I would get all excited about my 600 very specific new rules for myself until about January 6th, when I would break the first resolution, and then this would completely demotivate me because "well I already failed."
I know. You people are all better than me. You don't break your resolutions. And you read the Bible and floss every day.
But when I declared 2013 "The Year of Attitude," I found out that there was actually a way for me to hold onto that motivation to be better. Instead of making a bunch of rules, I decided that for that year, I was going to really try hard to think about what it means to have a good attitude. I was going to make a general effort to be more positive. And this actually worked.
I regularly, and often facetiously, told people around me that "I'm going to stop complaining about this because this is THE YEAR OF ATTITUDE." I said that so frequently that friends would sometimes parrot it back to me if I ever seemed like I wasn't living up to my own new standard. If they had done this about a rule I broke, it would have been annoying. But in this context, it was actually really encouraging.
There was something so much better about, "you seem really negative about your job today even though this is the Year of Attitude" compared to "I thought you said you weren't going to complain about your coworkers."
With that terrific year under my belt, I decided I would pick a new theme each year thereafter.
2013: The Year of Attitude
2014: The Year of Honesty
2015: The Year of Standing Up For Myself
2016: The Year of Productivity
2017: The Year of Creativity
2018: The Year of New
Each of those has been phenomenally rewarding. Each of them has changed me in really significant ways.
And so, it is with great excitement that I now reveal my 2019 theme, which I selected a few months ago.
Drum roll brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrrbrbrbrrbrbrbrbrbrbrbbrbbbrbrbrbrbr (is that even how you type a drum roll out? I got a C in 7th grade band so I don't actually know).
2019 will be The Year of Health for me.
I've noticed especially in the last two years that I've developed some unhealthy habits, most of them physical. And as I have entered my mid-30s, I have become increasingly more conscious of how the things I take into my body make me feel. I believe that spending a year really thinking about what it means to be healthy and develop better habits in this area will benefit the rest of my life.
I want to focus on the word "health" and try to understand what that means for me. I want to get out of the habit of thinking it's normal to eat meat every day (let alone twice a day). I want to eat more fish and raw vegetables. I want to drink less caffeine. I want to go to bed and wake up earlier. I want to be more mindful of waste, and my environmental footprint. I want to be more purposeful in exercise and do activities that help me feel good.
By the end of 2019, I want to be able to say that I feel like a much healthier person.
Your turn. Any themes out there? Or traditional resolutions. Go!
And while you're thinking about that, here's a picture of Duncan judging you.
~It Just Gets Stranger
2018 Was the year of exercise. And it worked even though there were long stretches of time I did the opposite of that stuff!
ReplyDelete2019 Will be The Year of Language. I started learning a language seriously last year, but this year not only do I want to continue, but surround myself with it more often. Find new ways to get out of my comfort zone and become more fluent.
(Lowkey wishes that 2019 for Eli would be "The Year I Update the Tellin' It Like it Is Award List" because I miss those kind of stories!
I just love the positive attitude around giving your year a theme. Like you said, it creates good habits that don't just last for one year or even a week, but the more you think about it, the more motivated to keep making it a part of your routine in the future. So thanks!
You're inspiring.
ReplyDelete2019 is the year of discipline.
Oh, I was really hoping 2019 would be the Year of Knitting for you. You know, the year where you finally quit your job to start a knitting blog full time. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite themed year that I was good at following through on was the Year of No (2016?).
This year I want to be the Year of Productivity (apparently, Norway is three years behind the States...) All through 2018, I felt as if I was always behind on my tasks, both at work, in all my volunteering, and privately. It was tiring and demotivating to always feel like I was behind and not enough. I’m stepping down from a lot of volunteering positions this fall to less time-consuming positions in the same organizations and I really want to feel good about what I have done, instead of feeling like I could have done better.
So, 2019 will be a lot less mindless TV and Instagram, and a lot more mindfully doing tasks that I deep down actually like once I get started. And I’ll finally actually do the planning for our May wedding…
You may find "When: The Scientific Secret of Perfect Timing" by Daniel Pink helpful.
DeleteThis is the Year of Silence for me. I talk too much and I don't listen to things that are healthy for me. I judge people too quickly. I want to learn to listen without giving my (mostly unnecessary) opinion.
ReplyDeleteAt the yoga studio that I practice at they have these stickers at the front desk that say "practicing in silence" and you can put one on and it's a signal to everyone else to let you do your thing in peace. It's really nice, I wish I could wear them outside the studio and go a whole day or even week in silent retreat.
