Family Home Evening

It is a favorite of our kids to pick the songs for Family Home Evening. Kiley of course was jumping begging to sing the "doggie song". I had no idea what she was talking about. So I finally asked her to sing it for me.

Kiley, "Who let the dogs out, who, who, who!!"

hahahaha

Kids really are funny

Our neighbor boy hurt his tooth while eating lunch at our house.

Neighbor boy: "I think my tooth is crack."

Cutler: "Don't you worry my mom is going to be a nurse, or a dentist I can't remember. She can help you"

Rob and I laughed quietly on the side. Later I told our neighbor that what he said and she said, "Oh, that makes so much more sense why Cutler said today to me that I didn't have to go to my dentist." He told her I was a dentist, she could just come see me.

hahahaha

If you were wondering why all the confusion in our young son. Well, I am going to start school again. I have a plan, a very long plan, not quick at all, and in the end I won't be a Dr., but maybe an RN (Nurse). Don't start counting down the days to me finishing, I have a good 7 years to go. Because it will be slow, and I am a mother most importantly. I have to say our kids are very, very excited, and I am too.

Tsunami

"If a tsunami of the soul is washing over you, you just hang in there. Its force will fade. All of that tumbling and rolling will intensify your faith, strengthen your resolve to lift others who also experience tsunamis, and polish your character. It will leave you breathless." - Lynn C. Jaynes

Come What May, and Love It

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostle

The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

When I was young I loved playing sports, and I have many fond memories of those days. But not all of them are pleasant. I remember one day after my football team lost a tough game, I came home feeling discouraged. My mother was there. She listened to my sad story. She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.

When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.

“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”

I have often reflected on that counsel.

I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.

There may be some who think that General Authorities rarely experience pain, suffering, or distress. If only that were true. While every man and woman on this stand today has experienced an abundant measure of joy, each also has drunk deeply from the cup of disappointment, sorrow, and loss. The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness.

For me, the Lord has opened the windows of heaven and showered blessings upon my family beyond my ability to express. Yet like everyone else, I have had times in my life when it seemed that the heaviness of my heart might be greater than I could bear. During those times I think back to those tender days of my youth when great sorrows came at the losing end of a football game.

How little I knew then of what awaited me in later years. But whenever my steps led through seasons of sadness and sorrow, my mother’s words often came back to me: “Come what may, and love it.”

How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me through times of testing and trial. I would like to share them with you.

Learn to Laugh

The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. Have you ever seen an angry driver who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog, and his ancestors all the way back to Adam? Or have you had an encounter with an overhanging cupboard door left open at the wrong place and the wrong time which has been cursed, condemned, and avenged by a sore-headed victim?

There is an antidote for times such as these: learn to laugh.

I remember loading up our children in a station wagon and driving to Los Angeles. There were at least nine of us in the car, and we would invariably get lost. Instead of getting angry, we laughed. Every time we made a wrong turn, we laughed harder.

Getting lost was not an unusual occurrence for us. Once while heading south to Cedar City, Utah, we took a wrong turn and didn’t realize it until two hours later when we saw the “Welcome to Nevada” signs. We didn’t get angry. We laughed, and as a result, anger and resentment rarely resulted. Our laughter created cherished memories for us.

I remember when one of our daughters went on a blind date. She was all dressed up and waiting for her date to arrive when the doorbell rang. In walked a man who seemed a little old, but she tried to be polite. She introduced him to me and my wife and the other children; then she put on her coat and went out the door. We watched as she got into the car, but the car didn’t move. Eventually our daughter got out of the car and, red faced, ran back into the house. The man that she thought was her blind date had actually come to pick up another of our daughters who had agreed to be a babysitter for him and his wife.

We all had a good laugh over that. In fact, we couldn’t stop laughing. Later, when our daughter’s real blind date showed up, I couldn’t come out to meet him because I was still in the kitchen laughing. Now, I realize that our daughter could have felt humiliated and embarrassed. But she laughed with us, and as a result, we still laugh about it today.

The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.

Seek for the Eternal

The second thing we can do is seek for the eternal. You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me?”

But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.

I love the scriptures because they show examples of great and noble men and women such as Abraham, Sarah, Enoch, Moses, Joseph, Emma, and Brigham. Each of them experienced adversity and sorrow that tried, fortified, and refined their characters.

Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.

Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.

Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail:

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”1

With that eternal perspective, Joseph took comfort from these words, and so can we. Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.

The Principle of Compensation

The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails. I have seen this in my own life. My grandson Joseph has autism. It has been heartbreaking for his mother and father to come to grips with the implications of this affliction.

They knew that Joseph would probably never be like other children. They understood what that would mean not only for Joseph but for the family as well. But what a joy he has been to us. Autistic children often have a difficult time showing emotion, but every time I’m with him, Joseph gives me a big hug. While there have been challenges, he has filled our lives with joy.

