July Photos

If you're not in the mood for my political views, you may wanna skip this one ;)

 I'm thinking of updating my Facebook profile tagline to say, "I'm pro-mask, and anti-racist. If you're not, don't bother!"

I have removed over 50 people since May 19th. There are still a few whose views anger me, but I think they are genuinely clueless about how hurtful they are being. That is not an excuse, but I believe that shouting into an echo chamber isn't healthy, and I have a small sliver of hope that some of them will come around with more information. The remaining stragglers are those who I believe are good people who are capable of becoming better.

I've been so proud of my friends in general. There have been two comments this month that missed the point, and I barely had to say a word as others flooded in to express themselves in firm, but polite tones. The two comments were, "It's sad that we need feds in the streets right now," and, "Why can't we all just get along?" The first commenter actually sent me an apology the next day!! And the second eventually shut up, which is good enough for me. Racists (and closet racists) have too much of a platform for their shitty opinions as it is. My page will not be one of them. We may not be able to change people's thoughts, but it should be uncomfortable for them to speak them. It should be the racists, not BIPOC who feel uncomfortable in our society.

Meanwhile, the coronavirus continues to wreak havoc on the US, and the US as a whole continues to do very little about it. Recently, three parties in Monmouth and Ocean Counties here in NJ made our state's RT pass that crucial 1.0. One was a high school party where 50+ teens were infected. Of course, they didn't cooperate with contact tracers because they didn't want to get in trouble for underage drinking. Then 35 or so life guards had to be pulled off duty for a party they held at LBI. Best of all, there was a party of 700+ people in Jackson that required the entire police force to break it up. We have no idea how that is going to impact our numbers. These people should be charged with reckless endangerment. They should be heavily fined and jailed.

I saw a few of my former clients posting selfies of themselves on rafting trips and in pools with dozens of friends, and I lost the last little shred of respect I had for them.

Frankly, it's an emotionally exhausting time to be alive. I am terrified for what the next few months will bring on many levels. I am also angry. This feels like a group project, and just like when I was a kid, I'm doing all the work while suffering the consequences of others who won't pull their own weight. I haven't had physical contact with anyone but my husband in four months. I couldn't even hug my mom when she came to visit us outside a few weeks ago. I can't go to the few endurance rides that are actually being sanctioned. I can't even go to the grocery store and browse the shelves without precautions. My entire life as a I know it is on hold indefinitely because other people can't follow a few simple rules. It's infuriating.

And we can't even "leave if we don't like it" because the rest of the world has formally shunned Americans. I have never been more ashamed to live here. I have identified as primarily American for most of my adult life because I was so young when we moved here, but right now...? That is not an identity I want to be affiliated with.

While I've adjusted to the new normal (phone, wallet, keys, hand sanitizer, wipes, mask), it's still so sad to think about it. It is now second nature to mask up before leaving the car, and to clean my hands every time I touch something outside my home. I feel physical discomfort when watching old movies where people shake hands or hug each other or eat indoors. We've adjusted to living on a severely reduced income, partly because we don't do anything any more. Even the dogs have gotten used to us being home day in and day out. Still, I hope it won't be this way forever...

(Whoa... I had more to say than I thought.)

Anyway, July has come and gone. It was hot and miserable. I tried to get everything ridden by noon every day, and spent a lot of time hiding indoors; reading, doing yoga, and cross stitching. Thankfully, there haven't been too many exciting developments for us personally (knock on wood!) except that Tookie and Oreo are officially staying here so I guess I have two horses now.

My theme for the year. This goes for IRL too.

Drone Photos

Finally got out to fly the new drone a bit this month. I'm bummed because we had an absolutely glorious sunset last night and I wasn't able to send the drone up. I had it all charged and ready to go, only to find out that the airspace over NJ is restricted right now because Trump is at his golf course in Bedminster. Restrictions won't lift until Sunday night so I can't even fly the drone at face height this weekend, which sucks because the sunflower fields are in full bloom right now!! So while I'm going through withdrawal, I figured I'd share some media from the last month. I compiled most of it into one video.

