Let It Snow, Let Snow, Let It Snow...Somewhere Else, Da&%#t!

It was a lovely party...

...full of grace and beauty...

...but as with many parties...

...there is a morning after.

Uh, snow? You're cool and all...but would you just go home now? Please?

Sunday Contest: Caption That Stupid Picture, Fifth Edition

Come to me my pretty, and your little dog Toto, too…

Well, a pretty good turnout for the 4th Edition of the Caption That Stupid Picture Contest! I have to say this was a toughie. Some good funny stuff. I had some belly laughs with this set! However, in any contest a winner must be chosen. So here goes, the winning entry from Douglas at Boomer Musings:

"Now, after planting the ginger snaps and marking the row, carefully water them..."

I don’t know why, but I kept coming back to it and giggling like a giddy schoolgirl*. That, and Douglas even said in his comment “Here’s the winning entry…”

So a big round of digital applause, raise a glass and give a hearty “Woot!” to the winner and to everyone who commented:

Rawan at It’s All Good
Joanie at Joanie’s Random Ramblings
Angie at GUMBO WRITER
Beth at What I Should Have Said
The King at King Of New York Hacks (I’m out of Spam, bro!)
Ron at Clark Kent’s Lunchbox (He’s an author!)
Mike at Rambling Thoughts
Pseudo at Pseudonymous High School Teacher
only a movie at Only A Movie
flutter at Flutter Dark & Divine (see the photos)
IB at Idiot’s Stew (go.read.dig it.)
Jeanne at The Raisin Chronicles

Thanks so much, one and all! Now sharpen your….whatever it is that you sharpen when you get ready to use your noggin, because here comes the Stupid Photo Contest, 5th Edition:

I have faith in you, my lovelies. Make me proud! Mostly, make me (us**) laugh!

*Not that I know what that’s like, really. I mean, I’ve never wanted to be a giddy schoolgirl. At least not since I got rid of the saddle oxfords and plaid skirt. Damn, I had the legs for it, too…
**I don’t mean that in the royal ‘us’ sense. I mean, ‘us’ in the sense of ‘you and I’. And ‘you’ meaning all of those I am blessed enough as to have as visitors to my humble blog.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Oh, Jeez, Not Again Edition

Crikey, it seems like I was just here. Wait, where is here? Oh, that's its:

YEAH, WELL, GOOGLE, YOU SUCK: I can see it out of the corner of my eye. It's there. Hovering, taunting me. You know in the gmail sidebar, those little messages you can post up to announce your status? That's cool and all, but the one that just bugs me a little is the one that says "You are invisible". Gee, thanks guys, my self-esteem was already pretty low, but that is just gratuitous. Pile on, everybody!

GOOD THING I DON'T HAVE TO WRITE A REPORT: Looking around here, I am struck by the quantity of books that I have somehow accrued. As an example, to my right are a copy of the Bhagavad Gita, the Confessions of Saint Augustine and a book of poetry by the 13th century Persian poet Rumi. Across the room I have a shelf of nothing but The Year's Best Science Fiction, Numbers 14 through 25. (Holy crap, have I been reading them that long?). I have one short bookcase devoted to nothing but books on food, including How To Read A French Fry by Russ Parsons (and which I have yet to crack). There is a two volume set of works by Rudyard Kipling. The Fine Homebuilding master set of collected wisdom on ...fine homebuilding. My blue-cloth covered copy of Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (in the top 3 of my favorite books). Now, if I could just find my long-lost manual on Getting A Clue, I'd be all set.

DO I HAVE TO PICK JUST ONE? Favorite object. Favorite tool. Favorite thing. I don't know if I have one. Or at least I haven't thought about it too much. I have a hand-blown glass sculpture based on a calla lily, that I acquired many years ago. I really like it, but just not sure if it is my favorite. A friend of mine gave me this plastic lens-shaped souvenir, it has a real scorpion encased it. That's cool too, if a little unsettling...

GREEN IS THE NEW BLACK: From a walk in the rain last Sunday. So much greeniness, I just wanted to wrap myself up in it and take a long, cool nap...

FINALLY, I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY: Once again, dear readers, I have been blessed and honored with an award! This is really nice, and I'm feeling humbled and all warm and fuzzy. This is from Angie at Gumbo Writer, and I am very flattered she thought of me:

Please drop by her place, dig into some good stuff on writin' and eatin, and for the deets on the Humane award. Tell Angie hello and that I sent you. Hoo whee!

slurppp.slurrppp. That sound means we are at the bottom of the milkshake cup, peoples. As good as it is, there ain't no more. Still, there is always next Tuesday and another milkshake!