DeleteSo true! I did have to warn my grown children that I was not mad, I was just trying to be quiet. They will probably enjoy it greatly!
DeleteFirst - a comment about your "Year of Health". You noted: "I want to go to bed an wake up earlier." Are you certain that is actually healthy for you? I've read articles about circadian rhythms that suggest that if yours isn't a early to bed, early to rise rhythm that attempting to force yourself into this cycle is actually detrimental to your health. My natural rhythm is a sleep cycle of about 12 - 8 - which doesn't fit with my work life so I don't get enough sleep. I know this and have tried to go to bed early but all I do is lay there thinking about stuff - which often raises my anxiety and leads to less restful sleep.
ReplyDeleteOkay - so last year was my Year of Water. I was going to try to drink more water. I was semi-successful but not as successful as I'd like to be.
This year is my Year of New. I'm putting myself out there to try new things. This is challenging my anxiety big time but I want to be an example for my son, who also has anxiety and is reluctant to try new things.
My first "New" challenge is that I've agreed to take family pictures for a church fundraiser. I'm doing family picture photo sessions. I got my feet wet at Christmas when I took pictures of people with Santa at the church. It went over really well so I'm hoping this will too. I enjoyed the Santa sessions but I'm still really nervous about the family sessions!
Yes, largely because I've noticed that the later I stay up, the more junk food I eat. Also, when I early bed/early rise, I usually feel a lot better and get more done.
DeleteGood luck with your Year of New!
The year of no expectations (for myself and for others). The last two years I worked really hard on being healthy mentally and physically and I had all these expectations that I would never have a hypomanic or depressive episode or PTSD related symptoms (daytime falshbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, etc) again and when they hit (and they hit hard this last year) I would spin out because I felt like all my hard work was for nothing and I was a total failure.
ReplyDeleteI also thought since I was working hard that good things in work, life, and love would come my way and every time there was a possibility for something new I would let my expectations raise up and I was disappointed almost every single time. So I'm just going to live in the moment, enjoy the good things and appreciate them for what they are without trying to grasp on and make them last longer than they should, allow myself to experience the bad without judging it, and be ok with not being the best at everything...or anything for that matter. It's ok to just be ok, and it's ok to not be ok.
Something I read about about mental health, that really helped me, was that mental health is not a journey but a garden. Sometimes weeds crop up, and you have to deal with them so they don't overrun your garden, but looking at it this way helped me not to feel like a failure when a bad spell would come upon me.
DeleteI think I've read that PTSD symptoms and attacks can worsen as you begin to work through the trauma, so hearing that they seemed to hit harder this year would support that. Have you tried EMDR therapy? I've been considering it myself, just haven't made the phone call for an appointment yet.
DeleteAlso, in an attempt to be encouraging to keep up that hard work, my favorite 'parable' is the story of the currant bush: https://youtu.be/oDrhvm9EnJ4 sometimes we get cut down before we can have a growth spurt in career, happiness, possibility.
I 'know' you from a distance through the blog and podcast, but often think I wish we could be friends, we'd get along on so many levels. :)
Yep, EMDR brought most of it to the surface and allowed me to finally talk about it fir the first time. I have a great therapist but it's time for me to take a step back from the intensity of therapy and everything that goes with it and just cope on my own for a while. And to just feel like a normal person who doesn't have to schedule things around regular therapy appointments.
DeleteYou have inspired me over the past 10.5 years, Eli. 2019 is The Year of Intention for me. I can't wait to hear about your journey of health.
ReplyDeleteOoooooh I love this one. I have to save it (or change mine and steal it)!
Delete2018 my word was TRAVEL. I went no where. But my husband took 5 vacations.
