My Life. In a Nutshell...

So every year I like to update this blog on who I am and who I have become. This is always fun for me to read later on and I will eventually publish/ print this blog for my family. This fight against obesity is the HARDEST trial I have had to overcome all by myself. I have had other struggles that were challenging, but I wasn't alone in them. THIS is a lonely battle. THIS can only be changed by ME. And so keeping an appropriate record of this battle of the fatties will be my legacy for my children. (Hopefully not my only legacy... but one for them to be proud of.)

So this is me... in the raw. As of September 2012.

I am 28 years old (awaiting my impending 29th birthday in a few short months). ACK! Next year will be my DIRTY 30! And by that, I of course mean some sort of food fight... right? ;)

My husband and I bought our first house this last November. It was a very LONG process... and I had hopes to paint all the walls and make it super duper trendy. 9 months later I am FINALLY finding things on swap sites for super cheap. YAY! Money is definitely not to be spent frivolously at this time in our lives. We have a mortgage now people! haha!

I ADORE my sister. She is my best friend. She is also my BIGGEST inspiration right now. She's the skinnier version of me on the LEFT... haha! :)

I think it is important to figure out what and who inspires us, and she does it for me. She started out in a not-so-different situation as I concerning her weight gain. But instead of letting it take over her life like I did... she took care of it. When ever I see her I feel renewed. I KNOW that I can look like that too! I mean- we do have the same genes and all! ;) HAHA!

When I reached my 25 pound loss I got a little bit of a makeover. I went from ghetto to fab in 4 hours! haha! Yeah... it took me 4 hours! ;) That's how much of a hot mess I was.

 ^2012

v2005

 My husband and I are having our 7 year anniversary in November. We have grown up so much in that time! Looking at both of these pictures kind of make me giggle. We look like such THUGS in the bottom one! Yeah... we were super fly. BAHAHA... Not so much.

I also reached my heaviest weight this year. 279 after Lyndi was born. This has DESTROYED what ever pride I have ever had in who I was. But I am working hard to get it off. I have hit a plateau and know all the jargon behind it but still need to find that inner strength to fight through it. I have it in me, I just NEED to find the energy.

Any suggestions? ;)

My favorite color is an olivey/ lime green. LOVE IT! Want to decorate my entire house in it! :)

I am a photographer. Mostly for hobby... but I am starting to move away from just being an artist into making a little ooh-la-la on the side. ;) (By that I, of course, mean money... what are you thinking crazy???)

And the biggest part of who I am right now is a SAHM of 3 cuddly, crazy and cute bug-a-boo's! I love them SO much. So much I want to rip all of my hair out... daily. So much we live practically destitute so that I can be home with them... daily. SO MUCH that I pray for them several times ... daily. I just can't imagine my life with out them, even if it is a difficult life right now. They can make me laugh like no one else. (They can also make me yell like no one else either! haha!)

But with those few little facts make up a whole lotta me. I love chocolate and hate whole grains. I love ice cream... and can settle for skinny cow. *And don't be fooled here... SKINNY COW IS PRETTY AMAZING! I just love me some nice creamy cream ice cream.*

And in closing I would like to re-explain my title. Not to you... but to me. Sometimes I get a little shy because it sounds a little narcissistic. I mean, doesn't it? "ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?" I mean... REALLY? Couldn't I have chosen something a little LESS vain?

Well here's the thing. EVERY woman- young, old, and every one in between- needs to KNOW that she is beautiful. It doesn't matter the number on the scale. My number is 253 but as you just read you know that that isn't what makes me Nichole. Nikki. Babe. Goose. ;) There is so much to me then being the fat sister. I am outgoing and funny. I am also very hard to get close to. I have a love hate relationship with relationships. My best friends are that... They are MY BEST FRIENDS. They had to fight for that title. But THAT'S who I am. I am NOT the fat girl.

Every woman needs to find that INNER beauty and rejoice in it. We are AMAZING creatures. Seriously. A-MAZE-ING!  *Any thing that can endure the horrors of labor... and then endure the pain of breast feeding is freaking awesome. We are freaking awesome even if we don't breast feed. We are AWESOME because we have the choice to do what ever the heck we want.

We are amazing.

And we are beautiful.

And I need to keep my title the way it is... because I need to see it. Daily. For myself.

Because I am just like the rest of you... with just another 70 pounds to go before I am normal. And no, that doesn't make me the fat girl.

It makes me beautiful.

BECAUSE my friends. We are ALL beautiful... and freaking AMAZING!

Love Nikki