How Did You Get This Way?

This is a question that I often get asked and was asked again this week while running with a fellow tri club member in his 20's. What I think he meant was "How did an old lady like you get so fast?" OK, maybe not quite that but along those lines.

Of course, I am NOT really that fast but it has become apparent that I am faster than average when it comes to running, especially for my age (48). But how did a math/science geek, someone whose parents discouraged her from doing sports, who often finished last running laps in P.E. classes, who never did any competitive sports growing up, who has no remarkable weight loss or cancer victory story ... GET THIS WAY???

To be honest, I think it's just simply consistency and stubbornness (Dave calls it strong will). While I don't have any sports background, I did get into jogging/running back in the 70's when I was about 16. My parents hated the idea because they thought girls shouldn't be out running but my best friend had a crush on a guy who ran XC and, well, it was more important that our clique do everything we could to help her see him, which meant running (even though most of us weren't runners!).

Throughout college, grad school and into my mid-30's, I was very career driven and took pride in studying/working 60-80 hours a week. I continued to ignore my parents and jog/run off and on for some semblance of fitness but largely for stress relief. Running was a good way to get away from the desk, solve problems and let my mind relax so I could go to sleep or go back to work and get more done later. The last thing I wanted to do was put more stress on myself, however, so I never pushed myself to go fast, never kept track of mileage, pace, time or how often I did it (maybe once a week, once a month, who knows???). I do remember running fairly often when my dad was dying of cancer, though, but that was just a phase during a very stressful time.

In 2002, at age 40, I finally entered my first race, a half marathon, while visiting Kona with my sister and her husband. They'd run races before and encouraged me to sign up. I was actually in great shape (one of my 40th birthday goals) from taking karate and gym classes but I remember being terrified. I was so afraid of being timed, of having to run with other people, of having to drink out of a cup, of finishing last. No one was more shocked than I was to discover that I could run sub-8 minute miles! Maybe ~25 years of slow off and on jogging/running had given me a good aerobic base?

And similarly in 2005 at my first triathlon, I got a big surprise. First, I had no idea how tough swimming 400m would be. I hated swimming back then and didn't really know how to swim except to save my life. I freaked out when others touched me and went off course into some weeds (where gators were surely waiting to eat me). I eventually got back on course thanks to a kayaker and came out of the water nearly dead last after the longest, scariest 15 minutes of my life. Then was I was soooooo relieved (and then pissed) that I went on to hammer on the bike and run. When I finished, all I could think of was that I had to learn how to really swim so I could do more tris! So I signed up for an Ironman ...

But one thing for sure, I don't think of myself as a natural or hardcore athlete at all. I enjoy training and racing, yes, but what I'm looking for is simply more variety and quality in my life. As I've mentioned before, I had a fairly sheltered upbringing and a lot of fears growing up. There are a lot of things I didn't do because I was too Type A in school/work, too worried about trying new things and sucking at them, too uptight about not being able to control things the way I want, too whatever. Karate challenged me to look at things differently and in endurance sports now, I am quite different, or at least trying to be. I'm continually finding ways to keep things fun, keep active and keep improving myself *without* running myself into the ground. That's what I think has allowed me to "Get This Way" and whatever happens Sunday at the Gator Half Iron Tri, I'm keepin on keepin on.

Thank you for your kind comments on my previous post. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

I Just Had To Post This Too!

This is one of the most inspiring videos I've seen in a while and it's not an ad for Nike, Ironman or some company, which makes it even better in my book. Check it out.



For anyone who doesn't already know, I DNF'd my first Ironman race in 2006. Thanks to SpokaneAl and Michelle Sidles for posting it.

TGIFe

I'm not fat enough.

I stared at B for a sec as if he'd called me the F-word then realized he meant he didn't have enough body fat to float.

Poor guy, that was his excuse for not swimming. Two years ago, I was explaining to a friend/co-worker that I'd signed up for Ironman Florida 2006 in order to motivate myself to learn to swim. Seriously, nothing less would have gotten me to do it and had that year not seen some of the roughest water conditions ever at an Ironman race, I might have checked that box and moved on to something else. Instead, one person died and I finished the 2.4 mile swim leg ~6 minutes too late.


You know the IM motto: Anything can happen.

Still, I accomplished 90% of what I set out to do in training and had the most memorable swim of (for) my life. And, I came back with more than a medal. The DNF gave me the desire to be a real triathlete. Up to then, I was content to survive swim segments and ride centuries just so I could run more marathons. Silly, I know!

