meow meow
i fed friendly chicken wings yest. hasd to peel off bit by bit for her. den blow the meat so that it wont be too hot for her to eat. hee.. den she will wait pateintly for me to give her the teeny teeny weeny piece of me. i'm afriad to give too much to her becuase i scared she will vomit. theother time i gave her fancy feast she vomit sooo much. poor little ktity kitty. she's so beautiful.
anyway, i figured she was rather thristy so i took a container and filled it with water for her to drink. den initially she tried smelling the water (soooo cute..) den after a while, she started to lap them up. u should have seen her tongue. it went like a fast forwarded machine. it was so so so super duper fast! u can nv imagine. i tot wat happened. has something happened to her? den in the end i realised she was v v thirsty. i'm very glad that i did the right thing by giving her water. i wonder how long has she not drank clean water. as in tap water instead of water from drains. i'm gonna continue this practice so that she would have clean water and would nv be thirsty. wat a pretty little kitty. after that she went on to clean herself up at home. so pretty. she blends in so muchwith my home.. esp with my shoe rack. and oh.. i love the black little mole she has behind her back. pretty pretty sexy kitty. love her so dearly. she's the best cat on earth. the best thing that has happend me to . meow meow.
sianx.. i have to study. sucks. hahahaha

i'm very sad. i feel like crying. i'm going to coop myself at home for the next few days and cry. i hate myself. why m i born an only child. i want some siblings. i feel so lonely. =(

heyo.
i kip forgetting to say.. i think chad micheal murray is super duper cute
so is julian hee. he is damn shuai la.. watch the 9pm show on channel 8.. whenever her smiles.. its like woahhh. so cute so boy boy tt kinda look., v yang guang also. hahaha...
anyway.. ya.. life's pretty borinhg these days....

its like damn sian lor.. n noe wat? my parents are going to bangkok tml afternoon until mon nite. how bad of them to leave me alone. now i'm left with nothing. no friends, no fam,ily, only house. thats like really very sad and demoralising. i'm not tryin to say that no friends or whatsoever. buit its like.. no one actually bothered to ask me if i m free or something and if i wanna hnag out or anything. its quite sad. that means that u're perhaps just an acquaintance. (i dunnu how to spell. my spelling these days sucks. thats not the point anyway. i think i shall not ask ppl out liao.. i always ask and its like getting more n more pai seh. everytime i ask. they dun bother to ask me.. its like i'm bugging them or sumthing. i think better not.(anyway.. no particular reference to anyone la.. )it's just my feeling. thats all la. i'm not trying to arrow anyone or anything. anyway.. when i type this.. i'm really not trying to gain pity. this is my bloig. my diary. though many ppl can read it.. not nmany will so i'm not v worried.

ai ya.. i'm suiddenly v sad again. i feel so so lonely. all my frens... haf their other frienbds.. i wonder... if i'm really or even thier friends.. i mean.. not other than schoolmates or acquaintances. i feel so terrible. is there something wrong with my character? can someone please tell me so i can correct it? i'm rreally open to comments about what i should do to make myself a better person. i really wish to learn.

hey gd evening..
i hjust finished chinese lesson.. sianx.. later srtil got math tuition.. din complete the RJ prelim paper my teacher gave to me. so i guess i will complete it some other time n hopefully i will know how to do at least some questions! haha
today is a total SLACK day for me. guess how many free periods i have!! i have 7 free periods. this totals up to 5h15min of free periods spent studying in the library! v crazee rite? by the time at abt 9 plus.. my mind was already in a daze. i shldnt have come to sch so early as my lesson only starts on the 6th period! imagine tt.. having 5 free periods before my first lecture. sucks man. haha
but i dun mind. rathger than studying. bcoz that goldfish nv come today. n noe wat? she din come she actually expects us to sacrifice our after sch time to make up.. just because she has some stupid course. all the stupid fault of the stupid goldfish.
anyway.. i only have 3 periods to attend at sch. chem lect, gp tutorial n chinese. ahhaa.. wat a total slack day man.. it was so slack i was wishing there were more lessons. incredible ain it? haha
anyway.. its super boring day n i m in a not very gd mood. din really feel like being happy. its not pms. its just.. dun feel like doing anything or smiling day. haha
ok. bye.

