Fat girl cruising

Hey yall, how’s your week going so far? Its been good so far. Todd is out of town and I’ve been just laying low binge watching Grace andFrankie on Netflix.   Have you guys seen this series? Its so funny! I’m only on season 3 and there are 5 seasons so I’m midway through.  Its about 2 ladies who were married to their husbands for 40 years then turns out the husbands are in love with each other.  Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin really do a great job in their characters. I’m not sure how many seasons will continue but I hope to get caught up by end of week.

This Sunday, I leave to go on my cruise with my family.  I’m so bummed that Todd cant go but I’m also looking forward to spending time with my stepmom Deb. My grandmother ( Dads mom) Mimi bought EVERYONE this cruise. She has always loved going on cruises and she and Deb had not been on a cruise since Daddy passed 3 years ago. Mimi is 91 years old and honestly she’s not in the best health condition. This is a big deal for all of us to be together. A few of my cousins cant make it but most everyone is going including all their kids.   We set sail from Galveston, TX and our ports will be Roatan, Honduras, Playa Costa Maya and Cozumel, Mexico.  We’re going on Royal Caribbean which is fun for me because I’ve only been on Carnival cruises.

Truth is I don’t have much “vacation money” set aside because of my Amsterdam trip. This cruise was sprung on the family in March with the dates set for June . I’m totally Ok with just getting off the boat and hanging out on beach for free. I really just want to sit on the sand and hear the ocean.   I do have to be very brutally honest at the risk of sounding like a spoiled brat.  I’ve never really been very close to this side of the family.  In fact, it wasn’t until my Dad had his double lung transplant 5 years ago, that Mimi started being kind to me.  My family is very judgey and into appearance 100%.  One of my aunts is also in the same mean girls club .  Both are very Unforgiving of me being Plus-sized.  My aunt actual told me one time when I was with my ex boyfriend that the reason why we were having some relationship issues is because “he’s probably disappointed in my weight gain and men don’t like that”.  Mimi told me a few years ago that “she just couldn’t get used to me being so heavy”.   SOOOOO, while I should be over the moon excited to go on a free cruise, my anxiety level has been over the moon stressed.  I’m going to start tonight picking out my outfits to pack and making sure they’re as flattering as possible.  I cant cancel now. I didn’t buy the insurance and its non-refundable. I want to go. I want to create new happy memories with this side of the family. I am happy I was included because they’ve had family cruises in the past that I wasn’t invited to.   Its just , I am the ONLY fat family member on this side.  THE ONLY ONE. Not even a chubby kid is in the family.  I know all of you know someone who when they see you- they will literally look at you from top to bottom taking everything in on what you’re wearing and how it looks on you. Well I have a few of those going on this trip.  I love my grandma and my aunts. I want to show them that i have a loving and forgiving heart. I want to have a friendship with Mimi. 

I PRAY it goes well and that I didn’t waste an entire weeks’ vacation to be criticized. I am going with open mind and open heart. I want to come back suntanned and loving memories to share with yall.  One thing is I do make friends easy so I may just have to go find a fun crowd and hang out with them. Haha!  Its sad that I want to ask yall to send me luck and prayers while im on vacation. 

I wish the Blogger app didn’t sink because I could post while on ship but it went away.  I’ll post when I get back. It’s a 10 day cruise so I return home on the 16^th.

On another subject, one of my favorite bands Blue October is coming to Dallas in October and I bought tickets for that this week! YAY!!!!

Take care and have a great week- I miss yall already!

