Finally got my pay after a long long wait.

I've been spending more than what i'm earning.. and for that, i would start saving now. Also, i'm looking for any ad hoc or freelance job i can do to get my financial status back to where i was 2 mths ago.

Seriously, i need money. haha.. i've seriously been spending so much that i did not realise until i saw the bills and all. =(

**********************************

Anyway, went to watch Nancy Drew today. It was not bad. Though, i feel that it is very old school and all.. and the plot somehow comes across as very cliche? its very.. girl next door is very smart and finally saves the day kind of show. More like a feel good movie, though, not a very intelligent one, especially when you consider how she always manages to escape in the nick of time.

I guess if u have watched other shows like Prison Break then you would feeel that the plot is really very cliche and chick flick heroine kind of show.

Nonetheless, it makes you laugh and still makes one feel good despite its poor storyline.

I give it 2 n a half pop corns!

ok.. i hereby declare to anyone who reads my blog..

I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND MONEY ON SHOPPING ANYMORE UNTIL THE END OF THIS MONTH.

i keep spending and spending as though my money drops from the sky. =(

Just went to Mango and bought pants.. omg.. to think i bought 3 mango tops yesterday. i'm acting as though i m very rich.


But what to do? its retail therapy.

It sort of helps to relieve my depression so i wont feel so terrible.

I'm getting in a very weird mode these days... having terrible mood changes.. the sudden sadness .. whats wrong with me?

Something keeps running through my mind. i keep thinking about it. and i have absolutely no reason to think of it at all.. why den why? why do i keep thinking about it and not take any action?

I dunnu.

i hate this. i really hate this. i just cant stop thinking about it. n i cant sleep coz i keep thinking of it. =(

WOOHOOO!! this is sooo cool! i've travelled to 12% of countries in the world! wee!!

My next destination is.... Alaska! to see the ice bergs and the auroras! wee!!

my dad actually wanted to go there instead of Korea this time but due to some unforeseen circumstances and lack of foresight on our part.. we din go..

nvm! next yr! or the yr after next! thats my aim!! =)

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY AYUMI PICTURE? N BACKGROUND?!?!?!

What was meant to be a short trip out for breakfast ended up as another spending spree of $138..

i think i m spending more than i'm earning..!

yes, yes.. its bad.. but...!! after this.. when school starts.. i'm not going to get much chance to shop alr! coz i will be stuck in lonely island Pulau NTU.. soooo thats why i'm shopping so much now!
*yah. i know.. its just excuses*

Anyway, cant wait to go shopping again tomorrow.

Shopping therapy really helps.. it helps stressed working people like me who reach home at wee hours of the night everyday. The feeling of giving money and gaining nice stuff back is sooo good. haha.. it makes me feel really rich. though, deep down, i know that i'm burning a hole in my pocket.. or to be more exact... wallet..

i cant stop. i'm terribly addicted. =X

Song worm..

Have you ever had a song worm? its the kind of thing where the song keeps playing in your head?

Right now, the song.. Because of you.. by neyo (not kelly clarkson!) keeps playing in my head..

That song has been playing in my head since wednesday after dance prac where rizal was playing the song in the dance studio trying to choreo steps..

until now k. its thursday liao lehh!! n the song is still playing in my head! arghh..

Anyway, listening to that song also makes me feel like clubbing..

Gosh. for friends who have been in recent contact with me, would know that i want to cut down on clubbing and get rid of my clubbing habit..

Til date.. i have not clubbed for abt 3 weeks liao! jia you!

But before this three weeks... wahaha.. i clubbed every week.. =X nothing to be proud of. not good at all.. the last time i club was probably vesak day.

I hope to cut down on all the chionging. yes. this is like the dunnu what time i;ve been saying this alr. haha.. i really wanna cut down ..!! its really no good for health n all...

reputation also .. of course.

BUT u know ... its so clubbing music! n i really WANT TO CLUB.. i wanna die alr !! hahaha =X the music is so nice to dance to!!! ok.. i'm blasting it on my lappie.. cannot tahan liao..

