Thursday, February 27, 2014

Queen Latifah

On Saturday night I hung out with my friend Jesse. I stopped by his place and he said he wanted to watch a movie and there was a Redbox just down the street so "let's go see what they have."

The LAST time I got a movie at Redbox, it had Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton in it. And my friends in Salt Lake are STILL trying to determine whether I can ever be trusted again.

We walked up to the Redbox and started flipping through dozens of movies neither of us had ever heard of. Then we saw it.

Eli: Wait. Steel Magnolias? But those aren't the people I remember from Steel Magnolias.

Jesse: Yeah. I don't remember Queen Latifah being in this movie.

Eli: Or Mrs. Huxtable.


Jesse: Oh. My. Gosh. Eli. I think this is a remake of Steel Magnolias! Starring Queen Latifah!

Eli: Huh? I've never heard of such a thing.

Jesse then started frantically tapping through the screen, with obvious excitement.

Eli: What are you doing?

Jesse: We are going to watch this whole movie. RIGHT. NOW.

Eli: You want to watch the black remake of Steel Magnolias? On a Saturday night? THIS is what you want to do tonight?

Jesse: DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE THE JUICE SCENE?!

I had to admit, I sort of did want to see the juice scene. You know. The one where Shelby has a diabetic attack at Dolly Parton's hair salon and she's all shaking and like "I'm gonna leave!" and Sally Field is like, "I would like to see you try!" And then Dolly Parton is like "should I get her a cookie?" And the mom is all, "no. Juice is better."

You guys. It's the first time in my life that I've ever been able to quote lines to a movie before they happened even though I had never seen the movie before.

And, no. I'm not proud that I basically have Steel Magnolias memorized and spent a Saturday night proving it with the black remake.

~It Just Gets Stranger

22 comments:

  1. Was it any good, and is there an armadillo cake?

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    1. You better believe there was armadillo cake! So, obviously, the film was incredible.

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  2. no no no, the most memorable part of the 'juice' scene is WEEZER! "I don't know why I grow tomatoes, I just grow them because I'm southern, and that's what southern women do". Wish I could find a clip of it, but youtube is failing me.

    A black version of Steel Magnolia's?? hmmm,, I often think when producers try and remake a film "if it ain't broke, don't fix it".

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  3. I was just bowling for PE and found out my friend I was bowling with also reads this blog. Best moment ever.

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  4. There were a lot of exclamations in this post. About Steel Magnolias. That two men watched on a Saturday night.

    I'M NOT JUDGING! Just making an observation.

    Also, I want to watch this movie. Pretty badly. I'm going to see if any Redboxes in Idaho Falls has it, and I'll reserve it. Happening riiiiiiight...NOW!

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  5. How you can tie queen latifah, dolly parton, and red-box together every time is a true talent.

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    1. Laughed so loud I had to shut my office door. Thanks, Luna,I will let you know if I still have a job tomorrow.

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    2. Lol... you are welcome, unless you lost your job, in that case I'm sorry.

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  6. I'm guessing the last Red Box movie you picked to have been Joyful Noise. Ummm, doesn't that translate into GLEE? You should have known better! "Christy Lemire of The Boston Globe felt that "if some incarnation of Glee were to be developed for the Christian Broadcasting Network, it would probably look a lot like Joyful Noise.[8] (sourced from Wikipedia)" But I have to say Queen Latifah is TOTALLY "Queen" for a reason! I LOVED her in Taxi (I know blast from the past, right? I can't believe that was 10 years ago!) Being in Memphis, I'm going to bet Steel Magnolias is in my RedBox. The question is, are their going to be any copies available in a 10 mile radius? I'm so checking this one out!

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  7. Steel Magnolias is one of my FAVORITES!

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  8. My mom and i watched that Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton movie last weekend! I like how at the end, without any practice whatsoever (cause Queen Latifah's character had a giant stick up her bum and wouldn't let them sing anything modern... right up til she realized they were about to loose the competition to the creepy gibberish singing children and suddenly had a change of heart?) they suddenly had all those Jesus-versions-of-rap-songs pulled out of thin air and coordinated dance moves. My mom is grounded from netflix for a while.

    You know what you should watch though? St Trinians. It's totally a chick flick, but is weird and awkward and hilarious and you would like it because its weird and awkward and hilarious. In the best way.

    I've never seen Steel Magnolias. Should i?

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    1. Oh my Lord! Do it! Do it noooooooow! I haven't seen the remake but I'd suggest the original anyhow. How else will you learn all the classic lines? "Pink is my signature color." "Want some iced tea? It's the house wine of the south." and so many, many more.

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    2. Blush and Bashful...

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  9. Eli... can I just say how much my (nonsexual) crush on you grows knowing you not only admit to seeing Steel Magnolias but can quote it?!?

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  10. My mother and I quote this movie so liberally, it's like we have our own language. Get off my bench! I just want to hit something and hit it hard! Here, hit Oiuser! I haven't left the house without Lycra on these thighs since I was thirteen. Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket. The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. Shelby was right, this IS a brown football helmet. And the list goes on and on and on. I've seen both and the original wins. Hands down.

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  11. "You've got the handwritin' of a serial killer."

    Best. Movie. For. Quotes. Ever!

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    1. *gasp* What about Mean Girls?! :-P

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  12. Stop complaining and drink your juice, Shelby.

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  13. No Mom! There is Candy in my purse! You didn't bring your purse!

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  14. The first and only time I saw Steel Magnolias was at your house because you and Micalyne talked me into watching it with you. I later found out my mom was trying to hide that movie from me. Leave it to you to show your diabetic friend a movie about a diabetic who dies... haha!

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