hello. had my prom night on mon. can i speak the trooth?
it was one of the WORSE nightes i have ever attended. pls include wedding nights n my only attended xms graduation night. perhaps i have tot too highly of JC standards. tot perhaps JC standards would be somewat higher than the classy grad nite. din noe it turned out to be rather slumpy.
haha
i din mean it. but here in my blog, i rather be honest la. no point hiding. if u dun think so.. come on.. come contradict m,e or sumting i dun mind. i'm open to more ideas.
u noe wat? the food simply sucks big time man. though there was siew mai. my fav dim sum. boi... i SIMPLY LOVE DIM SUM. ok... thats out of the question rite?sorry sorry. okok.. but neway, my family has been going to eat dim sum lunch for like 3 times a mth or sumting. at legends.
oh yes,legends. it took place there. though same place it was WORSE than my otc grad man! sickeningly sucky sucky sucky. haha.. somemore otc grad we wear full u all tt.. haha
nvm nvm.. mayb its just me la..noe wat? i have a very visible tan line. freak. so when i take fotos. it cqn be seen. freak.
i had no date for prom . happy? thats wat u want to know rite? is that the root of the problem? i dun think so. i just feel damn extra. all my frenx pang sei me except cecilia. simply love her. haha.. sorry some of these frenx.. dun really meant tt. it sounded rather serious.. but some frenx nv really pangsei me la.. like ai ting n janice.
ok ok.. so wat is it now.. fine. no date . fine. so when it was time for frwakin slow dance i had no one to dance with la. as in no guys . fine. not the prob. actually it is la. no no. its not. arghh .. nvm. i'm crapping la k. so sick. i really really wanted to leave the place la! serious lor. coz its simply too OMG N PUKING SICKENING.coz all the couples were PDAing. wat do u want me to do? sit there n smile? yeah.. thats wat i freakingly died when i was not dancing with cecilia or ai ting. haha.. cannot is it?
i'm jealous. is that your problem? stop doing that evil luff of yours now. stop it . its totally sickening k. i told my frenz i dun wanna attend grad ntie next yr. they say i confirm attend. no .i think i wun., i dun wan. its like majority of the time is slow dance., u dun cater to the masses man. wth. i dun like this. PREJUDICED. hmphx.
suckers.
i hate this kind of life. i wonder how life would be next yr. jan 02 2005. haha... waqteva.. WATEVA WATEVA WATEVA. i noe i confirm left out. confirm the same haggy person. confirm the same DEPRESSED person. melodramatic person. tts my problem NOT YOURS.

ok. neway.. went to NSC today. had appt with dr mark tang. think he is a real GREAT doctor! he actually rmbed i wanted to study medcine. den i told him i cant nemore. so he said. y? i told him i'm oni left with 3 subs now. so he was like.. oh.. den he looked at my mum n said../. ''overseas??'' n my mum said no money. haish. ok..
BUT u noe wat he said?????

" mei qin. u cannot go swimming under the sun nemore!"

WAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg.. its like.. there goes my taqn. he says it causes pigmentation to the slkin. to everyone in the world. sobx. esp for me.. i shld aviod as it might cause RASHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=(
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............i love swimming............ i love my tan.................................................................................................................................................................


oh fuck. nvm. wat now. oh i delted all the msges in my inbox in my hp. if u r my fren or a close reader of my blog.. u wilkl noe wat i mean. if not TOO BAD.i dunnu wat to do abt it neway...
oh shld i start calling myself a despo from now on? ahaa.. think beta not. i'm nt one k!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

