Trouble On Wondawowman (Part Six)

Guest Poster: Wesley Crusher

Now that my honeybunch wife Karena, her sister Nexa, their mother Queen Diana, Juliana, our Captain Hernandez and Commander Hathaway and I have all broken out of prison, we are racing to stop the amazon Yalana from taking Queen Diana's throne.

---------

"Where are they right now, honeybunch?" I ask Karena as I shake the dust off my outfit. It will take forever to clean it.

"There is only one place, pumpkin." she replioes, "That is the Oracle of Wisdom, where all important events take place. We were married there."

As we go towards there, Nexa talks to her sister.



"Please forgive me, sister." says the raven-haired woman to blonde Karena, "I was taken in by the words of Yalana, Yorga and Felicia. Though we have always had our differences, for once we shall fight side by side in honour of our mother."

"For once, we shall indeed." Karena answers, "Though we shall always be very different."

---------

We all approach the Oracle of Wisdom, and see all the amazons assembled. They are all booing the stage, as if a villainous wrester has just entered the ring. Yalana is standing there, flanked by Yorga and Felicia.



"Fellow amazons." she announces, "As Queen Diana and her daughter have deserted you, I have put myself forward and declare myself the Quee...."

Queen Diana strides on to the stage and kicks Yalana down on the floor with her boot. I think this is going to get ugly..I think I'll look the other way....

Nexa and Juliana rush forward to overpower Yorga, the huge amazon, while Karena takes on Felicia, giving her a massive thump and pinning her to the stage floor with her spear.

"You never thought you could beat me, did you, Felicia?" she laughs, "This attempted coup is over!"

Queen Diana pulls Yalana up, and grips her tightly. The amazons all assembled give a loud cheer.

"My amazons." The Queen announces, "I and my daughter were held under guard by this usurper who tried to wrest my throne from me. These three women will suffer the ultimate amazonian penalty of having their spears broken in two and exiled from Wondawowman forever."

Further cheers erupt. I think everything is looking good again. The Queen turns to us.

"Thank you for supporting me in my hour of need ." she tells us, "Nexa, you only just missed being exiled yourself. Be careful of your action. Dearest daughter Karena and Life Servant Wesley, you saved us, as did you, Juliana, Captain Hernandez and Commander Hathaway."

Time to beam up to the USS Rhode Island. Why is the dust of this planet so hard to get off my uniform?

-------------

Editors Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

The Queen's Tuesday Meme #8 ~ The Bloggingham Love Shack
Warning: Hide the children!
There are love shenanigans in the dungeon.


Welcome to The Queen's Meme #8.
Step out of the box. Be creative. Have fun!
And please, stay out of the dungeon.

I've tried to avoid this subject. It is the fickle fodder of many a meme these days. Romance, s*x, relationships and breakups are really nobody's business. Wouldn't you say? Or perhaps it's the questions that are too personal and a bit juvenile at times. Middle school smooching is not exactly the end all and be all of civilization. (Is it? I don't know. I seem to have forgotten.) To tell you the truth, I'm getting just a little sick of all the love shenanigans going on in the dungeon down below. I can hear you. You are all just a wee bit too happy if you ask me. If I didn't know better I'd swear you want to stay!
But seriously, we could all use a little lot of romance in our lives. I promise not to ask questions that would make your mother blush. I suggest you tell her not to read your blog tomorrow.


Bloggingham Love Shack (aka The Romance Meme)

1. What is the craziest thing you've ever done in the name of love?

Said "I'll right I'll go out with you."

2. How much mystery should there be in a relationship? Is it a good thing or not?

It depends what the mystery is. Is it a whodunnit? Is it a horror story?

3. Is there someone in the blogosphere you'd like to get to know more intimately? Have you been too shy to ask? Let me help you. Write a 3 sentence anonymous love letter to them in this meme.
Leave a link if you dare. (I promise not to tell!)
"Dear Blogger, I've been meaning to tell you for the longest time that I really dig your blog, baby. I know you like mine as well. So how about it, sweetie?"etc etc"

Or if you wish, do some matchmaking instead. "Dear Blogger #1 and Blogger #2, I think you would be perfect for each other. This is why..."

4. Describe a "perfect evening" with the one you love.

Sweet music, good food, soft lights and.......shall we leave it at that?

5. If you are in a relationship, describe the one thing that makes it work well for you. If you are not in a relationship, do you want to be? If so, what type of romance are you looking for? What would it look like in your life?

I'm looking for a woman with her own castle? Any suggestions?

6. If you had to choose between having good s*x (I told you not to let your mother read this) OR intelligent conversation on a regular basis, which would you choose and why?

