Hella Stella

Hello puppies!

First off, in local blog news, I find this exchange highly entertaining. Mayfair Theatre vs. Preacher. Check it out.

I had a very full weekend... Stomach full, activity full, you name it.

- I had breakfast with some fun people and got served by the same bitchy waitress I always end up with there. She's so bitchy! It boggles my mind. Why does she serve when she hates talking to people? And bringing their food? And getting their bills? WHY?

- We showed the apartment at the new house to some prospective tenants (we don't know if they're taking it yet). We found out that we actually know someone who grew up in our house. Ottawa is so small. The house still looks awesome. I want to live there RIGHT NOW.

- My BH and I went up to Chelsea for a kick-ass dinner with friends. Morty humped their dog in the face about thirty separate times. In front of the children. Morty is such a dirt bag.

- I went to an art show and hung out with my neighbours. I drooled over some of Mae's art, which I found by surprise when I was wandering around the venue. She's good, y'all. Really good.

- My BH and I spent some quality time together, and sorry to cheese out on you, but I think I fell even more in love with him. Did you know we started dating ten years ago this June? Truth.

- I spent time with my folks and my Bubbi. We ate some excellent food. I drank something sparkly.

- I decided to stop putting it off and started planning a shoulder tattoo.

- It was High School Boyfriend's birthday, so a bunch of old friends got together for a beer. I gave HSB a card that made me laugh so hard, tears were streaming down my cheeks. I think maybe he didn't like it as much as I did. I know because he did his lifty eyebrow thing. Oh well. At least there was beer.

- We found out that our good friends are having a baby! A BABY! This is the first baby announcement within our close circle of buddies. I'm so excited for them.

- Our bad neighbours with the bad dogs got worse. They are still off leash. One of the dogs got too close to a little baby, and barked angrily. It also harassed a few more dogs in the area. We all called bylaw. I'm not sure what else we can do.

(Also, can I tell you something about these trashy neighbours? It's really nasty. Don't read on if you can't handle the filth. A few days ago, we drove by their house with a friend of ours on our way to a BBQ, and they appeared to be.... Ugh.... Having sex on their ratty outdoor couch. I'm not a prude, but sweet Jesus, I will never burn that image from my mind).

On that note.... Well.... I've got nothing to make that better. Sorry. Dirty outdoor couch sex is just as gross as it sounds.

My taxes are done! Office job and music alike.

In the process of doing my music taxes, I went to check my total online sales so I could add the number to my chart. Do you know what I discovered? Let me tell you.

The company that manages my site sales had switched from sending me quarterly paycheques to letting the money pile up until I choose to have it deposited. I forgot about this in the madness of the past few months. Because I hadn't signed in for so long, there was money waiting for me! Thank goodness for tax season. And thank goodness for the kind souls who still buy my music.

What else? The Large Angry Dog(s) Situation is resolved, thanks to some very diplomatic chatting on the part of my BH. That man is an angel. And now I don't need to resort to having panic attacks every time I walk Morty at night.

But wait! There's more! I was interviewed by a local newspaper, discussing the role of internet publicity for independent musicians. It's something I've talked about before, but I guess since the industry has been turned on its head, it's as relevant as ever. I have no idea when or if it will be published, but it was fun to do the interview. I guess music isn't so hopeless after all.

In that same vein, I'm very seriously planning out my closet studio. It's going to be very small, and very soundproof. I can't wait.

I'm off to drink some port. Hugs to you, Internet.

Happy Sunday!

Thanks for all your encouraging comments on the last post. I think I'll just push through the craziness of the next few months and then prioritize getting a good songwriting space together. Whatever will be will be.

I know I had said my nutty work hours were over, but I'll actually be working late shifts for the next ten days or so.... Then it's REALLY over. Holy crap, it's been a long haul.

Luckily the shifts aren't quite as lengthy as they were before, so at least I've had a bit of a social life. Last night I even put on lipstick, slipped on a leather vest and drank pink champagne with some of my favourite people. It's fun making conversation with someone other than my dog or my co-workers. Also: leather vest! Fun!

Today my BH and I are going on a hot coffee date, followed by some hot grocery shopping and some hot dinner making. When you barely see your partner, everything suddenly seems exciting.

Hope you are all having a great weekend!

This was a truly lovely long weekend. Allow me to illustrate...

