As a Fleetwood Mac's song goes: Players only love you when they are playing.
E has not responded my text from yesterday. I wonder if I would ever hear from him again. E has the beard and hairy body that I find extremely sexy. My cock gets hard just by touching his hairy chest. In the multiple times we slept together, he always sucked my cock to edge me to the limit before he jerked me off.
"I want to..." That's what he said to me when I asked him why he wants to suck me.
I find that strange because he does not let me suck him. He said it's messy and yucky. "Yucky?" I wondered in my mind but didn't think further. I did consider the possibility that he might be carry diseases or even HIV+. But since all we did was kissing, dry fucking and jerking each other off, I didn't think anything bad could happen. I do (did?) enjoy kissing him. He even said that he had never kissed anybody like we did. I found that hard to believe and yet I was foolish enough to take his word.
From the very beginning I've always had this feeling that he's a player. He never fucked me. Although one time when he tried to finger me and realized that I was really tight, he said, "I'm gonna hurt you.." hinting that his cock is quite big. Well, he never got to fuck me and I somehow knew that was never gonna happen anyway.
He texted me sexy, luring messages alone with shirtless selfie and pics of himself in underpants. For a while he even seemed smitten with me. And all of a sudden he vanished and appeared to loose interest totally.
I'm certainly not going to "beg" him to answer me. I think I'd just let it go. If one day he resurfaced, I'd take a deep breath and decide what I should do. He might still be able to charm me back to his hairy arms, I would know better that he is just a player.
Besides, I still have my fuck buddy M, who to my surprise sent me a picture of his impressive manhood last week. Unfortunately I was on my way to the city and couldn't meet him on his day off. It's been more than a month since I last saw him. I need his hard stiff cock deep inside me. I want to kiss him, taste him, ride him like there's no tomorrow. M knows his tool and knows how to use it well. He kisses me, teases me, rims me and is patient to open up my tight hole with his wet hungry tongue. He knows it when I'm ready. He will then force his big cock, knowing that I'd enjoy the pain, slowly down my hole. He will change positions, penetrate me deeper and deeper, with gentle touches caressing my sweaty body. He will increase his speed, his stiff cock thrusts in and out of me, and collapses on top of me when he dump his hot juice inside me. Sometimes after he recovers a bit, he'd tell me to jerk myself off on top of his with his cock still rock hard in my ass. "Good boy, JJ. Good boy.." he'd say.
I know that one day M will also be unavailable. He might be involved in a steady relationship. He might move away or I might move away, etc. All good things come to and an. But meanwhile, I'll let him fuck me. I want him to fuck me. I want as many hot loads of his as I can get. Did I ever mention that he is a hairy Italian? Come to think of it, why would I need E if I still have M? For varieties I suppose..
Oh, and there's a hairy daddy who wants to give me a massage this coming Friday. Let's see how that goes..
But seriously, I'm at the point that I believe it's time to slow down and stop it all one day. I have a partner who loves me, who adores me and never intentionally hurts me. I should be grateful to have him in my life and be loyal to him. There's just too many players out there who will only think of you when they want to play. I've always tried to maintain certain regular, decent, friendship-like relationships with the men I meet. Somehow it's usually not what they are looking for. Over the years my skin has thicken. But finding out that these men basically don't want to have anything to do with me other than having sex still makes me feeling hurt. And yet I keep giving myself these self inflicted wounds.
I know that day will come eventually. Hopefully before my double life got exposed. Hopefully before my partner found out that I've been cheating on him for so long. Hopefully before I contracted any disease. Hopefully before it's all too late and there's no return.
E has not responded my text from yesterday. I wonder if I would ever hear from him again. E has the beard and hairy body that I find extremely sexy. My cock gets hard just by touching his hairy chest. In the multiple times we slept together, he always sucked my cock to edge me to the limit before he jerked me off.
"I want to..." That's what he said to me when I asked him why he wants to suck me.
I find that strange because he does not let me suck him. He said it's messy and yucky. "Yucky?" I wondered in my mind but didn't think further. I did consider the possibility that he might be carry diseases or even HIV+. But since all we did was kissing, dry fucking and jerking each other off, I didn't think anything bad could happen. I do (did?) enjoy kissing him. He even said that he had never kissed anybody like we did. I found that hard to believe and yet I was foolish enough to take his word.
From the very beginning I've always had this feeling that he's a player. He never fucked me. Although one time when he tried to finger me and realized that I was really tight, he said, "I'm gonna hurt you.." hinting that his cock is quite big. Well, he never got to fuck me and I somehow knew that was never gonna happen anyway.
He texted me sexy, luring messages alone with shirtless selfie and pics of himself in underpants. For a while he even seemed smitten with me. And all of a sudden he vanished and appeared to loose interest totally.
I'm certainly not going to "beg" him to answer me. I think I'd just let it go. If one day he resurfaced, I'd take a deep breath and decide what I should do. He might still be able to charm me back to his hairy arms, I would know better that he is just a player.
Besides, I still have my fuck buddy M, who to my surprise sent me a picture of his impressive manhood last week. Unfortunately I was on my way to the city and couldn't meet him on his day off. It's been more than a month since I last saw him. I need his hard stiff cock deep inside me. I want to kiss him, taste him, ride him like there's no tomorrow. M knows his tool and knows how to use it well. He kisses me, teases me, rims me and is patient to open up my tight hole with his wet hungry tongue. He knows it when I'm ready. He will then force his big cock, knowing that I'd enjoy the pain, slowly down my hole. He will change positions, penetrate me deeper and deeper, with gentle touches caressing my sweaty body. He will increase his speed, his stiff cock thrusts in and out of me, and collapses on top of me when he dump his hot juice inside me. Sometimes after he recovers a bit, he'd tell me to jerk myself off on top of his with his cock still rock hard in my ass. "Good boy, JJ. Good boy.." he'd say.
I know that one day M will also be unavailable. He might be involved in a steady relationship. He might move away or I might move away, etc. All good things come to and an. But meanwhile, I'll let him fuck me. I want him to fuck me. I want as many hot loads of his as I can get. Did I ever mention that he is a hairy Italian? Come to think of it, why would I need E if I still have M? For varieties I suppose..
Oh, and there's a hairy daddy who wants to give me a massage this coming Friday. Let's see how that goes..
But seriously, I'm at the point that I believe it's time to slow down and stop it all one day. I have a partner who loves me, who adores me and never intentionally hurts me. I should be grateful to have him in my life and be loyal to him. There's just too many players out there who will only think of you when they want to play. I've always tried to maintain certain regular, decent, friendship-like relationships with the men I meet. Somehow it's usually not what they are looking for. Over the years my skin has thicken. But finding out that these men basically don't want to have anything to do with me other than having sex still makes me feeling hurt. And yet I keep giving myself these self inflicted wounds.
I know that day will come eventually. Hopefully before my double life got exposed. Hopefully before my partner found out that I've been cheating on him for so long. Hopefully before I contracted any disease. Hopefully before it's all too late and there's no return.