Can't we have a good intelligent conversation DURING???

and finally.....a purely selfish question:

7. I've got the Bloggingham Blues. What type of man is right for Queen Mimi Pencil Skirt? Do any of you see love in her foreseeable future? What do you suggest I do to spice up my love life? What am I doing wrong????!

I think you shouldn't handcuff them to the wall as soon as you see someone. That is a bad start in any relationship. Let them say "Hello" before you do that.

TWQ: Inventions Of The Future I Want Now

TWQ (The Weekend Question) takes a look into the future to ask what inventions you would like now.

What futuristic inventions would you like to see now? List as many as you wish and be as weird as you like!

My answers are:

* A robot housekeeper

*Flying cars

* Holographic tv

* Teleporter

Now it's over to you...

Trouble On Wondawowman (Part Five)

Guest Poster: Karena

With Captain Hernandez, Commander Hathaway, my pumpkin hubby Wes, my mother Queen Diana, my sister Nexa and my friend Juliana all under house arrest on Wondawowman, things are looking grim. My bitter enemy Yalana is about to take the throne, supported by her cohorts Yorga and Felicia.

-------

"What are we gonna do, honeybunch?" Wes asks me as we are thrown in the prison where my mother is, "Before we know it we're gonna be separated from our heads or something like that!"

"Calm down, Wes." I tell him, "We'll sort this out."

I go towards my mother.



"Daughter." she says, "I am pleased to see you, though not in these circumstances that your traitorous sister has placed us in. "

"I'm sorry, mother." wails Nexa, "I was persuaded by Yalana and her friends. I never meant it to come to this."

"We will speak of this later, Nexa." my mother says firmly, "Right now, we should find a way out of here. I have been told that Yalana's coronation will take place very soon."



"What I don't understand is how the amazons of this planet let it happen." chips in Wes, "Obviously your family line has been loved and respected. Why should they turn on you?"

"They never did." explains my mother, "Just a few rabblerousers like Yalana and Felicia have given the impression that they have wider support than they have. Foolishly, I didn't stop it when I could have done. They have made one mistake, though."

"What's that, Queen Diana?" asks Commander Hathaway.

"I have seen the earth movie The Great Escape." my mother smiles, "Just like the Germans, Yalana has put all the problems in one basket. Four amazons will not be easy to contain."

We look around and see that the eastern wall is the weakest.

"Very well." the Queen declares, "I, along with Karena, Nexa and Juliana will use all our strength against it. You three humans may help as well."



"Glad to know we can assist!" Commander Hathaway comments drily, "Even though we are so weak."

At the count of three, we all rush forward and hit the wall. It is badly damaged, but still standing. Commander Hathaway complains that his shoulder is aching.

"Don't be a wimp, Mark." Captain Hernandez tells him, "If we don't get out of here, you won't have to worry about your shoulder much longer, as your head will be separated from your body."

All of us go to the wall, and this time it collapses. We all emerge from the dust and rubble.

"We're out, mother." I say, "Let's go and stop Yalana from taking the throne.

To be continued after the TWQ...

Trouble On Wondawowman (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Erika Hernandez

As Captain of the USS Rhode Island, I usually rely on them to beam us about when I get into these little bothers, but as it got called away, it looks like we are going to have to do this ourselves.

We are on Ensign Karena's home planet of Wondawowman with her husband Wesley Crusher, the amazon Juliana and my lecherous Commander Mark Hathaway. Karena's mother has been placed under house arrest, and it looks like some troublesome amazons are preparing to put Karena's sister Nexa, who is a bit of a handful on the throne. We have just met up with her.

---------




"You are a traitor, sister." Karena says angrily as they eye each other face to face, like a pair of gunfighters in a 'b' movie western, "When this is over, my mother will punish you severly."

"That is hardly likely to happen, sister." Nexa retorts, "I shall exile her to a friendly planet, where she can live out her days in peace there. Meanwhile, things will go on as normal, except I'll be the Queen and sitting on the throne, with my faithful friends Felicia, Yorga and Yalana as my trusted ministers."

Felicia steps forward and gives a discreet cough.

"That's not quite the plan, Nexa." she says, "We plan to have someone else as Queen."

"What do you mean?" Nexa shouts, "We all agreed..."

"I sense the plot is starting to unravel." I whisper to Mark.

As the amazons argue, a beautiful woman in white steps forward.



Felicia bends down in servitude. Karena looks in disgust.

"Yalana!" she exclaims, "Is it you who is trying to take my mother's throne?"

"I shall be the Queen of Wondawowman in a couple of days." she declares regally, "All the amazons will serve me. Those who do not will be executed."

"You said I would be Queen!" protests Nexa.

"Surely you don't think I would want any of your family to continue to rule?" Yalana laughs, "That was merely said to get you to agree to put your mother under house arrest. You, your sister, and your mother, along with your friends here will be executed on the eve of my coronation."