Mimi and Marie Kondo

Hey everyone, Happy Monday.  How was your weekend?  I started a project for myself recently to go through my closets way before the Marie Kondo craze. After watching her shows though, it definitely inspired me to have my drawers and closets more organized. In fact, a few weeks ago I organized my underwear drawer by adding shoeboxes and actually folding my underwear which I never thought I would catch myself and admit to doing. LOL!!   In my guest bedroom, I have a wall to wall closet and the closet rods were being held by cheap plastic end pieces.  We have had to replace a few of them in last few years and it was time for this closet- the piece was about to pop off any second. Todd is replacing them with metal end caps and screwed into the wall. This meant every single thing had to come off the rod so I put on top of bed (like MK encourages) and a pile on each side of the bed.  It was perfect timing to go through all that I no longer like or no longer fits.  HOLY COW! It took all day yesterday.  I felt so accomplished. I have 2 bags that I gave to coworker today, my niece came over and ended up stuffing a huge industrial garbage bag full for herself, I have one bag for goodwill and a pile of spring clothes that my local consignment shop is accepting.  I had 83 hangers leftover and an empty box that held sweaters.  Yall, I am a shopper and for a long time, clothes shopping was pretty much my hobby for many years.  I have toooo many though and this process opened my eyes drastically. I am on a roll and will continue to discard.  I had also just took 4 bags of clothes and random stuff to Goodwill last week and took 2 huge bags of clothes stuffed for a church friend of mine.  I am embarrassed to say I still have 2 closets in the house of clothes that i'll be going through soon. My mom is coming in April though so I wanted to start on the guest room.

I have been stressed trying to get my house back together after the holidays and I want to make some changes in my living room like new furniture and rugs which cost money but I am working on redoing some things.  I am still not breathing great and I've been super stressed.  Asthma sucks and its wearing me down. I have been stress eating!!

Lastly, we celebrated my grandma's 91st birthday on Saturday. We all got together at this yummy Italian restaurant for her with a cake and gifts of course. I am So incredibly blessed to still have both grandmas and both are 91.  Nanny turned 91 back in July so she will soon be 92 and its so awesome.

So that was my weekend - it was a busy one but a good one.  Oh and Todd bought me some beautiful tulips from local grocery store for Valentines and matching Harley Davidson license plate covers for my truck. Its something I had asked for and I was so happy to get them!! He bought them last week in York at the Harley plant.   

Have a good week!

Flashback to much earlier days

My cousin Kerrie was visiting with my grandma Mimi last week and saw a picture on her nightstand that she had never seen before.  She took a pic with her phone and texted it to me right then.  I literally started crying because I have never seen this picture before and I don't have a single one of the two of us together from when I was a child.  My mom had a small suitcase that held all my special moments and certificates like baptism, first communion, baby pics, etc.  20 years ago, it burned in a fire so I have nothing.
I know I've mentioned numerous times that my parents were teen parents- Dad was 18 and mom was 17 when I was born.  I just love this picture.  Also in the picture is a black and white dog and her name was Twinkie.  My mom said she was the greatest dog and Twinkie actually saved my life.  I had her the Twinkie story many times.  I was a small toddler just learning to walk and it was one of those split seconds that my parents turned their heads and I was walking into the street and Twinkie jumped behind me and grabbed my diaper with her mouth and pulled me backwards and at that time a car was passing the street.  Twinkie was a hero. 
I couldn't be very old in this picture.

We are getting rain here in Dallas and its glorious!!! I love rain and I love that its cooling down the temps .  Now if we can pray for the rain to move west and quench the horrible fires going on .
I am heading to east Texas tomorrow to spend the day with my other grandmother Nanny.  She's been in and out of the hospital and I need to hug her neck.  She is my favorite grandma and she means the world to me.  She just turned 91 last month.  Mimi is 90 .  Lots of longevity in the bloodline.


Have a great weekend!!

Family gals and new places

Last night, we had a girls only family dinner. My aunt Tammy lives out of state in California and Idaho ( yes both). She is in town because we had my great aunts funeral this past Saturday. Aunt Edith was my grandma Mimi's older sister.  I suggested us all getting together one night this week so that we could hang out, have a glass of wine, and have fun outside of a funeral.  Last night was best for everyone so we met in Addison which is suburb of Dallas that was in between where we all live.