"I drink your milkshake!" Happy Random Tuesday, everyone! Don't forget, there is still time to enter the Stupid Photo Caption Contest, posted last Sunday, August 2nd, right here on Irish Gumbo! Enter and rejoice!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Eat Here Get Gas Edition

Holy bucket o’ chicken with three sides, Batpeople! It’s that time again, grab a button and go!

LET’S HOPE NOT AT THE SAME TIME: So I’m watching some fine video tranquilizers, er, kids’ programming on the ol’ idiot box, Wee Lass at my side, and a new show has come on. New for me, anyway. The storyline involves two adorable pigs, best friends with big imaginations who just love traveling the world and seeing things and learning stuff. All good, right? Well, the name of the pigs and the show? “TOOT and PUDDLE”. Are those words you really want associated with small children who are still learning the finer points of sphincter control?

GOOD THING THESE WEREN’T ON THE FOOD NETWORK: Okay, sometimes I am easily amused. Scrolling through the channel guide (see previous item), I came across this:

Hooray! Muy bueno!

And just a few channels over:

Beginnings and ends, weddings and funerals, the Alpha and the Omega…


MANDARIN FOR “I DARE YOU TO EAT THAT”: For some reason I’m on another thought loop involving Chinese food. Last week I ginned up a Chinese-inspired bok choy and mushroom stir-fry, sauced up with toban djan and soy sauce (light and dark), garlic and ginger. Pretty tasty stuff. Curiosity being what it is, I have been leafing through some of what passes for my reference library on Chinese food, once again turning to my favorite Western interpreter of the cuisine, Fuchsia Dunlop. Reading her Shark’s Fin and Sichuan Pepper memoir, something caught my eye and brought my stomach up short. She was in Beijing and wanted to sample “street food”, and was directed to find something called lu zhu huo shao. She said that loosely translated it meant “flatbread in broth”. What she got was nowhere near flatbread. Think “offal” and how it rhymes with “awful”. Probably should have said “parts of animals not for the faint of heart or stomach in broth”. Whuff. Suffice to say, I was happy to munch away on my greens and ‘shrooms, that’ll do for me…

MINE IS PROBABLY OVERDONE: Of the many things that can be done with codfish, turning it into dried salt cod (or bacalao) is probably one of the best known. Seems that the Norwegians and the Spaniards in particular had a hankering for the stuff. The Norwegians are also the best known producers of stockfish, which is air-dried cod (other fish can be used), and which ends up making the fish hard as rocks. Seriously, these things get like baseball bats. Probably why Norway is the world leader in fish related beatings per capita*. So what do you do with the other parts of the fish? Well, in his book Cod: A Biography of the Fish that Changed the World (a neat read, by the way), Mark Kurlansky offers us a clue. At the end of one the chapters, there is a short end piece titled ‘The Well-Cooked Head’. Apparently, roasting a cod’s head is a vanishing art. Dammit, and I was just learning how to roast squash, now this?

TRULY THE ART OF EATING: In keeping with my mild obsession on Chinese food, let us now consider the wonton. I love wonton. I could eat them by the pound. Come to think of it, I have eaten them by the pound. There are, however, two difficulties for me with wonton. One, I don’t know if I am patient enough to make them myself, or at least patient enough to make them well. Two, I am not sure if I have ever had truly excellent wonton (or chao shou, to get all Sichuanese on you)**, but I don’t have enough experience with them to know what separates an average wonton from a stellar won. Er, one. Not to worry, I’ll continue to be on the lookout for more test subjects, to increase my store of knowledge. On that note, consider this little tidbit: in his delightful book Swallowing Clouds, A. Zee posits that one of the common ways to write ‘wonton’ in Chinese*** is translated as…’swallowing clouds’. Isn’t that wonderful?

Happy Tuesday, dear readers, I’m stuffed! Although I could swallow some more clouds…

*I totally made that up.
**Please indulge my nerdiness.
***Forgive the simplification; it’s just that I can’t reproduce the characters here.

Semi-Random, 'Cause I'm A Headless Chicken

Whew. A short one this week, folks. I'm tired and shagged out from a long squawk. So this week, it's random to the tune of one thing:

The lurvely and delish Marguerite at Cajun Delights bestowed upon me an award! Dig this:

I would tell you all about it, but...I'm tired. Please do stop by Cajun Delights, get the deets on this and many other tasty things (seafood, oh lawd, seafood)(and beer), and tell her I sent you.

Happy Tuesday, y'all!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Dude, Where's My Car? Edition

Go on. Take it. You know you want one. It's Random Tuesday Thought, yo! Grab it and go!

BUT HE MEANS IT IN THE BEST POSSIBLE SENSE OF THE WORD: You want to read something funny? My vote for the best Blog Post Title of the Year, read it here. Funny title, good article. And, no, I am not related to the author, although he is a friend and former neighbor.