hi blog. its early in the morning n i m not asleep yet. i cant get to sleep these days. yest i read the story book. kept reading n reading. it was so nice to read. ya. no one really bothers about storytbooks these days? isnt it sad? people prefer to watch movies.
ok. i admit. i like watching movies a lot. but somehw, dont u think the feeling is diff? reading a bk n watching the movie with the exact same storyline? take for example Anne Rice's Queen of the Damned. it was a gread read. but the show? far from gd. i guess words can paint more than what a picture does. unlike the saying, a pciture speaks a thousand words. i feel much more into the stoiry if i were to reasd it than to just sit there and watch it. like.. Vampire Lestat (i think so. kinda forgot his name) .. he became so much alive in my storyworld but in the movie.. he wasnt very much outstanding. so wat im saying is that.. we shld all grab a book and read. reading is gd. it not only spoils your eyesight it makes ur eyes smaller also.
so anyway, i dunnu what i shld type today actually. i want to type some stuff but dunnu la. i'm in a very crappy mood today. wateva i said to anyone. i just keep on crapping crapping and crapping. i'm trying to distract myself. so please allow me to. ahahahaha..
actually i know. a lotta u out there. have a very negative impression of me. i'm not blaming anyone at all. its true. i have indeed painted a very negative picture of myself. whether if it is to parents, to friends, to teachers, to everyone, maybe to friendly too. (bcoz i pamper her too much n now she kips urinating outside my hse. but sometimes she does go to her toilet bowl.)
and yes. so i was saying. i understand. i understand. but y m i not doing anything against such an image? am i all out to ruin the image of myself? no.
infact, i think there is no use in trying to change that image. its like.. people have the freedom of chioce to view u from any angle, any perspective. so yup.. let them hacve to freedom. if hating you makes them feel happier, why not? at least u have cheered up someone.
i know a lota ppl like to gossip behind my back, i dun like it at all.or even if it is not gossiping behind my back, even if it is doing things like.. whispering to anothwer person's ear in front of me.. i absolutely hate that. i dont do such childish things because i know how its like when someone does that to another person in front of you. i know how it is like to feel left out. to be"extra-ed" from the crowd. i'm not trying to gain sympathy votes or whatsoeva heree k. just get me right. ahha..
yup. which is why i never liked making people feel left out. n which is also why, i dun do that to ppl, hoping that they wun do the same to u. ahaha.. thats all.
anmyway, talking about that led me to think of something else. is it true that some people dont treasure friendships as much as others do? i dunnu. i'm not trying to pinpoint at anyone or whatsoeva. sometimes i feel that once some ppl gaiin something,they begin to neglect other things that they once have. is this true? i wonder. haish.
anyway, this is my blog. i can say anything i like.
i dun like a certain ********(dun bother counting the **** bcoz i just anyhow press). i think they always like to leave ppl out.its like i think some ppl shld not fill certain positions that they are crrently filling. its like.. they do noteven deserve those positions. if they do, the *********** would not be as divided as now. a lotta us would not feel so "extra-ed".
and wats else. do u know first aid? just a question. dont think too deep. its not u. haha.. just saying. just a passing remark to those i mentioned above. haahahhahaa..... think think think.. and then again.. why bother cracking your brains so hard if yur conscious is ticking ticking n ticking.. justlike an atomic bomb ready to explode. hahahhahahahah.... how i wish it really would explode. hahahaha..evil mei qin . evil mei qin. hahaha..
anwyay, sad thoughts. just sad thoughts. m i not entitled to be sad? hahahahahhaha
okok. anyway, i realsied i've been crappingto a lott my frenx today. actually i feel like crying to them. telling them how devastated i feel. but i decided against it. is hld make them feel happy. everyone likes a happy friend. well.. some prefer other types of friends though. haha.. not everuyone likes me as a friend. ahahahhahahah crapping away again. opps! sorry!
haha. i dun like to structure my blog entry. i believe in typing as it comes. whatever shit comes into my mind, i type. which is why reading my blog is never enjoyable. haha. like a 21st century literature book?? haha(learnt tt from jancie. hahaha)
anyway, its late so many ppl go n slp liao. i dun wanna slp. cant slp. so dun force me.
i know. no one is forcing me. ahhahaha
okok.
i ahte myself. m i entitled to say that? ppl will slap my face n tell me to wake up n say that i m so much more fortunate than many others n i shld treasyre my dearest life and embrace it with open arms. what shit. u living in your freaking fantas world? hahahahahha.. perhaps you are. haha.. wakey wakey. life snbt alwasy gd. or shld i say.. it wass never gd? hahaha.. ok. crapx.
i'm v sad. for no reason. as i told cecilia.. i'm addicted to being sad. just like many are addicted to sex. haha no link. i know. i just learnt abt sex addiction in a bk i read just only. ok
so yeah.. i enjoy feeling sad. in fact, i enjoy tellingmyself.. i'm the most louusy person in the world. i m in fac5t actually reassuring myself. m i wierd? haha.. i think i will go read another book. bye bye bye bye bye byebye. ahhaha..........................
hahahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha.................
i m weird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wahahahhaahhahahahahahhahaha.........
meow meow meow moew meow meow meow emowm meow mow
woah...........................
look at the spelling?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......pppeeeeeeeeeeeeee
pee wee pee wee scouts! haha.. n where di i get that? sounds damn familiar! hahaha..

