Where has the year gone?

I can't believe it is already November? What happened to this year? Between my last post of Miss L party and today so much has happened. Mason also had a birthday and of course the first thing he likes to remind me is that in less than a year he will be a Deacon :( Huge sigh I'm not ready for that! The kids and I made a deal last year after Mason got shorted on his Birthday party by just having a home party however if you ask me it was a pretty cool Amazing Race party. Anyways we agreed that Friend birthday parties would alternate between years that way mom only had to figure out how to fund one birthday party just before Christmas so this year was Laken's party and Mason just had a small Family dinner and of course he is already making big plans for his 12th next year. Ugh!
I can't believe either of my kids are as grown up as they are already? Where has the time gone. Life has been nuts these days with my insanity of going back to school full time, working full time, and trying to maintain my church calling although I have tried every attempt to get out of that deal some how it is still not working. I quess I can sleep when I'm dead? I can't believe that I only have a few more weeks of this semister and then it is time to start again. CRAZY of course I had to pick the most intense program at LDSBC to take not knowing the Interior Design and drafting were the schools most intense programs. I just thought I got to play in picking fabrics and colors. Boy was I wrong. I am so thankful for understanding even children and a mother who helps me out when it comes to picking the kids up if I need her too because lord knows I can't can't on anyone else for that. I can't even count on him to take care of his monthly duties but, once again this should not be a new concept for me. I have to just try and remind myself that when I feel exhausted and over whelmed with life and school the flake that I have to deal with is why I'm doing what I'm doing so that I can better the lives of my kids. It may be a very long few years but I am so lucky to be able to do it.

Happy Birthday Little Miss

I can't believe you are already 7 years old? How is that even possible? I swear it seems like just yesterday that I was on bed rest while pregnant with you? You are becoming such an amazing little girl you have so much self confidence and that makes me so happy. I pray everyday that you will keep that confidence as you grow older and have to face some more tough times as you grow up in a mean cruel world. The past few years you have been so into Fancy Nancy you truly believe that the books were based off of your life. And friends and family seem to think so as well. You asked me almost 2 years ago for a Fancy Nancy Tea Party so this party was so much fun for Mom to plan for you. I loved watching your face light up as you walked into the decorated house. Of course your big brother loves to give you surprises and wanted you to go to Daycare while we prepared for the party so you could be surprised. Some of my favorite moments where when you walked into the house the night before your party and the first thing you did after gasping in delight was run and give Mommy a huge hug and tell me that you loved me and thank you. G'ma told me that I went overboard and did too much but, seeing your face and having that hug and thank you was worth everything to me. My other favorite moments where when you woke up on the day of your birthday you went out into the patio and told me "Mom if you are sad that I'm no longer 6 you can look at my hand print on the garden stone." You were convinced that your hand size had already changed. Little do you know Mommy will always look at my garden stone you made me and think back to the time you were my little 6 year old girl. So here is some of the pictures and memories that I will always love from your 7th Birthday Party I hope you will also remember them.
This was the picture Mommy put on the invitation it still makes me cry because you look too grown up in it. Next some pictures of the party decor

Your Big brother is so good to you he dressed up like a waiter and played the part for you and your friends.
Your Party guest all dressed up in their "most exquisite ensemble" just like the invitation said. Everyone looked so cute and I'm sure the neighborhood all got a good laugh seeing 7 little girls running around dressed up like little diva's.
Even your puppy Paisley was smiling on your Birthday she had to get in your picture as well. :)
As your guest arrived first we made bubblegum "pearl" necklaces. Then we had to make our fancy tea party hats and get our white gloves on.
We played a game of pin the necklace on Fancy Nancy and had lunch and tea which included 3 types of mini finger sandwiches, mini fruit kabobs, chips, and of course tea cookies and cupcakes and ice cream. You and your friends were pretty funny trying to be fancy at the table using mom's china (cringe) :P While at lunch mom overheard you lean over to your as you say BFFL (Best Friend For Life) and tell her that you would invite each other to birthday parties even up in heaven. The rest of your friends said Laken you will probably still be Fancy Nancy even when you are 100! Later we played some games outside like a "Frenchy" Poodle Pinata and instead of "Tag your it" we play "Pardon Me Mademoiselle" when you opened your presents each person told you something that they like about you before they handed you their gift. Mom laughed as all of them claimed they loved you because you were funny and always made them laugh and always told jokes or sang funny songs that made them giggle. Yep that sums you up the lord blessed me with a little red head that always makes me laugh and giggle even when she is being stubborn she still makes me giggle. I love you little Minnie me!

