Going Public.... Yikes!

It's hard to believe that both my girls will be graduating from their schools in a couple of weeks.. My oldest from 8th grade and the youngest from 6th grade.. This is the last year they will be attending their private Christian school..... This fall they will be going public... yikes... No more uniforms... No more prayer... No more Christian values ( in the curriculum)...

Making this transition was a difficult decision to make... After much thought, prayer, and pro/con lists we believe that our decision is for the best.... We have learned that staying in a Christian school does not necessarily protect our kids from the "real" world.. In many ways - the kids can be just as awful... The teachers can be cold and distant... Having the title "Christian" does not instantly make a person warm and fuzzy.... Just look at me... I know that I can be very unpleasant.. just ask the husband... the kids.. and I'm on the women ministry team... lol...

The girls will be going away to college before we know it.... I will not be there to guide them... The next few years - I believe will give them the opportunity to make the right choices in a "mom safe" environment... It will give them the chance to stand up for what is right... Make new and exciting friends... Friends that can last a life time... at least that is my hope.... Another plus - is now the school tuition payments will be going towards the college funds....

I believe our decision was the right one and it's great to know that the girls are excited about this new chapter in their lives.... Now if we can slow down the clock.... they are growing up way too fast...... I am sooo NOT ready for college...

My Space Has Been Invaded!

I know this may sound like I am whining and I don't care! My space has been invaded and I DO NOT LIKE IT!!!! As you know, I run a business from my home office. My office is a great set up for me. I have 3 operational desks for assistants as I need them. I have a very busy office and at times it can be a little messy but the great thing about it being my office is that I know where everything is... if I am looking for a certain piece of paper - I know it would be in a stack of papers on the floor to the right of my desk... because why? IT'S MY OFFICE....

So - yesterday I had my appointment with my doctor of gynecologic oncology... You see - my regular gynecologist moved and I was without a girly doctor and because my girly stuff is complicated to say the least I needed a doctor that would not assume I am a hypochondriac - Yes - my body is a medical marvel... and when I go into detail - it just sounds down right crazy... Any hoo... I have had a pain that seemed to come from my left ovary and it radiates to my back... It does not hurt all the time but I can feel it all the time so - on Monday I had an ultrasound... the doctor reviewed my ultrasound and said my ovary is fine - so no idea why I'm in pain... He said since it's my left side it might be my bowels or I may never find out... great... In addition to that - the doctor was not Dr. Gentle... I am still sore.... So when I got home yesterday - I was NOT in the best of moods...

When I walked into my office - my desk was cleared of ALL my papers and folders... My neat stacks on the floor - GONE.. My boxes of files GONE and the desks and floors polished and washed.... I about LOST IT!!!! You see - the husband is using one of my desks in his hunt for a job... He started out by taking out my files and such out of the desk he is BORROWING.. <= key word.. I bit my tongue on that one... My "messy" office bothered him so while I was away he took over and cleaned it and now I cannot find a thing....

Instead of thanking him - I yelled at him.... I let ALL the stress I have been feeling out... My personal space gone - My health concerns - His job concerns - Are we moving? Are we staying? Too much work and not enough time.. Everything out in one big huge out of control explosion... and he just looked at me... No words... Just complete and utter shock.... The poor guy thought he was doing a nice thing... even though I asked him in the past to not move the stuff around... He did not hear what I said... all he saw was a "mess" and there you go...

Note - of course I did apologize for my out of control yell-fest... But I will not apologize for being angry - there are things in our lives... our businesses that are to be left alone - especially when asked.... What do you think?

** picture from flicker/yahoo

Tuesday Was A Great Night For TV

Last night was a great night for TV - watching the final three (3) American Idols compete - I can confidently say that Lee DeWyze will be the Winner.... When he sang Hallelujah - I had tears running down my face - he was amazing... The crowd and judges went nuts... I have never seen such a reaction.... I love Crystal Bowersox too - she will go far in her career.. but Lee has consistently out-sang her for the past four (4) weeks.... Casey has lost his touch.... He is stuck in the same singing zone and he can't find his way out....

My new favorite show Glee came on - this week did not disappoint - Neil Patrick Harris guest starred - that guy is funny.... but I can't help but think I'm watching Doogie Howser... The music was great once again... I tried to find the video of last night but it's not up yet.. too bad..
Click here to watch the entire episode....

