A Mother Like Sunshine

Young children love companionship and can seldom enjoy themselves alone. They yearn for sympathy and tenderness. That which they enjoy they think will please mother also, and it is natural for them to go to her with their little joys and sorrows. The mother should not wound their sensitive hearts by treating with indifference matters that, though trifling to her, are of great importance to them. Her sympathy and approval are precious. An approving glance, a word of encouragement or commendation, will be like sunshine in their hearts, often making the whole day happy.

Ellen White

Without Ever Ringing a Bell

Most mothers and fathers can provide deeper security, sheerer closeness, sharper instincts, longer continuity, warmer responses, more logical control and more natural examples than the staff of the best care center or kindergarten. Without ever ringing a school bell, monitoring a recess or opening a course-of-study manual or even knowing the inside of a college, their teaching and care in their home are for their children under eight or ten easily superior to the most skilled professors outside it.

Raymond Moore in Home Grown Kids

Homeschool Formula

As a new school year starts for many, it seems timely to review the core "recipe" for homeschooling. I have always appreciated the one by Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore, early advocates of home education. Here's their recipe for home-school teaching:

"The requirements are not complex. Parents need only to be loving, responsive, and reasonably consistent, and salt these qualities with a little imagination, common sense, and willingness to follow a few simple suggestions...And don't worry about the opinions of neighbors who don't know or care about the real needs of children. Just be kind to them. Have your children be helpful in your home and in the neighborhood. Visit the old and infirm and ill. Do favors for others without asking any in return. Soon your 'strange antics' will be forgotten...or admired." 

They remind us that:

• "In one sense you are teaching all your waking moments --- as models to your offspring. Yet while some parents are more diligent than others, none need to formally teach a full school day."

And continue with this:

• "Much more important is your working with your children in physical work, helping them learn practical skills and the nobility of work --- building character qualities of initiative, industry, neatness, order, responsibility, and dependability, which are hard to find in even one of ten children or young adults today."

And there's more!

• "Along with these grosser values you can by precept and example teach manners and graces which today are rare --- kindness, thoughtfulness, tact, forgiveness, generosity, and a just plain kind of for-others love. This is seldom done in schools these days. Teach therm how to walk tall, how to listen closely, how to speak graciously. Paul was not gesturing idly when he wrote Philippians 4:8, 'Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report;...think on these things.'"

Using the Moore Formula of work, study, and service, children have been found to excel academically and socially. For more on this subject, it's recommended that you establish your foundation and philosophy for homeschooling by reading several of the books Raymond and Dorothy Moore have written on homeschooling. 

The quotes above are from the book "Home-Spun Schools" page 12 - 13.

Teachable Parents

"Blessed are those parents who are teachable, for knowledge brings understanding, and understanding brings love."

Old Union Reminder

Furthering Independence

"The fastest road to furthering independence in your children is total attention to the needs of your children in their dependent years."

Herbert Ratner

Encouragement for Homeschool Mothers

Encouragement for homeschool moms comes from many sources.  Knowing of other mother's who cherished this role is encouraging, especially when they are from years past.  Moses had a mother who homeschooled him until he was twelve years old.  What precious years those must have been for her, as she knew that her time with him was short and so all that she taught to him was of great importance. 

The book, Patriarchs and Prophets, shares stories and illustrations of Old Testament individuals and how God touched their lives.  This quote on page 244 shares about Moses and his mother:

"She kept the boy as long as she could, but was obligated to give him up when he was about twelve years old.  From his humble cabin home he was taken to the royal palace, to the daughter of the Pharaoh, and he became her son.  Yet even here he did not lose the impressions received in childhood.  The lessons learned at his mother's side could not be forgotten.  They were a shield from the pride, the infidelity, and the vice that flourished amid the splendor of the court...."

"The whole future life of Moses, the great mission which he fulfilled as the leader of Israel, testifies to the importance of the work of a Christian mother.  There is no other work that can equal this.  Parents should direct the instruction and training of their children while very young, to the end that they may be Christians.  They are placed in our care to be trained, not as heirs to the throne of an earthly empire, but as kings unto God, to reign through unending ages."

A Creation of God

Each child is unique, a special creation of God with talents, abilities, personality, preferences, dislikes, potentials, strengths, weaknesses, and skills that are his or her own. As parents, we must seek to identify these in each of our children and help them become the persons God intended.