With that, we are led away. Talk about having a bad day.

To be continued.....

------------------------


Editors Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

The Queen's Meme #7 ~ Message In A Bottle

Welcome to the Queen's Meme #7.

Today we're going to take a mini-vacation before summer gets away from us.
I hope you have fun with this!

And please, stay out of the dungeon.

Somewhere in a faraway bloggiverse on an island with a palm tree swaying in the breeze, a message bottle sits side by side with a Pina Colada and a cute little striped umbrella horizontally tilted in the beachy sand.
Did YOUR bottle make it to land? Have you checked lately?

There are now 285 bottles floating in the bloggy ocean just waiting to be mysteriously delivered to a tropical island near you. It's time you added yours!

Here are the rules:
You are about to send a virtual Message In a Bottle across the Blog Ocean.
Leave a message in the sand or on the bottle. Write anything you wish. Be a pirate or a poet. Serious or silly. Rant or ruminate.
Anonymous or not.
What message would you like to send out to the universe?

Message In A Bottle Meme

1. Compose a message to place in your virtual bottle below.
It can even be ANONYMOUS message.
I will not reveal your identity.

2. Right click and Save the graphic below

3. Use a graphics program of your choice to place the message on the picture

4. Post the meme and these rules on your blog

6. Tag a minimum of five people - or your entire blogroll - to do the same.
Notify them of the tag.


Your virtual bottle will remain afloat in the blogosphere ocean for all blogernity (That's a Mimism for blog + eternity.)I will add it to the master list of message bottles when you let me know you've completed the meme.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'M ASKING YOU TO TAG. PLEASE DO!

I will also add it to Message In a Bottle blog with a link back to you.

How To Stay Out Of The Dungeon


Once upon a time in a faraway Bloggiverse there lived a maiden named Queen Mimi Pencil Skirt. She slayed her own dragons, stoked her own fire and well.....wrote memes by the light of the Bloggingham moon. One day a kind blogger from England noticed her meme lovin' ways and royally crowned her Mimi Queen of Memes. As time passed in the peaceful kingdom of Bloggingham, her Royal Highness found comfort in the company of fellow bloggers who also loved memes. But the Queen had a wicked disposition too. It is widely reported in historical Blogosphere archives that any and all bloggers found guilty of not completing their memes were promptly thrown into the dreaded Bloggingham dungeon.
If I were you, I'd do the meme





Editor's Note: I don't tag people, but invite all readers to join in Mimi's request.

Trouble On Wondawowman (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Wesley Crusher

When I'm on the USS Rhode Island with my honeybunch wife Karena, I like thinks just to be tranquil and calm. That's not what they are right now.

She and I, along with Captain Erika Hernandez, Commander Mark Hathaway and Karena's friend Juliana are going through the forest of her home planet Wondawowman to the main city. It seems that Karena's mischievous sister Nexa has been persuaded to try and take the throne of her mother Queen Diana, who is under house arrest. We are here to put things right.

---------

"How much further is it?" groans Commander Hatherway, "My feet are killing me. These Starfleet boots were not designed to walk through this sort of terrain."

"Stop whining, Mark." replies the Captain, "You're always complaining about something, just like you did last week when the bedspring broke."

She goes slightly red in the face when she mentions this, and the Commander smiles.

"Nearly there, pumpkin." Karena says as she turns to me, "We will have to decide what to do."

"Well, I'll have my spear ready." Juliana declares firmly.

"As will I." Karena confirms.

I get concerned.

"Now then, ladies." I say, "Hopefully we can solve this diplomatically."

Juliana snorts with derision, and we walk on, with the Commander still eyeing the amazon in her skimpy outfit. Every so often, Captain Hernandez gives him a kick.

We reach the outskirts of the city and we are met by a hostile force led by one woman.



"Felicia." sneers Karena, "I never liked you. Even when we were growing up, you were the class bully in amazon school. You were jealous that I was a Princess."

"That's true, Karena." she replies, "You never had the qualities of a real Royal Amazon."

"She's more royal than anyone." Juliana tells Felicia.

Felicia looks pityingly at her.

"Juliana." she comments dismissively, "You were always simpering with Karena. Trying to be her friend. Yalana and I always ruled amazon school with Nexa."

"There seems to be a lot of past resentments boiling up." whispers the Captain to Hathaway.

We hear an approaching sound.



"Greetings, sister." says Nexa, "You are looking at the next Queen of Wondawowman."

To be continued...

TWQ: TV Vices

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) is asking about tv programmes you don't admit to watching.

If you were at an upmarket party, and were asked about what television you saw recently, are there some that you would not admit to viewing?

My answer is:

Probably Wife Swap would be one I wouldn't admit to seeing. Some of the awful families on there make it good viewing!