I DO NEED IT, BUT NOT REALLY IN THE WAY THEY MEAN IT: Again with the random targeted ads. This stuff is comedy gold, I tell ya! There it was, floating in my sidebar:

"Need Cleavage Coverage? Make an impression with your resume not your cleavage. We can help!"

Okay, that's just a big, fat softball waiting to be hit out of the park. I'll start: "Pardon me, miss, can I make an impression OF your cleavage?" You guys, feel free to add your own joke...

A STUPID GAG THAT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH: This giraffe walks into a bar and says "The high balls are on me!" Now that's comedy!

ITS TOO BAD YOU CAN'T MARRY A SANDWICH (ALTHOUGH LEGISLATION MAY BE IN THE WORKS): I'm always on the lookout for new things to meet and eat (make your own pun there), so it was with great interest and perhaps a little lust that my "foodar"* went off like a cheap fireworks display when my blogging buddy cIII let slip in conversation the knowledge of the Hot Brown Sandwich. Bacon, turkey, Mornay sauce and tomato on toast. I likes me a good sandwich, and if visiting with The Goat and Tater Man hisself wasn't reason enough to visit the great state of Kentucky, the Hot Brown sounds like it runs a close second.

Kentucky, here I come...

WHAT ARE WORDS FOR, IF NOT TO MYSTIFY AND BEFUDDLE: I have been working on an informal project as of late, trying to identify words that I really like, that really appeal to me. When I first started, I got all tangled up in trying to define the criteria by which I could decide why really like them. But that became too hard to do, too much work, too much angst over what should be a pleasant task. So I threw all that out the window, and wrote down the first word that popped into my head. That word? "Boing". Just that: boing. BoingBoingBoing. BOING! Not even a real word, but there you have it. Try using it in a business conversation today!

TURN THE HEAT ON AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS: Over the weekend, the Wee Lass and I were timekillin' by watching some mindspooge on TV, SpongeBob or something similar. I looked out the window and said "Hey, it's a real nice day, you wanna go to the playground?" To which she turned her withering gaze on me and replied "No, Daddy, are you kidding me? It's too hot to think!" The thermostat read 73 degrees. At 80 degrees, she would probably pass out!

Okay, whew, time to towel off now, go find my car. Happy Random Tuesday, everyone!

*Special thanks to Darby Conley for that little gem. Darby, please be a good sport and know that I only streal from the best. I'm not plagiarizing, I'm proselytizing!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Cold, Drunk and Pantsless edition

Heyyyyyyyy, everybody! You know what time it is, am I right? AM I RIGHT? Everybody? Please, somebody gimme some props...Grab a button, release the brakes and GOOOOO!

THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING, IF BY GIVING YOU MEAN BLEATING AND POOPING: Google is an amazing thing, no doubt. I recently became aware of the little targeted ads and headers that show up in the Gmail window. I knew they were there, just really wasn't paying much attention until recently, when I was waiting for something to load. I looked up to see this header: "GiftofaGoat". Huh? I clicked on it out of curiosity, and it took me to the webpage of a large worldwide charity organization. There on the page in front of me, was the headline: "HELP LIFT A FAMILY OUT OF POVERTY WITH THE GIFT OF A GOAT". It went to explain that for a few bucks, you can buy a goat for some folks who can use it to produce milk, get hides for leather, provide food and some other things that could help an impoverished family in a developing area of the world. Wow. I know what they mean, but wouldn't a fat stack of cash be just as useful? A lot less poop...

BUT I'M A DIFFERENT KIND OF MUTHA: Also on the random targeted ads I saw, and I have no idea why it showed up on my e-mail page, was the "Are You A Bad Mother? Take the Quiz now!" advertisement. It boggles the mind that such a thing exists. I would love to see the criteria they used to generate the scores. Sample question: "DO YOU LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN UNATTENDED AT HOME WHILE YOU GO OUT DRINKING? - A: Yes B: No C: I'm appalled! D: No, they act as my designated driver..." Of course, then it should be called "Are You a Bad Muthaf**ker?"...

KEE-RIPES I WANNA PLAY LIKE THAT: Enjoying my iPod at work, with the benefit of decent headphones, I was bowled over by what, to me, is one of the badassest bass lines I have ever heard in my life. To wit, "All Wrong" by Morphine, around the 2:30 mark. The sax is good, but listen to the bass:

PUTTING THE FUN IN FUNDY: According to the Wikipedia entry on the Bay of Fundy in Canada:

"Folklore in the Mi'kmaq First Nation claims that the tides in the Bay of Fundy are caused by a giant whale splashing in the water. Oceanographers attribute it to tidal resonance resulting from a coincidence of timing: the time it takes a large wave to go from the mouth of the bay to the inner shore and back is practically the same as the time from one high tide to the next. During the 12.4 hour tidal period, 115 billion tonnes of water flow in and out of the bay."