But what B said got me thinking ... Many of the swimmers I saw at my pool did seem to have a lot of, let's say, built-in buoyancy. They made freestyle look so easy, gliding effortlessly down the lane while I splashed and struggled to go half as fast. How could it be that I could run for hours yet find swimming so difficult? What the heck am I missing? Maybe going on a bon-bon diet would help?

Then last year I began working with Karlyn Pipes-Nielsen. Karlyn was the first elite swimmer I'd ever met. What impressed me immediately, though, was her physique. She could have passed for an elite marathoner. And, she had small feet too, like me.

Hell, if she could float, most definitely, so could I. All body image issues I had went out the door.

Now I could work on the real issue: good technique or rather, lack thereof. No more envying or being intimidated by barrel chests, big butts and size 10+ double E wide feet. No more excuses. Just focus on what it takes to get my body through the water and this year, finally, I became a swimmer.

So now, after 3 years and 10 tris (6 half irons, 2 olys and 2 sprints), I feel poised to become the triathlete I've wanted to be. And to make things even sweeter, a wonderful blogging-for-coaching opportunity has come my way. Next year, I will tackle one of the most challenging iron races in the southeast, The Great Floridian. Then two weeks later, I'll head north to do Beach to Battleship, a cooler and much flatter course, just for grins.


I may not be bright but Thank God I'm Fat enough :-)

Confidence

Okay, ENOUGH. I've been a bit too content doing marathons and half iron tris. I've been avoiding the short/hard/fast stuff.

Why? Because I love going for hours at an easy-to-moderate pace. Going hard-to-puke fast, uh, not so much. I've also wanted to focus on my swimming more and tend to get injured if I push really hard. And my bike crash back in February did not help. Excuses, excuses, excuses ...

But while in Hawaii last month, I had the opportunity to go "fast" without it hurting too much. Actually, it was a total surprise. I ran with a group for the first time in 3 years and we did some speed and hill work for about 30-45 minutes. Then at the end, the coach had us run a one mile time trial down a gentle grade. I was totally shocked to finish first in 6:15.

Yowza!!

Now I'm sure if it had been a flat course I wouldn't have thought it'd be as easy. And probably if we hadn't done the other stuff before, I wouldn't have thought that I had an advantage, being the endurance person I am. But both gave me a huge mental boost and I gave it my all.

Somehow I need to bottle up that confidence and drink some before I stop myself anymore.

As a start, I'm getting back to doing other things that have given me confidence in the past: push-ups, pull-ups and dips. Though never easy for me, these were pretty regular staples when I was training in the martial arts and teaching fitness classes 3-5 years ago and they made me feel like I could do anything. Right now, of course, I can barely lift my arms but I do feel better about myself having resumed doing them. (Thank you Ellie, Kevin and MizFit for motivating me!)

And while I'm at it, I've signed up to run my second-ever 5K on 4th of July. With 3,000 people, it'll be very crowded but, heck, it's not even timed so who cares. I'm just going to put myself out there and see what happens.

My Biggest Fear???

I had a pretty sheltered upbringing. As a young kid, most of my time was spent studying, playing piano, playing with a few girlfriends, doing various art projects, helping around the house or fishing, which my dad enjoyed. I was discouraged from doing much sports or anything that might be considered dangerous or physically uncomfortable, especially since I started wearing glasses in 4th grade. We were constantly battling bugs and germs by washing things, cleaning things, closing things, spraying things and wrapping things. On family vacations or outings, we never drove more than a couple hours, never went on an airplane, never went camping and never saw snow. One time we stayed in some rustic cabins that had no electricity after a certain time at night, my mom couldn't stand it and so we soon went to another place that was more "civilized."

It's no wonder I grew up with a lot of fears. And I know my sister, Jade Lady, has a lot of them too.

On my own in college, however, I lucked out to meet friends and boyfriends who were very different from me. I got to do a lot of things my parents would never have condoned (so I didn't tell them :-): skiing, hiking, camping, backpacking, rock climbing, mountain biking, windsurfing and skydiving. Looking at that list alone, you might have thought I was quite the adventurous type -- HA!