Now it's over to you...

Trouble On Wondawowman (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Karena

There is a constitutional crisis on the amazonian planet of Wondawowman, where I come from. I group of amazons are planning to depose my mother, Queen Diana, and put my mischievous sister Nexa on the throne instead. The USS Rhode Island is rushing to help and sort it out diplomatically.

Why can't things run normally for a change? I'll have to sharpern my spear, I think.

-----------

Captain Eika Hernandez, Commander Mark Hathaway, Wes and myself beam down, hopefully in order to sort this out. As we walk through the forest to the main city, we are greeted by a huge woman, who bars our way.



"Wh..whoever's that." whispers Wes in my ear, "She has muscles on her muscles."

I tell him to relax.

"So you have gone over to the other side, Vorga?" I say sternly, "I should have guessed a troublemaker like you would. The Queen was always having to discipline you."

"She won't be Queen much longer, Karena." Vorga sneers at us, "Right now, she is under house arrest, waiting to be exiled. The we shall have Queen Nexa to rule over us. What a glorious time that will be."

I rush forward to her, and take her by surprise. The two of us go down and after a scuffle, she is knocked unconsious.

"Well done, Ensign." says the Captain, "Let's go to the main city."

A little while later, we hear the sound of running water and soon get to see what it is.

One of the amazons is walking in the lake near the waterfall.



Commander Hathaway's eyes pop out as he sees her, as he seems to think it's Christmas and his birthday all together. As the Captain nudges him, I have to give Wes a nudge as he gasps in amazement.

"Hello, Juliana." I say calmly to her. She turns around and smiles in relief.

"Oh Karena!" says the blonde haired beauty, "Things have been so difficult here. Vorga, Felicia and Yalana have been causingb trouble. They've tried to convince Nexa that the Queen needs replacing, and she believes it. They've but the Queen under house arrest."

"Yes." I say, "But that won't be for long."

"Ensign" says the Captain, "We came to sort it out diplomatically, I don't think we can..."

"We have to, Captain." I say without hesitation, and gripping my spear, "This is my home planet. Are you with me?"

She and Hathaway look at each other, nod, and the five of us head for the main city.

To be continued after the next TWQ...

Trouble On Wondawowman (Part One)

Guest Poster: Karena

I've just had to fetch Commander Mark Hathaway out of the brig. He tends to spend a lot of time there, usually whenever Captain Erika Hernandez catches him in the arms of another woman.

All right, the top two Officers on the USS Rhode Island are not supposed to fratenise in that way, but everybody on the ship knows it goes on. Nobody wants to go and report it to Starfleet, unless they want to spend a lifetime cleaning out warp conduits.

I approach the Captain's quarters, and she comes out.



"All right, Ensign." she says to me, "I'll take over from here. By the way, we are heading to your home planet of Wondawowman. Your mother, Queen Diana has explained the reason to me. She will call again in 45 minutes to tell you."

With that, she takes the Commander by the hand and leads him into her room. The door closes and I hear the sound of heavy kisses.

It looks like the Captain has forgiven the Commander for his transgressions.

But what's going on at home? I grab my spear and run to the quarters I share with my husband, Wesley Crusher.

-------



"You're overreacting, honeybunch." Wes says to me, "I'm sure it's very trivial."

"I don't, pumpkin." I reply, as I slam my spear on the floor, "The Rhode Island doesn't just change course for my planet for no reason whatsoever."

The time approaches, and my mother's face appears on the screen. She looks rather concerned.



"Daughter." she says solemnly, "I fear that there are ill winds over our society."

"What do you mean, mother?" I ask desperately. Sometimes it can be hard getting a straight answer.

"There has been a rebellious faction building up amongst the amazons." she continues, "They wish to have me deposed."

I am shocked. No one has ever tried to depose the Queen of the Amazons in all the centuries they have been in place. It's a bigger shock than if I ever heard that Commander Hathaway intended to remain faithful to the Captain.

"Who would they have in your place, Mother?" I ask.

"That's the worst part, daughter." she says, "Your sister, the mischievous Nexa."

To be continued....

--------------


Editors Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

We're up early this week.
Welcome back to The Queen's Tuesday Meme. Each week the type of meme will change; sometimes silly, sometimes serious, but always fun!

This meme is all about using your imagination. Free your inner blogginess. Step outside the proverbial blox (that's blog + box for all you non-blog speakers). Answer these ridiculous situational questions and post them on your own blog. Here's the situation for today. We won't tell a soul. And remember:
Don't end up in the dungeon

#6 The Bachelor's Dating Meme

In honor of my 500th "Bachelor of The Day" to post this week on my site called Dating Profile Of The Day we bring you The Dating Meme. For three years I've been rummaging through online dating profiles to find the zaniest and most ridiculous profile headlines out there. They write 'em. I spoof 'em. Do you know that some folks are grammatically insane?? And some are just insane.

