Slowly Phasing Out While Continue Bottoming

As a Fleetwood Mac's song goes: Players only love you when they are playing.

E has not responded my text from yesterday. I wonder if I would ever hear from him again. E has the beard and hairy body that I find extremely sexy. My cock gets hard just by touching his hairy chest. In the multiple times we slept together, he always sucked my cock to edge me to the limit before he jerked me off.

"I want to..." That's what he said to me when I asked him why he wants to suck me.

I  find that strange because he does not let me suck him. He said it's messy and yucky.  "Yucky?" I wondered in my mind but didn't think further. I did consider the possibility that he might be carry diseases or even HIV+. But since all we did was kissing, dry fucking and jerking each other off, I didn't think anything bad could happen.  I do (did?) enjoy kissing him. He even said that he had never kissed anybody like we did.  I found that hard to believe and yet I was foolish enough to take his word.

From the very beginning I've always had this feeling that he's a player. He never fucked me. Although one time when he tried to finger me and realized that I was really tight, he said, "I'm gonna hurt you.." hinting that his cock is quite big. Well, he never got to fuck me and I somehow knew that was never gonna happen anyway.

He texted me sexy, luring messages alone with shirtless selfie and pics of himself in underpants. For a while he even seemed smitten with me. And all of a sudden he vanished and appeared to loose interest totally.

I'm certainly not going to "beg" him to answer me. I think I'd just let it go. If one day he resurfaced, I'd take a deep breath and decide what I should do. He might still be able to charm me back to his hairy arms, I would know better that he is just a player.

Besides, I still have my fuck buddy M, who to my surprise sent me a picture of his impressive manhood last week. Unfortunately I was on my way to the city and couldn't meet him on his day off. It's been more than a month since I last saw him. I need his hard stiff cock deep inside me. I want to kiss him, taste him, ride him like there's no tomorrow.  M knows his tool and knows how to use it well. He kisses me, teases me, rims me and is patient to open up my tight hole with his wet hungry tongue. He knows it when I'm ready. He will then force his big cock, knowing that I'd enjoy the pain, slowly down my hole. He will change positions, penetrate me deeper and deeper, with gentle touches caressing my sweaty body. He will increase his speed, his stiff cock thrusts in and out of me, and collapses on top of me when he dump his hot juice inside me. Sometimes after he recovers a bit, he'd tell me to jerk myself off on top of his with his cock still rock hard in my ass. "Good boy, JJ. Good boy.." he'd say.

I know that one day M will also be unavailable. He might be involved in a steady relationship. He might move away or I might move away, etc. All good things come to and an. But meanwhile, I'll let him fuck me. I want him to fuck me. I want as many hot loads of his as I can get. Did I ever mention that he is a hairy Italian? Come to think of it, why would I need E if I still have M? For varieties I suppose..

Oh, and there's a hairy daddy who wants to give me a massage this coming Friday. Let's see how that goes..

But seriously, I'm at the point that I believe it's time to slow down and stop it all one day. I have a partner who loves me, who adores me and never intentionally hurts me. I should be grateful to have him in my life and be loyal to him. There's just too many players out there who will only think of you when they want to play. I've always tried to maintain certain regular, decent, friendship-like relationships with the men I meet. Somehow it's usually not what they are looking for. Over the years my skin has thicken. But finding out that these men basically don't want to have anything to do with me other than having sex still makes me feeling hurt.  And yet I keep giving myself these self inflicted wounds.

I know that day will come eventually. Hopefully before my double life got exposed. Hopefully before my partner found out that I've been cheating on him for so long. Hopefully before I contracted any disease. Hopefully before it's all too late and there's no return.

Keep getting fucked or not?

Your opinion appreciated:

I’ve been seeing this hairy fuck buddy for 5, 6 times in the past three months. At first he would contact me on his own. But recently it’s always I that had to get in touch first and we would fuck at his place. We always had a great time. He loves fucking me and he breeds me every time. He is always very passionate, very oral, very dominant in bed.

Here is something that bothers me: when I email him or text him for reasons other than hooking up, he usually doesn’t respond. (I know he has a boyfriend.) I feel I’m always the one asking to meet..

Should I keep contacting him when I need to get bred or should I start looking for somebody else?

First dream in 2014

Woke up in the bedroom on the first day of 2014 with a hard on.

I was dreaming and still remember vividly. Couldn't really tell who this man was. All I know could see was his scruffy face. We meet coincidently at a place that appeared to be like CVS or Duane Reade. The moment we looked straight into each others' eyes, we kissed as if we haven't seen each other for years.  Didn't care the look and stare from surrounding people, we kissed, sucked on each other's lips and tongue, my hands held, touched, explored his upper body.