Sad Toothfairy!

First off my little girl has a tendancy to loose her teeth during busy holiday times. Let me remind you I have alot to do during holiday's to make sure things are bought wrapped, and done without children present which that alone seems like an impossible task sometimes. Anyways last time Laken lost her 2 front teeth the day before Christmas Eve. This time she lost a tooth the day before Easter I had plans for Sat. night so friday night I mean the toothfairy spaced it and was up until 2am making sure everything was ready for the Easter Bunny. I tried to tell little one that maybe the toothfairy was busy getting the Easter Bunny ready (plus she lost her tooth at daycare) so she wrote a note she wrote it all by herself and refused to let anybody even see what she wrote she was very secretive about it all so this is the note the toothfairy found. :(

The Toothfiary shed several tears over this note because she is only 6 years old and should not have to worry about things like this? So the toothfairy left her a note back to try and calm her fears and when she saw the not she refused to read it in front of anybody, she did not want anybody to know what she had written to the toothfairy. She hid the note and when we finally told her to go and read it she read it and started to cry. Then came running and gave me a huge hug and told me how scared she got those times I had to go to the hospital. Little does she know I was just as scared probably more so and all I could think of was her and her big brother and that I had to be ok and get well to be around to be their mommy.
What a difference between a few years ago when her big brother tried to extort $15.00 out of the toothfairy by leaving a note saying either leave $15.00 or don't take the tooth. HA HA HA!

Easter Weekend!!!!

Saturday is our Annual Family Easter Egg Hunt with the Family and Carol's family this year since Kenny and Carol moved to Woodland and the weather has been crazy we had to hold the Easter Egg Hunt indoors. So the rule for my kids was they had to only get Eggs that are from the waist up so the little kids could get the easier one's. Laken worked her magic and got cousin Mike to pick her up to get eggs from up high and also was so proud when she found the one Egg that Uncle Kenny was sure nobody would find. Cousin Mike Lifting Laken up to get Eggs Laken showing Uncle Kenny she found his sneaky egg I got to spend time dealing with my baby hunger by hanging out with my 5th little "Great" Grace I think I have finally accepted the fact that I'm a "Great Aunt" although at times it still makes me feel a little old because I think of my Great Aunt Erma who was 90 something? But, I must admit with the amount of baby hunger I have been feeling lately it is so nice to have such cute great nieces and my little nephew to play with. Grace & Me Mason on the Deck proving that it was snowing outside. Some of my Favorite Little Girls Millie, Laken, & Grace One of my favorite hiding spots Grandpa Z's arm and Amelia and Great Grandma Sylvia laughing about it. (Carol's Grandma) Laken showing off her stash "Brookie" such a sweetheart love her she kept giving me hugs anytime I would just say her name :) Kate cracked me up she would find one egg pop it open and start eating it. She is my kind of girl! :) Parker finding eggs and decked out in his Hawaiian Outfit from Grandma & Grandpa. He told me he had to wear shorts and sunny stuff because later that day he was flying to sunny California to go to Disneyland. So Excited to hear him tell me all about his trip when he comes home. After our family outing I actually got the chance to have a girls night out which was well needed it has been too long. My Mom was able to get 4 free tickets to Hale Theater for a friend and family special they were having so I took my two friends from work Candice & Heidi and also my friend Jacque we saw the play Hasty Heart and I would highly recommend it I laughed so hard and the last half sobbed my eye's out. I'm glad I was not alone in crying but, there were alot of things in the play that reminded me of "Moo" not to mention the fact that they whole thing revolved around a guy talking about Scotland which is were she ended her life so I cried with the rest of the Audience but, probably for additional reasons, this is usually the time of year she is leaving Alaska and headed for another adventure and has several times spent Easter with us. I still miss her and hope she knows I love her dearly. Sunday Morning Easter Morning was so much fun the kids are always so thrilled with whatever they get I love them for that it doesn't matter what it is they are always so excited about every holiday. Mason also had to speak for the first time in Sacrament Meeting and had to speak on the true meaning of Easter. He did such a great job I was so proud of him. He is a much better public speaker than his mother is that is for dang sure.