sad

i know. its like more of an everyday ritual for me these days.. to be sad. for me . i dun know why.
haish. anyway, this whole week has been really terrible for me. its like one of my worst holidays in my life. is my life fated to be like this?
chalet. i dun mean anything bad.mayb its justnot my culutre or watsoeva. perhaps i m just not used to playing cards all tt all day in that bungalow. i'm more of a go-out-to-play-n-enjoy life sort of person when it is time for chalet. i tot mayb this chalet would help me to calm myself down n make myself feel less stressed up. instead, it made me feel worse. which is why i decided to leave on the 2nd day. besides, no point in me staying there. my presence or absence does not really change anything.i'm more of insignificant. i'm insignificant wherever i go. when i reach home, i get scolded by my mother. n just this morning, i get scoldd bny her for waking up at 1030am. is it wrong to even slp a little later than usual?
i kept my cool. u vented your anger at me but i still kept my cool n did not say anything. its a holiday today n i dun see the po9i8nt in getting so stressed up.but in the end, i still become like this.
mayb this sch isnt good for me. i know, most of the times in your life, things wun turn out the way u want it to. but how come for me, everything does not turn out that way?

you may think i m trying to gain your attention by posting all of these on my blog. i m not. i;m just trying to express how i feel.n i dun c anything wrong with tat. go ahead n hate me. but pls.. if there is something worng with me, pls tell me. i would glady change myself.

all of u think that i m very irritating. sometimes, i think i m too. like perhaps i demand too much attention. maybe. but i cant help because sometimes, no one is willing to give me any attention. i know. all of u have your own lives and stuff. i cant possibly interfere in any of your happiness and stuff. so now i know what to do. perhaps i should just stay out of everyone's lives.

i know my problems are minutew compared to everyone else. but i just hate it when popl tell me not be stressed. not to worry. u think i want to be? i dun.

i absolutely hate it when i m stressed n sad.. yet.. no one gives a freaking damn abt me. they give reasons like " you're in a bad mood. better not disturb u''
why dun any of you understand?wat i want is for u to disturb me. to bug me n ask me wats wrong? i just want some care n concern. i used to think i have found manyt\ good friends.i tot i had just made some. mayb i jhaven. mayb i m just fated to be a loner for the rest of my life. wat to do? i really dun know.

now let me tok about some otgher things. t6hings that affecrts no others than myself. i dunnu wat to do. mayb if my family were to break , life would be much happier for everyone? if thats the case i really really dun mind. i cant be bothered. just break if u think u would be happier k. but they dun tget me. they think i m not mature enough watsoeva. of course i noe of the consequences of such a case, but i m more than prepared to face it. i woiuld rather we go n do it once n for all than let it drag. seriously, i m sick of it. but i dunnu how to bring up this matter..

i think i m going insane though i appear very sane. opk. gtg bye

i haven updated my blog for quite a long time though i come online quite often these days. hee..
guess i just did not feel just typing too much. anyway, my chinese 'ao' exams are tml..haix.. die la.. confirm fail. i ggot 54% (after 'moderation') for my promos. i hope i do not have to retake next year again. yes i m slacking now. but i was studying just now, k? hee.
it was my pw oral presentation uyest. my classmates said tt my group was good.=) i hope it was. it had to be for we had put in like, so many sundays!! arghh.. yes yes. so it had better be good. initailly i felt extremely nervous but after standing up from my seat to present, eh? its like rather normal. like practicing everyday. mayb its the ' practice-until-u-have-gotten-sick syndrome'. haha. so after tt, i went home to study fpr chinese again. but i also watch ren wo au you!
its like a really nice show. really like it. all the shuai ges n mei nu men in the show. wah.. their great bods to die for n figures that i can never attain ( bcoz i'm just too fat). haha. somehow watching fiona xie reminded me of myself. no. i'm not trying to say my figure resembles hers. coz it will NEVER.ok. mayb i should clearly define what reminds her of me.

its fiona xie( as of her character in the champions, minus the LOOKS, the FIGURE, the TAN, the TORO.. ya. basically in the show, she plays an absent-minded gal hu is lousy in everything tt could get. ( according to wat i c./ if u have conflicting views,feel free to tell me.) ya. n me.. i nm lousy in sports. haha. how can i ever cure tt ? nv. haha. nvm tt.

anyway, toro is like the cutest guy on earth. everybody say," aWwWWwww...!''

wat else do i want to saY? hmm.. oh yes. i think i have really bad memory.ya. tts all i;ve got to say.

ciao~