As usual, NJ is completely hideous. Everyone stay away. 

Yoga

I was initially just going to do a monthly yoga post, but I have taken a lot of photos and videos these last few weeks, and I'm currently obsessed, so here goes.

I'm continuing to take Zoom classes with Eryca (ERL Yoga on FB) about three times a week, and I've even had a few blogger friends join in on the fun! At least once a week, Eryca and I have a play date, also on Zoom, that involves us doing "see a pose, try a pose" from various sources (Instagram, Pinterest, Youtube, and our current favorite book, 2100 Asanas).We have mixed results. Some poses look harder than they are. Others look reasonable but we cannot contort ourselves into the shapes required.

Eryca has also been experimenting with various ways of teaching flows during a pandemic. This includes Facebook Live videos as well as IGTV. This week, we pooled our resources and she designed a yoga flow specifically for equestrians, which should drop on Thursday. I am definitely going to be recommending it to all my students as they try to get some of their "sea legs" back after lock down.

In between sessions with Eryca, I try to do a YouTube video every day, varying what body parts I target each session. Currently, I'm actively chasing splits, which I tend to do on Mondays.

While there are an infinite number of possible poses, and I'm constantly trying something new, I'm also having fun fine tuning poses I've tried before. Even though I'm still really new to this, I'm seeing some real progress already! Day to day, I don't feel any more balanced or flexible, but when I see what a pose looks like now compared to what it looked like a few short weeks ago, I am almost always impressed!

I still have sooooo many goals that I'm desperate to achieve, and I have to remind myself that flexibility does not happen over night, and that I'm still a greenie when it comes to all this. And I seriously need to start splicing together all the falling over,  graceless tumbling, and awkward hopping around videos into a blooper reel for the blog...

These photos were taken 33 days apart! I was so proud of myself when I got the first one. When I saw them side by side, my jaw actually dropped! 

RIP Hawk

I was doing yoga on Thursday when I missed a bunch of calls and texts from Emily. I knew immediately that something was very wrong. The first text message said, "Hawk hurt himself. Vet is on the way." Then I received this graphic photo (TW: eye gore). Crap. I had seen Hawk on Wednesday morning and he'd been totally fine. I hoped it was just an injury to the third eyelid, but I had a bad feeling.

My vet arrived at the barn and immediately advised taking Hawk to New Bolton. On top of the obvious eye injury, he had a nasal discharge that smelled terrible, and his entire face and head were swollen and hot. The hope was that a sinus flush and a course of antibiotics would help.

Unfortunately, the trip to New Bolton revealed bad news on top of bad news. What started as a bad tooth led to a nasty infection tract that basically drilled a hole into the sinus cavity. A CT scan revealed pockets of infection behind Hawk's eye and around his ears. His entire skull was full of pus and the pressure of the build up had caused his third eyelid to prolapse. There were probably skull and orbital bone fractures, and the vets couldn't guarantee there wasn't an underlying mass causing all of this. Chances were that Hawk would lose the eye, but the bigger problem was that they couldn't guarantee they'd even be able to get the infection under control. Even if they did, he would only have use of one nostril after the fact. Worse, Hawk was given less than a 50% chance of surviving the initial treatment. If he did survive, he would have a long and very expensive road ahead, including microbial therapy and an extended hospital stay. I'm not sure that's something I would put a young horse without preexisting medical conditions through. Hawk was 25 with COPD.

Needless to say, Jess made the heartbreaking decision to let him go.

Meanwhile, I sat at home and cried bitterly over the fact that I couldn't even go hold her hand like I normally would because of this stupid pandemic.

Hawk lived a good long life, and Jess just had a lesson with him two weeks ago. He was sound and happy right up until his last day. While this was a horrible way to go, I am glad that the decision was a clear one for Jess's sake. There is no doubt that it was the right thing to do. Still, it's never long enough when you love a heart horse, and  my heart breaks for Jess who has known Hawk most of her life.