Listen to Lee sing - don't forget to have a tissue ready...

Today I Will Wallow - Tomorrow I Will Move On...

Do you ever wonder when you will get a break? You know the kind where something just goes your way... No drama... No waiting... No problem... No raised hopes only to be burned to the ground... Today - I am really angry and I will wallow....

This is what I am angry about: A few weeks ago - an executive from a company in my husband's field - discovered that my husband was available... He called the husband and started selling hard on a position that just become available... He said that he knew my husband for the past 23 years.. knew that he would be perfect for it.. He said that it was His decision on who to hire... He said he wanted the husband out there immediately to meet (not interview) all the team players.... After the last interview - we were told he had great feedback and he'll have an offer by the end of the week -whether it was verbal or written... That was in April... All of a sudden - the executive emails the husband and states that he is really sorry but he has to interview a couple of internal candidates (they posted the job after my husband was contacted - company policy to post) and to hang tight - the hiring will be pushed back 2 weeks... So our life has been virtually on hold - due to the fact that we were made to believe this was basically a done deal after the last interview.... and it would be a waste of time for the husband to interview the other leads he had going... Big mistake....

Today received an email - saying that a decision has not been made yet but..... the internal candidates look really good and the company prefers to hire from within if possible... Now - I completely understand this part.... What makes me angry is that why did he not interview the internal candidates first by following the company policy and if he wasn't happy with that selection then have my husband go out... What I am angry about is the husband was told that he was the choice.. and now he may not be.... It's not the job - I am angry about - it's the wasted time... the raised up hopes of possibly moving 2000 miles away...

I know I am suppose to say things like - God knows what's best for us... (I have said it many times) and He does... But that doesn't make me less angry... or frustrated... The husband still might get the job.. who know...? But today - I am going to wallow in my anger - so tomorrow I will be done and I can move on and help the husband to move on.. I need to be strong for him... I need to be steadfast.... I need to be supportive... I need to look up.... We I just need a break....

Running Around Like A Chicken

Growing up my mom used to say - "I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off" - Growing up on a farm - she had experienced this crazy phenomenon...

Well as you know - I've Become My Mother! and I can honestly say that this week - "I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off!" Thankfully I do not have the visual to support this thought.... What I can say is that I am going in a thousand different directions - trying to maintain a business, be a mother to two incredibly busy teens, and be a supportive wife... Most weeks... most days are great - I can honestly say I love my life... I am truly blessed... But there are days that I would love to just stick my head in the sand and hide... I'm sure you know the feeling....

This waiting is not bringing out the best in me... The extreme highs and lows of the wait are difficult to say the least... I do trust God to know what's best for me.. best for us as a family. That is not an issue... But my desire for an adventure is... My desire to know things RIGHT NOW is.....

So this week - we have been preparing ourselves for what may come.... Cleaning out rooms... shredding 20 year old tax returns.. (Yep, I don't throw much away), remodeling the kids' bathroom (new tile, sink, and vanity)... While still running a busy business... still obtaining new clients... still helping with homework, still cooking dinner, and still just being a mom... a wife... a woman...

So what am I going to do today? I cooking chicken of course...

Mad World - Musical Monday - What Moves You? | Kelly's Ideas

Mad World - Musical Monday - What Moves You? | Kelly's Ideas

Coca-Cola Happiness Machine | Kelly's Ideas

Coca-Cola Happiness Machine | Kelly's Ideas

Excuses Of A Teenage Girl

Me: Why did you get a C- on your math test?
Teen: Well, all my friends were in DC......
Me: Huh?

Teen: I can't go to bed at 11:00 PM - I have too much homework.
Me: You don't have too much homework - you were too busy watching You Tube
Teen: I only watched You Tube a little - I was on Facebook and then I watched 'The OC'
Me: What's the rule?
Teen: Homework first.
Me: So Why was it not done first?
Teen: I forgot....

Me: Why were you arguing with Joe ( a neighborhood boy)
Teen: I told him he was a fat jerk.
Me: Why would you say that?
Teen: He was bothering me and he said I had thunder thighs..
Me: Before or after you called him a fat jerk?
Teen: After....