Ergo, today's meme was born.

Are you up for the challenge? Take a look at these seven dating profile headlines from real dating sites. Imagine you are trying to find a date and these gems have just landed in your inbox. How would you respond to them? Write a comeback response to each one. Be sarcastic, be funny, be brave! Spelling errors not my own. Names and locations have been changed to protect the terminally single. If you need inspiration, go HERE for hundreds of funny examples.


1. Birdbrain looking for a mate.

This candidate is for the birds!

2. Where Are All The Bad Girls?

Hiding behind a fence until you've gone away, I should think!

3. A Good Woman Is Hard To Fine

Especially if you're a police officer...this one needs to be put in the slammer!

4. Does God Know You've Escaped From Heaven?

I don't think it was heaven that this guy escaped from. Send for the men in white coats!

5. I Put the Fun in DysFUNctional

And he put the moron into oxymoron.

6. Does this profile make me look fat?

No, but your body sure does!

7. I'm a no nonsince person with little tolorrance for stupitity

Lit me spill it owt too yoo....forget it!!!!

Good luck! And thank you for playing The Queen's Tuesday Meme.

How To Stay Out Of The Dungeon

Once upon a time in a faraway Bloggiverse there lived a maiden named Queen Mimi Pencil Skirt. She slayed her own dragons, stoked her own fire and well.....wrote memes by the light of the Bloggingham moon. One day a kind blogger from England noticed her meme lovin' ways and royally crowned her Mimi Queen of Memes. As time passed in the peaceful kingdom of Bloggingham, her Royal Highness found comfort in the company of fellow bloggers who also loved memes. But the Queen had a wicked disposition too. It is widely reported in historical Blogosphere archives that any and all bloggers found guilty of not completing their memes were promptly thrown into the dreaded Bloggingham dungeon.
If I were you, I'd do the meme

TWQ: Your Hippie Group At Woodstock

As the Woodstock festival took place 40 years ago this week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) is asking what you would be calling yourself there if you were playing.

What hippie-ish name would you give to your rock group if you were playing at Woodstock in 1969?

My answers are:

Zack Garden and The Flower Children

or maybe

The Magic Mushrooms

Now it's over to you.....don't step in the mud!

Body Swap (Part Five)

This is Jean-Luc Picard...STILL in the body of Deanna Troi!



The holographic doctor has patched me together after I was beaten to a pulp by Bev. She thought Deanna and I were having an affair, while in truth we were discussing what to do about the body-swap that happened on Arkos IV. Deanna and I descovered an artifact that transferred our minds. It said we could not talk about it except to each other.

As a result, Bev has thumped me while I'm in Troi's body, accusing me of having an affair with Jean-Luc!

What a mess.

"Let's go to Ten Forward." I say to Deanna, "Bev has a duty shift on SickBay, so she won't be there."

The two of us arrive there. I order a Klingon Ale. Guinan raises an eyebrow and looks surprised.



"That's a little strong for you, isn't it, Deanna." Guinan says to me, "You don't usually have that...except for that incident last Christmas which you asked me not to mention."

I look at Deanna, who is in my body, and she blushes.

"Hold on, honey." Guinan comments, "Something isn't right here. I can feel it. My El-Aurian senses detect that your aura isn't right."

Then she turns to Deanna.

"And YOU, Jean-Luc." she continues, "Your aura is different as well. In fact, I think you have one another's....you're in different bodies!"

"We can't say, Guinan." Deanna tells her.



Bev comes in angrily.

"I've left the holographic doctor in charge of the SickBay." she shout, "This time BOTH of you are going to get thumped!"

I start to get very warm and overheat....then I fall to the ground. The last thing I see is Deanna doing the same.

---------

I wake up shortly after to see Bev kissing me....and Deanna back in her own body!

"Guinan and Deanna have told me what happened." she says, "I saw a shimmer between the two of you cross over when you fainted. It must have been your auras swapping back."

"Bev, I'm so sorry, I couldn't tell you." I say, "We would have been locked in each other's bodies."

"Well now that you're back in this one." Bev laughs, "We'll have that long-awaited date."

"And I'll let Will catch me tonight, instead of running away like you did." adds Deanna.

Body Swap (Part Four)

This is Jean-Luc Picard...but my mind is in the body of Deanna Troi!



It started when the two of us found an artifict on Arkos IV that swapped our minds into each others body. The machine said the effect would wear off in time, but if we talked anyone except each other about it, there would be a psychological lock in our minds that would make the effect permanant.