=(

this is bad. i'm plunging yet again into depression. this month has had me experiencing massive mood changes, from ecstatic to total glum and misery.

happiness probably for my results and successful hall appeal.

Misery? all because of myself.

There are some things that one can do well without the need to be talented. One very good example would be studies. you dont need brains to do well in exams. you just need to be hardworking and studious. Talent only helps you to study less. but, you still need to study.

Thats why for me, i have to keep being hardworking. if i stop being hardworking, i will never ever get to where i want to be.

However, there are many things that depend on just talent.. and those.. i will never be able to succeed. i feel so pathetic.

short, fat, untalented, stupid.

=(

what made me think this way?

evidence. reality. cold painful facts of life. that i'm just not good enough. no matter how hard i try, people still see it as me slacking away, not bothering to do anything more. but no.. i'm really trying.. but i just cant get there and i dont seem to understand why.

help..

you know, a lot of people think i'm very free. but actually, i m very busy. i come back late almost every night ard 12ish to 1.

its just how i arrange my schedule and time so thats why people think i'm very free.

anyway, that was really random but it is just what i want to say. hehe.

***********************

These are a little outdated.. but... stil....

PICTURES FROM ALYSSA'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION






Regina and i shared to buy her a slice of cake... for her birthday. all these took place after dance prac.. so.. u can see.. we're all a lil' shagged.







all our eyes look very scary... i wonder why.


****************

Recently, there are many many movies out there... that i wanna watch!

There is..

Surf's up!
Black snake moan
the shu qi korean show
nancy drew

and many many more! anyone wanna watch? =)

i need to wake up.
i need to wake up from this.
This daze that i'm trapped in..
i really need to wake up from it.

i dont know why i cant wake up from it.
Perhaps i need someone to pull me out of it.

I know all these leads to no where..
yet, i still choose to stick to this daze
Where it tells me
i'm not going to get anywhere if i continue like this

Can i pull out of it in time?

Or m i going to just let myself fall deeper and deeper into this mess

This craziness
This stupidity
This weird sense of daze where i know i;m supposed to stop but i cant.


************************

No.. the above is not a poem. i cant write poems for god's sake. i'm a frigging science student.

just got scolded by boss for talking too much to Jin during work today. He also got warned by boss not to keep talking to me..

Reminds me of school days where school teachers warn students not to keep talking to each other..

i feel bad for talking.. i really do. because boss says this month is his confirmation month.. so.. if anything screws up for him.,. its my fault.

**************************

i feel so sick n tired of routine. can someone give me something new.. PLEASE.

i want something new.. i cant take it anymore. =(


**************************

Feel like breaking down and crying..yet.. there is no one out there..

ok. i agree. it wasnt the best, but it was a memorable one..

Went to national stadium to catch Incredibles . It was an outdoor movie screening.. apparently, it was part of a family day thing.. so.. they actually had like games and all that .. so we waited for like.. an hour plus before the movie started.. then.. the seats were dusty n uncomfortable. leg space was very much compromised and all.. i tink we would have rather stood up watching rather than sit down. haha..

Then... it started pouring... when we were at Geylang.. went for supper .. den i did not have any appetite left.. i guess the rain kinda dampened my mood a little.

Hmm.. yeah. just like tt.. definitely a memorable first time though.. haha.. i was eating supper, drenched.

yes.. did i say i m officially very very very broke? haha..

i celebrated so many people's birthday this month.. its so scary la.. if i count.. there is more than 10 ppl's birthday til date.. omg.. this holidays.. why are there so many people having birthdays? i'm dying.. =(

i'm very very very very broke! n none of the money is spent on myself! haha..

So, to sum things all up and to redo the whole entire entry that i dunnu for what reason just disappeared... here are some of the birthdays i celebrated for.

KENNY'S BIRTHDAY BBQ AT ISLAND COVE AT EAST COAST PARK

Kenny is my colleague at Capita. he is 23 this yr.. Really nice and friendly guy!


Above: Jin n his gf.. can u believe it? his gf is the same age as me.. but we're like so different?



