you really didnt have to bring my hopes up just to let it down again.
This is not the first time it has happened to me and i know its not going to be the last. All i ask for is just one chance and u didnt have to bring my hopes up just like that.
i suck. i m lousy. i m stupid. why m i born like tt? Why cant i be naturally talented and smart like everyone else? Why is it that i have to put in 10 times the effort while ppl only put in once? why..
i really hate myself. i suck big time. i hate myself.
We went to Mango to shop (and no.. i did not spend any money at all.. coz i was shopping for vicki! not myself! its a great achievement ok!)
Then we spotted this fashion disaster dress.. omg.. as what vicki said " like hogwats (how to spell?) school students like tt" You know. the harry potter school...
HEres how it looks like...
Above: Vicki.. pretending to cast a magic spell? -.-""
Above: Me.. trying to act demure
Above: Hogwats school students! hahaha.. so crappy can the dress.. i wonder who is so stupid to buy it.
Anyway, went to vicki's house after that to hang out..
My nose damn big n white in the photos can.. =( haha..
it seems as though there is somewhat an invasion of privacy on my blog. i guess i need to change my blog add alr. but u noe.. it sucks coz ... i have been using this name for 3 years! got sentimental value alr ne! den now like tt.. haish.. wat a waste. what a pity. i really dun feel like changing blog. but it looks like i have no choice
okay. here it is.. i;ve got good and bad news to share with all of you!!
which one first? hehehe..
k la.. to cheer alll of you up since ure reading my blog(which means u must be bored)... let me tell all of you the good news first!
i UNEXPECTEDLY got into the Zouk Performance! its like.. OMG.. omg omg omg omg omgomgomgomgomgomg
yeah. that kind of OMG! i cant believe i actually got into it coz they only choose 8 dancers! gosh.. and i'm like one of the lousiest there. so.. i guess i was really lucky that melissa chose me. i have no idea why she chose me though. i also think this could mean that many people would be very unhappy that they were not selected and that i was selected instead of them. haish.. i also dunnu what to comment on that in that case because i'm such a lousy dancer and many people are bound to think that way. =(
nvm, i will work really hard for the performance! i'm really elated that i got into the zouk performance. zouk leh!! you know, i so totally dont mind standing at the back and perform. its alright one! as long as i get to perform! omg..
Ok. here comes the bad mood part. and the bad news part.
I went to collect hostel room keys today so that i can start moving in bit by bit soon. guess what? when i walked to the front of my supposed room door...
I SAW 6 PAIRS OF SLIPPERS LYING OUTSIDE THE DOOR..
Millions of thoughts went through my mind.
" omg.. could like.. 4 people be bunking in there right now?"
" gosh.. what if its like a couple staying inside and i open the door to find two people dunnu doing what?"
"what?! i'm not the first to move in? gosh.. i cant choose which side i wanna slp.. sobx"
"sian.. i cant believe i'm opening a door to a room filled with people.. strangers"
So yeah.. guess what? before i could open the door.. one girl came out.. this girl was not my roomie. she was bunking with my roomie.. so... its like.. MY SIDE OF THE ROOM WAS LIKE.. TOTALLY TAKEN UP?
I was shocked. stunned. i had nothing to say. i stayed rooted to the ground, speechless for a moment. omg.. and.. i really dont know what i'm going to do now. the new semester seems dark to me.
I'm going to stay with a stranger.. and.. someone whom we did not get on much good terms, instead, we were on bad terms even before we introduced ourselves. (and yes, i din even introduce myself to her.. and vice versa).. we started on such bad terms.. how good can anything get? omg.. haish..
i m so not looking forward to my coming semester. i dont know how i'm going to live man... i so hope to go home everyday!!!! =( and.. i have no friends in hall.. so.. i'm going to be a low lifer.. someone with no life at all.. everyday stay in hall and mug mug mug only.. omg.... omg.. omg.. =(
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OK. HERES A CHANCE TO MAKE MONEY. $10 A DAY. NOT THE WHOLE DAY. I ONLY ASK FOR 5 TO 10 MINS OF YOUR TIME EVERYDAY..
I NEED HELP TO FEED MY CAT FOR A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME.
ok.. the rates are negotiable. can range from $10 to $30 a day. i live in hougang kovan area. Interested parties kindly contact me at cat_hryn@hotmail.com
I'm going to be positive and happy over everything. Even though it is anything depressing.. i;m going to be an optimistic saggitarius and keep a positive outlook in life!
I've come to realise that all these while.. everyone is telling me the same thing. it really pays to be patient. Good things come last!
May luck come to me and i shall be blessed with a good life ahead of me!
Astrology for today - saturday
Connecting the dots today may take an extra moment or two. People are leaving out key pieces of information, and you will have to do whatever it takes to complete the picture. These folks aren't purposefully leaving you in the dark -- they just aren't as conscientious about communicating as you are. No worries -- the act of gathering more information from them will be fun. Plus, connecting the dots helps you get connected to other people, too.
eh? wth is tt supposed to mean?