ReplyDeleteSo there's that. (Yep, I'm bitter.) This year I decided to listen to a different area's NPR on my new Google hub so I at least FEEL like I went somewhere. So far I've been to Washington State and Wisconsin twice (I really liked their host). Tomorrow...maybe I'll try Utah :)
I got this idea from something the Suzzzz posted that was originally written by Neil Gaiman, so lots of credit to be given out there, but none to me. The basic idea is that I want this year to be the year of Mistakes. I am one of those perfectionists for whom being a perfectionist is actually more of a problem than a good thing, without that being a joke. I was the kid who never got dirty and grew out of shoes that were basically brand new because I never did anything. I was the kid who had entire collections of stickers and erasers that I never ever used because they had to stay perfect. There are a million things that I never do because I am afraid that it will not be perfect and the phrase "good enough" is really hard for me to understand. I think the year of mistakes will be really good for me because it will remind me that a mistake means I tried something, a mistake is an opportunity to learn, a mistake is not the same as a failure. Failure means I did not learn, failure means I gave up. And the funny thing is, we are on day three now and I already feel like I have messed up, because there have already been things that I knew I should do, knew I wanted to do, but was too afraid or nervous of how it would turn out and SO I HAVEN'T - but guess what? So I made a mistake, I can get over it, do it now as best I can - and then not make the same mistake again. Maybe this year should be the year of Mistakes and Grace then. Allowing myself the room to make the mistakes, and promising myself the Grace to forgive myself and move on with life. Thanks, Eli! You're the tops of the top.
ReplyDeleteI love Neil's New Year Wishes. The link to the original "mistakes" wish is here:
Deletehttp://journal.neilgaiman.com/2011_12_01_archive.html
I'm using it as a savasana quote in my final student teaching yoga flow on Saturday.
ALSO - about your year of health - I told my husband (who is a perfect specimen of human health, who simultaneously attracts me AND disgusts me because of this) that I wanted him to write up a workout routine for me. The very first thing I tried to do, I knocked a metal lamp on my head and now have this wicked gash right at my hairline that will leave a gnarly scar. I had a lot of the same thoughts as you about wanting to just feel better in my body with food and sleep and some regular exercise, and I found myself bleeding profusely all over my house. That was on January 1, and since then each of my best friends have also hurt their heads - and our names all start with A. Holding down the panic that this will actually be The Year of Head Wounds for A Names. BUT ALSO, if that is the worst thing that happens to me in 2019, that's all gravy.
ReplyDeleteI broke my neck and had major surgery involving donor bones, metal plates, etc. during the first week of January 2018. It was my Year of Get Everything Done Because the Deductible is Met! Also...gravy. My name starts with A, so your post scares me for 2019!
Deletenow I feel like I have a curse or bad omen hanging over me. Do I dare bike ride this year, do I risk that 4th bike crash and the need for a 4th helmet. thanks a lot ;)
Deletein 2018 my goal was to play 1000 holes of disc golf. I figured why not have a resolution that was super fun. It pushed me. that's a lot of disc golf, but it was fun and i got some pride out of it when i reached and surpassed my goal.
ReplyDeleteThis year is the year of creativity for me. i want some sort of creative content with an audience. by the end of the year
That's exciting and specific! What kind of content do you have in mind?
Deletequiz show podcast, board game on kick starter, or publish my poetry. those are all projects that have already had some investment of time or energy, but have failed to launch.
DeleteI say you should post a link here to any of those when they come to fruition. I'd at least want to give them a look!
DeleteThe Year of Challenging Myself. I want to challenge myself to stick up for me when I need to be heard but am too afraid of hurting others. I want to challenge myself to try new things in my work as a designer. I want to challenge myself to start new things I typically wouldn't due to a fear of being judged.
ReplyDeleteI hope that now that I've written it down, even anonymously, that I'll have more success challenging myself to challenge myself.
Last year was my “Year of Stability”, where I managed to find stable people, set up a stable belief, and stick to my guts before anything else. It was soooo helpful!
ReplyDeleteThis year, it’s my Year of Refining. I’ve been interested in fashion for a long time, and I have a talent for knitting, so I’m going to try and go to school for fiber arts. I’m already 22, though, so I need to go in prepared and I want to refine my skills and challenge them to make bigger, better things. Also, after learning the building blocks of being stable, I’m hankering to really home stability in everything that I do. Cheers to a new year!
I love this! Good luck to you with all of your endeavors!
Delete2019 is the year of Choosing Joy. I'm one of those personalities that gets really bogged down when one small thing goes badly, and I'm tired of that. So, this year, I'm making a conscious effort to choose joy--even if that means just rolling my eyes for a second and then listening to my favorite song. I know it's only been 2 and a half days, but so far I've actually enjoyed it. I also bought a mini trampoline in hopes that jumping on it would make exercise feel joyful instead of a chore.
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing these every year, Eli (and all other commenting strangers!) It's nice to know that we're all just humans out there!