I hate that horses are like this. There are so many flaws with the way they're designed, and their teeth are definitely one of them. I had someone compare horse teeth to a mechanical pencil once, and that analogy has stayed with me. A horse's teeth grow continuously throughout its life, like clicking the lead in the pencil. The motion of grazing and chewing wears the teeth down (with the help of annual floats, of course) just like writing with the pencil. And just like the mechanical pencil, the horse's skull one day "runs out of lead". I have seen old horses who get sinus infections from missing teeth before. In fact, some of you may remember Gayle at the rescue, who came in emaciated from exactly that type of infection. Often times, you can flush the sinus, treat with antibiotics, and "plug the hole" to prevent future problems. Our dentist at the rescue actually made a "denture" of sorts for Gayle, and she lived several happy years at a healthy weight after that. But I have never seen an infection this severe or that moved this fast. The horse went from romping happily around his pasture to euthanized in 48 hours and there's nothing anyone could have done about it.

Days like this, I'm not sure why we even do this.

Fly high, Hawk. Good boy <3

Dog Trial

I tried to come out of hiding a little bit this past weekend. Spoiler alert: that didn't last long.

Carolyn messaged me last week to let me know the dog club was holding a small trial at her farm Saturday night into Sunday morning. She was expecting roughly ten competitors and welcomed me to come out and take pictures. Since the trial is held outside in a big, open field, I figured this would be a good chance to test the waters a bit.

NJ is still in Stage 2 of re-opening, and our governor wisely stopped plans to re-open any further in response to the numbers going up in other states.* As of this week, masks are also mandatory in public outside when social distancing isn't possible. This is specifically in response to people standing on top of each other in lines for things like ice cream. I'm tired of hearing people bitch about it. If you don't want to wear a mask outside in the heat you can a) not stand close to other people or b) don't go get ice cream during a pandemic. I am really 100% out of sympathy.

*Are any of you from Florida? What the hell are you people doing down there?!?! 15,000+ new cases per day, but sure let's open Disney. Holy crap.

In any case, I packed my camera, mask, and hand sanitizer, and made the 20 minute drive to Carolyn's. I pulled in the driveway and was surprised to see the place packed with cars. A lot of people were still sitting in their cars with their dogs so I cautiously parked and ventured out.

I was completely mortified to see a crowd of people sitting close to each other on the bleachers, with nary a mask between them. I knew some of these people had traveled from out of state, which did not help my anxiety.

I walked way, way, way around the bleachers and parked myself in the far corner of the field, which is when I realized that the light was coming from completely the wrong direction. I debated getting back in my car and just going home, but then I saw that Carolyn and Rondo were the next in line for the obedience portion of the trial. So I hung out for a few minutes and took pictures of the pair before them, then stuck around for Rondo's turn.

I hope that things will eventually get back to normal so I can really check out these trials more often. While I officially decided that I don't have the time or energy to commit to yet another really intense hobby right now, I am still fascinated by the world of IGP and would love to learn more. The first night of this trial was the BH and Obedience portions, and even just the little bit I saw was really cool.

Once Carolyn and Rondo were done, I walked around the indoor and met up with Carolyn for a few minutes to catch up (from a distance). She said she was surprised at how many people had showed up since it was supposed to be a small trial with no spectators. She invited me to stay for dinner and have a beer, but I declined. Instead, I promised to come visit another time when it was just the two of us, and got in my car to go home.

Originally, I was planning to get up on Sunday morning to go check out the tracking and protection portions of the trial, but after seeing how many people had turned out for the "boring" part of the trial, I decided against it. It may very well be safe to gather outdoors for something like this, and I may be over reacting, but I'm not even seeing people I know personally indoors right now, so this was a deal breaker for me.  I'm back in my hole, thank you very much.

Still, I got a handful of decent photos and thought I'd share them alongside my thoughts on how all of this is happening Too Soon.

(As a side note, the trial was completely in compliance with all current NJ laws regarding the coronavirus. This is not a criticism of the event. It's just a note of my own discomfort level in the current world. NJ is allowing outside gatherings  of up to 500 people. While these people were strangers to me, most of them know each other. I was not the only person with a mask, and some people even brought their own seats and sat far away from the rest of the spectators. The trial was also on private property so masks are not legally required for this type of event.)

