Why can't I stop thinking about V? Haven't I convinced myself that it was only lust? The kisses we shared keep being replayed in my mind..
What exactly am I looking for? I'm in a long term relationship with a man I deeply love. V has his wife and kids. Neither one of us will ever give up what we have, so what am I hoping for? An affair in the darkness?
I kept V's only picture that he ever emailed me, the one that he sent me when he replied my craigslist ad. I looked at it once again just before I started this entry. How I am missing him and wishing that I will see him again soon. I don't want to give him pressure. On the other hand, I can't meet with him because my partner is home almost everyday now. So, once again, what am I doing?? This is clearly not going to be easy even if we just want to fool around once in a while.
Does V think of me? Does he think of me often? I have no way to find out. Even though he has said so in an email..
He said it will require effort, like anything in life worth something. I realize that. And I am willing to wait for him.
