NOT THAT HE OR I OR ANYONE HAS EVER KNOWN ANY OBSCENITIES EVER, CATHIE.
Amid the screams, he started giving me all of the codes and passwords he knows and asking me to please give Ollie a good life (which I was already doing because at that exact moment I was feeding him cheese and peanut butter, believing that he would be sleeping at Matt's house that night). Then I realized that we still haven't finalized Matt's will, noting that in the event of his death Mr. Pants goes to me, which suddenly forced me out of my apathy for Matt's situation and into a very panicked and stern lecture that he better not die until we get this resolved. Because I do not want to have a battle with a bunch of Miss'ippians over Ollie's future.
And now, your Pictures & Distractions:
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| Oh I'm sorry. THAT I'M SO GOOD AT WEARING SUSPENDERS AND BOW TIES! |
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| Sunday naps with Mr. Pants. |
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| Matt and Jolyn; two of the world's best people. |
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| Thank you to Strangers Michael and Sarah for the Christmas beanie. I had just gone running, which is why I look so angry in this picture. |
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| My friend Natalie found this in her grandma's refrigerator recently so she sent me a picture. |
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| I finally got this painting from L'viv Ukraine framed. I picked this up in 2009 on my way back to the U.S. from Moscow. |
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| With Caitlyn on New Year's Eve. I think we are sitting on Matt in this picture. YOU'RE WELCOME, MATTHEW. |
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| In case you haven't checked it out yet, Mr. Pants has revamped his Instagram page. Take a look at the last few weeks. Pure comedy gold. |
*****
Stranger Picture of the Week
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| Awkward dentist photo received as a Christmas card by Stranger Rachel in Connecticut. |
Crap to distract you from whatever you're supposed to be doing:
More chicken sweaters. Thanks, Clinton.
People of the 80s who never should have been let out of the house. Thanks, Kina.
Woman live tweets a couple's breakup on a flight (language warning). Thanks, Elizabeth.
Why Generation Y is unhappy. Thanks, "Top-Three" Kim.
A mattress with a built-in pet bed. Thanks, Melissa.
Birthday gift ideas for me. Thanks, Janel.
A little late, but Dave Barry's holiday gift guide. Thanks, Francie.
The latest and greatest from Slab City, my home away from home. Thanks Will and Cathie (THE Cathie).
Graphics to make you rethink your life. Thanks, Krishelle.
Star Wars with Princess Bride quotes. Thanks, Jackson.
Please find me on the Instagrams at eliwmccann and follow us on the Facebooks.
If you would like to have something included on Pictures & Distractions, please email me at itjustgetsstranger@gmail.com.
~It Just Gets Stranger
OMG Mr. Pants's Instagram account is amazing. Please keep this up.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I see suspenders and a bow tie on a guy I think of Orville Redenbacher or Pee Wee Herman or Tucker Carlson or Huckleberry Hound, or basically any guy that dresses like my 93 year old dad. I guess old is the new sexy. Also wine is the new lemonade tea. I'm ok with both of those.
ReplyDeleteBy the way this is my father's favorite interwebz store, every time I go to their house he makes log on to their computer and bring up the site so he can browse for ties.
Deletehttp://www.beautiesltd.com/
DeleteWith those suspenders and bow tie, you look remarkably like Matt Smith as the Doctor in Doctor Who (an awesome British tv show!). I am wondering if you are a Whovian or just classically cool. Sooo, which is it?
ReplyDeleteHe just needs a fez. Fezzes are cool.
DeleteOr a Stetson. Stetsons are cool. ;)
Is that lady in East Jesus wearing bottoms? (Yes, I just quoted Norbit. What? It's Friday.) Seriously though, is she?
ReplyDeleteI don't know. But if I don't visit East Jesus by the end of the year then I guess 2016 wasn't a very good year.
DeleteOK, I just have to say that the wine in the Lemonade tea container is a desecration of that container!! (I can't drink wine, but I drink Turkey Hill's Lemonade Tea by the gallon...it's my one vice.)
ReplyDeleteI'm still so devastated by Mr. Pants'ssesses' haircut. I think I need to set up extra therapy sessions until this situation is resolved.
ReplyDeleteYou are adorable.
ReplyDeleteYour shirts are too tight, Eli. Looking at how your buttons want to burst brought this series of videos to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLZ8L6SZmaA&list=PLyhuQNLlqK7GJ5pcrdJnR3tjzZxUDxaJP
ReplyDeleteYour hair looks fabulous, of course, but I'm too distracted by the buttons not aligning to really spend any time looking at your hair.
Please go shopping immediately, and buy some clothing that fits you. Matt's shirts fit him; maybe he'll help you. :)
This is what happens when he no longer lives with a giant who he steals all his clothes from. I bet that those are young Wade's shirts and that's why they look too small.
DeleteOR he's getting fat because he hasn't exercised since the Ironman.
DeleteNo, "he" doesn't look FAT in those photos, he looks like he buys his clothes (shirts, at least) TOO SMALL. You exercise enough for all of the Stranger population, at least if you remember the comments regarding the types of people who go to the gym, Eli. Either buy bigger shirts, or take in a boarder, preferably a giant from whom you can steal clothing.
Delete"Fat" was maybe too dramatic. But I bet those shirts fit more comfortably when I bought them. Maybe I can see if Cathie can let them out a bit. Or put in that maternity pouch so I don't have this problem in the future.
DeleteYou don't need a "maternity pouch", Eli. You DO need 1/2 to 1" of additional fabric, and I'm betting that those shirt seams aren't hiding quite that much fabric. If Cathie does succeed in letting them out a bit, then please post new pics of how the buttons lie flat and don't pull. If not, then please buy the next size up. You're fit enough; you'll still look good, even in a size larger (gasp!) than what you've worn your whole young life.
DeleteYou don't need someone my age to be ogling your perfect abs. Please don't give in to the hipster trend of wearing clothes that don't fit. Thank you.
Thanks a lot, Krishelle. I love where I live and the job that I do, but I'm much too far away geographically from my Daddy, who has fewer than 20 years left if he gets to live to 90. I didn't need the guilt that infographic packed.
ReplyDelete