Williamsen got Married!!!!!

My good friend Amy Williamsen got married I am so happy for her! We met up in Yellowstone, and have been friends since although we rarely get to hang out. The craziest part of her wedding is she ended up marrying a guy named Karl who I actually grew up with. His older sister was my age and his parents have actaully known my Mom and Dad since they were in college at BYU. It is such a small world! I find it really ironic what I wrote in my previous two post because of what happened at this reception. First, I was really grouchy getting ready to go to the reception and could not figure out why until I finally put my dress on. This was the first time going to a wedding solo I guess without a date or without being able to have my kids come along. Usually I'm alright with that at least I thought I was? Until I walked into a room filled with people that I only remember from my childhood especially people who at one point were some of my mother's best friends yet after my parents divorce they have stayed friends with my father and I watched as my mmother cried about losing her best friends even though she did nothing wrong? My father made some horrible choices yet people stood by his side and shun my mother? I will never understand that, especially since I too have had to experience it? I wandered around feeling lost wondering where to sit luckily an old neighbor nicely said I could sit with her family. And then her husband once he figured out who I was asked "So how is your Dad, does he still play poker every month with 'the guys'" My reply was your guess is as good as mine? Then the reply was "I'm pretty sure he does I see him over there often." GREAT! Just what I want to talk about my Father! So long story short final words to some of these people were if you see my father tell him his daughter said hello since you will probably see him before I will. Then I turned and saw how Happy my friend Amy was and smiled and gave her the biggest hug and told her how Happy I was for her. Timing on some things is a very strange thing.

Follow Up to what was missing.

After my last post of going off about losing friends through the divorce process I have been thinking alot about why that happens? I have a mother who lost several friends although she is the one who did nothing wrong in the marriage, yet jackass of a cheating father still gets to keep those friends? Other people I know have had the same problems women are frowned upon as if we did something wrong? Or maybe they think we may try and take there husband? NEWS FLASH LADIES sorry but, after going through a hellish marriage and ordeal the last thing in the world that we want at that moment is another Man. Someday I hope to figure out why it is that I lost such amazing friends through the process and why in the church people look at you like you did something wrong? When a majority of the time it was the Man who committed the sin. Oh well just another question I will have to ask the lord when I make it up there someday but, in the meantime if anybody reads this don't Judge others until you know what really was going on in there life. The old saying "Walk a mile in there shoes." trust me you don't want to walk in my old shoes.

Trying to figure out what is missing?

Over the weekend I spent an entire day cleaning out the craft room/what use to be Grandma Bullard's sewing room so I found alot of great finds as far as buttons,etc from her stuff. But, I also found all the paperwork,or evidence of the X craziness. Along with that I found piles of pictures the one's including him I could care less about it was the pictures of my old friends and old neighborhood that stung the most. The next day we had a baby blessing of my newest Great Niece (Mike & Mel's) #3 Grace Elizabeth she is so beautiful and yes I will admit I have been extremely baby hungry the past few months, but that is not even an option so I have to suck it up and deal with it but, it is fun that I get to hold newborn babies and play with all my little "Greats" I can't believe there are 5 of them already? Anyways on our way home from Provo Mason asked if we could drive past our old house in Lehi, He wanted to show it to Laken really bad, he had seen some of the pictures with me the previous day. As we drove through the neighborhood, Church was just getting out and Mason screams there is Michelle turn around lets go see them. I don't know why but, I said No I just couldn't do it? I have wracked my brain as to why I would not want to stop and see her and her family? And all I can come up with is that I didn't just loose a psycho husband I ended up losing a best friend, I lost my lifestyle, and I guess I felt like her family had already put up with so much drama from helping me get through those years of hell I guess I feel like I was doing them a favor by completely staying away from them so they too had no reminders of those horrific times? In the meantime I don't miss being married I just miss my old life I miss hanging out in a neighborhood of young families where the mom's would sit and visit and the kids all loved to play with each other. I miss seeing the smile and laughter on my kids faces as they raced around on their power wheel jeeps together. I wish somebody before he made the choices he made would have thought of all the things that he took away from his kids. :(