-----------

As a result, Deanna has had to take control of the ship in my form, while I've had to learn how to walk in high heels and also listen to some secrets in my role as Counselor. believe you me, there are some things I've heard people confess to while listening to their problems that would make your hair stand on end. not that I can say anything, though, of course. Doctor-patient confidentiality.

I've been getting some funny looks from Bev, as well, as she is convinced that Deanna and I are having an affair, due to the fact that the two of us have had to meet in secret to discuss the problem. Not only that, I have had to fend of the attentions of Will Riker, as Deanna, in my form, has been trying to get away from Bev.

"What are we gonna do?" Deanna says to me in a secluded moment, "The effect shows no sign of wearing off. Last night, Beverly came up to me and kissed me passionately, saying she kisses much better than the Troi woman."

"What did you do then?" I reply.

"I went red, ran off down the corridor, and hid in a Jeffries tube until she vanished."

I smile while thinking of this scenario, until I hear the march of heels in the corridor and the door flings open.



"I thought I'd find you two here!" she shouts, then looks at me, "Well we're going to settle this right here and now, Troi."

"It's not what you think, Bev." I say to her, "We just can't say anything because..."

"Ha!" Bev laughs, "I've heard that line before. Get out, Jean-Luc. Troi and I have got something to settle."

Deanna, in my body, scurries out as fast as she can.

Bev looks firmly at me.

"I should have guessed this would happen, Troi." she says, rolling up her sleeves, "Although I thought you were a friend of mine, especially after all we've been through."

"Bev." I say, "I don't want to hurt..."

She comes towards me and thumps me in the eye, and hits me in the stomach. The impact sends me down on the floor. Bev kicks me repeatly and leaps on me, tearing at my hair.

BANG!! THWACK!! THUMP!!

Eventually, Bev gets up, and smiles with satisfaction.

"That'll teach you to mess with my man!" she smirks, and walks out of the room.

I stagger up, trying to stop the bleeding through my torn uniform, go over to the mirror and see the two black eyes I have.

Deanna creeps back in.

"Has she gone?" she says, then screams at my appearance.

"Don't worry." I tell her, "I'll go to the SickBay and get cleaned up right away. It might be a good idea if I get the holographic doctor to do it. I don't think Bev will be too keen."

To be continued...

Editors Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

The Queen's Meme #5: The Woodstock Meme: I Dig It!

Forty years ago this week, three days of peace, love and rock 'n roll (and mud) happened near Bethel, New York. It was the Summer of 1969.
Attire: Hippie jeans. Long hair. Legal or illegal smoke. Psychedelic vibe.

The scene: You are at Woodstock. You go alone but meet up with a beautiful man/woman. You spend three days together.
Put yourself inside the peace & love vibe. You can choose to be stoned or straight. I put it in the story for the sake of reality. Just don't inhale in this meme.
This is the conversation you have upon meeting or you can make it into what you overhear others say.
It makes no sense and has no continuity by design.
You must fill in the familiar blanks to finish the story. Some are song lyrics. You may use more than one word to fill in the blanks.

Oh! I forgot to tell you (must be the smoke in here) You have a new name. It must a combination of the first letter of your first name, the third letter of your middle name and the last letter of your last name.
Peace out! Somebody might wanna turn on a fan in here.

1. "Hello, my groovy name is Gur (not very groovy is it?)

By the looks of those flowers in your hair, you must be a gravedigger.
Didn't they tell you? No shovels allowed!


2. Come on, Baby, light my beard.

When I lay me down to claim benefits I pray the man will give my money to keep.

If I wake before I wake, I pray the trip I'm taking won't be my last to take.
**puff puff**

3. Because the first time ever I saw your far out face I realized that what the world needs now is a groovy sweet babe. Besides, I always feel guilty watching you meditate when I should be claiming benefit.
But I dig it!

4. Have I told you lately that I dig you? Hey! Don't step on that flower child !!
Dude. That guy is really weird but.....

5. There's a party in my sleeping bag and half a million of my hippie friends are coming over tonight and we're gonna rock my baby off my mind. Darn the luck. It's raining Sonny's (s) and Chers_____ (s)
Luckily, Papa was a rolling joint and I'm on a first name basis with the cops.
**puff puff**

6. I'm really digging your threads but that earwig has got to go. Those flowers in your hair are beginning to smell like an unkempt garden.
Have I told you lately that I uuhhh..the drug has made me forget... you?
** puff puff**


7. I'm beginning to see leaves in those trees over there. Do you see it?
Out of all the millions of hippies here, you are the most weirdest, most normal babe.

But I dig it, man.

**puff puff**

8. I'd use all my blood, sweat and alimony cheques just to get next to your tent.

Love is free but I'd really like to buy that guy's chequebook.
It says "Make a mess not make amends. " Far out!