Me: Why is your drain clogged again?
Teen: I don't know.
Me: You need to stop putting toilet paper in the sink....
Teen: I don't do that anymore....

She was right...... it was her hair... ewwwww

Taking Care Of The 'Just In Case'

As a mom of two kids - my husband and I felt it was necessary to have a few things done right away... Get a will set up.... Pick guardians that love our kids... and get life insurance so our children would never be without... When we first started this process we had no idea where to begin....

Getting an estate planner to handle the will was pretty basic... But life insurance - not so easy to figure out... When we first started investigating what life insurance was... there were many decisions to make... such as... Did we want term life or whole life...? How much did we want to spend... for how much coverage... What companies were reputable. We had so many questions...

The first thing we had to do was start at the beginning... How do we find life insurance quotes? Quotes for Term life... Quotes for whole life... We needed to find a way to educate ourselves about life insurance so that we can make the right decision. After we determined what direction we wanted to go we needed to get life insurance quote comparisons.. Again - that is a difficult thing to do if you did not know where to go....

We were lucky to find http://www.lifeinsurancequotes.net - it took the hassle of going through the many search engines - trying to find a few good companies.. then having to talk to salespeople who wanted our business but would take too much time away from my day.... I am not the most patient person - so getting life insurance quotes at my finger tips was more my style....

If you are in the market for affordable life insurance - check them out.... I am glad we did... I think it is so important to be prepared for the "Just in Case" things that can happen but pray that they don't... I can tell you from personal experience - knowing that all of this stuff is done - it takes a worry out of traveling...a worry out of just in case something happens to us - I know my kids are covered at least financially and are with people who love them...

Are We Staying Or Going????

We are on week two (2) of "Are We Staying In California or Are We Going To Tennessee" It's funny the peaks and valleys you hit when you are waiting for something.... When you are waiting for an answer that can potentially change your life.....

Last week I decided to stop watching the pot... I decided to stop thinking about it... Of course that is much easier said than done... Especially when you have a husband that does not know how to sit still... So far - he has cleaned out our three (3) car garage... he has cleaned out the game room..... His side of the closet... and today - he has tackled the kitchen pantry and cabinets.... If anything else - I will have a very organized home after this.....

What drives me crazy is trying to read into messages... What I mean by this - is that - When this whole process started - the hiring guy was selling my husband on the benefits of working for his company and living in the South.... We had never in our wildest dreams ever thought about or considered living in the South... not by a long shot.... But you know what, after the selling and the husband spending a week out there he was sold... He warmed to the idea.... The husband was the ONLY candidate and that was great until........

Company politics entered the picture.... Okay - now - the company had to post the position - of course we understand that... The hiring guy was obviously bummed about this change of events and advised the husband to hang on tight for the next couple of weeks.... Due to the fact three (3) applicants have applied for the position..... It is very difficult for hubby to even think about continuing the job search.... he has decided to wait it out and see what happens.... It's hard to apply and interview for other positions when there is a strong possibility that you will be hired for a different one.... It's hard to present yourself to other potential employers when your mind is on another opportunity....

Today - We He got a message from his potential employer basically stating that the interviews are taking place this week and they will be going through the same interview process that he had and that the hiring guy should have more of an answer by the end of the week... Okay -now I am trying to read between the lines... looking for clues... Yes, I have completely gone insane... Don't you just Hate Not knowing?????

My To Do List - Women Only Style

This month I decided to get the things I hate to do out of the way.... I am so late on these tasks and if we do move out of California - I would absolutely hate to go to a stranger..

I am guessing this list will be for Women Only - whenever I mention girly stuff to my husband - he still squirms.. you would think after 21 years of marriage and two daughters he would be immune..... funny boy.

My yearly look see with my gynecologist.... Okay - I'm late on this check up.. about five (5) months late.... I do have a good excuse kind of ... sort of.. You see my gynecologist quit... He just up and left one day to Minnesota or some foreign country like that.. So now I have to find a new gyno - but in the mean time I made an appointment with my oncologist gynecologist....

