The other day Daniel and I went to dinner with a couple of friends.
Now I know it seems like I'm spending a lot of time lately complaining about Daniel's very questionable decisions. I prefer the word "informing." But whatever. Call it what you want. In any event, Daniel will be abandoning me in about ten days so I speak now or forever hold my peace.
Server: Uh-oi. And what would you like sir Daniel.
Daniel: Can I have the chicken curry please?
Server: No problem.
Daniel: Oh, but could I substitute the rice for something else?
Server: Ok.
Daniel: Hmm. Let's see . . . so many good choices . . . how about . . . the pancakes with strawberry syrup?
Eli: Daniel. That's . . . that's not something you substitute for rice. To eat with your curry.
I did the polite but condescending laugh across the table to our friends who were both looking at Daniel like he showed up to dinner with the Queen of Colors swaddled in one of those baby carriers attached to his chest.
Daniel: Oh no! [Then looking to our friends] Eli doesn't know what the word "substitution" means!
Server: So you want pancakes instead of rice? With your curry?
Daniel: And strawberry syrup. IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE.
Server: Ok . . . no problem.
This wasn't particularly shocking to me. Because Daniel has no standards whatsoever when it comes to mixing foods. He pours ketchup into a bowl of applesauce. He puts sour cream on his cereal. I once saw him make a smoothie by blending frozen berries and ONE CUP of almond butter.
But these things are typically done in the privacy of our own home when there aren't other people around and ready to link me to his actions.
I decided there was no need to stress about the curry with strawberry pancakes decision. Sure, it was odd. But eating curry with pancakes on the side never killed anyone.
Then his meal was brought out, pancakes in tow. Daniel poured strawberry syrup all over them like the Apocalypse had arrived and the only way to save oneself was to overdose on sugar. Then he stabbed the pancakes with his fork, raised them into the air, and dropped them into his bowl of yellow curry.
Everyone stared at him, hoping he would explain that this was all some sort of accident. It wasn't. HE DID THIS ON PURPOSE. And he ate his yellow curry strawberry pancake chicken stew for the next fifteen minutes.
I know that pregnant women sometimes have odd food cravings. Could Daniel be permanently pregnant?
Your turn. What disgusting food combinations have you tried or seen other people try?
~It Just Gets Stranger
Where are you eating that you can even order chicken curry AND pancakes with strawberry syrup?!
ReplyDeleteI like to put pickles on just about everything, I put lemon in my soup(lots and lots), oh and spinach and tofu in my smoothies. All sound pretty normal compared to Daniel.
anywhere in the middle of the Pacific.... even in here Hawaii...
DeleteHilarious. He must have the strangest taste buds ever.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I get the craving for McDonalds cheeseburgers dipped in their sausage gravy. Yum! But you have to get there at exactly 10:30am to get it. But at least I know it's weird I guess
ReplyDeleteMy son likes to put syrup on string cheese and eat it with a fork. My wife gives in to this while I play the bad guy.
ReplyDeleteMustard on pizza. So good!
ReplyDeleteJust reading this made my stomach hurt. Daniel is a gigantor mutant from the lost tribe of Amazonian warriors, their leader being called Chief Cast Ironstomach.
ReplyDeleteThe grossest combination I have ever seen someone eat was when I was in first grade and this kid ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with mustard. I kind of can understand the curry and pancake, but not the strawberries
ReplyDeleteSo, I eat hot pepperoncini peppers (the yellow kind you get with a sub sandwich or pizza) with chocolate milk. I'd like to blame it on one of my pregnancies, but I can't. I started doing it when I was about 10 and now my oldest daughter does it, too.
ReplyDeleteMayonnaise, dill pickle & peanut butter sandwich - Also good with bread & butter pickles, depending on your mood!
ReplyDeleteLeave off the pickles and I'm with you. Peanut butter and miracle whip here! And my kids love it too now.
DeleteHad a boss who used to love to eat brownies while drinking beer. My own weirdness: I adore American cheese sandwiches with mustard; peanut butter sandwiches with American cheese; and the occasional dill-pickle peanut butter sandwich. Daniel has me beat by a mile.
ReplyDeletePeople think I'm weird that I do this, but I do not. I will only dip Chips Ahoy cookies in cherry kool-aid, and when I make spaghetti at home, I will only drink grape kool-aid with it. I also spread peanut butter on my american cheese and make sandwiches with it.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm going to vomit!