Sadly, last year was my year of health and although it started out good (teeth getting worked on, some weight lost) it ended up being the year of getting an autoimmune disease and now I have worse problems. Not sure what his year should be as I don't know if I will get much better or not.
ReplyDeleteThis is the Year of Improvement for me. It's the first time I've chosen a word instead of making a list of things, which has NEVER worked. I think it will be better since it's not a pass or fail situation and it gives me something to focus on when I feel like nothing is working out how I want it to...at least I can improve it!
ReplyDelete2019 is my year to be stronger. Not jut stronger physically, although that's part of it, but stronger in my relationships, my creativity, in my convictions, and in my ability to stand up for my own needs. I have some specific goals too, but they all relate to that overall idea.
ReplyDeleteIronically, I had the hardest time deciding what theme I wanted to go with... and ended up with The Year of Decisions. I'm the *worst* at making simple decisions, and usually opt to let other people make the decisions for me. But it's time to make a stand and decide what I really want (for dinner)!
ReplyDeleteMy word this year is JOY. I’m going to focus on griping less, even in jest, and really finding the joy in all things.
ReplyDelete2019 is The Year of Connection for me. Specifically, connection with myself and with God, but also connection with others.
ReplyDeleteI started having "the year of..." after I saw it on your blog. My first year was the year of Improved Credit and Finances (as my divorce ruined both), the second year was the year of Health and Wellness, then it was the year of The Reading Challenge (50 books). I think this year will be the year of independence, but I haven't decided for sure. I've also considered the year of relationships.
ReplyDeleteI was pondering over what my year would be but I think I am going to copy you and make it the Year of Health, as well. I suffered an unexpected and totally devastating loss this summer and since then I have spent most days sitting in my recliner watching Netflix. I realized today that I have given myself time to mourn and it is time to get on with life. I am sick of feeeling like a slug.
ReplyDeletePlease know that grief is evolving, and wonderful if you feel like you've given yourself enough time, but also be compassionate with yourself when the grief will rear it's ugly head. Small steps, one day at a time, consider finding a grief counselor to work with. I have a great referral if you're in the SLC area.
DeleteCome swim with me! I coach a small (only two folks right now) triathlon group on Tuesday nights at the UofU Nautatorium from 7-8pm. I can help get your technique where you want it, it'd be so cool to see if you're swim time could be reduced, a possible goal. It'd be about $80-100 a month with the little company I work for, but I say come check it out once, see if it'd work for you. I'd love to see ya more often.
ReplyDeleteI think im going to call this the Year of Following Through. Last year was supposed to be the year of taking care (of myself, my relationships, my home, etc), but this latest semester, I let myself get sidetracked by negativity. So. I'm going to follow through with the theme from last year, but also focus on what I want to accomplish this year. Here's hoping I can follow through and take care of all the things in 2019.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited to see how this year's theme works for all of us!
2019 IS GOING TO BE MY YEAR OF FAITH. I want to have more faith in God and in the resources that he has given me to live in this life. I want to have more faith in myself to accomplish my goals. I want to have more faith in order to help me achieve those goals. I want to have more faith in order to remove the fear from paralyzing me into inaction.
ReplyDeleteOh honey, you bet your ass I have read every single entry on Stranger. First of all, I discovered your blog more than seven years ago when Snuggie Texts first went viral in 2011 and have been religiously stalking you ever since.
ReplyDeleteYear of Health sounds like a great idea! Last year you inspired me to take my own twist on New Years resolutions; I just turned 30 on Saturday, which was the very end of 2018 — so I decided last year to spend 2018 focused on various goals counting down to 30. It led to more reading and more hiking and more exploring.
So this year, I’m expanding on my mini goals. I want to read twice as many books. Eat less added sugars. More veggies. I’m less theme-oriented, but focus on increasing things that make me happy and decreasing things that are problematic in my life. And your blog has definitely been a motivator behind that focus.
I fall down. A lot. I get hurt. Bruised. Once I broke my arm (slightly) while run/walking to get on a plane that was all full...except for me. They had been waiting. And waiting. It wasn't my fault, it took the airline for-ev-er to issue me my ticket. I was early, I'm kind of compulsive about that! Anyway. Ah-hum. I fall down. A lot. In 2018 I tried very hard not to fall. I've done very well. I also asked for and received a balance board for Chrismas. I kind of expect to fall off of it. I hope I don't. I haven't used it yet. I want 2019 to be the year of NO Falls!
ReplyDelete