Anyway, May i have a great weekend ahead and a great week ahead of me!
I'm so dreading school and moving into hostel. I seriously m dreading making friends and all. i hate it man. so fucking hate it.
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I dont know how to say it. but somehow.. i know it myself i'm heading in the wrong direction. all the wrong directions. i'm distracting myself with the wrong things. i use the wrong means to distract myself and this has made the situation worse. its like i'm going in circles in a vicious cycle.
Why do i keep doing such things knowing that i'm harming myself at the end of the day?
I need a break. i dont wish to recieve any sms to reply regarding whatever i m blogging about. you know who you are. please gimme a break. thanks.
I hate it when i read something and was so intrigued by it and guess what? they gave me a cliffhanger (is that the word to use to describe it?) Anyway, what i meant is..
http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyou.htm
Go read.
Its a local love story written by a local writer. its very touching.. yeah. i almost cried. =x..
Some of you might think that the things inside and the things said are cliche. but hey! read it all the way from the start and you can feel the emotions building up.
The bad thing about it is.....
They ended with... If you're interested to know the ending of the story, you can purchase the book on the Online Store. The book is not available at bookstores.
!!!?!?!?@#$#^#$%$%%*%@!#@!#%
but still.. read the story. really... bittersweet. i like that word. bittersweet.
Went to Reds at Bugis to cut my hair. I saw now reveal the name of my stylist. His name is Kelvin. -.-"" Ok. so ... i'm not sure how to comment on his cutting skills but he certainly has excellent customer service skills. Something a lot of hairstylist are lacking. He is very patient and he listens to everyone of your requests. Then, he would tell you his opinions then go about cutting. While cutting, he told me why he cuts in a certain way and how he is intending to take the next step. Also, he provided even better service by going on to tell me how i can style my hair next time and even gave me a brochure! so.. i think.. overall.. his customer service skills made my day.
As for hairstyle wise, i'm not sure how to comment though. Its not say fantastic and its not say very ugly (i hope!)I guess its not bad.. so so. Besides, i was asking for a total change of hairstyle while keeping long hair on.. So.. its kinda impossible to get a total change of look. Unlike in JC year one where i cut my long rebonded locks to get the really short messy out of bed hair look, this time, i decided to be smart and keep my hair long.
So, if i had to keep my hair long, its actually quite hard to change the hairstyle and at the same time try to keep the curls because the curls are quite a pity to snip away.
Dad said " STILL LOOK THE SAME WHAT"
This left me fuming mad. thats exactly the last thing i want to hear! yeah. ok. for those who know me well, you know what kind of person i m. i like to hear things i like to hear. hahaha. i.e. praises, good things, etc etc. i hate to hear things like "youre ugly!" "your hairstyle sucks man!" "ure fat!"
Yeah. i mean.. yeah. i like lies. cannot is it? haha.. mum says thats a very bad thing and went on to say that i would be cheated easily by guys next time because they know i only want to hear good things and they will use them to bluff me and cheat me. haha.. yeah i know la. So, as much as i like to hear good things, i prefer frank comments very much at the end of the day. BUT... my dad wasnt being frank lor! The moment i heard him tell me that there wasnt a change in hairstyle, i went "WTF!" in my mind. of course, i did not say it out. hahaha.. if not i would not be here typing now.
But the thing is.. when i curled my hair, he also said my hair no difference lor! the only time he said i actuallly looked different was when i snipped off those long locks for a really short haircut!!! so... his comments cannot be trusted! BLEAH..
N on whether i like my hair or not.. i'm not sure leh.. i have to wait and listen to other ppl's comments first before i say anything. because... i need to judge how nice my hair is from people's comments.
Anyway, i spent 3 to 4 hours of waiting time.. from 230 to 530 waiting to go to Toni & Guy's for my hair dye. The girl, Xiao Hui, helped me to dye my hair.. oh yah.. everyone .. its free. so.. if you're looking to dye your hair for free.. lemme noe. she is providing this only for these 3 weeks.. after that, you miss your chance. She is not bad btw.
She's nt really a student per se. She has already graduated.. but she's on a fast track course where she gets to be a trainer after that. So, i think she's quite zai. unfortunately, she did not have time to highlight my hair for me. Though, she says i can come back another day. Which, i think i probably would. Because, just one colour makes cathryn a boring girl yeah? hahaha.. Upon recommendation by Kelvin, the hairstylist, i dyed my whole head mahogany. He said my light brown at the base of my hair has made my hair look really dry when it is already dry. sooooo... he offered mahogany as it would provide a richer texture to the hair colour.
I think the colour is not bad.BUT.. i feel like doing highlight leh. anyway, free one.. that.. would have to wait until i hear the comments from my beloved friends before i decide. because this time.. i really have no opinion. And the worse thing is.. i dont even know what i feel about my own hair. I dont feel good. Neither do i feel bad. is this feeling good or bad?