ReplyDeleteI want to comment so bad, but I have no idea even what to say... I don't even know how you get the idea to mix half of the stuff y'all say you do.
ReplyDeleteDaniel needs to be in a carnival - for being a giant and having an iron stomach and uneducated taste-buds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1sWCEHWShw
ReplyDeleteThings I have eaten that have boggled my wife: Sour cream on brownies. Watermelon/feta/kalamata olive salad. Fried eggs with pickles on the side. Rice for breakfast, with milk and brown sugar. She really couldn't get over rice for breakfast. Still mentions it first among gross things I've eaten. But she tried to tell all the ladies at church about it (in a bizarre sidebar from the lesson she was teaching) and the entire room erupted in my defense, so there.
ReplyDeletewatermelon and feta cheese rock the tastebuds. Yummm!
DeleteMy family would back you up on the rice for breakfast thing too, we sometimes eat rice with milk and a cinnamon-sugar mixture on it.
DeleteI grew up eating rice with butter and sugar for breakfast, and my grandpa ate it with sugar and milk!
DeleteYes! rice with brown sugar and cinnamon is the best! We'd have it for breakfast or dessert too...
DeleteSounds kind of like rice pudding; I don't think it is outlandish at all
DeleteMy dad eats tuna and peanut butter together. Mustard has also been involved in that bizarre combination. The only odd thing I do is add cottage cheese to almost everything. I add it to eggs, soups, fruit...the list goes on.
ReplyDeleteMy friends love dipping slices of pizza in Chick-fil-A sauce. I've yet to experience it but they are adamant in its deliciousness.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid I would make a sandwich with Miracle Whip and animal crackers on white bread. My uncle once made tuna fish pancakes. Not like crab cakes just with tuna fish but pancakes with tuna fish in the batter. I'm pretty sure there was syrup involved as well. The entire house smelled horrid for a few hours.
ReplyDeleteI will eat chocolate fudge and giant green olives at the same time.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like me and Daniel would get along like peas and carrots. I've been doing that sort of thing since I was a kid. I remember making sandwiches with beets, cream cheese, tomato, ham, and mayonnaise. I also ate peanut butter and cream cheese sandwiches. To this day I occasionally enjoy a good pb & cream cheese sandwich.
ReplyDeleteDill pickles and scrambled eggs. Ketchup sandwiches.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like Daniel has discovered the Palauan (sp?) variety of Chicken and Waffles!!! Which sounds crazy, I know, but is a true southern delicacy. I have the best recipe for C&W if you'd like to make Daniel's night sometime. :)
ReplyDeleteIn response to other weird food combos, just last night I was introduced to what the kids are calling "The McBitchin" (It's not cursing if it's a proper noun, right?) You go to the dollar menu at McDonalds and order the McDouble and the Spicy Chicken sandwiches, take off the bottom buns of both and smoosh them together. $2 and you have one rather tasty heart-attack-in-5-years. I think I'm already addicted.
My co-worker told me about that and I have yet to try it. When I mentioned it to my husband he looked at me like "and you're just hearing about it now? That's old news."
DeleteNow that I'm on couch to 5-K (thanks to your Ironman blog)... I don't think I'll be trying it anytime soon.
I love to put a slice of pineapple on my tunafish sandwiches. I've gotten lots of strange looks for this. But believe me, tuna and pineapple complement each other beautifully. It is the perfect combination of salty and citrus-y/sweet.
ReplyDeleteMy son likes nacho cheese doritos and green jello (but he's 4)
ReplyDeleteBut, being that I am pregnant right now, nothing sounds good in any combination and some of these comments are going to make me ill...
I eat Sriracha chili sauce on everything; grilled cheese, cucumbers, rice, sushi, pizza... but the strangest thing I do with it is squirt it all over my fruit! Hot sauce and fruit is one of the best treats. Oh second best treat. Blue cheese and fruit. I eat my blue cheese with all my fruit if I can, that also means I eat Sriracha, blue cheese and fruit on a regular basis. DELICIOUS.
ReplyDeleteCottage cheese on my baked potato, mashed potatoes in the bottom of a bowl of home made chicken noodle soup, or peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich... just to name a few.