Above: Zen playing mah jong with a bunch of dunnu whos..




Above: Adelle (colleague) in the foreground.. Jack, her bf, in the background.
Dont you think she looks like minnie mouse?



Above:Kenny's gf in the foreground..



Above: 2 couples.. and one extra.. haha..



Above: me, lovina, jin's gf.. and kenny (birthday boy)



Above: THE BOSSES.. sweet couple la.. they both wore pink! couple wear!



Above: Paedophile Zen trying to bully a "xiao mei mei".. Me pointing at him... for i dunnu what reason..



CAPITA!






Following Kenny's birthday party on saturday... was Zen's birthday dinner on Tuesday!

We all "pakak" with his gf and asked his gf to go with him to Swenson's for dinner.. Then.. we sneaked to Swenson's on our own and surprised him there!

Not sure whether he appeared touched or not.. but we're so sweet rite??



Above: Capita.. plus Kenny's gf.. haha.. while waiting for Zen n gf to appear!



Above: Zen has arrived.. n he managed a.... act cute pose.. -.-"" so old alr still act cute.. 26 liao lor! and. why is kenny smiling like tt?





Above: Zen and his look-a -like !! Paul Frank! dun u tink he looks like paul frank? hehe.. look closely at his foto..



Above: Zen n his gf



Above: Angel, me, victoria, francis



Above: so sweet n in bliss!



Above: Zen trying to tie a cherry knot.

n thats all for the pics.. the last time when i blogged abt this.. i typed so much more.. this is the seconde time coz the first one disappeared.. maybe because of my lousy wireless connection.. haha.. so........... too bad.. ! enjoy the pics of the many mei nus and shuai ges in my company!

i'm at Franklin Templeton investments ONCE AGAIN... doin shitty work.. =(

not happy there at all.. but guess wat ? this time.. there is at least a laptop here for me to play with! the other time.. the person did not give me the laptop to play with la!!! she should have lor..

Then after giving me the lap top.. she said\" i dunnu the id n the password.. "

i was like.... -.-"""

lucky for me, i managed to find the password.. at like only 11am. means,.. from 9ish to 11am.. i have been stoning. Luckily i was smart enough to get a magazine from Guardian before coming in. i'm amazed its actually open at such an early timing, especially for City Link. i hope i dun have to stay til the end of the day here again.. if not i will DIE.. i hate doing work that doesnt use the brain. i cant stand it.

u know, seeing so many people look for jobs.. i'm beginning to wonder if i will end up like them.. jobless becuase they have switched too many jobs over the years.. or jobless because they just dun have the skill that many jobs need. haish... i'm stil lazy to reblog all those pictures.. will do them when my mood is up again..

my mood was dampened yesterday evening when i called to ask for response.. =( it was.. BAD. i'm so sad.

This is so damn crap..! i just blogged a whole lot of things yestrday with a whole lot of pictures. guess what?!?! the whole damn ting is erased!

ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

this shows how screwed up my day was yesterday. damn sad. damn bad mood..

=(

not gonna til later. this whole year.. has been a hell of a shit for me. n the shit nv ends. wtf!

been waiting for some response from somewhere for quite a while but wtf.. no response. dunnu what i shld do.. shit man.. wtf!!!!!!!!

i feel like killing someone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean. no one in particular la.. just feel like killing people.

This shows the ill effects of the media. i have been immersing myself in Prison Break. now.. i'm becoming violent too. -.-"" anyone can rmb wat theory of media effect is tt?

i just read this news article on Straits Times Sunday on this old man who died when he was 105. his family threw a grand $20,000 funeral for him.

In the article, it also stated that he had many many grandchildren as well as great grandchildren and at the funeral these people were all colour coded by the generation.

It is seldom right now in Singapore that we see such heritage already. dont you tink? I'm not sure about the rest of you but from my observation, and of course by looking at the decreasing birth rate figures in Singapore (-.-""), we all know that families are getting smaller and smaller and it is rare to find such big families anymore.