Rondo retrieving the dumbbell. 

Herbie's First Race Back

For those of you who are confused, I'm talking about Herbie the horse. I don't work at the racehorse barn any more, but I still keep tabs on the horses who were there when I was. One of them, a gelding named Umbrage, just had his first race back. His barn name was Herbie (because his owner's name is Herbert). For obvious reasons, that made him a favorite of mine! He was also a really good boy (if he'd been there when I started riding racehorses, I might have stuck with it!) Spoiler alert: Herbie won his race! Check it out below (and make sure you look at the masks in the winner's circle... what a time to be alive!) There are a lot of things I don't like about horse racing, but I still get really excited whenever I see one I know win a race.

Photo by Bill Denver (Equiphoto), used with purchase.

Mount Minsi: Crash of the Drone

This post is long overdue.

Back in February, Mike and I decided to go check out Mount Minsi in Pennsylvania. We did the NJ side of this hike (Mount Tammany) in 2018 when we accidentally hiked 16 miles. Mount Minsi has been on our list for a while, but because it's a more straight forward and shorter hike, it tends to attract a crowd, so we've been putting it off. It's almost a two hour drive for us and there were a lot of other places we wanted to check out. One weekend we finally decided to knock this one off the list.

It was a beautiful, sunny day and the temperatures were mild for February. We decided to pack the drone and leave Julio at home.

Yoga Things

I was worried that yoga would end up on the back burner as things got a little busier. While I am still far, far, far from my previously normal level of activity, I am still pleased with how easily yoga has continued to fit into my daily routine. 

I'm going to start this entry by sharing a not-really-funny story from two weeks ago. It was 95 degrees when I headed to Emily's barn. I have been going there for years now and I consider most of the girls friends as well as clients. I mean, once you get drunk at the beach for your birthday with someone, the professional relationship blurs. Those of you who read the blog probably know that I have some body image issues, particularly when it comes to my legs. But, like I said, I know these girls really well, and it's disgustingly hot out, so I wore shorts to the barn since I wouldn't be riding. The shorts in question were Nike running shorts, the kind with the under liner, like this.

Emily was riding Shadow that day, and his owner, who I've never formally met, was watching. After Emily dismounted, this woman walks up to me and, without so much as a "hi, nice to meet you", she blurts out, "What are you wearing?"
I was honestly a little stunned and I stammered, "Um, shorts and a t-shirt?" I wasn't really sure what she was referring to. It's not like I was in a coconut bra.
"What is this little black thing you've got going on?" she continued, gesturing at my lower half. At this point, I was actively backing away from her because she wasn't wearing a mask and was getting to be too close to me.
"They're running shorts," I answered, while internally telling myself that I didn't actually owe this woman an explanation.
"Oh, from behind, I thought it was a thong." And with that she shrugged and walked away.

You guys, I was mortified. I frantically checked to see if my ass was hanging out, even though I feel like that's something I would have noticed (and Jess and Jocelyn both assured me that they would have pointed it out if I didn't). I wasn't even wearing a thong underneath the shorts, not that it's any of anyone's business.

So then I went home and did my daily yoga while wearing yoga shorts. For the record, these I would not wear out in public, even though I love seeing them on other girls.

I sort of accidentally did peacock pose, which surprised the heck out of me. I don't normally post yoga pictures on Facebook, but I was pretty proud of myself so I shared this one:

And then someone on IG, who I have never met, commented, "You need to work on your tan." Well, I tried and got judged for it soooo..

Anyway, my point is that it's 2020 and I was under the impression that we don't judge people for their bodies or their choice of outfit. Like, go to any given beach and look at the bathing suits that are on the market (and good for them!) Or go to any yoga page and check out the super cute body suits and sports bras.  It's literally none of anybody's business what I wear in my own living room! I'm tempted to post a picture of myself doing some weird pose actually in a thong with my ass facing right at the camera.

New rule, you're not allowed to judge my shorts unless you're in the pose I'm wearing them in. And even then, I don't want to hear it! Yeesh.

And now, some more yoga photos and notes.