"It really rolls off the tongue!" says another Q sarcastically.

"What are we gonna do?" My girl asks me, "Everybody will laugh at us!"

"That's true." I reply, "I would never live it down if Jean-Luc found out about it."

To be continued....

TWQ: Famous People

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about famous people you may have seen.

Which famous people have you actually met? If you can't think of any, were there any you saw in a concert, for example?

My answers are:

* Alan Whicker (British global tv presenter and traveller)
* Timothy West (British actor)
* Jeremy Paxman (British tv presenter)
* Camille O'Sullivan (Irish/French singer, who I talked to after her concert)

Now it's over to you...

Alexander The Celebrity Chef (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

Worfie is in one of his bad moods....nothing new there. His is annoyed that because his son Alexander took part in a cooking assignment at the Enterprise school, his son now wants to be a celebrity chef!

As Worf thinks slaying Romulans and anyone else that gives him a bad hair day, we are all on our way to see Alexander's teacher Miss Forrester.

-----------

We all enter the classroom; Miss Forrester is just packing away the books.



"Hello, Lieutenant Worf, Jadzia and Alexander." she says, "What can I do for you?"

"You can begin by telling him how to slay a savage K'targh beast!" snaps Worfie, "Alexander does not need to know how to make a fairy cake and apple flan!"

"Actually, he's rather good." Miss Forrester replies, "He made a delightful chocolate sundae today, although I must admit he used a few colourful expletives to Katy, the girl he was sitting with. She went red and I had to keep him in for detention."

Alexander looks shamed.



"I wanted to be a celebrity chef." he says, "I thought swearing to a person nearby was part of the cooking procedure."

"Well it's not." Worf tells him, "When we get back, you will be punished."

"Don't be hard on him, Lieutenant." Miss Forrester pleads with him, "He's a good boy at heart, and may do very well at cooking...if he cuts the profanity!"

Worfie snorts, and we leave.

"Let me punish Alexander." I whisper, "I think I know something appropriate."

----------

We get back to our quarters.

"I'm looking forward to dinner." Alexander says to me, "What are we having, Jadzia?"

"I've no idea." I tell him, "You're doing the cooking tonight...and no using replicators!"

"But....." Alexander flusters.

"You wanted to be a celebrity chef." I say with a smile, "Now's your time to do it."

Alexander grumbles, and makes his way to the kitchen.

"....And no swearing, either!" I add.

Worfie gives me a peck on the cheek.

"Well done, Jadzia" he laughs, "You may well have changed Alexander's mind about a career in cooking."