Then kind of complementing this article is another article in Sunday times Life! section where it talks about these 2 girls, one already an adult, 21, while another is in pursuing her secondary school education are crazy about collecting friends. So instead of the usual hobbies like stamp collection (and i still dont understand why people like to collect used paper tt has pictures on them) , coin collection, and what not, these two girls collect friends.

I;m not sure why i'm blogging about this but i still wish to blog about it. hehe. To me, these two articles kind of complemented each other in such a way that both talk about numbers with relation to human headcount and figures.

To me, the former article stands out much more than some superficial youngsters trying to gauge their popularity by the number of friends they have in their database.

At the end of the day, these people in your online database are but just virtual beings who have real lifes out there and cant be bothered about you. What good it is to anyone to show that you have 10 000 friends out there, who cant even remember they have spoken with you or added you on their Friends' List ?

Not sure about what most of you might think, but i really think the latter news article is a piece of crap.

So i;m going to further comment on the former one which is much more worth my words.

For some of my closer friends, they may probably know that i hate going for family gatherings, reunion dinners and all those "social" events that my family organises. however, as much as i hate going for such events (coz i'm an only child and it really gets lonely at times when your cousins only mix amongst their own families) , i really treasure the big extended family that i have, because i know that amongst most of my friends, i have the biggest family.

It is pretty ironic because i come from a direct family with only 3 people, and yet, i m saying i have the biggest family amongst the rest of my friends who have like 4 or 5 ppl living under their same roof?

Reading that $20, 000 funeral article makes me remember that i have quite a strong family heritage and makes me kind of treasure them at times. for this, i would mean those that are from my dad's side. my mum's side, i decline to comment further as there isnt much to say. haha. not very close to them.

I'm not sure about most families in Singapore now and whether they have those huge family gatherings we can see in movies, or hong kong serials or something like those in the $20 , 000 funeral article. But when my family has a gathering, it is always many many many people. Why? because my grandmother has about 8 children who then married and had kids, totalling up to about 36 cousins and now, some of the cousins have children and thus, have some grandchildren.

So, one chinese new yr reunion dinner would consist of a pot luck party where every family would bring one type of dish and everyone would dig in like in buffets. Then when it comes to big formal dinners like my grandmother's birthday, it would be held in a separate function room in a restaurant. for example, one separate level specially for functions.. then there would be about 5 to 8 tables. all family members, some firends sometimes. but yeah.. i'm not sure about the rest but i certainly dont know many friends who have such huge concept of a family gathering anymore.

so thats why i say, at times, i really do treasure this big traditional family heritage and gathering thing that we have in our family. And so much said, it definitely take great effort to be able to maintain such a big family and we must credit the effort to the uncles and aunties of the family. They are the ones that are actually pulling everything together. without them, we youngsters would not put in the effort to come together. because, most of the time the reason for family gatherings is because these aunties and uncles want to get together to talk. haha.. we youngsters are there.. for the sake of being there.

And that's why i say.. theres really nothing to be proud of to belong to an online portal where you boast about your 10 000 friends. But its definitely something to be proud of when you belong to a family of a strong heritage that has about 50 people.

wah.. damn tired.

Just got back from Kenny's bday chalet cum bbq. but of course la, only went for the bbq. He is my colleague from Capita anyway.

Met up with Zen to go to the chalet.. den realised.. actually chey... island cove / resort is actually costa sands.. he should have said earlier den i no nid drop off so early and walk so much! arghhh! then met up with Jin and his gf.

We were there like so damn early when there wasnt really many people and not many from Capita have reached. only the four of us. so its like damn extra there initially. I felt so extra that i decided to take a nice long stroll alone along the East coast park beach area towards the seafood restaurants area. haha..

I then came across this really big pond where they have different water sports activities but i tink the main one is the cable skiing?its like damn cool.. so you dont have to rely on a boat to allow you to ski. instead, the cable is like though cable car kind.. and instead of the car, you hold onto some handle and off you go! the cable pulls you along to ski.. so cool la.

It was also while walking which gave me lots of reflection time where i could think about what being alone is really like and somehow i actually enjoyed walking alone in the park. haha..