Perhaps i have to wait for more opinions before saying anything. haish.. i'm such a ... opinions person. -.-""
So.. heres the new hairstyle..thing is.. SHOULD I HIGHLIGHT MY HAIR?
I've yet another friend experiencing trauma. Til date, there are two experiencing sort of about the same feeling. Relationship issues. =(
One thing good about being single is the lack of relationship issues to deal with. That, is why one thing bad about being attached is that you have unnecessary relationship issues to deal with.
Then again, we can also say that its because of all these issues that make you both a stronger couple. Of course standing as an outsider with a passer by point of view, i would have my own opinions on how they ought to govern their own relationship and what they should do. Friends who come to me for advice expect only perhaps the harshest words and the most direct comments. I hate giving fake comments or should i say, "politically correct " statements like.. "if you **** him den you will give up everything rite?" no.. the **** doesnt start with a F. It starts with a L. But why do i put ****. Because whenever i mention that **** word.. people will either start denying their **** or start bawling their eyes out. i'm not sure why. but its tested and proven. IT seems to be that the word **** has become a taboo for these people.
However, i also realise that many of these friends have the same bad habits. And i probably belong to one of them too. In fact, no one i know does not belong to that category. At least, i have yet to meet anyone in that category yet. What category you would probably be asking?
Well, its the category called "i-like-to-ask-my-friends-for-advice-but-i-will-only-listen-to-my-own".
Who does not belong to this category? Hands up! i bet none of you will put up your hands. Then again, those who did, are probably lying. Perhaps one of out ten times you will listen to your friend. the rest of the times, you have actually probably made up your mind long ago and just want to hear "things" from your friend. in fact, anything.
So anyway, i'm really feeling very depressed for all these friends out there. However, a word of caution, should there be anytime you are going into depression.. please do not go into it alone. Being depressed alone is probably the most terrible thing on earth. At least, if you have a friend who is depressed along with you, you wont feel alone in this world and would definitely not resort to silly things.
People who know me would probably know i've definitely been depressed before and there was probably once where i was at my lowest. So, dont think i;m actually ya ya papaya k.. been there. done that. i'm ashamed to say.
And so, i definitely understand how it feels to be depressed by yourself. only having yourself to fend against all the evils.
Never worry again because Cathryn is here! =) Yes.. that sounds really corny but.. dear friends.. dont keep them all to yourself. its best to open yourself up to someone and if you ever do need someone to talk to.. you can always come to me. no matter how close/ distant we are, i'll be there. =)
*yeah.. heartwarming statement hor? hee.. k la.. i know its getting a little too much. but.. i really meant what i said*
And sometimes i find myself too frank and blunt. That i might have unintentionally hurt people without knowing. which... is really bad. the problem with me is probably that i would tell people how i feel about the situation when asked without accessing the consequences. And thus, this is something i need to improve about myself. Perhaps its time to say more PC(polically correct) statements and ask ambiguous questions. you may never know how much more can those statements do to help people without trying right?
It certainly does seem like a whole entire chunk of rubbish above.. so.. i';m not sure if anyone reading this actually understands wth i'm talking about. haha..
*yawnnn* time to sleep.. sian.. online not many people to chat with. everyone is in depression mode and no one wants to talk! =(
yes.. and so.. i;ve decided i'm going to be doing my hair on tuesday!
And.. i've decided on which hairstylist and which salon already. But then again, i was faced with yet another dilemma because there is some good reviews about this japanese guy who cuts at Jeric @ One Central.. actually two. one is called Eiji and another is called Yohei. Apparently, the Eiji guy charges from $50 plus onwards. and given my hair length... its impossible my hair will only cost $5o plus to cut.
Then, there were several good reviews about this Yohei guy.. and many people whom he had cut hair for also said that he is very good looking! =x hehehhee.. so of course.. who wouldnt want a good looking stylist to cut their hair for them? somemore.. its like.. this guy was from some japanese salon in japan (duh!) so he should be pretty up to date with the latest hair designs. Besides, it would be much better to have an eye candy to drool at while you are cutting your hair rite? m i rite? ehehehee..
For this guy.. yohei guy.. he costs $35 to $55. Given my hair length.. of course it would cost $55 rite? so i ask myself.. am i willing to spend $55 on a good looking guy? what if he turns out to be a himbo? (male version of a bimbo. i.e. good looking but no brains.. den cut my hair.. and it turns out to be freakin disgusting!) is it worth the money??
so in the end, i decided on another stylist. but guess what! she is soooo famous.../ popular... that.. her tues is already fully booked! OMG.. in the end.. i settled with yet another hairstylist who is supposedly not bad too.. i shall not reveal the name of this hairstylist until tues night when i come back with my fresh new haircut.. =x.. this is to keep the sacredness.. so that any good luck would not run away and any bad luck would not come to ruin my hairstyle..
the only question now is.. how much budget should i set aside for my hair? =x
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This national day is a very special one. IT would be held on a floating platform near cityhall area yeah? i guess it should be that one. but anyway, i was so sad that i did not get the national day tickets. then again, the chances of getting are really low. And now, i'm even sadder because my parents would not be around to celebrate national day with me!!! omg..
yeah.. its not like its my birthday or smt.. or some special occasion la.. but! i;ve never spent national day alone before!! so sad rite? when everyone is at home watching the NDP with their families.. guess what will i be doing? i will be either at home.. or worse.. in hostel.. where there is no tv.. and nothing.. probably staring into my lappie.. "enjoying" my first national day alone! arghhh...
not that i'm patriotic or something.. but its just sian lor..
