The Unicorn Costume

Things have gotten slightly ridiculous around here.

Sometimes people ask me how I get my horses so quiet. The short answer is: well, they live with me so...

Last month, Juli snagged a blow up unicorn costume online for cheap. She took it to work with her, where everyone had a blast watching the minis react to it. 

When I saw the video, I expressed my jealousy. Juli then commented, "It would be hilarious to watch someone try to ride in it..."

Challenge. Accepted.

The next day, Juli came to the barn to ride with me after work with the unicorn costume in tow. I went out to the pasture with a rope halter and a cookie, singing, "Here Booger, Booger, Booger..."

While Booger is generally the hotter of my two horses, I also started her myself and have laid her entire foundation. Lucy is naturally good natured and steady, but that actually means I have done very little of the usual ground work and desensitizing that I do with young horses. After all, Lucy was pretty well broke when she arrived from Texas. I have taught Lucy a lot of new things over the past couple years, but I know Booger's entire history and I felt confident I could trust her with this game. 

After I posted these photos and videos online, a few people asked what I did to introduce the costume to Booger. Ummm... I put it on and climbed on my horse.

Ok, so that's not 100% true. 

First I had to figure out how the costume worked. I took it out of the packaging and gave it a shake. To this, Booger pricked her ears. "Oh good, the human is doing something stupid. I am definitely getting cookies for this..."

I stepped into the giant bag of a costume and tried to figure out how to work the battery pack. It whirred slightly when I finally found the button. This did not seem to concern Boo at all. After all, we have seen plenty of motors and engines in our travels. The costume inflated at a surprising and somewhat alarming speed. Walking in it was absolutely ridiculous. For starters, the little window you see out of was designed for a taller person than myself. Plus it fogged up pretty quickly from my breathing. The costume is about eight feet tall and floppy AF. 

Booger seemed intrigued but followed me around as I got my sea legs. 

"We should get more cookies," I stated as I marched back across the ring to the trunk in the corner. By this point, Juli was cackling. Quite Quiet looked relieved that it wasn't her human acting like a lunatic.

I fed Booger a few cookies, and while she looked for more, I asked her, "Can I get on you?'

Juli replied, in her best Booger voice, "Mayyyybe...."

I did decide to deflate the costume before getting on, so it wouldn't be any different than mounting in a baggy poncho. Getting on was a challenge. You see, the costume has a really short inseam to make the legs comically short and stubby. I had to hike the legs way up to clear the saddle. 

"I wonder if this is how Fran feels trying to get on Lilly..." I pondered. 

Once on board, I declared, "My husband doesn't need to know we're doing this." Then I asked, "Ready?" as I hit the inflate button. 

Booger swiveled her ears skeptically but stood stock still as I blew up to my full height.

The rest is a blur of giggles and insanity. Booger was an absolute saint while we goofed off. She was hesitant to move forward, probably because the costume felt a bit like a drunken idiot swaying on her back. After a few minutes, she was marching compliantly around the ring, though still not looking very amused. When it came time to trot, we got off to a bit of a stop-and-go start. After a few laps, Juli pointed out that the costume had a blow up tail that was bopping Booger in the butt with every stride. She honestly would have been totally excused if she dropped me on my head and went home. By the time I was too hot and stuffy to keep playing with the costume, we'd done walk, trot, and canter, and had even side passed over a cavaletti. I drew the line at jumping on our first try, but she probably would have been fine. The bigger problem was that I was riding completely blind. I couldn't see out the little window while mounted. I always tell my students that you should be able to ride your horse by feel, even if you were blind folded. This was a good chance to practice what I preached. 

My favorite part, however, was after I dismounted. I unzipped the costume and emerged, peekaboo style. Booger pricked her ears at me as I announced, "It's just me!!" The expression on her face was too cute. 

Of course, I compiled a video of the whole escapade.

Booger got lots of extra treats for being a super sport that day. I then jokingly told her that she is really, truly never allowed to spook at anything again. 

In all seriousness, though, this sort of thing is an excellent demonstration of learned behavior v. instinct. Booger has been handled almost exclusively by me since she was a yearling. I did all sorts of work with her with tarps and flags and plastic bags as a youngster. She has learned that nothing I do will cause her harm. Meanwhile, she still occasionally spooks at things on trail, which is strictly a lack of exposure. 

While we can expose horses to all kinds of things in an arena setting and make them braver and teach them skills to cope with lack of confidence, the only thing that will desensitize a horse to the real world is getting them out in the real world. This is why we see so many horses who are good at home, but panic at shows or events. It's also why I roll my eyes at de-spooking clinics. While they are a lot of fun and you can teach horses to do cool things like walk through fire, the applications to the real world are limited. So many horses go to de-spooking clinics and do awesome, only to come home just as timid and reactive as they were before they went. It's also why a horse can see a balloon blowing across its pasture and want to play with it, but then drop its rider if a plastic bag appears on trail.

The analogy I use when I discuss this in training is the gun analogy. You can own guns and be comfortable with guns and not be afraid of guns. You can see your gun in your bedroom every day and not thing anything of it. But if you see a gun in someone's hand at the grocery store, you are probably going to have a very different reaction. Just because a horse can walk over a tarp or carry an idiot in a unicorn costume doesn't mean the horse won't spook at a car or a deer or a bicycle. 

This is why I'm so unimpressed with all these sale videos of "bombproof" horses. You know the ones: standing on them, firing guns off them, dragging a tarp off their back. While those are all cool party tricks, they don't actually tell you if the horse is safe, quiet, or beginner friendly. Booger is a great example. I could slap together an hour long video of all the silly things I've done with her over the years, and throw a five figure price tag on her. Somebody would probably snatch her up, and if they weren't an advanced rider, they'd probably end up really hurt or at least scared. And if they were an advanced rider, they'd probably be horrified by her canter! 

I guess my point is that there was no point to doing this. 

All the same, it felt pretty good to be able to do something this ridiculous with this particular horse, and I still chuckle out loud when I think about it.