ReplyDeleteMashed potatoes in chicken noodle soup is delish!! I've eaten that since I was a kid, although I preferred chicken and stars soup. :-)
DeleteMy father-in-law used to eat sliced cantaloupe with white cream gravy all over it. My husband loves it, too. Ick!
ReplyDeleteTwogs...take a Twinkie, split it down the middle like a hot dog bun, stuff a hot dog in there, and drown the whole thing in cheese whiz. Can also be dunked in milk...or thanks to the suggestions above grape or cheery kool-aid.
ReplyDeleteI also just had a grilled cheese with a glazed donut. It was fantastic, but we did use real cheeses so that probably helped.
Usually reading your posts make me fall more and more in live with you Eli, but these last two have really turned me on to Daniel. Is he single and looking? :-) #DanielIsIRRESISTIBLE
ReplyDeleteMy mom used to make me peanut butter, mayonnaise, and sweet pickle sandwiches for lunch. No one ever wanted to trade lunches with me :(
ReplyDeleteI once wittnessed my pregnant aunt dipping carmels in salsa and chowing down..... and my father-in-law always enjoyed a good peanut butter, bacon and mayo sandwich
ReplyDeleteThat is how I eat my BLTs. Peanut butter, bacon, mayo, and tomatoes. YUMMY!!
DeleteI don't allow my food to touch. EVER. Daniel is GROSS.
ReplyDeleteSalsa Waffles.. Yup... I had no other condiment than salsa one morning and thought it couldnt be bad... turns out it is AMAZING. Stop what you are doing right now and heat up a frozen waffle and pour some cold salsa on top. You will thank me for this advice :-)
ReplyDeleteI am going to try this. Not now but soon. And if you are wrong, I will find you.
DeleteI used to eat peanut butter and bologna sandwiches.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have introduced my kids to the delicacy of dog-a-dillas (a hot dog in a quesadilla, with BBQ sauce instead of salsa).
I ate lots of weird things when I was a missionary - but I rarely asked what they were after that first time I asked . . .
Well, when pregnant, I want pickles with EVERYTHING. The craziest has been wanting them with brownies. But, my husband who is obviously NOT pregnant always eats his pizza (doesn't matter what kind of pizza) slathered in mayo. It grosses me out so bad that I start gagging. Ick.
ReplyDeleteAlso, in my hometown, there is a restaurant called Billman's. They are a hamburger joint, but their specialty is a hamburger with a glazed donut as the bun. I tried it once, gagging ensued. But there are thousands of people who line up to grab one every single day, whether at the restaurant, their booth at the fair, or their booths at various other events throughout the year.
Every morning I eat my breakfast staring at a picture of you.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't creepy at all, LOL :)
DeleteI love Simba NikNaks chips dipped in strawberry yogurt. For some reason I always get a "gross" for this combination from others lol. Its yummmm!
ReplyDeleteJust played a game last Saturday called 31 bites with four teenage boys. (Strange how many things they don't like and even stranger what they are willing to put on the things they don't like in hopes to make them taste better.) The game is played by each player eating up to 5 bites of something divided into 31 pieces and the last person who eats the 31st bite gets a strike, two strikes and you're out. The scrambled eggs and syrup, scrambled eggs and salsa, no biggie. Scrambled eggs and chocolate syrup and/or strawberry syrup - the first eyebrow raised for me. This went on with grapes, blueberry pancakes, milk, and korean sweet potatoes. The only two items they didn't try to "doctor" the flavor was bacon & jello. (Although if the jello hadn't been in fruit shaped squeeze containers I think one of the boys might have tried.) One boy swears the best of all was blueberry pancakes with salsa, but he wouldn't add syrup to it like one of the boys kept urging because "That's just gross!"
ReplyDeleteEWWWW Ill admit that combination did not sound too good!
ReplyDeleteI used to work for Friendly's (the ice cream place,) and I have a habit of eating really gross things. I don't know if they still have it or not, but they used to have an Asian Teryaki Salad. It's basically a salad with mandarin oranges, those crunchy noodles, sliced almonds, and grilled chicken drenched in teryaki sauce. I would as for the salad (no lettuce), put all of the toppings into a bowl, and then drench it in blue cheese dressing...then I would top it all off with ice cream with a side of pickles (and no, I was NOT pregnant, I was 19 at the time.) I used to get a lot of strange looks. Now that I think about what I used to eat, I feel nauseous. LOL
ReplyDeleteMy brother use to eat Miracle Whip and ketchup sandwiches all the time.