Suddenly he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down to the floor. I wasn't wearing underpants and my cock was already pointing and dripping pre-cum. He went down on me and I simply moaned. People were now gathering and watching us. But we didn't seem to pay any attention. He sucked and licked my cock and balls and it edged me to exploding point. I didn't want to cum so fast, so I pulled him up and kissed him some more before I took off this t-shirt.

Next thing I know we were totally naked, lying on the floor on the aisle with our bodies wrapped around each others.  I had this craving for the taste of his mushroom-headed cock. I moved slowly down, kissed and licked this face, his neck, his hairy chest, bite a little on his left nipple, down the happy trail and finally had his cock in my mouth. He seemed to understand what I wanted and got up to sit on my chest before he put this cock back in my mouth. I looked into his eyes most of the time while I was sucking and tasting his manhood. I cupped his firm ass with my hands, pushing his stiff cock further, deeper into my throat..

I kept staring into his eyes and watching him enjoying the moment. Finally he saw the twinkle in my eyes and realized my desire. He smiled, trap my hair telling me to continue. Not too long after, he let out a breath, his body harden a little, and I felt his hot load landed at the back of my tongue. I kept swallowing, sucking all that I could get from his fat, tasty cock..

I woke up with that image in my head, my cock was so hard that it was almost hurting..

So what does it all mean that I had such a dream on the very first day of 2014?

Raped (Be Careful What You Wish For)

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A Quick Load At The Stop &Shop

Guess who I bumped into yesterday? That's right, my hairy daddy neighbor. 

I was just going into the supermarket and he was leaving.  And he, was with his wife. Funny thing was that it was his wife said hi to me first with a big smile.  "Hey.. Have a good day!" I said and quickly went pass them. When I glanced at him, he had sort of an embarrassed smile on his face.

While I was walking through each aisles, I replayed all the things hairy daddy and I did in my head. Out of nowhere, this hairy daddy was standing right behind me.

"What are you doing here? Where is she?"

"She is in the car waiting for me.. Come to the men's room.." he said, looking nervous.

"What?"

Without answering me, he started walking towards to the men's room.  I stood there for a few seconds, considering and wondering, then I went to the men's room and spotted the stall he was in.

He opened the door and gestured me to go in.

"We don't have much time. I want your cum. Now." he said and pulled my pants down.

"But.."

"I want to taste your cum. I didn't get it last time. Remember?"

All I could think was this cannot be happening.  I've always thought that this could only happen in porn movie.  Hairy daddy wasted no time and put my cock in his mouth.  His warm mouth and unshaven face excited me.  My cock grew harder with each move he made.  He grabbed my cock and balls real hard as if wanting to squeeze my cum out. I could feel that I was sending precum into his warm, wet mouth.

"Give it to me, boy. I want it."

Wishing I could enjoy this much longer, I was also aware of that his wife was waiting.  He held my ass, pulled my cock in and out of his mouth fast.  We both tried very hard not to make much sound..

"I'm close..."

He looked at me and took my cock in as deep as he could, which made my cock stiff and throbbing.  I held his head with both of my hands and he knew I was almost there..

"Arrr..." I pressed his head tight to my crotch, gagging him with my stiff cock and the hot load shot right into his throat. He had to fight not to cough and still eagerly swallowing..

Looking dazed and not yet caught his breath, he suddenly stood up, gave me a kiss on my mouth and said, "I'll see you around.."

Then he was gone. Left me alone pants down in the men's room stall.

Then I realized I tasted my own cum in my mouth.  His clean face was the prove that he swallowed each drop of my cum.

Hairy Daddy Neighbor Paid Me a Visit

A few days later after I gave my hairy daddy neighbor the blowjob, he showed up at my front door. Surprised to see him, I nervously looked around to see if anybody was looking.

"Can I come in?" he said.

"Oh, I'm sorry..  Sure.." I stepped back, welcomed him in and I showed him the living room.

We sat on the couch with him on the far right and I on the far left. The tension was exciting and at the same time I was worried what's happening.

"I saw your partner just went out." he said.

"Yes, he has a meeting in the city..  So, what's up?"

Hairy daddy looked at me for a while, wanted to say something but didn't. Then he leaned towards me, both of his hands went under my tank top, touching my abs and chest. I put my hands on his hairy arms but didn't push him away.

"I'm here to take care of you.." then he pulled down my pants.