The truth is I didn't want to miss out on activities my friends were doing and would be talking about so I went along to be part of the group. And I was always glad I did, even though I wasn't very good at doing most of that stuff. In the case of boyfriends, well, I also didn't want them to find someone else to go with since I'm the jealous type >:)

Now, so many years later, though, I have very fond memories of all of those adventures. I don't have an inner passion to go off and do those things on my own, but I am willing to do them with others if the opportunity arises. What I do have from those experiences, however, is a drive to not to let my many fears stop me from doing "risky" or uncomfortable things, something that I definitely did not get from my parents.

1. Running outdoors, even though I've been nearly attacked twice and know that a serial rapist who preys on joggers/walkers in my area has never been caught. What worked/works for me: 6 years of martial arts training, always carry pepper spray and a cell phone, wear a rear view mirror on sunglasses (most attacks have been from behind), constant awareness of my surroundings, various running routes and times, running with others.

2. Swimming, despite lots of struggles with form, frequent headaches & nauseousness, boredom swimming laps, no masters group to train with, and a huge fear of gators & sharks in open water. What worked/works for me: Swim lessons from 3 different instructors until I found a stroke that worked for me (took me about 2 years but I now finally like swimming!), silicon swim cap, better fitting and tinted goggles, SwiMP3 player (thanks to SimplyStu!), book of swim workouts, and swimming at least 2-3 times a week. In open water, I close my eyes most of the time except to sight (better I not see any creatures if they happen to be there). If the water is rough, I use ear plugs and take ginger pills and motion sickness medicine (Bonine).

3. Riding a bike on roads, though initially terrified of cars hitting me, getting yelled at by drivers and having had a beer bottle thrown at me once while out riding. What worked/works for me: Wearing a rear view mirror on sunglasses (seeing vehicles coming up from behind and not having to turn my head as much when going across traffic is a big comfort to me!), wearing BRIGHT colored jerseys, riding with a more experienced rider (my husband) and occasionally in a group. As far as rude drivers, I usually don't let them get to me and, in fact, I often smile and wave at them instead to make them think I mistook their nastiness for friendliness.

Because my biggest fear now is missing out on things that might make my life more enjoyable or give me an opportunity to better myself. And more rewarding to me than crossing a finish line, achieving a certain goal race time, getting a medal or a label is just the fact that I'm out there, still. I haven't let myself get in the way of becoming a triathlete.

What are some things you've done to manage or overcome your fears and struggles? What drives you to do things that may be against your better judgment or unnatural for you?

Dare to Dream Big

Did anyone see the latest issue of Parade Magazine in their Sunday paper?

Usually the most useful thing to me in the Sunday paper are the coupons but this week's Parade front page story caught my eye. It was about Carnegie Mellon University professor Randy Pausch's last lecture. He'd been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was told he only had months to live.

Why'd it draw my attention? Because Randy, Dave and I used to all work in the same field of computer graphics and virtual reality research many years ago. I'd read a number of papers he wrote, attended conferences he was at and I think he was one of the referees on a journal paper Dave and I co-authored. I remember him being one of the good guys, brilliant but very approachable. He is also our age (late 40's) and there's nothing like seeing it happen to one of your own to make yourself feel mortal ...

I loved many of Randy's last lecture points because they were nearly the same as those I adopted after my dad died of kidney cancer back in 1992:

Always Have Fun ... Dream Big ... Ask For What You Want ... Dare To Take a Risk ... Look for the Best in Everybody ... Make Time for What Matters ... Let Kids Be Themselves

Before then, I was a stubborn workaholic and a control freak who was destined to be miserable and probably dead from stress by age 40. It took seeing someone like myself (my dad) taken away by cancer for me to realize how short life was and that I needed to make some changes to mine. I used running to deal with my grief and have used endurance sports over and over again to build a new, much healthier and happier me.

And so I hope to pass on torch by creating a new website that will feature everyday athletes and their stories to provide daily inspiration and motivation for others:

The bar's vault is now OPEN and accepting contributions from YOU, the community. To add a link to it in your side bar, just copy and paste the following HTML code:

<a href="http://www.endurancesportsbar.com/" target="_blank">
<img width="180"
src="http://lh6.google.com/prattshirley/R_pSSdnODaI/AAAAAAAAAF8/w8bcqqeV6cQ/s288/esb_logo.jpg">
</a>

Bar operations will begin on Memorial Day, Monday, May 26, 2008. I hope all of you will be a part of it. Mostly, I hope all of you will dream big and not let anything stop you from achieving them.

BTW, Randy is still with us and still fighting for his life. His latest entry in his journal, dated April 2, 2008, said "I hope to be back on the bike in a week or so." Way to go, Randy.

What's Stopping You?