Morty and Jewel took a walk together and didn't attempt to kill each other. Jewel belongs to two of my best friends and let's just say she didn't get the memo about loving thy neighbourly dog.

To be fair to Jewel, Morty has taken to taunting her, just because he can. Sneaky boy!



Mark opened some mighty fine wine, and we all drank it. Is there anything finer than drinking wine with friends in a park?

No.

Holy shit, that was some great food. See the sushi rice/tofu pockets? I made those! More info for those who want to know. Can't recommend them enough.

Here, Milan's brother attempts to explain "gaming" to me. I lost him when he started talking about runes and trolls... Or troll runes... Or... Beards? I don't remember. I was lost, as I said.

But he's all into it.

You can see Milan's excellent photos in the background. Oh! And there's Milan!

Mmmm. Coffee. Did you know that I didn't drink coffee until Raw Sugar opened?

True.

Random Stella fact, just for you.

There you have it. I couldn't have asked for a better time. Here's hoping you did something lovely this weekend too!

Hey, look at these two lovely people I had dinner with the other night. The talented Ian, the magnificent Shawna. I am a lucky girl.

So, most of you are familiar with my cousin Brian right? The one who plays in my band? The highly skilled interpreter of Prince covers?

Brian is also a massage therapist. He has a studio in his home, and works from there while also doing his musical thing. Today, I mosied on over to his place and got a much-needed massage on my legs, which have a habit of going numb.

Dudes. DUDES. Do you need a massage therapist? Because Brian gave me one of the best massages I've ever had, and not only that, but he sang along to a wicked playlist of songs the entire time. My favourite line of the session was the following: "This is going to sound weird, but now I'm going to have to punch you in the butt for a while. It will help, I promise."

And it did!

Brian lives in Centretown and is a registered MT. E-mail me (hello.hella.stella [at] gmail [dot] com) and I'll give you his digits. The man kicks (and punches) ass, people. Don't be shy.

Last night was my final night of the Blues fest. I had fun, but holy hell, I'm glad to be done. My body was not happy about the late nights and early mornings. I saw the National and K'naan yesterday, and while I adore the National, K'naan blew them out of the water. He is so fracking amazing, I got all bouncy and bopped along like the short white chick I am. Fitting.

I ended up with a total of two lost cell phones in my possession over the course of the festival. One has already been picked up by its owner, and the other one belongs to a spacey hippie who is going to be tough to contact. We've played phone tag through her spacey hippie friends, but the girl no longer has her own phone with which to call me. When I finally got through to one of her friends and told them about the lost phone, she said "Duuuuuuude, you are totally like the fairy of lost cell phones, man!"

Mmmm hmmm. Yes. That's me. All I need now is a fucking tutu.

I'm off to a drunken wedding shower in a moment. I'm not really doing my body any favours this week. Here's to weddings and booze! It must be summer.

I'm off work today, so I'm making an effort to be a better blogger and actually write a post with pictures. AMAZING.

Music News:

Remember how I told you that the Vinyl Cafe was going to play one of my songs on their show over the weekend? They played it both Saturday and Sunday, and it was just as exciting as the first time I heard my songs on the air. I got all squealy. Picture me, ear on the speaker, going, "SQUEEEEEEEEE!" That's pretty much how it went down.

It was also neat to watch my stat counter and see people finding my music site from all across Canada and the US. Who knew that show had so many dang listeners? I mean, I figured as much... But seeing those numbers spike was tres cool. It also made me wonder if I should change my name for the next album, because shit, my real name is not catchy. I'm not sure a single person searching me spelled it right. On a practical level, that's not good for marketing.

And since I'm blathering on so much about music... I met with a filmmaker yesterday who is going to make me a music video! Like, a real one! One I can play on the television! The weird thing is that he originally contacted me to use one of my songs in his short film, and after chatting a bit, we realized that he went to high school with my BH.

Small freaking world.

I played him the only song I've got written for the new album, and he gave me a run-down of how he'd like to film it. It involves a snow storm, so it's a good thing we live in Ottawa! Free props. He's also going to take care of finding grant money, because he was sent straight from heaven.

Non-Music News:

My BH and I had planned to go to a wedding shower Saturday, and then to Irene's to see Brian play. Instead, my BH got called into work, and I headed down to the shower alone.