9. I'm grateful to be a record producer 'cause there's a bad song rising in Jefferson's Airplane. But that's okay, 'cause Joe Cocker said I could get by with a little punch from my friends.

10. Oh, by the way, your van is on fire. But I dig it.


** You might stay out of the dungeon if you post a picture of yourself or someone you know in your hippie clothes (if you're old enough)**

TWQ: Books?

TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks a simple question this week....

What book (or books) are you currently reading? What is on your 'to read' list.

My answers are:

Currently, I'm reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picault. I've just finished the stunning autobiography by Frances Farmer called Will There Really Be A Morning?

Other books I have to read are:

The Other Queen by Philippa Gregory
Meridan by Philippa Gregory
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke
Sacred Hearts by Sarah Durant
Handle With Care by Jodi Picault

Now it's over to you...

Body Swap (Part Three)

Editor's Note:

When Captain Picard and Deanna discovered an ancient machine, a beam of light shot out and swapped their minds into the other's body. They were also told that the effect would wear off if they don't tell anyone about it. If they do, a psychological lock will make the effect permanant. The two have been struggling to ensure that the rest of the crew do not find out.

---------



Guest Poster: Will Riker

Something strange is going on!

The Cap and Deanna haven't been themselves since they return from Arkos IV. I've asked both of them, yet they've both given be the same sort of guilty "Nothing at all." comment.

Bev comes up to me.



"Will." she says quietly, "Is it okay if I talk to you in private. It's about Jean-Luc...I mean the Captain?"

"I think I know what you're going to say." I reply, "I've been thinking about Deanna as well."

"Really?" she answers, "Well it seems that Jean-Luc tried everything to get out of going to our date the other night, though I know he had been looking forward to it for a while. He had the nerve to tell me that he had to wash his hair for an important meeting."

I try not to laugh at this remark.

"Deanna has given me some absurd excuses as well." I tell her, "She told me she had a headache whenever it was time for our date, but was all right the rest of the day. Oddly enough, she keeps falling over with the high heels she wears. You should have seen the look she gave me when I squeezed her bottom this morning!"

"Yes." Beverly confirms, "It seems that every time there is a chance for us to be er....together, the Captain wants to get away as fast as possible. It looks like something happened on Arkos IV when they went down to look at an artifact. You don't think they decided to errr....?"

"I can't imagine it." I say, "Although the two of them have been whispering together as much as possible. I wonder what they are saying to each other? Deanna has been faithful to me....except for Worf, as the Captain is to you."

Beverly grows moody.

"If he is cheating on me, he'll feel my wraith!" shouts Beverly.

There's nothing like an angry redhead!

To be continued after the TWQ...

Body Swap (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi......in the body of Jean-Luc Picard



To say I'm not myself today is quite an understatement!

After the Captain and I went to visit an ancient machine on Arkos IV, a beam shot out and swapped our miinds into each others bodies. We were told by the machine not to talk about it to anyone but each other, or the effect would be permanant. Eventually it will wear off if we keep quiet.

------------

The two of us walk back to the beam-up point. I start to sniffle.

"Look, Deanna." says the Captain in my usual voice, "Well just have to try and get round this. Don't let anyone be aware of the situation. You have Commander status, so you should be able to handle the ship. If you come across any problems, just say you need to see the Counselor. Remember not to cry and sniffle. It won't look good."

I put the tissue away.

"What about Will Riker and Bev?" I ask.

The Captain, who had been learning to walk in high heels after falling over several times, stops.

"We could have some difficulty there." he tells me, "We'll have to avoid them as much as possible."

-------------

As we beam up on board, Riker tells us that some hostile aliens are approaching, and that we need to defend Arkos IV. As we head towards the Bridge, a face appears.



"Welcome back, Jean-Luc." Bev says to me with a smile, and gives me a long lingering kiss. As she pins me against the wall, I can't escape.

"That's a different sort of kiss than your usual." she tells me, then whispers, "But I'll look forward to more on our date tonight."

Bev wals off in a different direction and I catch up with the Captain.

"Bev just kissed me and reminded me that I have a date with her tonight." I tell him.

"You think you had it bad?" the Captain replies, his face reddening through the make-up on his face, "Riker just squeezed my bottom and said he and I had a date as well! I hope this effect wears off soon!"

------

We all get on the Bridge, and I sit in the Captain's Chair, with Jean-Luc sitting to my left, feeling very uncomfortable in my dress.



"What's the situation errr...Number One?" I say to Will.

"Three Harkannon ships are heading this way, with enough firepower to destroy the Enterprise and the planet, Captain. We need good tactics here."

I look to see that Worf is awaiting my instructions. My mind goes blank, as it does when I'm not sure what dress to buy in a mall.