"But I haven't sho.... " Before I could even finish my sentence, he already put my cock in his mouth.  It felt so good, I held on to the couch. His unshaved face rubbed my balls and thighs while he continued sucking me, the sensation was incredible. Hairy daddy could see that I was enjoying it, he smiled at me and put his fingers into my mouth. I held his hand and sucked on his fingers lustfully.

After a while, hairy daddy kept my cock in his mouth, pulled away his wet fingers and forced one into my ass. I moaned and opened my eyes wide, wondered what he had in mind. He was still dressed. I used my foot touching his crotch and, no surprise, he was rock hard.

"Take off your clothes.." I whispered.

Hairy daddy looked up at me, seemed not sure if he should.

"Let me just take care of you today.." he said.

"I want to see your hairy body.." I started to undress him.  He was reluctant to remove his clothes, but lust still won after all.

He stood naked in front of me, stroking his stiff cock slowly while his eyes looked directly into mine.

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

I didn't answer.

"Do you have condom? lube?"

I shaked my head, still looking at him. He probably could see in my eyes that I wanted him real bad.

"Guess we'll have to do it the old fashion way..." He then went down on me again, lifted my both legs and inserted his tongue into my asshole. He rimmed me for a while.  He wetted his finger with his own pre-cum and put it into my hole, as if to test if I was ready for the real thing.

After he rimmed me some more, he held his hard cock in his hand in front of my hole. "You're gonna feel it.." he said. Then he forced his cock head into my ass.

"Aww...." I couldn't help but it really hurt. I held on to his hips, asking him to pause.

"Shh... Just let it stay in there for a while.." hairy daddy said to me. His hands moved to my chest and played with my nipples.  I could feel his cock growing harder as it stretched my hole open. His cock was even bigger than I remembered.

Slowly he started to pinch my nipples. The pain excited me and my cock was leaking precum.  While I was feeling the pain on my nipples, hairy daddy, at the same time, little by little, pushed his cock inside of me. I had tears in my eyes when his cock finally went all the way in.

"That's it.. You did it, boy.." Then he started pounding me. First gently, then he went faster and more forceful. I wasn't sure if what I felt was pain or excitment, but I didn't want him to stop. The more I moaned, the faster he pounded my ass. The couch got pushed back a few inches from his actions.

"Can I come inside you, boy?" hairy daddy asked. His sweat dripping on my body.

"I want you to come inside me!" I begged.

Hairy daddy gave me a bright smile and pounded me even harder. A few minutes later, he closed his eyes, groaned through this teeth, his lips were shivering..  "ahh... yeah... " he yelled out and shot his hot cum in me.

With his cock still inside me, he collapsed on top of me.  His sweaty body covered mine, his armed wrapped around my head. I inhaled his manly body odor.  And I could feel that his cock was still throbbing in me.

When he caught his breath and got up from me, we felt something sticky on my abs. We realized that I was so excited that I had cum right before he lied top of me after he shot his load.  I didn't even need to stroke my cock or touch it..  I was that high!

"That's quite a load there.." Hairy daddy said to me with a smirk. He proceeded to lick and ate my cum off my abs.  Then, for the first time, he kissed me, with his mouth full of my own cum.

"Can we do this again?" Hairy daddy said to me after he put on his clothes and was ready to head to the door.

"You know where I live." I gave him a light kiss on his mouth.

Master Danny (Part II)

Master Danny ordered me to keep the butt plug in my mouth. I didn't dare to refuse. He tried to force the butt plug deeper inside my mouth with his left hand, and stroked my cock with his right hand. My cock was so hard and so hot in his firm grip.

He put the butt plug aside. He lifted my legs over my head and tied the ankle cuffs somewhere over my head. I thought he was going to put a dildo in my ass or even fuck me, but he rimmed me instead. I felt so high and moaned in lust. After my hole was wet enough, he grabbed the butt plug and forced it right back in my hole in one go. He pulled out and forced it back in several times and I couldn't tell anymore if I was in pain or in ecstasy. I wanted him to stop and at the other hand I didn't.

Finally he stopped and left the butt plug in place. He came to my side and licked my face, my mouth and my ears. He released my ankle cuffs but left my hands tied behind me. I heard him searching for something in the bag. When he came close to me again, I realized that he was putting on a condom on my cock.

"What does he have in mind?" I asked in my mind.

I could sense that he was now standing over my body. After a few strokes on my cock, I felt my cock was entering something, but it's not his mouth. I'm fucking my master! I was always a bottom and had never fucked anybody. This was my first time and I was fucking without a choice. But the sensation was so great I was truly enjoying it. Master Danny was pretty tight too and I felt that I wanted to cum.  But he tied my cock so tight that I couldn't seem to cum. Master Danny rode me quite violently and seemed to enjoy the ride from his breathing and moaning. Finally I couldn't help but shot my cum into the condom while my cock is still deep in my master.