~ Dave Veerman ~

A Beautiful Gold Love Cup

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Psalm 23:5

Just as our Heavenly Father fills our cup to overflowing, so should we as parents pour love into our children. Their love cups are fragile and should constantly be replenished.  Sometimes children can be so fussy and naughty. At times like this, instead of speaking out in frustration and punishment, maybe it is time to stop and concentrate on how much attention you have been giving them. I'm not speaking of indulgence, but rather purposeful attentiveness to their needs. It's the need to be hugged or rocked, to be listened to, and the need to fulfill not simply their physical needs but their emotional ones as well. 

Old-fashioned wisdom sometimes says that children should be seen and not heard; that they should be kept in their place. This false wisdom pushes children into the background and expectations are that they have to grow up too soon. In Victorian days children were thought of as miniature adults and were expected to act that way at a young age. Instead, I prefer the theory that you cannot spoil a child with too much love.  Pure love seeks to meet the needs of the child so that their love cup is full. What do children see as love? Essentially, to a child love equals attention. And lots of it! 

Children who do not receive enough attention tend to seek it in ways that are less than attractive to others around them. They may act up, show off, or get in the way. It's all a way to say "I need someone to notice me because right now I am feeling insignificant". If a child cannot get enough attention by being good or doing the right thing, he will automatically swing to the other side of the pendulum and will act out or do naughty things. As far as he is concerned, subconsciously attention is attention. It doesn't matter if is happy attention or negative attention. At least he is receiving it. But, how much more pleasant it is for the family if happy attention is what is sought and received. 

If a child's love cup is filled, a happy child is the result. I remember when our children were toddlers and would start to get fussy. About 99% of the time they needed some type of parental love or affirmation. Instead of scolding them for being fussy, we as parents quickly learned that scooping them up in our arms for some cuddle time or just listening to them as they explained something that was important to them usually took care of the problem. Love cups are made to be filled! If actions indicate that love levels are declining quickly, it is time to refill the cup!

There are three ways to fill a child's love cup. Each is important in helping children establish that they have self-worth (a gift which comes from God and is taught and expressed through the vehicle of parental love and acceptance). They are:

• Accept. We may not always accept a child's behavior, but we must always make it 100% clear that we accept them! Make sure your child knows that he has always been wanted and loved. And affirm that he will continue to be accepted for as long as you live.  Respect your child, affirm him, and let him know by word and action that you accept them just as he is. Naughty or nice, your children are your precious gems. Make them feel like their love cup is made from gold!
• Listen. It's easy to push children aside when it comes to opinions and thoughts.  Because their thoughts are immature, it might be easy to minimize them by hurrying them on and not really listening to what they have say. But their feelings are valid, and their thoughts are who they are. Take time to listen with sensitivity and warmth. It's a wonderful way to fill their love cup to overflowing.
• Time.  Children equate time with value.  The more time you give to them, the more his or her needs will be met.  Quality time is important, but quantity time is important too!  Don't accept that fallacy that short periods of quality time a day are enough.  Be sure you find lots of quality time in great quantity!  Have fun with your children.  Laugh, share, play, and create with them.  Even if you have to sacrifice expensive things, remember that your time is more important than any material thing you can give your child. 

Picture your child as a beautiful gold cup and strive to keep it filled to the brim!  Gems of acceptance, listening, and time adorn the cup. 

Home Instructors

Biblical examples of homeschooling are found not only in the Old Testament, but in the New Testament as well. Just as the child Jesus received his first instruction from his mother, so did another New Testament character, Timothy.  The instruction and guidance of both his mother and grandmother were influential in how he lived his life.  A paragraph from the book, Acts of the Apostles, shares this:


"Timothy's father was a Greek and his mother a Jewess.  From a child he had known the Scriptures.  The piety that he saw in his home life was sound and sensible.  The faith of his mother and his grandmother in the sacred oracles was to him a constant reminder of the blessing in doing God's will.  The word of God was the rule by which these two godly women had guided Timothy.  His home instructors. . .cooperated with God in preparing him to bear burdens."  


This example of home education, by both mother and grandmother, serves to both encourage and inspire those who work to achieve a solid educational foundation for their children.  Little by little, bit by bit, with leaning steps that build upon one another, the best possible education is achieved.  I especially love learning about the homeschool of Timothy because it is a positive example of how family members can work together for the best of their children.


Reference:  Acts of the Apostles page 203, 205.

Harmonious Balance

Research in child development reveals that children receive the best foundation for future development and learning from a secure and responsive home environment in which understanding parents are the teachers. Although early childhood education is pushed and encouraged by many as a necessity for proper child development, many childhood specialists are assenting that most children are better off at home than being sent away to school at a young age. All things must be considered. The whole child is important, as each facet of his or her being works together to create an intelligent, well-rounded individual. It is important to harmoniously balance a child's faculties with his physical and emotional development. The development of the mind is important, but as Dr. Raymond Moore reminds us, "the body is the powerhouse for the young child's brain and central nervous system. A sound body and stable emotions provide a strong foundation for mental and social maturity. Without this soundness and stability, the child will not realize his greatest potential" [Better Late Than Early, page 9].