ReplyDeleteMiracle Whip and Ketchup is what McDonald's special sauce is - just saying... and if you make vegetable soup from scratch using V8 juice, the only way to eat is with pnut butter bread -
ReplyDeleteThis isn't necessarily a weird food combo, but my 13 yr old niece had asked for horseradish for her hot dog one day. Her grandpa was all excited and said I'm going to have some of that too. He came bragging to me (the girl who barely uses pepper) about how Bailey likes hot stuff. I told him she probably didn't even know what it was. He said "she asked for it specifically, she knows what it is". Bailey takes a bite of her hot dog and said, "Papa, What is hot on here? Its burning my mouth!" Turns out she meant pickle relish.lol kids!
ReplyDeleteI used to do the ketchup in mustard thing too. Most of the other stuff I do isn't really all that strange... Chips dipped in applesauce is good. I've done ketchup with corn too. Chocolate chip cookies with bacon in them. I think the one thing I do that is the weirdest is putting peanut butter in my mint chocolate chip ice cream. Not just a little bit of peanut butter.... we're talking enough to turn the ice cream a yellowish brown once it all is mixed in (using mint chocolate chip ice cream that is green in color to start with). SOOOOOOO good.... Seriously. You need to try it. Oh, "Choc-Cola" is really good too - half chocolate milk, half Coke. Applesauce bread - put a piece of bread in a bowl, cover with applesauce, sprinkle with sugar, and pour milk over the whole thing. That's really good too. I've also done "Grilk" which is milk mixed with grape juice.
ReplyDeleteI just found out last weekend that one of my cousin's favorite foods is condiment tacos: ketchup and mustard in a tortilla. That's it. Nothing else. Just ketchup and mustard.
ReplyDeleteI know someone who dips her bread in her Diet Pepsi and sometimes brings her own lemon in her purse to restaurants....:)
ReplyDeleteMy brother's favorite is vanilla ice cream with pb and pepper.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends who is pregnant currently likes pickles and hot chocolate lol
ReplyDeleteKetchup on popcorn.
ReplyDeleteI love chicken salad sandwiches made with waffles instead of bread. Yummy! My brother drinks his orange juice with maple syrup in it. He did it as a joke once but decided it was really good. We also make bacon chocolate chip cookies.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived abroad, a local family invited me over for dinner and one of the first dishes we had was somewhat like beef jerky, but not quite. After eating some I asked what it was. Congealed cooked pig's blood. They ate it regularly. I tried my best not to offend them (or should I say "inform them") but I could barely eat for the rest of the night because I was so grossed out!
ReplyDeleteNot to be TMI, but I need SOME sort of excuse for why I was eating this, but I was at that emotional part of the month.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I was STARVING and nothing in the kitchen matched what I wanted.
So I ended up making a sandwich. Peanut butter, strawberry jelly, mayonaise, chocolate syrup, and some chips smack in the middle. The most delicious thing I'd ever had.
I realize I'm commenting several days late but we've been on vacation and I'm just now reading this post...ANYWAY - I had to share what my husband ordered at CheeburgerCheeburger while on vacation. A cheeseburger with swiss cheese, honey mustard, chopped green olives, sauerkraut, teriyaki and pineapple. Our waiter was HORRIFIED (as was the rest of our family.) He claims it was delicious. I have my doubts.
ReplyDeleteWhoa Whoa WHOA!!
ReplyDeleteHold the phone!
You thought we'd pass right over Daniel's news.
The server called him Sir Daniel. Was Daniel somehow knighted and we were not informed of this magnificent honor?
Please bring us up to speed forthwith :-)
Take a piece of bread, spread sour cream on it, and put brown sugar on that. Then eat it. Something my dad made up a long time ago. It's good.
ReplyDeleteWell everyone I've ever eaten with thinks I'm weird for these things: dipping pizza in fry sauce (that's a mixture of ketchup and mayo for anyone outside of Utah), grated Spam in my pancake batter, dipping grilled cheese in ketchup, and putting Doritos on turkey sandwiches. They seem perfectly fine to me though. Way less weird than half of the comments above me. I'd love to eat with Daniel though, because then no one would think I eat weird things!
ReplyDelete