But anyway, so i went back and there were more ppl from Capita there. so it wasnt lonely anymore. had a nt bad time at the party.. but i m damn angry with Zen n Jin. they keep bullying me!! arghh.. and thanks to them keep touching my face, i tink i m gonna have pimples soon. =(

I dont understand why. i dont understand why i just cant seem to shake off those excessive fats off those unwanted fatty areas.

I have already been skipping dinner due to dance and have been trying to cut down on my food intake. i exercise like... 4 times a week.. n .. i still cannot lose the weight.

Why? m i just born with those genes that keep generating fats or smt?

arghh..

****************

on a totally different note, i will not be going to Capita to work tomorrow. instead, i would be heading down into another investment asset management company to do some work. Seriously, i tink at the end of the day i will have so much experience with financial asset management companies that.. i should go study finance instead. haha.. this time..its not as a receptionist but as a sort of admin assistant that assists in doing up powerpoint slides. -.-""

i wonder how it would be like tomorrow. hopefully, i get to access the internet and like... go on msn or smt.. if not.. time there would be so boring and lonely. worse.. i have to also lunch myself ( i tink). obviously i wont know anyone there.. sian.......

Have you ever believed in Straits Time Horoscopes?

I never really did. i only looked to them as an entertainment.

not until.. TODAY.

It is so scary. go look at yours and see if it really is true.

For mine, it said that i have to seek advice or smt.. from someone who sounded the alarm. ok. this part doesnt make much sense.
And then it goes on to say that... i have made a mistake and it is now time for me to account for that mistake and do some damage control.

gosh.

and to think that i was reading the straits time thinking nothing much about it... until... i saw an sms coming from a friend and then i knew.. SHIT. i committed a grave mistake.. just by saying a line of stupid words in drunken stupor.

I guess its now time for me to do some damage control really. but.. to whom should i seek advice? that i really dont know.. esp.. i dont even know if anyone actually sounded the alarm.

*****************************************************

Meanwhile, many relationships are not very stable at this moment for a lot of people i know. whats this? is this the season for quarrels?

This makes me all the more skeptical about getting attached and preferring to remain single.

Single life = no commitments and a hell lot of fun with your friends and family.
Though sometimes you will feel lonely.

Attached life = commitment.. and quarrels quarrels quarrels. no time to spend with friends and family.

haha. i really wonder how are some of my friends doing right now. with that, i mean those who willingly gave up their friends and forgot all about them and only wanted to spend time with their whoevers. is it really worth it?

End of the day, when you all break up (and i m not here to curse anyone), u end up with no friends. isnt that really sad?

****************************************

fuck la. damn fucking pissed with my mum. wtf. i just went to make an urgent call in my room with my cat outside a while and she gets damn fucking pissed. wtf.

is my whole month of june going to be so jinxed with all these worries?

it seems like it. =(

heya... i just shopped AGAIN.. n i bought a top and a dress.. haha.. so cheap can the top. its only 10 freaking dollars can?

omg.

haha.. anyway, ANYONE WANTS TO WATCH "INFAMOUS" WITH ME?
hahaha.. yah. shit. i sound desperate.

i'm only going to ask once. bleah. if not i'm going to sound more desperate.

And no.. i'm not treating anybody. haha..

*************

ohhh.. and yes. i just called M1.. they said. i can only upgrade my handset after like many more months... if not.. i have to pay like $100. -.-""

sad.

i only used my plan for 11 mths! i still have plenty to go! sucks!

i really wanna change my hp to the Samsung Ultra Edition 10.9!!! anyone who is not interested in upgrading their handsets and doesnt mind letting me use their plan to upgrade a handset? hahaa.. i'm willing to pay u an extra $30 to $50 more... serious..

lemme noe? thanks..

After being in the recruitment line for a while.. i must say.. i really have some guidelines for people to look out for before they actually decide to write in to apply for a job. ok. i must admit..i m not a pro or anything. but being inside for quite a few months..i can feel what those consultants feel despite me working here a few months and them, a yr or so.

There are those candidates that really irritate people.. they have irritated me then, and they have irritated me now.