Gifts for Mothers by Kids!

Holidays are special events and create opportunities for homeschool children to create!  Thoughtfulness is taught by example and practice.  Service to others starts with doing simple things at home.  Ideas do not need to be complicated or difficult.  It is the small things in life that combine and build upon each other to create a multitude of blessings!  


Mother's Day is near.  It might not be possible for every child to take their mother out for a Mother's Day Brunch or to give her breakfast in bed, but there are other things they can do to show their love and appreciation to their mom.


Here are a few quick and easy ideas for making thoughtful gifts for the "mothers" in your child's life.  These are easy enough they can make one for mom, grandma, aunties, and neighbor moms who interface with them.  It's not too late to have them ready by this Sunday's Mother's Day!

This is a "Gift in a Jar" idea called Painted Desert Chili.  All the ingredients are layered into a quart jar, just like sand art.  The layers don't need to be flat, as the desert effect comes from a rippled appearance created by each ingredient as it is layered in.  Be sure to add the seasonings carefully along the edges of the jar so they can be seen.  Then fill the middle of the layer.  This way all the beautiful layers show on the outside of the jar.

Painted Desert Chili

Layer each ingredient in the amount and order given in a quart jar:
 
1/4 cup dried parsley
2 Tablespoons granulated garlic
2 Tablespoons taco seasoning
2 Tablespoons dried onion flakes
2 Tablespoons taco seasoning
2 Tablespoons cumin
2 Tablespoons paprika
2 Tablespoons white cornmeal
2 Tablespoons taco seasoning
2 Tablespoons granulated garlic
2 Tablespoons chili powder
2 Tablespoons dried parsley
1 cup dried pinto beans
1/4 cup small dried white beans
1/4 cup small dried black beans
Approximately 1 cup dried kidney beans

Attach these directions:

Pour contents of jar into 12-quart pot. Add:

1 medium diced onion
4 15-ounce cans diced tomatoes
1 large can of tomato paste
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/2cup brown sugar
49 ounces tomato juice
2 cups textured vegetable protein, re-hydrated

Fill remainder of the pot with water. Bring to boil, simmer for 2 and a half to 3 hours. Add salt to taste.

Add a color circle of fabric to the top of the lidded jar and tie with ribbon or raffia.  

This is a gift bag idea called You are a Blessing to Me Mix.  These little gift bags present a message of hope and gratefulness to the receiver.  Each ingredient represents a blessing.  The child who prepares the mix chooses what blessing to assign to each ingredient.  A blessing "key" is written on a tag to be attached to the gift bag before it is given away.  This recipe makes about 16 blessing mix gift bags containing about one-third cup each.  Use a cellophane goodie bag or zip-lock bags to package the blessing mix.  Then wrap in a circle or square of calico and tie with ribbon or raffia.  Attach tag with words of appreciation and a key to the blessing the child has chosen to apply to the ingredient.


You are a Blessing to Me Mix

2 cups Bugles brand corn snacks
2 cups small pretzels
1 cup candy corn
1 cup dried fruit bits or raisins
1 cup peanuts or sunflower seeds
1 cup M&Ms brand chocolate candy
16 Hershey's brand chocolate kisses

In a large bowl, gently mix all ingredients except Hershey's Kisses. Place 1/3 to 1/2 cup mix in small cellophane treat bags. Add one Hershey's Kiss to each bag. Close bag.

Create a hand-written or typed tag.  Cut out tags and attach one to each bag.


Enjoy!  And be blessed!

The Meekest of the Meek

"When you lead your sons and daughters in the good way, let your words be tender and caressing in terms of discipline that wins the heart's assent."

Elijah Ben Solomon Zalman

Being Happily Child Centered

Without professional training, simply by being herself, a concerned, loving mother usually can do more for her normal child than a teacher can.

Parents should, of course, be willing to learn new ideas.  But a mother need not be a trained teacher, nor does she need to teach in any formal way.

By using the framework of everyday home activities in a practical way, she can help her child learn as much as possible about the things around him.

The parents goal should be to respond to the child's questions in a patient, consistent and constructive way.  Forget about the pressures of achieving.

Cultivate the idea of being happily child centered, for the child is important.  Take advantage of his motivation of the moment.  Be happy that he is curious, and try to go along with his curiosities whenever you can.

