but i really want to join!!!!!

=( i tot they say we can join one...

Give false hope only.. everytime also lidat... =(

joining Danceworks ( is tt hw u spell it?)

Dont even noe if still joining hall dance competition. maybe too lousy alr thats why they nv even inform us of any prac. well...


what to do ?


Face reality

ya. i took down the tagboard. no. i din change blog.

I just dont want the tag board there.

i cant remember my dance steps.. =(

problems not solved but i'm alright.

at least i feel good after drinking

i feel more relaxwed and less worried now about anything.

time to take it easy girl . time to take it ez.

i need eyes.. coz i lost one side of my contacts while at i dunnu where yesterday.

i'm damn sad

i lost one part of my fav necklace ( not really necklace but i dunnu what its called.)

i lost my favourite gold ribbon which i always like to wear!!!!

n i lost i dunnu. i cant rmb. when i can think of it i shall type again.

why did i lose so many things ? i din even go into zouk officially can. =(


not happy.


stupid live firing happening in hall. suddenly like thunder like tt. my whole door rattled! gosh

I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS.

I KNEW NEVER TO WISH ON XMAS AND THIS STILL HAPPENS. I KNEW NEVER TO WISH.

I WISHED ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. THE WISH IS ALWAYS OPPOSITE. I HATE THISS.

WHY MUST U DO THIS TO ME AND WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG CAN U TELL ME?!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!

I HATE BLOGGING BECAUSE U SUCK. I HATE THE WAY URE TREATING ME OK. I HATE IT.

n IF U THINK THIS IS ABT ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ... URE WRONG. OK? I ALWAYS TOT FOR U OK?

I HATE THIS.

I'M NOT BLOGGIN UNTIL I GET BETTER, N IF I DONT BLOG, YOU'LL NOE WHERE I HAVE GONE. THE PLACE U WANT ME TO GO.

oh man.. this is like my 3rd time bloggin in a day.

Guess not many people are reading my blog these days coz there a no tags! haha.. but its alright. i'm used to it alr.

Well, whatever it is, a blog is for me to type whatever i want and maybe next time when i grow old, i can come back and read again! haha...

*rolls eyes. whatever.

Dont feel like going back to hall tomorrow. sian sian. feel like staying at home.

I love home more than hall so much more man. home allows me to be myself. hall doesnt.

In hall, some people act the way they do because of ulterior motives. ya. i noe i sound childish here. but isnt this a fact?

Well, unfortunately, i m forced to be one of them as well and thus i would have to go back hall.. maybe on wednesday. haha..

Meanwhile, anyone wanna hang out or whatever, call me! hahahhahaa.. i'm desperate.. not.

Clickage

go play.. hahaa.. i'm SICK

Ho ho ho.. merry christmas!

haha.. due to some unforeseen circumstances, i m alone at home on xmas eve night and xmas day.

Just read Xiaxue's blog coz i was bored and had nothing to do. I agree with what she said hahaha.. amazingly.


I guess she is right that we hardly get to have a stable group of friends. But i guess that is why many of us treasure our families the most because they are the ones that are constant to us.

Whatever it is, this is one of my worst christmas ever. Because i have no one around to countdown with me at all but friendly, my dearest kitty.

My parents are up over at Genting while my bf is in his stupid camp. i dont know where my friends are and i have no contingency plan (is tt what it is called?)


Arghh...

Okok.. i shall stop my self-pitying antics. After having late nights out for the past few days .. n until xmas eve and xmas.. i have totally nothing on! omg. haish.., how sad hor? hehe


Arghh.,. okok.. i m damn bored and lonely. whoever is free.. pls ask me out ya?

Omg.. i'm THAT desperate.

*btw.. i'm using the new internet explorer browser and i really dont like it.

Retro week


Why?

I know people use the word retro to describe like the oldies of the 60s, 70s etc. but i shall use it to describe the times where i was younger. N because i m not very old anyway, so yeah.. its just a week for meeting many old friends.

I met so many old friends and classmates in just such a short period of time.

Met up with my bestie, yan pin, for a short dinner to exchange our long expired bday pressies. Thanks for the bday pressie. it was really nice and i love the pillow! =)

Then went for mambo at Zouk on wednesday with kah yan, jess, yc where i saw many people i have nt seen for a long time.
You cai, kar gea and jing yuan.

Had a short chat with them and realised how fast time flies. It was only a moment ago when we were still classmates and stuff. and now u realise, everyone has grown up and stuff.

It suddenly felt so different from before. I also realised it seemed much easier to talk to people now that we have all grown older. though.. i'm not sure if ppl do agree with me.