We had dinner at a great new place that i had never been to before. It was called Ida Claire's.
 On the website, its introduced as  Ida Claire- South of Ordinary... an intriguing, southern inspired destination for relaxing suppers, slow weekend brunching or a meeting hub for business lunches and happy hour.
Instead of happy hour  they have a Vinyl hour. They select a vinyl record and play it in its entirety from 3 to 6 with drink specials and appetizers only available then.  We had vinyl red  ( only 5$) which was their house blend and it was so good!  We asked our waiter to tell us what the label was called and he said Haze.  I'll be on the lookout for that!
The menu was very unique. Everything on it had its own twist of something different . They're most sold item is their homemade  fried chicken that is battered and fried at time of order. They also have chicken and waffles that came with egg sunny side up. Thats what scared me,  LOL- i hate runny eggs.  I had the shrimp and grits with the piquant sauce on the side and i never added it.  The grits were parmesan grits and they were wonderful!
This is just the Supper plate menu: I recommend you clicking on my link above and checking out their appetizers, drinks, and site items.  So good!
Wood Grilled Chicken
AFRICAN SPICED HALF CHICKEN,
COLLARD GREENS, GOLDEN
RAISINS, DELICATA SQUASH,
MASALA TOMATO SAUCE
• 18 •
Shrimp & Grits
TEXAS GULF PRAWNS,
BACON, PARMESAN GRITS,
SAUCE PIQUANT
• 19 •
Wood Grilled Snapper
CAST IRON SEARED OKRA,
CAMPARI TOMATOES, ALMONDS,
MINT, BASIL CHIMMICHURRI
• 19 •
WILD ISLES
SEA TROUT
MOROCCAN SPICED,
ROASTED BEETS, PICKLED
GRAPES, PRALINE PECANS,
FENNEL, LEMON YOGURT
• 22 •
Nashville Hot Fried
Chicken
SPICY CRISP HALF CHICKEN,
PIMENTO CHEESE TOAST, PICKLED
CUCUMBERS AND ONIONS
COOKED TO ORDER. FRESH TAKES TIME.
• 17 •
Pecan Smoked
Pork Chop
ASIAGO GREEN BEANS, FIGS,
BASIL, TASSO BUTTER
• 19 •
Chicken & Waffles
BACON LACED BELGIAN WAFFLE,
SUNNY SIDE UP EGGS, CRISPY
TENDERS, COFFEE MAPLE SYRUP,
BLACK PEPPER GRAVY
• 15 •
Wood Grilled Redfish
ROASTED CAULIFLOWER,
SPICED HAZELNUTS, GOLDEN
RAISINS, SAFFRON AIOLI
• 26 •
Braised Beef Short
Rib
GRILLED BROCCOLINI,
TOMATOES, OYSTER MUSHROOMS,
CORNBREAD CROUTONS


We ordered a slice of their pie of the day which was coconut creme and a slice of their Vice cake ( chocolate cake with bacon in the ganache icing).  All it was so good!!
The decorations were awesome. Yall know that i collect bird cages right? Well i was in Heaven because in one corner of the restuarant, they had at least a dozen of cool vintage birdcages hanging from the ceiling with lights in the them.  I'm already thinking of doing that at my house somewhere!
On the back patio is an airstream decorated so cool. You can actually dine in the car and of course it was always reserved. They had old vintage metal patio chairs outside.  On one of the walls inside they had old plates like hundreds of them hung.  I didnt get pics of everything.

Its always fun to try new places and especially when its good and yummy! I'll definitely be back.

It was nice to visit with my cousins that i really dont get to see very often unless its a funeral or family event.  We all said we would try to do better and get together more often. I hope so!! 

Celebration of Life for Dad and a Regift

Good morning yall!  Last week was a tough week. I cried everyday and my eyes stayed swollen until this past Monday.  Last Thursday was the day my dad passed away a year ago.  I worked from home so that i didnt have to put on makeup and see anyone.  I cried pretty hard at moments.  I have to share something special with you though.
I sometimes hide precious things that mean a lot to me. My fear is if my house is ever robbed, i dont want them to find everything in my main jewelry box. Does anyone else have irrational thoughts and behaviors like that? ( I was robbed back in high school so there's a story behind my thoughts. I'll save that for another post).  I thought I had lost an amethyst pendant along with my senior class ring from high school. Its been at least 2 years since i had thought i lost them.   While working in my home office ( it's messy) on Thursday , I came across an old wooden jewelry box and of all things to found was that pendant ( along with class ring) Daddy had bought that necklace and matching earrings for me when I was in high school or early college. It was my very first set of "real grown up stones". It was funny because he got my birthstone mixed up with my grandmas. Mimi's birthday is February 17 and mine is May 17.  I can still remember the look on his face as i was opening my gift. He had his big goofy smile and his eyes were twinkling. He was as excited to give me the gift as i was receiving it. Daddy said to me " its your birthstone right? and i replied No Daddy, its even better, its Purple"!  My birthstone is emerald but i think all girls love pink and purple when they're young.   I still have the earrings and i had lost the pendant a few years ago or so i thought.  I can't help but think that was a sign from Daddy for me to find something so special that came from him on the very day i was grieving for him on his death anniversary.   I had shared this story on Facebook that day and one of my friends mentioned that he Regifted it to me. It made me smile and i needed that!  Oh and  I'm wearing my necklace right now with the pendant.