Dr. Raymond Moore

Better Late Than Early, page 21

Ten Commandments for Mothers

 

Thou shalt know that God selected these children for you, and you for them, for a special reason.

 

Thou shalt remember how to be a child again--laugh, play, sing, dance, pretend. 

Thou shalt not worry about messy faces and places. 

Thou shalt pray daily for patience, energy and strength. 

Thou shalt affirm thy children's feelings, but be firm with their behavior. 

Thou shalt instill in them respect for you, themselves and others.

Thou shalt give thy children roots -- grounding them in faith and tradition. 

Thou shalt give thy children wings -- teaching them how to fly on their own. 

Thou shalt show and tell them you love them every day. 

Thou shalt entrust them into the Father's hands.

A Gift to Treasure

Happy are the parents whose lives are a true reflection of the divine, so that the promises and commands of God awaken in the child gratitude and reverence; the parents whose tenderness and justice and long-suffering of God; and who, by teaching the child to love and trust and obey them, are teaching him to love and trust and obey his father in heaven.  Parents who impart to a child such a gift have endowed him with a treasure more precious than the wealth of all the ages --- a treasure as enduring as eternity.

Ministry of Healing, page 375

The Soul of a Child

The soul of a child is the loveliest flower 
That grows in the garden of God. 
Its climb is from weakness to knowledge and power, 
To the sky from the clay to the cloud. 
To beauty and sweetness it grows under care, 
Neglected, 'tis ragged and wild. 
'Tis a plant that is tender, but wondrously rare, 
The sweet, wistful soul of a child. 


Be tender, O gardener, and give it its share 
Of moisture, of warmth and of light, 
And let it not lack for the painstaking care 
To protect it from frost and from blight. 
A glad day will come when its bloom shall unfold. 
It will seem that an angel has smiled. 
Reflecting a beauty and sweetness untold 
In the sensitive soul of a child. 


Author Unknown

A Time

Well, they were right. All of those middle-aged ladies who gazed at my newborn babies, smiling knowingly, and saying with one eyebrow gently raised, “Enjoy them, dear. They grow up fast.”

I remember returning a smile, but not a knowing one. Just a friendly “thanks for caring” kind of smile. After all, how could I know what they knew? How could I know that eighteen years truly would fly by like a short weekend? Still, I did sense that they were right, and I dreaded the time when I would be in their place, caressing the silky cheeks of some younger woman’s babies and saying the words that had been spoken to me.

Well, that time has come. Yes, those ladies were absolutely right. And, yes, I am now passing on that strange but true wisdom of time to young mothers. At least, that’s what I hear myself saying.

Still, in the echo of my own voice, I doubt my own words. How can it be true? How can our daughter be getting married in four months when I can still see her seated on our piano bench with her legs swinging freely a foot above the floor? How can she be setting up her own library when I can still see her sprawled across our couch reading the Pickwick Papers? How can our son be leaving for college when I’m sure I just saw him shooting hoops into a homemade indoor rim? How can I be watching him pack his shaving lotion when I can still smell baby lotion on his skin?

King Solomon said, “To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV This season feels a bit like winter right now, but I know that Solomon was right. Change isn’t easy, but I’m holding on to the Master of the seasons who has all of time secure in His hands.

copyright@gwensimmons2010

The Eyes of a Child

“The most successful parents are those who have the skill to get behind the eyes of the child, seeing what he sees, thinking what he thinks, feeling what he feels.”

Dr. Dobson in Dare to Discipline

 

Photo: Kaden, age 3, enjoys time playing with a stuffed bunny

Gentle and Enthusiastic Parenting

 

One of my favorite authors is Anne Ortlund.  In addition to her book, Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman, she has written an excellent book titled Children Are Wet Cement.  In it she outlines gentle guidelines for parenting.   She encourages parents to help children experience life to the fullest, using all their senses to learn as they grow into beautiful adults.
 
“So what do we do to encourage them to grow inwardly, to become resourceful and creative, to think, to meditate, to lay the foundation for growing up well? Don’t push, but affirm them! Give them the sense that all is well, that their rate of progress is acceptable to you, that you like them just the way they are…..Guide them but be delighted in them. Let them know that life is to be reached for and drunk of deeply…..Enthusiastic, that’s how you want them to grow up! The word comes from “en Theo,” or “in God.” Support them with words of faith, hope, and love, and in that framework “in God,” they’ll be ready to tackle everything. Fears and cautions are built in at an early age but so is courage! Tomorrow’s world will be different if your child has been released to experiment, to risk, to lead others, to pursue righteousness, to be an effector for good in society, to go courageously after God.”

Children Are Wet Cement, Anne Ortlund