Personally, I kinda like the giant whale theory. It's poetic, trippy and cool. Either way, folks, that is a shitload of water in a short amount of time!

THE LAW OF PERCENTAGES SAYS HE'S BOUND TO SCREW UP: Watching Blue's Clues this past weekend with my daughter, it occurred to me that once, just once, I would like to see Steve get it wrong and write down the wrong things. So then everyone would be walking around trying to figure out what the hell is wrong, and all the little kids could scream "Hey, Steve, get a clue! Get a clue! They are right in front of you!" Ooooh, speaking of Steve (actual name: Steve Burns) he performs, along with Steven Drozd of The Flaming Lips, what is quite possibly the best song EVAH done about groundhogs. For your edification and delight:

Rock the 'hogs, people! Woot!

WHAT, WILL THEY MAKE YOU EXPLODE?: Finally, because it is such a good source of randomosity (I made that up), yet another puzzling and funny targeted ad from the folks at Google. Just in case you needed some guidance, you can get "DangerousKissingTips", apparently guaranteed to make any girl "melt in your arms". Ewww. If that is what they mean by dangerous, I'll take a pass, thankyouverymuch. How do you explain that to her friends and family. "No, really, all I did was kiss her, and the next thing I knew she was soaking into the seat fabric. Really, I swear!". Better bring a mop and bucket, fellas...

pantpantpantshivershiver(hic)shivershiver(hic)...okay, now I'm gonna go put on some pants, get a blanket and wait for the room to stop spinning. Happy Tuesday!

Random Tuesday Thoughtless Edition

It's time, people! Grab a button, and get all randomicated!

FROM THE UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY FILES: I had all sorts of ideas buzzing around in my head, but pretty much lost it after seeing this, in a local grocery store:

Yeah, yeah, I know what they meant...but I still don't want to know how they make it!

Happy Tuesday, one and all!

Warning: Unauthorized Use Of The Word "Wiener"

Okay, class, you've read the title. Now, discuss!

Random Tuesday Thoughts Takes It In The Nards

Groooooan! Urffff. Arrrggghhh. Like a fastball to the junk, it’s time for Randomness once again, dear readers! Grab a button and an ice pack and hobble with me!

FIRST, A REDIRECTION: Ladies and gentlemen, as I mentioned yesterday in a hasty post (post haste?) I had been honored by a request to guest post later this week, but things went awry and I was asked to fill in on today's post over at cookAppeal. Stop on by and have a big bowl o' gumbo and other goodness, tell Chef E I sent you!

PIECE O’ CRAP ON WHEELS: Why is it the amount of bling on do-it-your-self “StreetCarz” seems to be in proportion to the crappiness (i.e. LOUDNESS) of the exhaust system? What, you can spend who knows how much money on Day-glo wiper blade covers, a “car bra”, and a useless spoiler, but you can’t buy a decent muffler? Trust me, jackass, you aren’t as cool as you think you are just because your car sounds like an elephant farting inside a culvert pipe. The only person I ever admired who had a loud exhaust was my sainted maternal grandmother, and that’s because a blue-haired tough broad driving a bright red Ford Fairlane 500 tricked out with a glass-pack Cherry Bomb muffler is WAY cooler than some dumbass gangsta wanna-be…

CUISINE DE LA JUNQUE: I know it’s really bad for me, but there is something liberating about scarfing down half a big bag of Doritos, while standing in the kitchen in your boxers. It would only be better if there was salsa. Mmm, come to the trough with me…

YOU ARE PART OF THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND A TRAITOR: I have on my bookshelf and old edition of “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” by Edward Gibbon. Randomly selected, I came across this gem: “When facing a revolt in the provinces, the response must be swift, brutal and efficient”. I feel the same way sometimes when I get indigestion. Down that GI tract, can’t trust it, always acting up and plotting against me…

TO COVERLETS AND BEYOND!: The coupon said Bed, Bath & Beyond. How exciting! My imagination soared, I could feel myself drawn to distant lands, exotic ports of call, sailing the seven seas…and then I realized that all I really needed was a folding step ladder and maybe some hangers for my closet. Sigh. Back to reality, I guess…But then the question occurred to me: when they say “Bed, Bath & Beyond” what does that mean? Beyond what?