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My auntie, uncle and cousins came to visit today.. With my cousin's new born baby, Darius. He is premature and so.. very very tiny.
So anyway, as alll of you know, i'm not very good with babies and stuff.. so.. i cant really give the usual.. "OMG! SO CUTE! " comments..
i very much prefer toddlers and 4 to 12 year olds. haha.. coz they talk non sense that comes out so funny.
like.." Teacher.. you wearing black n white today. look like panda." omg.. darn funny la.. yeah, n i din feel the least bit offended.
And so anyway,one of my cousins, the one who just gave birth was talking about how painful the birth process is.. its like.. if you have decided on giving birth through the natural birth method. and you try to squeeze squeeze squeeze and it doesnt come out... you have no choice but to resort to Caesarian rite?
Guess how much more you have to pay?
$6000...
Siao rite? what an outrageous amount of money.
But anyway, its not the money issue only la. but the thing is that.. the entire birth process.. from the point of fertilisation.. all the way to when the point where the baby meets the world.. omg.. the process is... terrifying. and this.. does not come from my personal experience of course.
I also see the same signs of sufffering from my colleague Elaine. So poor ting. one week,take so many days MC because her morning sickness is really bad and affecting her! And she is like only 3 mths plus pregnant! (oh.. n elaine if youre reading this.. take good care of yourself! and jiayou! i wanna see the baby when he/she comes out)
Then, i've been hearing all the talk by both married and unmarried people who come and tell me.. Dont think of even getting married! its just a piece of paper! its crap!
And so.. who do i choose to believe? haha.. i've only got myself to find out. Anyway, i'm only 20 and i'm already thinking like i'm 28?!?!
I better stop getting myself so worried over nothing.
I just caught Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix just now. it was alright. not bad but not fantabulous..
The thing that kept me excited actually, was the advertisements before the actual show. The trailers of the up and coming movies coming to a screeen near u!!
So anyway, these 2 shows were 881 (by Royston Tan) and Hairspray !!!!
881 is a musical sort of movie about these 2 aspiring getai singers! Gosh.. i totally dig local productions. And especially since i'm a CS student.. i should be proud of our local movie makers and show my support yeah? the trailer showed some pretty interesting stuff with all the singaporean jokes, not the jack neo kind though. haha..
And hairspray! its actually a musical. But NOW!! they have converted it into a movie! just like other similar musicals like Phantom of the Opera, Singing in the Rain, Moulin Rouge, just to name a few famous ones. Hairspray is sooo damn old-school. Its set in a sort of college or high school setting with all the long long ago famous haircuts like the curry pok hair (haha.. the kind where the girls have shoulder length hair with their fringes really popping out tat kind.. ) and all the retro dresses! gosh.. i can tell its going to be a really good movie! cant wait for it to be out!!!
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ok. i'm dyeing my hair on tuesday. but i need to cut my hair before that. AND i have a hard time making choice on where and whom should i let to cut my hair.. haish. =(
I must admit i have been pretty busy and pretty free during this holidays. Everything seems to be in extremes for me during this 3 month long holiday.
There can be times when i'm totally bogged down with activities and times when i'm totally free and slacking. It is amazing how my holidays this time can go up and down like a ... erm... cant think of a phrase now. hahaha..
* you see.. pardon me for my sudden simplicity in description. my mind is switched back into primary school mode and i'm marking some terribly funny primary school essay scripts which really make me feel like killing myself. omg. seriously.. they are really funny. let me give you one example : " My father say that his boss has been missing for a week. one day, i was walking along the road and i saw a head on the floor. i thought the head was a died head. so, i went to take a look and found it. I realised that the head was not a died one. i went to talk to the person and ask him if he was a boss. he says yes he is the boss. i call my father and tell him i found his boss.my father then came and help his boss out of the hole. "
hahaha.. omg.. chui. please tell me.. how do i mark something like this?
Anyway, i derailed. I was saying that my whole holidays this time around is indeed in a mess. gosh. There were so many things i had set out and promised some people that i would do.. but in the end.. i accomplished few.
This includes one very important task my mum has assigned me since.. eons ago. CLEANING MY ROOM. gosh. the thought of cleaning my room totally disgusts me becasue i just cannot set myself to do it. first, everything i need is "there!" so its like.. despite all the messiness around me... i can find absolutely anything i want. The only thing is that.. it is indeed like a dog's den or worse. And after years of procrastination, i m procrastinating again. I dont know when am i ever going to start on it. This actually provides my mum with a very valid reason to quarrel with me everyday. haish..