The shower was full of friends from high school, including High School Boyfriend* and a variety of people I used to hang out with every second of every day. Some of them now have babies. Am I ever going to get used to that? I don't think so. My friend introduced me to her son, and all I could think about was when we used to hang out at her house and eat boxes of brandy beans to try and get drunk.

True story. We had real class.

Anyway. It's been pretty neat to reconnect with those old friends. I still love them to bits, and it's kinda cool to see them all growing up. Scary, but cool. We're at the stage where people are pretending not to see those one or two grey hairs cropping up. For the record, I love young guys with grey hair, so I'm quite enjoying the shift. I just have to remember not to point it out with so much enthusiasm.

I drank several plastic cups of beer at the shower, ate no less than four mini cupcakes, and headed down to Irene's to catch Brian's set.

He was awesome, and I was drunk.

*HSB gave me a belated birthday present, and YAY, it's a book! I think we've been gifting each other books for the past few years, and it's never a disappointment.

Things are much better... Thanks to you nice folks for understanding what it's like to have a crap day. I know we all get them; they suck SO BADLY, no? Stupid crap days.

Today is actually going swimmingly - minus my Total Kitchen Meltdown last night that will affect Passover dinner in a few hours. I made kishka without the right measurements of stuff (my bad for improvising Bubbi's recipe) and it turned into soup.

Gross.

So instead of bringing kishka and wine to the host's house this evening, I am bringing wine and wine. I don't really think anyone will mind. The best accompaniment to wine is wine. (This theory works well for other drinks too... Surely I'm not the only one who has ordered two martinis at once just to get the evening going? Please tell me I'm not the only one. Please.)

This weird thing happened last night. My BH became convinced that I loved Indiana Jones and insisted that we watch the most recent version while he baked a cake. I think my brain exploded when Indy crawled into a fridge to avoid a nuclear blast AND SURVIVED. Because he crawled into a fridge. Strange, but I didn't think it was that easy.

I fell asleep, so I didn't see the ending. Should I watch the ending? Please advise.

Also, I have found my next favourite Ridiculous Fashion Invention that is almost as creepy as the infamous Snuggie.

Behold: Bumpits (I am thrilled that this crazy thing is the amalgamation of the words bum and pits, but has nothing to do with either)

Happy Pesach, happy Easter, happy long weekend... I promise not to blog whilst drunk.

My spike in stats tells me that y'all like weird smiley-face pictures. Or perhaps it was the pink shoes that did it. Either way, noted.

When it started pouring yesterday, I wasn't able to get the clothes off the line in time. I left them there, thinking that the rain would have to stop sooner or later. It did stop - and promptly resumed snowing. With some crunchy ice for good measure.

Sigh.

The clothes are still out there, because I am stubborn as shit, especially when it comes to battles I can't win. I guess the weather has bested me this time though, and I'll have to take the clothes down shortly (Confidential to Spring: You are going DOWN).

My taxes are in, and magically I don't owe any money. Next year I probably won't be so lucky, but man am I ever glad I don't need to fork over some cash to Revenue anytime soon. My work T4 is always pretty predictable, but since I also file taxes as a musician, I never know what to expect. The year I recorded the album I was in the red by, oh, a lot of money. This year I almost broke even. Next year? I guess we'll see. I'm not actually expecting to gig excessively this year, so I don't think the cash will be flowing into my pockets. Not terribly surprising.

Today is my BH's last official day of class. We celebrated last night by trying out a local Ethiopian restaurant. The people who run the place are very nice, and the food is okay, but the overall experience was underwhelming. In a way, that works in my favour. It just means I'll have to keep trying out Ethiopian restaurants one by one.... In hopes that I find one nearby that I love.

My Easter plans are still pretty minimal, although I do want to take out one of my closest friends for a nice strong martini. She's had a rough week and could use some alcohol and raunchy conversation to cheer her up (got your back, HH).

I am not feeling so fresh this morning.

I'm not sure whether to blame it on alcohol consumption, bad sleep or excessive furniture rearranging. Perhaps it was all three that did me in. Either way, I will be very glad when this day is over. My head feels like a cinder block.

The delightful JonnyB has described the Disney experience much better than I can. Please enjoy his rendition of meeting the main Mouse. He must be relieved his mother-in-law was not there to make him sit on Mickey's lap!

Unrelated: May I describe one of my pet peeves?