IT REALLY IS A HAPPY HOUR: Who knew that such a thing existed?:

Wonder what the happy hour is like…

LIFE WOULD BE SO DIFFERENT IF THIS WAS MY NAME: Consider the word “banjo”. Go on, consider it. Would it or would it not make a really cool name for something besides the musical instrument? Maybe I should have named my daughter banjo. No, no, that’s just silly isn’t it? I mean, come on, “Banjo” is really a BOY’S name. And I know I mentioned a banjo in last week’s randomness, but I just couldn’t get the word out of my head.

“Hi, there. Name’s Banjo. Banjo Fitzsimmons, pleased to meet you!”…

IF YOU MUSK: I find it fascinating that one of the primary ingredients in old-style, high quality perfumes was or is musk. A substance that can be collected from the anal glands of civet cats or musk deer. Imagine that. Nothing says “Hey, I am aromatically attractive, please sleep with me!” like the butt juice from poor, unsuspecting animals. I also wonder, who first gave this a try, and how did they decide they were going to ‘harvest’ the substance? I’m not gonna do it, you do it…Ewww…

Whew. Okay, the room won’t stop spinning, I’m going to go lay down now. Happy Random Tuesday, one and all!

The Good, The Bad (and Sometimes Ugly)

A LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE: Earlier this week, I was gifted with this award:

This little gem came from f8hasit, and my hats off to the lovely lady! Thank you! And you should really check out her post on midges, which has one of the best lines I've read recently, anywhere, on anything:

"
...So the best is to vacuum them up....or just wait for the bastards to die."

Ahh, good times...

WHICH WAS GOOD BECAUSE LATER IN THE WEEK:

Sometimes, life feels like that.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Golden Hamster Edition

LET'S GET READY TO RRRRUMMMMMBBBBLE! It's that time of the week again , so let's go crazy and look for that purple banana until they put us in the truck!* Grab a button, and get all random and stuff!

WORD FOR THE DAY: The word for the day is "schlong". Say it out loud. "SCHLONG". Consider it carefully. Schlong. schlongschlongschlong. Now you can't stop thinking about it, can you? AIIIIGGGGHHH!!!

WEIRD AND LOVELY THINGS: The lurvely Purest Green at where there are no chickadees sent me a most amazing postcard of what she called "ghost surgeons". It was just weird enough that I had to see it. Check this out:

This is an actual painting, at the (I think) National Galleries of Scotland (PG, help me out here) called Three Oncologists. And it hangs in a portarit gallery. Commissioned in 2002. Pretty bizarro, and I'm glad (?) I asked to see the card. Speaking of cards, Purest Green has a bit of a small project to send postcards to people. Why, you ask? So she can send all the ones she has and then go buy more, silly! If you would like a card, drop by her blog, tell her I sent you, and ask nicely. And check out the picture of her with the big hat, fit for the Queen Mum.

WEIRDO RELIGIOUS FACTS, VOL. 1 - BOGOMIL IS BULGARIAN FOR "DEAR TO GOD": Among other things, the Bogomils (a religious sect that arose in 10th Century Bulgaria) believed that God had two sons, the rebellious Satan and the obedient Jesus. No surprise, the Bogomils were considered heretics. Still, the idea isn't that far-fetched...but I wouldn't want to be called "Bogomil". Sounds like infant formula for clowns...

HOME ENTERTAINING WITH IRISH GUMBO: When having squirrels** over as guests, make sure to have on hand some drink coasters that double as nut dishes. We must be gracious to ALL our guests, no?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PICKLE?: It's a battle to the death. Dill? Kosher dill? Bread and butter? Garlic pickles? Cornichons? Gherkins? It's like you go to the supermarket thinking "Dude, I wants me some pickles" and you get there and there is Claussen and Vlasic and Mt. Olive and the store brand and the kosher ones you can only find in the refrigerated section next to the bottles of horseradish and a brand called "Ba-Tampte", oh and those ones that come in the bright yellow can that say "Mediterranean Sweet and Sour Pickles" and then when you go back to finally try them the cans still have pictures of pickles on them but they don't say "Sweet and sour" anymore, it's something else, so back to the other aisle and then kee-ripes its slices or stackers or whole or whole baby pickles or relish, oh, hell no I didn't want relish I wanted pickles, pickles, PICKLES dammit, why did this have to be soooo harrrrrddddd....(beats head on floor).

POOL DORK: For the first time ever, I had the pool all to myself. Actually, it was me and the lifeguard, but she wasn't swimming. So what is the first thing Mr. Michael Phelps (not) does when he hits the water? Takes off swimming like a brick and sucks in a big snootful of highly chlorinated water. Which leads to his imitation of a hippopotamus with a lung problem. Yeah, man, real smooth, hornking and snorting like that...

BUT CAN YOU PLAY KLEZMER MUSIC ON IT?: Finally, for anyone looking for a weekend project to do with the kids:

Whew! So there it is, another RanDoooM 2sDayyy Thawts! Happy Tuesday, one and all!