So anyway, i was saying that it is damn sian. ok. i'm off with crapping again. my mind has just drifted off to yet another funny composition i was marking.
There is one thing i like and hate about holidays. its so ironic. It seems to me that during this holidays, i have kept in contact and met up with most friends that i do not normally meet on a school day. and at the same time, i did not meet up with many friends that i would meet on a normal school day. you get what i mean? arghh.. my english is deproving.. thanks to those essays.
And no, i'm not looking forward to the start of school. I;ve become anti-social. I seem to have lost the interest to socialise around since the start of the new year. And thus explaining the lack of interest and withdrawal from any orientation camps. While friends are busy attending camps of sorts, i;m just slacking at home or busy at dance practice. All these shallowness all these camp cheers and all that stupid egg-yolk-and-flour-in-your-hair activities... i suddenly feel a strong reluctance in me to actually even bother about them. omg.. this is seriously a piece of crap entry. please stop reading.
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Some pics from YMCA outing..
Above: Cecilia and Yc..
Above: the ever photogenic ting ting
Above: Cecilia
Abve: our dinner at chomp chomp..
Above: the most beautiful cat in the world. friendly...
i'm sure many people would have now come to know about the recent spate of incidents that xiaxue created by naming the top 7 most disgusting bloggers. This was how steven lim reacted. omg.. damn funny. i cant believe he proved xiaxue right just by doing that video..
I know i've been sharing many videos on my blog lately. BUT THIS... THE ONE BELOW.. THE LINK BELOW.. is DAMN DISGUSTING. I COULDNT SIT THROUGH THE WHOLE VIDEO.
Alyssa told me about this video and so... i watched and i felt.. damn turned off.. gosh.. i cant believe they actually do documentaries like this.
Title: a girls' guide to 21st century sex.
*warning: do not click on it and watch if you feel uncomfortable with naked bodies and explicit content. its wayyy too explicit. OMG..
Yes. why the hell am i bloggin like so many times a day?
i'm damn bored. not only that. i'm damn pissed.
Ok. first. i think i m getting smokers cough. haha.. i have no idea why but i think so. Nope. no one in my family smokes. neither do i. but i think its gotten from the heavy inhalation of smoke from cineleisure by standing there for 6 hrs for 4 days.. constanting inhaling all that passive smoke while gulping in more when trying to speak louder to fight the loud blaring speakers playing songs people do not want to hear.
wth. i think my lungs are black. =( I HATE SMOKERS... ARGHHH.. if i die tml.. its all u smokers fault.
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Another reason i'm darn pissed is because there are people around who do not admit they have faulted. then.. i seem to get all the blame.. AGAIN. haish..but how? i cant do anything. i m in no position to say anything..
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And anyway, i think i'm going to start blogging less because i'm going to come online much less often from now onwards if not it will be very detrimental for my health. my eyes are like damn pain and i dunnu why la. arghh..
Prob going to focus on more personal development. haha.. like what? i'll think about it and let u guys noe again. =x
ohh.. here are some pictures from sentosa the songs of the sea tingie.. some are quite nicely taken.. okok. credits go to Derrick.. who says tt he holds the copyright to these photos.. -.-""
Sentosa when its brighter.. somehow.. i prefer it at night
Sun setting
Above: The set of the Songs of the Sea.. picture taken until very blur... =x
I just read this article on ST Life! talking about the next up and coming action hero.. as in.. hongkong action hero. They labelled Jaycee Chan or Nicholas Tse.
Comeon la.. of coz its nic tse can! he is like so good looking. but anyway, i never felt Jackie Chan was some action hero guy.. to me.. he felt to me more like someone who likes to do stunts and makes his movies entertainingly action packed and thats all.. bleah.. i dont like jackie chan. but i have his nose (yah. no link. very random)
Except for a few mistakes.. we were inappropriately dressed for the weather. haha.. other than that, it was kinda fun. not sure about u la. haha.. for me at least.
Went to Sentosa today.. Went to try out the 4D magix motion simulation ride.. paid like.. erm.. $16 for it! per person. it was sooo expensive.. and in my opinion.. the thrill certainly did not meet up to the money spent.. it was so so... not that good of a standard.. the "car" just rocked from side to side.. alright alright only lor..besides, it only lasted for 20mins..
However, the Sounds of the Sea, musical fountain and lightings tingie was not bad.. n its quite worth the money. only $6 leh.. den you can watch for about half an hour.. so much more worth it than the $16 one. okok.. i think i'm beginning to sound very aunty rite? haha.. anyway, the starting part of the show was a bit cliche.. with all the singing of national songs like chan mali chan and the indian song which starts with "muneru valiba.. muneru indrum.. blah..." yeah.. but after a while when the show warmed up.. the lazer lightings coupled with the water display was good.. The "fireworks" at the end was also quite refreshing.. i somehow felt as though i was transported back into national day or smt. haha..