I watch a lot of TV news, and I do not understand this aggravating trend of reporting extremely stupid studies. Here are some simplified examples of recent studies I've been subjected to:

Too many vitamins are bad for you.
Vitamins are great - take them all the time.
Smoking can shorten your life.
Being extremely fat is unhealthy.
Getting lots of sleep can make you feel rested.
Showering makes you clean.

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. Are these things not common sense? Who in their right mind would pay for a study that tells us being morbidly obese is unhealthy? It makes me twitchy!

That is all for today - I must now focus my mind away from the overwhelming craving for Ethiopian food that just took over my brain.

I've had a rough time with mornings lately. I've been going to bed far too late, predictably missing my alarm when it goes off in the wee small hours.

Yesterday was especially bad. I jolted awake with twenty minutes before I had to leave the house. Throwing on whatever clothes I could find in the half light, I stumbled over to the bathroom the make myself look presentable. I flicked on the light. It was dead, and instead of taking the time to change the bulb, I put on makeup in the dark (when I got to work, I realized what a mistake that was).

I also noticed later in the day that the pants I had chosen to wear had dog food on them.

Plus, when I was leaving the house, I glanced into the front room to see that our daffodil plant had thrown itself off the shelf. There was dirt everywhere, but since I had one foot out the door, I had to leave it and call my BH in transit to tell him about the mess.

The solution to these terrible mornings is simply to prepare better the night before and get to bed early. I don't know why I can't just put that into practice.

But in more cheerful news, last night I had So! Much! Fun!

Milan and Emily invited my BH and I over for some grub. Milan said it was to thank us for teaching him how to make crispy tofu, but I think it was just a plot to one-up me. They made this elaborate arugula pesto linguine with roasted veggies, a big salad, and garlic bread. Dude, that is FAR MORE IMPRESSIVE than crispy tofu. Now we're going to have to invite them back and cook a ten-course meal to thank them properly.

I was fed a lot of wine so I *may* have done inappropriate things with avocados. Luckily Emily was all into it and we snuck off to the kitchen to carve faces into fruits and veggies. I'm... Not even kidding. Photos to come.

There's a chance I'll be out of town for a large chunk of this weekend. I will try and post that songwriting video before I leave, should I leave, so you can see one of the many reasons I stay up so late.

Who wants to sleep when you can make shaky videos on your camera?

Hello my dears.

It seems that, although I assumed my vacation would not get in the way of my posting, it most certainly has. Luckily, this saves you what would have been a few mundane entries about what I'm reading and when I woke up and how I like to iron my tablecloths (David Sedaris, 11:30am, often and with lots of steam).

Since tomorrow is my last day of holidays, I will hopefully hop back on the blogging wagon and make up for lost time. Although, I'll be returning to work with about a thousand e-mails waiting for me, so maybe that's a bit overly optimistic.

Meh.

I just made and ate a killer spiced carrot soup with caramelized onions, and in a perfect world, I would now bundle myself up and go meet Milan for a beer with my BH. However, my BH is asleep, and Morty is asleep on top of my BH. They are both snoring. Phone calls, hot food and poking has failed to rouse them. So I'm wondering what it's going to take, I guess. Brownies? I don't have time to make brownies....

Hopefully you are all transitioning nicely out of holiday mode. I am heading back to poke those boys awake.

I'm torn about the possibility of an OC Transpo strike.

I admit that when it comes to striking, I usually assume that the employer is being unreasonable and that the workers are getting screwed. While I see a bit of that in the case of OC Transpo, I mostly find their demands, well, insane. Especially considering the cost of bus fare, and how it keeps going up and up.

So, yeah, torn. Particularly when I think about the long walk into work I'll be making tomorrow. Made longer by construction and detours. And possible freezing rain. At the same time, my bus rides have been sucking anyways, so maybe this will be a fun adventure!*

Next week is my last full week of work before I get my holiday on. I am SO relieved. I could probably spend an entire week alternating between the kitchen and snuggling Morty and that would be just fine with me. Morty has been so cuddly since it got colder... He actually lays his head right over my neck when I am napping and practically purrs while he sleeps. While that makes it hard to breathe, it's also really fracking cute. I'll take cute over breathing comfortably for now.

Hiding my BH's Christmas presents is getting increasingly difficult. This is partly due to the layout of the apartment, but also due to the fact that he usually picks up the mail every day. This includes any mysterious packages that come to the house. Bearing company names. And basic product descriptions. BOOOOO.