About six (6) years ago - I was diagnosed with a rare form of treatable cancer... But because of this - I am suppose to see a gynecologist every six months.... (I'm late...) What makes the appointments awful is this.. Not only do I have to put up with the metal crowbar with the god awful click to open areas that should be closed.... (I am always fearful I might sneeze..) The doctor performs a vinegar test on me... What that is - he saturates my vulva with vinegar and shines a bright light and uses a huge microscope to get a better look... (lights camera action)... What the vinegar does is turns any abnormal cells white... If there is something he does not like - then it's biopsy time... Let me tell you - when I walk out of the place - I go very slow.... man it hurts... I feel like I had won the lottery if I don't have a biopsy...

Ultrasound - In addition to the gynecologist appointment - I have an appointment for a trans vaginal ultrasound. As you can imagine that won't be fun... Years ago - I had a cyst on my left ovary - it was supposedly the kind that you get during ovulation - but now I feel it all the time... Sometimes it's very painful that radiates to my back and sometimes it's just a dull ache... Because of all my "girly" problems (and there are a lot) my oncologist has told me several times that whenever I am ready he could perform a hysterectomy to take away my pain... My excuse has always been I don't have time... Then when my monthly bill comes up - I curse myself for not having it done..... Not sure if now is a good time either... if we move...

Colonoscopy this a lot of fun! NOT.. Okay - I know I am only 44 years old and I really am not a hypochondriac... About 4 years ago - my family and I went to the Bahamas... While there I noticed blood in my stool... At first is was a little and then it got pretty heavy... When we got back to the states - my doctor had me get a colonoscopy - What was found was three (3) very large polyps - the kind that can turn into cancer - They even gave me pictures (no, I will not share them -ick) ... Thankfully they were all removed... I went the following year and one was found and removed. I was told to come back in two (2) years... Well two (2) years was last September... What is awful about this - is not really the test... I'm sleeping during it or I don't remember it... What is awful is the prep work the day before.... drinking thick snotty water that is suppose taste like lime... and cleaning out the bowels... YUCK!!!

So I have been the great procrastinator and now is the time to take action... I'm guessing that after everything is done... I will breathe a sigh of relief - knowing that all is done.....

Do You Know What It Is?????

On my desk I have a little jar.... This little jar is always in front of me.... I have this little jar below my monitor because I spend most of my days in front of it... What is in this jar is a constant reminder to me....... A reminder that I want to be a pleasing aroma to those I know... those I meet... and mostly to God.... What I mean by a pleasing aroma is not my actual body scent (although I hope that I am appealing).... but the way I present myself.... The way I live my life..



If you look in the jar you will see many little "pebbles" of various sizes and shapes... The aroma of these pebbles is a beautiful spicy mixture.... An aroma you will not find here in America....

Can you guess what it is????? For the answer click here....

This Is Where We Are....

As many of you know we were suppose to have news last Friday on the husband's new job opportunity.... This is where we are.....

He interviewed a week ago last Thursday, Friday, Monday, and Tuesday.... The Feedback was very promising.. he was very well received.. I may not have told you that the person doing the hiring has known my husband professionally for over twenty (20) years and he was so fired up that the husband was available that he had him come out before the job was posted on the company job board... or whatever you call the online postings nowadays... After all the interviews and after all the traveling... and after all the excitement... My spouse was told he had to apply on line... umm okay....

So now... there are 3 applicants that have applied and company policy requires them to be interviewed... Things are still looking very good.... But now instead of a few days of waiting.. We are looking at a minimum of two (2) weeks of waiting.... We are very excited about the possibility of moving to the South... I'm treating it like a new adventure.... The kids are also excited... If husband of mine does not get the job - of course we will be disappointed but that would be okay too... (I keep telling myself that) You know - how it is when you get so fired about something and it doesn't happen... you are bummed but you continue to the next thing...

I want to say that I'm being a Pollyanna about this.... But in all honesty - I am irritated .. I don't like being in limbo... I don't like to wait... I have never been a patient person... My cousin recently read my status on Facebook - Which said... "Delays.. delays.. delays.. I hate delays.. 2 weeks worth of more delays..." his comment to me was "Obviously God thinks you need to work on patience.." I'm beginning to think He does....

I have decided to NOT watch the pot the next two (2) or more weeks... I am going to continue working... I am going to do some major Spring cleaning - throwing out, giving away, and selling stuff we no longer use.... I am going to prepare my field for the rain....... (ie: get the house ready for a possible sale...) and if the rain does not come... at least the house will be less cluttered...

** photo from flickr