We were all like counting down to the time where they can tell us to pack up and go home.. finally...
We then proceeded on to have a subway dinner ...
Anyway, we had 24/04 class gathering at Suki Sushi today. haish.. i spent a bomb on the sushi buffet.. now.. i'm broke once again.. The rest then proceeded on to watch Harry Potter!!HARRY POTTER LEH...... but i couldnt.. coz i had to work! and their show as at 5pm!!! sobx... i wanna watch harry harry tooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............................................................................
i feel as though i have just completed running a triathlon. I had 3 "costume" changing sessions today. First, at 930am i was at NTU for dance prac. Then, i rushed down to teach CW and then.. i went over to cineleisure for the Nebo Roadshow and proceeded on to stand for about 6 hours with myself talking non-stop.
Right now, i am at my last stage of the day, waiting for my hair to dry before i finally finish this last lap of the race and can drop dead and rest in peace. haha..
So basically, i rushed throughout my whole day without having any time to think through properly whats actually going on.
Lady luck was not smiling at me again today. I think its just because i have an unapproachable face. Damn sad rite? Or should i say... i dont have the "buy - a - nebo- card-today" face. My face reads "shoo... stay-away-from-me-even-though-i-m-smiling-at-you-with-a-flyer".
Some people are just simply rude. they walk away, trying to avoid eye contact with you. Then again, how can we blame them when we actually do so unknowingly and in our subconscious sometimes. It has became an instinctive mechanism for many of us to avoid and run away from roadshow promoters and sales people. There is no one else to blame but ourselves. Nevertheless, there are still nice people around in the world who would bother to stop and spare a few minutes to listen. Its really sweet of all of you.
After talking to sooo many people, everyone is watching harry potter.. or as one friend calls it.. hairy porter. Wah.. ok.. hopefully i can get the dvd or smt. haha.. yeah. coz i'm cheapo n i'm broke. happy? hahaha.. laugh lor .laugh. dont let me know can already. haha.. haish.. some stupid idiot say wanna watch "the blossoming of maximo oliveros" with me..then what happen? huh? what happen.. ? haha..
=(
kk.. i;m shagged. damn tired after a hard day's work.. earning a measly pay.. poor me. come, take a pity on me and donate me some money yeah.. poor me...hahaha.. =(
We had dance prac today for the performance for Freshmen/ Zouk. Melissa was telling us about this hip hop documentary calleed Rize.. For hip hop dance lovers out there.. esp those who are interested in krumping and clowning... omg.. u should take a look at this video.. it is towards the end part.. the 3 mins plus later then you will see the battle between the clowns and the krumps.. and i think.. the clowns are much better because they seem to have more variety in styles as compared to the krumps. besides, the clowns also krump quite a bit..
But the krumps are very smart.. they use a little kid to krump as their final resort. haha.. This reminds me of danceworks where some teams use children to create that "sympathy" and "oh-so-cute" kind of effect to gain more judge appeal..
Then again, who am i to comment?
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My brain is really saturated with dance steps.. i have currently 3 dances to remember.. to add on to it.. i have one last one which i have yet to learn.. and.. pat's finale item.. =(
I'm really suffering from Short Term Memory!! i cant rmb dance steps.. i really cannot.. how? how? how? =( HELP!!!
Today, we just did like 2 mins worth of choreography.. and none of us can really recall exactly what was taught to us.. 2 mins leh.. its damn a lot la.. do until wanna die.. =(
Heya! i'm home today.. getting my much needed rest. Lovina asked me to temp at Templeton again but luckily, i rejected if not i will be so tired everyday.
Anyway, i'm here to do a mini promotion on my blog.. for those who read my blog that is, whoever you are.
NTU MJ Dancetitute dance concert! Happening on the 25 or 26th of August.. at NTU School of Art Design and Media Auditorium..
Tickets are priced at $12 each, free seating too..
Book from me ok! i'm sure if you read my blog, you have my no. or at least my email.. haha.. if not, then you are probably a passerby and you would not be interested in watching it yeah..
i'm super free this week! i only have dance on thursday! how cool is that! haha..
anyway, just went out with YMCA today.. We went to swenson's to eat.. and then to starbucks to talk talk talk and talk.. and finally, to chomp chomp to eat again.. haha.. basically, it was a great time getting together to just chill out and talk.. =)we took some pics too.. will post them out when they are uploaded.. we talked until use too much voice and brain liao.. haha.. tired.. shag..
But i think i ate a bit too much? haish.. this means more running to do to lose weight!
Anyway, so sad la i din get the ndp tickets.. i wanna watch! =(
I was reading Straits Times Life! today during breakfast when i saw this article talking about Victor Khoo and his puppets. I'm not sure if i have mentioned it before in my blog but i used to be a fan of his. Right now, thinking back, i feel that he is very much "old school" haha..