Regardless. I will just have to deal, because I'm the one who decided to order everything online. I also have one last gift to grab, and it's from a local shop so there is no danger of package spoilers.

My final thought for the day: It's been a while since I bought myself a bottle of Bailey's, so I decided to indulge last week. Did you know that it's not meant to be consumed by the mugful? Who knew...

*DOUBTFUL.

So my dentist says: "Let's get rid of this infection and if it keeps coming back, I'll just remove your remaining three wisdom teeth." Then he smiled pleasantly, like he figured that would be a fun time for everyone involved.

I'm thinking I'll get rid of the infection, thanks. I love my dentist, but I don't want him yanking out three teeth because one of them is giving me trouble. The logic? She does not work.

Morty is on a pooping kick! How lovely! He refused to poo last night before bed, and by this morning he couldn't stand it any more and left a little gift next to my BH's night stand. It was an unpleasant surprise. And Morty looked soooo depressed.

Let's just say that he will be making mandatory pre-bed poos from now on. Aah, life with a puppy.

Yesterday morning I had zero things bought for Christmas. Now I have my BH, my mom, and my sister taken care of. That's not bad. Next up: in-laws, my BH's brother and sister, my Bubbi and my dad. I can manage this. I totally can.

Besides finishing up the gifts, I have a long list of things to do before the big day hits.

- Make dumplings! I know this isn't Christmas related, but I keep meaning to get it done so I'm not tempted to buy lunch.

- Get rip-roaring drunk. (It's just part of my holiday celebrations, okay?)

- Make mulled wine and Mexican egg nog.

- Assemble mincemeat and let it ferment. Consume it. Do it all again.

- Put up the tree! My BH surprised me by hooking us up with a real tree for Christmas. Considering that he's not a fan of real Christmas trees, I am super thrilled and appreciative. Now I just need to find the decorations...

- Watch both Harper's and Dion's statements on TV tonight and laugh and laugh and laugh.

- Go to my office Christmas party and avoid getting dragged on stage to sing. It happens to me every year and I am DONE people. I don't like to be the centre of attention at office functions - I prefer to hide under my desk.

- Buy winter boots and a winter coat. I technically already have both, but they didn't perform well last winter and I got tired of having wet ankles.

Whew. That's a lot of stuff. Best get started with the mulled wine thing.

I really need to stop giving my little sister advice.

First of all, she never takes it. But not only does she ignore the advice, she always insists I am wrong. If I gave out advice constantly, I would understand - who wants a know-it-all big sister? But I try to only give her advice when I'm really REALLY familiar with something. Besides, I've always appreciated hearing other people's experiences when I'm about to fuck something up.

The latest example is footwear. She bought a pair of very nice, very expensive Spanish leather boots. She plans to use them for winter.

I have a pair of shoes from this company, and my BH has two pairs of their boots. He tried to use them for winter last year, but since they are designed for warm weather, they nearly fell apart. No amount of weatherproofing could save them from a Canadian winter. Plus, they aren't lined. I mentioned this to my sister, fearing that her beloved boots would get destroyed after a couple of snow storms. She did that belittling "well obviously I'll weatherproof them" thing and I reminded myself to just stop trying. Just stop trying. Just stop.

In more exciting news, I have discovered the most hilarious (and ridiculous) infomercial I've seen in ages. Behold The Snuggie. Is this not the most insane sales pitch you've ever seen? Isn't this thing just a backwards housecoat? Sometimes I can't believe this stuff exists.

I'm attending a party tonight at a store where I used to work. Last time I went to one of their parties, I drank too much champagne and did an embarrassing little dance in the storage room. Probably while singing an embarrassing little song.

Hopefully tonight will be less messy.

EDIT: DUDES! I've been nominated for a Canadian Blogging Award under the Personal Blog category. I am very grateful for the nomination and I really appreciate all of you who take the time to read and comment. Some of my other favourite people were nominated too, so go have a look and vote before the end of the week!

Hi folks!

Sorry for the radio silence... I haven't forgotten about you. I really appreciate all your comments about budgeting. My BH and I are going to record all of our purchases, no matter how small (or large, ahem) and make some changes from there. I'll let you know how it goes! Here's hoping we learn some good budgeting skills in the process.

I'm writing you smack in the middle of the OCFF conference which I have been excited for all year. Last night I was playing at / attending concerts until 4am, and although I'm a bit of a night owl, that was LATE. I'm a night owl with a day job, so I don't often push my limits like that.