His parents have encouraged him to participate in sports. When he first started playing baseball, he was in the outfield. But I don’t think he grasped the need to run after loose balls. He thought of a much more efficient way to play the game. When a ball was hit in his direction, Joseph watched it go by and then pulled another baseball out of his pocket and threw that one to the pitcher.

Any reservations that his family may have had in raising Joseph, any sacrifices they have made have been compensated tenfold. Because of this choice spirit, his mother and father have learned much about children with disabilities. They have witnessed firsthand the generosity and compassion of family, neighbors, and friends. They have rejoiced together as Joseph has progressed. They have marveled at his goodness.

Trust in the Father and the Son

The fourth thing we can do is put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”2 The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.

He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong.3

One of our daughters, after giving birth to a baby, became seriously ill. We prayed for her, administered to her, and supported her as best we could. We hoped she would receive a blessing of healing, but days turned into months, and months turned into years. At one point I told her that this affliction might be something she would have to struggle with the rest of her life.

One morning I remember pulling out a small card and threading it through my typewriter. Among the words that I typed for her were these: “The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.”

She did put her trust in God. But her affliction did not disappear. For years she suffered, but in due course, the Lord blessed her, and eventually she returned to health.

Knowing this daughter, I believe that even if she had never found relief, yet she would have trusted in her Heavenly Father and “[left] the rest to Him.”

Conclusion

Although my mother has long since passed to her eternal reward, her words are always with me. I still remember her advice to me given on that day long ago when my team lost a football game: “Come what may, and love it.”

I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it.

As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what may, and love it.” Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Spotlight

When you are little spotlights come around...so far every year for my boys. It is so much fun to see them grow and change. Well, I got spotlighted in relief society...I know silly that I am still going to post my little spotlight.

Debbie Ingles--I was born in Provo Utah, and raised in raised in Payson, Ut. I lived in the same house my whole life, with one small bathroom and four tiny rooms. My parents squished 6 children in it, and usually had at least 3-4 foster childrenliving with us. When I was about 14 my family adopted two more children, and later they adopted our youngest sister. I loved school growing up. I use to get in trouble for studying all the time, I was often forced outside to play. If I wasn't studying then I was dancing. I graduated top in my High School class, and also received Dance Sterling Scholar. I looked forward to going to BYU, and once I began my plans changed dramatically. I somehow found myself in hair school. My parents, friends, and even I was shocked, but once I started school I loved it. Right after graduating from Paul Mitchell Academy the best part of my life began.

Rob and I were married March 7, 2002 in the Bountiful Temple. We met one Sunday at Prayer Meeting (just another place to find your companion in a BYU singles ward.) We were on the fast track to marriage, our first date Sept. 14, 2001, got engaged Oct. 14, 2001, and then married. In eight years, we have gotten Rob through college with a Bachelor in Photography, bought our home, made a salon in our home for me to do hair, and have four wonderful children. Our oldest Cole is 7, Cutler is 6, Kiley is 3, and our newest Carson is 5 months. We have embraced parenthood with laughter, and tears. We have had experiences with our children that I never thought would happen, like finding Cutler at the top of a light post. When asked how I got our 3 year old down from it, it seemed almost obvious I said, "get down!"

I absolutely love life. I am in no hurry to rush through it nor do I want to miss any part of what life has to bring. To enjoy life I love being with family, making food to share with others, digital scrapbooking, gardening, and more. If I was asked who I want to be when I grow up then I would say this, me, a wife and a mother of a crazy little household. A favorite quote of mine is from an ancient Roman philosopher Horace who said, “Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with grateful hand, nor postpone your joys from year to year, so that in whatever place you have been, you may say that you have lived happily.”

Preschool

I love the preschool my kids go to. I mean I love it!!! I haven't ever tried to get my kids into a different preschool then Mrs. Melanie, but I can't believe how stressful it is to try to get Kiley into her school.

So here is the process, she sends out emails to everyone, and she tells everyone that on this certain day at 6:30 am you can start calling to put them on the list for the following year 2011/2012. Crazy, and amazing. She takes about 60 kids between all her classes, and she fills up quick.

YEAH for me!!! Kiley is in, it took about 10 mins. of trying to get through, but I did it. It feels like we are trying to get her in a college class. hahahaha

Time for a Change

After five years of having Rob working the evening shift, we are changing!!! I have been so use to having him home in the mornings, and being able to go places, or schedule appt.. Thank heavens for this convenience during our last pregnancy, I was always at the Drs. Well, that isn't the point, the point is, is Rob is now working the morning shift. I should say it correctly the very early morning shift, 3:30 am -12:00 pm. Crazy, I know.

We talked, and talked, and talked about this. We discussed the pros and cons...and there are a lot of them. In this case though, the pros out weighed the cons. As long as he can get up, and get moving, and also go to bed early.

What are some of the pros...most of them stem around being with the kids after school, at dinner, during FHE, at their games, and more. Also he will be able to continue to grow his photography business. We are all very excited to see him.

Well, wish us luck. I can't believe it is all changing.