Then on thursday,met up with cecilia and aiting for a free movie. though din haf much time to catch up with them, but it certainly was enjoyable. though again, cecilia got us front seats!! imagine how u had to bend your head just to watch the screen!!!

Tonight there will be CG outing.i wonder how will it be.

I used to dread former class outings coz it always turned out bad for me. lets hope it will be fun!=)

i realised.. all these is so stupid after all.

People do not appreciate the hard work you put in when they are busy and are not able to take notice of you.
THEY only appreciate hard work when they need your help. So if you put in your personal hardwork, they dont give a fucking damn. They dont even say a fucking thank you.


***********

Fate is playing on our lives. My life and your life.

Fate juust push you around to any stupid place where there is hole. I hate how it plays on you when ure so strong yet everytime you put in effort, you still do not reap what you sow.
Instead, youre pushed down even further. It seems as though the more effort you put in, the more fate wants to play on you. Unlike others where they can just gain pleasures without any effort at al.

I hate it. I feel like crying for you all the time. becasue i hate the way god is playing on you. i really hate it.


My life. is smooth. but i keep making the wrong decisions. I dont know why i keep taking a wrong step, leaving myself heavily burdened with commitments i dont wish to bear. I hate those commitments. no one recognises my effort. everyone just copmplains just becuase i'm not visible when there are jobs that do not concern me at all.

I hate all of you when all of you treat me like this! i feel like going bck to jail everytime i go back. i hate it.

i hate al of you people when you all act like that!

i guess i was really stupid.


***********************

i cant wait for the weekend to come. then we can celebrate xmas together and forget about all the unhappy stuff that is happening in this world.


*************

I dread this entire week because i have to put on a mask and act as though im happy when i c all those stuff.


******************

I dread next week too becuase i have to plan like hell how to be smart.


*******************

i dread tomorrow, wednesday, thursday.

********************

I hate all those who think i m fat yet do not dare to tell me.

i hate S*F!!!!

Why must you play around with ppl's fate and just put ppl anywhere u like? give them anypay u like?? huh? screwed up place.


I hate it!!!!!


Anyway, sucks. Had fever for the past week, thus explaining my disappearance. Its not comfortable to write what i feel here becuase there could be eyes that betray.

i dun want to go somewhere but i fucking have to.

This is so crap.

I've learnt my lesson. i will be smart n nv repeat my mistakes.

Ok. do you believe in retribution?

After what has happened today, i do.

Early this morning, i went with my parents into Malaysia to attend one of my cousin, Ah Theng 's( i think her name is ting ting) wedding.

Morning was some buffet at her house while we looked at photos. In the afternoon, we went to the newly (not that new) opened Jusco to shop . Jusco is considerably big, with a size that can fight with Vivo City. My dad argues that Vivo city is smaller than Jusco, while my mum and i argue that Vivo is actualy much bigger than Jusco.

Jusco is somewhat comparable to vivo city in that it has lots of shops as well. Ranging from Singapore brand Breadtalk to overseas brands like Topshop, Kenny Rogers (hah.. i know they somewhat seem very random).

But one thing i must admit about Jusco is that it is much much more organised than Vivo City. Vivo city's restaurants are scattered all over the levels and areas of the shopping complex, unlike Jusco, where all the restaurants and boutiques are placed together in their sections neatly.
Also, the structure of Jusco makes it easier for a typical shopperto navigate him/herself through the shopping complex, unlike that of vivo city where there are high chances of getting lost as well as taking almost 10 minutes just to look for a directory with alll the shop names on it.


However, overall, i still prefer Vivocity because of the type of shops there and the feeling it gives me.

Anyway, i derailed. I was supposed to talk about retribution.

So in the evening, we went to PXXXXRestaurant for Wedding Dinner. Yeah.. you might think tat the restruant must be damn fucking high class that kind right?

NO. its just a normal restaurant that my family will go weekly to eat with my uncle, auntie, cousin and grandmother.

But anyway, because they are holding two different wedding dinners in 2 different location due to the different birthplace of the bride and groom, i guess they had to look for something more affordable. Nothing against that really.

I wish to jump straight into what happened first before talkinga bout why this is one of the worst weddings i have attendned in my whole life. esp since i attended 3 this year.

After the dinner, my parents and i walked with my cousin and my auntie to the parking lot where the car is.

Then my da realised that the window screen at his side was gone.

someone smashed our car window and tried to open the car boot.
He then stole our luggage away.

Luckily, not much important items such as our passports were stolen.

