It is times like these i really miss friendly kitty

I just studied for 15 hours today. Simply because it was a day where classes were cancelled and I didn't have anything else on and simply becaue I really needed to catch up.

I'm very stressed and yet you still come and quarrel with me. I honestly don't get it. It was really the ultimatum. I just broke down and cried and cried tonight. I fucking hate this. Why must you quarrel with me now of all times?!? When i already exhausted my fucking brains and need to get some fucking sleep?!?!?!?!!!?!??!?!!??!!?

I really miss friendly kitty and i'm sure she misses me too. =( I'm so sorry friendly I cant be there for you. I hope you live a long long life and be there when i'm back in Singapore. I didnt mean to desert you but I can't bring you to Tassie because you'll probably freeze to death. You're so old already i'm so afraid you'll pass away before I come back. Please dont. Please please live to a ripe old age. You;re just like a sister to me. And I really can't bear to see you go. I pray for you every night and hope that you're safe and sound.

I haven't broke down in a long time and I guess today was the real deal that broke down my wall of fears. I know the paragraphs probably don't make sense and are not coherent together but i don't fucking care. No one reads this anyway and i'm happy the way it is that no one reads.

I'm writing this like how I used to write while im 16 and i dont give a fucking damn. Judge me all you want.


I really miss my friendly kitty and I wish I could hug her right now. I know that if she was here watching me cry she would know how to cuddle up to me and just sit next to me quietly listening to my sorrows.

Fucking sick of quarreling.
Fucking sick of discussing the fucking idea of marriage. Fucking sick of discussing stupid things and if they don't mean anything, den don;t fucking hell get married then! I dont give a damn!