hello my dearest blog.
i seem very free this week rite? coming to blog every single day. i hope to be able to swim in the evening later. but my mum going for her workout leh.. so no one to accompany me. see how first i guess.
haish. i just watched "my brother" the movie on vcd just now., i have been renting losta vcds from the shop downstairs my house. very no life right? i dont think i'll be going out for the rest of the week. no one to go out with also. haha..
anyway, sucks la/ i suddenly hate studying. sucks man. i hate amino acids, amines and amides. how the hell am i suppose to do my chem tutorial.
the world seem so stressful. will i b able to cope as i climb higher?i hate being the only child. i want brothers and sisters. why i cannot have? i want my parents to adopt. they dun wan. sucks la. so selfish.
ok i dunnu wat else to say. shld i rent more vcds to watch? if so, what show? hahaha... sucks.

haish.. has anyone noticed that te weather is turning from bad to worse? or is it jst my mood?
i doubt so. the sky has been looking pretty hazy. i wonder why. dry weather coupled with bush fires? i tot they were long gone already by the start of march. why is haze still lurking admist us?
and precisely because of the terrible haze.. its been almost quite impossible to complete any task without even coughing a couple of times. perhaps i'm just using the haze as an excuse but it seems to me that my health is getting from bad to worse.and it seems to follow the trend of the haze. am i being over-sensitive here? these few mornings i've been waking up early in the morning by my sudden coughs which eventualkly lead to asthma attacks. haish. mayb its because i'm dying soon. might as well. haha..
i really hope to not have a recurrence of an extremely serious asthma case becuase my mum says that by the time i reach 18 + n if i still continue to have serious asthma attacks, it will follow me throughout the rest of my life. haish. i really hope not. i'm already burdened with enough health problems already. and if i continue to get asthmatic attacks.. it would eventually lead to deterioration of health which leads to decreased productivity when it comes to doing everything. in the end, it will lead to poor spiritual health, thus leading to clinical depression. what a link up.
but this is very serious for me. i guess what i'm typing here is stupidly boring. i'm just typing here to warn myself. haha. sorry if its kinda boring.
even now, late into the night(well, not very late), i can still smell the smoking atmosphere and i can feel myself starting to wheeze already. i really hope al these will not affect my studies as this is a very important year for me. i've been using the inhaler almost every night and i better stop using it too frequently if not i'll become over-dependent on it and my life will continue being dependent on the drug. i must not let it happren to me.
i dont understand how come i m such an unlucky person to get all sorts of illnesses. howvere, i should also count myself lucky to nt get incurable diseases, etc. thus, i should not wallow in self-pity about my health too much. in fact, i should treasure it. which is why i'm trying very hard to lead a healthy lifestyle(but wth! with all the haze and all that?! i really feel v wheezy the entire day. )
i wanted to go to the park opposite for a jog this morning to maintain a healthy lifestyle but in the end decided against it as the weather was too bad again. this seriously sucks. i haven been having a good sleep these days. the air con in my room is simply too hot and i wake up in the wee hours of the night coughing my lungs away. how i wish i have magical powers to cure all of these.
i dont understand. the air con simply doesnt work well enough when i'm nt really in one of my best moods. is it me or is the air ocn? prob the aircon rite?i can even perspire in the air con room. this sucks.
this morning my mum woke me up and quarelled with me before she went to work. haish. because of a stupid newspaper report. stupid idiot 3rd yr mass communications student from NTU had to write about the dangers lurking in friendster. my mum is indeed very aware of this website and has been forcing me to remove my account from it. so i started one whole big quarrel with her because, as most of my friends will know, i cant stand people forcing me to do things that i do not wish or see the point to do. i.e i hate being controlled. and i would not allow anyone to exert their power onto me. so i argued with her that if i were so stupid to be lured into prostitution and gangs i wont be living today already. hello. i'm already turining 18! i know for some, 18 is considered young liao. but hello! i have a mind of my own to think. if u want me to learn, forcing me to do something is not learning! what u should do is to treat your child like a young adult and tell them and warn them and period. thats it. den u can let them slowly process through their minds about the dos and the donts.
this could perhaps be the influence of the singapore government on society today. as a result, many faithful followers of the govt feel that their "method" of teaching is the best.forbidding will produce the best results as it will never be done. u think ppl will learn? hello..! dnt u think its very shameful for our other counterparts in the other parts of the world to know that we need to be taught the hard way that chewing gum and spitting it all over the place is wrong? (actually, i sorta took this from mrs noordin. but hey! at leadt i apply what i have learnt.)
people from other parts of the worldf must be thinking "oh.. how sad for these singaporeans. they dont have a mind of their own. they need to be taught on the dos and donts the "fine " way." haha. i digressed.
so back to the friendster topic. i think its absolutely crap what my mother has suggested. it is such a lousy idea i opposed it and got into a big fight with her. many must be thinking i must have been outta my mind to quarrel over such trivial things. but well.. everything starts small.
soi thats why i should alert my mum that she's becoming a guai follower of the sg govt culture.
i have yet to change her mindset on non-science subjects. it sucks. she says i will surely ddo well if i major in science if i get into a U. but hello! out of how many of the thousands who take up science wil actually get jobs? u think everyone who takes up science will get an immediate job? dont be naive! (another quote from mrs noordin).
so.. yeah. i've said my piece.
my eyelids were back to normal by sunday tuition time. but i cried this morning again. so yeah. sucks. my eyes are back to one big eyelid one small eyelid. my mum asked me this evening if i cried. haha. am i supposed to0 say yes? haha.
i feel very bad because i was completely cold to everyone today. well. sucks . PMSin? haha. i donnu. i'm in a completely ill mood and if anyone agitates me.. u're so gonna get iyt from me. or actually, u might be lucky. i would be too absorbed in my emotions to even care about u.
i skipped dinner today and went to the library to borrow books while my parents had dinner. i simply had no appetite. dont ask why. i wont explain why. if not u'll c a reservoir where u can water-ski in it. ok. gd nite. i'll go read story books till i fall asleep. bye. goodnight.