I'm not very much in touch with the primary school world now but i would be and have to immerse in their culture soon. Anyway, i was saying about Victor Khoo and his puppets. i remember when i was younger, that my parents used to bring me to watch his shows. We would also be invited to company dinners where he would be the special guest of the day. I was always amazed at how his puppets could talk when i was a little girl. Not that i believed that his puppets could come alive .. -.-"" but from the fact that he was so well trained to be able to speak with his mouth close as well as speak with another voice and make a non-living thing come alive for that few moments on stage.
Now, i seemed to have developed a phobia for dolls and puppets for i dont know what reason. Clowns, especially too. However, there is always this bitter sweet feeling that all of us get when we reminisce about the past. The flashbacks and the good old times where we wore anything from a bear pajamas (as in literally- where u have the ears on the top of your head and those pants where u can fit your feet in) to the frilly dresses that your aunties love to dress you up in when you go shopping. Then there were also the funny hair bands with cute little accessories stuck to it as well as the ugly round gold rimmed glasses made of plastic (because you were a kid and kids cannot handle glass well) that you had to wear because your eyesight was bad due to reading Enid Blyton on your bedside before sleeping.
If i do not remember wrongly, i sat on Victor Khoo's lap before. I remember vaguely that it was probably during one of my mum's company functions where he came to perform for us. As usual for audience participation, he would ask children to volunteer and play with his puppet, charlee( spelling as copied from ST) .I remember my parents were always the "encouraging" ones who would say " go! go! go n volunteer and be on stage to play! maybe got prize to get!!"
The usual greedy and attention hungry me would always rush up stage to volunteer , many kids soon follow. When you're that age, its always monkey see, monkey do. So anyway, i even remember some of the games i played. The most memorable one being, the longest tongue contest. This is damn funny la. i'm sure i told some of my friends about it. Its so easy to win the longest tongue contest you see. and yes, from the way i m typing it in this entry, you can probably guess who was the winner of the longest tongue contest.
Basically, all you had to do was to stick out your tongue for the host to see and they will then compare everyone's tongue to see whose was the longest. And as you can see, kids being kids, yes, we are playful but when it comes to sticking out our tongue in front of hundred over people, we would definitely be shy. My parents were sitting at the front at that time and my dad was probably somewhere nearer, taking a videocam or camera in one hand and waving at me in encouragement with the other. And so, when it was " one.... two.... three.. stick out your tongue!!!" All the kids just open their mouth to show their tongue while bold (and stupid) me stuck it out all the way! As much as i can! haha..
And thats why i say, as kids, we should always do things that are embarrassing or stupid because it is such incidents that would remain in our memories forever.
Why am i talking about kids all of a sudden? you might probably be thinking.. what? at the age of 19 going on 20.. your biological clock is already ticking???!?!?!
NO. i'm not thinking of having children.. -.-"" i;m like how old only! But i've been tasked to immerse myself in the kids culture and understand them better before i can take any step forward. you see, i'm teaching primary school kids creative writing and i have to bridge the age gap and language barrier between us before we can actually get started on anything. As such, i must be a child once again and play like a child once again in order to actually know what is going through their minds.
I must get my "one fine sunday morning", "tears rolled down her cheeks", " suddenly, a cat appeared out of nowhere" state back into me again. I'm sure all of you remember writing essays with such common phrases. I'll accumulate more in time to come while marking those children's scripts. In the meantime, it is back to playtime and i have to learn how to be a kid once again.
Roadshow was not bad today with quite good response despite it being sunday. At least this time, i got more people to sign up with me! i guess its really true that only when one is optimistic, things will turn out right! In CS, we learnt a theory.. which i cant rmb.. about thinking that you're successful and then you will really be successful.
Anyway, whatever it is, the happy and optimistic cathryn is back again! i love this week the most coz its my most slack week out of my whole holidays!! i have nothing much on and i m so looking forward to slacking! weee!!!!!
This is the first time, i wake up.. to see my eyelids swell to more than 3cm. omg. i still have to go do the roadshow later.. i dont know how to hell i m going there with such swollen eyelids. fuck.
I dont want to go to the roadshow later coz it is such a fucking stupid job with fucking stupid people who are so damn boring and no life. The best thing to do there is to people watch. There are just so many pretty girls and cute guys that frequent cineleisure. People watching makes the job a whole lot easier.
In the meantime, i feel like going down to the supermarket to get lots of chocolate to eat. i have a sudden craving for chocolate. but no.. i cant. i cannot eat. if not i will grow even fatter when i m so fat alr. =(
I just cant slim down and.. someone has just proven my point rite. =( Thanks for waking me up to reality.
Perhaps you'll never read this. but thanks abel, for talking to me tonight. it feels good to know that at least someone actually notices what i'm turning into or falling into. this helps the depression much more. You hit the right spot on everything that you said.
i'm really touched because at least i know i have a friend that cares.
DO YOU KNOW THAT AMONG ALL YOUR COUSINS YOU ARE THE ONE THAT DISAPPOINTS ME THE MOST?