1. look carefully before applying for any job.

Please look carefully at the specifications.
When people say its a temp job on the advertisement, dont go n ask stupid questions like.. is it a permanent job.

When people say only Singaporeans or PR can apply, dont apply if you are not and are on social visit pass.

When people say need this particular software, dont come and say you can learn very fast. we dont care.

When people say you need to have at least 2 yrs of experience before you should consider applying, we mean it. We nv say fresh grads can apply.. den dun "ge kiang" (act smart)

When people say the salary range is e.g. $2000, and you are $1200 calibre.. dun "ge kiang" go n apply.


2. Stop calling recruitment agencies and asking us if we have received your resume. we dont call you because.. you are not suitable. stop thinking youre the only person who applied for a job den bug us that we die die have to on the spot open up your resume and see..

3. resume is pronounced as re - su- mei.. not.. re-sume.

4. If you cant even speak english and you insist on speaking mandarin when applying for a job.. how can you expect people to put you in for something that says" fluent in english and mandarin?"

ok.. people.. this is not meant to be like insulting or what. hope all of you dont mind.. its more of an advice.

because sometimes.. when you irritate consultants.. they get pissed.. they might not send you in for a job.

anyway,

5. put a more flattering picture of yourself.
i dont understand why some people put really bad shots of themselves.. its like.. selling themselves out. let's face it. employers are shallow too. before anything.. they go for looks.. they see if ure presentable or not. truth is.. no one wants to hire someone they cannot face, right?

and.. also, do not put multiple shots of yourself in your resume. one photo will do. a resume.. is not a portfolio for models. i came across several pictures where the girl put about 5 pictures of herself in different poses (mainly those act cute ones) . it was almost like.. a friendster profile. i was shocked. i was even more shocked when.. i realised i actually know some of these people.

6. do not be rude to the recruitment consultant. yes, we are making a living out of you. but look.. we are also providing a service to you. dont think because you;ve got qualifications etc and thus you become very big shot. we have more candidates who have better temper and we would rather place them in than place u into anywhere.

7. we are not stupid people. giving us millions of reasons daily like
- my child is sick
- i m down with sickness
- i last min got appt

all these stupid reasons ... we can tell one la..

when you dont want a job.. just say.. dont want. its alright, we wont hate you.
Just DONT
- ignore our calls. --> because it is very hard to answer to the clients when you suddenly go MIA
- slam down our phone halfway while talking
- ask us to wait wait wait. say.. you will get back to us but end up going missing for the rest of your life UNTIL WE USE A PRIVATE NUMBER TO CALL YOU then you miraculously appear again.

8. Emailing in is much better than walk-ins.
because.. when you email us, we have the soft copy of your resume , we can modify it faster. When you walk in.. we still have to wait for you to go home to send us your resume. so ma fan.
walking in also does not increase your employment opportunity.

9. when you apply for a job, pls ON YOUR HANDPHONES. whats the point of being uncontactable when you are actually applying for a job?!?!?!?! huh?!?!?!

the worst thing is.. some people actually put a wrong number on their resume. i dont understand why they have no idea of something called.. double checking ?

10. dont write in your cover letter .......

" Dear XX(as in name of consultant)

I m interested in the position of admin assistant as stated in your advertisement on jobstreet. I have been trying to look for a job for a very long time but i still cannot find one. I hope you can help me please as i have a family to feed. I m the sole breadwinner of the family and they depend on me. Please help me find a job."

I'm not mocking at people over here. Yes, i sympathize those that need to feed the family etc and we will definitely help you. BUT PLEASE.. why oh why... do you tell people this kind of things when applying for a job? hello.. in case you forget,. we are strangers.. what kind of impression would it give to people? it definitely did not give me a good impression.

Prove that ure worth the job by showing it in your resume.. not by "ku rou ji".
This is the ultimate. haha..


anyway, i've typed a lot alr.. haha..

and.. i'm super free for the weekends.. damn no life can.. =( so friends.. ask me out if ure free ok.. i wanna watch movie and gooo shoppiingggggg!!