As much as this conference can be a wild, crazy, mildly stressful and expensive venture, it's also completely worth it. I'm particularly happy that it's taking place a ten minute walk from my house, instead of a six hour drive to a city I don't especially like. I've already had a bunch of adventures, some of which involving drunken males who were too fucked up to know how to be appropriate, but some involving great musical exposure. Tonight I have two more gigs, for which I am both excited and totally, nauseatingly nervous.

Speaking and drinking and nausea, have you guys ever tried a Dark and Stormy? It's Bermuda rum, ginger beer and lime juice. I drank a pitcher of it last night! It is excellent and I recommend it to all of you. Just don't drink the whole pitcher.

Here are some shots of the pre-concert preparations. I'm considering skipping the workshops today so I'll have energy for the shows tonight. It's already the afternoon, anyway. People at the hotel are probably just waking up.




PS: Oh! And three minutes into the room setup, I mashed my hand behind a wardrobe and bled on the hotel sheets. I sure know how to party! Good thing Shawna travels with a first aid kit...

I learned a lot of valuable things from my dinner with Heather last night. Lessons about the beauty of friendship, the pleasure of good food, and the therapeutic effect of wine.

But most of all, I learned that when you are cutting hot peppers to throw into your gnocchi, do not scratch your eye. Even if you have washed your hands several times, do not scratch your eye. Even if you are sure there is no way hot pepper juice could still be on your fingers, do not scratch your eye.

Because if you do, you may find yourself in the bathroom frantically dunking your head into the sink to stop the infernal burning. I just kept repeating "oh no oh no oh no" as though that would dull the pain. It didn't. The throbbing, hot, searing sensation lasted well into the night. My BH kept trying to attack me with an ice pack, and I evaded him mostly because I couldn't see him very clearly and so kept walking away. Morty was all, "What's the crazy lady doing?" and I was all "Maybe I should walk into this wall."

Fun times.

Some useful things we've done in the past week:

• ordered a telephone so that people can call us on our land line. not that we have access to voicemail yet...
• ordered a battery for our laptop because our current battery lasts for 0.04 seconds! useful.
• bought a super duper on sale air conditioner so Morty doesn't freak out during the next heat wave.
• gave away nearly everything we weren't using anymore.
• memorized the Primus customer service number. this is essential for new Primus customers everywhere.
• spilled turmeric on the white table cloth and then SCREAMED.

Yeah, so it's same old same old with us. But the good news is that my Mystery Cough is slightly less violent today. It's not rattling the windows anymore.

Wicked was amazing. You don't need to like musicals or Broadway or even the NAC, but you would still like Wicked. Really. My only regret is not bringing my mom to the show, since she used to design theatre costumes and would have swooned over the outfits. They were outrageous.

So I walked out of there on a theatre high, all cheerful and giddy, and realised that the whole production actually made me a bit depressed that my creative juices have stalled. How do you get your artistic mojo back after it's gone on holiday? I tried writing a song over the weekend and discovered to my dismay that Morty is scared shitless of my instruments. He spent half the day hiding in the kitchen because there was a guitar in the bedroom and a banjo in the front room. When we lured him into the front room with treats, he bared his teeth at the banjo and growled.

Growled! At my banjo!

Anyhow. He cheered right up when he got to visit with Jo and Shy Dog. At one point he was laying directly on top of Shy Dog and chewing on her neck. She was not impressed, but was remarkably patient. Thanks Shy Dog! I promise you that it doesn't get much worse than that! (Okay, it does, but he hasn't done the Slow Hump in a while.)

Later on, my BH and I hunkered down and cleaned the apartment like crazy people. Now we have a sparkly home just in time for school and the beautiful changing leaves. Have I told you how much I love fall? I love it. LOVE IT. I especially love fall food, and I look forward to making delicious pumpkin treats in the coming weeks. I was all ready to make pumpkin muffins when I discovered that none of our muffin tins made it to the new place after the move. This must be remedied. Vite vite.

Tonight I woo Heather with dinner and wine. I will try to remember to put the instruments away so we aren't serenaded by the sound of Morty's growls as we act all distinguished and classy. Haha. Okay. We're not super convincing, I know. I will report any drunken antics should they occur.

Ahem. WHEN they occur.