*Bonus points and kudos if you know what that is from.
**Everyone except IB and cIII, that is.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: GumboIsAVirgin Edition

Can you believe it? I mean, seriously, really? It's time for "Random Tuesday Thoughts" courtesy of the UnMom, which many of you (i.e. all of you) have heard of. Apaprently, everyone except me. 'Cause in all the time I have been blogging, I've never done the random Tuesday thing. Never. Nope. Nada. Which means (gasp) i'mavirgin that this is the first time I have done it. So grab a button, or something, and get started!

DISH SOAP: I have a big bottle of Palmolive dish soap sitting on the edge of my sink. One of the big clear ones filled with green goo. I bought it because I was in a hurry, needed soap and forgot to consider that the word "Palmolive" gives me the creeps. I don't know why, it just sounds vaguely unwholesome.

FIX THE DAMN THING ALREADY: One of my neighbors has a job that apparently requires him to leave by 5:00 in the f*&%in' morning. I say f*&%in' because he also has a car that has a muffler that sounds like Snuffaluffagus (did I spell that right? who cares, I'm tired) with a head cold having a seizure. Seriously, I'm thinking about lending him some greenbacks, tell him to have that thing looked at. If it isn't broken, then he should be smacked around a bit. Dammit.

STR-STR-STR-STREAMING AUDIO: I listen to my favorite radio station quite a lot, by streaming it over my laptop through a wireless rig to my speakers. It sounds GREAT, mostly, except for the ti-ti-ti-times the au-au-au-audio player software gets the hi-hi-hi-hiccups. Then, it's just weird, I mean, really we-we-we-weird. I thought it must just be the beer talking, but it happens mostly in the mornings while I eat breakfast. And I don't drink beer for breakfast. Very often.

KIDS AND THE DARNDEST THINGS #1: A while back, me and the Wee Lass were bellied up to the dinner table, shoving calories down our necks, when the subject of music came up. In the course of our conversation, I was asking her what kind of music she liked. We sang a little bit of the Spongebob Campfire Song:

Hilarity ensued. Then, I asked her if she liked to "shake her booty", and emphasized the question by shaking mine with gusto. Wee Lass looked at me with all seriousness and said "Daddy, don't dance while you eatin'". Hmm. Good advice, indeed.

KIDS AND THE DARNDEST THINGS #2: Watching "The Little Mermaid", the wedding scene on the ship, where it is discovered that the evil Ursula has taken on the guise of Ariel. When Ursula is found out, reverting back to her octopus form, Wee Lass said: "Why would anybody want to marry someone so ugly?" I don't know, sweetie, money?

WTF Files: While looking for something else, I found this image in my files:

I don't know, man...

ITS FUNNY BECAUSE ITS STUPID: Not sure exactly why, but the following video makes me laugh until I nearly wet myself:

So there you have it, my very first Random Tuesday Thoughts, Gumbo-style! I'd say get over to Keely's and give thanks and drop some comment luv! Happy Tuesday!

"You Cannot Possibly Comprehend The Forces Arrayed Against You"

Mommy, I'm skeered....

Tidbits: Lessons In Humility

Ah, Sunday, another day of rest. In so far as it is possible to really rest trying to keep an eyeball or two or a four-year old with more energy than the Sun. It is a bit unfair to blame all my current malaise on Wee Lass; she is an innocent in all this. Sometimes I think if she were a story the title would be “The Accidental Vampire”.

The primary reasons why I am feeling an overused Coppertop is…well…everything else. Keeping up with the blog and all the great bloggy friends I have made and looking for a “real” job while trying to write enough stuff to jump start a budding writing career and deal with some profound personal changes: all this has depleted my reserves to an all-time low. Life right now seems a bit like watching a really exciting soccer match between two great teams, but not having enough energy to do more than say “yay”. No stomping of feet, no jumping out of my seat, just “yay”.

There are some notable exceptions, a few of which I will share herein, this my randomish Sunday post for the first day of March.

REASONS TO BE HUMBLE

People talk, you hear things. More accurately, people comment, they blog things. Recently, I may have blogged some things that apparently had a deep effect on some nice folks of my acquaintance. They were kind and generous enough to let me know. Witness this from That Baldy Fellow at Nick Nack Blog Attack/The Tales Of Squire Kirk the Elder, on “Books, Unwritten”:

“I wasn't going to comment as I can't think of something adequate to say that does justice to this post. But I didn't want to not comment and leave you thinking it hadn't been read.So I'll simply say that it's another post that makes me wish my own writing was a lot better...”

He is a fine writer in his own right, so this was complimentary, indeed!