YOU ARE THE MOST DISRESPECTFUL AND YOU ARE SUCH A FAILURE
I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE YOU AS A DAUGHTER
I DONT THINK I CAN RELY ON YOU IN THE FUTURE
YOU ARE SO STUPID AND SUCH AN EMBARRASSMENT
I WANT TO SEND YOU FOR COUNSELING
Do you think i like to hear all these words? do you think it doesnt hurt me at all when you compare me with everyone else esp my cousins? Maybe i'm not as good as them, but do i deserve to be treated like this?
070707... it is such a good day for many things. i believe many people are probably getting married or should i say people would have definitely planned special celebrations for this happy and unique occasion. For me, i'm not even expecting anything. i did not ask for anything. all i want is my peace and not to fall into any worse luck anymore. but guess what 070707, you have just made my life worse. you like to play with my fate dont you? Dont you think i have endured enough bad incidents this year already? how many more must you give me? how many more must i suffer before i can finally get my peace?
You're breaking me down, youre wearing me out. you have caused me endless sleepless nights and now you're making my days worst. Please dont play with me anymore. Just let me rest. Just let me rest like a normal person instead of having to go through so much trauma everyday. ITs a different situation all the time. i feel like i'm playing a never ending game of life. It is as though i have to keep ascending in levels and everytime i ascend, i do not gain any sense of achievement, instead, it comes along with a greater sense of failure.
you know what makes me feel even worse? it makes me really sad when you see me this way. it hurts when you hurl abuses at me just like that. has it ever occured to you how much it has scarred me or does it just make you feel better to just shout at me this way ?
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i feel so pathetic and stupid and i have nobody to turn to. i really hate whats happening in my life right now. theres no point in trying to pack my schedule so much because at the end of the day, i still have to face all these stupid things.
i suck. i seriously suck big time. i'm a loser.
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i feel very unappreciated. i feel very useless. everywehre i go, i m useless. i'm just the fool. i';m just... another person . i'm just a passerby .i'm just a face that people will not ever remember.
i'm a person friends would never remember. a person friends would never ask out. a person no one will ever miss. i'm just someone with a presence no more than an ant.
Friends will never ever see me as an essential. perhaps i m but an accessory in their lives, someone you will talk to only when you need the help of that person. but not someone anyone will ever ask out or miss in any mundane situation.
dont worry. although i know all of you see me as such a person, i will still love all my friends and treasure them and treat them the way i wish to be treated despite the shit some people give me.
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i really dont know where to turn to. can someone please help me? i guess not.
i've just incredibly packed my weekends full without knowing. i have things to do from morning all the way to night, earning money at the same time and hopefully, i would be able to gain some enriching experience from the whole entire ting. and maybe, make new friends.
Other than that, updates are that i have quit my job at Capita Pte Ltd, with this friday being the last day while i have to go back for work for one day to help out with the invoicing and payroll.
Basically, my horoscope says.. my life would be taking a turn for the better in july. In terms of romance and luck. Luck as in any kind of luck. money luck, studying luck, everyting.
But it seems as though nothing is taking a turn for the better and in fact could be heading towards the wrong direction. I'm meeting the wrong people in all the wrong places, doing the wrong things at the wrong time, buying wrong stuff at the wrong shopping areas, etc etc etc.
Everything just seems so depressing and nothing is ever going to make anything right. m i doomed to spend my 2007 lonely and bored? =(
Anyway, i went clubbing with 12 MJ people yesterday at Zouk. The Zesture Boys decided to club that day. How rare of them to club coz the guys seldom club de. its the Unravel girls that go all the time. haha.. However, it was good old friendly fun where everyone gathered and danced together. Some of the guys were damn "sehhh" (as in drunk) they keep messing our hair. -.-""
Then i went to look for ai ting and cecilia as i also promised to go with them...
Anyway, does anyone want to catch "The King & I" with me? Really wanna watch it!! if you do, please... lemme noe kk? yeah. i noe its not as cheap as a movie ticket and all.. but.. hey! i think the set would be gorgeous.. the costumes, etc.
the special guest this time was some guy called " fang da tong"
i dun listen to chinese songs.. so i dunnu who the hell is that..
But whatever it is.. this guy.. has absolutely ZERO STAGE PRESENCE.
Terrible..!
The moment he got into the TV Theatre.. he came across as a scrawny tall fella who lacked confidence and could not keep a good posture when singing.
His dressing was... so.. off!! he was wearing some t shirt with a black jacket.. he was wearing black rimmed glasses.. -.-"" u think what? act NS man ahhh!! hahaha..
alright.. i shld not be so critical..but the ting is.. compare him to the dancers competing.. he was really terrible.. and some of them are as young as perhaps 15? or 16? n he is like.. reaching his 30s?
His singing isnt very good either.. lack of volume and clarity.. terrible..
For fans of this da tong guy out there.. really sorry if i offended your idol. but seriously, if ure looking for an idol in him? i see absolutely no quality thats admirable .