yo.. morning.. shits la.. the stupid mosquito in my room bite me on my eye lid.. sucks. now one big one small..

hello frenx. i've changed my blogskin to make it more pink to cheer moiself up.
comments?
i like it a lot. coz its ayumi n i like ayumi a lot. just read that sly n maia's marraige is off. thats much better. i cant wait to buy his cd coming out end of march.
yest was temasek idol. charles won for individuals category while baking fudge won for grp category. charles was really gd. he could beatbox n sing at the same time to the song "my boo.." damn sei la.. den my angel dun wanna show us how to beat box. i bet she learnt a lot from charles. yest they were v sweet too. haha.. i betrter not type too much if not she'll certainly kill me. haha..
baking fudge was v gd. so we were right.. it was u bake the cake.. the cake come out.. den u eat the cake. haha.. at first we couldnt get wat they were singing. haha..
ok.. going fer NUS open house.. bye bye!!! i wanna take sociology.. but i dunnu wat it is. sounds sei rite? hahaha...,

hello my friends.. i wonder if ppl still come to read or not. haha
sorry for the past few weeks. i haven been really actively blogging n i forsee that in the near future i will not have much time to blog too. (mayb besides the march hols. hopefully)
i have been damn bz with lots lots lots of stuff.. tests are like so damn much. n its like. on one week, theRE is no test. on the next wk, there is like 3 tests all squeezed together. cant they like spread them out? so stupid de leh!!
haha.. anyway, i m trying my best to cope well. i hope to score some As in my As. hahaa.. sounds nice..
anyway, i got C6 for my chinese. damn sad. haha.. from an A2 drop to a C6. whatever the hell has happned to me? so i decided to go for a 26 lap swim. haha.. length. not breath k. haha.. felt much much better after that.
ok later i got tuition so i got not much time to say much.
anyway.. sighx.. i m feeling v v tired.. i wanna go orh orh!!!!!!!!!!!
haha.. and also.. have u heard about the alternate effect? haha.. its prob a thoery i created myself. its liek a cycle. one yr i do well . another yr i do badly. there can b 2 scenarios in my case..
c ar..
1) when i was in pri 6, i did badly for my PSLE.
when i went on to sec4, i did well for my O lvls.
nowm, when i m in J2, i will do badly for my A lvls rite???

there can b another scenario..
2) p6 -- do badly
sec1-- do badly
sec2-- do well
sec 3 -- do badly
sec 4 -- do well
J1-- do badly
J2 -- do well

hahaha..
all of the above are true.. realy gt alternate effect. just tt i dunnuu which one.. haish haish haish haish haish....!!!
i hope to score for my As.. haha.. but i can barely even pass now. hahahahahaha...
anyway, the other day on sat we went flagging at ppl's park. diao ritE? there so many old ppl de. hahaha... not tt i m agaisnt them la.. haha. i so nice!! hhahahahahha..... wateva. ok
den met this indian man.. wah.. wat a traumatising experience. it has already spread amoingst my whole class.. thanks to yc.. hahaha.. idiot .. so scary lor.. next time den type here k? must remind me wor!1 hahaha./. bye bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1