"I think I came.." I couldn't really know for sure since he tied my cock so tight.

He slowed down and got off me. He took off the condom on me and said, "you certainly did, and quite a load!"

"Open your mouth." he told me. I obeyed and waited for whatever my master planned to give me.

I was told to suck on the condom filled with my own cum. I could smell the musky odor of my master's hole and I knew that he wanted me to taste the inside of his hole..

After I sucked the condom clean, he drained my own cum into my mouth. Then he kissed me passionately for a long time, ate my cum from my mouth..

So now he finally took off my blindfold. The lights in the room was dimmed but my eyes still needed some time to adjust. My cock was still hard as rock from the tight ropes around my cock and balls even though I just came. I looked at the ceiling, digesting the experience so far. He looked at me with his face right above mine.

"You doing okay?" he said without much of expression.

"I think so." I replied.

"Good boy."
"Get up and follow me to the bathroom." he told me.

I got off the bed and started walking towards to the bathroom.

"On your knees, boy!" he corrected me.

A little shocked, I went down on my knees and followed him to the bathroom. In there, he told me to stick my tongue out and he placed his semi-hard cock in my mouth.

I started to suck on his cock but he stopped me right away.

"Just let it stay there..." he said. "Look at me. Have you ever tasted piss?"

I shaked my head slowly.

"Well, you can have your first piss in your life today."

While I was still considering if I wanted to do it and I didn't give any indication of refusing, Master Danny took it as an agreement.  He started to release his piss and filled my mouth pretty fast.

"Swallow it, boy." he said with his left hand holding my head.

I forced myself and swallowed the piss which was already in my mouth. He kept peeing and I kept drinking..

When he finished peeing, he told me to suck on his cock. His cock grew hard again in a short time. With the butt plug still in my ass, I felt I was being fucked on both end at the same time.

He pushed me away, walked into the room and told me to lie on the bed again.

When he twisted the butt plug in my ass, my cock reacted and became real hard again. Yet it was quite painful and I shouted out, "No, sir..."

"There's no discussion here!"

I knew I could stop all that by saying the safe word. But for some reasons I didn't.

He pulled out the butt plug, massaged my sore hole a little with some lub. Then I saw him walked to his collections of tools and came back with a dildo attached to a controller. He lubbed the dildo before forcing it's way into my sore hole. I let out a moan as my hole took in the whole dildo. He pressed a button on the controller and the dildo started vibrating inside me. I was so high again my pre-cum started to flow out of the head of my cock. He stopped the vibrates and started again when I calmed down. He did that several times and each time I moaned louder.. Then 10, 15 seconds gone by with nothing happened, I was wondering if it was it and then I felt that the dildo was growing bigger inside my ass and it stretched my hole even wider. I wanted to tell him to stop but before I could say a word, he inserted his four fingers into my mouth. I couldn't do anything but tried to accept this painful joy..

He switched it to vibrates again and his right hand started to stroke my cock. Soon after that, I couldn't resist any longer, yelled out loud and shot my cum on my stomach before I could even say anything.

With the dildo deflating slowly in my ass, Master Danny sucked on my cock for a while. He licked and collected my cum from my stomach with his mouth. He then held my face with both hands and dumped the cum in my mouth. I knew he wanted me to eat my own cum, and so I did.

Feeling exhausted, Master Danny untied my hands after all. When I just wanted to rest and recover, Master Danny sat on a chair and called me over.

"Do you want my cum, boy? Do you want to taste your master's cum?" he asked, with a hint that it was actually an order, not a question.

"Yes, sir." I answered.

"Well, then come over here and suck my cock" he commanded with his legs wide open, his cock pointing straight at my face.

I sucked on my master's cock, licked his balls and the area between this balls and asshole. He moaned a little and I knew he liked that. After a while, he held my head with both of his hands and I knew he was close. He took a deep breath, let out a loud sound and shot his hot sticky load in my mouth. He held my head close to his crotch so I didn't have a chance to miss a drop of his sweet cum. I almost choked but swallowed his huge load in one go. With the taste of his own cum in my mouth, Master Danny kissed me for a long time. We held on to each other's sweaty body and exchanged saliva until we both needed to take a deep breath.

"There's no turning back now. You know that." Master Danny said to me with a smile on his face for the first time.

I nodded and I knew my life had changed permanently in some ways.