Saturday was the day of dad's party that i was not looking forward to. Quite honestly, i just wanted to put it behind me.  Funny thing is that so many of my family members and friends felt the same way. I ended up having a really nice day. It was emotional yes but it was shared with loved ones. We released 66 balloons ( Mimi had a special larger white one) and we  all read a prayer that Deb had printed out on little cards.  Then we just relaxed and shared stories about Daddy.  There are soooo many stories! Dad was one of a kind and so funny.  My stepbrother got a huge fire going outside in the fire pit and had tons of food and drink. Some of my closest friends came which meant so much to me.  My grandma Mimi was very emotional when she first arrived. She couldnt stop crying and even said she shouldnt have come.  I hugged her and told her that its good to cry on each other's shoulders. She also had a good time and was glad she came after all.   Mimi lost her only sister (aunt Edith) last month a few days after Christmas. In fact her funeral is this weekend.  I was not very close to my great aunt but i'm going for support to Mimi.

I think i've mentioned before how much i hate January right!!

Reasons to celebrate!

Hey everyone, how's everyone doing?  I am doing OK.  I can go 2 days in a row now without crying but I still cry on the other days.  I'm super busy at work and that has helped a lot! I like staying busy and occupying my time with distractions.
Last week, we celebrated my grandmother Mimi's 88th birthday. We had a nice little party at a restaurant that was centrally located between all of us.  We had a big long table in the back room and really had a nice evening.  Everyone was there and my stepmom Deb came too. I was so glad she came.  She also surprised along with Mimi,  my 2 aunts Brenda and Tammy and myself with a wonderful gift for us.  She had got a thumb print taken from  Dad before they took him away for cremation. There is a place that makes jewelry with the thumb print and on the other side a picture . I love it so much .  We all cried of course when we opened it.  I've worn it every day. 

I forgot if I mentioned to you also the place we were told about that makes jewelry from flowers? At Daddy's memorial, a cousin told us of this place that you send them a box of flowers used from the funeral, memorial, birthday's , etc.  They can make rosaries, earrings, belt buckles, a list of stuff.  I sent them a box a few weeks ago and it takes about 6 weeks for everything to be ready. My aunt, Mimi and Deb all wanted a rosary. I am getting a necklace and bracelet. I cant wait to show yall when I receive them.  If anyone is interested, leave me a comment and I can tell you the website.  Its a gal that does it out of Illinois.

Did I tell you that I bought a ticket for my mom to come visit from Montana last month? Well that time finally arrived and she got here this past Saturday.  Its sooo good to have her here.  Sometimes you just need your Mom and I don't want to even think about her leaving soon. I did book her ticket though to stay a month. Its been since my wedding that she's been here in Texas so she has family to visit.  The week after next I will have both my grandma Nanny and Mom here and that will be awesome too! My friend Kimi came by on Sunday to visit Mom and tonight my cousin Jadona and friend Di are coming over to visit. Mom makes an amazing spaghetti so dinner tonight is going to be yummy! Lots of visitors here and there but also she's had time for lots of rest.  Remember she has chronic Lupus and not in best health either. 

I am working from home this week so I can be with Mom and I am so very grateful to be able to do that. Its been raining and storming the last few days so good lazy days around the house.
I ran out of the sessions that was given to me from EAP for my counseling.  I then called our insurance through Todd's job and I got 3 more free sessions.  I need to book those soon.  I really do enjoy the counseling and not ready to be done just yet. I will admit that they haven't called me ( the counseling office) and were supposed to check through my insurance and call me back and never did.  I think I fell through the cracks but I wont blow them off just yet.

So that's it for now. I know my blogging has been sporadic. I want to get back in the groove. I will.  Don't give up on me.