Today I submitted a questionnaire to my local tri club coach that had a couple interesting questions in regards to the goals I wrote down:

1. What do you think is interfering with your goals?
2. What do you think is holding you back?
3. Are you willing to make short-term sacrifices for long-term success?

Really, they could apply to any goals one might have, whether social, financial, family, sports, health, etc.

For me, it's having sufficient motivation to do things. The harder or more fearful the task, the more motivation I need so I tend to take on some pretty tall orders and use the fear of failure (which can sometimes mean fear of serious injury) to drive me. Anything less is too easy for me to back away from. I feel like I'm constantly making short-term sacrifices for long-term successes but like to view them as investments, not sacrifices per se.

Some people are probably just the opposite, preferring to start out small and build confidence, or wait until the "right time" to tackle big goals they have.

What about you? What your answers to the questions above? What do you or have you done in the past to overcome them?

Sometimes I think we are too busy or distracted to do much self-analysis. We're looking for ways to improve ourselves and setting goals without really understanding what drives us or holds us back. Now having written this post and the one below I understand myself a bit better. And in case I need reminding, I can now just read about it :-)

Pulling Out All the Stops

Black belt tests, marathons, Ironman races, my 21 Run Salute campaign, and now this Evotri contest. What do they all have in common?

They've all taken me WAY outside my comfort zone. I mean, WAY out.

And not just for a few short minutes as when skydiving. We're talking hours, days, weeks and sometimes months of pushing myself to do things that are not only uncomfortable but downright painful, mostly mentally. Second guessing myself as to whether I can do it, asking myself why the hell I'm doing it and wondering whether it's worth it. Shoot, why can't I just have a big blister or something instead? That I know how to deal with.

In fact, fundraising and this contest have been the hardest to me. Really. Training and racing I can do without much prodding, in general. But it's completely against my nature to talk to strangers and ask them for money or votes. Actually, it's completely against my nature to do that even to friends. Family, not as hard, but still not easy. Man, I so wish I was an extrovert!

But it's just the way I am. I'd much rather spar against a 200# gorilla or push myself physically until I puke.

Yes. I. Would.

But there's a reason for me having to do it, I think, besides wanting to meet goals I'd set out to achieve and, in this case, to be on the team. It's because I know suck at asking people, even family members, and especially strangers, for help. Therefore, I've knowingly (perhaps subconsciously) put myself in a position that will force me improve myself. Sound familiar?

No? Well, then obviously you haven't studied my first Evotri video in my side bar :-) (There's line in it that goes something like this: If I don't work on my weaknesses, I'll never get better.)

Damn ... I said it on a YouTube video so now I have to do it ...

And I have. While I want to someday live on an island, I don't want to be one.

But what I did in round #1 of the last contest was obviously not enough. No, I read what TriToBeFunny did in contest #1 and realized I need to pull out all the stops and go way beyond. Like at mile 20 of the Olathe Marathon when my whole body was shutting down from severe dehydration and I was on the verge of dropping out every 10 feet. Like during the last hour of my second black belt test when I thought my ribs were cracked and was sure the next good blow to them would send me to the hospital and make me fail my test. Or the second lap of my Ironman swim when the conditions were so rough that my only focus was on making it back to land safely (and NOT via a boat or jet ski), screw the time cut-off.

That's the type of going beyond I'm talking about. That mental fortitude to keep going or do things that you thought you could never do or perhaps never wanted to do. That thing that allows you to overcome yourself and become the person you want to be.

And now on this last day of voting, I want to take a moment to thank everyone who voted for me, passed on the word to others, and give special shout-outs to those who posted links to me on their blogs and organizations I belong to who've helped with my campaign:

50&DC Marathon Group
Akshaye (NEW!)
Bike Friday YAK Group and Hawaii Chapter
Central Florida Tri Club
CewTwo
Ellie
Jade Lady
K&K (a private family blog, but a very big family she has!)
Maddy
Marathon Chris
Petra (NEW!)
Road Warrior
RunningGeezer26.2
SmithPosts (NEW!)
Track Shack

If I've somehow missed you, please let me know.

And just before I was going to hit the publish button for this post, I got a news flash from Team Evotri:

The voting has been extended to next Friday, March 28th, 11:59PM Pacific Time.



It appears their Evote link code was not working for all the contestants and so they're giving us another week.

Hope you all have a nice holiday weekend. If you happen to think of anyone else you can ask to vote for me, please direct them here. Thanks!!!