I look at the Captain to my left, who quietly whispers an attack sequence in my ear.

"Errr..attack Omega Delta VI." I command. At that, Worf sends the ship towards them, and all ships are destroyed, with no harm to our ship.

"That was brilliant, Captain." Riker says, "I wouldn't have thought of that manouvre."

A trickier manouvre will be getting out of our dates with Beverly and Will!

To be continued...

--------------------

Editors Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

The Queen's Meme #4:

Welcome to WBLOG TV

The place where unbloggable news happens and sources are never a secret. You are the creator, producer, writer and news anchor of the WBLOG nightly news. It is your job to deliver the news in your own style from your own blog.

And oh, you get to make up the news! Here's your assignment:


1. The Weather Channel: Give me your personality forecast. Are you sunny, wet, windy, or cloudy? Why?

Bright often, but has cloudy moments. Doesn't like a lot of drips. When hard work is mentions, I run away like lightning.

2. The News Channel: What is the breaking news story of the day in your world?

BREAKING NEWS TO THE NATION: The council have come and repaired our road!!!

3. The Economic Channel: How are things on the economic front? And more importantly, do you have ideas to save the planet from financial ruin?

Time to start digging in the sofa for more coins! We definately need to hold an Economic Summit, preferably in Barbados.

4. The Entertainment Channel: Give us the latest blog celebrity gossip. Dish it!

Well, dont tell anyone, but ------------ is having a secret relationship with with ---------- when she goes and makes a film!

5. The Sports Channel: Make up a sport, give your team a name and choose five players from the list of names on the Mr. Linky list. What are the rules of the game?

The team are Linky's Layabouts. The sport is called Computer Couch Potatoes. They have to play against another team to see how long they can blog without falling asleep on the keyboard. My team are: Mimi Lenox, Twisted Sister, Psychic Mama, Angelia and Bud Weiser

6. The Comedy Channel: How will you make us laugh today? Tell us a blunny (that's blog + funny for all you non-blog speakers)

Queen Mimi says "Is it cruel in baseball to say they have hit a homer?

7. The Religious Channel: Make up a blog religion. Tell us why your blog church will save our souls.

The Church of Spray (let us spray): Our motto: If you think you've sinned, you should see our Minister!

8. (but who's counting?) The Soap Opera Channel: What is the name of your soap opera?

Hard Cash: It's all about some crooked bankers...very true to life!

Body Swap (Part One)

Bev always tells me that I like to look at old ruins becuse I'm one myself!

You've got to admit, the lady has a sense of humour. I guess that's why the two of us have been together for so long.

"What are you smiling at, Captain?" asks Deanna as we beam down to the planet Arkos IV.

"Nothing, Counselor." I reply, just thinking of something someone told me."

Deanna are here because of the discovery of an unknown artifact. As the Enterprise was nearby, and due to the fact that I tend to boast about my archaeological skills at parties, I was summoned to take a look.

Perhaps I should keep my mouth quiet?

We beam down and are greeted by an Arkonian



We do the usual boring introductions, where he tells me his name is Kalan.

"We found this artifact in a cave, Captain." Kalan tells us, "We believe it is a remnant from an earlier civilisation here."

He points the way. Deanna and I enter the cave to see what it looks like.



"It looks like a giant machine." Deanna says in awe, "I wonder what it does?"

"Don't go touching anything!" I warn her, "This machine might still be active."

Deanna goes up to the machine.

"Captain." she informs me, "There's a large red button here. I wonder if...."

Before I can stop the silly woman, a ray of light beams over us.

I start to feel a little shaky, turn to look at Deanna, but instead...I'm looking at myself! I now have Deanna's body!

"What's happened?" the figure says with my voice in horror, "I was Deanna...and now I'm the Captain!"

A voice booms out from the machine.

"You have sucessfully used the Body Swap O-Matic!" it booms out, "As always this will wear off in time, but if you discuss the situation with anyone but the person you have swapped with, the beam in your mind will cause you to stay permanantly in your new bodies."

Deanna starts to cry. I have to give her the tissue that I'm carrying in my err...female uniform."



"Let's examine the machine." I decide. "There must be a reverse option."

"I've just had a call from Will." Deanna says in her new deep masculine voice, "We've been called back to the Enterprise on an emergency.

We both groan.

To be continued...

TWQ: No-Go Shops

This weeks TWQ (The Weekend Question) is all about shops.



Are there any particular shops which you avoid going in, or don't spend money in? List as many as you wish.



My answers are:



Thinking that a shopper only gets what they pay for, I never go in 'cheap quality' shops like Poundland (everything less than £1), or Primark. I also don't buy in expensive shops like HMV, although I do look in it for ideas and buy it cheaper on Amazon!



Now it's over to you...