Then there is this lovely sentiment from one of my favorite bloggy/doggy friends, Henry the Dog at Henry the Dog Blog, on “Taken down a Peg”:

“…To be honest, you're sometimes much too intellecutal for mum and me (and I'm going to leave the transposed spelling of that word 'cause I think it's funny given the context of my comment) and so we don't always 'get' you. But we 'get' you more often than we don't and anyway even when we don't 'get' you - the sound that your words make is nice, like music.”

It isn’t everyday that a wonderful little dog can make me all misty, but Henry did it. “Music” he says. The musician in my heart weeps with joy at such a high honor!

And then there was this one, from Jan at Jan’s Sushi Bar, on “I’ll Stop the World and Melt”:

“….I just sat and cried while I read this. No, really, bawled my fucking eyes out. I've got a companion piece coming. Sort of. It's about feeling overwhelmed, anyway.”

The lovely Jan did write that companion piece here, and in it she linked to my post. And if you haven’t seen it yet, READ IT NOW. It is a well-written and powerful (and when I say powerful, I mean it made me tear up) account of confronting some uniquely female issues. If you are a woman, I suspect there will be some “amen, sister!” responses; if you are a man, I sense some enlightenment in your future. Her honesty and candor and deeply heartfelt essay will stick with you. Not unlike some of the tasty-sounding recipes she has posted, mmm, mmm.

It isn’t an exaggeration to say that comments such as those leave me gobsmacked. I am thrilled that people are interested in what I have to write, and I am also deeply humbled that something I have said could have such an effect on people. It is a needed reminder of the reach of the electronic medium we inhabit, and of the potential we have to affect someone else. The computer screen has a way of making us forget that there is someone else on the other side of it. All the fermentations of the brain that we pour into it end up somewhere, whether we remember it or not. I am fortunate and deeply grateful to have a method of effectively emptying the flea market/brewery/dance hall/wildlife sanctuary that is my mind. That there is someone returning the serve I’m dishing up, well, that is tasty icing on a very nice cake.

There a whole bunch of good folks I need to think, and many of them know who they are. I’ll get to you, my pretties, I just need to rest a bit, get some energy back…

MORE INTERESTING THAN CSI: POUGHKEEPSIE

Speaking of people I need to thank, I want to direct your attention to the debut of an interesting new website/magazine called The Open Case, devoted to solving unsolved crimes. According to the creators, it is “Part magazine, part social networking site, part private investigator, the site is a cross between Facebook and America's Most Wanted.” That description alone is reason enough to spend some time on site. I do have an ulterior motive, in addition to that. See? Motive? Pretty good for a crime-related site, yeah? Hehheh.

The motive? Well, one of the contributing columnists is a gentleman by name of Rich Shea. Rich is, unlike myself, a professional journalist and writer (and a good one, I can tell you!) and is writing a column/blog entitled “Popular Forensics”. This debut edition for Rich revisits Truman Capote’s “In Cold Blood”, which is coming up on its 50th (50th!) anniversary later in the year.

I, uh, have not, um, read “In Cold Blood” yet. *shame* It is one of those books that is perpetually on my To Read list. However, after reading Rich’s very fine explication of the book (and the movie based on it) I am inspired to bump it to the top ten on my reading list. I was familiar with the story, but Rich illuminated it in a whole new way for me, one that made me want to read the book and really understand it. It’s a pretty safe bet that you will too. So please, drop by The Open Case and check them out. Who knows, you may have some useful information on one of those cases…

Disclosure: In addition to being a fine journalist and writer, Rich is also my former neighbor* and current good friend. Rich and I have had numerous discussions about writing professionally and all that it entails. We both are also pursuing creative writing avenues, and have shared stories and volunteered editorial time critiquing each other’s works. His advice and guidance have proved very valuable to me**. Seeing as he is a professional and has the credentials to back it up, that is another example of the icing on the cake.

*The reasons he is a former neighbor have nothing to do with me. Really. He and his family simply needed more spacious digs. Besides, the records were expunged, so you’ll never know, will you? Hehheh.

**Such as teaching me the value of disclosure. It can save a lot of hassle in the long run.

Tidbits From The Gumbo Pot

Another day of rest, supposedly, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to ease off the pedal and partake of some randomization. About time, I suppose. There seems to be a rash of that on this marvelous Interwebs of ours. So, let’s randomize, shall we?

ASIAN CHEESE
I have oftened wondered why, given the vast size of Asia and the existence of so many different types of cattle there, that cheese never gained the prominence in Asian cuisines that it has in European (and by extension, American) cuisines. I know that fermented bean curd could be seen as an ‘analog’ of cheese, but I have to believe that someone somewhere in say, China, must have noticed the phenomenon of curdled milk on its way to becoming cheese. Somehow the “meme” for cheese-making never took off in Asia the same way it did elsewhere. I have heard cheese described as “milk so rotten it turned solid”, which could explain it.