Valuable items stolen included:-
- earrings of certain valuable quality which i m unable to reveal
- necklace also of certain valuable quality
- my favourite black dress
- red necklace
- clothes of my mum, dad and mine
- my favourite cosmetics pouch with all of my favourite cosmetics..
-> they include, my favourite XXL volume and length mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, eyelash curler, lip stick, lip gloss, makeup remover
- expensive camera which consisted of memory sticks of 32MB, 64 MB, 128MB, 512MB

Cant rmebemrber if there was still anything esle missing.

Ya.. and so we went to my uncle's shophouse and tried to paste transparent film over the window to act as a temporary window. We drove that all the way home.

We were not the only car kana like tt. I heard another 2 Singapore cars also kena the same thing.

When we were caught in a jam on the causeway, we spotted another car with their left window pasted with film as well. i think they might be one of the other 2 Singaporean cars too. haha.. so qiao


Anyway, ya. i was left traumatised all the way home. And yes, i m stil traumatised.

Why is it one of thw worst i attended?

I do not blame the bride and groom. i think its none of their faults and i think there is nothing wrong with what they did. So, pls dont take it as though i m saying bad things about them.

I would never allow my wedding to end up like that though.

1. Organisation was poor. Family members were not given a chance to sit with family members.
There was one reserved table which they refused to open up and as a result, families were split apart and had to sit with strangers.

2. Entering of bride and groom was poorly planned with bad lighting as well as bad music.
Who enters without the famous marriage song and they evn tell the ppl to sit down and not to stand up.
In my wedding, the people better make sure they all stand up and clap man!

3. Serving the first dish, the cold dish, seemed a much better planned and more prominent event than actually welcoming the bride and groom into the event.
They purposely off their lights and had very well planned speech introducing their restaurant rather than to glorify the bride and groom, who were, suppposed to be the stars of the nite!

4. Serving of first dish was with weird revolving disco-like lights on the top of each dish. the colourful disco-like lights were looked so damn low-class, complementing the restaurant. haha.

5. A waitress broke a glass of champagne when the couple was in their midst of exchanging champagne with their hands interlocked.

6. Yum seng was not even done well at all. most kept quiet.

7. Food was served extremely slowly. There was about 15minutes interval where everyone's table was empty and everyone was beginning to fidget around. The last dish took about 20 to 30 minutes to come. 2 tables left before dessert was served.

*if they play diner dash, they sure lose like shit.

8. They claimed i was rude to them when i asked them to check out the situation for the car.
HELLO!!! DO U KNOW WHAT IS CUSTOMERS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT? HUH? WHERE ARE YOUR FUCKING MANNERS??!! AND HOW DARE YOU SHOUT AT ME AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU THAT YOU CAN SHOUT AT ME?!

waiters shouting at guest! this is the first time i ever seen a waiter telling a guest " your tone is very wrong. "

it is you that is something wrong ok? just trying to shun responsibility only!

maybe you were one of the people who stole the things from the car!

i can come up with so much more reasons why it was fucking bad. but i shallnot say anymore.
I hereby wish the couple a happy marriage. May all bad luck end yesterday.

pass driving and 1 free dinner (MUST READ!!!)

Yeah!!!! i finally passed driving on my second try! and this time, the tester was very nice!!!
When we were appraoching road hazards, he even told me," Look out for the hazard and be careful ar!!"

Anyway, there were several points where i thought i would surely fail. haha.. but i'm so happy that i took the tester's hand and shook it! hehehhehee... =) i think he was a bit shock so he gave me a deadfish handshake. But, nvm, i was too happy to be bothered by it already.

So i decided to trreat my dearie to XXX Restaurant(name protected to protect for certain reasons).

We ordered lots of food, ate heartily and decided to call for the bill.
When the bill came, the amt was $XXXXXX.. (ok la. more than $40)
So i put in my card to pay the bill. By that time, the waiter has left the table to serve others.
We placed it at a prominent position at the front of the table facing everyone.

Minutes passed.

No one bothered us.

Finally, one waitress came over to us. She was holding a jug of iced water.
She looked at the "bill book" (u noe.. the black book where they put your bill in. ) and then she said:" Would you like more iced water?"

We shook our heads and she just LEFT.

This one nvm.

Then... Another waitress came to us. She looked at us, looked atthe bill book and just walked away.

We both were like OMG...
I guess they thought we had paid already and were just sitting down to enjoy our drink before we left. haha.. omg

So dearie suggested we just walk off and see what happens.. hahaha.. we started discussing our plan and were not sure what to do..

Finally, we both mustered the courage to walk out oof the restaurant. TRUE ENOUGH, no one noticed our absence. Restaurant business continued as usual.

haha... omg.. what a day!

I have learnt not to wish for anything for my birthday anymore

it always turns out the opposite