SOME FLUTTER IS GOOD
Through the wise and all-seeing direction of Vodka Mom, I had my wandering attention span directed to the blog of the lovely Flutter. She has some very interesting things on her mind, and some amazing photographs that you should see. As an added bonus, she recently posted a video for the song ‘Typical’ that reminded me to purchase the new album from one of my new favorite bands, Mutemath*. The song works on a number of different levels, the simplest of which is, it is a damn good tune. So herewith, for you audio/visual pleasure, MUTEMATH:

IN MY MIND, I’M A FREAKIN’ DECATHLETE!
Exercise. I know I should be getting it. But I just don’t. There is an elliptical trainer in my basement, which I used to use every single day during the week, and walking for exercise on the weekends, but something happened and I fell out of the habit. The weather here has been cold, windy and gray a lot, which doesn’t help with the outdoor activity. I likes my walks around the lake and the fresh air. The trainer is good, but boring. Maybe if I tied some wolves to the back of it that would give more incentive to work fast. Great cardio, I suspect. For now, I’ll content myself with exercise in the form watching my daughter run around in circles in the house. That’s a full time job in itself. Quite vigorous, too. My eyeballs are BUFF!

TAGGED: IT AIN”T JUST GRAFFITI ANYMORE
Well, it finally happened. I got tagged. The luscious Teri at Cold Lemonade (and a tall drink she is, mmm...) ambushed me with the “25 Random Things About Me” meme. Ordinarily, I have been avoiding tagging because I don’t want to make a busy schedule even busier for me or someone else, but in this case I made an exception.**

25 Things Floating In The Gumbo Pot:
1) My first name, Kevin, is derived from a Celtic language, and supposedly means “the beautiful offspring” or “pleasant, comely” or “noble, kind and friendly man”.
2) I love music, can’t carry a tune in a bucket.
3) At various times in my life, I have wanted to be a rock star, a monk and a research chemist with a concentration in brewing/fermentation.
4) A good song can make me cry from joy, sorrow or nostalgia.
5) The first dog I can remember having was a beagle named ‘Lucy’.
6) Somedays, all I want out of life is a bologna sandwich and a beer.
7) Speaking of sandwiches, my Mom makes the best grilled peanut butter sandwich in the Universe. I still miss those sandwiches. All hail the Moms!
8) I began blogging on October 5th, 2008, and have been fortunate to have not missed a single day of posting.
9) I used to have, and wear, a pair of black denim pants festooned with zippers all over, including the knees. I bought them in England.
10) I do not recommend sliding across the dance floor while wearing pants with zippers on the knees. It hurts. A lot.
11) I used to have a blond streak in my hair, on the right. I did it on purpose.
12) I once pierced my own ear with a short pin. After I finished bleeding and screaming, I installed a small gold cross earring.
13) Three weeks later, I had to take the cross out because league rules forbid playing soccer while wearing piercings or certain kinds of jewelry. That sucked.
14) Clip on ties used to be a part of my wardrobe. I am shamed.
15) My favorite malt beverage of the beer type is Guinness Stout draft, no contest.
16) Some days my eyes look blue, some days they greenish or grayish. I have not verified if that corresponds to moods.
17) Most people who know me would say I am moody.
18) The ‘Moody Blues’ would not show up on my list of favorite bands.
19) If I could form my own band, it would probably play some kind of Celtic funk-rock. Bagpipes would be involved, and possibly tubas.
20) I find tubas to be funny. Trumpets, not so much.
21) I used to be able to play the opening chords to Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” on guitar AND harmonica.
22) I wanted to be an architect starting in 7th grade, because I wanted to draw houses for a living. I was very naive.
23) Writing is what I really want to do, I just didn’t know until now.
24) The amount of things I know is miniscule compared to the amount of things I don’t know. This vexes me greatly.
25) Soccer (“footie”) is my favorite sport, hands down. I am still an American.

So there you have it, 25 random things about the mystery that is me. I’ll forgo the tagging of others. Just for shits and giggles, though, scroll through my blog roll and randomly pick some to visit, drop some comment love.

I think that about does it. Happy Sunday morning to all, I’m going to watch some cartoons with my Wee Lass, and see if I can rustle up a bologna sandwich.

*And a special thanks to my friend Wesley S. for layin’ the band on me in the first place. Dude, that dvd RAWKS!

**I admit that in this case, it did give me the opportunity to add to my post, ‘cause I’m tired and feeling a bit shagged out. But also, Teri is a force of nature, in a good way. And don’t mess with Mother Nature! I am terrible at following rules, though.